WELCOME EVERYBODY TO THE THIRTY EIGHTH EDITION OF MY KICK-ASS STORY, KNOWN BY MANY AS, THE BATTLE CATS: X! WHICH IS A STORY BASED OFF OF THE HIT MOBILE GAME, THE BATTLE CATS! I HOPE YOU ENJOY WHAT I HAVE TO SHOW YOU!
It was a hot summers day over in Brazil. Bob is outside working out by pulling on some string attached to a gigantic tree on the ground. He is pulling it with all his might to make sure he can pull it out. Tank Cat sneaks up on him and surprises him before he could do any major progress.
Tank Cat: Hey there Bob! he pokes him as he waves at Bob
Bob: AHH! he falls onto the floor in fear as he looks at Tank Cat Oh, hey there, Tank Cat. What's up?
Tank Cat: Oh, I was just seeing what you were up to! You seemed REALLY focused on the weight lifting! So I didn't really want or bother you that much.
Bob: he hides the fact he nearly DIED thanks to Tank Cat Uhh, yeah. Thanks, Tank Cat. I suppose you were being as considerate as you could, so I really appreciate that man.
Tank Cat: I don't know where everyone else is... they all woke up a while ago, yet they aren't inside! Do you have any idea?
Bob: Maybe they're still in their rooms. I could be wrong though... he flicks his toothpick as he sighs
Tank Cat: You're RIGHT! I'll go try and find them... he rushes inside the Cat Base
The rest of The Battle Act are inside the Giant Safe room. Tank Cat is visibly confused as he steps inside and looks at everyone. Eventually, they all notice him and speak up.
Gross Cat: Oh hey Tank Cat! What are you doing here? he is flinging a Cat Food tin in the air as he looks at him
Tank Cat: No, the question is... what are YOU all doing here? he seems suspicious over how all the Cats excluding him are inside the Giant Safe
Bird Cat: Oh, we were sorting through some important documents inside the safe. It was initially Titan Cat and I, but everyone eventually butted in. You only just butted in now, and Bob is yet to make his way inside. So do not fret, you are not being excluded from anything.
Cat: Half of us are here for the CAT FOOD! he giggles as he stuff his face with the delectable treat
Bean Cat L: There's so much Cat Food in here! How coil you not turn it all down?
Titan Cat: J-just remember to eat them in scarcity. We don't want to lose our entire stock.
Fish Cat: his mouth stuffed with Cat Food tins MHM! Let's eat all these in scarcity! Only 200 tins a day.
Titan Cat: Why you little- he rolls up an invisible sleeve as he approaches Fish Cat
Lizard Cat: Hey now, I don't want to be that one guy or anything, but why the hell are we inside here doing nothing?
Cow Cat: That is because, we really, don't have anything to be doing. Apart from taking on that boss, but that's basically it.
Axe Cat: Is that what everyone is concerned about? That god damn BOSS!? We'll be able to take them down easily.
Bean Cat R: But Bob is mainly the one who settles the boss fights FOR us! So if we are missing him, then there's no way in hell that we're going to be able to take them on easily.
Axe Cat: Speaking of which, where the hell is Bob? he looks around with curiosity
Cat: He's outside, he's exercising with a rock... somehow.
Tank Cat: Let's go check on him! Bird Cat, you can continue with those documents while we're gone.
Everyone except Bird Cat rushes outside of the Giant Safe, Bird Cat just floats there, on his own. He is basically left to his own devices. He is pondering in his own world.
Bird Cat: Huh, they really left me to my own solitary. I believe that I should find a good book to read.
Meanwhile, outside, Bob is applying some sunscreen onto his face as he sees everyone rush outside and check on him.
Bob: Okay, where the hell is the bird? he smirks as he looks at everyone, he can clearly tell Bird Cat isn't there
Cow Cat: Woah, how the hell could you tell that Bird Cat wasn't there?
Bob: Eh, it's something special that I could do. Nem mesmo uma mosca desaparecida sairá do meu radar! (Not even a fly going missing will go out of my radar!) he flicks his toothpick as he cackles
Cat: Eh, of course, since we're in Brazil, Bob is speaking in Portuguese! he scoffs as he giggles away
Bean Cat R: Anyways, let's try and find all these enemies so we can justify kicking their asses! They will all cower in fear once they see us.
Lizard Cat: Especially with my embers NUKING the living shit out of them. They will cower like infants.
Cow Cat: he whacks Lizard Cat in the back of the head An infant doesn't even HAVE the ability to cower, you dumbass.
Lizard Cat: Oh, do we have a problem here? he approaches Cow Cat and glares at him
Titan Cat: You know what? Bob will look after you guys, I'm just going to finish covering documents with Bird Cat. he groans as he walks inside the Cat Base
Bob: I DID NOT AGREE TO TO ANY OF THIS! he sighs as he looks at everyone all look at him
Gross Cat: So Bob, what are we going to do on the battlefield, eh pal?
