Good evening, Dear Readers!
As I said, I often write on emotion, so it was important for me to write this chapter now.
Thank you for all your kind words, reviews and thoughts! It means a world to me.
Enjoy reading!:)
P.S. those who are waiting for the final chapter of "Half a step to..." I apologize for pushing it back a bit.
I own nothing in regard to GWTW.
Chapter 5.
Scarlett carefully braided her hair and looked at herself in the mirror in her bedroom at Aunt Pitty's house. Rhett was going to come today for the first time since he'd helped them leave the besieged city on a hot September night. He still hadn't crossed the threshold of this house, but yesterday he'd sent a note saying he'd be sure to come to see Wade and discuss with her something work-related. It was that fact that had proved crucial to her elderly aunt, who'd been clucking and fidgeting like a chicken since morning.
At first Aunt Pitty wanted to run away to the Meades, then she thought she had a migraine, which, by the way, quickly went away when Scarlett told her that Rhett was not "the devil in the flesh", but just wanted to drop in on her for work. "Apparently there are urgent orders that need counting, otherwise why would he come?" she asked herself. Scarlett had somehow quickly forgotten that Wade might have been the object of Rhett's attention as well.
"Auntie," she reassured the old lady, "he'll just come in for about twenty minutes, we'll get everything done and he'll leave. Please, we don't want any rumours that I was the only one to receive him in our house."
Aunt Pitty, only sighed, but finally gathered all her courage into a fist and announced, "Of course Scarlett, I won't let anyone speak badly of you, you are my niece. I'm not afraid of that Butler!"
And a couple of hours later, as dinner time approached, the same Aunt Pitty was standing in the parlour, smiling, accepting from Rhett a box of chocolates tied with a blue ribbon, as in those old days.
"Oh, Captain Butler, you really shouldn't have," Aunt Pitty said, smiling cheerfully, her eyes lighting up like a child, who had found a present under the Christmas tree.
Rhett only smiled slyly, dressed in his woollen grey suit, he looked as perfect as ever! Of course Aunt Pitty forgot all her speeches and immediately invited the guest to dinner.
"We can look at all the bills now, before dinner, Rhett," Scarlett told him quietly, as he untied his warm scarf and slipped it neatly over the back of his chair.
Rhett only smiled, flashed his eyes, and spoke softly, "Are you so uncomfortable with my company, Mrs Hamilton?"
"I see you every day as it is, Rhett Butler!" she muttered grumpily, and suddenly laughed.
In fact, they saw each other every day, fought over every little thing, but Rhett was the one who was easy to talk to, their conversations, when he drove her to work during those two weeks, were always light. Rhett could always make her laugh. Unbidden, he'd learnt about everything that had happened to them over the years in Tara and his heart ached from her stories.
There were several things Scarlett hadn't told him, including the murder of the Yankee deserter and how she never understood or forgave him for leaving her on the road. But, she pushed those thoughts to the very back of her mind and decided to deal with it later.
Rhett was easy to be with, he could even be called her friend.
Rhett looked at her with interest, at her smile, and it seemed to him that he was on the right way, that they were becoming closer every day, despite her stubborn nature. Truth be told, he loved to make her angry, to watch her cheeks blush, her green eyes glow with warlike fire, her eyebrows furrow. She couldn't imagine how hard it was for him to keep from throwing away the reins or the papers and instead draw her to him for a passionate kiss. She evoked in him such a mixture of feelings from tenderness to passion that his heart burst out of his chest every time. He hadn't thought he could have such feelings...
"May I ask the reason for your sudden cheerfulness, Scarlett?" asked Rhett with interest, looking at her intently.
"Oh, come on, Rhett, I don't have to tell you all my thoughts!" she waved him away, turned away, and was about to head for the kitchen to check on dinner, but suddenly she felt the touch of his hand on her shoulder and the quiet insistence of his voice, "I'll find out anyway..."
"Get off, you obnoxious man!" she said, turning to him and quickly changing the subject, "I believe you wanted to see, Wade? He's still awake, but he'll have dinner in his room, as he's still a little ill. If you want, you can go up to him..." finished Scarlett uncertainly in her speech.
Rhett continued to stare at her, which made her feel stuffy and breathless again, and there was nothing to shield her from his gaze. No bills, no papers in her hands, no reins.
