One Year Ago, Issei (POV)
An ungodly screeching tone rang out across the hallways. People were running, heading to the bridge or command center or where ever to react, or see what the fuss was about.
I saw Mash hurrying, and well, I still haven't learned where the command room was, so I just ran after her. This place is really big, which I guess is a point for it, since they have to save the world and all. Better more space then less.
"Doctor! What's the emergency? Oh, Senpai, good morning." Mash barged into the room full of anxiety and determined focus, only to instantly relax mid-asking about the situation to smile and talk to Ritsuka casual.
Hey, um, Mash-senpai? Are you a yandere?
"What was breakfast?" Ritsuka said back.
"B-Breakfast? Hey, um, Ritsu—Master." Right need to get into the mindset of a soldier or something when acting as a Servant and all that. So need to use titles and all. "Isn't this, kinda of a, serious situation?"
Ritsuka cheekily grinned back at me.
"Fried eggs, seaweed, miso soup and stewed pumpkin for dessert." Mash immediately answer, before turning to me. "And breakfast is the most important meal of the day, Mr. Hydro. Of course Senpai would comment on it."
"Ah, I see." I nodded meekly before something grabbed my attention. "A-Also, all of that stuff! Where was it? I was only given cup noodles by the kitchen staff!" Weren't we under-resourced or something?
"Wow. How completely unexpected." Mash looked away.
"That's weird." Doctor Romani said. "I'm pretty sure we had a surplus of pumpkins from the Halloween event." Thanks for being in my corner doc!
Although I'd wish I could understand why, whenever I meet him, only for a moment I'd feel this... feeling.
I literally can't describe it anything other than a heavy emotion, appearing for only an instant then it's gone. I only noticed it because it keeps happening.
Still thus far he seems like a good dude. Pretty boy, but... honestly his "loser" aura is even worse than mine, that even I can't help but pity him.
"Oi..." I said. Mash didn't meet my eyes. "Oi, Mash-senpai, did you tell them to only give me the cheap stuff?"
"Please don't call me, Senpai. Only Senpai is Senpai." Mash said firmly.
"Hahaha, relax Issei, I still have some burgers left over in the fridge. You can have some." Ritsuka said with a chuckle.
"Senpai! Servants don't need food." Mash interjected.
"So you want me to starve!" I cried out. No, really, I will seriously cry at this cruel treatment.
"I... Right. Mr. Hydro, please Senpai's meals alone. She needs all the energy she can get as our Master. I'll cook you some lunch later after whatever emergency is occurring." Mash offered as a compromise after a guilty look came to her. She muttered something about having gone too far.
"A cute girl cooking for me? Hell yeah!" I pumped my fist in the air.
"Huh? How come you've never cooked for me, Mash?" Dr. Roman asked with a pout.
"Doctor. You're an adult. You can cook for yourself." Mash said with a dry stare that had Dr. Roman shudder and looked away, rubbing the back of his head.
"Awww, I wanted to taste Mash's food too." Ritsuka pouted.
"Then I will make sure to cook for your right away when we finish with this situation, Senpai!" Mash said with a wide smile.
"Wait, what? What about my meal?" I was shocked. I was thrown away so quickly. "I feel some massive favoritism going on around here." I whined.
"Ah..." Mash looked away, embarrassed, but not changing his decision.
"Hehe," Ritsuka grinned cheekily. ...Well damn, I can't get mad at that face. I guess I can't fault Mash her choice.
"Right, as entertaining this all is," Da Vinci spoke up. "We still have to deal with the intruder we seem to have."
"Right! Intruder! The intruder." The doctor said, only now remembering the situation at hand.
"Oh my. I'll go intercept them right away." Mash said calmly.
"I'll come with!" I tried to sound valiant. Man, ever since I went through that Titsania stint believing myself to be Prince Hydro, I've been picking up more fancy words. "Wait, what intruders?" I blinked as I realized what we're dealing with.
How do we have intruders? This place is locked down.
"Senpai, please do the honors." Mash nodded at me then at Master.
"Right on!" Ristuka raise a fist up, the back of her hand facing us.
A back of her hand with a glowing Command Seals.