Bob: I don't know, kick ass? That's basically what we do for a living.
Axe Cat: Damn right it is! Oh-ho, we are going to be kicking their asses so hard, to the point where they'll be stuttering and shivering, even if it's 100F! (Or approx 38C)
Cow Cat: Come on already. Let's get going, before these enemies make their way to our Cat Base! It is going to cause a massive commotion if we don't get a move on.
And so, most of The Battle Act make their way inside The Cat Base and prepare for an epic showdown against these enemies. Eventually, Bird Cat and Titan Cat join them as they are all patiently waiting.
Bob: Say, don't mind it when I ask, but why the hell were you looking at documents!?
Titan Cat: Bills. Everyone pays them, just because we're cats, doesn't mean we can escape from the law, now, can we?
Bird Cat: Affirmative! We must pay off the debts that we owe, as well as rent. Despite the fact we are only here for approximately, 20 hours.
Fish Cat: At least the fuckers made it back. NOW LET'S GO AHEAD AND BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF THESE ENEMIES! he cackles loudly as he rushes towards The Enemy Base
The entire Battle Act make their way outside and take a good look at the enemy base. It is a stereotypical Brazilian base based off of your average samba parade. It contains a woman dressed up in a white costume and matching bra on top of two elephants. Confetti also floats around in the Enemy Base. It is a really detailed base and really depicts the carnival quite well, especially considering the whole base is made entirely out of wood.
Tank Cat: Ah, so this must be the Enemies' base. So this is basically where they all hanging out.
Cat: Yup, two unknown enemies are inside this base right here! So be prepared when finding out who they are.
Bean Cat L: They are probably plotting something interesting. We may never know unless we get a good look at them.
Inside the Enemy Base. The enemies are all messing around as they don't have anything better to do. Doge is listening to some music while resting on the sofa. Snache is watching a movie on the old black and white TV they somehow have. Those Guys are playing online games against some random players. Gory is meditating as he is drinking some rum. And Croco is drinking some soda as he begins to fall asleep. Eventually, a small figure comes running in at insanely high speeds. The figure ends up speaking in an old English dialect.
?????? ???: Good day there, gentlemen, what are thou all up to?
That Guy B: Oh, hey there Squire Rel! I love your old English dialect.
Squire Rel is basically your average white cartoonish squirrel. She has a really small body. Which is approximately the size of Those Guys. She has a large tail and small ears and nose. With hind legs similar to those ofB.B.Bunny. She also is the type to speak with an old English dialect. Which can leave several people confused at what she's trying to say.
Squire Rel: Why grammercy! I doth enjoy teaching English for the students at local English place of learnings.
That Guy A: "Doth?" Is that a combination between "Do" and "Don't"?
Squire Rel: she glares at That Guy A No, it is how I talk. Thou clearly do not understand.
Snache: Ah, I get it. You speak in a really old English dialect, I got it. I got it. he smirks as he continues to apply water colors
Doge: So... what exactly is going on over here? Why is everyone talking about Squire Rel and her old English dialect?
Squire Rel: They are talking about mine English because they seem interested 'i how I speak.
Gory: This noise is making it really hard to meditate, I hope you realize that? he grumbles as he looks at them with annoyance
Croco: Ah, Gory, how are you my man!? he cackles as he looks at Gory with interest
Gory: Why the hell do you care so much? he looks Croco up and down in confusion as he approaches him Just go back to your correspondence and soda drinking.
Croco: AW COME ON! I'm trying to act nice to you, yet here you are acting really ungrateful for it. he snarls as he backs away
?????: Hey, what are you all doing? I was just upstairs when I could literally hear you all talking about random nonsense because you FELT like it. he yawns as he flies towards them
Snache: Well, look who decided to wake up? It's none other than Mooth himself. he sneers as he nudges him
Mooth is actually a rather unique enemy. He serves as the boss in this battle, but he also has a trait unseen in any other enemy! That being, he's a Floating Enemy! Hence the green question mark. White Enemies are actually considered as Traitless, as Mooth is also white, yet he stands out from most other white enemies. He rocks your typical cartoonish moth body, except he has gigantic wings, with black design all over them, a circle, an "M" like shape, and a squiggle shaped spot. His eyes are also black donut shaped circles. He has a fluffy neck with different stripes across his body. And of course, we can't forget about his two antennas and six stubby little legs with singular claws at the bottom of each of them. Size wise, he is actually comparable to Sir Seal! Overall, he does look rather special in comparison to everyone else.
Mooth: Yeah, I woke up, what a big achievement, darlings. he rubs his eyes as he flies around the place
That Guy A: What the hell happened to you!? he stares in utter confusion
Mooth: Stickman, sweetie, whatever your name is, I was asleep! You could clearly tell by the bags underneath my eyes. he sighs as he drinks some coffee
Gory: Hey, at least we finally have our boss wave guy with us! Now we can efficiently take down The Battle Act now that you're here, and ready to rumble.