"Yes, Scarlett," he answered suddenly calmly, "I'll be glad to go up to see him, for that's the reason I came to see you today. He's better now, isn't he?" asked Rhett, and she saw in his gesture some uncertainty and concern again.
"Yes, Rhett," she answered and gestured toward the stairs to escort him upstairs. "It's just a cold, although I don't like it when children get sick, but this time it went easy," she reasoned as she walked up the stairs. Rhett followed her, watching as she barely touched the wooden railing with her slender fingers.
"When was it not easy?" he asked her when they reached the second floor landing.
"I'm sorry?" she asked perplexed, adjusting the collar of her light-coloured house dress. He could see she was nervous.
"You said, Scarlett, that it was easy this time, about Wade's cold," he began to explain patiently, not taking his gaze from her eyes, "and when was it not easy?"
"In November," she replied shortly and turned away to walk him out and finish the conversation.
Rhett realized that she shared a lot of things with him, but she kept particularly important, painful memories to herself. "We'll talk later," he thought to himself and, smiling, followed Scarlett into her son's room.
Wade sat with Prissy at the small dressing table, where Scarlett usually brushed her hair, and drew something with a pencil on a piece of paper.
Scarlett quietly opened the door and said, "Wade, son, look who's come to see you..."
Wade looked up and smiled, when he saw a large tall figure in the doorway, next to the small and thin figure of his mother.
"Uncle Rhett," he exclaimed cheerfully and walked uncertainly towards Rhett, who, on the contrary, shorted the distance between them in two steps and saying, "Hello, big boy," took him gently in his arms.
"How are you feeling, Wade?" asked Rhett, holding the boy in his arms.
"Rhett, he's a big boy, can you not..." started Scarlett, but he just smiled at her and said, "We're fine, Scarlett."
Wade and Rhett walked over to the chair, sat down and the boy started talking vigorously about something, then reached across the table for the drawing and held it out to Rhett.
Watching them, Scarlett was amazed at how easily Rhett interacted with the children, how easily he did things that required a great deal of patience on her part.
"I'll go to the kitchen for some warm milk for you then, Wade," Scarlett said and a stern note flashed in her tone and Wade whimpered.
"I don't want milk mummy, my throat doesn't hurt anymore... Well mummy..."
"Wade Hampton," she began impatiently, and Rhett watched them with a soft smile.
"Son," Rhett addressed Wade affectionately and caught two looks at him, pleased and surprised, but ignored both and continued smiling, "I didn't like drinking milk when I was a child either, but I did it for my mother. So as not to upset her, Wade. You love your mother, she cares about you and wants to see you healthy," Rhett finished his speech and Wade sighed doomedly and said, "Okay, Mummy, I'll drink the milk."
Scarlett smiled, quickly stroked her son's hair, gave Rhett a suspicious glance, and walked out into the kitchen, leaving them alone.
Warming milk in the kitchen, Scarlett noticed that dinner was almost ready. She thought about how Rhett had called Wade "son." Clearly he called him that out of politeness, but her son might have become attached to this man without his father's attention, Wade was very susceptible to male attention. "In a week, a month or three, that varmint will be away again and Wade will be upset," Scarlett thought as she climbed the stairs back, "I'll tell Rhett not to tie my son to him."
Walking into the room, she saw Wade already in bed and Rhett sitting on the edge of the bed, telling him something quietly. Both smiled at her and Scarlett handed her son a glass of milk and turned to Rhett at the same time, "Rhett, dinner is almost ready, Aunt Pitty is waiting for you in the dining room and I'll be joining you soon too."
He smiled, stood up, stroked Wade's hair affectionately, wishing him a speedy recovery and quickly left the room.
After waiting for Wade to drink the warm milk and saying good night, she left Prissy with him and went out the room, closing the door behind her. While Wade was sick, she let him sleep in her room instead of the small guest bedroom that served as a nursery.
At dinner, Rhett was gallant as always, making Aunt Pitty laugh with various stories and acting as if he dined with them every night.
Scarlett, on the other hand, felt nervous again when she realized that they would be alone with the bills after dinner and tried to delay the moment. "Really, it's not like he's going to do anything here at my aunt's house," she reassured herself and frowned. As soon as she relaxed, the memories of the deal would appear in front of her again.
