A/N: Yeah this chapter is very long. I was debating on splitting it for ages but decided that keeping it together would help with the flow. Agree to disagree I guess.
Also CW: Mild gore, implications of PTSD
The War Room had never been quieter. Only the low rumbling sounds of the Normandy's engines echoed through the room, keeping the squad on edge.
Kaidan looked at his hand; it was bandaged over as the medi-gel supplies were limited after the battle on Rannoch. Much of the remaining medi-gel was used on Garrus, who took the most serious injury; a deep stab wound to his ribs. Thankfully, Chakwas was able to mitigate the damage and the turian was able to move around the Normandy, though his clearance to go on missions was still up in the air. EDI, alongside Traynor and Daniels, was able to repair her physical platform. And thankfully the rest got away more or less unscathed.
Except for Kacey.
The wound in her shoulder aside, it was clear that she wasn't okay. She hadn't uttered a single word, much less made a sound, since they left the temple. They were summoned to the War Room alongside Traynor by Kacey, who had sent a message through their omni-tools (Tali had to drag Javik upstairs). It left them in the eerie silence as Kacey stood in the comm room, initially letting the QEC ring out before answering the call from Tevos.
"How soon will the Crucible be ready to deploy?"
"Councillor…I wish the news was better. We didn't get the information."
She sounded defeated; Kaidan never thought he'd ever hear that from Kacey. She always kept a positive yet realistic view on missions. She always kept herself composed and collected.
"What happened?"
"Cerberus was there. We were…"
Her voice, that usually carried a comforting tone and radiated confidence, was replaced with one that was filled with venom and anger.
"We were defeated. We don't know how to finish the Crucible."
James took a deep breath; Liara was barely keeping herself together. Garrus couldn't look anyone in the eye. The tension in the room was unbearable.
"I…don't know what to say. What was the situation on Thessia?"
Liara's breathing hitched, the silence becoming more and more suffocating as they awaited Kacey's response.
"Deteriorating fast. The Reapers are there in strength."
She had spat the words out; almost like they were poisonous. Her frustration was clear as day and Kaidan couldn't blame her. Four years of warnings. Four years of denials.
"Then you'll excuse me. There are…preparations to make…continuity of civilization to consider. I never thought this day would come."
"None of us did. I'm…"
The call cut out; the squad waited with baited breath.
"Sorry."
The tense silence returned in force; but a sudden loud bang erupted through the War Room, causing Tali to jump. The sound of Kacey slamming her fist on the QEC interface terminal had caught the squad off-guard; all aside from James and Kaidan. Kaidan knew by looking at the marine that he remembered what happened when they left Earth.
It took a minute before Kacey left the comm room and revealed herself to the squad. Nobody said a word; at first anyway. EDI then stood straight, clearly showing no intention of remaining silent.
"Asari forces are in full retreat. It is no longer safe for us to remain in this system." EDI chimed.
"Get us out of here." Kacey said firmly.
EDI nodded, choosing not to push the matter further. Kacey's curt response was enough of a reason not to push the buttons of the angry Commander Shepard. The silence returned until Liara collected herself enough to speak up.
"Kacey…I…" Liara said, "Nobody could have predicted Cerberus would reach Thessia before us."
"No. I should have." Kacey said firmly, refusing to look at any of the squad, "It's my job to be prepared…no matter what. And now Thessia's lost, as is the data on the Catalyst."
Her expression hardened as looked at the image of Thessia before continuing, "I'm sick of Cerberus beating us to the punch!"
"Let's kick 'em in the balls for a change!" James mused, leading to a sharp look from Garrus and Kaidan.
"I'm with James." Kacey said, her tone remaining firm and commanding, "Anyone know where they're hiding? Anyone?"
The room was silent. EDI looked over at Traynor, who stood nervously as Kacey eventually looked over at the specialist.
"Um…Well, there is something." Traynor said.
"Let's hear it, Traynor."
"I was able to track Kai Leng's shuttle through the relay and extrapolate his destination." Traynor explained, "But…the signal disappeared in the Iera system."
"Naturally…" Kacey growled.
"It's not just gone though." Traynor added, "The signal is actively being blocked."
"How?"
"I'm not sure, but something is interfering with all signal activity in that region of space." Traynor answered.
"Commander, the Iera system is home to Sanctuary and little else." EDI added, "Sanctuary is a supposed safe haven for war refugees located on the planet of Horizon."
Kaidan silently wished EDI had stayed silent; mentioning Horizon now was not a good idea. Especially with Kacey being in the state she's in.
"You think it's worth checking out, Taynor?" Kacey asked.
"Yes, ma'am. I do."
"If Specialist Traynor hadn't examined the data so astutely, the interference would've been undetectable." EDI added.
"Good work. Now let's make sure we don't waste this chance." Kacey said, "Set a course for Horizon."
"Shouldn't we wait for Alliance Command to give us the order?" James asked.
Kacey shot him a sharp look, "Fuck Alliance Command! We are going to Horizon. Speaking of, Kaidan. Notice anything odd there?"
Kaidan thought for a moment, trying to think of the best way to explain exactly what he needed to say, "No. The only ones flying under Cerberus colours there was you. If there was anyone else, they stayed clear of me."
"Okay."
"It's a slim lead." Liara mused, "I hope it's worth it."
"I don't give a damn how slim the leads are at this point." Kacey snapped, "We've come too far to let Cerberus stop us. I want the prothean data. I want the Catalyst. No excuses. Dismissed."
Nobody hesitated on leaving the War Room; as Kaidan walked through the conference room, Garrus spoke up.
"Engineering sub level. Ten minutes."
…
Kaidan found himself underneath the stairs in the sub-deck of the Engineering deck, alongside Tali, Garrus and James. Javik refused to participate and Liara was too upset to get involved. Leaving the four of them to talk it out down in the dimly lit engineering sub-deck; although why the turian sharpshooter selected this location was unclear.
"Is there a reason you dragged us down here, Garrus?" James asked.
"Yeah, I figured we needed to talk somewhere private." Garrus replied, "About what we're going to do with Kacey."
"Kacey?" James questioned.
"Come on, James. You're telling me you didn't know that was her name?" Tali smirked.
"No, not until that assassin called her that." James responded, looking at Kaidan, "What's with that by the way?"
"What do you mean?" Kaidan asked.
"It sounded like they knew each other." James replied, "There's no way that level of animosity is a recent thing. That has had time to build up."
"It has." Kaidan replied, "Kai Leng and Kacey enlisted around the same time."
"They did?" Tali said shocked, "Wait, that bosh'tet was Alliance?"
"Used to be, I don't know all the details, but…" Kaidan responded, "They had a falling out during boot camp and he's had it out for Kacey since."
"Whatever that falling out was about, it's clearly eating away at her." Garrus mused, "But not as much as Thessia, it seems."
"I can't believe she snapped like that." Tali said, "I don't think I've ever seen her like that."
"She was like that when we left Earth." James mused, "She punched a dent in the Engineering deck."
"What? Where?"
"Near the elevator."
"When did that get fixed?" Kaidan asked.
"During a bout of shore leave we had before heading to Tuchanka." James explained.