I felt magical energy rush at me through my connection to my Master, and drew my sword. Mash transformed into her sexy armored form and we were off!
Wait. What Mash said about the doctor being an adult and cooking for himself...? Is she implying I'm a child!?
We ran out and took a few hallways till Mash stopped.
"The response should be form around here." Mash said, while checking some magic hologram emitting device thing from her wrist.
I really need to learn how to use the communicator too.
"Mash, behind you!" Dr. Roman said back in his usual panic.
We both turned around and...
"Wha...?" Mash looked on confused.
"Aww, that's adorable." I found myself saying.
It looked like a chibified cartoon version of someone. But in real life. Somehow it didn't look disturbing. It was like a realistic stuffed animal, but the toy was shaped like some iconic person.
"Nobuu nobuuu!" The chibi thing chimed. It looked hyperactive.
"That is cute." Ritsuka nodded. "Be careful though. Cute things can be dangerous and kick your ass."
"How are you sure?" I found myself asking.
"Saw it in an anime once." Ritsuka said back. "There was also this documentary on honey badgers."
I deadpanned back.
"Ritsuka, anime isn't real life." I said back. "Honestly, I wish it was, but come on let's be serious here."
"Yes, like for example, what is that thing?" Mash said.
"Mash, Issei, be careful. Despite looking like a joke, it's displaying high combat capabilities." Da Vinci appeared on the hologram communicator.
"What?" I asked, incredulous as I looked between the hologram and the chibi. Mash and Ritsuka also now looked wary and ready to fight. "Oh, come on, guys. It's harmle—"
The chibi thing shot me in the face with some kind of toy rifle. Somehow the plastic ball it shot me with, hit hard enough to throw of back.
"Rider has been shot! He's down!" Mash cried out.
"Owww..." I whimpered in pain.
"Mash, stop hitting him in his pride, and start hitting that thing with the front of the blade. Bash it!" Ritsuka commanded.
"Yes, Master!" Mash cried out, and dashed forward.
I could hear the battle starting, and pushed myself to get up, feeling the energy from Ritsuka healing the mini-bits of damage, and letting me jump in.
"Ow! Shit! Why you little—YAOOOOW!"
"Mr. Hydro!"
"Nobu—GAAAAH!"
My first actual battle in Chaldea.
I'm... I'm not proud of it. That fucking little chibi was bouncing around a lot, even slapping me a few times, and as I went in for a stab it hit me in the family jewels.
Thankfully, while it celebrated its victory over me, Mash slammed her shield down on it, killing it. It popped into a small explosive smoke cloud and disintegrated into magical energy.
"Issei, are you alright?" Ritsuka came to my side.
"N...ooo." I wanted to cry. "My pride has been hurt. ...And my pride has been hurt."
"Ah. There, there."
"I don't understand. Why is Mr. Hydro repeating himself?" Mash asked innocently.
"I'll tell you when you're older." Ritsuka said reflexively.
"...Ah." Finally Mash seemed to get it. "I see, it's because Mr. Hydro has been hit in the genitalia, thus his 'pride'. I see, so it's a euphemism."
You don't have to explain it!
"Mash-san, please have mercy on me already." I pleaded.
"Enough joking around, please. More of the lifeforms are arriving." Da Vinci said from the comms.
"R-Right." I pushed myself up, ready for some revenge!
This time I swung my blade, the chibi thing blocked with its rifle, bounce off the wall, then fired at Mash who blocked. The chibi used the momentum of firing the rifle to launch itself at me.
Ha! I'm not falling for it this time.
I swung my blade, catching it by surprise, it barely blocked with its rifle and—
"Stop right there!"
"Nobu!"
The chibi was bisected in half. It dispersed into magical energy.
The new voice that spoke up appeared it was...
"Artoria?" I asked flabbergasted.
It looked like Artoria. It definitely looked like Artoria, but with pink hair. She was wearing a pink kimono with a red hakama. And... were those boots?
"W-Who are you?" Mash asked, surprised. The battle just suddenly ended.
"I'm from the Shinsen—...Ah, um, I mean, like he said. I'm Saber. Call me Sakura Saber!" The Japanese Artoria said.