Squire Rel: Join on, we might not but take 'em down. she rushes right into Mooth
Doge: He is busy chugging some coffee, give him a moment. he watches as the moth is drinking coffee at a rapid rate
Mooth: Doge is a lot more observant than I thought he'd ever be. He's a dimwit, but he's a smart one.
Doge: Yeah... wait, WHAT KIND OF BACKHANDED COMPLIMENT WAS THAT!? he growls as he approaches him
Mooth: Honey, I can use the boss wave at any moment, and I can send all of you flying out of the Cat Base.
Doge: God damn it... he mutters under his breath as he backs away
Croco: Well, come on now, we have a bunch of enemies to take down! We must NOT let them get away. he cackles as he makes his way outside Come on now, we don't want these idiots to get out of our clutches.
That Guy C: SORRY! I was just in the bathroom, I drank some of Mooth's coffee.
Mooth: You WHAT!? he glares at That Guy C as he admits he drank the hot beverage
Snache: I'm not going to get involved with any of this idiotic bullshit.
Doge: Yeah, I'm bouncing. he sighs as he backs away awkwardly, tripping over Snache in the process
The entire enemy army steps out of The Enemy Base as the members make their way outside. Eventually, The Battle Act see who the boss is, they seem confused as to the Green Question mark.
The Entire Battle Act par Bob and Bean Cats simultaneously: MOOTH!? HOW COME YOU'RE THE BOSS?
Bob: Who the hell is "Mooth"? he flicks his toothpick as he cracks his neck
Bean Cat R: I don't know, but he looks strong! And check out that squirrel.
Bean Cat L: We are so fried. he gulps in fear as the enemies make themselves visible
Mooth: I suppose you guys were excited when seeing my arrival, weren't you? he smirks as he flies towards them
Cat: Wait Mooth, can you answer a question I had for a few years now? he grabs his Log Book
Mooth: Yeah? What's up? he seems genuinely interested as he lowers himself towards The Log Book
Cat: Oh yeah, I was wondering... Why is your "Unknown Enemy Question Mark" is green, while everyone else's is either white or red?
Mooth: Isn't it obvious, sweetie? he smirks as he flaps his wings, giving away the most prominent hint
Cat: OOH, I KNOW! You're a bug. Bugs are usually associated with the color green, so it only makes sense that you're green.
Mooth: he pounces onto Cat and whacks him back No, you idiot! I'm green by question mark, for the fact I'm a Floating Fighter! The white ones indicate Traitless, where they are neither a unique color, nor flying, nor a unique enemy overall. Bland enemies really.
Doge, Snache, Those Guys, Gory, Croco, and Squire Rel simultaneously: HEY!
Mooth: Oh shut up! You know it's true. Now, who is this gigantic human right in front of my very eyes? he looks down onto Bob with genuine interest
Squire Rel: Oh, the Human! I do forget about him. Who are thou?
Bob: Hey there, gigantic flying moth, and squirrel who makes me regret ever learning English! I suppose I should introduce myself to you guys, huh?
Mooth: he giggles away Oh do tell, do tell, Human! I'm all ears for you.
Bob: Yeah sure. Eu sou Roberto Mourinho Jablovskyy. (I am Roberto Mourinho Jablovskyy) I'm also known as Bob. Because it's fair to assume you're neither Brazilian, nor Portuguese, nor are you two from an abroad Portuguese speaking country. I am 16 years old, and if you couldn't tell already, I am Portuguese. I come from Lisbon, where my mother sent me on a boat to a disciplinary camp in North Korea. But the boat ended up going on the wrong currents, and I ended up making my way to South Korea instead. It's basically my main reason for meeting The Battle Act and eventually joining them. So, that's all about me, tell me about you.
Squire Rel:she clears her throat Mine name is Squire Rel. I am a rusher of the Authorial Association. I reach speeds not seen by any other fighter! Maugre the fact I only attack one at a time, I apace compose mine way though any foe I join up against. I also school English at the place of learning near mine local station. I be sure we shall compose great opponents.
Mooth: Yeah, the second any non-Mother tongue English speaker talks to her for like, more than ten minutes, they begin to internally scream. But I suppose that does leave room for the better fighter to tell you all about him! My name is Moto, and I am a midrange Floating fighter of the Authorial Association. Just like Le'Boin, I can use others to soak damage for me as my own personal Meat Shields! Though not as fast, I can actually fly at rapid speeds! Tying with Kang Roo as the third fastest of the Authorial Association. Only to be behind B.B.Bunny and Squire Rel respectively. If there's anything I hate more than The Battle Cats Association, is nature. See, back when I was a larva, I always had dreams about becoming a beautiful butterfly. But nature had to be a prick and decided to turn me into a MOTH! So I often like to scare away nature protesters by telling them how they ruined me. Oh you should see the looks on their faces, darling.
