Kairi waited with the others inside the Land of Departure's castle - giving Skuld and her newly returned friend their time alone.
They'd all moved inside, up to the throne room.
Riku still seemed to be taking the whole Xehanort thing pretty hard. He was slumped down in one of the thrones themselves. Terra was standing beside him, a hand on his shoulder.
Kairi was having her own little crisis about it, as well, to be honest. But...for different reasons.
What little she'd gotten to see of the woman - Amaya - what brief words they'd exchanged already...had shown the woman to be empathetic and kind. A decent person. A good friend, at least. And she'd been nothing but friendly to the rest of them, in their brief exchange of introductions...
But that was the problem.
How could a seemingly good, empathetic, kind woman like her...be responsible for raising someone like Xehanort?
Obviously Kairi knew that sometimes children just turned out - bad - different from their parents, at least. Riku was proof of that. But...
It was just this huge disconnect in her mind that she couldn't find a way past, even if she knew it logically, intellectually.
And if this woman was truly so good and kind...what was she going to think when she learned about Xehanort, herself?
Kairi had seen some of how Riku's parents treated him over the past few months. Mostly, they just seemed to blame themselves, and wanted to help him do better. Be better.
But this woman, this Amaya...Xehanort was so much worse. Would it break her Heart? Would she even believe it?
Could anyone blame her, if she didn't - couldn't?
Kairi's thoughts went to Aimi, and to her recollections of a boy with silver hair and eyes. That warmth and fondness in her eyes...the smile on her old face...
And yet Xehanort had come back, decades later, and used Riku to sink those islands into darkness. To just...wipe them all away. To have the Heartless invade it.
She knew why Riku had done it - she knew he hadn't really known what would happen. He'd just been told that opening that door would let him reach other worlds. Embracing darkness would give him strength to travel beyond the confines of his islands.
But Xehanort...
What were his reasons? How could he destroy his own home, knowingly? Had he even spared a single moment, a single thought, a shred of emotion, for people like Aimi that he'd long left behind? Did he even remember them...?
"You guys know we're going to have to figure out how to break the news to her about Xehanort," Luxu spoke, quiet.
The same thoughts Kairi had been having, dared to be said out loud.
"It can wait," Aqua said instantly, throwing a glare at Luxu.
"Wait too long, and it'll just be more painful," Luxu replied calmly. "Not to mention it might make her feel angry or distrustful toward us for keeping something like that from her for longer than-"
"You're not a part of this discussion," Aqua bit out.
"I'm more a part of it than any of you, actually," Luxu responded. "She's from my era - she's one of the kids I failed to save."
Aqua gazed at him, cold and intense.
Luxu stared back at her, his expression unassuming - supposedly, honest.
Aqua looked away, her lips twisting into a frown.
"You should be the one to do it, then," Terra spoke up. "As you said: she's from your time, not ours - you know more about that world than any of us do. And you know Xehanort better than us, as well. I trust you'll have enough tact to do this...carefully. As much as anyone could, at any rate."
"Hey, I take full responsibility for it."
"Good," Terra said shortly.
Luxu glanced away, running his fingers through his hair. "Dammit..." he swore under his breath. "At least I'm also the one she's going to have the most trouble trying to kill if this goes south..."
"Should we be heading home now?" Sora said, looking to Kairi.
Kairi sighed. "Sure..."
"Kairi..." Aqua's voice, hesitant and quiet. She came striding over to her, stopping before her.
"What?" Kairi said.
Aqua bent down awkwardly, and pulled her into a hug.
Kairi startled. She hugged the woman back, briefly, before letting go.
"Sorry - was that too much?" Aqua said, suddenly flustered and uncertain.
Kairi smiled up at her. "It was fine - thanks. I think I needed-"
She stopped talking, as she heard the echoing creak of the front doors opening, down below.
The clacking of footsteps, and the voices drifting up from the hallway beneath the throne room.
Two voices, echoing, but indistinct.
A minute later, and Skuld and Amaya came up the stairs into the throne room. They walked the length of it to join them all at the front of the chamber. Kairi noted that the two women were holding hands (not that it probably maybe meant anything - and even if it did, it wasn't any of her business).
Luxu took a big breath before stepping forward. He raised his hands to the two women, palms up. "Hey...How's the catching up going?" he said, slow and careful. "How much has Skuld...filled you in on so far? If she has?"