"Sakura... Saber?" Mash said.
"Yes. I materialized in this world in pursuit of that mysterious creature." Sakura Saber explained.
"I see." Mash nodded, accepting that explanation.
"No, no. Not 'I see'!" I said pointing at Mash, then at the surprised Sakura Saber. "Why do you look like Artoria? Is that you, Artoria, but cosplaying as a samurai for some reason? Or are you two related? How? She's British and you're Japanese, which is really weird that I can tell you're different, when you both have the same face? Is this some kind of family prank?"
"Eh?" Sakura Saber looked genuinely surprised. So I guess this being a prank, or her knowing Saber are out? "I'm afraid I don't know this 'Artoria', but I assure you, I have no relation to a foreign Servant. I'm a true born Japanese Servant."
"Sorry about his outburst, but Hydro is correct that you do truly look like another Servant we have here."
"How odd. A doppelganger from the other side of the world. The world can truly be vast." Sakura Saber said with an happy smile.
"Hey!" A voice from behind the new Servant called out. "Wait! Wait for me man-slayer! Don't leave me behind."
This new Servant was a Japanese woman dressed in a black military outfit tinted red, with a crimson cape, and a officer cap that has very familiar symbol of a very famous clan, with metal lines extended to appear like a rising sun.
Wait, she called Sakura Saber "man-slayer", and Sakura Saber almost introuced herself as someone from the "Shinsen-somthing".
...Was, was it "Shinsengumi"?
Then that means!
"Sheesh, my normal self can take them out like nothing, but the current me is really having a hard time."
"Um, and you are...?" Mash asked.
"Ah, me? I'm the Demon King of the Sixth Heaven. Nobu—No. Demon, right? Demon Archer!" She said with a brilliant laugh.
"Demon Archer and Sakura Saber. I see."
Mash, your nonchalance is starting to creep me out, and piss me off!
"Okita Souji and Oda Nobunaga!?" I shouted in utter shock. "Like I know famous historical figures are rule 63'd in this universe, but isn't this too much?"
"What? You figured out our True Names this quickly?" Cute Nobunaga cried out. Her red eyes were shining with excitement, looking at everything new in wonder, yet there was a sharp calculating look as well.
Okita also had a sharp glint in her eyes, but focused more on people, assessing if they were a danger.
"Eh? We couldn't keep our names hidden for even five minutes? Are you some kind of famous strategist?" Okita asked.
"HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSE NOT TO? EVEN HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS THAT FAILED HISTORY WOULD STILL KNOW WHO YOU TWO ARE!" I shouted, because I just can't keep in my calm anymore at how chaotic this situation was become.
"Hehe, I guess I am really famous." Nobunaga laughed and grinned.
"Mr. Hyoudou." Surprisingly, Mash calling me by my true name for the first time, calmed me down a bit. "I understand that this situation is overwhelming, especially given that this is your first mission in Chaldea. But we need to keep our head in the—"
"Master, I have eliminated the rest of the odd creatures throughout the base, and came here to regroup with you." Normal blue Artoria arrived.
"AAAAH! OKITA BECAME A FOREIGER! SHE'S ALREADY A HALF-GYARU!" Shouted Nobunaga shocked.
"SO I REALLY DO HAVE RELATIVES OVERSEAS!" Okita shouted in shock too.
===x===
"And that is how I met Okita Souji and Oda Nobunaga." Issei said. "We had to kill a lot of Mini-Nobus, and stop the Evil Nobunaga from getting the Mini-Singularity's Grail. The first real opponent we faced was Imagawa Yoshitsune and Musashiboy Sessai. Which yeah, did sound like weird names. Maybe the enemies were confused by the Singularity for some reason. However, eventually when we met Sanada Medusa, that I realized Servants summoned into this Singularity to play the roles of people from Nobunaga's life, due to being brainwashed by the Mini-Nobus. So it all began with..."
Issei paused as he saw Vali take out a large whine vodka bottle with an odd logo and label.
The bottle was labeled "White Russian+Am".
"Err, Vali?" Issei said thrown off.