Bob: Heh, I don't think your ugly, you look great for a moth. he cracks his knuckles
Mooth: he blushes as he hides behind his wings Oh stop it! You're too kind...
Doge: Yeah, we're been waiting for ages, can we begin to kick some ass already?
Snache: I highly doubt that The Boss Wave will ever happen.
Gory: Just be patient, the reward will eventually come. We just have to wait for it.
Croco: Come on you damn floater! JUST GIVE THEM THE BOSS WAVE.
Mooth: Alright, if that is what you want, the boss wave is what you'll get. he sighs before flapping his wings HERE COMES THE BOSS WAVE! Squire Rel, run after I perform it!
Squire Rel: I am content to charge under thy command! she nods as she stretches
The Battle Begins! Mooth performs a Boss Wave, which results in every single Battle Act member to go flying. Squire Rel does her command as she zooms at top speeds towards The Cat Base. Cow Cat rushes towards Squire Rel, however, since Squire Rel is just as fast, if not faster because of her light weight, she successfully makes it inside The Cat Base.
Cow Cat: God damn it! This is the issue with dealing with Squire Rel! She's just as fast as I am, so when it comes to a boss wave, you never know how far she'll make it inside The Cat Base.
Squire Rel: she cackles away menacingly as he glares at Cow Cat It seems thou hast failed to forbear me 'i time. Now, I shall take all thy precious buffs.
Cow Cat: he grumbles as he blocks her Oh no you don't... you dumbass squirrel.
Squire Rel: Rise of the way and allow me past! she grumbles as she tries to go underneath him
Cow Cat: No thank you, I think I'm fine with you whining at me like that. he smirks before head butting her out of The Cat Base Yeah... now stay back, and let me make things easier for you.
Squire Rel: Agh, thou bastard! Thou shall pay for this. she cough up some blood as she weakly gets up and glares at Cow Cat
Cow Cat: Oh come on! Why do you feel the need to be playing hard to get? I preferred it when you walked with your tail in between your legs. he shrugs as he looks down on her Without your speed, I don't see how you came to be a Senior Tier member of the Authorial Association.
Squire Rel: Erm... she thinks as she stares blanklyinto an empty void Because of mine ability to regard?
Cow Cat: Tsk. You know what I think? PATHETIC! he rushes towards her once more and bashes into her head
Squire Rel: she lands on her face as she bleeds out from her nose, her tail is crushed, and her stomach is covered in bruises Oh dear, it very seems thus just might be the end for me.
Cow Cat: I'm sorry, "thus"? IT'S A WORD, BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT MEANS! I'm not smart... he scoffs before charging right into her and head butting her once more, she goes unconscious almost instantly And THAT, is how you perform a kick ass finale to an attack. he cackles away as he leaves the scene
Meanwhile, Bob is taking on the responsibility of facing against Mooth. Just like how Cow Cat and Squire Rel are on par with their speed, Mooth and Bobshare an equal speed. Therefore their clashes will be equal in potential. Mooth starts off his attack be ascending high into the sky, and pouncing right down onto Bob. This results in his chest being crushedfrom the impact of the whole attack. He barely manages to stand himself up as he looks at Mooth with a cocky smile before slowly walking his way towards him.
Bob: Hah, your dumbass thought you could get rid of me? You must be in a lucid dream, my friend.There's no way that you're in reality.
Mooth: Oh Bob, sweetie, I am trying my hardest to make sure you go down! It is my duty as a Senior Tier member of the A.A.!
Bob: Oh yeah, Esqueci que você era um desses, Mariposa! (Brazilian Portuguese for: I forgot that you were one of those, Moth!) I can speak the Brazilian half of Portuguese too, buddy.
Mooth: Ah I see, so you're a trilingual, English, and two types of Portuguese which are basically different languages entirely!
Bob: Basically. he smirks But I also speak Spanish, so... Siéntate, por favor. (Spanish for: Sit down, please)
Mooth: I believe you asked me to sit down, sweetie. But there is no way I'm doing that. The grass is dirty and wet, how would I be supposed to protect the Carnival Costumes?
Bob: Touché, my fellow fighter, touché. he flicks his toothpick as he readies his fists
Bob rushes towards Mooth and bashes his face in with his fists. This results in Mooth flying upwards as the uppercut did some nasty damage to his jaw. Bob manages to jump and jab Mooth right on the fluffy neck area of his body. Bob begins to rush towards Mooth who is bleeding all over his face.
Mooth: Did you seriously believe I was going to go down after those hits? he glares at Bob who just smirks away Sometimes, you meat heads are just the most adorable things ever.
Bob: he grumbles in embarrassment I'm not adorable... AND I'M NOT A MEAT HEAD! he scoffs as he makes his way towards Mooth You wouldn't understand.
