WELCOME EVERYBODY TO THE TWENTY SIXTH EDITION OF THE KICK-ASS STORY BASED OFF OF THE HIT MOBILE GAME. KNOWN BY MANY SIMPLY AS, THE BATTLE CATS: X! THIS IS WHERE TWO ARCS COLLIDE WITH ONE ANOTHER, AS IT MARKS THE BEGINNING OF THE SUPER REGISTER ARC, AS CONFIRMED IN THE CANON GAME. IT WILL ALL BE EXPLAINED IN THE AUTHOR'S NOTE. AND MAYBE IN THE ACTUAL STORY ITSELF!) SO FOR NOW, JUST ENJOY THE STORY!
It was a relaxing morning in Spain. The Battle Act members are spending their free time by enjoying a moment playing a bit of poker. There is huge tension over who will be able to bring in all the Cat Food! Everyone seems determined to win except Bob, as he isn't a Cat and doesn't obsess over the food. Eventually, after a while of drawing. Gross Cat goes all in with his Royal Flush! And wins the match of poker.
Lizard Cat: WHAT!? How the hell did you manage to win that game of poker?
Tank Cat: He has to be some sort of poker demigod or something...there's no way someone can easily just batch in a win like that and call it a day.
Cow Cat: This is why I hate poker... I can never win in a single God damn match!
Gross Cat: Ah yes, cry harder gentlemen...I love embracing your tears.
Bean Cat L: No one here is crying. his voice breaks as he sniffs What are you talking about?
Cat: He's tall! He can see over everyone's cards and he used that to cheat. he huffs as he places down his cards
Titan Cat: Counter point. I'm tall, I couldn't see any of the cards, and I got a shitty deck right here. I got no good cards... he sighs as he leans back
Gross Cat: Why, thank you Titan Cat. he smirks as he greedily takes all the Cat Food
Bob: I nearly had a royal flush going there. I had a Straight with an Eight, Nine, Ten, Jack, and Queen.
Fish Cat: Wow! That isn't too bad there...I don't think I had any sort of a decent hand.
Gross Cat: That's because you're ass at poker! he smirks as he gets up
Fish Cat: What did you say to my face!? he looks at Gross Cat confused and pissed off
Axe Cat: Well, good game there fellas! But I'm afraid I want to kick ass now. I need some combat, otherwise I'd pass out and die.
Cat: Heh, typical stuff there, Axe Cat. he smirks as he gets up
Axe Cat: Cat, shut the fuck up, I didn't ask for your forbidden opinion. Now I have to sharpen up Matilda. Because we're facing Sir Seal today!
Bird Cat: Well, I may have lost, but I have gained knowledge in the world of gambling. You never win! Now, I'm going to go and take a well deserved nap before our attack on the enemy base.
Gross Cat: Yeah...run off and take your little nap. I'm going to show these off to Sir Seal and the other enemy.
Bob: Ok, vá e faça isso, amigo! (Okay, go and do it, buddy!) Yeah, I suppose I should be exercising for that Senior Tier enemy...they're either really powerful, really fast, or really tanky, or a balanced combination of two or three of them! he flicks his toothpick as he begins doing squats with a rock on his back
Titan Cat: How the actual fuck is he doing that? he stares in disbelief as he stands up and tries to do the same thing
Suddenly, our good friend, Gamatoto comes out and gives out bad news, and good news to The Battle Act. He seems to be disappointed after doing some research about the treasure. He ends up speaking out and grabbing everyone's attention.
Gamatoto: Okay, good news, I FOUND MORE BRICKS! he dumps a huge pile of bricks on the ground And it's time for the Bad News. The Spanish Passion treasure is not valid for purchasing the Smart Material Wall! I tried to steal it myself by scanning it across a register, and it failed, so consider saving it up for another, more essential purchase. Okay?
Cat: he's confused and pissed, he rushes and shakes Gamatoto WHAT TO DO YOU MEAN IT WON'T BE VALID? Surely it must be acceptable. Right? Can someone please back me up...?
