Love Beats

by GryffindorJedi1

This is a re-telling of Glee, how I think it should've been. Yes, I know it's all the same material from the original show, but the way I write it is only gonna get a bit more different. It'll be way better than the original. Also, if you wonder why I made Shelby Rachel's sister, it's because Idina Menzel kept saying how uncomfortable she was being her mother. Age difference wise.

4. Auditions and Duets

Chapter 4

Auditions and Duets

Glee club is back with a brand new season. Santana had a minor procedure done. Rachel wants to be in a relationship with Finn. Upon learning that Jesse and the rest of Vocal Adrenaline tormented New Directions, after what they did to Rachel, Shelby decided to stop coaching that bastard team and someone new would eventually take over. Jacob Ben Israel was interviewing students. He asked Tina and Mike about their new relationship. They were, in fact, together seeing as how they were holding hands. Artie glared at them. Kurt said, "You want to know what takes courage? Singing. Say whatever you have to say to my face!"

In Figgins' office, Will and Sue were talking about budget cuts. Sue pointed to another woman in the room, "Who is this?"

"Shannon Beiste," she stood up. "Spelled B-E-I-S-T-E. It's French. I'm the new football coach."

Will asked, "Wait, what happened to Ken Tanaka?"

Figgins told him, "Nervous breakdown."

Sue said to Beiste, "Let me explain something to you. Female football coaches are like male nurses - sin against nature."

Beiste fired back saying, "You're all coffee and no omelet." Sue looked confused. "Six teats and no oink. Rah!" Then she left.

Sue said, "That doesn't make any sense."

Will said, "What?"

Rachel opened her locker door. A familiar voice said to her, "Any room for a photo of me in there?"

"Shelby? Hey!"

"Hey." They hugged. Shelby grunted.

"Sorry. I'm still getting used to that."

"It's fine. So, how's high school treating you?"

Rachel closed her locker. "The usual. Slushies in our faces at every corner, but other than that, it's all right."

"Hasn't anyone put a stop to that?"

"Like Figgins or the school board can stop the football players and suspend them." She rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"I wish there was something I could do. You don't deserve that kind of abuse."

"I know, it's embarrassing. But you know how it is. You tell a person to stop, and they just do it again anyway. Santana does it all the time."

"Well, the jocks are gonna have a hard time Slushing you with the new girl in town."

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

"I'm a teacher here now. Well, part-time."

Rachel squealed and hugged her again. Then she said, "But wait. I thought you said that— Didn't you say you were tired of coaching glee club?"

"I am, but that doesn't mean I'm tired of teaching."

"So, how long are you gonna be teaching here for, anyway?"

"Uh, I haven't quite figured that part out yet, but I'm willing to try. Made me forget all about Vocal Adrenaline for three whole months."

In the choir room, Will said, "These are the comments from Jacob Ben Israel's latest blog."

Kurt said, "We get it, Mr. Shue, everyone still hates us. So, we're plankton on the high school food chain. But none of us really care."

Mercedes said, "Kurt's right. We're a family now. They can bring it on all they want. None of it is ever gonna break us."

Will said, contently, "I'm really happy that some of you have all bonded. The problem is it's keeping everyone else from auditioning."

Tina said, "Well, that's great. Why do we even need new members?"

"Well, since Matt transferred, we only have 11 members." (You know, Matt would've stuck around longer if they'd just given him more lines.) Fourth wall break. :) Will went on, "If we want to beat Vocal Adrenaline, we need a giant wall of sound. Nationals are in New York this year, and we have to go there!" Mercedes fanned Kurt with her hand.

Will found Shelby, "Hey, Shelby, you got a second?"

"What's up, Will?" Shelby asked. "You look really mad."

"The Glee Club really tried to show the school what we're about. And how do some of them repay them? By defacing the sign-up sheet. 'Penis, butt-munch, Ass-braham Lin-colon.' They're not even clever!"

"That last one was pretty harsh. Look, Sue wants to take down your club? We are gonna topple her. You in?"

Will crumpled up the paper. "I am."

Finn put up a camouflage sheet with a skull and microphones to look like crossbones. He heard Sam Evans sing "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" in the shower. Finn's voiceover said, "I would've joined in with a kick-ass harmony, but the dude was naked." He just smirked and walked away.

Claire Thomas was about to start high school at McKinley with her closest friend, Henry Reynolds. Claire was an alright-looking girl with glasses, black hair and blue eyes. Henry, on the other hand, was a senior with dark brown hair and light blue eyes. He was also distinctively handsome, and English.

Claire asked, "Any idea on where we're supposed to go?"

Henry looked a a map of the campus. "Um, no idea. Hey, there are the sign-up sheets."

"Glee Club. No tryouts? I don't know."

"Looks like they're really desperate."

"Yeah, well, maybe someone else will come along."

"See you later." He walked off.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm gonna go check out the gym. Maybe they'll be looking for new football players."

When Rachel first saw Claire walk into the girls' room to wash her hands, she smiled. "Oh, hello." Claire looked in her direction. "It's you. You're Rachel Berry." Rachel replied, "And you're Claire Thomas." Rachel encouraged Claire to try out for glee. "So, you thinking about trying out for glee club?" Claire was reluctant to discuss this. "I don't know if I'm really that… I'm not much of a singer." Rachel smiled, "Well, I'm sure you sound all right. I even did a little research on you. Listen, Claire, we need chorus members. So I encourage you to audition for glee club."

"Thank you."

"Okay."

They started singing "Telephone" together. Sue walked in and the music abruptly stopped. "Keep it down!" she shouted. Well, that was just plain rude.

"Well, that was fun. When are auditions?"

"Um, I'm gonna have to get back to you on that. Don't tell anyone about this, okay?"

In the gym, Sue and Beiste were in the boys' locker room. Beiste pulled off Finn's sign-up sheet. Finn said, "We're trying to recruit new glee members."

A pizza delivery boy came by and said, "I got 25 everything pies for a Coach Sylvester."

Sue said, "I didn't order any pizzas."

Rachel and Shelby tried to keep themselves from laughing. The football players chuckled. Sam smiled. Rachel giggled and said, "This goes against my nature. Isn't this a little immature?"

Shelby said, "Yeah, it's downright childish. But sometimes it's nice to dish out a little payback. Give Sue Sylvester a run for her money and a taste of her own medicine." The two bump fists. Rachel said, "Yes."

The delivery man said, "My boss says if you don't pay for 'em, I have to."

Sue was growing furious. Beiste pulled out her debit card and gave it to him. He took it with a smile on his face. Beiste said to Finn, "Hand 'em out, Wayne Newton. Let's go, guys. It's a pizza party. Dig in." The guys ate. Rachel and Shelby looked at other in stunned surprise. Beiste continued, "Everybody has to eat at least four slices. And when you're done, full pads out on the field. We're doing wind sprints. The first 10 to puke are off the team." Rachel pulled Shelby out of the way. Beiste said, "Hey, girls. Um, there's pizza in there if you want some."

Rachel said, "Thank you."

Shelby said, "Yeah, thanks."

Beiste walked away with a smile on her face. Almost like she knew they were pranking Sue. That was called respect. Almost like she was saying, "Well played, ladies."

Puck said, "You know why they wouldn't let Helen Keller drive. Because she was both blind and deaf." Well, duh.

In the hallway, Artie was talking to Finn about joining the football team.

Artie asked, "Well, Kurt did it once. Why can't I?"

"Being gay isn't a handicap, Artie. Why do you even want to join?"

"Tina left me for Mike Chang. They fell in love over the summer at Asian camp."

Tina and Mike kissed in a flashback. A kid with a cell phone took their picture.

Finn said, "Look, buddy, I'm sympathetic, but I don't think the others will go for it."

"Imagine pushing me at full speed."

"Dude, you'd be like a human battering ram. That'd be awesome."

"So, you'll help me?"

"Sure, but you gotta help me first. Hey, Sam." They shook hands. "I'm Finn, and this is Artie." Artie waved.

Sam said, "Yeah, I know you. You're on the football team, right? You're the quarterback."

Finn said, "Exactly, which makes me very cool. We have a proposition for you."

In the choir room, Finn, Artie, Puck and Mike all looked at Sam. "I'm Sam Evans. I like comic books, sports…I'm kind of dyslexic, so my grades aren't that great. But I'm working on it."

Puck said, "Dude, your mouth is huge. How many tennis balls can you fit in there?"

Sam said, "Uh, I don't know. I never had any balls in my mouth. Have you?"

Finn said, "I like this kid."

Artie said, "I like his confidence. But the Bieber cut's gotta go."

Puck asked, "So, can you sing?"

Sam put on a guitar. "I've never really sung in public before."

Puck told him, "Dude, trust me. Chicks dig singers."

Finn asked, "What song do you have in your back pocket?"

Sam said, "Um, I don't know. Billionaire?"

Finn snapped fingers in agreement. They started to perform.

Artie was rapping, "You can call me Artie Claus, minus the ho-ho."

Claire found Henry at a garage. "Henry?" Henry slid out from under a car.