"Yeah, no. This is too ridiculous, I'm not listening to this sober." Vali said as he materialized some glasses from his magic pocket dimension storage, then used magic to make ice cubes to land in the glass with a satisfying small clank.
Issei chukled. "I'll get to the serious part now. I swear, I just wanted to tell the part of how I learned to use my Balance Breaker for the first time. It functioned as my Noble Phantasm there, although since I was unskilled at that point, it was a weakened version and I could only use it to make a single attack."
Yeah, using the Welsh Dragon Over Booster against Evil Nobunaga the first time was pretty satisfying.
However when he entered the Okeanos Singularity, he saw how high the standard he's suppose to be at, actually was. His improvement, was only enough to ensure he survived and escape the first real enemies he faced.
"I'll just drink till you get to the good parts." Vali said as he poured himself a swirling white and black drink, that looked like milk and cola swimming together.
Issei felt something from that drink. A heavy energy. Something almost... divine?
Should Vali really be drinking that?
"What label is that? Is it something common in the supernatural world?" Issei asked. Maybe it's something Vali had tried before and used to?
"No clue. Found it in Azazel's safe. As for the label? I'm pretty sure it's a custom design. I saw him make one before. He does that to drinks he makes himself, or to stuff gifted to him that he thinks are special." Vali replied.
"Is it safe to drink? I can feel some divine energy from it." Issei warned.
"Then it should have a kick to it." Vali shrugged before smirking.
Of course he'd take drinking a divine drink as a challenge. Issei rolled his eyes.
"Okay, I'll wrap up the GudaGuda Honnoji Event and get to the real meat of this. Sealed Ends of the Four Seas: Okeanos. Chaldea's Third Singularity, and my first real Singularity deployment."
===x===
One Year Ago, Issei (POV)
I've been to the beach before. I'm seen the sea and love it's gentle waves. Beaches are especially great because women would be in bikinis.
However, I was not ready to find myself on a ship in the middle of the ocean.
No, more than that, I did expect for this first voyage on the sea to be so sudden.
Or to be on the fricking pirate ship!
"Not really sure what's going on, but... Get'em, fellas!" Shouted a stereotypical pirate.
Okay, this was my time. It seemed like my condition of being a "Living Servant" meant I was closely linked to Ritsuka in a way that I can travel by her side without expending extra energy. Meaning like Mash, I would always be available, and easily to enter a Singularity with my Master, rather than needing to be summoned later on, when they find a leyline.
"Seem like Dr. Roman needs to be disciplined after all!" Mash shouted before we entered the battle.
"Sorry! I promise I meant well!" Dr. Roman shouted through the comms.
I dashed forward by my Servant senpai's side. Of course I didn't call her that out loud as she has a hang up about being the "kouhai" for some reason.
"ALRIGHT! NOBLE PHANTASM ACTIVATE!" I let out a batte cry.
"Hyoudou no! They're just normal humans!" Mash cried out.
===x===
"So yeah, it was my first battle in the Singularity and the last time in that Singularity that I felt like a hot shot." Issei said.
"Hmm," Vali nodded following him so far. "One question though."
"Shoot."
"What in the blazing hells is a 'Singularity'?"
"...Oh, I never explained that, did I?"
===x===
One Year Ago, Issei (POV)
I stood by Ritsuka, Mash and out allies' side on our ship, opposite to the enemy ship.
I felt the nervousness of fighting at sea return like it did the first time we battled at sea.
I can't fly. I know that I can eventually once I master my Balance Breaker, but I can't right now.
Even then all the fights we had on the ground, be it against enemies like the numerous "ephemeral pirates" as Da Vinci called them, or that Bloodaxe Mad Servant, or those who later became our friends like Drake or Asterios, I barely made a difference.
It really felt like it was Mash carrying us all the way. Master's command was great, sure! But... it felt like I could barely contribute. Barely change the outcome of anything happening.
Worse, due to my inexperience, activating my Noble Phantasm, Welsh Dragon Over Booster, either required I gather a lot of magical energy through Boosts, which means I can't fight at the high level Servants operate at, and have to focus on dodging or just tanking the attacks and hope I don't get hit with anything that requires healing. Or, for Master to use a Command Seal.