Tank Cat: Yeah, I suppose that does make sense. All of our purchases so far have been suspiciously...linear, so of course there will be bumps in the road. But I think we should save up for a Super Register! Where we can store all of our financial assets, and check how valuable treasure can be.
Lizard Cat: Hey, that's actually, not a bad idea. I'm actually surprised of how genius it is. Yeah, let's do it. he smirks as he pushes Tank Cat out of the way
Cow Cat: Alright! And if it's the same case again, we can save up for the Super Register even further, and eventually, we'll buy one of them, and then BOTH of them!
Bob: Alright, thanks for the bricks, Gamatoto! How much do we owe you?
Gamatoto: Well, I'm not a genius on finances or anything...but I believe the Cat Food from that pile should pay me well. he points at the Cat Food pile from the poker game
Gross Cat: WHAT!? There is no way in eternity that you'll get your greasy little paws on my hard earned Cat Food. You're having a real laugh now.
Gamatoto: Hand it over, or you're not getting these bricks! TIMMY, TOMMY, help me with this bag. the two small Kittens come and pick up the bag
Timmy: It's...heavy...he struggles to maintain the weight of the Cat Food in the bag
Gamatoto: I don't give a fuck! Carry it back to the van, this Cat over here refuses to pay his debt. So we're confiscating their most recent brick delivery until they pay us. So long, Battle Act! he drives away in his van, going out into the distance
Gross Cat: What do we even do with these bricks? We have so much of them, yet I don't know what to do with them...
Axe Cat: I don't know either, they just look really pretty. Don't blame us. he smirks as he continues to stare into the pile being taken away They could be useful in the future, so that's why we've been saving up on these bad boys.
Fish Cat: IT'S WEIRD YET I LOVE IT, MAN! he cackles at the huge pile of bricks they've been saving up It reminds me of red enemies in a way, don't you think?
Bob: Yeah, well, the bricks are red, Pigge and Sir Seal are Red, you might be on to a decent conspiracy theory! he snaps his fingers at Fish Cat
All off the other Cats just laugh at Fish Cat for believing in such a blatantly stupid theory. In a way you practically pity Fish Cat for embarrassing himself with that idiotic statement. But little do any of them realize, that it actually ends up becoming true! Just wait and see, ladies and gentlemen, just wait and see.
Lizard Cat: That is the most hilariously insane theory I have ever heard of since I developed hearing! If I had that growth spurt, I'd smack you in the back of the head. HAH!
Tank Cat: Fish Cat might be onto something, but we have no proof like...at all. So there is nothing we can do about it.
Cat: I just want to meet these enemies! I want to see what enemy we are facing today. All I know is that they aren't red. So they're trait less and white!
Bob: Heh, can we just get going already? It is about to be the afternoon after all the fucking time we threw away. It is about damn time that we get going! Eu quero conhecer esse inimigo! (I want to meet this enemy)
Gross Cat: Let me just quickly wake up Bird Cat really quick. he rushes towards Bird Cat and slaps him awake, to his irritation
Bird Cat: Ouch! For your information, that really hurt. But I can't miss out on this opportunity to see who this unknown enemy is.
They make their way out and take a look at the Enemy Base in front of them. It is a stereotypical Spanish base based off of your average bullring. Such as La Plaza de Toros de Las Ventas! Which is the most famous bullring in the country. It has garnered a lot of fans in the country. So it would only make sense that it would be used for the Enemy Base there. It even has a Matador in a blue suit using his red flag to cause a bull to charge. With stab wounds from colored spears. It is a highly detailed base considered it is made entirely from wood.
Bob: Ah, so this must be Spain! I think I speak a decent amount of Spanish...it's an easier variant Portuguese after all! he stares into the enemy base ¿Esta es la base enemiga? Entiendo. (SPANISH for: Is this the Enemy Base? I get it.)
Cat: Damn, Bob is trilingual!? That is crazy... I barely even speak our main language.
