WELCOME EVERYBODY TO THE TWENTY EIGHTH EDITION OF THE KICK-ASS STORY BASED OFF OF THE HIT MOBILE GAME, THE BATTLE CATS. SIMPLY KNOWN BY MANY AS, THE BATTLE CATS: X! I HOPE YOU ENJOY WHAT I HAVE TO SHOW YOU.
It was a quiet morning over in Germany, The Battle Act are all eating some breakfast in the morning to get their energy required for the day ahead. Lizard Cat is cooking up a storm in the kitchen. He is grilling his own sunny side up eggs, while preparing some toast. "How can he even manage at such a short height?" You may ask. Lizard Cat is using our good old friend Fish Cat as support to hold him up so he can reach all the necessary condiments and equipment. Bob eventually wakes up and makes his way downstairs to the kitchen. Everyone is fighting over a bunch of food except Titan Cat, he just sips some coffee and watches it all happen in front of him.
Bob: Hey, morning Cats. he rubs his eye tiredly as he plops down onto a seat What's for eats?
Lizard Cat: Hey! Look who decided to wake up. Yeah we're all eating breakfast. he smirks as he burns some eggs with his embers Good sleep?
Bob: Nah, I had a shit sleep... he smacks his eyes as he looks at everyone I've been trying to sleep, but SOMEONE kept sleep walking on me. he shoots a glare at Cat before stealing his toast
Cat: Hey! I worked hard to get that toast from Axe Cat. Also I felt like I had something to do so I went downstairs, or I think I did. he giggles as he looks at Bob
Axe Cat: Woah! Was Cat really walking on you while you were trying to sleep? he cackles away as he steals his original toast from Bob who stole it from Cat Ew, it's covered in fur. he tosses it away
Bob: Yeah...he was. But I don't mind. I just need something to wake me up. Uhh...coffee! he grabs a cup and uses the coffee machine Isso deve funcionar. (That should do the trick)
Titan Cat: At least he didn't steal my coffee. he grumbles as he takes a sip
Bean Cat L: Hey Lizard Cat, is it okay if I take an egg? I'm hungry.
Lizard Cat: I appreciate your manners, kid, but it's raw. Do you want a raw egg? he continues to spew embers into the egg to heat it up
Bean Cat L: Oh that sounds disgusting. I'm not having any of that...
Bean Cat R: I'll try some. It sounds delicious. he giggles as he stares at Lizard Cat cooking away
Fish Cat: Can I try a sample of the raw egg? I never ate anything in eight hours! I'm starving...
Lizard Cat: That's because you were SLEEPING, dumbass. he kicks his head from above Now he a good boy, and stay being my stool.
Fish Cat: Yes sir. he sighs in defeat as he stares at the cooking from below
Gross Cat: Wow, who knew Fish Cat could be tamed in such a manner? That is genuinely crazy.
Bird Cat: Well, he is one for following orders when he has an empty stomach, just to be rewarded with a nutritious meal. he smirks But I am quite peckish myself, I could go for some toasted bread slices.
Cow Cat: Tank Cat over here managed to get me a huge supply of toast. And I can say I've never been any happier in my God damn life!
Tank Cat: Where I sit just happens to be the closest to the toaster. So you're welcome for that.
Suddenly, everyone else except, Titan Cat, Lizard Cat and Fish Cat (the latter two for very obvious reasons) all pile up on poor Tank Cat and desperately ask the innocent feline for some toast. He is confused and utterly terrified.
Cat: Please! Give me some toast, and I'll pay you back in the future, I promise.
Axe Cat: We're roomies. If you give me some toast, I'll let you use Matilda for a while, in return for some measly food which will disappear in a minute, I'm letting you use a powerful axe for an hour! If that's not a bargain I don't know what is.
Gross Cat: I'm STARVING here man! My legs are far too tall and aren't bulky enough, so I need the carbs to buff them up.
Bob: Hey Tank Cat! I'll pay you in Cat Food if you give me some toast.
Bean Cats simultaneously: PLEASE FEED US!
Tank Cat: he's flabbergasted What did I put myself into? he sorrows as he stands there
Lizard Cat: Eggs are ready. he bangs on the pans he cooked with
Everyone else simultaneously: EGGS! they all rush into their seats and begin eating their meals
Cow Cat: Wow, this is the best egg I ever had in existence. And I know a thing or two about eggs. he shoves the egg in his mouth and grins
Titan Cat: Hey, at least we all get fed now. he smirks as he begins eating his egg
Everyone is now satisfied and nourished from the breakfast they had today. They all go outside and begin exercising in order to burn off the calories from their food. Eventually, Bob speaks up about the fight they're about to partake in.