"Kaidan, you've got to talk to her." Garrus said, "I don't think gunning directly for Horizon is a good idea. Half of us took one hell of a beating and we don't have a good enough countermeasure for his shields. If Kai Leng's there, we might not be lucky next time."
"Garrus is right; we can't take any chances." Tali said, "I'm working with EDI to make a countermeasure but it will take time. We don't have the same resources Mordin did when outfitting us for the Collector Base."
"I'll talk to her, but I'm not sure I'm going to be able to talk her out of going to Horizon." Kaidan replied, "At most, hopefully I can delay it."
"A delay is better than nothing." James replied.
"Let's just hope it's enough."
…
"What the hell happened here?" Kaidan asked, looking around the CIC.
The atmosphere in the CIC was tense; as the elevator doors opened Kaidan could see the sparking remains of Kacey's private terminal, a hole punched clean through the screen. Traynor was attempting to fix the computer while the rest of the crewmen and women on the CIC kept themselves busy away from the galaxy map.
"Kaidan! Holy shit, I'm glad you're here!" Joker shouted from the bridge.
"Care to explain what's going on?" Kaidan asked as he walked down the bridge.
"Okay so, Kacey came down here, mad, and I tried to cheer her up, y'know with humour."
"Right." Kaidan said, crossing his arms.
"And she…she didn't exactly find it funny,"
"What did you say?"
"I may or may not have made a joke about how the asari might be thinking that they need less pole dancers and more soldiers right now." Joker replied.
Kaidan facepalmed, sighing, "Joker…why?"
"Hey, it's not like I'm unsympathetic to the asari." Joker said quickly, "I know it maybe wasn't the time, but look at this…"
Kaidan watched as Joker pulled up a screen, showing the metabolic scans from Kacey armour, before continuing, "EDI compared it to her scans from the Skyllian Blitz, The Battle of the Citadel and the Collector Base and look at how high that is."
"Damn, that looks bad." Garrus mused.
"It's higher now than before." Kaidan mused.
"Yeah, more than a fighting a Reaper blind, battling 10,000 batarians alone and an actual suicide mission." Joker explained, "Anderson asked me to take care of her. He's worried about her. And I'm supposed to help?"
"I know. Hackett asked me to do the same." Kaidan replied, "But how did her computer end up with a hole in it?"
Joker shrugged, "No idea."
"I might have an answer." Traynor said upon arriving on the bridge, "Look at this. I just recovered it from her private terminal."
Kaidan, Joker and Garrus peered over at the datapad, and suddenly the hole in the computer finally made sense:
From: Asari Military Command
Good. You opened this message. This isn't actually asari military command. They're too busy tending to what's left of their planet.
So you survived our fight on Thessia. Seems you haven't lost that ruthless backbone of yours. But never forget that your best wasn't good enough to stop me. You've grown weaker while I've grown stronger. And now an entire planet is dying because you lacked the strength to win. Because you care more about your friends than them.
The legend of Commander Shepard needs to be re-written. I hope I'm there for the last chapter. It ends with your death.
-KL
"Suddenly the giant hole makes sense." Joker said, "Nice to know I didn't cause that."
"That bastard is rubbing it in her face." Garrus said.
"What a dick." Joker scoffed.
"Okay. Where is she?" Kaidan said, handing the datapad back to Traynor.
"Deck one." EDI chimed.
"Thanks, EDI." Kaidan replied before marching down the bridge.
"What are you doing?" Joker shouted.
"Getting some answers." Kaidan replied as he entered the elevator, "One way or another."
…
The elevator stopped, the doors opened to the first deck and Kaidan stepped off. He didn't bother knocking as he entered the Captain's Cabin. Kaidan saw Kacey as he stepped through the door, watching the scarlet-haired commander pacing up and down the room. Her right hand was bleeding, likely caused by the shards of glass that splintered off from the private terminal upon contact.
She hadn't even registered that he was here; she was still pacing, running her uninjured hand through her hair. Kaidan stood at the bottom of two steps, practically blocking access to the rest of the ship, arms crossed.
"Kacey." Kaidan said, catching her attention.
"If you're here to give me a lecture, save it." Kacey said, still pacing, "I'm not in the mood."
"If it helps, I'll give Joker one for being a wiseass." Kaidan replied, "But I'm more worried about you."
"You don't need to be."
Kaidan tilted his head, giving Kacey a sceptical look, "Your attitude and the hole in your computer says otherwise. And that doesn't include your plan to run off to Sanctuary."
"What's your point?" Kacey asked, agitated. Kaidan approached her, looking directly at her with a look of both concern and determination.
"My point is, that you are not okay. No matter how many times you tell me or the crew otherwise." Kaidan replied, "I don't know what's going on, but you are not taking us on a suicide mission without a reason."
"I have a reason."
"Kai Leng is not a reason." Kaidan replied.
Kacey sighed in frustration, "We just lost a planet, possibly the war and you're more concerned about, what? My problems?"
"You're killing yourself, Kacey." Kaidan argued, "You can't win a war if you're dead!"
"I might as well be!" Kacey shouted, "I've already died!"
"Is that what this is about?! Your death?!" Kaidan yelled back, "Because you've died once, your life isn't worth anything?!"
"Is this a life really worth living?!" Kacey asked, yelling louder, "Watching people die all the time?! Knowing you could have saved them and didn't?! Knowing that no matter what, all you'll know is death and destruction?! Knowing that no matter what you do to stop it, you will be ignored?!"
The room fell silent; Kaidan's expression softened as Kacey realised just how much she had let slip. She sighed, looking away from Kaidan with a despondent look on her face. The silence hung in the air, as Kaidan tried to process what he had just heard.
"They should never have pinned this all on you." He said after several minutes of silence. Kacey looked at him, confused as Kaidan continued, "The Alliance, the Council…everybody. You tried to warn them, you did all you could. Nobody should have expected you to win this on your own."
Kacey let a mirthless laugh, "Yeah, well…that's not the galaxy we live in."
"It should be. Thessia falling was not your fault." Kaidan continued, "Tevos refused to help from the very start. That's on her, not you."
"I should have tried harder."
"Kacey, you don't know if that would have helped."
"I know I lost the chance because of Cerberus."
"You're referring to the Collector Base."
Kacey nodded, sighing. Kaidan took her hands in his own, taking a closer look at the injury on her right hand. It looked painful, yet Kacey seemed unfazed by it.
"Something happened at the Collector Base, didn't it?" Kaidan asked to which Kacey nodded.
"Yeah…a lot happened there." Kacey said anxiously, "A lot I'd rather forget."
"What happened?" Kaidan asked tentatively.
Kacey looked at him, shocked, "You didn't read the report?"
"Nobody was allowed to read it." Kaidan replied, "It was highly classified."
"Right." Kacey replied bitterly. She didn't even look surprised.
"Talking about it might help." Kaidan replied, "And I can get this glass out of your hand."
"No!" Kacey replied sharply, pulling her hand away. She winced as one of the shards embedded in her hand moved.
Her reaction caught him off-guard; Kaidan had never seen Kacey actively refuse medical treatment like this before. She was always a little hesitant about it, but never refused it if she needed it.