Bob: Being bilingual is a basic standard for Europeans. And at least half are trilingual, so, yeah. Any monolingual is a fraud to this continent! he smirks as he flicks his toothpick
Meanwhile, in the enemy base, Sir Seal is eating some Paella while staring at the unknown enemy come in and rummage through the fridge. He joins Sir Seal and sits himself down.
Sir Seal: What the hell do you want? he glares at him as the other enemy drinks some soda
?????: I'm getting some soda from the fridge. Why the hell are you on my dick for, homie? he continues chugging the can of orangey sugar
Sir Seal: I was just curious, that was all, Croco! And quit drinking that soft drink! There's only a limited number of these things, you know?
Croco: Hey, listen here. I don't give a fucking shit about what your bitch-ass thinks! I do what I want with these beverages. he crushes the can and flings it at Sir Seal I seriously can't believe The Boss made you head of the Junior Tier! Why couldn't you just stay in the Senior Tier like me? he grabs another soda and chugs it
Sir Seal: Shut the hell up! I own you, Croco! Sir Seal is less authorial around Croco, as the head of the Junior Tier is on par with an average Senior Tier member Why can't we just go after these enemies outside?
Croco: God damn! We ran out of soda, Sir Seal, we need to get more, brother!
Sir Seal: he mumbles GET BACK HERE! he chases after Croco, but he outruns him
Eventually, Sir Seal and Croco make it outside. The two are exhausted and are sweating like crazy. They look out and see the Battle Act. Croco seems surprised with Bean Cats and Bob being there.
Croco: YO! They got a Human on their shit. Sir Seal, aren't you checking this mother fucking Human and Pea Cats out, dawg? he looks at them and grins
Bean Cat R: It's a BEAN pod, you idiot. he grumbles as he rubs the pod
Bob: Ah, so you must be...the new enemy. You never told me your sodding name, so how the fuck should I know it? he cackles as he cracks his knuckles Maybe I should introduce myself to you. My name is Roberto Mourinho Jablovskyy. But most people call me Bob, it's a lot easier to say for Brain-rotted people like yourself. I'm 16 years old, and I don't come from here. You see, I come from the neighboring country's capital city, Lisbon, where my mother sent me on a boat to a disciplinary camp in North Korea for my aggressive behavior. But the boat ended up on the wrong currents and I ended up right in South Korea, where I met the Battle Act, one thing lead to another, and yeah, I'm here now! he flicks his toothpick Now who are you?
Croco: Yeah, you're right! I should tell you who I am, man. The name's Croco. Short for Croco X Dilo, only messing, no it isn't. Yeah I'm just your basic ass crocodile, you know? I have low durability, sadly, I have decent damage, with HIGH attack speed, I can attack more than once in a second. I was rescued by the real G, Dundee himself, from all hunters, and I became obsessed with correspondence learning. I'm pretty much a smart guy! I'm a bloke of several qualifications, and I have a Word Processing Certificate, second class! he shows up his certificate Here's the proof, I'm a smart ass guy! I eventually joined the Authorial Association in hopes of enhancing my fighting skills. And let me tell you, I love Dundee and I'll be making sure he gets the love he deserves.
Bob: Wait...are you telling me you're the crocodile saved by character Mick Dundee!? he stares at him in disbelief
Croco: Nope, I'm saying that I'm ONE of the crocodiles saved by him, I'm not the same crocodile seen in the movie. But I guess you guys can thank Paul Hogan for saving my ass out there! he shows off his teeth and cackles
Croco is pretty natural when it comes to his design. He is basically your typical cartoonish white crocodile, he has a large mouth, similar to the ones found on crocodiles. his head has small circles for his eyes, he has a small spiky scales all over his back, he has a stubby tail, and he even rocks four stubby legs and a a small cartoonish snout for his nostrils. He mainly rocks perfectly triangular talons, which is perfect for quick biting. Size wise, he is the same size as the likes of Doge or Snache, but he has a relatively flat
Croco: I am also part of the Senior Tier, so you better be showing me the damn respect I deserve around here you dumbass.