"Hi!"

"What are you doing?"

"I got a job. I work here now." He stood up. "What's up?"

"I think I'm gonna try out for glee club."

"That's good. Really good."

"I kinda want you to audition with me." "What, like a singing duo?" Claire nodded. "You don't really need me for that."

"Yes, I do. Hen, I don't think I've ever been this excited about trying something new before. Look, all I'm asking for is a chance. Rachel Berry told me to try out."

"Rachel Berry? Isn't she kind of controlling?"

"Please."

Henry sighed. He smiled.

Claire and Henry were on the stage in the auditorium. "Hi," she said. "I'm Claire, this is Henry." Rachel smiled at her. They started to sing "Start of Something New" from High School Musical. Mercedes and Artie smiled. Shelby walked in and folded her arms, leaning on a wall. Will was impressed with them and said, "Okay. Welcome to glee club." Rachel clapped for them. Everyone else applauded, too. Shelby smirked and nodded. She walked out.

In the teacher's lounge, Will walked to Beiste. "Can I join you?" Beiste just looked at him and used a toothpick. "Okay." He sat down. "Look, I started off this school year thinking we were the underdogs. And when no one else would sign up, I realized we were still outsiders. And that's not how I should make you feel. I'm sorry." They shake hands.

Beiste nodded, "Thank you."

In Shelby's new classroom, Rachel walked in.

Rachel said, "Were you just gonna leave without saying goodbye?"

Shelby said, "Rachel, I have to go away for a while."

"Shelby, you just got back."

"It's only gonna be for a while." She kissed her cheek.

"What was that for?"

"For giving the new girls a chance." She walked off.

And then Rachel started singing, "What I Did For Love."

In the choir room, Will asked, "Alright, who can tell me who Nicholas Brendon is?"

Santana said, "Isn't he the guy who played that idiot Xander on Buffy?"

Kurt said, "I have a bad feeling about this lesson."

Tina said, "Never heard of him, don't want to hear about him."

Finn asked, "How do you get caught between the moon and New York City? They're like 100,000 miles apart."

Will said, "More."

Kurt said, "Mr. Shue, if I may, I suggest at this year's homecoming assembly, we all do a number by - wait for it…Miss Britney Spears."

Artie said, "Yo, Spears is fierce, yo."

Everyone else agreed.

Will said, "Kurt, no. I don't think she's a very good role model."

Rachel said, "But, Mr. Shue, we kind of grew up with her."

Tina said, "She's literally why I wanted to be a performer."

Brittany said, "I don't want to do Britney."

Kurt asked, "Why no Britney, Brittany?"

"Because my name is also Brittany Spears." They all looked at her in confusion.

Will asked, "What?"

Mercedes asked, "What the hell is she talking about?"

Brittany explained, "My middle name is Susan, my lat name is Pierce. That makes me Brittany S. Pierce. Brittany S-pierce."

Will said, "Well, there you have it. No Britney. Sorry."

Kurt said in disdain, "Thanks, Brit. Thanks a lot."

Santana said, "Leave Brittany alone."

Brittany said, "Thank you for understanding. It's been a difficult road."

Rachel asked, "Um, can we move on?"

Will said, "Yes. Let's talk about Michael Bolton."

In Emma's office, "I know Britney Spears has had it rough, but I find it admirable that she's gotten her life back together."

Will said, "I miss you."

Emma said, "Carl's been helping me."

Will said, sarcastically, "Wow."

There was a knock on the side door. "Hi, sorry. Am I interrupting?"

"Carl, um, no."

"You must be Will." He shook his hand. "Another teenager needs a root canal. I'm telling you, these kids better hope they still have their teeth by the time they're 30. Oh, the amount of sugar people eat today."

Artie rolled by to stop Azimio and Karofsky from attacking Finn in the hallway. Karofsky said, "Come on, man, take him!"

Azimio spouted, "There's a wheelchair kid in the way, man. What if I knock him over?"

"Ah, there's something not right about hitting a kid in a wheelchair."

Beiste looked in on them.

Outside, Rachel asked Finn, "Didn't you like the banana bread I baked you?"

"Yeah, it was awesome. How would you feel if I wasn't on the football team anymore?"

"Well, I'd be pretty happy about it. Then I wouldn't have to sing at your bedside if you were in a coma."

"Yeah."

A car drove up the McKinley parking lot and someone stepped out. A very handsome man of about late 20s to early 30s. This man had short black hair, neatly trim and he was wearing a black jacket and a black knapsack. In an instant, Rachel smiled and her heart started pounding. Rachel quickly turned away so no one could see her blushing.

Brittany and Santana went to the dentist together. In the choir room, Brittany wanted a solo for glee. "I had a Britney Spears fantasy."

Santana said, "I went with her, and I had a Britney fantasy, too. Although I'm not really sure how our fantasies combined. That doesn't make any sense."

Tina looked confused. Brittany said, "It's Britney…bitch."

Rachel thought about herself in Britney's old get-up. She was doing "One More Time." When she woke up, she asked, "Is this real life?"

Carl smiled.

In the teacher's lounge, Sue said to Will, "Is your glee club doing Britney Spears music?"

"No. I did not say that we were doing Britney."

"Good."

Artie said, "Mm. Britney." He rolled in the locker room. He told Beiste, "I'd like you to put me on the football team."

Beiste told Finn, "Get him in his uniform."

Quinn said, "Artie's legs don't move."

Brittany asked, "Did you get a leg transplant."

"No."

Finn said, "We looked it up. There's no rule against it."

Puck said, "I don't get it. Why is everyone having Britney Spears fantasies?"

Artie explained, "The laughing gas dentists use has a hallucinogenic agent. The last thing the patient might think of makes them have a vivid dream. It all stands to reason."

Will said, "Look, I know what you're gonna say. If you guys want to do Britney, then I'm fine with it." Everyone smiled at that.

In the gym, Becky Jackson ran to Sue. "They're doing Britney, Coach."

Sue told her, "As I suspected. Becky, you're my eyes and ears."

"Got it, Coach." She clicked her tongue and winked.

Figgins announced, "Fresh off their third place finish at Regionals, the New Directions." Applause was met. They were all doing "Toxic" and Will with them.

Jacob said, "I love Britney Spears!"

Everyone was cheering and clapping.

Lauren Zizes shouted, "Mr. Shue, let me be your Britney!"

Jacob shouted, "Don't stop doing that! Don't stop doing that!"

Sue said, "It's a Britney Spears sex riot." She pulled the fire alarm. Everyone ran out screaming.

Rachel was too busy picking up her books off the floor. Someone stepped up to her and bent their knees. He handed a book to her and said, "Here you go."

"Oh, thanks." She got a good look at him. It was the same young man from the parking lot. "It's you. I-I've seen you in the parking lot a few days ago. A-Are you a new teacher here or something?"

"Actually, yes."

Rachel felt her face blushing again. "Uh, um, I-I'm Rachel Berry."

"Jack Masterson." They shook hands and stood up. "You're very organized, aren't you?"

"Well, I take pride in my work. Most of the time I just practice my singing. It's always such a hassle, y'know, trying to pick out the right songs, always trying not to step on anyone's toes while dancing, and then there's all the harassment and ridicule that comes with the territory. It's exhausting, nerve-wrecking, and…uh…" Her heart was racing. "Sorry. I'm always talking."

"It's all right. I still have to fill out my applications and get everything set up. I hate having to have a license."

"Well, that is technically the law. Anyway, if you ever need any help on teaching, you could always ask Mr. Schuster or Miss Pillsbury."

"Great. Take care of yourself, okay, Rachel?"

"Yeah. Yeah, you too." And then he walked away with a smile. Rachel couldn't help but smile herself. Her back leaned against the lockers. "I think I just met the perfect guy." Her heart was hammering and her cheeks were red.

In the choir room, she was singing "The Only Exception" by Paramore to Finn. In the hallway, he was talking to Brittany and Santana. Jack walked to Rachel and she smiled.

The bell rang and Will walked in telling everyone, "All right. Sorry I'm late, guys. I was with Figgins. Bad news. Puckerman's in juvie."

Tina said, "Really was just a matter of time."

Quinn asked, "What did he do?"

Will said, "He drove his mom's Volvo in front of a convenient store and drove off with an ATM."

Rachel asked, "And when is he getting out?"

"Hard to say."

Brittany said, "He may be the dumbest person in the whole world and that's coming from me."

Finn said firmly, "He put his needs before the team's. We need his voice and his stage presence."

Will announced, "Guys, we can't look at this as a crisis. We have to see this as an opportunity to welcome our newest member, Sam Evans." Sam runs in. Quinn took one look at him.

"Hi, everybody," he said. "I'm Sam. Sam I am. And I don't like green eggs and ham."

Santana said, "Wow, this guy has no game." Brittany shook her head.

Finn shook his hand and said, "You're not gonna regret joining, Sam."

Will asked, "What's a duet? It's when two great singing voices come together. So, this week, I want each of you to sing a duet, and I'm making this a competition."

Mike asked, "What does the winner get?"