Skuld met Luxu's gaze, her amber eyes glinting. Then she dropped her head. "She already knew about Ephemer. I told her about Brain, and Ven and the others. She knew about the trouble in the worlds lately - the Heartless, Nobodies, Maleficent. The world she's been living on...it was one that fell. One that you brought back, after closing that Door To Darkness," she concluded, with a small smile. "And I told her who you are - and that you were the reason we all made it out of Daybreak Town that day. How you made the Ark work, how you saved Brain. How you've been looking after me, for the past ten years. How you've looked out for all of us."
"Alright, well you probably painted a rosier picture of me than I'd like, but what can you do?" Luxu murmured. He shook his head. "And did you tell her about...who else was responsible for a lot of this stuff?" he went on. "You know - Xemnas, err, Ansem...The guy from Radiant Garden, a decade ago..."
"No," Skuld said quietly, shaking her head. "We've already had a- a bit of a fight over...Data Daybreak Town. She wasn't taken by the Darkness: she lied to us, to me and Ephemer. She tricked us, to trick the Darkness. She forced us to fight her, forced Ephemer to send her away - and the Darknesses, too. She sacrificed herself to lock them away...to give us the chance to escape..."
Kairi could read the unsaid, in Skuld's explanation: No matter how it would make us feel - no matter that we'd have to live with thinking we'd lost you in the worst way, for the rest of our lives...
She could see the shame and guilt on the other woman's face - Amaya's. Either she really hadn't thought it through (that would be a Sora move), or she had and she'd done it anyways...
"I knew about that part," Luxu admitted.
"WHAT?" Skuld gasped.
"That was how Namine found out about her in the first place - I just didn't give it a thought until now," Luxu went on quickly. "She traced your Heart months ago, and found a path that led to Amaya's memories. She showed them to me, showed me...her whole gambit. Her sacrifice. And I swear to god, I was going to tell you about it within the next hour or so, if she hadn't told you first. That was part of the whole impetus for my- change of Heart recently."
Skuld gazed at him for a long moment. Then she nodded. "I believe you. Thank you." She looked to Namine. "And thank you, for finding her for me in the first place. For reuniting us..."
"Sure," Namine beamed. "I was happy to help."
"Alright, so we all have a lot of questions for each other," Luxu said, gazing at Amaya. "I'd like to ask a few of those, myself, if you wouldn't mind - at a later time," he addressed her, not unkindly.
Amaya nodded back. "I'll answer what I can - but most of the story I can tell you...isn't one even I understand all too well. I have theories, speculations, but nothing concrete. It's also...extraordinarily long and convoluted."
"So is mine," Luxu replied. "I bet I have you beat, there."
"So I've heard," Amaya said, nodding again. "I also heard that the other Masters are here, too. They were...brought here, similar to the way Skuld and the others escaped the end of the World?"
"That's right," Luxu confirmed. "If you want a crack at them over the whole war thing-"
"I'll make do with strong words," Amaya interrupted. "I've been down the road of revenge before...it isn't one I'm interested in revisiting. I know where it leads."
"Fair enough."
"So, who is it I'm supposed to be learning about? The cause of the worlds falling? The cause of darkness, and the Heartless in this era?" Amaya questioned. "There's a person responsible for it all - someone other than Maleficent?"
"Yes..." Luxu spoke, very, very quiet and cautious now. He stepped forward, casual. But Kairi saw his fingers curl at his side, briefly. "Listen, I- first I want to ask you about...Xehanort."
"Xehanort?" Amaya breathed, her face just- lighting up. With- with incredulity and shock, that morphed into purest joy, and wonder, and then there was hope and pride and LOVE- "He's still alive? Is he here? You've met him? All of you...?" She broke from Skuld, starting forward, her gaze sweeping over them all. "He must be grown up by now. Is he on a mission? Who are his friends? Did he ever marry - have children?"
There was silence in the hall.
Everyone did various versions of refusing to meet the woman's eyes.
It was so much more horrible, Kairi thought, than whatever grief or rage or disbelief that would follow. To see such a look on the woman's face, because of the mere mention of Xehanort. The look of...of a parent on hearing of her child...
Whatever Xehanort was now, however he'd become what he was now, Kairi knew in that moment that it wasn't what he had always been.
It was all over Amaya's face - no one could have ever doubted it.
Which was just going to make this all the more terrible...
To learn that the boy this woman was probably thinking of him as...was not at all the man he was now...
Luxu breathed again. In and out. He curled his fist again, taking another step forward. "Amaya, look, about Xehanort...there are some things you should know."