Mooth: he scoffs as he crosses his arms So you think I wouldn't understand? You are hilarious, kid.
Bob: You seriously believe I'm hilarious? Look at you, you're a giant moth!
Mooth: I am aware, Bob. he sighs in disbelief before pouncing at him BUT PREPARE TO SUFFER!
Bob: Alright fine, come at me and show me what you got. he smirks as he approaches Mooth
Mooth soars right into Bob and bashes him onto the ground. He bleeds out as he grabs himself before rushing right into Mooth. Despite his arm bleeding like hell and his chest having a large wound. He bashes Mooth's head right onto the ground. He goes unconscious almost instantly. Bob cackles away before gently yet firmly kicking Mooth to guarantee he is unconscious.
Bob: Alright, what a result! he smirks at Mooth Now I better go find the others before they start going shut without me.
Elsewhere, Snache is going up against Tank Cat and Fish Cat. Snache bites right into Fish Cat's gills behind his ears. This results in said gills to get crushed as they begin to bleed. Tank Cat puts a stop to it by pushing Snache and flattening him before he can do anything worse.
Snache: Get off me, you fatass. he grumbles as he tries to pull Tank Cat off him
Tank Cat: This is what happens when you mess with Fish Cat! I will flatten you as an act of vengeance. he giggles as he looks up at Fish Cat
Fish Cat: OH YEAH! Thanks a lot, Tank Cat, I really appreciate you doing that for me.
Tank Cat: You're welcome, consider it as a thank you for letting me watch my show live while you recorded yours. Don't worry, I'll let you experience your show live next time they clash.
Fish Cat: Heh, I do appreciate it a lot. Honestly, I believe I never shown you enough gratitude, but, I am grateful for your existence, Tank Cat!
Tank Cat: Aw, stop it. You're making me feel flattered. he giggles as he nudges Fish Cat
Snache: Can the two of you be any more buddy-buddy? I swear we should put the two of you into a music video.
Fish Cat: OOH! Good idea, Snache. Uhh... do you know how to compose? Neither of us know, most of The Battle Act doesn't know, I'm pretty sure Bob and Bean Cats don't know, and every other enemy will refuse to compose for us.
Snache: he scoffs You two take jokes way too literally. he groans as he tries to escape Tank Cat's slam
Tank Cat: Slamming is my specialty. I always know how to slam down onto enemies.
Snache: Ugh, I believe I could tell. But CAN YOU PLEASE GET OFF ME! he squirms around
Fish Cat: I won't let you get off Tank Cat, I'm keeping a good eye on you, pal! he kicks Snache in the face as he cackles loudly, and shows off his sharp talons
Snache: Why are you friends with this sociopath? he looks at Tank Cat in fear
Tank Cat: Because I don't have much of a choice really. But he is a big softy once you get to know him.
Snache: I've known him for YEARS! He's clearly a psycho.
Tank Cat: I thought you said he was a s- gets interrupted by Snache
Snache: HE'S BOTH! Okay? he grumbles OW! Stop pressing on me so God damn hard! I swear, I would have broken a rib.
Meanwhile, Doge is facing off against Axe Cat and Lizard Cat, who have him in a vulnerable position. With Axe Cat acting as a meat shield for his long ranged buddy, he rushes up to Doge and slashes his body with his axe. This results Doge in having a sharp slash across his chest. Doge eventually rushes right into Axe Cat and bites onto his right cheek, this results in his cheek to get crushed and bleed out.
Doge: Hah! How do you feel now I'M the one biting YOU? he smirks as his tail begins to rapidly wag in amusement
Axe Cat: Agh... he grabs his cheek as he shoves Doge off him
Lizard Cat: Say, do you want me to deal with this guy? he smirks as he looks down onto Axe Cat and Doge
Axe Cat: YEAH! Go ahead and burn his face off. Show him what hell feels like. Rather literal, as hell is fire. And some of it is going to land on your face.
Doge: Ah yes, make a joke RIGHT BEFORE MY FACE IS GOING TO GET BURNED OFF.
Axe Cat: It is really funny to watch though, you have to admit that.
Doge: he stutters N-NO! Why would it be funny to watch?
Lizard Cat: Because you're our enemy, Doge. What else is there to say? he smirks as he strokes Doge's head with his tail
Doge: he calms down Oh... that feels good, keep going! Right behind the ear.
Lizard Cat: Yeah... now, all I want you to do is embrace the fire you'll be receiving on your face. And I don't want you to begin screaming and shouting at the mention of the words "fire", or "ember", do you understand?
Doge: he weakly replies as his ears flatten I understand...