Bob: Wait a second. How the fuck are we going to plan out our mission to take down these enemies? he is doing one handed push ups Sure it'll be piss easy, but it's going to be really messy and complicated at the same time. Does anyone get where I'm coming from?
Gross Cat: Eh, anything can happen here in DEUTSCHLAND! So might as well expect the unexpected. he smirks as he begins to do some push ups alongside Bob
Cat: I'm excited. Just focus on the positive out of all this and we will definitely win. They have a lot more enemies than we ever faced these past four weeks, so we might as well make the most out of everything and hope for the best.
Tank Cat: I want to see all the beer they have! Not to drink, but as a fun experience so we can see how Germans make their stereotypical beverage.
Fish Cat: Hey! I wouldn't mind going for a few shots now... he cackles, showing off his sharp talons
Titan Cat: he whacks him in the back of the head No, you're not going out drinking. You never drank before, so it would do really bad damage to you.
Gross Cat: Actually, he did. A lot of booze went into that gut. Surprised he didn't get a beer belly, or a rum belly! he giggles away at his remark
Titan Cat: he grumbles as he whacks the both of their heads in You actual idiots! YOU because you drank almost an entire bottle of RUM! he pokes Fish Cat And YOU for promoting it and laughing it off like it's shits and giggles! he pokes Gross Cat in the back of the head
Fish Cat: Ow, I can handle my booze just well enough you fucking moron.
Titan Cat: And stop calling it booze, it's really childish for a beverage which is only consumed by adults.
Bird Cat: I agree, it is purelynautical and silly. But I wouldn't ever touch liquor, as I heard smaller people in size tend to have worse alcohol tolerance. Hence why Titan Cat manages so well, and Fish Cat...survived.
Bob: Hey, I wouldn't mind trying some beer sometime. Despite being underage and shit. he sighs as he has to wait 2-5 years before he can legally drink So ass...
Cat: Oh no buddy, you don't want to ruin those 'pecs. Anyways the Beer treasure variants can't be consumed, so all of us will most likely be sober.
Bean Cat R: I want to kick some enemy ass now. he giggles as he and Bean Cat L go inside the Cat Base
Bean Cat L: I want to go out and fight them too! It sounds like a lot of fun.
All of The Battle Act make their way inside of the Cat Base and prepare to make their way outside to take on the enemies on the Battlefield. But of course, as they wait patiently for the perfect moment to strike, they rush out and enter the Battlefield. But they are soon met up with Gamatoto, who has some important news for The Battle Act.
Gamatoto: he wheezes before staring down the Battle Act I have some good news! The German Treasure... he wheezes some more ...is valid for use in order to purchase The Smart Material Wall. And I stole the Cat Food I was in debt to, and I gave you the bricks. So everyone's happy. Sorry for wheezing, I was just running from the backyard all the way to you guys. I have a really shitty metabolism, all the running yet I'm still out of shape.
Gross Cat: WHAT!? My hard earned poker Cat Food, gone. We turned down the bricks! Why did you insist on giving them to us?
Gamatoto: I prefer having Cat Food over some measly bricks. Pleasure doing business with you guys! he runs away TIMMY, TOMMY, FIND MY INHALER, I NEVER WHEEZED THIS MUCH IN MY LIFE!
Bob: He's a bit conked in the head, but you got to love him. he flicks his toothpick as he looks at The German Base in front of them
Standing right ahead of The Battle Act is no other than the enemy base. Which is a stereotypical German base based off of the iconic drink, Beer! It is a beer fermenter entirely made from wood. It has a recreated metal lid, the base appears to look like it's a barrel, and there is beer broth flowing out of the fermenter! It was really accurately made. Seriously, WHO THE HELL MADE THESE AND WHY ARE THEY SO DAMN GOOD!?
Cat: Wow...it's literally beer. How stereotypical are these guys? he giggles as he looks at the base in awe I wonder if there even is any beer inside.
Tank Cat: There probably is! And if the enemies all come out drunk, they'd be way easier to beat. It would almost feel like cheating, and you'll end up pitying the enemies.
Inside the enemy base, Everybody is training under a protocol which Sir Seal and Croco have set up. Despite Croco being no better than your average Meat Shield for the enemies, he sure knows how to show off an iron fist! And no, there is no beer. If you omit the Beer treasure variants that is.
Croco: Yeah! Everybody should be working out. I want to see some push ups! Push yourself up, and pull yourself down. he cackles as he sips on some soda and glares at everyone pridefully
Sir Seal: You heard him. One, two, three, one, two, three. Up and down, up and down. Keep it up and all of us might be able to take down Bob.
Pigge: Can we all at least take a break at some point? I've been sweating all over myself and my tan is starting to wear off. she scoffs as she mops her forehead And it's really cold outside, why are we so hot?