"Relax, I'm just going to take the glass out and bandage it up." Kaidan reassured her, "I would never do anything to hurt you."
She eyed him carefully before relenting; she gave him her hand as he led her to the seats, pulling out the first aid kit that Kacey kept under the seat.
"So, what happened after you helped Legion?" Kaidan asked, putting on disposable gloves.
Kacey sighed, "I got an email from the Illusive Man about Project Overlord."
"Yeah, you mentioned it before. The messed up experiment with human/VI hybrid?"
Kacey nodded, "The Reaper IFF still needed testing, so I took the whole squad in the shuttle to sort the mess out. I figured that it would be a good stress test before we went through the Omega-4 Relay. But it was a trap."
Kaidan picked up the tweezers as he began to pull out the glass, "A trap?"
Kacey nodded, wincing as the glass was pulled from her hand, "The IFF disabled the thrusters and was transmitting the location of the Normandy…to the Collectors."
"Holy shit."
"Yeah." Kacey sighed, "Joker snuck around the Normandy under EDI's instruction as the crew was kidnapped. He unshackled EDI and she saved Joker and the Normandy. When we got back, Miranda railed on him."
"And you?" Kaidan asked.
"I can't blame him for something that wasn't his fault." Kacey replied, "We agreed that we were all prepared; the ship, our armour, our weapons…we were outfitted for war. And we were ready. I set a course for the relay. And it was around then, I got that email from you."
Kaidan paused, "You got that?"
Kacey nodded, a small smile on her face, "Yeah, I did. In a way, it gave me more of a reason to come back alive."
"You still wanted to make things right?"
"Even if it killed me." Kacey replied, "I got ready shortly after and went to the bridge to oversee our trip through the Relay, that is until the Illusive Man called up again…"
…
"Shepard, I wish I had more information for you; I don't like you heading through that Relay blind, but we don't have much choice." The Illusive Man said, between puffs of smoke.
"We'll be fine." Kacey replied curtly, "I've got a good team behind me and as long as we stick together we'll be fine."
"I knew we brought you back for a reason." The Illusive Man smiled, "I've never seen a better leader."
"I guess he's forgotten about that now." Kaidan mused.
"Yeah that sounds about right." Kacey replied.
"Despite the danger, it's a great opportunity." The Illusive Man continued, "The first human to take a ship through…and survive."
"This isn't a field trip to satiate your curiosity." Kacey replied bluntly, "I'm going to destroy the Collectors. To stop their attacks on humanity."
"Understood. It's still impressive." The Illusive Man replied, "I just wanted you to know I appreciate the risk you're taking. Regardless of your opinion of Cerberus, of me. You are…a valuable asset. To all of humanity. Be careful, Shepard."
"After that call, I went to the bridge. We were nearly at the relay. We had spent so much time preparing for this and it still didn't feel real. There was no way of knowing if we were going to survive…but we have beaten the odds before. And I was determined to do it again."
"Approaching Omega-4 Relay." Joker said through the intercom, "Everyone stand by."
"Let's make it happen." Kacey said.
"Hell yes." Joker added.
"Reaper IFF activated. Signal acknowledge." EDI chimed.
"Commander? The drive core just lit up like a Christmas tree." Jacob said through the comms.
"Drive core electrical charge at critical levels." EDI said.
"Rerouting." Joker mused
"Brace for deceleration." EDI said as they went through the relay.
Kacey held onto the back of the pilot's seat as Joker gripped the arm rests tightly. Kacey had never seen the Normandy move so fast through a relay before.
"Oh, shit!" Joker shouted as both he and Kacey lurched forward.
The Normandy was now face to face with thousands of pieces of debris from old starships. Joker quickly steered the Normandy around the debris, moving violently in all directions. Kacey held on as much as she could as Joker attempted to navigate the debris, eventually pulling the ship up over it, avoiding a crash and allowing them both to breathe a sigh of relief.
"Too close." Joker said with a deep breath.
"It's a good thing your reflexes are still sharp." Kacey said.
"Yeah, no shit." Joker replied, "All this debris…these must be all the ships that tried to make it through the Omega-4 Relay. Some look…ancient."
"I have detected an energy signature near the edge of the accretion disk." EDI chimed.
"Has to be the Collector Base." Kacey said, "Take us in for a closer look, nice and easy."
Joker flew the ship carefully towards the base, all seemed quiet. Too quiet.
"Careful, Jeff." EDI spoke up, "We have company."
"Taking evasive manoeuvres." Joker confirmed, steering the Normandy away from the lasers. The cyclical machines ducked and dived around the debris, relentlessly opening fire on the Normandy.
"Now they're just pissing me off!" Joker scoffed, "EDI take these bastards out!"
One of the lasers grazed the outer plating of the ship; Joker jerked the Normandy away from the lasers.
"Looks like the new plating is holding up." Kacey mused.
"They want another round?" Joker said, "Come on, girl, let's give it to them!"
Joker flew the Normandy in and out of the floating debris as EDI used the smaller guns to take out some of the orbs. The inside of the frigate shook violently as Joker narrowly escaped the pursuing orbs, only for one to launch themselves into the cargo bay.
"Alert: Hull breech on the Engineering Deck." EDI chimed.
"It's in the cargo hold!" Joker added.
"I'll take a team and deal with the intruder." Kacey said, "You focus on getting the rest of them off our tail."
"Aye, aye Commander!"
"I took Tali, Garrus and Grunt down to the shuttle bay. The orb had punched a few holes through the ship and fired that laser on us. We had to use heavy weapons to take it down; the damn thing was reinforced with technology we had never seen before."
Kacey dived behind the cooling fan; she was sick of hiding from this thing. She pulled out the grenade launcher, having exhausted the other weapons power cells. She couldn't afford to use all the power cells before even reaching the Base. It didn't help that the machine kept moving in and out of the holes in the Normandy, meaning she kept missing her shots.
"We're sitting ducks out here!" Joker said through the comms, "I have to try to lose them in the debris field!"
Kacey held on tight as the Normandy shook violently; Joker sped the ship through the very clustered debris field. The sounds of the orbs exploding upon colliding with the debris echoed around the shuttle bay. The orb they were fighting returned, and Kacey had no intention of letting it escape again.
She blasted it with more grenades, while Tali deployed her combat drone to distract the orb. Garrus and Grunt helped Kacey plough through its armour, with Grunt jumping on top of the flying orb to force it down to the ground so it wouldn't get away. After enough grenades, the orb finally exploded.
"I think it's going to stay dead this time." Tali mused.
"I hope you're right." Kacey replied.
"Better get back up here, Commander." Joker said through the comms, "We're about to clear the debris field."
"On my way." Kacey replied.
"The Collector Base…it was the only intact structure in the galactic core. It was a cyclical structure, almost identical to their ships but much larger than them."
"There it is…the Collector Base." Miranda said as Kacey approached the bridge.
"See if you can find a place to land without drawing attention." Kacey said.
"Too late." Joker said, "Looks like they're sending out an old friend to greet us."
A Collector ship departed from the base, immediately firing its laser towards the Normandy. Joker avoided it effortlessly.
"Time to show our new teeth." Kacey said, "Fire the main gun!"
