Disclaimer: None of the authors own Mass Effect or Sonic the Hedgehog.

Originally this was a joke comment by The Raven Writer, but I found it funny so I threadmarked it. Please enjoy!

Please note that there may be formatting problems. I did my best to fix them.

APOCRYPHA: Things not allowed to do in Citadel Space – by The Raven Writer

TAILS

Council: Thankfully there are only Seven Chaos Emeralds. Which will make them easier to keep track of and make laws surrounding them.

Tails: Hi guys!

Council: (Oh no, it's him!) Hello Mr. Power, what brings you here today?

Tails: I'm just on my way to deliver these Chaos Emeralds to help power my latest ship!

Council: CHAOS WHAT!?

Tails: Well they aren't technically Chaos Emeralds, just replicas that I made.

Council: REPLICAS!?

Tails: Yes, that's what I said.

Later that day, two list of laws were made. One was made for the citizens of the galaxy, and the other was made specifically for Tails.

Things Tails is not allowed to do.

1. T̶a̶i̶l̶s̶ ̶i̶s̶ ̶n̶o̶t̶ ̶a̶l̶l̶o̶w̶e̶d̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶m̶a̶k̶e̶ ̶a̶n̶y̶ ̶s̶u̶p̶e̶r̶ ̶w̶e̶a̶p̶o̶n̶s̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶o̶u̶t̶ ̶p̶e̶r̶m̶i̶s̶s̶i̶o̶n̶.̶ Tails is not allowed to make any ship without permission.

2. Any Chaos Emeralds created by Tails must be categorized. (It was originally going to be he wasn't allowed to make them.)

3. No Tails, waking you up from your nap isn't a war crime.

4. If anyone hears Tails say (I have an idea!) they must report to a government official as soon as possible.

5. Tails, trapping someone in a pocket dimension is a war crime. Even if they're a news reporter.

6. Tails, just because you had someone do something for you, to get around the rules placed for you, still counts as breaking said rule.

7. Tails is not allowed to gamble at racing events.

8. Tails is no longer allowed to pretend he is a doll. We don't want another Asari accidentally taking you to her home again.

9̶.̶ ̶T̶a̶i̶l̶s̶ ̶n̶o̶ ̶l̶o̶n̶g̶e̶r̶ ̶h̶a̶s̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶o̶b̶e̶y̶ ̶a̶n̶y̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶s̶e̶ ̶r̶u̶l̶e̶s̶.̶

9. Tails is no longer allowed to modify the list of rules made for him.

10. Tails is no longer allowed to teach others how to modify the lists for him.

11. TAILS!

SONIC

1. Sonic is not allowed to change Tails's list of things he is not allowed to do.

2. Sonic is not allowed to compete in racing challenges under a false identity. We don't need another 'Rich Tails' event. (Please look on number 7 of Tail's list of he is not allowed to do for more details)

3. S̶o̶n̶i̶c̶ ̶i̶s̶ ̶n̶o̶t̶ ̶a̶l̶l̶o̶w̶e̶d̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶s̶l̶e̶e̶p̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶C̶o̶u̶n̶c̶i̶l̶o̶r̶ ̶V̶a̶l̶e̶r̶n̶'̶s̶ ̶o̶f̶f̶i̶c̶e̶.̶ Sonic is not allowed to sleep in any Council member's office.

4. Sonic stop taking Omega to Krogan bars! That's the fifth one destroyed this week!

5. Sonic is no longer allowed to replace Councilor Valern's drink with coffee. U̶n̶l̶e̶s̶s̶ ̶h̶e̶ ̶a̶s̶k̶e̶d̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶i̶t̶.̶

· Councilor Valern please don't let Sonic fuel your addiction

6. Sonic is banned from all Zoos unless he is under supervision. Edit: Tails does not count. Edit 2: Neither does Omega. Edit 3: Sonic is only allowed in zoos when under supervision by Amy Rose.

7. Sonic is banned from all Asari bars. We don't want Amy to destroy another one.

8. Just because a sword called him a king, does not mean he is above the law.

9. Sonic is not allowed to go Super while in The Destiny Ascension.

10. Sonic….. 'I gotta go fast' is not a medical condition.

11. Sonic is no longer allowed to call Dalatrass Esheel. "Ms. Bomber the Frog."

12. Sonic is forbidden from saying the "Your to slow" towards Krogan.

1̶3̶.̶ ̶S̶o̶n̶i̶c̶ ̶n̶o̶ ̶l̶o̶n̶g̶e̶r̶ ̶h̶a̶s̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶f̶o̶l̶l̶o̶w̶ ̶a̶n̶y̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶s̶e̶ ̶r̶u̶l̶e̶s̶.̶

13. Tails. We talked about this.

ROUGE

1. Rouge is no longer allowed to accept bribes from Tails to modify his and Sonic's list of things they are not allowed to do.