Will said, "Dinner for two on me at Breadstix."

Santana said, "I have to win."

Brittany said, "I know."

Mercedes asked, "Who are you gonna sing with, Kurt?"

Rachel and Finn were singing, "Don't Go Breaking My Heart." When they were done, Finn said, "We're totally gonna win."

Rachel looked sad, "Yeah."

Finn said, "Well, don't feel bad. Breadstix has vegan meatballs. They're okay."

Rachel said, "We have to throw the competition."

"But I love Breadstix."

"No, Sam has to win the contest. That way he can feel like he belongs."

Finn smiled, "Wow, Rachel, I've never seen you like this. I'm kind of impressed."

"Well, you inspired me. You're so kind and open. I'm selfish."

"Not all the time. But I still like you."

Sam got Slushed and Quinn helped clean him up. He told her, "Lore Menari. It's Navi. The language from Avatar. It means you have pretty eyes." Quinn smiled.

Mercedes and Santana were singing, "River Deep, Mountain High" in the choir room. Everyone loved it. Even the bongo player.

In Will's office, we are introduced to two new part-time teachers. Anne Marie Tompkins and Ian Rivers. Anne Marie was a young blonde woman with bright blue eyes, freckles on her nose, a happy smile and a heart of gold. Ian was a happy, handsome kind of guy who seems to know more about spunk than music, but he seemed to be the fun and fun-loving type.

Anne Marie knocked. "Hi, excuse me. Are you Will Schuester?"

Will said, "Yes. Can I help you?"

Anne said, "I'm Anne Marie Tompkins. This is Ian Rivers. We're kinda transfer teachers from LA." Will raised his eyebrows, somewhat impressed.

Ian said, "We heard you had a bit of a budget problem, so we decided we'd come and help."

Will said, "Well, that's great. Can either of you guys sing?"

In the auditorium, Anne Marie and Ian Rivers were doing a duet of "What I've Been Looking For" from High School Musical. Applause and cheering occurred. Will said, "Wow. That was really something, guys. That was fun. Thank you."

Claire and Henry really liked these two. Anne Marie and Ian held hands and took a bow.

Sam said, "I love astronomy. That red one is Mars, planet of love."

Quinn said, "Mars is actually the planet of war."

Sam said, "Oh, that's right. Venus is the planet of love. So, what do you think of the new recruits?"

Quinn said, "Well, Claire and Henry definitely look like they have a future here. Miss Tompkins and Mr. Rivers are pretty cool, too. I think that they're just too…happy."

"Well, what's wrong with happy?"

"Nothing at all."

In Rachel's room, she and Finn had decided not to sing, so as to give the new kids a chance.

Finn said, "So, what'd you think of the new guys? Pretty sweet, right?"

Rachel said, "Yeah, I kinda liked them. You know, having Anne Marie and Ian on our team might brighten our chances to beat Vocal Adrenaline. Maybe."

Finn said, "Yeah, I can't wait to see what else they have in store for us."

"Hey, what do you think about Claire and Henry?"

"Oh, those guys? Yeah, they're pretty legit. That Claire kid seemed kind of shy, though."

"Oh, she just needs a little confidence boost. She has an amazing voice. She just doesn't give herself enough credit. Maybe she's just being modest."

"What do you think we should do?"

Rachel was never one to shy away from a singing competition, but if it was for the good of the team, she know what she had to do in order to get in their good graces. After all, she loves performing but hates being disregarded.

In the gym, Henry was punching a bag. Finn said, "Hey, Henry."

"Hi. You're Finn, right?" They shake hands.

"Yeah, great to officially meet you. You look kind of familiar, though."

"Yeah, I get that all the time. Some people think I sound like C-3PO."

"Star Wars is awesome. Anyway, I hear you're new to the football team and the glee club. How do you like it so far?"

"Honestly, I don't mind all the praise. Some of the guys around here, not cool. Like that one guy and his best friend or whatever." Finn looked confused but Henry went on, "Always pushing people into lockers." Then Finn understood, "Azimio and Karofsky. Yeah. I know what you mean. You're gonna want to stay away from those guys."

In the choir room, Mike said, "I don't think I can do this."

Tina said, "It's the perfect song for this situation."

They were doing a Sing number. Mike was debuting. Kurt was surprised.

Everyone clapped. Will said, "Now that is a duet! Everyone, give it up for the amazing voice of Mike Chang!"

The next day, Claire and Henry were singing a duet together. "Magic" by Colbie Caillat.

Mike clapped but Tina stopped him.

Mercedes said, "Okay, do I even need to say it?"

Sam said, "That was really weird."

Tina said, "Like, super weird."

Will said, "Uh, I have to agree. That was a great duet, guys, but what you did with it was…really unusual. Frankly, I'm stunned."

Brittany said, "I liked it."

Kurt said, "They do sound pretty good together."

Will said, "Okay. Back on track. Who's next?"

Quinn and Sam stood up. Sam said, "I just want to say I'm really excited and I couldn't have asked for a better partner." He strummed his guitar and they were singing, "Lucky" by Jason Mraz and Colbie Callait. Santana scoffed, "So freaking charming."

Applause was met at that.

Rachel voted for Claire and Henry. Finn voted for Quinn and Sam. Kurt voted for Anne Marie and Ian. Mercedes voted for herself and "Satan". Mike voted for Tina. Quinn voted for herself and Sam. She clicked her pen. Will tallied up the votes. "Okay. The winner is…by two votes…Quinn and Sam!"

Santana said, "What?! No. Screw that!" Mercedes grabbed her and said, "Let it go! Let go."

Anne Marie and Ian are in second. Those two may not be students, but they certainly do have a lot of energy. Claire and Henry came in third. Their voices are always so great together, and despite their efforts, there was still room to improve.

Outside the parking lot, Shelby's car stopped and parked. Rachel was sitting in the passenger seat.

Shelby said, "But wait, if these people are intergalactic crime fighters, why did they call themselves Plumbers?"

Rachel shrugged, "I don't know. Your guess is as good as mine. Anyway, thanks for the lift." She opened her door and exited the car.

Shelby smiled and said, "Man, they made some weird shows back in the day." She sighed.

Jack stepped out of his car and stood on the other side. "William McKinley. Never thought I'd come here again. But it'll be worth it to see the look on Rachel's face." Then he took one look and saw Shelby coming out of her car. He was completely awestruck and lost himself for a brief moment. "Whoa," he said at last. "I'm definitely back in high school."

In the choir room, Will said, "All right, guys. First off, let's welcome back Noah Puckerman." The others clapped. "Drumroll, please, Finn." Finn patted on his books. "I hold in my hand our letter for Sectionals next month. First, an acapella singing group from Dalton Academy, the Warblers. And the other team to beat, the Hipsters, a group of senior citizens getting their high school GEDs."

Rachel asked, "Is that even legal?"

Mercedes, in turn, asked, "How are we supposed to compete against a bunch of adorable old people?"

Puck said, "Brittle bones."

Will stated, "Seeing as how you were all jazzed up about Sectionals last year, I'm making this week a boys vs girls tournament. So get in your groups and find out what songs you're gonna sing."

Meanwhile, in Will's office, Jack knocked on his door. "Hi. Are you Will Schuster? I'm Jack Masterson. I'm the new calculus teacher."

Will smiled at him, in awe of his handsomeness. "Uh, yes, Jack." He stood up and shook his hand. "Welcome aboard. Hey, haven't I seen you somewhere before? You look kind of familiar."

"Actually, no. I'm a transfer guy from L.A."

"Well, regardless, it's always nice to see a new friendly face. Also, don't take this the wrong way, but you're super handsome."

Jack smiled, "Um, thanks."

Will assigned the guys and girls to do the opposite of what they normally do, so he decided to let the girls sing classic rock, and the guys sing powerful women's music. Puck suggested for Kurt to go to Dalton Academy and check out the Warblers. Kurt reluctantly agreed. It was nice for him to not get shoved into lockers for a change.

Kurt was walking downstairs of Dalton. He took off his sunglasses and said, "Oh, excuse me. Hi, can I ask you a question? I'm new here."

The boy said, "My name is Blaine."

"Kurt." They shake hands. "So, what's going on here?"

"The Warblers. Every now and then, we have an impromptu performance. Tends to shut the school down for a while."

"So, wait, the glee club here is kinda cool?"

"The Warblers are like rock stars. Come on, I know a shortcut." He holds Kurt's hand and they run. "Now, if you'll excuse me." Blaine and the others sing Katy Perry's "Teenage Dream." After they were done, Kurt clapped rapidly.

Shelby was standing in front of the coffee maker pouring herself a cup. Then Jack walked in and then smiled when he saw her. He straightened his tie and walked closer to her. "So, is the coffee here any good?"

Shelby turned and smiled when she saw him. "Well, I'm not sure. I haven't had a chance to try a cup yet."

"I didn't mean anything bad by it."

"That's okay. You must be new here. Anyway, I'm Shelby."

"Jack." They shake hands.

"So, what are you gonna be teaching?"

"Simple math and physics."

