(The following is a nonprofit work of fanfiction and is outside of the original canon. All names, characters, businesses, places, events, and/or incidents of any kind depicted within this story are being used for entertainment purposes only.)

(The Loud House and all related characters were created by Chris Savino and all rights belong to Nickelodeon.)

- Chapter Three -

Saved by the Bell

Royal Woods Middle School. Just what exactly was there to say about it?

A place of knowledge? A place of learning? Sure, those two subjects counted for a lot of things. But it also came with its fair share of problems like any other school would have, like being forced to deal with the unforgiving status quo known as peer pressure as well as bullies who would pound you into dust for your lunch money. That is only if you didn't have a single clue as to how to survive in such an environment. When my friends and I first came to this school the year before in '86, after having graduated from Elementary, it wasn't exactly an easy change for us.

We didn't want to leave behind the place where we made a lot of good memories—and even a few of the bad ones that we so desperately wanted to forget about as much as possible. Change was never an easy subject for kids like me who were very reprehensive towards such an idea. It may have taken us a short while to get well-adjusted, but over some time in the next couple of weeks since we first arrived—and thanks to the help of Lynn's experience—Royal Woods Middle School almost became like a second home to us. Okay, maybe not exactly all of us, but you understand what I am getting at.

After having suffered through five straight hours of Math, English, Science, Gym Class, and History, the final bell rang out, thus officially ending school for the next three months, and releasing a very large number that made up most of the student body. Finally, we no longer had to face another year of bullies shoving us into our lockers, trudge through mountain piles of homework assignments, and/or chow down whatever terrifying concoction Chef Pat had cooked for lunch. At last, school was officially out, and summer vacation was in. The whole idea left me feeling totally pumped up.

From the moment my sister and I walked through the door of our classroom and stepped out into the main hallway, the atmosphere felt quite electric. Other kids like us came pouring out by the droves from the other classrooms, looking very happy and excited for this much-needed summer break. The lit-up, low-ceiling hallways were teeming with young life, boys and girls of various shapes and sizes and a few that were currently going through the horror known as puberty.

If I didn't know any better, I could have sworn this entire building was stuck somewhere in the late 70's, for the décor of the walls still had that fake wooden paneling that went vertically up from the floor to the ceiling. You know the kind of paneling I'm referring to. Rows upon rows of bluish gray steel lockers were perfectly aligned against each side of the hallway, sometimes cut off between by the doors which led into the other classrooms.

Close to our location, I couldn't help but spot a light blue poster that was firmly pinned by four thumbtacks on the flat surface of a school noticeboard. "Crack is whack! Math is rad!" the poster read; the words printed on the front in that fancy and decorative brush style font. I snorted in amusement. For sure, crack was definitely whack, there was no doubt about it at all. The last thing I wanted in my life was to become nothing but a shriveling wastoid hooked on drugs.

Math, on the other hand, was strongly debatable...

"Hey, Lynn! Lincoln! Wait for me!" a familiar voice called both of our names, as the two of us neared our respective lockers. Lynn and I turned around behind us and what we saw brought a warm smile to my face. Approaching us was none other than my lifelong childhood best friend, Clyde McBride. Clyde was a twelve-year-old African American kid, and a nerdy-looking one at that.

Not that I thought it was a bad thing, of course, considering that I was kind of a little nerd myself. His thick and curly black hair was styled into a Michael Jackson-inspired perm, and he wore a pair of large, rounded glasses. He was dressed in a blue short-sleeved buttoned-up shirt with yellow triangles and polka dots, and his denim pants were light blue with a little black belt wrapped around his waist.

"Well, today's the day, Clyde," I said, right before we gave each other our secret handshake. "You ready for the summer, dude?" Clyde's face beamed when he heard that.

"Oh, absolutely!" he said, his voice seasoned with a large pinch of excitement. "This year is going to be so righteous! I can just feel it already in my bones!" He then turned to look at my sister.

"How about you, Lynn? You got any plans for this summer?"

"Oh, you know it," she answered him with a beaming face "And boy, I cannot wait to get started. And it starts first thing today by going home, kicking back, and watching a bit of TV before practicing my bat swings."

As the three of us continued on down the school's main hallway, heading over to our respective lockers, we continued in our conversation about whatever else we had planned for this year's summer vacation, those including—but not limited to—going to Gus' Games & Grub this Saturday with Clyde, my upcoming twelfth birthday on the following week, which was just in four days. Out of everything that I was looking forward to doing this year, that last one was definitely at the very top of my summer vacation to-do list.

