The Devil….

My best friends brother looked like the gosh darn devil. He was wearing an all red suit, red shoes, red shirt, red tie and it was all the same shade, as if it had all been made for him out of the same silken fabric forged in the seventh circle of hell. His blond hair was parted on the side with the one stray piece the stuck out slightly and everyone knows that it's never going to lay down. Even when he went to his sister great Gatsby party and he tried to slick it down tight with gel, it still stood up.

Before I get too much further into why my best friends brother is standing at my Gran's funeral looking like a whore in church, let me tell you how this started.

Six years ago I moved into my freshman dorm only to find out that not one, but both of my assigned roommates had chosen quite literally at the last moment not live on campus, rather they got a room together without me off campus. I knew it was me who was the issue because we all met for the first time two weeks ago at the freshman mixer. So I choked back my tears and didn't tell a soul. I now had a giant three person dorm all to myself.

See I was a totally different person back then. I was 200 lbs on my five foot two frame, I had thick glasses with awful bright red frames, I dyed my golden blonde hair black and had no idea how to dress myself, so sweats and these rayon moo moo like dresses filled my closet.

One day well into the semester I saw what looked like Alice in Wonderland running down the halls as I was opening my door. She rushed inside before me and then grabbed me and pulled me in with her. She looked panicked and said.

"Oh my god, thank god I found you. There is someone the fired a shot out in the court yard and they evacuated the dorms, because they think he's holding up in one of the rooms on the fifth floor. Lock the door, and come get in the closet with me, we need to call 911 and let them know where we are and that we're safe."

She tossed on the deadbolt and chain on herself and grabbed the blanket off of my bed as she shoved me into the closet and then covered us both with the blanket and made her call. They kept us on the line, but she set down her phone and I asked.

"How did you know I was here?" I was whispering and shaking by this point.

"I don't know your name, but you were in the bathroom drying your hair alone when I walked out. There was chaos in the halls as people were emptying out. I got pushed along and followed because I thought it was a drill or something, but then the police started rushing us away and saying that the shooter was inside and I knew you were still up here so I ran back to get you and one of the pigs tried to stop me but I hit him with my chem book and came to get you. We need to stay here though; the 911 operator confirmed that he's on the floor below us. I'm sorry I never got your name before I'm Pamela Northman, but you may call me Pam." She found my hand under the blanket and shook it." I nodded and said.

"Sookie Stackhouse." Then I burst into tears, Pam followed right behind me. We clutched to each other for what seemed like hours. It actually was hours. The 911 operator kept us updated; he was one floor below us with three hostages. He didn't know we were here, and he wasn't moving, but it was still terrifying.

We kept ourselves calm by talking about our families and where we're from. She told me about her half brother Eric and her parents Godric and Nan, apparently her mother was a bitter shrew, but her father loved her and forgave her for every selfish and cruel thing she did without question. Godric was Nan's first husband and Eric's father, they briefly divorced in the early 80's and that's how Pam happened. Her Father was apparently a bi curious, tranny stripper named Claude. Pam later declared that that is why she is so F.A.B.U.L.O.U.S, They talk on the phone every Saturday and Eric works for him as the manager of one of his bars or something like that.

I told her about my twin brother Jason, and how he plays minor league baseball and works construction. I also told her about my Gran. She smiled and listened eagerly when I told her about growing up in small town Louisiana with my Gran acting as mother and father. Pam was nice, blunt, but nice. In the end I didn't realize just how close this would make us.

They got the shooter to surrender early the next morning and the swat team came to rescue us. We were walked down stairs where my Gran was hysterically crying and being held up by a giant blonde man and a tall very thin blonde woman who was looking board, but you could tell that she had been crying, because her eyes were rimmed red and swollen. She also was wearing a very expensive looking suit, but no makeup which made me think that she had cried it off.

The man holding onto my Gran caught sight of us first and yelled "Pam!" He passed my Gran off to the very thin woman and tried to get over the police barrier, but they tried to stop him. We were getting ushered in the other direction and Pam flipped.

"No! I want Eric!" She was struggling against the police officer and I saw the giant man, who I now know is Pam's brother Eric body check the cop at the barrier and run right to her. Pam was not short, but when he scooped her up her feet hung about six inches off the ground. She cried into him as he carried her while we followed the police. He even slipped his arm around me to comfort me too as we walked.