"Really? Sounds like a challenge. Speaking of challenging, I take it you're familiar with my sister, Rachel Berry."

"Yeah, we met a few weeks ago. Great girl. Incredible voice, too."

"Yeah, she's really talented. I knew that from the moment I laid eyes on her."

"You two have different last names?"

"Yeah, she has two gay dads."

"That's cool. Anyway, I'd better get started. Uh, it was nice meeting you, Shelby."

"Likewise."

Jack walked off, blushing. He scratched the back of his head.

Back at Dalton, Blaine passed Kurt a coffee cup. "Latte?"

"Thank you."

"This is Wes and David."

"It's very civilized for you to invite me for coffee before you beat me up for spying."

Wes said, "We are not going to beat you up."

David said, "You were just such an adorable spy. We thought it was kind of endearing."

Kurt asked, "Can I ask you guys a question? Are you guys all gay?"

They chuckled and Blaine said, "Uh, no. I mean, I am, but, uh, these two have girlfriends."

David said, "This is not a gay school. We just have a zero-tolerance harassment policy."

Wes said, "Everybody gets treated the same. No matter who they are. It's pretty simple."

Blaine smiled at Kurt. "Would you guys excuse us?"

Wes said, "Take it easy, Kurt." He and David walked out.

Blaine said, "I take it you're having trouble at school."

"I'm the only person out of the closet at my school." Poor Kurt started to shed a tear. "I've tried to be strong about it, but there are these Neanderthals who have made it their mission to make my life a living hell. And nobody seems to notice."

"Blaine nodded, "I know how you feel. I got taunted at my old school, and it really pissed me off. You can just tell that nobody really cared. I even complained about it to the faculty, and they were sympathetic and all, but hey, if you're gay, your life's just gonna be miserable. So I left and I came here. Simple as that. Sometimes prejudice is just ignorance, Kurt. Now's your chance to teach them."

"How?"

"Confront 'em. Call 'em out."

In the choir room, Will and Shelby were standing by the piano and Will announced, "Let's give a warm welcome to McKinley's newest faculty member, Mr. Jack Masterson." Rachel lit up and Jack walked in. Kurt smiled instantly and the girls smiled and gasped. Rachel's heart started to pound again. Santana smirked at him and raised an eyebrow. "Wanky."

Mercedes whispered, "Damn, that is one fine man."

Brittany said, "Mr. Shue, is he your brother?"

Will said, "No. But it would be pretty cool if he were."

If this were an animated series, Rachel's eyes would have hearts.

Later, the girls put on their black leather jackets and they performed Start Me Up and Bon Jovi's Livin' On a Prayer. Kurt got a text message from Blaine that read, "Courage." He smiled.

In the hallway, he looked at his text again. Karofsky shoved him. Kurt ran after him. "Hey! What is your problem?"

"Excuse me?"

"What are you so scared of?"

"Besides you taking a peek at my junk?"

"Kurt said, "Oh, yeah, every straight guy's nightmare that all us gays are out to molest and convert you. Well, guess what, ham-hock. You're not my type."

"That right?"

"Yeah. I don't dig on chubby boys who sweat too much."

"Don't push me, Hummel."

"You gonna hit me? Do it."

Karosky closed his locker. "Don't push me."

"Hit me 'cause it's not gonna change who I am. You can't punch the gay out of me any more than I can punch the ignoramus out of you."

"Then get out of my face!"

"You are nothing but a scared little boy who can't handle how extraordinarily ordinary you are!"

The bastard then kissed Kurt. He moaned, hit the lockers and then walked out. Kurt was left in shock. Well, that really turned him on, didn't it?

Shelby was walking on the auditorium stage. She noticed a radio and clicked it on. Music started to play. She walked center stage and started singing, "Heaven Help My Heart" from Chess. Jack looked in and walked in. He was in awe and walked downstairs slowly, unable to stop himself, basically the same way Rachel reacted when she recognized her voice from the tape she listened to before. By the time Shelby was done, Jack applauded her. She smiled, said thank you and then took a bow. He stopped clapping and Shelby said, "I didn't know anybody would be here. I wasn't expecting anyone to listen to that."

"You're really good."

"I appreciate that." She cleared her throat and sat down.

Jack sat next to her and said, "So, um, did you always want to be a singer?"

"Yeah, it's always been a passion of mine."

"Was that before or after you…? I'm sorry, that's not my business."

"No. No, no, no, it's fine. Really. She reached out to me and I just…it was a lot. A lot to take in. Well, I came back here to make it up to her. I honestly wouldn't blame her for being so mad at me. She'd have every right. I'd give anything to have her back."

"You know, Rachel may not need you in her life, but that doesn't mean she may not want you in it. I mean, even though she's all grown up now, you're still her sister."

Shelby smiled, "Well, thank you for telling me that. It's weird. I mean, I only just met you and…you say these totally decent things, which, believe me, are more than I deserve. But I still appreciate it. Look, it's way past due time. I'd better start heading out. Thanks for the talk, Jack."

"Anytime."

Shelby put her hand on his shoulder and stood up. She walked behind the curtain. Jack stood up and smiled. He lost his balance and then fell backward, hitting the floor of the stage, but thankfully he wasn't seriously hurt.

The next day, Jack met Rachel by her locker. "Hey, you."

"Jack. Um," she straightened her hair. "How, how have you been?"

"Fine. I really feel like this is a very complicated school."

"Yeah, this is not the best place to be, but not everyone here is screwed up. I take it you've met Shelby."

"Yeah, I did. She's really nice."

"Yeah, she is."

"She's an incredible singer."

"Yeah, she is."

"And, God, she's so beautiful."

"Yeah, she is. Wait, why did you say it like that?"

"Like what?"

"You said it all breathless."

Jack didn't say anything.

"Oh, my God."

"Rachel…"

"Oh, my God. You're hot for my sister."

"Shh!" They run to the auditorium.

"Holy crap, your face is blushing. You really do like her!"

Jack nodded. "Yeah, but I don't know how to act around her. She makes me nervous."

"Look, just take it slow with Shelby. Don't try too hard and be yourself."

Jack nodded, then walked off. Rachel smile, but then her smile started to fade.

In the choir room, Beiste asked, "I don't get it. It's boys versus girls, but what does the winner get?"

Finn said, "Coach Beiste, we think you're awesome."

Sam said, "Like a chocolate turtle."

"Exactly. You're nougat-y. You're like a mash-up."

Artie said, "Hard and badass on one side, and soft and girly on the other."

Will said, "Why don't you guys just get to the song?"

Artie said, "Right. This mash-up is dedicated to you, Coach."

The guys were all singing, "Stop in the Name of Love" and "Free Your Mind."

Beiste stood up and smiled. "I liked it. Thank you."

Artie said, "Get over here." They hugged her.

Now, we are currently introduced to Holly Holliday, a substitute teacher just trying to get by. "It's not easy being a substitute," her voiceover said. "Kids feel like they get the day off. I don't even have a nice car." One day, Kurt stopped by to ask her to take over glee in Will's absence. "I understand you are subbing for Mr. Shue's Spanish class. Would you want to take over glee club as well?"

"What makes you think I know anything about glee club?"

"You were subbing and singing in my English class last week. You were extraordinary."

Holly sung "Conjunction Junction" in a flashback with three backups. They were all fabulous.

"So, will you do it?"

"I thought you'd never ask."

"Oh," he smiled. "Muchas gracias."

In the choir room, that idiot Puck wiped the floor with butter. Rachel and Kurt slipped, but Holly slid. Artie said, "Oh, what the hell?"

"Hola, clase. My name is Holly Holliday. I'm not your average, run-of-the-mill sub. I saw a video of you all singing at Regionals where you all came in last."

"Probably because Mr. Shue hasn't listened to the radio since the '80s," Kurt said.

"What sings would you like to do? Oh, don't get asked that a lot, do we?"

Puck suggested Cee-Lo Green's Forget You. "Cee-Lo! That's what I'm talking about."

Santana said, "Wait, what would you know about Cee-Lo? 'Cause you're, like, 40."

"Top 40, sweet cheeks. Hit it!" Music started. Mercedes and Artie sounded great together. Rachel was not very enthused. By the time they were done, Holly shouted, "Let's go get some tacos!"

The next day, at Rachel's locker, Holly walked up to her and asked, "Hey, Rachel. What's up?"

"Hello, Miss Holliday. I'd like you to know that I have a severe bruise on my right buttock from yesterday. You know, maybe I should have more fun and forget all about the consequences."

"Rachel, is there anything you really want to do?"

"You mean other than spending time with the guy of my dreams? Jack Masterson. He's the cutest, sweetest, best looking man in the entire world."

"Ooh, he sounds dreamy."

"Much more than McDreamy."

"You have a lot of great song ideas for glee."

"I would like to do something a little more upbeat and glamorous. Think you could be my singing partner?"

Holly smiled and said, "I thought you'd never ask. It's sort of my catchphrase."

In the auditorium, they were singing "Nowadays" and "Honey Hot Rag." Everyone clapped and cheered. Rachel and Holly hugged.

