"Are they doughnuts?"

Peter chose not to answer the question. He salvaged what he could in the box and went about sheepishly picking up the mess he'd made as best he could.

Mohammad rolled his eyes fondly and pulled out his wand. A simple scourgify from the prefect had the floor and his hands tidied up. Peter spared him a shy glance from under his blonde fringe. He'd never had a run-in with the Gryffindor prefects yet - hopefully James could charm them out of trouble.

Mohammad certainly wasn't an unusually tall fifth year, but in comparison to the boys in front of him, he was intimidating enough. He had a serious, though not unkind, face and shiny dark hair. He raised an eyebrow at them and gave each of the first-years a hard stare.

"You have thirty seconds to give me a legitimate justification as to why the three of you are in the second floor corridor at quarter past ten with two boxes of doughnuts that I can only assume you've acquired from the kitchens." He crossed his arms and waited.

James opened his mouth, finger in the air ready for emphasis, but Peter beat him to it.

"We wanted to look in on Remus. You know, Remus Lupin?" Peter pulled a boldness from some untouched pit of his stomach and carried on. "McGonagall said we weren't to visit him, but someone said he'd been properly hurt, so we thought it'd be nice to… bring him a present?" He held up the worse-for-wear box of doughnuts for Mohammad to see, and adopted a grin to match James and Sirius.

Mohammad was not so easily won over by three cheesy grins from cheeky first years, but he had been told that one Remus Lupin was in rough shape in the hospital wing and had been advised by McGonagall to check in if he'd like anything brought from his dormitory and to look out for his nosey friends.

Seems she'd been spot on, in that prediction.

He sighed, knowing that he certainly would have broken curfew to sneak his little brother some treats had the situation been similar.

"Right, five points from us, because I'm not a soft-touch and fair's fair - you got caught. But I won't grass you up to McGonagall. Seem reasonable?"

James shrugged and nodded in agreement. "Fair's fair, I guess. Thanks."

Mohammad opened the door and gestured for the trio to lead the way out of the corridor and back onto the main staircase.

"As nice as it is to hear the first years are looking out for each other this much, I want you to consider that Professor McGonagall is a reasonable woman who wouldn't deny visitors to an unwell eleven year old out of sheer cruelty. It would do you good to consider what Lupin's own feelings are on the matter."

The boys shared a confused look, obediently allowing themselves to be ushered back up to the tower by the prefect. At the door to the dormitory, he continued to follow them, unexpectedly.

"Er, Mohammad?"

He followed them in and went to Remus' bed, picking up his school bag and peeking at the books inside.

"I was on the second floor because I went to see if Remus wanted anything to cure the boredom," he explained. "He asked for a couple of books he'd been reading."

"Oh." The three boys stood by their beds, watching blankly as Mohammad packed whatever books Remus had asked for into his school bag. He held out his hand towards Sirius.

"Would you like me to take these?" He offered, smiling kindly. Sirius wordlessly handed him the box, and Peter went to add his to the stack.

"Er, how's he doing?" James asked. "And do you know when he'll be back?"

Mohammad pulled Remus' bag over his shoulder and patted James on the head. "I'm sure if this was information you were allowed to have, Professor McGonagall would have told you. No doubt you've already asked her." The blush was enough confirmation.

"I'll tell him you were asking after him," he assured, and shut the dormitory door.

They stood where he had left them, listening to his footsteps descending the dormitory stairs.

James turned to the others, clearly back to plotting. "We could use the cloak - wait for Mo to go to bed and try again?"

This got mixed reactions. Peter looking baffled and Sirius turning the idea down very seriously.

"I don't think that's a good idea," Sirius said evenly. "Mohammad just said, Remus doesn't want visitors." It seemed that this had settled the matter for Sirius, but James was far from deterred.

"He just said that to stop us looking. Of course he wants visitors, he's probably bored out of his mind." James was speaking with his usual absolute certainty, but this time, it wasn't even enough to convince ever agreeable Peter to go along with him.

"No, I agree with Sirius. If he doesn't want visitors, we shouldn't go."

James wilted and dropped onto his bed in defeat, though he continued to winge to himself, "I personally would want to know my friends cared about me if I was ill."