Snache: From all the exercise we're forced to be doing of course. I don't even think I have an appropriate body for push ups. he is using his tail to push himself up It is not easy work.
Hippoe: Why is everyone complaining? I LOVE this feeling of adrenaline pumping through my body. they continue pushing themselves up and down as if they were an inch away from a caffeine overdose
Gory: Hippoe is on to something. Just focus on the positive light of it all. And it will all come flying like a Sunday Breeze. he is doing one arm push ups
Jackie Peng: AY! JACKIE PENG BROKE A RIB, JACKIE PENG BROKE A RIB! he squawks as he rubs his chest in pain
That Guy C: Ugh...so...heavy! he collapses onto the ground
Those Guys A and B were doing push ups ON TOP of each other. From top to bottom, it was, Those Guys A, B, then C. That Guy B was going alright. He was shaking a bit as he was pulling himself up, but he managed. That Guy A had it all simple and easy. Until Those Guys B and C collapsed, causing him to fall and land on Doge, who also trips over.
Doge: Hey! I had a good streak going there. he mumbles as he tries to resume his push up count Now I have to start all over again.
That Guy A: Don't blame me! Ask them two, they're the ones who knocked me over and made me scream like a baby.
Doge: You always screamed like a baby, you idiot. he grumbles as he looks at him At least neither of us are hurt or anything...
Snache: he looks like a complete mess All that water coloring I put on myself completely melted all over me! he look like a mixed ice cream bowl, of white scales, and gray paint all swirled around to make an ugly fiasco I shouldn't have painted myself before this. What a waste of water colors.
Jackie Peng: Somebody call a doctor, somebody call a doctor. Ow... he is on the floor visibly hurt and on the urge of crying, Sir Seal and Croco don't notice
Croco: Hey, uhh, Sir Seal. Dude, J.P. is on the floor! And he does not seem like he is going to last long. Holy shit. he chugs his soda and rushes to him
Sir Seal: Huh? Is he? Sorry, I was looking up how to brew my very own beer online. he licks his lips The true seaside way. I am going to make the coldest lager in existence! he rubs his flippers in anticipation
Jackie Peng: Sir Seal, this was good enough for me to handle, but I broke my rib. Jackie Peng needs professional medical service.
Sir Seal: Just rest until the session is over, Croco, bring him over. He watches Croco struggles to lift Jackie Peng because of the large size difference, but eventually, he manages
That Guy B: Sheesh, is Jackie Peng okay? he stares in horror
Doge: I believe he will be alright. But it's just a thought. he continues counting his push ups ...63...64...65...
Sir Seal: Okay, everyone! I believe it is time for us to strike after the enemies now, lady, Hippo, and gentlemen, FOLLOW ME!
Hippoe: This is what happens when people don't know your gender...you get called a hippo! they grumble as they get up
Jackie Peng: But Jackie Peng just started healing session! he groans as he gets up
Croco: You heard the seal, get your ass moving! he snaps his mouth as he pushes them in a linear sequence
Doge: he mutters under his breath Telling me what I have to do, Icould easily beat you in a fight.he balls his fist as he makes his way outside
All of the enemies spread out and prepare themselves for battle. They all seem excited to take on The Battle Act. Eventually, everyone falls silent as they all stare at each other. Jackie Peng's loud screams frequently breaking the silence. Eventually, Gross Cat speaks up.
Gross Cat: So, what's with him? Did he have contact with someone suffering with E.Coli? he giggles as he looks at everyone
That Guy A: Hah! That is so funny, I love your humor, man.
Gross Cat: Why thank you, I appreciate having a fan-base, as it is really difficult to obtain one. he kicks a stone away from his foot
Pigge: Well, whatever, can we just start fighting now? I got my bloody throat all blotched up from that push up session.
Cow Cat: Holy Catnip from The Cat God himself! Did you guys actually do a push up session?
Meanwhile...up in the clouds of Cat Heaven.The Cat God seems offended that one of his followers used his name in such vain, he mutters under his breathas he looks down.
The Cat God: from the skies Is that idiot really using my name in vain? Maybe I should send him to Cat Hell!
Back down to Earth, Snache is responding to what Cow Cat just said. While also visibly confused from the usage of The Cat God for profane purposes rather than the normal, human God, which everyone loves to use in vain.
Snache: Yeah, why else would we be all completely sweating like crazy?
Cow Cat: Ah I get it, buddy. Wait a second... he looks at him twice Snache?
Suddenly, EVERYONE turns to Snache, they all seem speechless as they see him. HE IS COMPLETELY WHITE! No water colors on him whatsoever. It is the first time ever that he came on the battlefield without his iconic spots painted on him!