In Breadstix, Mercedes was dining with Kurt and Blaine.

Kurt said, "I think getting married by an Elvis impersonator is a bigger insult."

Blaine said, "Right. Like if marriage is so sacred, they should just outlaw divorce."

Kurt nodded, "Right, right."

Blaine said, "You know, I like sports, too."

Kurt said, "Oh, way to break the stereotype." They high-five.

Mercedes was so bored, she actually thought of Kurt and Blaine saying "gay" all the time. Then Kurt said, "Oh, when I open my mouth, a little purse falls out." Back to reality, Kurt said, "Mercedes?"

Mercedes said, "So, what were we talking about?"

"Has anyone read Pati LuPone's new book?"

Blaine was silent for a few seconds and then said, "I'm just kidding. Of course I have."

Kurt said, "You scared me."

Mercedes said to a waitress, "Excuse me. I know it's not on your menu, but I was wondering if you had any..."

"You want some tots," the waitress nodded. "You two must go to McKinley."

The next day, Mercedes said, "Look what I got." She pulled out tater tots from a brown paper bag. "My heart was racing."

Kurt whispered, "Are you out of your mind? You could end up in prison."

"So? You know what they have in prison. Tots."

"I'm not breaking it off with Blaine. I really, really like him."

Mercedes walked away.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to find Anthony Rashad. First time I saw him I thought he was kinda cute."

Kurt smiled. Karofsky grabbed his shoulder and turned him around. "Question. Have you told anyone? About how you...told me off in the locker room?"

"You kissed me, Karofsky, and no. I haven't told anyone."

"Good. Keep it that way. If you tell, I'm gonna kill you." He walked off, leaving Kurt nervous.

Will walked in and met Holly. Some people were trying to repaint the choir room. "And the body's still warm. Hi, I'm Will Schuster."

"Holly Holliday. You know, based on what your kids told me about you, you seem like a pretty good teacher."

"But you don't think that. If you really did, then you wouldn't take my job so easily."

"Hey, I'm just trying to give your kids a chance. No offense, Will, but you never really take any of their ideas into consideration. Puck and Brittany clearly have no clue, though."

Will was disdained. Holly had a point. Journey was an okay band, but sometimes he needed to branch out and think of other options. There are other songs, you know. Millions of them. Some of these characters are a lot more selfish than Rachel, and that is kind of saying something.

After a while, the teens have decided that even though Holly was much more open-minded, they concluded that Will should stay as glee club instructor. Besides, they all preferred him to stay. Sue was okay with it. Still doesn't make up for what she did the previous year.

Will met Holly and said to her, "Hey, Holly. How are you holding up?"

"Okay. I'm back to my itinerant ways. I do miss glee club."

"Well, as much as the kids like me, they sure miss you. Which is why next time I'm not around, I'm recommending you as their sub."

"Really? Mr. Shue, that's so nice of you. It would be nice to feel like a part of something."

"I just need your help with one more thing. I really want to do 'Singing in the Rain' with the kids. Could you help me make it more modern?"

"I thought you'd never ask."

They really got into doing the song, alongside "Umbrella" by Rihanna.

Kurt was walking with Burt and Carole to Finn.

Finn asked, "What's going on?"

Burt said, "Tell them."

Carole said, "No, you tell them."

"You said in the car…"

"No, you, please."

"All right. Well, you know how I drive Carole to work every Tuesday. So, I drove here, snuck Carole into the classroom where we met - very romantic of me, I might add - and…"

Carole shouted, "He proposed! He proposed!"

Kurt fawned over the ring. "Oh, Dad!"

Carole said, "We wanted you two to be the first to know."

Burt said, "Yeah, followed by those other kids in the choir room."

Kurt said, "You're gonna have a glee wedding."

In the choir room the next day, Rachel was standing by the piano. Shelby walked in. "Hey. What's going on?"

"Really bad situation, Shelby. Karofsky is off his nut."

"I'm surprised Karofsky even had a nut."

"Mm-hm. I'm just trying to help out Kurt."

"Well, there's always safety in numbers."

"How would you feel if someone just literally pushed you around and no one was around to defend you?" "Definitely wouldn't love it. This school is just broken. But I'm still glad I left Vocal Adrenaline."

Jack walked in. Rachel's heart started pounding. "Oh, Jack, hi." Shelby turned and smiled. "I didn't know you'd be here," Rachel said.

"Yeah, the door was open. Everything going okay in here? You, uh, need any pointers on trapezoids?" Jack winked at Rachel, who giggled. Shelby smiled, somewhat confused. Rachel said, "Um, no, uh, we were just thinking about what songs we were going to sing at a wedding. Kurt's dad and Finn's mom."

"Really? That's wonderful."

"You should totally come. I mean, it'll be the perfect time for you to get to know them."

"Actually, I'm expected somewhere else. But maybe I can help you come up with some song ideas for Sectionals."

Rachel raised her eyebrows. "Really?"

Shelby raised her eyebrows.

In the auditorium, Jack was singing "One Song Glory" from RENT. Shelby was impressed and Rachel was in love. The others were surprised. The guys were impressed and the girls were swooning. By the time Jack was done, Rachel was the first to applaud. She was very quick about it. Kurt was too. The others also clapped. Shelby also clapped. Will was in awe. "That was very nicely done, Jack," he said. "You say this is the first time you've ever done this?"

Kurt thought to himself, "I've never been more attracted to anyone in my entire life."

Rachel thought to herself, "Starts off slow, but learns fast. Ladies and gentlemen, Jack Masterson is a singing god!" She sighed and said quietly, "Yeah."

When they all left, Jack asked, "So, how'd I do?"

Rachel said, "I thought you did great. But, uh, fair warning: next time you finish a performance, don't ask how it was. Some people tend to look down on others when they seek opinions."

Jack nodded, "Good point."

It was definitely not very easy for Rachel to keep her crush on him a secret. But it was certainly no surprise that she lights up every time he comes near. Rachel felt like Jack is the only one who will ever really listen to her and not judge her. But she also knew that even though every girl and Kurt had eyes for him, Jack's attentions always focused on Shelby. On the one hand, Rachel was happy that her sister had a secret admirer. On the other hand, she always felt a bit somber. Talk about mixed emotions, huh?

In the choir room, Kurt said, "Thank you for attending the pre-wedding seminar."

Burt and Finn were seated. Kurt went on, "Dad, you're gonna have to pull off the first dance with Carole. Have you picked out a wedding song yet?"

Burt said, "Yeah, we're thinking Stairway or Bublé."

"Okay, great. So it's basically 1, 2, 3, 4."

The piano started playing.

Burt said, "Hey, look at me, I'm dancing. Come on, Finn, no chickening out."

Finn stood up and walked to Kurt. "Can we shut the door? I'm not really comfortable with people watching."

Kurt said, "But you danced in front of hundreds of people at Regionals."

Finn took his hand and Karofsky was in the hallway moving his hand. Should've closed the door, Kurt.

Burt said, "What the hell was that?"

Kurt said, "It was nothing, Dad."

"That was not nothing. That guy was making fun of you. What the hell is his name?"

"Tell him, Kurt," Finn said. "Tell him or I will."

"Tell me what?"

"His name's Dave Karofsky. He's been harassing me for a few weeks now."

"How?"

"Just shoving me and giving me a hard time."

"There's something else, isn't there?"

"He threatened to kill me."

Burt walked out.

Finn said, "What? You gotta be kidding me. Burt!"

Burt pushed Karofsky, "What the hell?!"

"You like picking on people? Huh? Why don't you try me?"

Karofsky walked away. Burt glared at Finn, "What the hell have you been doing while this is all going on, huh?"

In Figgins' office, Sue was taking over briefly and noticed the situation got more out of hand.

Burt said, "Mr. Karofsky."

Karofsky's dad said, "My name's Paul."

"Paul, your kid treated the life of my son."

Kurt said, "That's what he did. He said he would kill me if I ever told anyone."

Sue asked, "Told everyone what?"

"Just…that he was picking on me."

Paul said, "Hold up a sec. You have been acting differently, David. You used to get As and Bs, you're talking back, acting out, and now we're sitting here."

Burt said, "I think we are wasting our time here. It's your job to protect people."

Sue said, "Couldn't agree more. I will not have one student threatening the life of another. But there's nothing legally the school board or I can do."

Paul said, "I appreciate your time."

Burt said to Sue, "Thank you."

"Enjoy your wedding."

Rachel put on a red dress. Shelby walked in wearing a dark purple dress. She smiled when she saw Rachel trying to put on a necklace the right way. "Need some help?"

Rachel turned around. "Well, if you think you can chain this properly, be my guest." Shelby walked to her and locked the chain into place.

"There."

"Thanks. It's a good thing we're not wearing the same dress."

Shelby said, "Heh."

"What?"

"You look so beautiful."

"Well, you do too."

"I just really love you."

"I love you, too."