Amaya looked at him. She looked at the rest of them again. She looked back at Skuld, who was looking down at her boots. "He's gone, isn't he? I've missed him...it's too late..." she whispered.
Luxu winced, visibly and unrestrained, his head jerking aside. "No. No, he's still - alive. But...look, he went through some shit when he was younger, and he met somebody who...there were things that shaped his life, changed him. I should probably try to sugar coat this, but I'm not sure how the hell I can, so - I'm sorry - and you can punch me or try to stab me for it in a second here, but the man Xehanort is today...he's not a good dude. In fact, he's- probably one of the worst the World's seen across its long history."
"...W-what...?"
"Everyone in this room right now - literally - has suffered in some way at his hands," Luxu spoke on. He really had just decided to rip the bandaid off, then. "Or the hands of his Heartless, or his Nobody - whichever. Sometimes both. He's broken, and dangerous, and obsessive. He's become a cruel, manipulative person. He tricks, lies, uses, and discards others like candy wrappers. He kills, steals bodies for his own, even-" He glanced at Kairi with apology. "-even goes after children. I don't honestly think he even has any limits anymore. There's no honor, no ethics, no morality. There's just-"
"Stop." Amaya's voice came again. It wasn't shouted, wasn't angry, wasn't sad. It was just...tired? It was quiet, and tired.
"I'm sorry. I really am. I-"
Amaya moved in a sudden blur of motion, leaving a trail of purple energy. A light burst in her hand, and she had a Keyblade in her grasp. A Keyblade she had shoved under Luxu's chin before Kairi could even blink. The end of the blade was pressing into Luxu's throat.
Even Luxu's face showed what could only be genuine surprise at being caught off guard like that.
Luxu shut his eyes, reigning it all in, in a second's time. He opened them again, looking Amaya in the face. Looking down the length of her weapon. "I know, I know..." he said softly, holding his arms up, his tone one of comfort - of soothing. "There it is...You want to kill me - and honestly, you have a way better shot at that than I would have ever thought, with how you just pulled that move off against me..."
Amaya gazed back at him, her expression breaking. Twisting. She blinked rapidly, and tears fell down her cheeks. She sucked in a breath, and let it go through shaking lips. "Tell me- tell me why," she demanded, choked. "Tell me how."
"I'm as much responsible for it as anyone. More so, really," Luxu said. "When he was a teenager, some shit went down involving a True Darkness - a Willful Darkness - and it got into a Keyblade wielder's school, in Scala Ad Caelum, and slaughtered every last one of his friends and comrades. In the end, he struck that Darkness down - along with its host. Obviously it was horrific, and traumatic, and it had a long-lasting effect on him. An effect that snowballed over the next decades of his life...until we come to now."
Amaya's arm fell, and her weapon with it. Her head dropped. "I failed, then...I failed him...failed his mother...I promised her- I gave her my word that I'd- and they found him anyways...?"
"You didn't fail. It's not like you were there at the time. Not like I was," Luxu said gently. "I could have stopped it all, saved those kids - but I didn't. I just...watched. As my role dictated." He hesitated. "What do you mean, 'they found him anyways?'"
"In the world of Scala Ad Caelum, there was a prophecy-"
"The Child of Destiny?" Luxu said. "I heard that one."
"It was thought that Xehanort was to be that child," Amaya whispered. "The Darkness learned about this, and we fought them. Trapped them. But we knew they would find a way out again. So it was decided that Xehanort would be taken to another world, to be kept safe, hidden. To be cared for, and in time, taught and trained. But, when he was fourteen, the Darkness did find us again. A single Darkness. So I did what I had before, and tricked it - sacrificed myself for him. I died, and I took the Darkness with me."
"You...can't have," Luxu said, staring at her. "If you're here, then obviously you didn't. Not fully. And even if you had, and you came back - you realize that that Darkness is still inside of your Heart, don't you?" he went on, an edge coming to his voice now.
"I did - and the Darkness isn't with me anymore. There's darkness in my Heart, born of grief, and sorrow, and longing, and many other powerful emotions...but not True Darkness." Amaya raised her head. "I've died twice before. Each time, I came back at the age I died originally, and lived on from there, with little to no memories of my past lives. But, over time, I've regained many of them."