Everyone else simultaneously: SNACHE, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU!?
Snache: Oh be quiet, I did have a painting session, until SOMEONE and SOMEONE ELSE decided it was a good idea for me to do push ups until it all melts away and I'm completely bland.
Doge: Why not just paint it again? he stares at Snache like Baa Baa would, blandly and unemotionally
Snache: It takes countless hours to make sure I look as pretty as possible every day. You don't just walk up to a woman and go: he impersonates Doge "Hey there, friend! I see you got splashed with a lot of water and all your makeup came off, I'm so sorry. But why not re-apply it on all over again? Talk to you later, peace out."
Doge: I do not talk like that! he growls as he pokes Snache's forehead with every syllable
Despite Doge's statement. All the other enemies all start talking about how he would talk like that in such a situation. Doge just mumbles as he takes in the embarrassment.
Cat: I'm so sorry. But it's true, you do talk like that sometimes. he giggles as he nudges Doge, his embarrassment worsens
Doge: Aw come on! Not you too... is there anyone who believes I don't talk like that? Huh!?
Bob: I'm just going to say it. But I've only known you for four weeks, so I don't know the ins and outs to your whole personality and shit.
Doge: THANK YOU! See, that wasn't so hard now was it? he grins as he looks Bob up and down with a smile I won't go after you or try and make you go unconscious after that. Consider it as a thank you.
Bob: Heh, I appreciate man, I really do. he flicks his toothpick as he cracks his knuckles Now, who here wants to take me on?
Sir Seal: I will try and take him down, no matter how many failed attempts I will stumble across. I will make it, I will do it, I am great. I HAVE POSITIVE AFFIRMATION!
Titan Cat: I suppose this is a job for someone like me to do, eh Bob? he smirks slyly as he cracks his knuckles
Bob: Estás à vontade. (Be my guest)
The Battle Begins! Titan Cat and Bob both rush right into Sir Seal. Titan Cat makes the first move by sending a blow right into Sir Seal's face, causing his jaw go bleed out and dislocate. Sir Seal responds by sending a bite right into Titan Cat's rib cage, causing a deep bite mark to be present as blood begins to spew out. Bob attempts to counter Sir Seal's attack by kicking himin the side of the head. Causing him to spit out some blood and bruise up from the impact given to him. He turns and glares at Bob angrily.
Sir Seal: You take that back, right now! Before I give you a torturing punishment which you'll remember for the rest of your life. Your choice. he snarls loudly
Titan Cat: Are you really that upset for being hit at the head? Pathetic. he rolls his eyes as he charges at Sir Seal and begins to punch him right in the face, causing his right eye to blacken
Bob: Hey, nice one, Titan Cat, you sure know how to show him hell! he cackles as he approaches Sir Seal slowly
Sir Seal: he groans as he coughs up blood before thinking in his head (Now I know how Jackie Peng felt now...)
Titan Cat: Are you ready for the attack we have in store for you? he smirks as he stares at Sir Seal Because me and Bob do not hold back against enemies like yourself.
Sir Seal: Oh shit. You guys are NOT holding back against me, huh? he stares in fear as his eyes begin to thin
Bob: Foda-se não. (Fuck no) he bashes his fists together and sends a punch to Sir Seal's face, causing him to fall to the ground
Titan Cat: I guess it's only fair that I finish him off. he chuckles I'll leave you to do your own thing Bob.
Sir Seal: You wouldn't do such a thing to me... he grumbles angrily as he tries to get up, but fails
Titan Cat: Oh, I would. he throws a punch right into Titan Cat's face, causing him to fall onto the floor unconscious Yeah, how on Earth do you like that for a punch, dumbass? he kicks his body before walking away casually
Meanwhile, Bean Cats are taking on Croco attempting to bring him down with ease. They bounce right on top of Croco and bang into himwith a lot of force. This causes his abdomen to start bruising up and getting crushed from the impact of being pressed against the ground. Croco attempts to counter their attack by charging right into them and snaps on their ears, causing them to get crushed and start bleeding out.
Bean Cat L: weakly He really knows how to fight with agility.
Bean Cat R: He went under our bean pod, we left a cap and he used it to his advantage.
Croco: Well, blimey! You motherfuckers know damn well how I managed to get you two. All I have to say to that is congratulations. It takes a lot for effort than you think to come up with a valid reason.
Bean Cat R: I'd be flattered with the compliment, but my ears hurt way too much in order to pay attention.
Croco: Well, hearing both of those statements make me feel extra flattered. After all, I am a natural of speed and quick attacking, just like my good friend Gory.
Bean Cat L: But that means we have to take you on instead. You tried to take us on, but you failed to murder us, now it's up to us in order to murder you.