They all started to sing "Marry You" by Bruno Mars. Rachel and Finn started it off. Quinn and Sam went after them. Kurt and Mercedes spun around. Tina and Mike ran in. He really hit it off. Puck and Santana were close by. Brittany pushed Artie in his wheelchair while he was swinging ribbons on sticks. Claire and Henry were also there. Along with Anne Marie and Ian. He twirled her. Everyone seemed to be having a good time. Applause and cheering were met. The minister said, "Please be seated. We usually start with a prayer, but a certain young wedding planner who shall remain nameless was afraid some in attendance might fall asleep." Santana tapped Brittany with her arm.

"So, I'm gonna let Burt and Carole tell you in their own words why they've invited you here."

Burt said, "I'm not really known for having a way with words. You know, when you're a kid, adults will tell you a lot of things. But one they neglect to mention is how sad life can be. I lost my wife and Kurt lost his mom, that killed me. We got by, but looking back, I want to apologize to you, Kurt. What we were living just wasn't. You know that saying when God closes a door, he opens a window? Well, sometimes he'll do you one better. You're everything, Carole. Words cannot describe you. And I will love you till the day I die."

Carole said, "Okay. I'm lucky. Most women when they get married, they get one wonderful man. I get two. One of you saved me from my wardrobe, the other one just saved me. Kurt, you are an amazing person. I'm not only getting a son, I'm getting a friend. Finn, I know you were resistant at first, but I am so proud of you. I've watched you grow into a man and you've become a brother to Kurt. We are four people becoming a family."

The Minister said, "Okay. Burt, do you take Carole—?"

"You bet I do!" Laughter from the audience.

"Carole, do you take Burt—?"

"Oh, yes, I do. Yes, I do." Laughter again.

Burt and Carole kiss and the audience applauded and cheered.

Will was singing Michael Buble's "Sway" while Burt and Carole danced. Finn took a white microphone and said, "Hi. Thank you. Best man. Well, first, I want to propose a toast to my mom. Somehow even without a man in the house, you taught me what it meant to be one. You know, in glee club, whenever two people get together, we have a nickname. And today, a new name was formed, Furt." The audience chuckled.

"You and me, man, we're brothers from another mother. And quite clearly, no one has shown me as much as you what it means to be a man. But this past month, some stuff has gone down. From now on, I got your back. Even if it means getting a Slushie in the face every now and then." Chuckling again. "You put this entire wedding by yourself. You're gonna dance it with me, dude." Then they all sang "Just The Way You Are." Another Bruno Mars hit.

In Figgins' office, Carole was outraged. "This is completely unacceptable."

Burt said, "This psycho threatened my son's life, and a bunch of random stupid people I've never met say there's nothing they can do about it?"

Sue said, "No one witnessed him threatening anyone. No one reported him being violent. There's no way to prove. The president issued a verbal warning to Karofsky, and there's where we stand."

Kurt shook his head, "I can't go back to being terrified all the time. I never know when it's coming. I flinch every time someone closes a locker. I don't feel safe anymore."

"Kids who bully, for the most part, have been bullied themselves. Effective noon tomorrow, Figgins will be back in charge, and I have sent in my temporary resignation. Besides, I miss my office. This one is just awful."

Kurt walked in and announced that Burt and Carole had enough leftover honeymoon money to transfer Kurt to Dalton Academy so he can feel safe from Karofsky.

"First off, I want to thank you all for what you did at my dad's wedding, especially Finn. Which is why it's so hard for me to leave."

Quinn asked, "What do you mean leave?"

"I'm transferring to Dalton." Brittany put her hands over her mouth. "Karofsky will be here tomorrow, which means I won't be."

Tina said, "Kurt, you can't leave." Mike shook his head.

Sam said, "We can protect you."

Puck said, "Yeah, seriously. Like the secret service."

Kurt said, "The only thing that can protect me is what they have at Dalton. An enforced no-bullying policy."

Rachel asked, "Does this mean you'll be competing against us?" Santana put her hand up at that. Mercedes said, "Kurt…" Kurt said goodbye and walked away.

Claire and Henry decided to partner up with Anne Marie and Ian. In order to expand their horizons and gain some experience, they really wanted to find some inspiration. Always nice to make new friends.

Claire asked, "So what do you think we should do for Sectionals?"

Henry said, "I haven't really given that much thought since everything happened so quickly. Now that Kurt's gone, we'll have to have someone new join the team."

"Oh, is that what we are?" Henry looked confused. "Santana is always at everyone's throats. Brittany and Puck can't even think. And nobody asks us to do anything. I feel like we're just…extras."

"Well, you got a good point there. I do feel kind of ignored."

"Rachel took a chance on us. Maybe she can help."

"What about those other guys?"

"Anne Marie and Ian?"

"Yeah. They're just as good at performing as Mr. Shue and Ms. Corcoran. Maybe it wouldn't kill us to try to partner up." Claire smiled.

So, in the auditorium, all four of them met and Anne Marie asked, "So what are we doing here?"

Claire said, "We just decided to work with you two on this assignment?"

Ian asked, "Why?"

Claire and Henry smiled and nodded. Henry said, "Honestly, because we really like you guys. And you're a lot more spirited than most of the people here at this school."

Claire said, "None of the others except for Rachel would even take a chance on us, especially me, and maybe if we all practiced together, people would notice us some more."

Ian said, "Well, there has been a lot going on lately."

Anne said, "And you two seem like genuine people. Plus, you guys are pretty awesome, too. And considering you want to work with us, well, how can we say no?" She sat by the piano and started to play while the teens were singing the reprise of "What I've Been Looking For."

Ian said, "I think we just formed our own band."

Puck managed to convince Lauren Zizes to fill in for Kurt while he was away at Dalton. He put on his suit and tie, along with a hippo broach and took a high-five from a random student. He was content. When he entered the commons, they gave him a cute little yellow bird named Pavarotti. Elsewhere, Lauren helped Puck out of a tough situation. He asked her, "Are you an angel?" To which she replied, "Screw you." She helped him up. In the hallway, Lauren said she would join glee if he gave her Cadbury chocolate eggs, even though it wasn't Easter yet, and then Seven Minutes in Heaven. In the choir room, Puck said she rocked his world. Santana was disgusted. Will said, "Well, everyone welcome our newest member, Lauren Zizes. Nice work, Puck." They shook hands and their was quiet clapping for Lauren.

When they were at Sectionals, Lauren wanted some Raisinettes. Rachel had to get some. Kurt walked up to her. "Carb-loading?"

"They're for Lauren. She's a very warm body. Did you get a solo?"

"Sadly, no."

"Wow. They must be really good. Sorry. I'm sure you were really good."

"I was. At least I think I was. How come you were never this nice to me when we were on the same team?"

"Because you were my only real competition."

The announcer called, "For our first performance, the Hipsters!"

The Hipsters started to sing, "In the Living Years." They were actually very well done. Applause occurred. Later, it was the Warblers turn.

The announcer called, "And now, for our second performance, from Dalton Academy in Westerville, the Warblers!"

They were all singing Train's "Soul Sister." Rachel urged Kurt to smile and he did. Applause and cheering. Some of them stood up.

Lauren said, "This costume is giving me uncomfortable chafing."

Sam asked Quinn, "Are you okay?"

"No," she answered. "I think I'm having PTSD."

Mercedes read a magazine and said, "You know, I'd be happy to fill in."

Artie rolled away. Mike asked, "What's Artie all worked up about?"

Claire straightened her dressed. "How do I look?"

Anne Marie said, "You look great."

Henry asked, "How do you know this isn't organic?"

Ian said, "Because you can clearly see the logo on it."

Will walked in shouted, "Listen to yourselves!"

Lauren said, "Best greenroom ever."

Will said, "Remember where you were last year? No set list, no dance moves, no chance of winning. But you did win, especially because you did it together. Get up there and remind yourselves for six minutes you're not alone."

The bell dinged. Lights went on and off. Man, Will is the worst teacher.

When they were walking to backstage, Rachel's phone dinged. She pulled it out, unenthused. Then she read a text from Jack that read, "Hey, you. Break a leg. ;)" Rachel smiled. Ian said, "Rachel, you coming?"

Rachel nodded, "Yeah." Making sure no one was looking, she kissed her phone lightly.

Backstage, Claire kept adjusting her dress and glasses.

Henry asked, "Are you all right?"

"No. I've never done this before."

"You're gonna do great. I'll be right by your side."

"I don't even know all the moves."

"Just do what everyone else does."

Lauren was doing pushups. Puck asked, "What are you doing?"

"I'm a wrestler."

"Look, you don't have to be nervous."

"I'm not nervous."

The announcer called, "And now, for our final performance, from McKinley High, the New Directions!"

Quinn asked, "What?"

Sam said, "You look beautiful."

They started off by singing "I've Had the Time of My Life" from Dirty Dancing. Then Santana was singing "Valerie" by Amy Winehouse. Mike and Brittany totally killed their dance moves. Applause and cheering was really loud. Will was surprised and impressed.