Joker smirked as he activated the Thanix Cannons; Garrus' new upgrade to the ship tore the Collector Ship to pieces with one shot, blowing it to smithereens.
"How do you like that, you sons of bitches?!" Joker quipped as Kacey felt the satisfaction of watching the Collector Ship being destroyed.
"Get in close and finish them off!" Kacey ordered.
"Everybody hold on! Gonna be a wild ride!" Joker said, "Give 'em hell, girl!"
Joker avoided another stretch of the laser, opening fire again on the ship with the Thanix Cannons, through destroying the ship. However, the resulting explosion hit the underside of the Normandy, causing the frigate to shake violently.
"Mass effect field generators are offline!" Joker said, "EDI, give me something!"
"Generators unresponsive. All hands brace for impact." EDI responded.
"Shit!"
The wing of the Normandy hit something hard as it crashed, leading to Miranda and Kacey being flung down the bridge. The ship skidded along the top of the base, with sparks erupting from the fried machinery. As the Normandy skidded to a halt, Kacey slowly picked herself up from the floor, as Joker re-orientated himself in his seat.
"The Normandy took a substantial amount of damage from the explosion, but it wasn't completely unsalvageable. But we couldn't focus on the Normandy; not while we had a base to destroy."
"Joker, you okay?" Kacey asked.
"Ugh…" Joker said, "I think I broke a rib. All of them."
"Multiple core systems overloaded during the crash." EDI explained, "Restoring operations will take time."
"We all knew this was likely a one-way trip." Miranda mused.
"Don't count the Normandy out yet, Miranda." Kacey replied.
"I'm glad you're in charge." Joker mused, "What's next?"
"Depends. How long until the Collectors find this landing zone?"
"I do not detect an internal security network." EDI explained, "It is possible the Collectors did not expect anyone to reach the base."
"If we're lucky their external sensors were hit like we were." Joker added, "They might not know we're alive."
"Let's hope so." Kacey said before turning her attention to Miranda, "Summon everyone to the Briefing room."
"This was always likely to be a one-way trip; the chance of that was hanging over our heads the entire time. I needed the team to believe in themselves, believe in me, to make it through in one piece."
Kacey stood at the top of the room as her squad entered, all of whom were prepared to head out once she gave the order. Yet, inside she knew that this wasn't going to be easy. The Collectors were a ruthless enemy, as were the Reapers. She hated not knowing what was going on inside, but she had to hope her squad was ready to take on anything.
"This isn't how we planned this mission, but this is where we're at." Kacey said in a commanding voice, "We can't worry about whether the Normandy can get us home. We came to stop the Collectors and that means coming up with a plan to take out this station. EDI bring up your scans."
EDI brought up a holographic map of the base before explaining, "You should be able to overload their critical systems if you get to the main control centre, here."
"That means going through the heart of the station." Jacob added, "Right past this massive energy signature."
Kacey looked over at the holographic map, "That's the central chamber. If our crew or any of the colonists are still alive, the Collectors are probably keeping them in there."
"Looks like there's two main routes. Might be a good idea to split up to keep the Collectors off-balance, the regroup in the central chamber." Jacob replied.
"No good." Miranda countered, pointing at the map, "Both routes are blocked. See these doors? The only way past is to get someone to open them from the other side."
"It's not a fortress, there's got to be something." Kacey responded, before coming across a solution, "Here, maybe we can send someone in through this ventilation shaft."
"Practically a suicide mission." Jacob smirked, crossing his arms, "I volunteer."
"I appreciate the thought, Jacob, but you couldn't shut down the security system in time." Miranda countered.
"It was hard to decide who to send into the vents; if I sent in the wrong person? Anyone could die. So, I had to be careful and weigh up all of the options."
"Legion, you can hack through anything. I'm sending you into the shaft." Kacey announced.
"Acknowledged." Legion confirmed.
"The rest of us will break into two teams and fight down each passage." Kacey explained, "That should draw the Collectors' attention away from what you're doing, Legion."
"I'll lead the second fire team, Shepard." Miranda said confidently, "We'll meet up with you on the other side of the doors."
"Not so fast, cheerleader." Jack snapped, "Nobody wants to take orders from you."
"This is not a popularity contest!" Miranda argued back, "Lives are at stake! Shepard, you need someone who can command loyalty through experience."
"I know." Kacey replied, glancing over at the turian sharpshooter, "Which is why Garrus is in charge of the second team."
"What?!" Miranda and Garrus said in unison.
"Nice one, Shep." Kasumi smirked.
Garrus didn't seem to share Kasumi's enthusiasm, "Shepard, I don't—"
"Garrus, you're a much better leader than you think you are." Kacey said, "The only person who can't see that is you."
"She's right, you know." Tali added.
"Okay, okay. I'll do it." Garrus relented.
"Well, at least he knows what he's doing." Miranda scoffed, earning her a look of ire from Kacey.
Kacey stood straight, addressing the entire squad, "I don't know what we're going to find in there, but I won't lie to you; it's not going to be easy. We've lost good people. We may lose more. We don't know how many the Collectors have stolen—thousands, hundreds of thousands. It's not important. What matters is this; not one more. That's what we can do, here, today. It ends with us. They want to know what we're made of? I say we show them, on our terms. Let's bring our people home!"
"You really do enjoy those speeches." Kaidan smiled, "You always seem to know what to say to alleviate our worries."
"I know how hard it can be to go on a mission like that." Kacey mused, turning her hand over, "You face a lot of unknowns, and you don't know if you'll see tomorrow. It helps knowing that your leader is confident you can win, that they believe in you, even in a hopeless situation."
"You are a master of that, you know." Kaidan replied.
"I know."
Kacey left the Normandy with her team, composed of Tali, Mordin, Grunt and Jack, while Garrus took the rest. They were only going to get one shot to wipe out the Collectors and Kacey was determined to succeed no matter what.
The interior of the base was much like the Collector ship; the creepy blend of organic hive-like material and synthetic parts that kept the base running. Upon entering the base, the area was eerily quiet, devoid of Collectors. It put Kacey on edge; she had a bad feeling about this place that she couldn't shake.
"We are in position." Legion confirmed, "Exterior temperature slightly elevated. No obstruction detected."
"Second team—are you in position?" Kacey asked.
"In position." Garrus confirmed, "Meet you on the other side of those doors."
Kacey turned the corner, encountering a small army of Collectors waiting on platforms near the first terminal. They didn't hesitate to open fire on the squad as they rushed to cover, avoiding the beams and bullets that were being thrown their way. Kacey activated her inferno ammo, the newly upgraded version of her incendiary ammo courtesy of Mordin. The upgraded bullets pierced through the Collectors, taking them down quickly. However, the Collectors replenished their numbers quicker than Kacey and the squad to blast through.
"Garrus here." Garrus' voice rang through the comms, "We're taking heavy fire, but we're moving forward."
"Good work." Kacey replied, "Keep it up!"
"Pathing failure." Legion chimed, "There is an obstruction in the tunnel."
"Somebody hit that valve!" Kacey shouted.
Tali bolted over to the valve as Kacey and the rest of the squad covered the quarian engineer as she hit the valve. Legion moved through the vents as Kacey ordered the team to follow Legion.