2. Rouge is no longer allowed use her status as a government agent to take jewels 'for inspection, or for matters of safety.'

3̶.̶ ̶R̶o̶u̶g̶e̶ ̶i̶s̶ ̶b̶a̶n̶n̶e̶d̶ ̶f̶r̶o̶m̶ ̶t̶a̶k̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶d̶a̶n̶c̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶l̶e̶s̶s̶o̶n̶s̶ ̶f̶r̶o̶m̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶A̶s̶a̶r̶i̶.̶

· Knuckles, we understand your concerns, but please stop asking Tails to edit this in. We don't want to give him any more loopholes to exploit.

3. Rouge is temporary banned from all Asari bars until further notice. This is do too numerous complaints from the dancers of said bars complaining about losing money.

4. Rouge, death by jewel deficiency is not a medical condition.

5. Rouge is banned from entering a jewelry store without permission. And no, for the last time Omega does not count!

6. Rouge is no longer allowed to bathe in the council's garden where they hold meetings.

7̶.̶ ̶R̶o̶u̶g̶e̶ ̶i̶s̶ ̶a̶l̶l̶o̶w̶e̶d̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶t̶a̶k̶e̶ ̶a̶n̶y̶ ̶j̶e̶w̶e̶l̶s̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶s̶h̶e̶ ̶p̶l̶e̶a̶s̶e̶s̶,̶ ̶n̶o̶ ̶w̶o̶r̶r̶i̶e̶s̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶c̶o̶u̶n̶c̶i̶l̶ ̶w̶i̶l̶l̶ ̶p̶a̶y̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶i̶t̶.̶

7. Tails…. Please….. Stop. Our intelligence network agents have turned to coffee addiction because of how many times you have hacked us.

8. Rouge is no longer allowed to sell coffee to our intelligence agents.

SHADOW

1̶.̶ ̶A̶l̶l̶ ̶i̶n̶f̶o̶r̶m̶a̶t̶i̶o̶n̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶i̶t̶e̶m̶s̶ ̶r̶e̶l̶a̶t̶e̶d̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶A̶R̶K̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶S̶h̶a̶d̶o̶w̶'̶s̶ ̶p̶o̶s̶s̶e̶s̶s̶i̶o̶n̶ ̶m̶u̶s̶t̶ ̶b̶e̶ ̶t̶u̶r̶n̶e̶d̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶c̶o̶u̶n̶c̶i̶l̶.̶ ̶T̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶i̶n̶c̶l̶u̶d̶e̶s̶ ̶i̶n̶f̶o̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶i̶t̶e̶m̶s̶ ̶r̶e̶l̶a̶t̶e̶d̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶i̶t̶s̶ ̶c̶r̶e̶a̶t̶o̶r̶ ̶D̶r̶.̶ ̶R̶o̶b̶o̶t̶n̶i̶k̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶g̶r̶a̶n̶d̶d̶a̶u̶g̶h̶t̶e̶r̶.̶

(After a calm and reasonable conversation with Shadow, we the council of our free will have decided that Shadow has no need for a list.)
(In light of this conversation, we advise anyone from talking to Shadow about Maria.)

1̶.̶ ̶S̶h̶a̶d̶o̶w̶ ̶i̶s̶ ̶n̶o̶w̶ ̶b̶a̶n̶n̶e̶d̶ ̶f̶r̶o̶m̶ ̶d̶r̶i̶n̶k̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶c̶o̶f̶f̶e̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶w̶a̶y̶ ̶h̶e̶ ̶d̶o̶e̶s̶.̶

· Councilor Valern, we have talked about this.

OMEGA

1. Omega is not allowed to destr…ERROR. ERROR. ERROR. DATA NOT FOUND.
(We apologize for the inconvenience. It seems do too Earth's natural weirdness. Omega has somehow managed to PHYSICALLY enter the Extranet and destroy his list.)

Salarian Agent 1: Do you think the Council have learned their lesson yet? So far the lists they keep making, just forces the ones they make it for to be more creative.

Salarian Agent 2: Not a chance, right now they're tasking my group to try and fix the damage Omega caused.

Salarian Agent 1: My condolences.

Salarian Agent 2: Ah it's not that bad, my group was actually offered a raise as compensation. Actually, now that I think about it, you're in the group tasked with figuring out how young Power is hacking the list. How is that going for you?

Salarian Agent 1:…..Barkeep. I need another serving of coffee!

Totally not Rouge wearing a disguise: Why of course sir, how would you like it?

Salarian Agent 1: Make it a double venti organic chocolate brownie caramel frappuccino, extra Hot with one Inch Foam….Non-Fat.

Salarian Agent 2: That's oddly specific….

Totally not Rouge wearing a disguise: He's been coming here every day for an over a week now. He's had a lot of chances to try different combinations.