Gross Cat: For someone with a second degree Word Processing Certificate, he surely talks like an Australian gangster.
Croco: That's because I WAS an Australian gangster, you got a problem with that, mate? I had guns and all, shooting against gigantic spiders, and redneck hunters. And somebody better ask Sir Seal to get more lollies into the fridge. (Australian English for Sweets/Candy) I'm starving. These dumbass bitches are on my dick, bro.
Sir Seal: You're not getting anything out of me! Go and fight off these enemies now, will you?
Croco: Ah, piss off you knob. You can't tell me shit on what to do. For I am a master at corresponding with the others! Look at my certificate, I am great at reading and writing letters, you know?
Cat: I'm really starting to believe he isn't obsessed with correspondence. Despite all of the proof he gave us!
Tank Cat: Can we begin to fight these guys already! I'm getting tired of waiting. he giggles as he looks at Sir Seal and Croco
Sir Seal: Yeah, yeah, go ahead! Murder him! He's been at my head for way too long now. Go on already...
The Battle begins! Croco shows off his speed by charging right into Bob and biting into his foot, causing a lot of bleeding, and for a deep bite mark to form. Bob tries to shake off Croco and he flies off his foot. He continues to charge right into Bob. He seems to be locked in.
Bob: Okay, I see you have speed! Nowhere near as much as Cow Cat, or even Gory, but you are insanely fast, mate. I'll give you that. Bob slams his fist into Croco, causing his jaw to bleed out and for his tail to shake
Croco: AGH! My mouth feels like it's on heroin. Why the fuck did you do that to me? I'll have you know your shit little face is going to be snapped off.
Bob: Oh yeah? Mostre-me tua força! (Show me your strength!) You little son of a bitch.
Croco: HAH! With fucking pleasure. You spastic... he cackles as he charges right into Bob and bites his face
Cat: Oh shit, Bob! Don't let him bite you in the face like that. he tries to pull on his tail to make sure he gets off
Croco: NOW! Sir Seal, I have him right where I want him. Sting him as if you were a platypus! he continues to nibble on Bob's nose, and realizes his tail is being pulled YEOCH! Who the hell is biting at my tail.
Sir Seal: You called? he snarls at the sight of Bob Ah, you want me to get rid of him. Don't you? he cackles loudly Prepare to die under my wrath, Bob. Now that I have you right where I want you...
Bob: I should of killed you when I had the chance. he sends an uppercut to Sir Seal's jaw just as he was approaching, causing his mouth to bleed out from the impact Cat, your pulling is causing Croco to bite deeper into my skin! Please stop.
Cat: I'm trying to pull upwards. But it's more or less pushing at this rate...he struggles to get Croco off Bob as Croco is swatting his tail at his face
Croco: I politely asked you to get off of my tail you bastard! Now I having my tail stretched out by a feline who probably smokes in the back of the Cat Base.
Cat: he is visibly offended I do not smoke tobacco, or weed, or anything! he lets go, which actually causes Croco to go flying and off of Bob
Croco: WAH! he lands on top of Sir Seal Oh, damn it all! I just wanted to finish off Bob.
Bean Cat L: he is whispering to the other Cats Shh... we don't want to grab their attention! We're just going to simply sneak up behind them and wait for the perfect moment to attack them.
Axe Cat: he giggles away He will not see our attacks coming. We're just going to smack him in the head with my axe! And he'll be screaming like a big baby.
Tank Cat: Let's not make too much noise now, okay? We don't wantto cause any trouble. In front of theenemies, otherwise we're dead.
Cow Cat: It's a pretty hard task when everyone is getting in the way and pushing me around! he mutters as he looks at Croco and Sir Seal take on Bob and Cat Damn...impressive shit for sure!
Fish Cat: he pushes ahead Hey! Let me have a look, I want to see this for myself. It looks so cool and badass! Croco won't mind us watching, right? Or Sir Seal for that matter...
Titan Cat: I'm going to sneak up on Sir Seal, and give him a kick in the chest! Does anyone want to follow me and watch my back?