Lizard Cat: Good, good... he smirks before backing away
Axe Cat: Oh shit... he's doing his weird magic again. he lowers himself down so he doesn't get torched to death
Lizard Cat: Just like that. he sends a fire ember right into Doge's face, which blisters and burns
Doge: AHH, AHH, AHH! My face is on fire! he runs around in fear, and in pain
Lizard Cat: WHAT DID I JUST ASK YOU NOT TO DO? he groans as he sighs in failure
Axe Cat: Actually, you only asked him not to scream over the words "fire", and "ember". Matilda knows, not just me.
Lizard Cat: Oh, you and your girlfriend for an axe can reserve a room and make out already!
Axe Cat: SHE IS NOT MY GIRLFRIEND! I mean... IT is not my girlfriend! he blushes as he pokes Lizard Cat
Lizard Cat: Is it me, or is it getting really hot in here? he smirks as he continues nudging Axe Cat and teasing him
Doge: YOU SPASTIC LITTLE RUNT! You will pay for bruising and blistering my face with your flames.
Axe Cat: he duels out his axe as he nods at Lizard Cat Hey, allow me to show this dog who his owner is. Yeah, I OWN YOU!
Doge: No you don't. You'll never understand who my "owner" is, because I DON'T HAVE ONE!
Axe Cat: Continue to spread around your lies, it will bring you a lot of popularity and respect in life. he rushes towards Doge
Doge: Oh fuck... he gulps in fear as he looks at Axe Cat charging at him with full force
Doge begins to back away, but Axe Cat outruns him as he pounces right onto him and slashes his back with his axe. This results in a huge cut would to appear as he falls onto the floor bleeding and unconscious. Lizard Cat pounces on Axe Cat and the two stare at Doge.
Axe Cat: Well, look at that, we brought that dumbass down.
Lizard Cat: Damn right we did, now let's find the e others and help them out.
And the two begin to walk away together. Meanwhile, Gory is going up against Cat and Bird Cat in a kick ass duel. Gory begins his half of the attack by rush in right into Cat and bashing his head in. This results in Cat bleeding out as he takes all the damage. He is also covered in bruising from Gory's hits. Bird Cat comes in and swoops right into Gory's chest. Which results in his torso to bruise up as he stumbles backwards right into the Enemy Base.
Gory: Heh, not bad for a bunch of wusses. he smirks as he wipes his face You'll experience hell very shortly, just you wait and see.
Cat: Really? That big bruising on your chest proves otherwise. despite the fact he's coughing up blood, he manages to retain a grin as he looks up at Gory
Gory: You're not funny, jackass. he grumbles as he slowly begins to approach Cat and Bird Cat
Bird Cat: Well, according to a hypothesis I came up with, we will be performing an all out launch on offense in order to take you down and remain victorious enough to obtain the Carnival Costumes treasure variants!
Cat: Do you see that? Bird Cat knows what he's doing! he giggles away as he leans on Gory and smirks
Gory: Oh, what would you know about fighting? All you do is read and mutter pure nonsense. he takes a swig of his rum as he looks at them It's not like you can beat me or anything...
Cat: Yeah we can! Do you know why that is? It's because we have teamwork! And as the old saying goes, "Teamwork makes the Dream Work!". he giggles as he looks at Gory and pushes his right knee
Bird Cat: You bet! The two of us would be capable of doing the right thing and making sure enemies like yourself get eliminated. I'll admit, I used to look down on Cat, but ever since Bob came along and showed us what he's capable of, we can't help but admire the little guy!
Gory: Alright, that is very... interesting information that you decided to give me. And I thank you for that. he backs away, clearly uncomfortable as he cracks his knuckles
Cat: Oh, don't worry! We'll make this process very easy for you to endure. It will only take your cooperation in order to properly execute it.
Bird Cat: So, just sit back, position yourself in an appropriate position. And allow us to proceed with the little "experiment" of ours.
Gory: he is silent for a few seconds before speaking up HEY! FUCK THIS. I am stop stopping down to this level of disrespect.
Cat: Okay, you're only making this harder and more painful for yourself. he giggles before pouncing onto Gory and biting his left leg, which causes it to spew out blood and bleed everywhere Heh, how's that for a bloody masterpiece!? he giggles at his punchline
Bird Cat: Cat! We can't obtain the time necessary to pull off a punctual piece of humor! We must obliterate Gory once and for all. Well, for this battle at least.
Gory: AGH! Fuck this man... it hurts so God much. he groans in pain as he grabs his knee
Bird Cat: Well, right now, it is too late for us to lend you a bit of pity! So you will be busted by us very shortly. Just you wait and see...
Bird Cat swoops in and pounces right into Gory's face. This results in him being knocked out as he lands on a rock and cracks his head. He bleeds on the rock, but the injuries aren't severe enough to cause any permanent damage. Bird Cat lands down swiftly as he checks up on Cat.
Bird Cat: Hey there, Cat, are you alright? Did the injuries that you sustained today do any irreversible damage?
