Author's Note: This one starts kinda angsty and then it gets smutty...I don't know

February 2010

Chandler was late…again. Every single day for the past two weeks, he's been late. At first, Monica thought that he was just catching up on paperwork, but now she was starting to notice a pattern. And he started wearing more cologne than usual. And he barely spoke to her anymore. He was either asleep or taking care of one of the kids. She tried to ignore the doubt and fear that started to creep in. There must be some completely normal reason for all of this. But she was exhausted. Everything was sore, her hair was falling out, and it constantly felt like she was on the verge of tears. But the final straw occurred when she called his work to ask how much longer it'll be before he gets home and the response she got was, "Oh, Mr. Bing left work an hour ago," Monica had finally snapped.

"Who is she!" Monica slammed her hands on the table when he finally got back home and everyone else is already asleep.

"What?" Chandler asked.

"I said," Monica tried to stop her voice from trembling. "Who is she?"

"Who?"

"Whatever girl you're seeing!" Monica snapped. "What's her name? Who is she?"

"I'm not seeing any girl," Chandler said, looking confused. "Unless you're talking about you."

"Oh, stop it!" Monica said. "I called your work and they said you left over an hour ago. And you have been late every single day for the past two weeks. Jack and Erica are waiting for you every night to tuck them in and you're not there."

"Monica," Chandler started.

"And you've been wearing all this cologne all of a sudden!" Monica interrupted him. "And it smells awful! You've never worn it before, so why now?"

"Monica," Chandler tried again.

"And you barely even look at me anymore," Monica interrupted again. "You get back from work and you won't even come near me. I know my body isn't the same anymore but that doesn't mean-"

"I've been smoking!" Chandler snapped and then immediately covered his mouth with his hand.

"W-what?" Monica asked.

"That's why…" Chandler looked defeated. "I started smoking after work again. That's why I've been late. That's why I've been using this disgusting cologne. That's why I've been avoiding you There…are you happy now?"

"Why?" Monica asked sternly.

"Because" Chandler rubbed his hand across his face. "I can't take it anymore!"

"Take what?" Monica could feel the tears forming in her eyes. "Marriage? Raising a kid?"

"No!" Chandler exclaimed. "God, no Monica-"

"Then what can't you take?"

"I can't sleep!" Chandler took a deep breath.

"But Dani has been sleeping for most of the night," Monica said. "Honestly she's sleeping much more than Jack and Erica ever did."

"It's not because of Dani keeping me up."

"Then what is it?"

"Every night it's the same nightmare again and again and I just can't take it anymore."

"What nightmare?" Monica asked. She thought back on the past few weeks and realized how little she saw him in bed. Every time she woke up, he would be gone and every morning he had some excuse as to why he was awake the night before.

"We're back at the hospital and all I can hear is you screaming in pain," Chandler said. "And for some reason I can't get to you. It's like I'm trapped behind some glass wall or something. And then screaming just gets worse and worse and then…and then you…y-you," he can't finish the sentence. He doesn't need to.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Monica asked, her anger melted away.

"You've been dealing with enough," Chandler sighed.

"No," Monica said. "Chandler, you need to tell me these kinds of things. You can't just bottle everything up. Because if you do, then you end up smoking every night while your wife is at home thinking that you're having an affair."

"I know. I'm sorry." Chandler sighed and for the first time Monica really saw all the exhaustion on his face. She knew that he had been tired with Dani and with his mother and with work as well. But she didn't realize just how badly he had been dealing with everything.

"It's the same nightmare?" Monica asked

Chandler nodded. "Let me just grab a blanket and pillow for now."

"Why?" Monica asked.

"So I can sleep on the couch."

"You're not sleeping on the couch."

"But, I-"

"You are going to go take a shower and wash all that cologne off. Then we're both going to go to bed and when you have another nightmare, you are going to wake me up and tell me."

"I don't want to wake you up."

"I don't care," Monica said and poked him in the chest with her finger. "You're going to wake me up. Okay?"

"Okay," Chandler said softly. She watched him as he slowly walked up the stairs.

Monica lay on the bed as she waited for Chandler to come out of the bathroom. For the past two weeks, she had been sitting in fear, thinking that he was having an affair, when in reality he turned to his old vice. She was still mad at him for lying to her. Really mad. The last time she was this upset with him was…well, it was when he started smoking while he was working in Tulsa. But when she saw the pain on his face when describing his nightmare to her, she realized that anger wasn't going to fix the problem. She had been recovering well from the birth, even after going into labor eight weeks early. But she had never thought to stop and think about what Chandler had gone through during that time. It clearly had affected him more than she realized.

She heard the door open and watched as he climbed slowly into their bed.

"Hi," she said quietly.