Bird Cat: Of course! I'll be there to watch you. I don't want them to see you. The second I come in to your acquaintance, they won't be able to sense your breathing!
Lizard Cat: Weirdos, am I right, or am I right? he smirks as he looks at everyone
Bean Cat R: I guess you have a decent enough point there! he looks at Titan Cat sneak up on Sir Seal
Titan Cat: AHA! he sends a blow right into Sir Seal's jaw, causing it to spew out blood and bleed out frantically
Tank Cat: Way to go, Titan Cat! You two just got busted. he giggles as he looks at Croco fall off Sir Seal
Sir Seal: Agh! How the hell did that happen? he stares at Titan Cat with confusion
Bird Cat: It occurred because we snuck up on you two while Cat and Bob were fighting you. Despite the fact they didn't play a role in the sneak up, they deserve huge credit as their fighting had an impact on the situation.
Cat: Hey, look at that! I had an impact on a sneak up I didn't know about!
Bean Cat R: Ooh, can we attack Sir Seal and knock him back now? Please?
Titan Cat: Do whatever the hell you feel like as long as it doesn't benefit them, or go against us. he smirks as he cracks his knuckles
Lizard Cat: Damn it! If only I had that old cheerleading outfit... he sighs in despair
Everyone else simultaneously: YOUR WHAT!? they all stare at him in confusion
Lizard Cat: Oh yeah, I forgot to tell! A year ago I was on this dark website looking to buy things. Like weapons and stuff. You know?
Tank Cat: How the heck is a cheerleading outfit illegal and dark web exclusive? he looks at him in confusion
Lizard Cat: Oh, I ended up rerouting to an auction page, and the first thing I saw was an outfit my size, and at a cheap base price, I didn't care what it was. So I sold some Cat Food for real dollar bills, and I won the bet, and I got a cheerleading outfit which still fits me to this day! I never wanted one, but I got it anyways, so why not use it?
Fish Cat: Good point there! If I ended up buying a bra, I'd wear it!
Axe Cat: No you wouldn't... he scoffs and stares at him in disbelief
Fish Cat: Yeah I wouldn't, I was just trying to defend him there. he cackles loudly as he nudges Axe Cat
Cat: I got a question! Does it come with matching Pom Pom's or something? he seems genuinely intrigued
Lizard Cat: You bet your sweet ass it does! Why? By any chance are you practicing cheer leading or something? he nudges him and begins to laugh
Cat: I needed a spare pillow... my old one was ripped open by Cow Cat. he shoots a glare at him
Cow Cat: Okay, so what if I ripped a pillow open? A Pom Pom isn't comfortable to sleep on.
Cat: YES IT IS! I was taking a nap near an American football game two years ago.
Lizard Cat: This is getting me so hyped! I just have to find it and put it on. he rushes to The Cat Base and begins searching
Bob: Okay, what the fuck is he buying online? he stares at everyone in confusion
Gross Cat: Eh, don't worry about it! Lizard Cat is usually into buying cooking equipment, or psychic stuff. He doesn't even know how cheerleading works! He just loves buying stuff on bargain, impulsive little guy he is.
Meanwhile, Sir Seal and Croco just stare at everyone in utter confusion and disbelief at what they just heard. They don't even want to know what happens in the Cat Base once the curtains go down. Sir Seal seems disgusted, while Croco is laughing away.
Croco: Oh, I want to see that damn Lizard sing some songs! And I want to see what he looks like. he cackles away, leaning on Sir Seal for balance
Sir Seal: Get off me you wretched alligator! he shoves him off and mumbles to himself in embarrassment I just want to fight The Battle Act, not having to gets interrupted by being pushed away by Bean Cats
Bean Cat R: See, I said I would push you back! You were just being oblivious to it all! he sniggers as he watches Sir Seal bruise up from the impact of their hits
Sir Seal: GET BACK HERE YOU FILTHY FELINES! he begins to chase after them, and slamming his flippers into the ground and biting the air in the process
Titan Cat: Do I have the right to ground Lizard Cat? Since I'm everyone's chaperone, and they all follow under my rules, if they break them, they can be grounded! Is that true?