I refused the second option outright. I know Ritsuka would never use her Master powers to harm me, but rather she needs them to teleport Mash to her side if she needed the Shielder.
Now we were facing an enemy ship, am I even gonna be helpful with my powers so unreliable?
"Hey! You gonna say something you scary oaf?" Drake shouted to the other ship's captain.
According to Dr. Roman it's the most infamous pirate in history. The iconic pirate, Edward Teach, more famously known as Blackbeard.
"Huh?" The enemy Pirate grunted loudly, like a stereotypical gangster. "Sorry, my ears don't pick up old hag noises!"
Silence.
Did... Did he seriously say that to Drake?
"...Say that again?" Drake looked murderous.
"What?" Mash couldn't believe those were the words of the infamous pirate.
I'm with her, I expected death threats from the get go or something.
"What. Did. You. Say?" Drake growled every word.
"I! Said! I! Didn't ask for old hags? What's with them huge knockers? Is this a joke? Guess the scars are okay? Blade scars are okay, they turn me on. But the age, that's a slight problem. If it was half that, you'd be in my strike zone. D'uhuhuhuhuhu!"
"..." Drake was frozen stiff. Her shock turned her into a stone.
But I wasn't focusing on my allies' reactions.
Rather, a fire burned in my chest that over took any fear or nervousness I had.
"Captain, it's alright, just don't listen..." Euryale tried to encourage Drake, only to trail off as she noticed her state. "She's died (on the inside)." She sighed. "It's hopeless, she's all frozen up. Not that I was much better the first time I encountered him." Euryale admitted. "I'm surprised I survived it."
"Mm-woooooooooooo! Euryale-chan~!" Blackbeard cried out. "Cute! Cute! Kawaii~!" He fawned over the Loli Snek Goddess. "I want to lick and be licked. Mainly armpits and groin."
While I can understand the love over women, something about Blackbeard was pissing me off. Like... Something in his words I can't help but reject.
He made fun of Drake. But maybe that was just ageism?
No, I saw myself in him, and I hated it. Why?
"Oh, and step on me too. Barefoot! Step all over me. I want to be treated like a cockroach." Blackbeard said cheerfully while Euryale looked sickened.
I can understand, brother, I had my bouts of masochism.
And yet!
"HEY BLACKBEARD!" I moved, almost throwing myself guardrails, slamming my hands as I held onto them.
"Hm?" Blackbeard blinked before he found himself focuing on me. He looked like he was going to casually dismiss me at first, before he paused as our eyes met.
A sense of understanding passed between us, of two men that loved women. A challenge that needed to be earnestly answered.
"Hyoudou, calm down. Step back before the enemy targets you—"Mash began to warn me, but I was too heated.
"Mash, wait." Ritsuka held an arm in front of her Shielder. Suddenly there was silence, only the wind passed loudly around us. "Let him cook."
"Eh?" Mash blinked in confusion.
"Edward Teach, if you were to gain Euryale and the grail, what the hell would you wish for?" I shouted.
"What did he say!?" Euryale cried out in anger.
"Issei... I thought... we were friends." Asterios sounded hurt.
"Guys calm down, I have a feeling he needs to let this rant out." Ritsuka said to placate them.
"If your pervy lizard even thinks of trying to hand me over, forget Asterios. I'll shoot him myself!" Euryale was adamant.
"He won't." Ritsuka said with a confident smile. "No matter what, Issei would never betray us, and if it came to that, he's still my Servant. I'll stop him myself." She reassure them, reminding them of her status as my Master.
That got the Greek Servants to calm down.
As for Blackbeard he just looked at me like I was stupid at my question.
"Huh? I usually wouldn't care about a guy's words, but seriously? You're asking that to a pirate? Isn't it obvious?" He spread his arms out. "I'd enjoy all the beauties and treasures in the world. Hunt them down and make them mine."
Yeah, that makes sense. I thought as I nodded in agreement.
"A paradise of lolis to bully and be bullied by. Endless feet and armpits to lick and snuggle against. I'll erase all those saggy old hags with their useless badonkers! Nothing but my nirvana of lolis!" Blackbeard declared with joy.