Cat: Well, no, I doubt that actually happened to me. But thanks Bird Cat! Especially at what you just told me a few minutes ago, I really appreciate it. he smiles softly as he giggles away
Bird Cat: The pleasure is all mine, Basic Cat, the pleasure is all mine.
Cat: WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT USING MY FULL NAME? he growls as he begins to chase him around, to Bird Cat's humor
Elsewhere, Gross Cat and Titan Cat are partaking in some intense combat as the two of them are going up against none other than Croco. Titan Cat is acting like a meat shield for Gross Cat as he approaches Croco and starts his attack. He begins by slamming his fists right into the crocodile. This results in Croco coughing up blood as he stumbles backwards from the impact. His back being crushed as his jaw bleeds slowly. Gross Cat doubles down by slapping Croco right across the face. This makes Croco get slapped back right onto the ground as he barely manages to make his way back up.
Gross Cat: Say, why are the two of us, the TALLEST Cats in existence going up against a tiny little wuss like him. I have to tilt my head down so much to the point where a double chin ends up forming ANOTHER double chin.
Titan Cat: he rubs his forehead to make himself look annoyed, but he's secretly intruiged Is that the case?
Gross Cat: YEAH! He's as tall as Squire Rel is. So, it really hurts when you look at him. he smirks as he tilts his head all the way downwards, which results in a double chin and a double chin on the initial one to form
Titan Cat: Sheesh, is that really the case? he sighs before doing the same, and his neck/chin doing the exact same thing Oh my God, I can literally feel it.
Croco: he seems offended, (and scared of the faces) WHY DO THE TWO OF YOU FEEL THE NEED TO BE MAKING FUN OF MY HEIGHT?
Titan Cat: God damn it, can you quit acting like a snowflake for I don't know... five minutes!? he rushes towards Croco and kicks him in the face, this results in Croco flying backwards and landing on his head
Croco: Ow... he rubs his eyes, which are both blackened out from the impact, he coughs up some blood before looking at Titan Cat You literal monster. I'm going to beat your asses for that. And I'm not playing around here.
Gross Cat: Ooh, looks like someone is having a temper tantrum! he giggles away before kicking Croco once more, this results in Croco bleeding some more as his jaw dislocates Oh, this NEVER gets old. I don't know why that is, but it's just so God damn funny.
Titan Cat: Yeah. Just be careful not to piss him off too much, or else they can have strengths that go WAY beyond your expectations. Trust me, I've experienced shit like this.
Croco: Oh. Have you? Well, I never thought wankers like yourselves were capable of spectating people go through strength surges like that before.
Gross Cat: I have, and it was ABSOLUTELY TERRIFYING! his legs begin to shake as he quivers in fear
Titan Cat: he whacks Gross Cat in the back of the head Hey, knock it off, will you? Can't you see I'm trying to focus on making sure this dumbass gets busted here.
Gross Cat: he mumbles under his breath Sorry...
Croco: Okay, I'm sorry, but this is way too funny! I think I'm about to piss myself. he cackles loudly
Titan Cat: Oh, you are not getting away with this you know? he delivers a blow right onto Croco's head, which results in him flinging backwards and going unconscious almost instantly Now, let's meet up with everyone else, by the way, Bean Cats are busy dealing with Those Guys.
Gross Cat: Right! Let's go ahead and grab the Carnival Costumes treasure variants once they're done. he smirks as he begins to walk away
And finally, this leaves us to witness Bean Cats take on Those Guys in a kick ass battle of the millennium! Those Guys are all piling up on the poor kitties and are slapping the livingshit out of them! That Guy A eventually speaks up as he is kicking the Bean Pod with his tiny stick feet.
That Guy A: Okay, listen everyone! LISTEN UP! We are going to show these Cats who their bosses are. And that means we may or may not have to push ourselves to the limits.
That Guy C: Oh yeah! You got it, dude! Just let me try and find a good area to begin slapping...
Bean Cat L: he hisses as he backs away I'm not liking this, not one bit! These dumbass enemies really know how to drive on someone's nerves.
Bean Cat R: I couldn't have said it better, my bean pod pal! he gulps in fear But they are still smart guys, they're able to pull off any shenanigans that come up to their HEARTS content! So we should not mess with them.
That Guy B: I see you Cats are talking about us? What is so interesting that you are trying to hide from us, huh? Is it a secret plan against us or something!?
Bean Cat L: What? No! It's not a secret plan. How could we even come up with a perfect plan with such scares time like this? he raises an eyebrow
That Guy A: I'm telling you, it's very possible! And it can make everyone hate your guts as a result. Because you managed to come up with a good plot at such little time, everyone is jealous. So I'd suggest backing away, and being quiet.
Bean Cat R: Or what? he smirks as he climbs out of the bean pod and towers over him
That Guy A: Perhaps I didn't word it right. ahem YOU ARE ACTING LIKE A LOSER WHO CAN'T PULL BITCHES, SO YOU ARE TRYING TO ACT TOUGH AND SMART JUST TO SCARE US! When in reality: You are a sad idiot who will most likely die alone.