Day's later we returned to school. Eric stayed with Pam for her first night back in the dorms just like my Gran did for me, but the next night I was sitting in my closet too afraid to sleep at 1am when there was a ding on my phone.

(Open your door)

it read, it was from Pam. I got up and cracked my door open and looked down the hall towards her room. Her door was also cracked and she ran out with a pillow, blanket and stuffed panda in her hand as she sprinted towards my room. I slammed the door once she was in and locked it tight. She was panting from the 25 foot run, but she mostly looked scared as she said.

"I can't sleep." I sighed and replied.

"Me neither. I was in my closet awake." Pam looked thoughtful and asked.

"Wanna' move your bed stuff in there so we can get some sleep." My shoulders sagged with relief because I had totally been thinking the same thing.

She and I spent the rest of our freshman year sleeping in that closet. Pam moved across the hall and in with me officially when her roommates (who weren't even on campus at the time) couldn't handle how jumpy she was or how she would flip if they didn't lock the door. It was better after that. She and I were inseparable. We spent thanksgiving with her family, Christmas with mine, new years with hers and Easter with mine. Pam was an open and loving it lesbian, so many people thought we were together together, but I didn't care. She was my best friend and my personal hero.

The summer between our junior and senior year we back packed across Europe as a last hoorah. It was the best time I ever had. I lost my virginity to someone I never had to see again so I could build the story up in my mind as much as I wanted, I had my first alcohol and my first hangover, we smoked weed in Amsterdam and danced in spain. I also lost 30 pounds on that trip from all the walking we did. I went from a size 20 at the start and came home a size 12. My Gran was so happy. My brother claimed to think I always looked beautiful so he didn't see a difference, but I know he was just making me feel good.

The thing was, I did feel good. Over the next year Pam and I took every dance, aerobics and martial arts class the student union offered for free or up to $10 a class. I lost the rest of my weight and ended the year at a size 5 and Pam lost her freshman 15 and joined me in the size 5 club. My body didn't look right after I lost all the weight, I had sagging skin and saggy boobs. I was almost more ashamed of my body now than before.

It started getting so bad where I used to be fine with Pam walking in and out of the bathroom we shared in our little downtown apartment while I was showering or getting ready, but I didn't even want her to see me like this.

One day she sat me down and explained that her mother owner Ravenscroft cosmetics and that she had lots of money and wanted us to go get matching boob jobs. For here because she was almost flat, and for me to feel better about myself. We fought, we cried, we battled, but at the end of the day I let her pay for it and I have never regretted it for a second. She also got me some lifts and nips while we were in there. She said it was only fair since she was getting her hips filled out with some fat taken from her sides, stomach and back… for some reason if Pam gained weight the first five pounds went straight to her shoulder blades. Weird.

Gran took care of us while we healed, she was against the surgery until about a year later when she saw me willingly put on a swim suit and play with Jason in her above ground pool. She cried and said how she was happy I did it and that she had never seen me so happy. I felt like she finally understood how I was feeling. Aside from a few "flotation device" jokes, it was never mentioned again.

Pam and I lived with my Gran for two years after college; we worked together at the local watering hole putting our fancy degrees to use as bar tenders. Gran was starting to slip, she was off balance and forgetful, not to mention she was 79 years old. She complained, but we justified it because Pam wanted to be a designer, but needed to get her line in order before we moved to NY to sell it. I voiced that my degree is in business so I can really do any job anywhere. Jason had finally gotten a shot at the pros the year before and was playing for the Florida marlins. So he couldn't stay with her, thankfully that new place for him on the team came with a nice pay check so Gran didn't need to worry about my money, because I put almost everything away that I made. The house and bills for it were paid by Jason, and Pam paid for the food as "rent" at her insistence. All I paid was my cell bill because Pam had a car and we went everywhere together anyway, so I had no need for one.

Gran passed quietly in her sleep after a night of laughing and bingo with Pam and I. We were crushed, but Gran had gone peacefully and with a joyful heart, so I could at least take comfort in that. Her funeral was the first time I had seen Eric since The Thanksgiving after the shooting. He got some highfalutin job Managing Pam's Dad's new casting agency in LA. He and Pam talked on the phone almost every day and we had spoken about once a week or so if I had to hold Pam's phone or she had me tell him a story because I'm the better story teller (she says it's my southern drawl that brings people in.) He and Gran spoke often too as they seemed to have bonded waiting outside our dorms together for 9 hours on that fateful day.