"And then, before the year is out," Clyde said, his face morphing into a glazed look, one that I easily recognized all too well, much to my chagrin, "this will be my chance where I can finally propose to my one true love; Lori." Lynn's shoulders scrunched up and she made a disgusted face when she heard him say that out loud. Me? I just simply frowned and shook my head at him. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention one other detail; Clyde had an unwavering crush on my older sister, Lori.

I'd been trying to get him out of that phase for a while now, with little to no success to show for it. It happened about seven years prior right after I first met him in the fall of 1980, when I invited him over to my house for dinner for the very first time. I saw this as nothing more than a golden opportunity to introduce my family to my new friend, completely oblivious to the fact that I was about to make a really big mistake. When Clyde actually came over that day, Lori was unfortunately the first person to open the front door and meet him face-to-face.

"You must be Lincoln's new friend," she said cheerily to him. "I'm Lori. What's your name?" I noticed too late that from the moment he laid his bespectacled eyes upon her, I could have sworn I saw little hearts suddenly float around him, and his eyes became big and bug-eyed. I stared at him confusedly with one eyebrow raised up.

"Clyde?" I said, snapping my fingers in front of him to grab his attention. "Clyde? Hello! Earth to Clyde!"

"She's the most beautiful girl I have ever seen in my entire life," he muttered, a string of drool beginning to ooze from the left side corner of his mouth.

Right after that thirteen-word sentence came pouring out of his mouth, I finally realized my big mistake. I couldn't tell you enough that that was quite possibly the most awkward dinner I've ever experienced. For seven years since that fateful day, he tried every method he could think of to seek after her affection, ignoring the fact that she was not only six years older than him, but she also already had a boyfriend as well. A boyfriend who late became long-distance, but still.

"You are seriously in over your head, McBride," Lynn remarked to my best friend with a deadpanned expression.

"Oh, Lynn," Clyde said, a sense of confidence beginning to pepper his tone and demeanor. "Ye of little faith. I promise you guys that it's going to be different."

"That's what you've been saying for the last seven years, dude," I argued as I collected my remaining stuff from my locker and placed them inside my backpack.

"Yeah, but I mean it this time," he countered back, his confidence still unyielding. Then he made that same glazed look again. "And when it does happen, my precious lovebug and I will finally be together like I've always dreamed." I stared at him with a simple frown, and I shook my head again.

Why do I even bother trying anymore? I thought. At this point, you're so beyond hopeless.

"That is assuming you don't lose your cool and pass out from a giant nosebleed first," Lynn commented, slinging her backpack across her shoulders. "But I'm warning you now, McBride; it's not going to go the way you're hoping it will. And besides, what even makes you think Lori is going to fall for you this time around?"

"Oh, it will work, Lynn," Clyde said. "And this time around, I've got it all figured out."

"Clyde, as much as I'd love to hear you explain your current plans to try and win my sister's heart—again," I said to him as I closed my locker, "but I think we should all get going right about now before... You-Know-Who shows up and—"

Fate seemed to have listened in on what I was saying, because no sooner did I say that, as if perfectly on cue—

"Top of the afternoon to you, nerds!" a random voice which came out of nowhere greeted in a rather obnoxious-sounding tone. A voice that instantly made my shoulders tense up and my teeth clench together. I groaned under my breath.

Good Lord above, when will this nightmare end? The three of us turned our gazes over to the side. Lo and behold, standing right before us was the last so-called human being I wanted to see again for the third time in a row at school today.

"Ugh, what do you want, Chandler?" I grunted annoyedly. My schoolmate, Chandler McCann, former popular kid, user, backstabber, annoying prankster, and quite possibly the bane of my existence since elementary school, stood at a matching height like ours. His auburn red hair was short at the top, and he had a rather ugly hillbilly mullet that draped down passed his shoulders. His choice of apparel comprised of an unbuttoned lime green cargo shirt, a simple black T-shirt and a pair of gray acid washed jeans with some stylized rips at the knees.

"Whoa, how about you take a chill pill and relax, Loud!" my arch-rival said almost defensively, all the while sneering in my direction. "I'm just here to say hi to you guys."

Yeah, sure you are, I thought sarcastically.

"Whatever you're going to say to us, just save it. We're not in the mood."

"You don't even know what I was going to say." he pointed out.

"Don't need to, don't want to," I stated. "Anyway, the three of us have much better things to do today than listen to your sorry excuse of a mouth." A weaselly-looking smile curled up on his freckled face.