The two begin charging and eventually they leap and bounce right on top of Croco once again, he snaps his back from the impact and feels like he is about to burst from the impact.
Croco: WAH! My legs all feel like they are about to fall off. he blabbers some angry gibberish as he glares at them
Bean Cat R: That is what you get for biting our ears! he pouts as he begins to giggle at him
Bean Cat L: Now, what shall we do to him, dear old friend?
Bean Cat R: Hmm...he takes a moment to REALLY ponder the situation in front of him Why don't the two of us just continue slamming into him until he goes unconscious from the impact?
Croco: Hey! I did not agree to any of this... why the fuck are you two approaching me. he backs away in fear as he coughs up some blood This is not fun, at least, not for me it isn't!
Bean Cat L: Well, that makes it even more fun for us! he giggles at the sight
Croco: Maybe I shouldn't have studied correspondence learning... he sighs in despair
Bean Cats simultaneously: No, you really shouldn't have!
The two of them grin as they both bounce on Croco once more and crush him right into the ground. He spews out a lot of blood from the pressure and goes unconscious from the impact of it all. Bean Cats just look at him happily.
Bean Cat R: Did we really just do that? he stares at Croco on the floor
Bean Cat L: I believe we did, but let's not get too cocky about it, we should be humble, like reasonable adults.
They giggle away as they bounce up and down on their Bean Pod. Over by another part of the battlefield, Hippoe and Pigge are taking on Gross Cat and Cow Cat in an epic Battle. Cow Cat makes the first move by charging right into Hippoe, causing them to go flying right into the Enemy Base. This results in a dent in the wall, however, the enemy base remains totally intact. Pigge rushes towards Gross Cat and slams into his body and causes him to break one of his long legs. As a response to this suffering, he uses the leg next to it and scratches Pigge's back with its paw, causing her to spew out blood and have a deep scratch mark. She glares at him with anger, and Hippoe does the same with Cow Cat.
Pigge: There is no way a little runt like yourself managed to ruin my perfectly good back like that.
Gross Cat: Oh-ho! Believe me, madam, I think I found a way to do such a horrendous act on your petite little physique. he snorts as he begins laughing like hell
Pigge: Stop laughing you imbecile, or I'll make you cry so hard, to the point where you're unable to tell from solid and liquid! Get ready for the bittersweet revenge.
Gross Cat: he nervously backs away Uhh, Cow Cat, do you mind giving me a hand here? I believe I just made Pigge really pissed off at me.
Cow Cat: Oh, I'd love to, but I can't! I'm busy prioritizing against the likes of Hippoe, and they are really angry.
Hippoe: Well, why WOULDN'T I be fuming right now!? they grumble as they rub the temples of their head You bashed me right into a wall! How inhumane is that?
Cow Cat: I believe I did, and I believe I can pull it off again without sweat! he cackles away
Hippoe: Pigge, help me out here! I really need you to snap some sense into this runt.
Pigge: I would love you help you, but I can't help you out! I'm busy prioritizing a brat named GROSS CAT!
Gross Cat: Hey, just so you know, I am not a kid. I am older than a THIRD of The Battle Act. I just tend to act like the man baby whenever I want to.
Pigge: You're not funny... she snarls as she approaches Gross Cat
Cow Cat: OH, NO YOU DON'T, not on my dead body! he rushes at top speed and bashes his head against Pigge, causing her to go down, land head first, bleed out from her crown and remain unconscious from the impact Nobody shows cheek to my man Gross Cat.
Gross Cat: Hey, he cackles that was some impressive stuff there, Cow Cat! Now that the two of us showed Pigge over there who's boss, why don't we go after Hippoe. he smirks as he begins walking slyly
Hippoe: Hah! The two of you are just bluffing, there is no way in hell where the two of you could possibly beat me in a fight. Dream on guys, dream on.
Cow Cat: How about I let Gross Cat finish you off? he chuckles Since I finished off Pigge for him, he's in my debt.
Gross Cat: Hah! he instantly realizes Wait what? Don't leave me all on my own...
Cow Cat: I'm just going to find another enemy to take down, you got this bro! he runs away YEE-HAW!
Gross Cat: Oh for fuck sake! I don't want to have to deal with Hippoe... he mumbles
Hippoe: Yeah, that's right, FEAR me brat, FEAR me! they cackle loudly as they glare at Gross Cat with cocky pride
Gross Cat: Oh go die in a hole already! Gross Cat charges after Hippoe and sends out a huge slap to their face, causing a large scar to be present and for them to go down
Hippoe: they growl Come back here! they charge at full speed after Gross Cat
Hippoe chases after Gross Cat. But before they could do anything about Gross Cat's initial attack, they send out another slap right into the hip. This causes them to go flying across the side and intervene with Jackie Peng and Gory's fight against Bird Cat, Fish Cat, and Lizard Cat. Hippoe instantly goes unconscious as they landed right onto Jackie Peng's rib cage.