Bob: I think so...but I don't know the age rate of a Cat, so I don't know if he's a kid, an adult, or an adolescent. he shrugs as he swipes hair out of his eyes
Titan Cat: I am so going to beat him after he caused "The Cat Food Collapse"! he grumbles as he looks at The Cat Base
Croco: Hey, I'm just saying this out of pure honesty! You guys are funny as hell! I can't wait to see how funny you guys are once I beat the shit out of you!
Axe Cat: Oh-ho! We'll see about that, BUDDY! he charges right into Croco and prepares to slice him up
Sir Seal: he's still chasing Bean Cats EVER SINCE YOU TWO HAVE BEEN SET FREE, ALL OF THE OTHER ENEMIES LOOK DOWN ON ME! It doesn't make any sense to me whatsoever. he growls as he bites them, causing them to spew out blood and have their chests crushed
Bean Cat L: AGH! He got us, Sir Seal has got us. he squirms around, trying his hardest to get out of the biting
Sir Seal: Oh no you don't! he smirksas he bites deeper into them, causing more blood to spew
Bob: Okay, Sir Seal, since you love biting so much, BITE THIS! he sends a punch right into Sir Seal's forehead, causing him to trip and cough up blood, he has a dark bruise on his head
Sir Seal: Of course Bob is here. To beat the living hell out of me just for shits and giggles. he grumbles as he gets up
Bob: Titan Cat, Fish Cat, Axe Cat, beat the shit out of Sir Seal!
Axe Cat, Fish Cat, and Titan Cat simultaneously: ON IT BOB!
Finally more fighting really happens as Fish Cat bites down onto Sir Seal's chest, causing it to crush and for its epidermis to peel a bit. Axe Cat supports this by bashing his axe into Sir Seal's bruise from Bob, causing it to worsen and even begin swelling. Titan Cat sends a blow from his fist to Sir Seal's back, causing it to crush his spine and for him to go down.
Sir Seal: he coughs some blood up Fuck you three... he coughs loudly I am not unconscious yet. And I will n- gets interrupted by Titan Cat grabbing his blubbery neck
Titan Cat: Oh, shut it. Your loud mouth is draining my ears out. And it is making me feel queasy and sick. You absolute blubber mouth. Bob is cackling away at Titan Cat's badass insults, especially the cheesy pun
Bob: Hey Titan Cat! I didn't know you had the ability to perform cheesy one-liners!
Titan Cat: Oh, shut it Bob. he sends a punch to Bob's neck, causing him to fall over Just because I'm dark and scary doesn't mean I have a sense of humor.
Cat: Yes it does...I've never seen you laugh before in my life! You stupid old bag. he giggles away, before receiving the same punch and falling down in the same manner Ow...
Bob: Hey, now you know how the fuck I feel... he manages to somehow flick his toothpick across the floor before getting up
Croco: Yo! That was intense ass shit for sure. Now I should probably run away before I end up turning myself into mince meat.
Fish Cat: Stop pretending you're one of us! he slams Croco onto the floor, causing his nose to bleed out Be grateful I didn't bite into you.
Tank Cat: Hey guys! Lizard Cat is back. And he's in his cheerleading outfit.
Lizard Cat comes rushing out of the Cat Base. He is rocking a black and yellow two piece cheerleading outfit with some sort of bee-based team as the club. It is unknown what sport the club is based off of, after all, it came from an auction, so it could be anything! He even has on a yellow skirt for cheerleading purposes. The question is, how did it even fit him!? And of course we can't forget about the Pom Pom's! Yellow, and matches the skirt and the cheerleading outfit. Since he can't grab stuff with his paws as they'd be more feet than hands, he taped them onto the sides of his face.