Mercedes waved at Kurt. He winked at her. Pete Sosnowski walked in front and cleared his throat. "Thank you. Thanks to all the groups who performed here today. We all had a seriously good time. Drum roll, please. In third place…the Hipsters!" Applause. "Drive carefully. And now, the winner of this year's Sectionals is…we have a tie." Lauren looked confused. "Congratulations. You're all going to Regionals!" Applause and cheering occurred. Blaine shook hands with Will. "Congratulations."

"Nice work. See you at Regionals." Claire and Henry hug. They got nervous. Henry said, "We get to go on." Claire nodded, "Yeah."

In Dalton, Kurt was starting to get worried about Pavarotti. Not singing and losing some of his feathers. Blaine said the bird was just molting, thank goodness.

In the teacher's lounge, Will was reading. Emma sat down in front of him. "Hi, Will. Are you okay? We haven't talked at all since Sectionals. What are you doing for Christmas this year?"

"Just gonna spend some quiet time alone."

"Will, you can't spend Christmas by yourself. Look, Carl and I are having a Christmas Eve party. You should come."

"Well, thanks, Emma. That's very sweet of you, but I don't think Carl wants me there."

Beiste walked in. "Okay, educators, gather round. It's time to pick your Secret Santa. You get who you get and you don't get upset." Are you sure about that, Beiste? Because when Will drew a name, it read "Sue." Emma wasn't thrilled about who she drew, either. Neither was anyone else in the room.

In the choir room, everyone was decorating and getting ready for Christmas. Mike and Brittany were dancing together. Some put the tree up, others were wrapping presents.

Will walked in. "Hey, guys. What's all this?"

Finn said, "Oh, we were just trying to get into the Christmas spirit, Mr. Shue. It's my favorite holiday. I found this tree on the side of the road. It must've fallen off a car or something."

Mercedes said, "This tree is like our mascot. We won Sectionals two years in a row and everyone still hates us. They've even started Slushing teachers now." Will raised his eyebrows.

Shelby and Jack were walking down the hallway in a flashback. Jack said, "So I was thinking maybe we could grade papers at my place, have some pizza or something."

Shelby said, "Ooh. Pizza. What, with Sour Patch Kids?"

Karofsky and Azimio splashed them, Shelby with green and Jack with red. Azimio yelled, "Ho-ho-ho! Happy holidays, teachers!"

Back in the present, Mike said, "They used red and green food coloring in the parking lot."

Lauren said, "You can eat that, you know."

Brittany said, "Pretty soon, no one will bully us."

Lauren said, "She's kidding, right?"

Will said, "Guys, I appreciate the effort, but I am not gonna let you guys throw a pity party. This year, McKinley is going to donate to the Vent-o Homeless Children and Youth Center."

They were all singing a combination of "Deck the Halls" and "Up on the Rooftop." Some of the students were not enthusiastic. The guy who looked like Lee Jordan had NO taste in music whatsoever.

Back in the choir room, everyone was still decorating the tree.

Claire said, "There are a lot of Santa naysayers in the world."

Sam said, "Which is anyone over the age of 10."

Rachel's voice-over said, "Well, I'm not as greedy as Quinn or Santana. This year for Christmas, I'm hoping to get a kiss under the mistletoe from a Mr. Jack Masterson. Not really a lip-lock, more of a peck on the cheek. But I haven't had much luck so far."

Then in another flashback, Rachel ran excitedly to the doorway of a hallway after flipping her hair back. By the time she stopped there, she said, "Ahem. Hey, Jack."

Jack looked at her and smiled, "Oh, hey, Rachel. What's up?"

"Funny you should ask that."

However, Sue appeared and said, "What is this doing up here?" She pulled the mistletoe down with a yank.

Tina hissed. Mercedes said, "Ooh."

Rachel said, "Probably should've seen that one coming."

Back in the present, Shelby walked to Rachel and asked, "Hey, Rachel, what are you doing?"

"Well, it is Christmas. I'm hoping to get Jack a decent present. I know I'm in over my head trying to find a present for someone I hardly know, but I just can't help myself. I haven't said one intelligent thing since I met the guy and I just… I want him to take me seriously."

"Honey, everyone takes you seriously. I certainly do."

"Well, despite that, he makes me want to be a better person."

"Rachel, you already are a great person."

"Some people don't think so."

"Well, maybe next year, you'll find Mr. Right."

Rachel looked at Jack and said, "In fact, I think Mr. Right could be right around that corner."

"That's oddly specific."

"I think he likes you."

Shelby smirked at her.

Rachel was in the auditorium. "Now, remember, it has to be lush and romantic."

Finn asked, "Why?"

"Well, because I'm very specific when I give a gift. So, how do you like my winter wonderland?"

"Well, I don't really like artificial trees. I like real ones."

"Right. Anyway, I'm thinking about what I should give for a present. Being a Jew, I don't generally give Christmas gifts, but considering how much you like the holiday, I figured I'd make an exception. What do you think of this?"

Finn opened it and read the note, "The bearer of this note is entitled to one song of Rachel Berry's choosing, sung to him or her with love."

"At least it's not a kitten."

The guitarist said, "Should we leave?"

"No," Rachel told him. "Besides, the AV club worked really hard on the snow." She started singing, "Merry Christmas, Darling" by the Carpenters, fantasizing about Jack. Although she also had feelings for Finn, she couldn't help having a crush on Jack. Even though she also knew that he had a crush on Shelby. Quinn and Sam were kissing under their own mistletoe.

Jack was in a studio working on some choreography. He was spinning and panting, then Shelby walked by and stood by the doorway, smiling. Jack was just about done when he noticed her reflection in the mirror. "Shelby."

"Hey. Sorry, the door was open. Now, why didn't you tell me you could dance?"

"You didn't ask."

Shelby said, "Did you always want to be a dancer?"

Jack said, "Well, I took a couple of lessons when I was in high school, but I had to beg my parents to let me take them privately so no one would tease me about it."

"Well," Shelby replied, "the joke would've been on them. You're actually really good."

Jack smiled, walked and turned on a radio nearby. Soft music started to play. He held out his hand and said, "Would you like to dance?"

Shelby said, "I don't know. I'm not very much of a dancer. I just can't dance."

"Well, maybe I could teach you."

Shelby smiled and gave him her hand, he pulled her close and they started to dance.

Jack said, "Just try not to step on my toes." Shelby chuckled.

Blaine put down a radio. "Hey."

Kurt said, "You scared me. What's with the boom box?"

"I need you to sing with me. Well, rehearse with me. I got a gig singing Baby, It's Cold Outside."

"Ah, a personal favorite."

"Will you sing it with me?"

"Anything to get me to take a break from reading Naked Heat." Blaine closed the book and turned on the radio. They were singing "Baby, it's Cold Outside" while, elsewhere, Shelby and Jack were dancing. He twirled her and did a few spins. Jack dipped Shelby, and they spun around a few times. Blaine played a few notes on the piano. When the music stopped, the dance stopped. Shelby was panting. Blaine chuckled. Kurt told him, "I think you're ready."

"Wow," Shelby said. Jack smiled sheepishly. He felt his face burning and he chuckled. Shelby said, "Well, if there were ever a dance contest, I think you'd win first place."

Jack said, "Well, for the record, I think you'd be a better dance partner than Sue."

Shelby chuckled, "I should get going. I told Rachel I would meet her. Thanks for the dance, Jack."

"Anytime." And Shelby took off. Jack sighed deeply and blushed.

Back at Dalton, Will came by for some advice on what to give Sue for Christmas. They hugged. "Mr. Shue."

"It's good to see you, Kurt. Friend of yours?"

"Yeah, just a friend. But I'm in love with him and he's actually gay, so I call that progress."

"Listen, do you think you could give me some pointers? I'm completely tapping out here. I haven't always been the best at giving gifts."

Rachel and Jack were walking down the hallway the next day. "Would you like to dance?" Rachel said, surprised. "You actually said that to her?"

Jack smiled, "It felt like I was floating."

Rachel said, "High-five," and they did.

Will walked with Emma, "I can tell who wrapped that. Who's it for?"

"Sue," Emma said with disdain, "I drew her as my Secret Santa."

"Wait, that's not possible. Sue's my Secret Santa."

Beiste said, "No, I'm Sue's Secret Santa."

Sue said, "I'm everybody's Secret Santa."

Shelby sighed, "Wow, Sue. Wow. Anything to save a buck."

"I'm sorry. Who are you again?"

"Shelby Corcoran. Rachel's sister."

"Oh, right. You're the lady who won with Vocal Adrenaline last year at Regionals. Kudos, by the way."

Emma asked, "You rigged Secret Santa?"

Beiste said, "How? It was my idea."

Sue said, "You're not the only one who consumes protein bars."

In a flashback, while Beiste was helping Sue with the lights, Becky swapped the jars.

Emma said, "With only your name."

Shelby said, "Some of those presents have to go to a children's center. That's 200 times 25 plus 75 equals… I don't have a calculator."

Emma said, "You're not gonna get away with this, Sue."

Sue said, "I think I already have. I love getting presents. William, Elmo, Beiste, you." Shelby glared at her.

Will said, "You know what you are, Sue? You're a Grinch."