"...Can we please kill him, Anne?" The small enemy white haired lolu Servant on Blackbeard's said pleaded.
"No. He's still our captain." The tall buxom blonde Servant said through gritted teeth. "But maybe we shoot him in the head a few times once the fight's over, so he's brain would work better."
"...Kill." Drake spoke.
"Huh, captain?" The first mate asked.
"I'll kill. I'll rip him to shred—"
Whatever Captain Francis Drake was about to say was swept away by my shout.
"YOU! LOLICON! BASTARD!" I roared.
The guardrail cracked under my fingers. The fire in me blazed forward and engulfed me.
"Wha—This magical reaction!" Mash cried out.
The magical energy in me exploded, focused inward into my body—No. My Saint Graph.
As I was, I wasn't enough.
But this challenge!
This enemy Servant, was one I must meet head on.
Thus all this power built up inside and overtook me.
A flash of light and I was different.
My cloth felt different. A familiar weight, a correct weight, on my left arm.
I was dress in my normal high school uniform with a red t-shirt. I also held the Boosted Gear in it's true form in my left arm.
"To dare to erase big boobs from this world! I won't allow you! I'll never forgive you, you contemptuous bastard!" I shouted with all my heart.
[BOOST] The Longinus announced with a emerald glow from the green center jewel on the back of my fist.
Silence fell again on the battlefield.
"No way! Ascension!" Mash said out loud in stunned.
My allies were surprised true, but given the look on the enemy Servants faces, they seem more shocked.
"A-Anne... what are we seeing?" Mary Read stuttered.
"The... The Drake Pirates have their own pervert!" Anne Bonny cried out in shock.
"Oi, oi, is this real?" The goatee spearman Greek Hero Servant muttered.
[Huh? What's happening?] Ddraig spoke up. [It seems I'm finally awake for good, rather than those brief moments for the Over Booster attacks. Hey, crazy red girl, anything interesting happening?] He called out to Ritsuka.
"They're having a manly debate of philosophical ideologies." Ritsuka replied.
"Senpai! You know very well that they're not!" Mash said back.
Back with Blackbeard, he was taking my declaration very seriously.
"HUUUUH!? What? Do just wanna go for mommies milk, little boy?" Blackbeard sighed disappointedly. "Honestly, that's why kids don't understand the sophisticated beauty of a loli. The pure delicacy of feeling their soft shoulders and feet." He then started to pick his nose with his pinky. "Only kids go for the stupid 'bigger is better' motto."
"Screw you, you cringe lord! Boobs carry the dreams of men. The bigger they are, the more dreams they can carry! The only reason to like lolis, is for the potential of Oppai they carry within them! I can almost respect you being a lolicon."
""You can almost respect him!?"" Mash, Drake and Euryale shouted in shock and disgust.
"But to completely throw away the love of big boobs, just for tiny pumps? You, Blackbeard, are a coward! You fear the glory of Oppai!" I pointed directly at the Pirate Servant. "Look at your comrades, they're all forced to work with you, but look at Drake! Her crew willing sails with her through waves and storm, all for the booty she carries within! For no matter how tough the journey gets, one look at her chests and they are immediately re-inspired and reinvigorated!"
Bang! Bang! Bang!
"Don't stop me, Rtisuka! Don't fucking stop me! I'll shoot them both!" Drake was firing her gun, but Ritsuka was holding her arms back and away.
"Calm down, Captain! Just wait, this is working for our advantage, please!" Ritsuka said, while trying not to laugh.
"It's fine. I have him in my sights!" Euryale had her bow drawn.
"Mash!" Ritsuka called out.
"Ms. Euryale, please don't hit our comrade. No matter how despicable he seems, he's on our side!" Mash said, stopping and trying to calm the petite goddess.
"Wow, he just went out and outright said it." Bombe, one of Drake's pirates said. "Damn, gonna have to reevaluate the kid. He's got balls. He's not gonna have them for long, but he's definitely got them.
[Oh. This is something dumb. Welp, I'll go back to sleep. ...Wait, why can't I slumber again? Don't tell me I'm going to be awake for stuff like this, from now on?]
Throughout this, Blackbeard was uncharacteristically serious and quiet.