That Guy C: Yeah! What he just said, you are a bunch of losers. he giggles away
Bean Cat L: You two, take back everything you just said... now. he looks up at them coldly
That Guy A: Or what? Are you going to do what we did to you, to us!?
Bean Cat L: Basically that, yeah! he smirks as he looks at the poor stickman
Those Guys simultaneously: AHH!! they all run away in fear
Bean Cat R: They easily outrun us. DAMN IT! When we thought we were at a decent enough advantage, something HAD to occur to ruin basically everything.
Bean Cat L: Don't worry, we can sort through them soon.
Bob: Hey, do you guys need help with something? he flicks his toothpick as he rummages his hands through their heads
Bean Cats simultaneously: BOB! they hug his hands as they nuzzle into the petting
Bob: Hey, what's up? Are we going to catch those cowardly bastards, or what?
Bean Cat L: Yeah! Let's go get them!
Bob grabs Bean Cats as he begins to charge right after Those Guys, he then proceeds to fling them right into them. They all bleed out from their heads as they stumble on the floor. They all go pale in confusion as they look up to see who exactly caused this to happen to them.
That Guy C: What the fuck was that? Was it a monster?
That Guy A: The answer is both yes and no! It's none other than BOB! Everyone, run away in fear.
Bob: Oh no you don't, GET BACK HERE, YOU WUSSES! he proceeds to charge right after them and kicks them all in the head, they all go unconscious instantly Phew, that sure shows the dumbasses what not to do in a situation like this...
Bean Cat R: You're surely one of the best fighters, if not, the best fighter I know! he giggles as he bounces towards him
Bob: Well, what can I say? It only requires a lot of courage and strength in order to pull off what I can.
Snache: FREEDOM! Now, quit lying on me, Tank Cat! Your crotch is pressing hard on my tail. he coughs up some blood as he backs away
Tank Cat: Aw, fine, I'll leave you alone! Bye Snache! he giggles away before waving
Snache: he sighs Goodbye, Tank Cat. he mutters as he leaves him be
Fish Cat: Aw, he's gone already! I thought we could have more fun at teasing him. he sighs in disappointment as he walks away
Cow Cat: Okay, let's go get this Carnival Costumes Treasure already. he smirks away as he begins rushing right into The Enemy Base as he retrieves the Inferior, the Normal, and the Superior Carnival Costumes treasure variants Okay, look at that! We surely showed these enemies what's up.
Lizard Cat: Okay, well, that was pretty badass if you ask me. Now, let's head back inside the Cat Base, it is getting pretty dark out. he sighs as he looks up at the night sky
The Battle Act makes their way inside after a long day of ass kicking. They all begin to tend to their wounds as they rest their worn out bodies from the damage they received. Eventually, after a while, Bob speaks up.
Bob: Say, where are we all going to next? And what are the treasure and enemies like?
Cat: Well, tomorrow marks the final journey we need to make in order to obtain the Legendary Cat Sword! So that is pretty epic! he flicks through his trusty Log Book Okay, tomorrow, we are all going to Argentina to obtain the Beef treasure variants! And the enemies we will be facing include; Doge, Snache, Those Guys, Jackie Peng, Gory, Sir Seal, and Squire Rel! So everyone, be prepared for what's to come, we do not know what these enemies are capable of, so we should be safe, rather than be sorry.
Axe Cat: Yeah, I'm going to hit the bedroom. Come on Tank Cat, let's sleep now.
Tank Cat: Woah, HEY! I'm trying to drink some warm milk here, let me go!
And so, all of the Cats (Tank Cat forcefully) make their way into their bedrooms to sleep. Concluding once again, another day of combat! Today was a rather intense one, as they went up against an unknown boss, and an unknown rusher. But they are inching towards their final goal, to obtain the ultimate treasure! Now The Battle Act needs to be prepared for what's to come in the future, as it will not be an easy task to get ready. All we can do for now is root for them, and hope they can obtain a successful victory against these enemies once and for all. Now we shall let them fall asleep, and dream amazing dreams!
TO BE CONTINUED
Nicely done! Thirty eight editions DONE! Now, saying a lot happened, is an UNDERSTATEMENT at its FINEST! Because we met up with two enemies, as they debuted here, just like they did in the canon game. Here, both Squire Rel and Mooth made their first appearances in this story. And I made sure I knew exactly how to perfect their personalities in this little fiction. I tried to remain as accurate to the source material as possible, while also making it readable and enjoyable! I hope you like the final product.
Stay tuned for what's to come very soon!
The Battle Cats (2014) and its respective characters and features are all owned by Ponos Corporation.
The character Bob is owned by me, however feel free to use him, just as long as it's for free and you credit the owner.
This story is 100% unofficial and could be considered as Fan Made.