At last, after drinking her tea, Aunt Pitty yawned and instructing them not to linger too long and "not to bore my dear niece with your numbers, Captain Butler," she wished them a good evening and went up to her room. Scarlett and Rhett remained in the parlour, with the doors open, but she still felt uncomfortable and sat on the couch, constantly adjusting her dress or clutching her hands.
Rhett, on the other hand, was sitting on an armchair and calmly smoking a cigar.
"Rhett, let's quickly count everything and I'll go rest too," she told him timidly. Rhett smiled, then suddenly put out his cigar, got up from his chair and sat down on the couch beside her.
He pulled papers from the inside pocket of his jacket, which he had removed beforehand, remaining in just his waistcoat and shirt. The room was well heated, a fireplace burning.
Scarlett had her pencil ready while he unfolded the papers, and then she caught a glimpse of Wade's drawing among them and looked at Rhett questioningly.
"Wade gave it to me while you were in the kitchen," he explained to her quietly.
Scarlett nodded and leaned over the numbers. As she counted, Rhett watched her carefully as she stared intently at the paper, as she moved her pencil along the columns of numbers, as her lips quietly mouthed the various figures. His gaze slid lower, to the modest neckline of her homemade dress and...
"Rhett, look right here, please," she called to him and pointed to the smudged pencil. He moved closer to her, bowed his head and smelled the scent of her hair and skin, the faint scent of lemon verbena. He felt hot, and to distract himself, he straightened, cleared his throat, and only said, "I'll check it with Tom tomorrow, no big deal."
She nodded and only said uncertainly, "I think we're done..."
He suddenly asked her abruptly, "What happened in November, Scarlett? Tell me."
She realized he was going back to the conversation on the stairs that she had interrupted and looked him in the eye, saying, "I don't want to talk about it, Rhett."
"Why?"
She looked at him intently and said irritably, "Because remembering how your son almost died of pneumonia, how you were willing to sell your soul to anyone for medicine, remembering that is impossibly painful, do you understand, Rhett?"
When she said that, she stood up, clenched her hands into fists, and stepped back to the fireplace so she could look at the fire and he couldn't see her moment of weakness.
Rhett stood up quietly, walked over to her, and with one hand on her shoulder, whispered, "I'm sorry, Scarlett."
She only nodded and tensed at his proximity...
"Rhett," she began uncertainly, afraid to turn her head towards him, but he understood without words. The damn deal hung between them again.
"Scarlett," he spoke suddenly serious and businesslike and she turned sharply at the change in his tone.
"Yes?"
"Come over here to the papers, go on," he said and she hesitantly followed him to the table in front of the couch.
"Sit down and listen to me carefully. Or rather no, wait," he said suddenly and sitting down beside her, took a pencil, a sheet of Wade's drawing and began to write something quickly on the back of it. Scarlett noted for a moment that her son had drawn a house and two little men, one taller and one shorter, apparently it was them and...
"Here, read it, Scarlett!" said Rhett seriously and smiled slightly.
She took the sheet incredulously and read the following lines, "I, Rhett Butler, undertake to fix a time and place for our deal with Mrs Hamilton and to give her advance notice."
Next was his sprawling signature.
Scarlett looked at him perplexed and he only replied with indifference, "I'm sick of seeing you quiver like a cowardly hare when we are together. I didn't realize you were such a coward, Scarlett!"
Her eyes flashed and she only hissed, "Don't you dare call me a 'coward', Rhett Butler!"
"Then how do you explain your behaviour, eh?"
Scarlett realized he had guessed everything and only told him with annoyance, "You don't! That's enough! You come to me and insult me again! Do you even know how to communicate normally, you, arrogant... Hm... Arrogant turkey, that's what you are, Rhett Butler!" she finished with a chuckle.
Rhett laughed, the situation defused, and she sat back and glared belligerently at him.
"I'll put these insults down to your fatigue, Mrs Hamilton," he said, smiling and added gravely, "it's just that I've decided to be clear, Scarlett. Will you sign?"
She looked at the paper, then suddenly added seriously, "I will if you add one more thing."
Rhett looked at her with interest and asked, "And what is that?"
"That you'll never, ever tell anyone about our... Our deal, Rhett."