"Boy." Teach spoke. "What's your name?"
"Hyoudou Issei!" I declared.
"Ms. Bonny, Ms. Read, Eric, Sensei." Teach spoke. "No one touches that kid. He's my opponent."
"Wait, seriously?" The Spearman Servant blinked in surprise.
"He's taking the other pervert seriously?" Anne cried out.
"Good. Let the trash kill each other." Mary nodded.
"Hey, Hyoudou," Blackbeard spread his arms. "Do you dare face the great pirate in history? Are you man enough to fight for you useless sags of breasts?"
"Boosted Gear Scale Mail!" I called on my power, so much more present and more plentiful. I called my Noble Phantasm, and the power appeared.
[WELSH DRAGON OVER BOOSTER]
My red armor covered me. Before anyone could say anything or react, I dashed forward and jump off the railing to the other ship, fire bursting from my shoulder, propelling me like a rocket.
"Mr. Hyoudou, no! That's too dangerous, you're too far in enemy territory!" Mash called out.
"Damn, he's crazy." Drake was stupefied, actually calming down from my actions.
"Good riddance!" Euryale said.
"Go Issei." Only Fluffy Bro Asterios cheer me on.
If Ritsuka objected, she'd have easily stopped me by now.
"!" The Blackbeard Servants were too surprised by my charge, but reacted just the same.
Firing guns, swinging an axe, or lazily thrusting a spear.
Yet with the power I felt now...
[BOOST] [BOOST] [BOOST] [EXPLOSION]
All that energy gathered and with a swing of my arm, sending that power in a energy shockwave, all blows were deflected.
I landed on the Queen Anne ship and dashed to Blackbeard who ran at me. A smirk mirror my own under my helmet.
The other Servants stood in our way.
The Spearman was insanely fast, behind me Bloodaxe. The Blood Buxom Pirate and the Loli White Haired Pirate were behind me.
I was surrounded.
But I didn't care, my fight wasn't with them.
They attacked.
So I forced all the extra power of the Boosts into the armor, intentionally overloading it.
[EJECTION]
The Scale Mail exploded surprising and damaging the hot pirate girl Servants, along with the Axe Berserker. Only the Spearman had jumped away.
As for me, I was up ahead of them all. Ejecting from the Scale Mail at the last minute and using the explosion to speed me up.
My jacket was on fire, I didn't care.
"I told you all, this is an order! Don't attack Hyoudou, he's mine!" Blackbeard shouted and the effect was more noticeable now on the Servants, feeling it being a command.
"You're going down!" I cried out.
"FLAT IS JUSTICE!" He shouted as he reached me and punched forward.
"OPPAI IS TRUTH!" I shouted and punched back.
Our fist grazed each other.
BAM!
His fist slammed into my face, and my fist smashed into his.
The force almost threw me off my feet, but I planted firmly under me and pushed forward. Blackbeard did the same, not giving me an inch.
This damn Lolicon Pirate! He's tough.
""Captain!"" Mary and Anne wanted to intervene but unable to from the order.
"Go deal with the hag and her Servants!" Blackbeard shouted to his Servants. "This fight is personal. This isn't a fight between Servants." He said grinning.
"It's a fight between men!" I said in challenge, gritting my teeth.
"CROSS COUNTER!" Back on the Golden Hind, Ritsuka shouted in elation.
"Issei is actually engaging Blackbeard! It's an equal match!?" Mash shouted in shock.
"What the hell is happening!?" Roman on the comms cried out.
"Boobs are just useless slags of meat! They should stay petite and cute" Blackbeard shouted.
"Boobs are the greatest treasure of men! The better, the bouncier, and more comfort and blessing they give!" I shouted back.
"The manliest discussion in history." Ritsuka declared.
"No, it's most definitely the stupidest." Mash shook her head.
"Mash is right, and it's not like Issei is the only one who's going to be busy now." Drake said.
The Blackbeard pirates had landed on Drake's ship to engage them.
"Honestly, Captain Teach really has to give us the hard jobs." The Greek Lancer said with a sigh.
"While they're having their stupid stand off, I guess we should steal their booty, shouldn't we, Mary?"
