A/N I've said it before how I don't think the Buffy show is about feminism. Several essays I've read states that it is about feminism because the four main characters, Buffy, Willow, Xander and Giles, subvert the stereotypes. Buffy and Willow are the strong, as in powerful, central characters and Xander and Giles are not physically strong, thus not powerful, but are emotional supports for Buffy and Willow and this is true. But both are also the only ones to be financially successful, the girls are dependent on them, not the other way around. Giles gives Buffy money and Xander constantly repairs the damage to her home and both of them are constantly encouraging and helping the girls and almost never get any help and encouragement in return.

I think the audience have gotten their messages mixed up, especially in light of Joss admitting he wanted to and very nearly did, make Normal Again canon. Normal Again being the episode were Buffy is in a hospital being treated for a mental illness. Making Sunnydale and everything that happens in it, part of her delusion.

Which means Buffy is really an exploration of mental and emotional problems.

Buffy suffers from depression throughout the run of the show, Willow struggles with addiction, Xander with fears and Giles with incompetence.

Xander is a physically and emotionally abused child and internalizes his fears and like a volcano they occasionally erupt. Because abused children try not to call attention to themselves, attention means more abuse. It's one of the reasons why his and Cordelia's relationship is so good, they have healthy conversations and she's aware of his fears and problems, after the Fluke, she uses them against him, but she couldn't do that if she didn't know what they were and she knew because he told her. With Anya everything just stayed buried, their relationship started out with sex and feelings eventually developed but healthy discourse didn't.

Willow is passive aggressive from day one, but she's also an emotionally neglected child and such children are given to extremes in behavior to try to get attention, even unhealthy attention, so her addiction, which is how the show explains her problems with Magic, results from it.

Buffy suffers from depression over the run of the whole show and this manifests as unhealthy relationship choices and self abusive behavior, while causing enormous problems for others.

Xander is all too aware of how the cause of his fears could result in other people's being hurt. So is Faith who comes from a similar background as him and erupts periodically as well.

Buffy and Willow don't see the pain their choices and actions cause. In Dead Man's Party, Buffy's welcome home party, the others try to explain to her how her actions and choices affected them. Both she and the audience feel sorry for her and she tries to deflect and run away again rather than face the fact that her choices, her actions have caused problems for others. In Revelations she tries to deflect again and this time it's Giles who explains to her how her actions, her choices affected him.

In Empty Spaces where Buffy gets kicked out of the house, everyone tries to explain again how her actions, her choices have affected them and once again she deflects, this time on to Faith instead of Xander as she's done before. And the audience feels sorry for her and hates the others.

But nothing ever gets resolved. Xander's fears aren't addressed, Willow gets a nominal amount of counseling and eventually relapses in the comics and Buffy's depression is never treated. Faith goes to jail and does get some help and for awhile does improve, but her eruption also got outside attention.

At first I thought just Xander and Faith and their problems had been ignored by Giles, who does try to help Buffy and Willow and by the audience. The more I examine the show and read the essays and the cast and crew interviews, the more I see all of them needed real help and weren't getting it.

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Xander stared at himself in the mirror in the boy's locker room. He didn't recognize himself. Oh, it was still him, but the last time he'd looked in the mirror his shoulders hadn't been this broad and while he'd had muscles, he hadn't had definition like this. And his face, the last of the baby fat had been burned away leaving a hard, square jawline and a hint of cheekbones. At not yet 18 he'd never had a five o'clock shadow, just a light scrape of a razor every morning had been all he'd needed to keep facial hair at bay. Now he'd probably have to full on shave morning and night.

He wondered what Cordy would say, would the way he looked now appeal to her? Loosing her was unthinkable and yet he'd lived with the fear that he just wasn't good enough, would never be good enough for her. Not that she'd treated him like that since after the love spell when she'd chosen him over popularity, but before that she'd said it plenty.

And now he was physically stronger, if he hurt her it could be really bad and he never, ever wanted to hurt her, to hurt anyone, but what if he slipped, what if he did hurt her or someone else? Could he take the chance?

He remembered kissing Willow and wondered why the Hell he done that. He didn't want to hurt Cordy, but knowing he'd kissed another girl would hurt her. He needed to talk to Willow and he needed to confess and apologize to Cordelia. He just hoped she could forgive him, even though he was certain he didn't deserve it.

And he needed to get better at making choices that didn't hurt people. He couldn't just not want to hurt people, he had to actively not hurt them. Especially now.