Peter and Sirius ignored him, much more humbled by the implication of what Mohammad had said. They set about brushing their teeth and getting ready for bed, a little dejectedly.

Sirius was honestly embarrassed with himself. He hadn't even considered that Remus wouldn't want them - he'd allowed himself to get swept up in the excitement of the idea (and of course, Remus was a kind dorm-mate - it had been a nice idea). Only after the Gryffindor prefect had chastised them did he remember that one time he had spoken to Remus alone, before the Christmas holidays. He'd let Remus in on his secret, his cloak, just a little. Their shared secret. He'd almost walked all over it, completely disrespected it. The whole silent agreement had been I'll comfort you, and you comfort me, but we won't ask questions.

How betrayed would Remus have been, if he'd turned up, unannounced in the Hospital Wing?

Maybe as betrayed as he would feel, if Remus had sought out his older cousins and asked about his family.

Some things were best left alone.

Lily was not expecting a huge school barn owl to land in front of her at the breakfast table, scattering feathers into her bacon and eggs. It hooted (apologetically, she assumed) and held out its leg for her to untie the small letter attached.

She glanced at Dorcas (shovelling toast into her mouth) on her right and Mary (chatting to Marlene) on her left. She never got school post. Whenever mail came from either her parents or Ben, it arrived by Post Office owl, having gone through the muggle service first. Even Severus always met up with her in person, despite the apparent controversy.

She opened the letter as casually as possible and scanned it quickly.

Dear Miss Evans,

Please see me at the end of Transfiguration.

I have a matter of great importance to discuss with you.

Please don't fret - you are not in trouble.

Yours,

Professor McGonagall.

She returned the note to the envelope and pocketed it, feeling a little queasy. Despite the reassurance that she wasn't in trouble, she couldn't help but worry that something awful was afoot. Perhaps her latest piece of homework had been worryingly atrocious? Or Lucius had made a formal complaint to Slughorn about her and Severus' habit of sitting at each other's house tables? Or perhaps he had been right about the blood politics thing, and they were going to remove all the muggle-borns from Hogwarts?

Well, worrying about it wouldn't change the outcome. She pushed her ruined bacon and eggs and her worries away from her and stood, straightening her robes.

"Ready?"

Dorcas gave her a thumbs-up, swallowing hugely and brushing toast crumbs from her clothes.

"Yeah, let's get going. Come on girls - Charms first."

Lily had always found making friends easy, and she was happy to learn that it wasn't that much different in this hidden world. For all the talk about blood, and separation from muggles that Severus had to deal with, Lily had found her fellow students startlingly similar to her friends back home. Magic didn't make too much of a difference. They still talked too loudly in the school corridors, they still broke into fits of unsuppressable giggles in the middle of class, they still pushed each other over on the school fields to start play-fights.

Perhaps it was for the best that she wasn't in Slytherin with Sev. She was grateful for the relative simplicity of the Gryffindor Tower.

The girls breezed their way through charms (a compass charm, handy), and lined up obediently outside of the Transfiguration classroom, rooting in their bags for their homework in a last-minute panic.

Lily had hoped to see Remus join them again that morning after his mysterious stint in the Hospital Wing, but even by second class, Peter was still alone.

Lily watched McGonagall with an unusual intensity over the hour to try and see if there was anything off that would give her a clue to her summons, but the lesson went by as it always did. She and Mary were teamed up in a three with Peter, each trying to turn a wooden mothball into a glass marble.

When students started filing their way out, Lily lingered as requested. Mary tried to hover with her, but Lily assured her they'd meet up at break and then they were alone.

Professor McGonagall was quite a tall witch and stood an intimidating height next to Lily. It seemed this was obvious to her, as she pulled up a nearby chair and sat herself on the opposite side of Lily and Mary's desk.

"Thank you for waiting, Miss Evans. I hope I didn't worry you?"

Lily lied, assuring her she hadn't. "What's the problem, Professor?"

McGonagall sighed. Rather uncharacteristically, it seemed she was pondering on the right words.

"This concerns Mr Remus Lupin, I believe the two of you are friends?"

This had hardly been what she was expecting, but the worry she had pushed away at breakfast came flooding back in a crashing wave. She looked, wide eyed, at her professor - horrified.