Gross Cat: Whoops, my bad there guys! he stammers as he slowly walks away
Jackie Peng: HOORAY! Jackie Peng's ribs feel amazing, they never better. he cackles as he flexes his muscles
Gory: Oh, shut up, you! he smacks him in the face You are definitely an idiot who can't even maintain two pushups.
Lizard Cat: What the hell are they talking about? he just sits there blowing fire embers into the air as he begins to snooze
Fish Cat: I have no idea...but they are really getting into some heat, that's for sure. he smirks as he just stares at their argument worsen ahead
Bird Cat: For your information. Gory and Jackie Peng were performing push ups over at the enemy base for fitness maintenance. However, Jackie Peng felt an unspecified pain in his rib cage, and couldn't even endure two singular push ups before the pain went overboard.
Jackie Peng: It was not the push ups that caused all the pain! I ended up getting a soda can get thrown into me, and the metal opener part ended up piercing Jackie Peng's flesh! he shows the small but deadly scar IT HURTED SO BAD UNTIL HIPPOE SAVED THE DAY! But Hippoe is unconscious so Jackie Peng can't thank them. As for Croco, Jackie Peng will show that bitch NOT TO THROW CANS! But he's also unconscious. I can't do anything. he huffs as he kicks away a stone
Bird Cat: You could tell me all about your experience and why it bothers you. he slowly flies towards Jackie Peng and attempts to comfort him
Jackie Peng: Woah, that is very nice of you, enemy figure. But Jackie Peng will not go through the experience of telling you.
Fish Cat: Uhh...what is there that we can do? Because I don't want to sit around all day and do Jack shit! I want some action. Lizard Cat?
Lizard Cat: Hmm, OKAY! Let's go ahead and nuke them before Bird Cat can begin waffling about his life. he giggles as he approaches Jackie Peng Hey there penguin. he smirks as he wraps his tail around him
Jackie Peng: HELLO THERE LIZARD GUY! Your tail feels really comfortable around me.
Lizard Cat: All I want out of you, is to remain calm, be quiet, and let it all happen. he giggles as begins producing smoke
Fish Cat: YEAH! Let's party... he grins menacingly and prepares to pounce on Gory
Lizard Cat shoots a fire ember right into Jackie Peng's face, causing him to blister all over his peak and his face. He is screaming and running around in pure agony. Meanwhile Gory realizes their intentions and rushes after Lizard Cat and slams him down in revenge, causing him to bruise up, and get his scales damaged. Fish Cat attempts to get vengeance for Lizard Cat and bites deep down into Gory's chest, causing his torso to crush and spew out blood. Bird Cat watches in horror as he doesn't know what to do. But he eventually pounces on Jackie Peng's rib cage, causing it to be in terrible pain again.
Lizard Cat: Hey, Bird Cat, help me out here! I'm going to need all the help I can get if I want to be able to easily take down this penguin.
Jackie Peng: WAH! he puts out he fire on his face and clutches his upper chest My ribs...they hurt! JACKIE PENG DOES NOT LIKE THIS. he growls in anger
Bird Cat: Despite my wishes to understand Jackie Peng's feelings and wellbeing, beating him up is a lot more pleasurable and satisfying! he smiles as he looks at him It is only fair that I finish him off! he swoops down and pounces on Jackie Peng's back, causing the rib cage to move up and expand the scar, causing him to go unconscious from the pain, he remains there, bleeding
Lizard Cat: Wow, Bird Cat, that was...AMAZING! You really kicked him in the ass, huh?
Gory: AGH! he coughs some blood as he glares at Fish Cat, who bit deeply into him You filthy bastard! It's about time I get you for that. he mutters as he charges at him at top speed
Gory slams his fists into Fish Cat and punches him repeatedly, causing his face to bleed out and swell. Fish Cat smirks as he pounces right onto Gory, pins him down, and bites into him, he goes unconscious instantly. His blood spews all over the floor from such violent events.
Fish Cat: Woo-hoo! I bit his ass down to the ground. Hey guys, did you see that? DID YOU SEE THAT!?
Bird Cat: he sighs in annoyance Affirmative, Fish Cat, I witnessed the entire endurance of Gory having blood spew out of his dermis. Your sharp talons aren't just for your gluttonous appetite after all!
Fish Cat: DAMN STR- he realizes that Bird Cat just insulted him Hey! I'm not that gluttonous, you know I went EIGHT WHOLE hours without food, right?