Lizard Cat: OH YEAH, I found it! And it fits like a glove. he rushes towards everyone, not even the slightest bit embarrassed of what's on him I don't even know how to cheerlead, all I know is that they often spell out names of random ass things. he shakes, causing the Pom Pom's to shake
Gross Cat: I can't believe you actually found it, let alone put it on!
Lizard Cat: Oh shut up. You're just jealous because I'm the only man who can pull off a female outfit without looking girly.
Axe Cat: You look really girly! he cackles as he nudges him I would assume that you were his twin sister! Okay everyone, let's give her space so she can cheerlead. he giggles away
Lizard Cat: Don't make me burn you up, man. he snarls as his mouth begins forming smoke, as he is preparing to fire an ember
Croco: writing down the conversations for his correspondence studies Just spell out my name! It'd be really funny to watch.
Lizard Cat: With pleasure, fellow reptile. he begins to shake his Pom Pom's before chanting Give me a C...
Croco: C!
Lizard Cat: Give me an R... he shakes the Pom Pom's in his face, everyone watches in amusement
Croco: R!
Lizard Cat: Give me an O... he wraps his tail around him and continues shaking the Pom Pom's
Croco: O! he begins to shake in anticipation
Lizard Cat: Give me a C... he circles around him and giggles, he is actually enjoying this
Croco: C... he is really excited
Lizard Cat: Give me an O... he grabs Croco's tail with his own and lifts it
Croco: Woah... he technically said O, he is rising in the air, but one by half an inch
Lizard Cat: And what does that all spell...? he giggles as he stares him down, he smirks slyly
Croco: IT SPELLS NOTHING OTHER THAN CROCO! MATE. Yeah, he's superior to most of them fake ass cheerleaders! the two begin cackling away
Bob: Heh...I think Lizard Cat is better than most cheerleaders!
Lizard Cat: Damn straight I'm the best! If I ever get a girlfriend, and she loves to play football, I'd cheerlead for every match the she plays. he smirks as he lets go of Croco
Croco: Sorry, but I have to bite you up now. And it is going to hurt your pretty little face.
Lizard Cat: Aw...too bad so sad. he smirks as he nudges him But not if I end up doing it FIRST!
Lizard Cat ends up shooting an ember right into Croco's face, causing it to blister up and boil. He grumbles as he charges right into Lizard Cat, the two have each other in a big wrestling session.
Bird Cat: Oh dear. Lizard Cat, use your ember breathing! You're going to die at any moment if he bites you.
Lizard Cat: There's no way! He's so fragile, he is less durable than Doge is! This Aussie is going to have his ass handed to him so hard to the point where he'll be upside down the SECOND he makes it to the North Coast.
Croco: Well blimey! What shit is not going to go well against me. God damn... he scoffs as he bites into Lizard Cat's face, causing it to bleed out and leave a mark
Lizard Cat: Ow! he coughs up some blood I'm going to get you for that... he spews a fire ember right into Croco's face once more, causing him to yelp
Croco: AGH! My fucking face, you absolute beast. he runs away
Cow Cat: I got him! he dashes right after Croco and bashes into him, causing him to go unconscious right on the spot
Bob: I don't know...for an enemy who's part of the Senior Tier Authorial Association, I don't see how he is deserving of that position, especially considering Gory is superior in every aspect! he shakes his head in disbelief
Titan Cat: Eh, Gory is a gambler and an alcoholic. Plus, Croco is really flat on all fours, so enemies have perfect view of attacking if they ever need him to meat shield. Just like what he did to me. he shows off his paw/foot, which was covered in bite marks and bleeding from the impact
Bob: Jesus... Ele realmente fez isso? (Did he really do that?)
Titan Cat: he simply nods his head and nudges Bob, a bit too hard for comfort Oh, sorry.
Sir Seal: I'm still here, you know? And I'm happy to beat the shit out of all of you motherfuckers. he cackles loudly as he begins charging after everyone
Sir Seal slams himself into Bob and begins attacking him. This causes Bob to clash right into Sir Seal and give him a blow to the head. Causing the bruise to be too much and he backs out.