"Hi," he said back. She really looked at him. She could very easily see the dark circles underneath his eyes, the lines on his forehead, the gray hairs near his temple. He looked so tired. How long had this been going on?

"If I kiss you are you just gonna smell like cigarettes."

"I brushed my teeth like five times." Chandler said. "But yeah, probably."

"Okay," Monica whispered and then leaned her head up so she could kiss him on the forehead.

"I love you," Chandler said.

"I know," Monica replied.

Eventually, they both fall asleep.

Monica's eyes opened as she heard Dani cry out on the baby monitor. She slowly dragged herself out of bed and walked over to the nursery.

"What's wrong, honey?" she said as she picked up her daughter. Monica carried her over to the rocking chair and sat down. She moved the strap of her nightgown so that Dani could latch and start nursing. Breastfeeding was slowly getting easier every day, but it still left her sore and exhausted. She looked up and saw her reflection in the mirror. She barely recognized herself anymore.

"Do you ever get nightmares, Dani?" she looked down. "I wonder what they're about? Maybe there's no more milk. Or no one is there to change your stinky diapers."

After Dani finished nursing, Monica burped her and then placed her back in her crib. She rubbed her eyes as she slowly walked over back to the bedroom.

As she walked through the doorway, she saw Chandler in a fitful sleep, tossing and turning. Was this one of his nightmares? How many times had she slept through them? How long would he lie there awake before deciding that he wasn't getting any sleep that night? She walked over to his side of the bed and reached out her hand to touch his shoulder when he bolted up, breathing heavily. His eyes were wide as he looked around the room in a panic.

"Mon?" he asked.

"I'm right here," she barely got the words out before he grabbed her and practically pulled her into his lap.

"Mon," he said again and wrapped his arms tightly around her, like she might disappear into thin air if he lets go.

"Shh," she whispered and ran her hands through his hair. "It's okay, you're okay."

"I…I thought…you," The words were stuck in his throat.

"It's not real," Monica said as he melted into her. "None of it was real."

"It felt real." He said, his voice trembling. "It always feels so real. I can't-I can't lose you."

"I'm not going anywhere." She said. "You're stuck with me."

She's not sure how long she sat there, in his lap, but eventually his breathing began to even out. She ran her fingers through his hair as he slowly sank back into the covers. "Go to sleep," she mumbled into his skin. He tried to respond, but the exhaustion finally won out as he closed his eyes. She glanced over at the baby monitor; Dani was still fast asleep. Monica then placed her head on his chest. There would be more to discuss in the morning. But for now, she wrapped her arms around him, hoping that he would be able to sleep soundly for the rest of the night.

He was very quiet the next morning. She had moved positions at some point. She went from sleeping on his chest to being pressed up against his side. As she started to move she could feel him wrap his arms tightly around her, still half-asleep.

"Honey," she said. "We need to get up."

"Can't we just stay here?" he mumbled into her neck.

She wanted to. Just hide away from the rest of world. But she could already hear Jack and Erica talking about breakfast. And Dani would be up soon as well. She very slowly detangled herself from him before climbing out of bed.

She watched as he got up and got the twins ready for school while she was nursing Dani. She placed Dani back into her crib for her morning nap and went downstairs to make breakfast. Erica barreled down the stairs and into the kitchen. Jack followed her slowly.

"Mommy?" Jack asked quietly, his face full of concern.

"What is it, sweetie?" Monica asked.

"Are you and Daddy…" his voice faded.

"Jacky, you're gonna have to speak up," Monica said.

"Are you and Daddy getting a divorce?" He asked.

Monica stood there shocked, trying to find her voice. "No. Of course not. Why would you say that?"

"Because you were fighting last night," Jack said.

"That's what happened with Abby's mommy and daddy," Erica chimed in. "They would fight at night. Every night. And then they got a divorce."

"Hey," Monica said. "Both of you come here. Your Daddy and I are not getting a divorce. We argued last night. And sometimes mommies and daddies argue. But we love each other. I'm sorry if we scared you both last night. But I never want you to think that we don't love each other. Or that we don't love the both of you. Okay?"

"Okay," Jack and Erica said. As she hugged them both tightly.

"Now let's get you both some breakfast." Monica said. As she turned around, she saw Chandler standing at the doorway to the kitchen. There was a pained expression on his face that Monica couldn't describe. He must have heard what Jack said. Monica wondered how many fights Chandler heard as a child. Would his parents keep him up with their yelling? How many years of it did he have to endure before his parents finally divorced. Chandler turned around and started walking down the hallway.

She followed him as he walked into the garage and opened his car door. He grabbed the box of cigarettes from his car and tossed them in the garbage before walking back towards her.

"I love you," Monica said to him.

"I know."