"He's alright, isn't he?"

God, what if he'd really hurt himself (she was no fool, she knew the full moon had been two days ago). Or even if he had escaped, and hurt someone else?

"I won't lie and say he's unhurt, as you know, he's out of class at the moment. But I can assure you nothing dire has happened. This is more of a request." She interlocked her fingers on the desk between them and looked at Lily seriously.

"When Mr Lupin found out he would have to stay in the Hospital Wing for a few days, he asked Madame Pomfrey if he could have some company. She refused this, as his injuries are very… difficult to explain away. Remus then confessed that he had told you about his situation. Is this true?"

She didn't seem to be in trouble. McGonagall was sober, but not accusatory. Lily nodded her confirmation.

"He's not in trouble, is he?" Lily chewed her lip nervously. She had thought it had been a good thing that Remus had been able to confide in her, but now she regretted asking anything at all.

"I can hardly expect anything less from an eleven year old who has been isolated for so long. We rather expected that Remus might cave and tell another student. The reason I need to speak to you is to let you know the gravity of the situation. I understand that you have promised Remus to keep his secret, but what you might not know is that this secret is protecting him from more than just judgement or questioning. Remus would be unable to attend Hogwarts at all, if this information were to get back to the main student body. I'm aware that this is a lot of responsibility to give to you, Evans, but now that you know, I must make things clear. You may never disclose this to another student. You must take great care to not feed into rumours or speculation that might reveal him." McGonagall's gaze softened over her glasses.

"I'm sure I can trust you. You are a very prudent young girl."

Lily smiled earnestly, at the compliment, but also upon understanding more of the significance of Remus' confession. It was easy to assure her Head of House. This time, no lie was necessary.

"I wouldn't betray Remus, Professor. You can both trust me."

The Hospital Wing was very quiet. The second floor had a heavy door separating it from the main staircase, making it closed off from the noise of the rest of the school. McGonagall escorted her first year through the doors and handed her off to Madame Pomfrey, offering her a rare shoulder squeeze to show her pride.

Lily had never been to the second floor before. She had never had a reason to visit the Hospital Wing, after all. The windows were tall and impressive, letting in much of the remaining evening light. Despite that, she felt a little claustrophobic, like a mouse in a box. They were too high to see out of and it made her feel as though she were being watched.

Madame Pomfrey was a short witch who didn't bother to make small talk with Lily. She walked her around the corner, revealing the row of neat beds, each separated on one side by a small folding screen. One, at the end, was pulled all the way around, completely obscuring the occupant from view.

"Mr Lupin, you have a visitor," she called as they approached and some rustling could be heard. The matron's hand left her arm and Lily was left alone with the screen between her and her new friend. She dithered there, feeling useless, for a few seconds before Remus' soft voice called out.

"Lily?"

She pulled herself together and stepped around the screen. The pleasant smile she offered in greeting died on her face before she had the chance to conceal her shock.

Remus was sitting, cross legged, on top of the covers in a muggle t-shirt and cotton shorts. A fiction book lay open on the bed in front of him.

Remus was twig-limbed and scrawny, just as Dorcas was frizzy haired and freckled. It was just how he was, and she had never been alarmed by it before now. But sitting, more exposed than she'd ever seen him, it felt different.

There was the mangled ankle - she'd seen a glimpse of it before. Here it was in all its glory, the skin uneven and shiny, as though it had been chewed up and spat out many years ago.

She supposed it might've been.

More surprising was the long, thick scar that ran from his knee up his inner thigh, thankfully disappearing up the leg of his shorts. It was, at least, more nearly healed than the others - straight and uniform, but still brutal.

And there were the hands, the missing fingernail as before.

But the worst was his face.

A bright pink, angry looking set of four gouges ran from between his eyebrows, across his nose, barely missing his eye and down to his mouth. His right ear was a mess, it looked as though it had been shredded and pieced back together, and whatever had maimed it had carried on down his neck, gouges which seemed to start by the nape of his neck and finished at his jaw. His hazel eyes seemed tired, set in an unusually pale face.

"Sorry, I'm a bit grim, at the moment," he offered, weakly.