Sir Seal: If I receive one more hit to the forehead, I'm going to cause my skull to crack open, and it is going to hurt a lot, AND be a painful experience. he grumbles You guys win! Just take your stupid Passion Treasure variants and piss off.
Cat: I just want to do something real quick. he giggles as he takes out a remote and FIRES THE CAT CANNON
The Cat Cannon ends up firing Sir Seal and the unconscious Croco away from the battlefield. Sir Seal lands on the Enemy Base and causes it completely collapse. All three variants of the Passion treasure come flying out and land on the floor. Eventually, Fish Cat rushes out and grabs it. He grins as he makes his way back to The Battle Act.
Fish Cat: Don't worry, I got the treasure, we're sorted guys! he sniggers as he carries all three variants in his mouth
Tank Cat: Ew! There's no way I'm touching that...he shivers in horror
Cat: he rubs Tank Cat in the back Trust me, I've put my paws through a lot worse than you have! That is a guaranteed fact.
Bob: he yawns as he stretches Estou cansado. (I'm tired) Let's head back before the sun sets and it actually gets cold. he flicks his toothpick as he looks around
Bird Cat: Certainly! I can feel my wings all frizzing up from the cold weather. he smirks at everyone
Bean Cat L: We beat another fight. That is great news to hear.
Bean Cat R: But let's head back, he shivers this bean pod can't warm us up, you know?
All of the Cats make it back to the Cat Base, Bob eventually followed inside after embracing the night sky of Spain's winter. They are all inside, Titan Cat is ridiculing Lizard Cat for his purchases of random items like the cheerleading outfit without his permission.
Titan Cat: he is grabbing Lizard Cat by the ear You are going to return that stuff before I beat the living hell out of you. he snarls at Lizard Cat as he wriggles in his grip
Lizard Cat: AGH! I'm sorry...please let me go already, I promise, I won't buy anything without your permission again. But this is really comfy on me, you know?
Titan Cat: he sighs Okay, how about we wait for the outfit to increase in value, then we sell it, okay?
Lizard Cat: You got yourself a deal, Titan Cat! he giggles as he wraps his tail around Titan Cat
Bob: I believe it looks decent on you, for what it is. he grins as he looks at him
Lizard Cat: See, Bob knows how to be appreciative! he smirks as he makes his way to sleep
Bob: he grins as he flicks his toothpick Say, Cat, where the hell are we going to next?
Cat: Well, you'd be happy to know we're heading to...he flicks his log book France! To obtain the French Bread treasure variants! And we are facing; Doge, Snache, Those Guys, Gory, Baa Baa, Sir Seal, and Croco! We are going to need a lot of energy tomorrow in order to take on these guys. So, everyone, let's head to bed and prepare ourselves for tomorrow!
And so, The Cats and Bob all make their way to bed. They are all happy with the results of today and the potential of tomorrow's. All they can do is sleep away and dream of the possibilities that tomorrow has for them in France. It is going to be quite a journey filled with action and adventure. All we can do is hope for their favor once they make it there.
TO BE CONTINUED
Well, that was quite the story to write. Since there were very little enemies here, I decided to add a unique story with plenty of shit post potential. But don't worry, I still had a lot of jam packed action and combat! And I even brought The Cat Cannon into use. I never referenced it in a long time, so it was good to bring it up. So I hope you enjoyed this. And to explain the situation about the arcs, in the Battle Cats, levels 24, 25, and 28 are for the Smart Material Wall, while levels 26, 27 and 29 provide treasure for the Super Register. I hope that clears the commotion to any non-players out there!
Stay tuned for the next episode coming to a Fan Fiction very soon!
The Battle Cats (2014) and its respective characters and features are all owned by Ponos Corporation.
The character Bob is owned by me, however feel free to use him without profit, just as long as you credit the owner.
Crocodile Dundee (1986) and its respective themes and characters are all owned by Peter Faiman.
Any references to Paul Hogan are not authorized by him or his associates. All references are to be considered as commentary or as parodies.
This fiction is 100% unofficial and can be considered as fan-made.