"Okay..." Luxu said, in a I'm-totally-humoring-you tone. "Look, this is all a lot, I know, and I'm sorry - again. Why don't you...get some rest or something? Or-"
"No. I'm going to find Xehanort." Amaya, her face determined, turned on a heel and started off across the hall.
"What? Nooo, no, no - that's the worst thing you could possibly try to do!" Luxu said, hurrying after her. "If you think you're going to talk the guy down or something, forget it! He struck down his best friend before; he's not going to have any compunctions about cutting you down, too, if he thinks it's necessary. There's no special place in his Heart, even for those he used to love and care for. He won't hesitate."
"Then I'll die once again," Amaya said, not looking back - not stopping. "But not before I make him listen to me first. Maybe that will be enough..."
"I get it - I get the optimism, the hope - I get that you literally raised this guy-"
"He was the closest thing to a son that I've ever had in any of my lifetimes!" Amaya said, suddenly stopping and whirling back on Luxu. "And I failed to protect him. I failed to keep my promise to his mother. And now, if any of this is true, what he's become...now the whole World is paying for it? For my failure?"
"I get that!" Luxu said firmly, almost pleading now. "But if you run off and try to find him - if you do find him - you're as good as dead. Or worse: he'll torture you and rip your Heart apart to try to learn all he can about the Keyblade War. He's obsessed with it, for reasons I don't even know. Probably trying to understand the Darkness thing, trying to make some kind of sense of his tragedy. Hell if I know."
"If all of this is because I wasn't there for him before, then I'm going to be there for him now," Amaya insisted.
"It's too late for that - for him. A mommy's love and a hug isn't going to fix him!" Luxu growled out, frustration in his voice.
"Who are you to decide that?" Amaya hissed. "I'm the one in the best position to be the judge of that. I know him best."
"You knew him best. You knew him as as a child. You don't know him as a man."
"I'm not debating this with you or anyone else. I'm leaving, and you are not going to stop me."
"I could."
"You could try," Amaya refuted, her dark eyes narrowing at him. Burning. "I have over a century of experience with my Keyblade and with magic. Plus the extra from my first life, and from this life."
"Impressive," Luxu said honestly. "That puts you in my weight class. In Xehanort's, too."
"Then you have nothing to worry about."
"I have plenty to worry about. You're the kid I failed."
"Then you should understand why I have to do this."
"I do. Doesn't mean I like it."
"You don't have to. Just don't stop me - Master Luxu. It won't end well for you - not when I have all these feelings in my Heart right now."
Luxu watched her for a long moment. His hand curled at his side again...he shifted his stance...
Amaya shifted hers, her eyes meeting his.
Luxu relaxed again, and stepped away. He raised his hands up to her. "Amaya...please...listen to me on this. Do you really want to put Skuld through this grief and misery all over again, right after she just got you back?"
Amaya's eyes flickered. She didn't move.
"If you really want to do this, I won't stop you," Luxu spoke on, his voice hoarse now. "But if you really want to find Xehanort...do you think you're going to have any success just wandering from world to world out there, on your own? All of us here have a history with him - a bad history - but history nonetheless. So if you want to find him again, you'd honestly do better to just stay with us...and he's probably bound to come to you instead. Especially once he learns you're still around. He'll want to know how...He'll want to see you. But if you just go out there and walk up to him somewhere, he'll probably think it's a trick - part of some plan laid by me. Please: if you're going to do this, at least do it smart, not emotional."
"Even now, looking after two kids myself, I can't pretend to understand what you're feeling - I can't imagine what you're going through in your Heart here," Luxu continued. "I can't imagine...the pain, and the confusion, and the fear, and the rage, and the grief. Just taking one look at your face, and you know what I realize? I've never loved anybody as much as I can tell you love him. And I've never felt the kind of betrayal, at that love being betrayed, as you are now. But you can't let that hurt...make you hurt others the same way. Intentionally or otherwise. If you want a chance to do this right...stay. Settle into it. Think it through. And then act, when the time comes. When the time comes to...express what's in your Heart."
Amaya's shoulders fell. She let out a shaking breath, and gave a nod. "Okay...you're right..."
"Thank you," Luxu said. "Besides...if you'd left like this, you would have missed out on meeting someone else - someone who knew him as the boy you did." He turned, gazing back across the hall. His expression in that moment was strange, and Kairi couldn't tell who exactly he was looking at, among them...but then it was gone.
"Who?" Amaya asked.
"He's not here yet," Luxu replied. "But he should be, soon enough, if I'm right."