Someplace else on the Battlefield, Axe Cat is fighting off against Doge. The two are happily clashing into one another. Doge bites down deeply into Axe Cat's axe, causing him to have a good grip on the weapon. Axe Cat seems clearly pissed off that someone would do such a thing to his metal colleague. So he slams his axe down onto the ground and causes Doge to follow suit. He bruises up from the impact, and his jaw begins to bleed drastically from the pain.
Axe Cat: Hah! That is what little runts like you deserve for showing disrespect towards Matilda! I try my hardest everyday to maintain her beauty to the public eye. And then you came along and decided to ruin everything with your sodding little canine teeth! he growls as he kicks Doge
Doge: GAH! he coughs some blood onto the floor You actual idiot, you deserve to get murdered for that. he weakly stands up and glares at Axe Cat
Axe Cat: Oh yeah? What are you going to do about it, cry me a river or something? he smirks as he looks at him
Doge: You'll be doing that for yourself, friend. he charges right into Axe Cat and pounces right into him, he bites deeply into his left cheek, causing it to bleed out How do you like THAT for a river? A river of your own blood trickling down your face.
Axe Cat: Heh, I believe that wasn't so bad. But not as good as THIS!
Axe Cat prepares to do an epic attack onto Doge, he leans all the way back, making his axe touch his ankles. He then runs up quickly while preparing to land his axe's hit. But the move was so risky, that he hit a different enemy, he ended up hitting Snache in the head instead!
Snache: Ah! he falls onto the ground, rubbing his bleeding head Who did that to my head? he grumbles as he sees Axe Cat Ugh, do you mind? I'm trying to fight Cat over here. he moves to show Cat
Cat: Oh hey Axe Cat! he waves happily at his arrival Who were you fighting against earlier?
Axe Cat: I...am still...fighting against Doge. But, I want the wrong direction with my attack a- gets interrupted by Cat
Cat: You did your "Lean and Strike" attack move, huh? he giggles as he stares at Axe Cat in disbelief
Axe Cat: Yeah...I did my Lean and Strike. he blushes as he sighs in embarrassment BUT SO WHAT? That was so badass, wasn't it?
Cat: I guess the attack itself was, but your initial intentions, just turn it into a dumbass attack.
Axe Cat: Hey, you know I hate that kind of ass, you jackass!
Cat: Heh, quit being such an ass. Axe Cat! he giggles as he nudges him
Doge: If I hear ass one more time, I am going to kick all of your asses! he pounces on Axe Cat and pins him down
Cat: Oh hey Doge! he smirks at his arrival before attempting to pull him off of Axe Cat
Elsewhere, Tank Cat is being tortured by Those Guys as they all pounce on him and begin attacking him just for the sake of it. He is trying to head butt them away, but is failing miserably.
Tank Cat: Hey! I'm not enjoying this at all, please get off me and I'll be happy to leave you alone.
That Guy B: No, this is a lot more fun! he giggles as he slaps him in the face, causing it to bruise and swell up
That Guy C: You have such a pull-able cheek! I could just squeeze and pull it all day. he proceeds to pull on Tank Cat's cheek, causing his rectangular mouth to become more square like
Tank Cat: his voice is nasally because of his pulled cheek Stop pulling at my cheek.
That Guy A: This is actually a lot more fun than I ever thought it would be! Guys, why don't we do it m- gets interrupted with a grab from Bob
Bob: Who the fuck do you think you are beating the shit out of my friend like that? Little bastard. Hora de morrer! (Time to die!)he grabs his head, crushes it and slams it onto the floor, causing him to go unconscious instantly as he bleeds out
Tank Cat: BOB! You came to save me from Those Guys. Thank you so much... he beams as he embraces him in a hug
Bob: Well, I sort of fucked up Sir Seal, you see. So basically I had nothing else to do other than make my way around here. he flicks his toothpick
Tank Cat: That's okay. Just as long as you wanted to protect me from having my ass handed to me. That's completely fine.
That Guy C: We will avenge our friend! For he died so young and innocent. You will suffer, just like he did.
Bob: Tu tens que estar brincando. (You've got to be kidding me) Alright then, show me your all, pussy!
That Guy B: AFTER HIM!
Those Guys B and C charge after Bob as an attempt to get revenge for That Guy A. They both pounce on him and begin pulling at his face just like they did with Tank Cat. Bob does not take any of it and throws them both onto the ground, making them both go unconscious within seconds! They are bleeding from their foreheads, they have slashes from any rock they have tripped on. And That Guy C even has gotten his right shoulder pierced by a Weißwurst (a German white sausage) that had been lying on the floor for quite a while now.