Lily sat wordlessly on the edge of the bed, green eyes still openly cataloguing the state of his face. Remus fiddled nervously with his own fingers, hope on his newly scarred face.

"What a mess you've made of yourself," she whispered. Remus gave her a small, guilty smile.

"Yeah, worst one in a good while, that's for certain." He marked his page and closed his book, putting it on the nightstand. Lily kicked off her shoes so she could mirror his cross-legged position.

"Will they go away?"

Remus looked away before answering. His smile seemed a little wobbly.

"I want to say yes, but no."

Lily sighed heavily, at a loss for anything to say to comfort him. In reality, they barely knew each other, having only spoken for the first time some five months before. But it was undeniable that the secret that lay open between them forced an unnatural closeness.

It meant a lot, to be trusted. Lily wouldn't handle him carelessly. After all, how dejected had she been at Petunia's loathing of a quirk which had turned out to be much more benign?

She opened her arms in a clear invitation and, after only a second's hesitation, Remus accepted, squeezing her tightly in return.

"Thanks, Lily. I know it's a lot, and that I shouldn't have told you. I was just getting a bit lonely, I suppose." Remus was looking at his hands again. Lily took a breath to compose herself, and tugged on his finger to get him to look at her. Her freckled face was stubborn and firm.

"Well, it's too late now, Remus. I asked and you told me. It is what it is." She shoved her fringe off her face a little aggressively and continued. "If you regret having someone who knows about the scary things, I'm sorry but I can't help you. I already care." Her face was so resolute, it was almost angry, and Remus had to laugh. He put an arm around her shoulders and hugged her fondly. It felt natural, the most natural any interaction outside of his family had ever felt.

"Thank you, Lily."

The two sat together, Lily steering the conversation away to the book that he was reading and opening a can of muggle fiction worms that kept them entertained for a good half hour, with Remus promising to lend her his copy of The Wishing Chair, Again if she would get her sister to send their copy of William the Lawless for him to read.

"This is all a bit like The Wishing Chair, I think, sometimes," Lily mused, playing absently with the end of her plait. "Because no one back home would believe half the stuff I'd say if I told them. I feel like I'm a bit mad sometimes."

Remus wondered what it must be like to have friends, then leave them for a completely different world. He supposed he was fortunate that way.

"I understand, I think. I feel like I have this secret world that's just mine, and no one can know about it, or they'd think I was a lunatic."

"Suppose we're both mental?" Lily suggested lightly, elbowing him.

They lapsed into silence and Lily took the opportunity to ask the obvious question.

"If the wounds won't heal, what'll you say when you come back to school? People will definitely ask."

Remus traced the gouges on his neck self consciously. "I suppose I'll have to tell people I went at the Whomping Willow or something," he mused. "I hope they'll look a bit less… fresh, in a few days, but it's not like I'll be able to hide them."

A thought passed unbidden through Lily's mind and she couldn't help but let out a snort of laughter. Remus looked at her, bemused.

"Sorry, I was just thinking of your prat dorm-mates," she explained. "Bet you'll be the model for Peter's new camera. They'll definitely think the scars are cool or something."

Remus was unconvinced. "I think they're maybe a bit too much to be cool-"

Lily cut him off. "No Remus, I knew boys like James Potter at my old school too - they're not exactly hard to figure out. You know for a fact if he had managed to get himself scarred up like that he'd be going around telling everyone he fought a shark and won…"

There was a wicked mirth in her eyes all of a sudden.

"Actually, the Whomping Willow story is great. If he thinks you went anywhere near it, he'll copy you for sure. Severus will get a good laugh out of that."

Remus decided to let the peek at her more savage side slide, after all, he was sure James and Sirius would jump at the chance to watch Snape get thwacked by the Willow. He didn't want to allow himself to even hope that his newest disfigurement would be met with anything other than wordless stares at best and outright name-calling at worst, but Lily was so certain that a little flicker of hope caught light.

Maybe his furry little problem didn't have to be the thing that pushed absolutely everyone away.

Well. He had some certain proof of that hypothesis. She was sitting right beside him.

This chapter spans two days and ruins my vibe - ugh. I should have added the little marauders bit to the end of last chapter but I was short-sighted.

Remus really did a number on himself this time, bless him.