"We kept on shooting, running. The Collectors were relentless. It was clear that they had caught on to what we were doing."
Kacey ran through the battlefield, avoiding the bullets being fired at her as she hit another valve; that was the fifth one they had to hit as they made their way through the base. She didn't know how many valves were left before they reached the door.
Kacey ducked as Harbinger tossed one of his orbs at her, narrowly avoiding the orb but was knocked forward by the resulting shockwave. This was starting to piss her off. Kacey dived behind cover and ordered the team to regroup with her. Kacey fired a concussive shot, knocking the Harbinger-possessed Collector into Jack's line of fire; the psychotic biotic tossed it over the edge of the platform and into the abyss.
The squad bolted down the hall as Garrus radioed through, "We're in position, Shepard. Just waiting for the doors to open."
"Roger that." Kacey said as Mordin hit another valve, "Legion, how long left?"
"We anticipate that we are nearing the end, Shepard-Commander." Legion chimed.
"Good."
"Shepard, Harbinger's back!" Tali shouted as she deployed her combat drone.
"Fuck." Kacey complained as she opened fire on Harbinger, "Grunt, Tali, focus on Harbinger! Jack, Mordin, you two focus on the Collectors!"
"On it!" The team said in unison.
Kacey kept her distance, rolling out of the way of the orbs Harbinger threw at her. Once Tali's combat drone reached Harbinger, it became distracted by it, allowing Kacey to unload as many bullets as she needed to into it. However the Collectors continued to flood into the area; for every one that was killed, another two took its place.
"One final obstacle." Legion chimed, "Waiting on you, Shepard-Commander."
"Everyone fall back!" Kacey shouted as she hit the final valve, "Let's get to that door!"
Kacey bolted towards the door, pounding on it hard., "Everyone hold position! Legion, get that door open!"
"The door had malfunctioned." Legion chimed, "Path blocked."
It took a few minutes for the door to open at which point Kacey and her team bolted through. Garrus and his team were already waiting as Kacey opened fire on the Collectors, swarming them.
"Here they come! Fall back!" Kacey shouted.
"Suppressing fire!" Garrus shouted, "Don't let anyone through that door!"
The entire squad opened fire on the horde of Collectors swarming the door; Legion was quickly messing around with the door, attempting to get it shut. In a few minutes, the door snapped shut, allowing the squad to take a deep breath.
"Nice work, Legion." Kacey said, reloading her rifle, "I knew I could count on you."
…
Kacey stopped. Kaidan looked over at her, a worried look on his face. He pulled the last shard of glass from her hand, putting down the tweezers and picking up an antiseptic wipe. Her look conveyed a sense of…guilt? Regret? Horror? It was hard to tell exactly what it was, but he knew that, whatever it was, it was eating away at her.
"What happened after you got through the doors?" Kaidan asked, studying Kacey's expression. She simply looked away, a look of regret painted on her face.
"Something bad." She simply replied, "Kaidan, I…you…you don't need to…"
"Need to?"
She sighed, "You don't need that in your head. What we saw…the thought of it…I can't…"
He had never seen her so distressed; Kacey was always so composed, collected and calm. She never bore such vulnerability like this before now. Even when up against immeasurable odds, she always appeared so confident, fearless. Maybe that was who she was, or maybe she was just really good at hiding it.
"Kacey, hey." Kaidan said reassuringly, "It's okay."
"It's not though!" Kacey replied sharply before taking a deep breath, "You were there, right fucking there, on Horizon when the Collectors attacked. After what I saw…after knowing how close that was to being you…"
"What happened, Kacey?"
"I saw…we saw…we saw what they were doing with the colonists." Kacey said, her voice shaking, "Miranda called me over and that's when we saw it. Even with us there, right there, we couldn't save them…"
…
"Shepard!" Miranda called, "You need to see this!"
"Holy shit…" Kacey trailed off as she looked around. She couldn't believe what she was seeing.
Millions of pods adorned the walls; their disgusting orange-ly glow painted across the walls like tealights. Kacey couldn't help but feel uneasy at the sight; there were far too many pods here. But the most unnerving thing wasn't the pods, but the massive, thick, wiry cables anchored across the ceiling. The technology looked a lot like Reaper tech, and the cables stretched for miles along the roof.
"Why is it when people say 'you've gotta see this', it's always something I don't wanna see?" Kacey sighed, shaking her head.
"Commander, look!" Jacob called, directing Kacey's attention to the line of pods nearby, "It's some of the missing colonists."
"And the crew." Garrus added.
Kacey approached one of the pods, wiping away some of the sludge on the glass of the pod. On the other side, she could see Kelly Chambers; she was out cold, unaware of anything going on beyond it. Kacey reached out and lightly touched the pod, knocking on it, hoping that it would wake Kelly up, but instead the pod began to release smoke, and Kelly jolted awake, a panicked look on her face.
"I will never forget what I saw; what happened to her. It was one of the most horrific things I had ever seen. And I was powerless to stop it."
"My God, she's still alive!" Kacey said shocked.
Kelly howled as she tried to break the glass, hitting both of her fists against it. Kacey attempted to pull the pod apart but it did not move. Liquid steeped from the top of the pod, making the already petrified Kelly howl and scream louder. Kacey kept pulling the side of the pod, using all of her strength to pry the pod apart but it wouldn't move. At that moment, Kelly wailed with a bloodcurdling scream as flecks of blood began to coat the inside of the glass. Kacey punched the glass hard but it didn't even crack. Blood covered Kelly's face and hands as she clawed at the glass slowly shrinking.
"HELP ME!" Kelly wailed as she shrank beneath the glass, "AAAAHHHH!"
Blood streaked upwards as she screamed, coating the entire pod on the inside. Kelly disappeared from view, her terrified screams turning into a gurgling noise as she choked on her own blood from within the pod. More petrified screams filled the air as colonists awoke from their daze, only for blood to soak them as they sunk out of view.
Kacey felt sick; dread and fear filled her as she addressed the rest of the team, determined to get her crew out of there "Get them out of there now!"
…
Silence filled the air as Kaidan tried to process what he had just heard. A part of him didn't want to believe it, but Kacey wasn't a liar. She was honest to a fault, and that honesty often tended to land her in trouble, particularly with her superiors. Even with that aside, the look on Kacey's face spoke volumes. She seemed more…distant than before. And now, Kaidan could understand why Kacey was so reluctant to talk about it, and why Garrus didn't mention it either.
"All the colonists were killed." Kacey replied, her voice stunted, emotionless, distant, "Every. Single. One. They were left in those pods, unconscious. Only waking up when the person inside…is…is…"
"Dead." Kaidan replied.
Kacey nodded, taking a deep breath as she tried to collect herself, her voice shaking, "They were grinded down into paste, into liquid. It was only when we got further into the base that we found out what they needed it for."
"Wait, they were turned into…liquid?" Kaidan asked, still trying to process the new influx of information, "How..? Why..? I don't…"
"You're not asking me anything I haven't asked myself, Kaidan." Kacey said, as Kaidan finished wrapping the bandage around her hand, "I don't think we'll ever know why or how. What I do know is…is that what they did to those colonists was harvesting them. What those colonists went through is what the Reapers are doing to anyone who doesn't die conventionally."