"Pfft, like what exactly?" he began to antagonize, crossing his arms over his chest. "You losers planning on going home to play that lame Dungeons & Dragons with your equally lame group of friends? You do realize that game is widely considered to be satanic, right? I know this for a fact because my mom and dad said so. Is that what you guys are? A little cult of nerdy, basement-dwelling, demon-worshiping Satanists?" I scowled at my auburn-haired bully who remained right in front of me.

"I will have you know, Chandler McCann," I argued as calmly as I tried to be, "that Dungeons & Dragons is NOT in any way, shape, or form, satanic like you claim it is! You got that? There is no form of concrete evidence whatsoever that proves otherwise!" I felt Clyde's hand placed gently on my shoulder.

"Whoa, calm down, dude," he said to me. "He's just trying to rile you up."

"You know, it may not actually be satanic and stuff," Lynn voiced aloud suddenly, "but it most definitely is lame though, that's for sure." Clyde and I glanced at her direction, completely flabbergasted beyond belief by what she just said in front of us.

"Lynn, just whose side are you on?" I verbalized to my jock of a sister.

"Uh, nobody's?" she affirmed plainly. I stared at her with a deadpanned expression. Thanks a lot, sis. I knew I could count on you to help back us up. I looked back at my arch-rival.

"So, anyway," I began, "Just do us all a huge solid, McCann, and go gag yourself with a spoon." After glaring at us for a moment, he finally let it go.

"Hey, that's fine with me," he said, shrugging his shoulders. "I've got better things to do in my time than hang around with you losers anyway. Catch you on the flip side, buttheads." And just like that, Chandler turned around and walked away in the opposite direction, not before looking back at us one final time, and mockingly sticking his tongue out. And then, he finally disappeared amongst the crowd of surrounding kids. A low and frustrated sigh escaped my lips.

"Mullet-wearing punk," I muttered venomously under my breath. I cannot believe I tried to be friends with that little jerk at one point. With that little ordeal over and done with, Lynn, Clyde, and I grabbed our backpacks and walked down the school hallway until we reached the front exit doors. After stepping through the doors and out into the schoolyard, the warm afternoon sun shined down upon my face, relaxing me until I had almost forgotten about Chandler.

The other passing students came spreading out in droves, heading out to other parts of the schoolyard, and getting picked up by their own families. As the three of us waited there up close to the front curb, I could not help but catch one conversation between two other students located a short distance to my right. The two of them came a bit closer until they were perfectly within earshot. It very much sounded like they were having some kind of argument.

I distinctly remembered it going about as something like this...

"No way, dude," the first kid said to his friend. "There is no possible way in the entire world that could ever happen."

"Uh, yes it can," the second kid argued. "I'm telling you, man; Donald Trump could totally become President."

"And what makes you think he really could do it?" the first kid questioned; his tone seasoned with doubt.

"Because he is, like, one of the richest people in the entire country!" the second kid tried to reason. "With all that money he's got in his pockets, he could do just about anything, even run for the Oval Office!"

"Pfft, not in a million years, dude," the first kid doubted further. "Do you have any idea how much of his own wealth and power he would have to give up in order for him to run for that kind of position? If you want my opinion, I honestly think that Mr. Trump has got way better things to do in his time than try to run for Office."

The second kid frowned at his friend and crossed his arms.

"Oh yeah, smart guy?" he said, his tone giving off a challenging vibe. "That smells an awful lot like a bet to me. What do you say, dude? Let's make a bet right here and right now." After thinking about it for a second, the first kid gave in.

"Sure, why not? I'm game," he said. "What are we betting on here?"

"Let's make a bet right here that sometime in the near future, after Old Man Reagan has finished his term, if Donald Trump actually does become President of the United States," the second kid explained, "then you have to give me exactly twenty-five dollars. No more and no less than that. Got it?"

"Alright, I got it," the first kid agreed, nodding his head. "But if he does not become President, like you are claiming he would, then you have to do about a third of my homework for the next three months afterward. Do we have a deal?" And so, the two of them confidently grabbed each other's hands and shook them with a firm grasp.

"Deal!" agreed the second kid. "It is so on, dude!" And with that, the two of them walked away in another direction away from ours, strongly assured that one side was going to win over the other. I shook my head a little bit. I was not normally one to think about politics, but the thought was starting to leave me wondering with a curious thought.