Beiste said, "This is a very expensive blender."

Will dropped her phone on purpose. Becky picked it up and put it back.

"At ease, Becky."

The glee girls were about to start "Rocking Around the Bathroom Stall," which is a song parody from Jingle Spells, by the Moaning Myrtles. (It's a Harry Potter fan album, but perfectly legal.) They all seemed to be enjoying themselves. Rachel was singing with Claire, Mercedes with Tina, even Brittany and Santana were enjoying themselves. Quinn too.

Sue painted her face green to make her look like the Grinch and dressed up like Santa. Becky looked like Grinch's dog, Max, with an antler on her head. In the choir room, they desecrated the tree and the present. Sinking so low.

Will walked in and stopped whistling when he saw the mess.

Mercedes said, "They took everything."

Tina said, "Even the gifts we were gonna give to the homeless kids."

Rachel said, "Just more proof that everyone at this school hates us."

Will said, "It's not the school. It's Sue. She did this."

Claire said, "I'm not surprised."

Finn said, "All around the world, way worse stuff has happened than this. I'm not gonna let this get us down. Tis the season."

Will said, "I agree. Come on, guys. Let's clean this up."

Rachel smiled when she saw Jack. She took a breath and walked to the doorway. Finn turned to look. Rachel stopped at the doorway. Jack turned and said, "Hey, Rachel."

"Hi."

"What the heck happened in here?"

"Sue happened. She destroyed our tree and took all our presents. Even the ones we had to give to the homeless shelter."

"Wow, taking gifts from homeless kids. That is a whole new kind of low."

"Yeah, well, anyway, now we have to get a new one. I don't suppose you know any Christmas tree lots. I know you're still new in this town, but you must know some locations here by now."

"Actually, I do. I don't have anything to do tonight. Maybe I could get you guys a new tree."

"Would you? That'd be so great."

"You want to come with me?"

"Yes! Uh, I mean, yeah. Okay, that'd be great."

"Then I'll see you tonight." He walked away. Rachel's heart started beating rapidly.

At the tree lot, Rachel and Jack were walking at night looking for a tree.

Jack asked, "What's that smell?"

Rachel said, "Oh. Christmas pine. I know how much people like that scent, but I guess I don't really need it now that we have the real thing." She cleared her throat and grabbed his arm. "It's so cold out. It's cuddle weather."

"Uh, it's unseasonably warm for this time of year, but…"

"I just really wanted to come here with you. I mean, the tree is the foundation of Christmas. I know it's not what's important, but it's nice to look at. It's the hearth of Christmas. Without it, there wouldn't be anywhere to hang the ornaments or put presents under."

"Yeah."

"Oh, I love this song. It's one of my favorites from Wham."

"Yeah. Um, I'm gonna look down this row of firs and maybe you could check out the Douglasses. I'll meet you at the end."

"Okay." Last Christmas played.

After a while, Rachel said, "So, what do you want for Christmas?"

"All I want, Rachel, is to be with my family."

"Oh. Well, that's easy. All you have to is be with them."

"It's not that easy. My whole family lives in LA. That's where I'm from. But after what Sue did to all the teachers, I don't know if I'm gonna make it this year."

"It's Christmas, Jack. You should be with your family."

"I don't have enough money for a plane ticket. Thanks for being here with me, Rachel, but I'm just not feeling the Christmas spirit this year. Come on, I'll take you home." He walked away.

Rachel looked so sad.

In the choir room, Finn said, "This was my dad's."

Mike said, "He'd want you to do it for those kids." Finn put his watch in a hat.

Puck said, "This was my uncle's." He and Sam put their watches in.

Quinn said, "I'm gonna look terrible."

Tina said, "Oh, please. With your looks, you could rock the Rosemary's baby look and still look good. I'm gonna look like Jackie Chan."

Rachel said, "If Barbra can pull off a bob, so can I."

Santana said, "Enough yapping. Let's do this."

Will stopped everyone. "What's going on in here?"

Mercedes said, "We're going all Gift of the Magi to raise money for the homeless kids."

Will said, "You can't do that."

Santana said, "Oh, no, it's cool. Most of this isn't mine anyway."

Rachel said, "We tried caroling and that didn't turn out well."

Artie said, "Wait, I thought you and Jack were getting us a new tree."

Rachel said, "We went, but Jack bailed at the last minute before we could get one. He's not gonna be able to afford to see his family this year."

Will said, "That sucks."

Puck scoffed, "So what? He can visit his family any old time."

Tina scolded, "Yeah, but at Christmas, you're supposed to be with your family."

Mercedes snapped, "You are not gonna diss that beautiful man on the most joyous of holidays." Finn and Mike glared at Puck.

Brittany said with dry sarcasm, "Yeah. Nice Christmas spirit, Puck."

Will said, "Look, guys, stop fighting. Did any of you ever actually read Gift of the Magi? None of you?"

Quinn said, "You don't have to read Gift of the Magi, everybody knows what happens in it."

"Well, if you actually read it, you'd know what it's about."

Santana said, "We know what it's about. Life freaking sucks."

Will said, "Actually, you're right."

In Shelby's apartment, Rachel was having dinner with her discussing their Christmas plans. Rachel said, "Shelby, my dads and I always have Christmas dinner together. Maybe this year you'd finally like to join us."

Shelby was a bit reluctant. "Um, Rachel, I'd love to, but you and I, we only just started getting to know each other."

"Yeah, I know, and it's been a couple of months, so I think that's a considerable amount of time. So, could you at least think about it first?"

Shelby raised her eyebrows before saying, "Well, I don't know. It's been so long since I saw Hiram and Leroy. I don't know how they'd feel about me being there."

"You don't have to come if it makes you feel uncomfortable."

"Well, if it means that much to you for me to be there, I might swing by."

"Really? Great."

Shelby smiled.

"You know, I think I might finally know a way how I can help someone."

In Jack's apartment, Shelby was helping him decorate the tree. She put the star and top and lost her balance. Jack grabbed her in time. "Oh, uh, thanks."

"Yeah."

As soon as they were done, she said, "Isn't that the most beautiful thing you've ever seen in your life?"

Jack looked at her and said, "Well, it's a close second."

Shelby said, "Merry Christmas, Jack."

"Merry Christmas, Shelby."

Shelby looked up and said, "What?" She noticed they were under the mistletoe. Jack looked up as well. Shelby smiled, touched his face, and kissed his cheek. He smiled. As soon as she walked off, Jack touched his cheek where she kissed him and kept smiling. Then he spun around and said, "Yeah!" He jumped. "Yes." He sighed.

In the teacher's lounge, the teens were asking the staff to give money to the kids. Finn said, "So, uh, we're your students. We're trying to raise money for the kids that have a lot less than we do." Music started to play.

Becky said, "What's that, Coach?" Then they walked to the teacher's lounge and everyone was singing "Happy Christmas Day" from Jingle Spells by Oliver Boyd and the Remembralls, the lead singer's name being Christian Caldera. They really enjoyed it. Artie liked it, Will loved it, even Puck didn't hate it. Finn looked like he was having the most fun. Anne Marie donated and gave Ian a high-five. Figgins smiled and all the teachers were delighted.

Becky said, "Christmas came anyway, Coach."

In the choir room, Artie got a re-walk from a man in Israel. Everyone smiled. Beiste smiled from the doorway.

Rachel walked in Jack's office after school when the holiday vacation started. She knocked on his door. "Hi."

"Rachel. Come on in."

"Um, I just wanted to see you. You know, before vacation started, and…I know what you're going to tell me. But you could've at least said something about not being able to see your family. Why would you ever want to spend the greatest holiday ever alone? And I'm Jewish."

"I guess it's just a lot less of a hassle." "Well, no one should be alone on Christmas, least of all you. So, I had this idea and I wanted to give you your present." She pulled out a white envelope with a red ribbon. "Merry Christmas, Jack." He took it and opened it. He looked inside and pulled out a ticket. Rachel said, "It's a plane ticket. So you can go to L.A. and be with your family."

"Seriously?"

"I made the first donation. All of the glee club did. Even my dads and Shelby offered some money."

Jack stood up and hugged her.

"Oh!" She giggled. She was surprised and smiled.

"This is the best present I ever got." He spun her around thrice. When he set her down, he put on his jacket and grabbed his bag. "Rachel, thank you," he said. "I guess I'd better go home and start packing. I'll see you in the new year." He kissed her cheek. "Happy Hanukkah, Rachel." As soon as he left, Rachel touched her cheek. Then she jumped in delight. "Yes."

In Will's apartment, Sue was there. "Hey, Will."

"How did you get in here?"

"I had a key made ages ago. You remember that meanie who stole all your gifts?"

"Yeah. What made her change her mind?"

"Call it a Christmas miracle and leave it at that." She blew her whistle.

Everyone else was there. They were decorating the tree.

"I thought you hated the holidays," Will said.

"I don't," Sue said. "I just hate you."

Rachel smiled at Finn. When she looked away, he smiled at her.

"Merry Christmas, Sue."

"Merry Christmas, Will."