Amaya just nodded again. She strode back toward them all - going up to Skuld. "I'm sorry..."
"It's alright..."
"I'm sorry for whatever he did to you," Amaya finished. She looked around at them all, her expression one of anguish, and shame. "All of you. I'm sorry..."
Kairi shook her head, holding a hand to her Heart. "You don't have anything to apologize for," she said softly. It's him that does. Not that I think that man ever would. Not that I'd ever even accept it if he tried. But...
Amaya seemed to see the unspoken part of her reply on Kairi's face anyways. Almost like she'd heard Kairi's thoughts. "If I had been here, if I had stayed...things might have been different."
"Perhaps..." Terra spoke, gazing at her. Then he looked at Luxu.
Luxu stared back at him.
Something passed between them, in that moment.
Kairi didn't know what it was, or what it meant, but-
Terra broke eye contact with the other man, sighing and shaking his head. "You shouldn't blame yourself, either way. The only one responsible for what's happened...is Xehanort himself."
"I believed...so, so strongly in him. That he would find light, and love. That he would become a hero, a leader, that he would surround himself with friends. That he would become so strong, and good. That he would rise above sorrow, and loss, and grief. That his Heart...would weather the worst, and know the best," Amaya spoke on. "That in time, he would become light's master..."
"I'm sorry." Aqua's voice, quiet and gentle. "I'm sorry that things didn't turn out the way you hoped...for him."
"From everything Luxu's said, you didn't fail him; he failed you," Riku muttered. "He failed to stay true to his own Heart. To his friends. His Heart was weak. I know, because mine is, too. I failed in the exact same way."
"Yes..." Amaya agreed, in a thick voice of emotion. "Perhaps I pushed too many expectations onto him? Did I not spend enough time showing him other things - teaching him what was important? Did I not..."
"Hey, don't go down the road of what-if's. I know that road," Luxu told her. "There's no way to know if you could have changed anything, or if there was some fault in him that would have always led him down the road he's on now. Even if what happened in Scala never had been...it might have just taken longer."
"You think it was inevitable, then? That he was born broken?" Amaya's head snapped around, her eyes burning into him. "NO! You believe that because you've only seen who he is now, what he's done! But I know that he is- that he was kind, and good, and loving - that he was one of the most empathetic, thoughtful children I have ever known! And he was special. That was why I was certain, without a doubt, that he was the Child of Destiny. It must have been what happened in Scala Ad Caelum - this Darkness! It scarred his Heart, caused him to withdraw from others, to sink into misery and pain..."
"Special how?" Luxu asked.
"Some people have called them Empaths, others call them Connectors, or Readers, or a plethora of other applicable terms," Amaya responded tightly. "Xehanort was born with the ability to know the contents of another's Heart, just by touching them. To feel what they feel, to experience what they experienced. To take in thoughts and memories, and emotions from others."
The woman looked down again, closing her eyes now. "For that boy to have closed his Heart off from others so much now..." She opened her eyes, gazing at them. "If I can have even one moment with him - if I can just touch him again - I'm sure that I can make him understand. He'll know the truth of my Heart...he'll see it, he'll feel it all...and he'll realize..." Her expression was almost desperate now. Like she was begging them to agree, to confirm, to tell her...
"Well, we can always hope," Luxu offered. "And there's not much to lose by trying, is there?"
"But there is a chance to gain, by succeeding."
"Yeah..." Luxu agreed, looking away. "Look, kid, I'm not mincing words again here: everyone in this room has done their damn best to kill Xehanort, for the good of the World. And that...is not going to change. He's not someone you talk down. He's someone you put down. If you want to try, you're going to have to get your chance in before someone here does the dirty deed. Understand? Because...I doubt anyone here is going to wait on you. We're not pulling our punches - not even for his mother. Innocent worlds, innocent people's lives depend on it - on stopping him, permanently."
Amaya's expression twisted at his words - at the word "mother" specifically. Pain, sorrow, anger, bitterness. Then- "I understand perfectly," she said, controlled.
"Good. That's all, then. Just as long as you know that."
"We should really be getting home," Kairi spoke.
All of this...it was too much.
Her existential crisis had only intensified.
Knowing that Xehanort's life story seemed to be so sickeningly close to hers. That he, too, had been...adopted by someone not his birth parent, and- and then raised on Destiny Islands...just like her...?
"I'll take you back," Aqua said, starting forward.
"Thank you," Kairi said, meaning it more than she ever had in her life.