Could Trump really become President some day? Like, could he really do so? Well, if it was possible for a Hollywood actor like Ronald Reagan, then perhaps the same could be said for a rich millionaire like Donald Trump. I smiled a little bit when an amusing thought suddenly occurred to me.

Ronald and Donald... Put them together and you have Ronald McDonald. I mentally said, stifling a tiny snort. Now, that is just funny. When Mom, Dad, and the rest of the girls finally arrived with Vanzilla and drove up to the curb out in front of us, the side door opened as wide as it could. With that, Lynn and I said our goodbyes to Clyde, hopped inside our family van, and we drove on back home to our house.

"School's out for summer!" Luna sang almost quietly, lightly thrashing her head to Alice Cooper that played in her headphones. "School's out forever!" I smiled when I heard my rockstar for a sister sing those lyrics.

It sure is, Luna. It sure is.

"So, how was school, kids?" Dad asked from the front passenger seat. "Did you have a good day?" My scrawny shoulders slackened, and I pressed my back firmly against the seat next to Lynn, exhaustion beginning to take over my senses.

"It was good," I said almost dully and half-truthfully. Like I was in the mood to recount a few of the nonsense Chandler put me through today. "A little boring, but good. Though to be quite frank with you, Dad, I'm pretty glad that school is finally over."

"I second that," Lynn concurred. After turning to stare out into the side door window, watching some of the familiar office buildings, restaurants, the local K-Mart, and my favorite video rental store pass us by in a near-blurry haze, Lana suddenly spoke up from the seat next to me from my left.

"Hey, Lincoln!" she called to me excitedly. "You're not going to believe what I just found out early today!" I looked at my little mechanic for a sister with a curious smile.

"Yeah? What is it, Lana?" I asked her with a curious smile. By the look on her now red-cheeked face, I could tell she was having some trouble keeping a hold of her excitement. "Don't keep me in suspense, little sis! What is it?" At last, she could not keep it in any longer.

"There's going to be a Garbage Pail Kids movie!" she blurted out, her voice just barely above a shout but was still at a perfectly normal level of volume for everybody to hear. I blinked a few times, having some small trouble understanding what she just said to me.

"Hold on a second, there's going to be what now?" I asked her, trying to clean out my left ear with my pinky finger.

"You heard me, big brother!" she said excitedly. "There's going to be a movie of the Garbage Pail Kids!"

"Seriously?" I said to her, my eyebrows knitting closely together.

"Yep, for real!" she confirmed. It was around this time that Lana was a really big fan of the Garbage Pail Kids series of trading cards, a little something she had picked up from yours truly. Whenever we didn't have anything else to do, or when I bought a new set of cards from the local gas station to play with later, she and I would find ourselves trading some of the best cards we had for an even better one.

Her favorites were Junky Jeff while mine was the classic Adam Bomb. And now, upon just being told that our favorite trading cards series was being turned into an actual movie, I could not believe it. I may not have looked like it much, but I actually was pretty happy and excited for it.

"Where did you hear about this, Lana?" I asked my little sister.

"We just heard it on the radio on the way to pick you and Lynn up," Lori explained, sitting in her seat next to Leni in front of me, sounding not at all enthusiastic about this new information.

"Ugh, of all the movies they could make," Mom uttered behind the wheel, her eyes concentrated on the road ahead of her, "just why in the world did they pick something as disgusting as that?"

"I know, right?" Leni agreed, sticking her tongue out in disgust as she was brushing her hair. "Seriously, they're like so grody!

"Ugh, gag me with a spoon!" Lola commented, crossing her little arms.

"Seriously, Lincoln," Lori said, turned around to look at me. "Why couldn't you have chosen something a lot less gross to play with instead of that?" My brows knitted together, and I frowned at my older sister.

"Hey, I've got my hobbies, and you've got yours," I argued with her. "You don't see me criticizing the stuff you like, big sister."

"He does have a good point there, Lori," Luan interjected from behind Lynn and me. She smiled big, revealing her braces that were intertwined around her teeth. "And you know something, little bro?"

"What's that?" I asked my comedian for a sister.

"If you actually were a Garbage Pail Kid yourself, I think you ought to be called 'Stinkin' Lincoln'."

She let out a giggle, as did Lynn and Lana. The other girls just chuckled and laughed at the entire idea—except for Luna, who still had her headphones on. I knew Luan simply meant that as a joke. But you know what? The more I started to think about it, the more I came to realize that that did not sound like a bad idea. As much as I could not stand my crudely given nickname, "Stinkoln", I had to admit it would make a pretty radical name for a Garbage Pail Kids trading card.