"That's what they're doing?"
"Yep." Kacey replied bluntly, "I can't stop thinking about what happened to Kelly…and those colonists. It was brutal, ruthless…and I couldn't stop it."
She looked at her bandaged hand, upset. Kaidan moved the first aid kit onto the table and scooched closer, trying his best to reassure her, "You did everything you could. You didn't know that was what they were doing."
"I should have though." Kacey replied, "After Saren…after what he turned into on the Citadel, I should've…I should've seen it coming."
"You're not psychic, Kacey. You can't predict everything." Kaidan responded reassuringly, "How the hell were you supposed to know that they were going to kill the colonists like that?"
"Well, when you say it like that, you make me sound like an idiot for thinking that way." Kacey said with a mirthless laugh, "It's hard to not feel responsible, you know? After seeing that vision from the beacon, I thought I could…"
"It's not your fault." Kaidan said, "You stopped the Collectors in the end, saving billions of lives."
"Yeah and it sure as shit wasn't easy." Kacey mused, "We managed to get everyone else out of there…Kelly was our only casualty. The squad and I agreed that the crew had to return to the Normandy; they could help Joker and EDI with the repairs. I sent Mordin with them, hoping he could keep everyone alive, not to mention he could repair the Normandy quickly. Once they left, we decided on the next part of the plan, and it was a dicey situation at best. The path we needed to take was filled to the brim with seeker swarms. Mordin's countermeasure wasn't able to protect us, so we needed a biotic to cover us. So I had to make another hard choice…"
…
"Samara, you and I will take a small team through the seeker swarms." Kacey replied, "The rest of you provide a diversion by going through the main passage. We'll open the security doors from the other side and meet you there. Garrus, will you be able to handle that?"
"I'll keep the defenders busy." Garrus replied, "You slip around the back."
"Okay, let's move out!" Kacey said as Samara set up the barrier, "Tali, Miranda you two are with me."
"We went through the door the moment Samara had put up the barrier; the room was infested by the seeker swarms. If we stepped out of the barrier for even a second, the result would be fatal."
Kacey kept her guard up as Samara moved forward, keeping the barrier up as husks and abominations swarmed them from all sides. It was hard to focus on the husks as the seeker swarms hovered all around them, bumping into the barrier. Even as the Collectors began to open fire on the trio, Samara did not falter; she kept the barrier in place regardless.
Kacey, however, found the limited space quite difficult to fight in. The husks would swarm her position in an instant, and there wasn't a lot of space to manoeuvre either. But that wasn't the only thing that plagued her mind; the swarm was interfering with radio contact. She had no idea how the rest of the squad was doing.
"The further along we went, the more exhausted Samara became. We had to move fast; she wasn't going to be able to hold out much longer."
"I will hold on…as long…as I can." Samara said through heavy breaths, "I can see the entrance. Need to…get there…soon."
"Samara, start running." Kacey said, "Guys let's go!"
The quartet ran down the path, blasting the husks to pieces as they did so. Samara started to slow as they reached the last few metres and Kacey gestured for Miranda and Tali to move quickly.
"Everyone get behind that door now!" Kacey shouted as Collectors flew in from all sides.
The group bolted behind the door; the moment Kacey reached the door, Samara turned and channelled her biotics to blast the Collectors and seekers away as the door closed in front of them. Kacey could barely catch her breath before Garrus' worried voice rang through the comms.
"...do you copy? Come on, Shepard?! Where are you?!"
"I copy." Kacey responded, "What's your position?"
"We're pinned down at the door!" Garrus replied, "Taking heavy fire!"
"We're coming! Just hold on!" Kacey said as she rushed towards the door, "Get this door open!"
Samara quickly opened the door as Kacey, Miranda and Tali positioned themselves to cover the team as they entered. As they door pulled apart, the chaos on the other side revealed itself as bullets and lasers flew across the air. Garrus and the team bolted through to the other side of the door, keeping the pressure up on the Collectors as Samara closed the door.
"Everyone okay?" Kacey asked as she took a deep breath. A mixture of yeses and nods from the team assured Kacey that all was well.
"Joker? Are you at the rendezvous point?" Kacey radioed.
"I'm here, Commander." Joker responded, "Chakwas and the rest of the crew just showed up."
"Professor Solus' group just arrived, Shepard. No casualties." EDI added.
"Perfect. Tell them to get started on the Normandy repairs." Kacey said, "So, what's next EDI?"
"There should be some nearby platforms that will take you to the main control console." EDI chimed, "From there, you can overload the system and destroy the base."
"Commander? You got a problem." Joker added, "Hostiles massing just outside the door. Won't be long until they bust through."
"We had come so close, so far. We had to stand our ground and hold the line."
Kacey hopped atop the platform, addressing the squad below, "A rearguard could defend this position and keep the Collectors from overwhelming us."
"So, who's going with you?" Miranda asked.
"Garrus and Tali." Kacey replied, "Are you two with me?"
"Of course." Tali said.
"We wouldn't miss this." Garrus added with a smirk.
"Anything to say before we do this?" Miranda asked.
Kacey nodded, taking a single step forward towards the edge, "The Collectors, the Reapers…they aren't a threat to us. They're a threat to everything—everyone. Those are the lives we're fighting for. That's the scale. It's been a long journey, and no one's coming out without scars. But it all comes down to this moment. We win or lose it all in the next few minutes. Make me proud. Make yourselves proud."
"You sound like an Admiral, Kacey." Kaidan mused.
"You think?" Kacey asked anxiously.
"Yeah, I do." Kaidan replied, "Not many people can inspire a team to go on a mission like that, much less hold the line against so many hostiles."
"I guess so." Kacey replied, "We left on the platform—Garrus, Tali and I—and we had to fight through some Collectors on the way. It wasn't anything we couldn't handle. I activated the platform to take us into the central chamber, where all the tubes carrying the colonists' genetic material was leading…"
"This is it. All tubes lead to this spot." Kacey said, "EDI, what can you tell us? What are they doing?"
"The tubes are feeding into some kind of superstructure." EDI explained, "It is emitting both organic and non-organic energy signatures. Given these readings, it must be massive. Shepard, if my calculations are correct, the superstructure is…a Reaper."
Kacey turned; in full view was the massive, hulking, incomplete human Reaper. It looked like a skeleton; the head, upper torso and arms were out, attached to the cables that contained the genetic material of the colonists. Only a small metallic tail remained beneath the wide torso as it hung lifeless in the air.
"It was horrifying. I don't think you ever really process what you have seen, what you know, until it is in front of your very eyes. This was a Reaper; this is what they are doing to us."
"What. The. Actual. Fuck?" Kacey replied, still trying to process the horrific sight in front of her.
"Well the Reapers sure have one sick sense of humour." Garrus replied bluntly, "I mean, that doesn't even look like the other Reapers."
"It appears the Collectors have processed tens of thousands of humans." EDI stated, "Significantly more will be required to complete the Reaper."
"This thing is an abomination." Kacey mused, disgusted, "EDI how do we destroy it?"