He looked at her and tried to joke, "You know, Honey, I'm not exactly flattered to go around telling everyone, that a woman agreed to sleep with me just because of..."
"Shut up, Rhett!"
He snorted, but then suddenly picked up his pencil and added the phrase, "I agree not to disclose the terms of the deal to anyone, ever."
Finished writing, he handed her the pencil, and Scarlett looked at it intently, took it and signed her name next to his.
Rhett smirked, taking the piece of paper and folding it up, tucking it into his jacket pocket with the other papers.
And indeed, from that day on, Scarlett thought less about their deal, reassured that he would warn her of everything in advance.
January ended and February also passed quietly, they worked together, Rhett saw her almost every day, they talked a lot and argued a lot. He also drove her to frenzy with his jokes and received insults in return, but they also quickly reconciled.
Spring and early March were approaching, as well as Suellen and Frank Kennedy's wedding. Every weekend Scarlett travelled to Tara, where they talked and discussed the details of the future event, though, God knows, she wasn't interested. "But, soon I won't have to support her," Scarlett encouraged herself and tried to engage in conversation and stay awake, watching her sister was like a silly, chirping bird.
Sleep problems persisted, nightmares or strange dreams of a different nature were almost a daily occurrence, and Scarlett realized that it was taking up a lot of her energy.
One day at the sawmill, when Tom had left for a client's site and the workers had finished early that day, Scarlett sat at her numbers, frowning and yawning. She'd woken up from a nightmare the night before, but she couldn't fall back asleep.
Occasionally lifting her head from the numbers, she watched a ray of sunlight slip down the opposite wooden wall, and outside the window she could hear the wind swaying the branches.
"Scarlett," Rhett called to her, entering the office with a sheet in his hand, "let's do the math here and..." he looked up from the bill and saw her. Quietly, placing her hands under her head on the wooden desk, she was asleep. Her breathing was barely audible, the piece of paper and pencil were under one of her palms.
Rhett quieted immediately and walked quietly over to the table, standing behind her, a wave of tenderness flooding his heart, he himself barely breathing.
Now, in the silence of the office, he could look at her in peace. Her snow-white skin, her hair bunched up, but a few strands were out of place and curling around her neck. The freckles he'd wanted to kiss so badly were gone, but he didn't care. He wanted to kiss her, first gently touching his lips to her soft hair, then down to her neck and breathe in the subtle scent of her skin, then lower... Rhett closed his eyes for a moment, reached his hand and lightly touched her hair with his fingers. Scarlett shuddered and raised her head sharply, opening sleepy eyes, feeling someone standing behind her.
She looked back and saw the black eyes, and for a moment she saw in them the warmth he'd given her son when he spoke with him. It was a look of care, of tenderness, and Scarlett didn't know what to say except, "I'm sorry... I'm sorry, Rhett, I think I fell asleep."
He didn't know what came over him, but he suddenly put the papers down on the table and without a word lifted her from the chair and put his arms around her shoulders, pulling her against his chest. Scarlett forgot how to breathe from the excitement and warmth he surrounded her with. She suddenly pressed herself against him and hugged him back, putting her arms around his waist. They stood like that in silence, he stroked her back, closed his eyes and inhaled her scent. He knew he was almost lost. She would realize everything now and he was terrified.
Scarlett thought she was asleep, why else would he be acting like this? He's stroking her so gently, and his heart is pounding so... "Why would he do that?" she thought and then she tensed up and he felt it and pulled away.
They looked into each other's eyes, Scarlett swallowed and said quietly, forgetten about their signed paper, "Rhett... You... You want to now... I mean... A deal..." she suddenly became very embarrassed, her cheeks turned red and she lowered her eyes.
Rhett mentally thancked heaven, suddenly grinned and took a step back from her with the words, "Sweetheart, you're certainly very charming, but you're very tired, I can tell. I'm not some monster to force you to..." He hesitated and she raised her eyes and looked at him. Silence hung between them again, Rhett wanted to shout, "I love you! How can't you see that!" but all he said was, "Come on, I'll take you home Scarlett, you're tired, we'll finish this tomorrow."
She wanted to say to him, "Why can't you always be like this? Because I hate fighting with you so much... It hurts me..." but she only said in a quiet voice, "Thank you, Rhett."