"Honestly," Lisa lisped, she and Lily sitting directly behind Mom in their booster seats. "I do not believe that I will ever understand what is it that makes such a nauseating series of trading cards so visually appealing to this day and age's easily impressionable cavalcade of youths." Ignoring what Lisa had just said, I turned back to face Lana.

"So, when's it coming out?" I asked my little sister.

"It's going to come out this August!" she informed me. "Doh, I cannot wait!"

I'm with you there, little sis, I thought with a smile on my face.

Just absolutely amazing. Another awesome thing to look forward to later this summer vacation. When we all finally made it back home, back to good old 1216 Franklin Avenue, I immediately unbuckled and climbed out of Vanzilla and made a quick beeline for the front door, not even bothering to wait for Lynn and the girls to catch up. After walking inside of the living room, I ran up the flight of stairs to the upstairs hallway and headed straight for my bedroom. I stood there for a moment, looking around, and then I stretched my arms out.

Dropping my backpack on the carpeted floor, and then flopping down on my bed, I took a long deep breath, taking in everything the day had given me thus far. At long last, it was all over. From here on out, there was no more school. No more hours of brain-destroying tests 'til September. And most especially, no more having to deal with Chandler. At last, my plans for this summer can finally come into fruition. And it was going to start on the next day at Gus' Games & Grub. But at that moment, I was quite tired and wanted some quality privacy for myself.

Let's see what's playing on my Watchman right now. I reached into the bottom drawer of my nightstand and grabbed for my Sony Watchman, pulled up the aerial antenna, and tuned it through the other channels in the hopes of finding a good show to watch today.

Let's see what we what's on the air today, I mentally wondered. Perfect Strangers? Nah, not in the mood. My Little Pony? Pfft, not in a million years. Galaxy High? Absolutely not, I just got done with school today! The Brady Bunch? I don't even need to watch that; we practically are the Brady Bunch ourselves. The Dukes of Hazzard? Nah, I already saw that episode. Oh, sweet! SilverHawks!

Ah, the Sony Watchman. Truly, a very wonderful little device. For those who do not know what I am talking about, the Sony Watchman was a portable handheld television set that you could carry around with you at any time you wanted. The one I was using was an FD-10A model, a little present Clyde gave me for my eleventh birthday last year. It was approximately seven inches long, three inches wide, and it had a small, five-centimeter screen located right at the top.

Basically, it looked a lot like a walkie-talkie with a little TV screen on it. This puppy really was a unique invention at the time, helping to revolutionize the way people watched television on a day-to-day basis. You have no idea just how many times this thing came in handy for me whenever somebody was hogging the TV in the living room downstairs, especially if they happened to be either my mom and dad or one of/all ten of my sisters.

Now, I am able to watch a few of my favorite programs without having to worry about missing them. The one and only bad thing I had to say about the Watchman was that the screen was all in black-and-white, making everything I watched look like they came out of the 1940's instead of my own respective time period. But despite that little nitpick, I still enjoyed the little device very much.

Sure, the Watchman may be considered anything but special when you compare it to the technology we would have three decades later down the line. But back in those days, I thought it was totally the bee's knees. Like, the greatest invention ever created since the idea of sliced bread came into concept. Well, at least according to my impressionable eleven-year-old mind, that is. And quite possibly everybody else who lived in the 1980's as I did.

"Wings of silver, nerves of steel! SilverHawks!" I quietly sang the show's theme song. "Partly metal, partly real! SilverHawks!"

And then, after a short while of staring at the little screen, I began to dose off until I was overcome with sleep, transporting my mind into the fantastic realm that made up my dream world.

Three chapters down, and a whole lot more to go. I really hope you all enjoyed this one as I had writing it. Oh, and one other thing. Just so you guys know, the title for this chapter "Saved by the Bell" is not a reference to the original TV series of the same name, as much as I like the idea. Besides, it was more of a 90's show, even though it came out in 1989.

In truth, the name of the chapter is actually a reference to the aptly named title track from the soundtrack for the video game called Saturday Morning RPG. The song was written by Vince DiCola, who happens to be the music composer famously known for doing the soundtracks for Rocky IV and the original 1986 animated Transformers movie. Pretty cool, huh?

And yes, let us not forget about the dreaded impending doom known infamously as the Garbage Pail Kids Movie. Oh boy, Lincoln and the gang are going to be in for a real treat. LOL.

Anyways, I'll be catching you on the flip side in the next chapter, folks.

Peace out!