"The large tubes injecting the fluid are a weak structural link. Destroying them should cause the supports to collapse, and the Reaper to fall."
"Enemies incoming!" Tali shouted as several flying platforms approached the trio.
"Give us a minute, EDI. We've got some old friends to take care of." Kacey said as she dived behind cover.
"Wave after wave of Collectors arrived to stop us. They knew this was their last stand, as it was ours. We had to destroy that thing; no matter what."
Kacey fired a concussive shot, knocking two Collectors off the platform and into the abyss below. The trio were side by side, opening fire on the Collectors, relentlessly showering them with bullets. On the occasion that the tubes of genetic material revealed itself, Kacey quickly fired several bullets into the glass, smashing it and causing the supports to collapse.
The Collectors were clearly aware of what they were doing; their numbers kept increasing as each support fell. Tali's combat drone flew around as Kacey pulled out the one weapon that she was eager to try; the black hole gun. Mordin had given it an official name but the moment Kacey heard it generated a mini black hole she had lost interest in the official name and simply referred to it as the black hole gun. Using it was as effective as Kacey thought it would've been; it rounded up the Collectors and detonated them into oblivion.
Garrus took down another support; this had seemingly caught the attention of Harbinger, who appeared with the reinforcements. Kacey simply fired a black hole at it and let it do the work while she finally shot the last tube. The metallic husk collapsed as the supports snapped, and as Kacey glanced over the edge, she took a sigh of relief.
"Shepard to ground team. Status report." Kacey said through the comms.
"It's Thane." Thane replied as the sound of intense gunfire could be heard in the background, "We are holding, but they keep coming. A quick exit is preferable."
"Head to the Normandy." Kacey ordered, "Joker, prep the engines. I'm about to overload this place and blow it sky high."
"Roger that, Commander." Joker said before pausing for a minute, adding, "Uh, Commander? I've got an incoming call from the Illusive Man. EDI's patching it through now."
"Well, that doesn't sound suspicious at all." Garrus scoffed.
Tali pulled up the holographic interface; the Illusive Man stood, seemingly both pleased and smug as he addressed Kacey.
"Shepard. You've done the impossible." He said.
"Please. I'm just getting started." Kacey replied, refusing to look at the Cerberus leader, "Besides, a lot of people have died here. You might forget that, but I won't."
"I know." The Illusive Man said hollowly, "Their sacrifices will not be forgotten. You did what you had to do, and you acquired the Collector Base."
Kacey wheeled round, facing the Illuisve Man, a pissed off look etched on her face, "The fuck do you mean 'acquired'?"
"I'm looking at the schematics EDI uploaded." The Illusive Man continued, "A timed radiation pulse would kill the remaining Collectors, but leave the machinery and technology intact. This is our chance, Shepard. They were building a Reaper. That knowledge, that framework, could save us!"
"You know me; I'm stubborn as hell. I don't compromise on my ideals. That place was the deathbed of thousands of innocent people. It was a Reaper factory. It belonged in the hands of no one. No one should have access to something as horrific as that…to something so far beyond horrifying."
"They liquefied people!" Kacey snapped, "Turned them into something horrible. We have to destroy the base!"
"Don't be short-sighted." The Illusive Man responded, his tone harsh, "Our best chance against the Reapers is to turn their own resources against them. They were working directly with the Collectors. Who knows what information is buried there! This base is a gift! We can't just destroy it!"
"We can, and I will." Kacey replied firmly, "It doesn't matter what kind of technology we might find, it's not worth it."
"Shepard, you died fighting for what you believed in. I brought you back so you could keep fighting. Some would say what we did to you was going too far. But look at what you've accomplished. I didn't discard you because I knew your value. Don't be so quick to discard this facility. Think of its potential."
"I'm not some toy soldier for you to use and discard at your leisure." Kacey snapped back, defiant, "So unless you plan to drag your sorry ass through that relay to stop me, I'm nuking this place to the sky and back. We will fight and win without it. I won't let fear compromise who I am."
"Think about what's at stake!" The Illusive Man shouted, "About everything Cerberus has done for you! You—!" Tali cut the Cerberus leader off as Kacey finished up with the control mechanism.
"Let's move." Kacey said, "We've got ten minutes before the reactor overloads and blows this whole station apart."
The platforms began to shake as the Reaper larvae reappeared, firing its laser towards the trio. They avoided it with minimal effort as Kacey began to shoot at the machine. But it certainly didn't make it easy for them.
"Why can't it stay still?!" Kacey complained as her concussive shot missed.
"Because we aren't that lucky." Tali scoffed.
The angular movements the machine made was starting to piss Kacey off. She ended up unloading her bullets into the massive weak point on its chest as it was the only part of the thing that didn't move around 150 miles per hour. She kept darting around the platforms, narrowly avoiding lasers as she moved. By the time the trio managed to take down the infernal machine, their thermal clip count was alarmingly low.
As the larvae exploded, its arm landed on the platforms, causing them to tilt downwards. Garrus began to slide down as Tali and Kacey stood at the top in the clear. Without hesitation, Kacey dived forward, just barely catching Garrus' hand as he hung over the edge. The resulting explosion from beneath knocked the pair back onto platform as they all broke apart, spiralling out of control.
"The resulting crashes from the platforms knocked the three of us out. We were okay; a few cuts, scrapes and bruises, nothing major. Now all we had to do was get out alive."
"Commander? Do you copy?" Joker spoke down the comms, "Come on, Shepard, don't leave me hanging! Do you copy?"
"I'm here, Joker." Kacey said as she heard a sigh of relief from the other side, "Did the ground team make it?"
"All survivors on board. Just waiting on you three."
"Kacey!" Tali shouted as Kacey turned to see hundreds of seeker swarms flying towards them.
"Shit! Let's move!" Kacey shouted as the trio bolted down the corridor.
"Explosions were everywhere; the Collectors tried to stop us or at least slow us down. But they couldn't. When we reached the Normandy, Joker was outside the airlock, shooting Collectors as Garrus and Tali jumped over. I jumped; I would've missed the gap and fell to my death had Garrus and Tali not caught me. We bolted inside and Joker took control of the ship again, taking us back through the relay as the base exploded in a blaze of glory."
"We made it." Kacey said through deep breaths as they arrived on the other side of the Omega-4 Relay, "We fucking made it!"
"Keelah I…I can't believe it." Tali said in disbelief, sitting down on the floor of the CIC.
"Please tell me we are not doing that again." Garrus added.
"No promises." Kacey smirked as Garrus laughed, "You okay, Joker?"
"Yeah, I just…I can't believe we pulled that off." Joker replied.
"You should have a bit more faith in me, Joker." Kacey said teasingly.
"Yeah, yeah I know." Joker laughed.
…
"After that, I had one last call with the Illusive Man." Kacey continued, "He wasn't happy, but I told him where to shove his pretentious ass and cut him off. That was the last time we spoke until Mars."
"I see." Kaidan mused lost in thought, "I don't know what to say…hearing all of that…no wonder you're having nightmares."