"That Red Gauntlet Pervert ruined the word booty for me. Once Captain is done with him, I'll stab him till my sword is sharpened with his blood."
Eric Bloodaxe roared and engaged our comrades, aiming for Euryale. Ritsuka made a contract with Asterios and had him face off with the Norse Berserker.
Back with me and Blackbeard in a moment, surprised me with a quick punch to the face, before I could regain my footing.
"She's a five hundred year old loli, which means it's fine and legal!" Blackbeard said.
"That's a copout trope and you know it!" I said, delivering a right punch to the pirate. "Why would a centuries or thousand year old witch not make herself look at the prime of her life with curves and big boobs? Lolis are just a cheap bait."
"Loli is supreme taste!" My head snapped back from Blackbeard's punch. "The eternal beauty. The point between girl and woman, where a female's beauty is at it's peak. When those little bumps are there, and so inviting and delicious. That's when a fruit is most ripe."
"That's just bland tastelessness!" I punched back, cracking his nose. "A fruit is most delicious at it's most ripe, and even a bit when it's over-ripen. Boobs are better when they grow, when they are big that you can sink your hands into them, yet they bounce back when you let go. Simply resting you head on them and all fatigue will be gone."
"Gone the same way as death." Blackbeard punches back, I feel my face bruising. But I keep standing. "To love big boobs is to acknowledge that what was once young has become old. It's an affirmation to the passage of time!" Another punch, solar plexus. I cough and lose my breath. "Big boobs are nothing but a sign of mortality. To love big boobs is to be in the death cult." Another punch to the face. "Only lolis are best! To love lolis, is to be young in mind and soul. It's the potion of youth, the immortality of the philosopher stone!"
"Wrong!" I upper cut him. My knuckles hurt from punching his chin, but I keep pressing on. "Big boobs are warmth and love. They are the first gift all people receive when they enter this world, representing motherly unconditional love." I tried to block, but Blackbeard is a slippery eel, easily getting through my guard and hitting my torso. "Men exalt them and feel safe in their embrace because that's what they are!" I grit my teeth and forgo defense. I punch his solar plexus. "The home we all long to!" I deck him in the head.
"Lies!" Blackbeard shouted, punching me back.
"The hug of your mother when you come back from school! The hug of your wife after a long day of work!" I punched him with my other hand, breaking his rhythm. "Whenever you're tired, experiencing boobs in anyways revives you. See them, hold them, squeeze them, kiss them, lick them, suck them. The moment a man experience boobs, they instantly come back to life. That means boobs are love!" I take a punch and deliver my own back. "Boobs are life!"
"Loli are the ever yearning potential! Lolis are the freedom of choice itself! Freedom is Justice, thus Flat is Justice!"
We punch each other again.
"Big boobies are the truest form of love to life itself! Oppai is truth, TEACH!"
"HYOUDOU!" He shouted in defiance.
I punched forward and Edward Teach punched back.
Our fist met, a small blast of emitting from us as we struggled against each other.
One fist managed to push the other aside, we both quickly moved to redirect, and still hit each other in the face again, like the first exchange.
We panted in exhaustion, but neither of us wanted to fall down.
"You really are," he panted. "A stubborn idiot, brat. Carrying so much on about useless hag boobs."
"Right back at you." I panted. "Complaining about boobs so much. ...You keep mentioning hag boob specifically. It's almost like..."
I noticed a glint of nervousness in Teach. Almost like I stumbled on something he wanted to hide. I could feel his bloodlust rising in want to defend that secret.
But before I could react.
No, before either of us could react, we both were covered by a shadow.
We looked up to see...
"Master?!"
"Red girl!?"
It was Ritsuka flying in the air, having been thrown by Asterios.
She was holding a steel chair. It looked like it was made from that magecraft that made instant everyday items, Projection.
The Greek Lancer who seemed like he was maneuvering to target her was shocked. Anne and Mary were wide-eye bewildered, and Norse Axe Berserker was dying from Asterios' axes.
"YOU ALL FORGOT, MEDIUM IS PREMIUM!" She shouted and slammed the steel chair on both our heads.
Thus our manly fight ended by a redhead gremlin woman.