"Xander, is there anything I can do for you?" Cordelia asked, as she drove him to the Crawford Street Mansion.

"Not right now, but soon we're going to have to sit down and have a long conversation." Xander answered.

Cordelia glanced worriedly at him out of the corner of her eye. "Are you going to break up with me over this?"

"Whether we break up or not is up to you, not me. I don't ever want to break up with you, Cordy. You chose me over popularity and I've never been so happy. If you ever do break up with me, I'll fight to get you back. But I promise, I meant what I said earlier, I don't just not want to hurt people, I'm going to actively work to make choices and do things that don't hurt anyone. Most especially you. So yes, we need to talk and soon, but not now because I'm exhausted and I need a clear head. But you don't ever have to worry that I'll break up with you, because that's not what I want."

"Okay, then how about after school tomorrow I'll come over and we can talk."

"That works for me. I need to start working on this new life too. High School's not an option for me anymore, I look 25, but I'm a month and a half away from 18. And amazingly, I now understand that hormones really do make male teenagers morons because there's less blood in the brain. I'm thinking a lot more clearly than I can remember thinking, well, ever. And I know what I want. You and us."

"Me too." Cordelia assured him. "Willow mentioned your fears earlier, is that part of what you want to talk about?"

"Yes and I hope you still feel that way after we talk, I'll see you tomorrow, after school. Drive careful, okay?" He smiled at her and let himself out of the car and carrying his bag made his way into the Mansion, his new home.

"Hey, Angel." Xander greeted his new roommate and thought how surreal that was, sharing space with Angel, the guy who won Buffy's heart. Xander searched his own heart and knew he wasn't jealous anymore. Buffy and Angel had it rough, to put it mildly and short of a miracle, Angel would be condemned to a lonely life and then Hell when someone or something finally destroyed him and Buffy was a Slayer, they tended to have a short shelf life and happily ever afters just didn't happen. They'd both been screwed over and as mad as Xander was over the changed circumstances of his life, he couldn't hate them, like him, other people had forced a change of circumstances on both of them and condemned them to lonely lives in the process. That was to be pitied. And unlike them, he had a light in his darkness, Cordelia, at least for now and as long as she was willing

"Are you hungry?" Angel asked. "You need to learn to recognize when you need blood, believe me, you don't want to lose control and hurt someone. Having that on your conscience, especially given how much you don't want to hurt anyone in general, is damn hard to live with."

"At least you know it wasn't you, even if you remember the actions. Angelus did those things, not you. I can see the difference. Angelus was loony toons, you're not."

"As Angel I've done things I regret too. Why do you think I avoid people? The temptation is...intense and I've broken before and have to live with it."

"Than find out if being human is even possible. If not, make a fail-safe."

"A fail-safe?"

"There are other ways to lose the soul than breaking the curse. Have yourself confined, the soul freed and Angelus destroyed. Make it a fail-safe, a way out so the soul doesn't end up back in Hell because it's bound to a demon."

"That's...not something I ever considered. I'll have to think about it. So, hungry?"

"I have no idea, how do I know?"

Angel bit his finger and waved it under Xander's nose. Xander was shocked when the scent hit his system and his teeth lengthened. He tentatively touched one and felt the sharp tip draw blood. Angel popped a blood bag on them and after a few seconds pulled the now empty bag away and tossed it in the trash.

"Thank God I didn't have to drink it!"