"Yeah, it kinda starts to make sense when you put it like that." Kacey replied mirthlessly, "I can't stop thinking about what happened there. I keep asking myself what I could've done differently to save them. Knowing that they were turned into that…"
Kaidan covered his face with his hands; a feeling of regret swelled within him. He was aware of the attacks and, like the Alliance, dismissed them as pirate attacks. He couldn't believe how stupid he was, how stupid he felt.
"I should've known better." He blurted out. Kacey looked at him with a concerned look.
"What are you talking about?"
"I knew about the attacks back when they started." Kaidan explained, "It was a month or so after the Normandy was destroyed. The Alliance didn't seem bothered by it; I thought it was suspicious but…I don't know…I didn't think it was something like that."
"You couldn't have known." Kacey replied, "Hell, Cerberus didn't really have a clue when they sent me to Freedom's Progress. Nobody seemed to know what was going on."
"Yeah but…after Sovereign, I thought I'd be able to see the signs as clear as it was when Saren attacked." Kaidan added, "I like to think I would've known if Reapers were involved."
"The Reapers have always been good at hiding. Why would this be any different?" Kacey sighed.
Kaidan looked at Kacey, who continued to trace the outline of the bandages on her hand. A lot had fallen into place and it was clear why Kacey was being ruthless when it came to Cerberus. But the more he thought about it, the more it became clear that there was still another piece missing.
"You know, if you ask me, you did everything right." Kaidan said calmly. Kacey gave him a look of confusion, almost as if asking him to clarify, "You couldn't have rushed through that relay, not without taking massive casualties. You did exactly what a good leader would do, and you made sure your team was ready and focused."
"At the cost of the colonists."
"Some of those colonists were dead long before you came back, Kacey." Kaidan replied, "By the sound of things, casualties were inevitable."
"I know you're right. I know that." Kacey responded, "But it still doesn't make it easy. I mean, I watched someone get grinded up, blended up, into paste. Into a liquid. The thought of it makes me sick."
"I don't blame you. Hearing about it is hard enough but seeing it…"
Kacey leaned back on the sofa, looking up at the ceiling, "I had never felt more scared for someone in my life than I was in that moment."
"What do you mean?"
Kacey sighed, "I'm not easily scared; I've survived a hell of a lot, and for the longest time I thought I knew what Hell looked like. I wasn't scared for anyone on the squad, I had confidence that we'd make it out alive. But in that moment, I saw how close that came to being you. How close that could've been to any of us if I fucked up. If I made the wrong choice."
"It's not a numbers game anymore."
Kacey nodded, "Not anymore. That feeling of immeasurable pressure was a hard pill to swallow."
"Maybe you should share the burden." Kaidan said, "Because sometimes all you need is a shoulder."
Kacey let out a small laugh, "Maybe you're right, but I'm not sure if giving you more to worry about is a good thing."
"I'm more worried about you bottling things up than talking to me about this." Kaidan replied, "I don't mind being here if you want to talk."
Kacey remained quiet; lost in thought. Kaidan noticed a shift in her expression as she stood up and walked towards the fish tank, gazing absent-mindedly into the water.
"Kacey?"
She sighed, "Did you know why I was under house arrest on Earth?"
Kaidan was slightly taken aback by her question. He was curious, yes, but it was such a turn that he worried about the response.
"No." Kaidan replied, "It was very quiet. Not many knew you were there."
"It was because I–" She choked, taking in a sharp deep breath before continuing, "It was because I destroyed the Alpha Relay."
Kaidan couldn't believe his ears. He couldn't even register what had just come out of Kacey's mouth. Destroying a Mass Relay? No, that isn't possible. Mass Relays were indestructible. And yet, the look on Kacey's face said it all.
"What happened?" Kaidan asked.
"After I cut ties with Cerberus, Hackett called." Kacey said, arms crossed across her chest, "He asked me to go to Aratot, the batarian colony. He told me that his friend, Doctor Amanda Kenson was captured by the batarians and that she had found evidence of the Reapers. So I went in alone to rescue her, as Hackett ordered."
"You broke her out of there alone?"
Kacey nodded, "I told Garrus and Tali where I was going, they knew. Anyway, she told me on the shuttle that they had found a Reaper artefact they called 'Object Rho' and it told them that the Reapers were due to arrive in the Bahak system in four days."
"They were coming in four days?!"
"Yep. Obviously that didn't happen." Kacey continued, "She told me that they had devised a plan to launch an asteroid into the Alpha Relay and destroy it, delaying the Reapers. But once I got to the facility on the asteroid, something felt off. I found Object Rho, which was just out in the open."
"They were indoctrinated."
"Yeah. I held them off as much as I could, but they knocked me out. I was sedated for two days." Kacey explained, "I did eventually come to, and I had to fight my way to the asteroid controls, with less than forty-eight hours until they arrived. When I got to the controls, the machine told me that over three hundred thousand batarians were going to die if I didn't warn them. I tried to but the comms were cut off. I set the course and had to fight my way outside to the comm tower to signal the Normandy. That's when I spoke with Harbinger. It was the usual Sovereign talk we had heard before. Then we narrowly escaped on the Normandy with only a few minutes to spare, and the system was destroyed."
"Holy shit." Kaidan said, "So you being on Earth…"
"It was to stop a war with the batarians." Kacey replied, "I was in trouble, but not as much as you think."
"That explains a lot, actually." Kaidan mused.
"You're not mad?"
"No." Kaidan replied standing up, "it was a hard call. I know you, Kacey. You've never made a cold-hearted decision like that for no reason. Given the stakes, you saved trillions of billions of people at the cost of a few hundred thousand. Strategically, that makes sense. It was the only choice."
Kacey let out a cynical half-hearted laugh, "Ruthless calculus, huh?"
"In this war, it's the only one that works." Kaidan said.
"I guess." Kacey mused as Kaidan approached, standing next to her as they both gazed into the fish tank, "I get it; I know strategically it makes sense…but it doesn't feel right. I feel…like its my fault, you know? That I'm responsible for everyone dying like this."
"You can't control what people think. The Council, the Alliance…they didn't listen to you and now they're probably sitting there wishing they did." Kaidan replied, "You did as much as you could, all that was in your control. There isn't a single person out there that thinks you didn't do enough. Everyone knows you did what you could."
"Then why do I feel so fucking guilty?"
Kaidan looked at her, his gaze softening upon seeing Kacey, who was trying hard to contain her emotions, "Because you care."
Kacey covered her face with her hands, looking away, "I wish I didn't."
Kaidan pulled Kacey in for a hug as she finally let the walls containing her emotions fall away, shattering into thousands of pieces. He had never seen her break down like this.
"And now we're going to lose it all anyway." Kacey's muffled voice cracked as she buried her face into Kaidan's chest, "Cerberus has the data. And we don't know where to find them. Sanctuary is a start, but it'll take too long to track them."
"We'll find them." Kaidan said reassuringly, "We will find them, but now, let's get some rest and after, if you want, we can talk more, at your pace. How's that sound?"
Kaidan couldn't hear anything, but felt Kacey nodding as they walked over to the bed. She looked exhausted; something that Kaidan didn't find surprising given the circumstances. Kacey continued to cuddle into him as he did his best to comfort her. The silence remained in the air, yet Kaidan's mind was racing. Now that the truth was out, it was up to him to help her pick up the pieces.