He would still have nightmares for the rest of the week. Sometimes Monica would have to wake him up and hold him until he calmed down. Sometimes he would wrap his arms tightly around her, to remind him that she was still there. But things were slowly getting better. He would talk to her when he was having a bad night. He would bring her back flowers every day as an apology for the past few weeks. He would spend even more time with Jack and Erica as well. It was like she finally had her husband back again.

One night she was walking down the stairs to take one of the baby bottles back from the nursery to the kitchen. She missed the last step and fell hard against the floor. It didn't necessarily hurt but it felt like she had the wind knocked out of her. She barely had time to lift her head before Chandler had sprinted down the stairs.

"Are you alright?" He asked in a panic. "Did you hit your head? Should we go to the hospital?"

"Chandler," Monica said. "I'm fine, I just tripped."

"Are you sure? You might have broken something. Or you might have a concussion. How many fingers am I holding?"

"If you keep talking then you'll be the one with the concussion."

"Sorry, I just…I…"

"I know," Monica said. "But you have to stop assuming that something terrible is going to happen. You will drive yourself crazy."

"Yeah…I just…sorry,"

"When did you become such a worrier?"

"When my wife went into early labor."

She sighed and placed her hand on his cheek. "Here, help me up." After she stood up, she attempted to take a step, but there's a dull throb in her right ankle.

"Are you alright?" Chandler asked again.

"Yeah, I think I might have twisted my ankle." She hobbled back up the stairs while holding onto Chandler. Once they made it back to the bedroom, she sat on the bed while Chandler kneeled in front of her and inspected her ankle.

"Does that hurt?" he asked.

"No," she said. "It's just a little tender."

He sighed and placed his head on her lap. "Don't scare me like that."

She ran her hand through his hair. "I told you I'm fine."

He looked up at her and it suddenly felt like there wasn't enough oxygen in the room.

"C-can I?" he asked, placing his hands on the back of her knees.

"I…" Monica stopped, suddenly feeling self-conscious. "I don't…it doesn't…"

"What?" He placed a soft kiss on her thigh.

She sighed. "I don't look the same…down there." She could feel her face heating up. She had gotten approval from her doctor that she could resume normal activity at her last appointment. But everything was so different now. She knew pregnancy would change her body. She had told herself that she would be prepared for the changes. But suddenly the idea of Chandler seeing her made her incredibly insecure.

"Honey," he said softly. "Let me see you." He placed more kisses along her thighs and Monica found herself opening up to him. He very slowly pulled down her underwear and moved the hem of her nightgown, before lifting one of her legs and resting it on his shoulder. "So pretty," he whispered against her sensitive skin. "So, so pretty."

"Chandler," she choked out his name while he stroked her clit with his tongue, before sucking on the bundle of nerves.

"So beautiful," he said again before burying his head in between her thighs. Monica fell backwards onto the bed. One of her hands was pulling tightly on his hair while she threw the other one over her mouth to quiet herself, as she arched herself into his mouth again and again.

Chandler then crawled up her body, reaching up and taking her hand away from her mouth.

"No, don't do that," he said as he kissed the inside of her wrist. "I wanna hear all those pretty noises you make."

"Chandler…" Monica whined as he moved his other hand, pressing his fingers against her clit.

"Yeah," he said as he brought his mouth back to her center. "Just like that."

"So good to me," Monica whispered as he wrapped his lips around her swollen clit. "Always so good to me."

It only took a few more swipes of his tongue before she was spilling into his mouth and trembling underneath him. She practically grabbed him and forced him onto the bed before climbing on top of him, kissing him all over his face. She pushed him back onto the bed, grabbed his hands and placed them above his head. She wasn't holding on tightly; he could very easily slip out of her grip. But he kept his hands above his head and a wave of desire coursed through her. One of her hands slipped into his boxers, wrapping her hand around his length, stroking him until he was choking out her name. She moved her lips to his neck, biting and sucking every inch of skin she could reach. She could already see red marks appearing on his neck and jaw. Good. She wanted to leave marks, leave bruises, leave reminders that he belonged to her.

"Mine," she nearly hissed as she bit down on his neck.

"Yeah," Chandler gasped. "A-all yours. J-just yours."

She continued to stroke him, again and again, until he spilled into her hand. He groaned out her name again as his breathing slowly returned to normal.

"I think you just broke me," he said before kissing her again. They slowly cleaned themselves before heading back under the covers. It had been a long time since anything like that had happened. And Monica told herself that they couldn't go through another dry spell like that again. She nuzzled up next to him as they both fell asleep.

Chandler didn't have a nightmare that night.

Author's Note: So if you're interested in the server then send me a message through or tumblr ( .com). Just make sure you don't send it as an anonymous message or as a guest or else I won't be able to send you a link. It has to be through you're actual account.