Pam and I dressed Gran in one of Pam's original creations and I was wiping the ridiculous blue eye shadow and glitter off of her face that they had spread on her like a buttered biscuit. Pam and I were waiting for everyone to arrive. They slowly started to trickle in. First was Jason and his long time girlfriend and soon to be baby mama Dawn. She was sweet and my brother calmed her down a lot, Then Pam's parents and Claude and his "Man lover" Preston. Other people came and went from the viewing back to the farm house for the wake. Gran would have hated all this attention, I thought to myself.

But, just as that though passed my mind; in walked Eric wearing red from head to toe looking like wore in church. Pam walked over to him, but Jason grabbed his arm first and dragged him out the back door with Pam and I hot on his heels.

"What the fuck are you wearing!" Jason growled out.

"I'm doing as I was told, buddy." Eric spat back. That set me off and I puffed up my chest and said.

" You listen here, Pam's brother or not, show some respect." Eric turned and then looked down at me and said.

"Who are you?" Pam clucked her tongue and tossed her hands up before yelling.

"That's Sookie! You talk to her all the fucking time!" We all turned to her and said.

"Language!" All at once, She hung her head and said

"sorry Gran." Quietly to the ground. We directed our attention to the giant red elephant in the room and he presented Jason with a small slip of paper I recognized as Grans stationary that she kept for "business". Jason read it and wiped away a lone tear before he clapped Eric on the back and walked back inside. I snapped the letter back out of Eric's had and he sarcastically said.

"Oh, sorry. Yes you may read it." I rolled my eyes and read.

"Dear Eric,

The girls do not know this, but I was diagnosed with a brain tumor many months ago. I have chosen not to seek treatment because of my advanced age. I want to spend my last months with my girls and friends. I do however need something from you. Seeing as you are the only person who does not now nor is likely to live in this state in the future this falls on you. Please make some spectacle to take the attention off of me. My soul will never rest with those old bittys talking about me non-stop. Also, my secret cookie recipe is taped under the knife drawer. Pam thinks she has it, but I left one ingredient out. Evil I know, but only one person can know the greatness of those cookies at a time. All of Sookies Mothers things are in the attic, I hope with me gone she will want to learn more about her parent's that poor child always thought talking about them would make me feel inadequate or sad. When she and her brother were little I wrote down every story about her parent's that I could remember. Those are in a space bag under my bed. Do not sell the house until you kid's find all of the money I hid in there. There is $56,789.90 good luck hunting!

That money is for Sookie's wedding, please ask Pam to encourage her to date. As much as I would have loved for Pam and Sookie to be an item, we all know that Sookie isn't a lesbian. I want her to be happy. I also don't want Pam and Sookie passing up other relationships because of chronic trauma induced co-dependency issues. Pam also need's to find someone. I wish you lived closer, because I think Sookie would be perfect for you and if you have not already left that awful Sophie girl… do it, she is not welcome in my home. Mark my words Eric, that girl is a gold digger. Please tell Jason that I know he still smokes and that fabreeze does not eliminate the smell, rather it makes him smell like camel lights and fabreeze. Chrystal is a nice girl and My wedding ring is in my jewelry box waiting for him to give to her. I want you to hold onto the ring for Sookie, it was my mothers and then her mothers. You'll know when someone can be trusted with both her and the ring. Everything else is in the will. I love you and please call me after 8pm on Thursday because I am just addicted to that grays anatomy show.

Love always,

Gran"

I handed the letter back to Eric, Pam had been reading over my shoulder so she was now crying too. She and I walked into the house hand in hand. I looked around and back at Pam. We needed to leave; we needed to start our lives like Gran wanted. I looked over at the tall red monster in our kitchen and I knew where we were going. Pam just spoke the words I was thinking.

"We're going to LA to start fresh aren't we?" I squeezed her hand and said.

"We always said we would know where to go when he time was right and it feels right." I squeaked out. This wasn't my home without Gran, now it was just walls and a tin roof.