Tank Cat: Hah, well, that showed them that we mean business! Isn't that right, Bob? he nudges him playfully
Bob: Couldn't say it better myself. Dear friend Tank Cat! he cracks his knuckles as he rushes towards the Enemy Base, and turns to Doge and Snache
Bob: Okay, which one out of you two wants to be thrown into The Enemy Base up ahead?
Snache: Clearly not me... he rubs his head in pain from the impact of the axe
Doge: I don't want to be thrown into the base either! It sounds painful as hell.
Cat: Allow me, Bob!
Cat quickly picks at random, he giggles as he stands, and picks up Snache, but struggles to lift his weight. He throws Snache but he just lands half a foot away from them. Which is about as long as a pencil. Bob sighs as he just stares in embarrassment.
Cat: he pants heavily Why are you so heavy? You're a snake, you shouldn't be heavy!
Snache: Snakes have a lot of density in our skin, we have thick scales so we can easily shed our old skin. Sorry for being too heavy for a measly Cat to lift. he smirks as he lays there
Doge: Wow...Cat chose me not to get flung into the base. he is lost for words, he is genuinely flattered by the move I uhh...that feels good. THANKS CAT!
Axe Cat: Eh, don't get used to it, buddy! he glares at Doge as he shoves his axe in his face
Bob: Here, let me do it.
Bob reached down and smirks as he grabs Snache and tosses him in the air, and he serves him into the enemy base like a volleyball! The base ends up completely collapsing, and all three variants of the Beer treasure come flying out. Bob is leaving to grab them.
Bob: Don't worry, I got this. he carries the all treasure in his hands
Axe Cat: he rushes after Bob YEAH, BOB! You sure showed them who's boss. he cackles away as he follows him to the others
Doge: Holy shit...my head hurts. he rubs his head as he stands up
Cat: Well, I guess it would make sense. You just got you ass beat by Axe Cat earlier, so it did some pretty bad shit for sure. he smirks as he rummages his paw through Doge's head
Doge: Alright. You made a decent point there. he leans on the grass Say, why didn't you just go ahead and choose me to fling into the enemy base?
Cat: I chose by random. You were lucky that I didn't choose you. he nudges Doge playfully
Doge: Are you sure it was random? he grins as he looks at him
Cat: Well...yeah! he chuckles awkwardly But I suppose I should say that...you're chill, and I like you... so I guess it wasn't so random.
Doge: Wait...you think I'm chill? he stares at Cat blankly quite surprised by his words
Cat: he stammers before answering I guess I do... you're a lot better than most of the enemies. I really love fighting against you, don't get me wrong... but I feel like, we'd make decent friends... you know? he sighs as he rests himself
Doge: he just stares at Cat blankly, his face covered with a pinkish red hue R-right! Sorry, I just blanked out there... sorry. he giggles nervously I'll go and grab the rest of the enemies and make our way to our next location! So...I guess I'll see you guys.
Cat: he just watches Doge get up, his face reddening after seeing Doge's reaction O-of course! You go ahead and sort them out Doge, I'll sort out my gang. he stands there for a moment Okay, bye! he rushes away, that was really embarrassing for him to endure
Tank Cat: Oh hey Cat! I was looking everywhere for you. Where were you?
Cat: he fidgets with his paws Oh, I had some business to attend to with Doge. Since he was the one who has to carry the rest of the enemies to the next location!
Bird Cat: At least we have everyone back here! Let's all go inside, it is getting colder and colder every second we're outside. he shivers at the cold weather
All of The Battle Act make their way inside. They are warming up after a long battle against the enemies. Everyone was tending to their injuries and telling stories about what happened to them as they were fighting against the Enemies. Eventually, it got quiet, but Bob breaks the silence.
Bob: Alright, I'll find Gamatoto, and I'll give him the Pizza treasures, the Cruiser treasures, and the Beer treasure variants!
Titan Cat: Oh yeah, where the fuck is that little runt? Is he delivering to anyone else by any chance?
Bean Cat L: SOMEONE'S AT THE DOOR! Shall I open it?
Gross Cat: It doesn't matter which Bean Cat opens the door, but go ahead, open it! he grins as he sees them answer the doorbell
It was Gamatoto! Everyone's favorite delivery man and adventurer! He came by with the large package, it was the Smart Material Wall. He happily lent it down to The BattleAct as he made his way inside.
Gamatoto: Hello there. I have your little S.M.W. right here! Go ahead and take it.
Titan Cat: Ah thanks again, Gamatoto. he yells out BOB! Give him the God damn treasure already.
Bob: Yeah, I'm coming! I was just about to ask Cat where we were going. he hands all nine pieces of treasure (three for each location) to Gamatoto, who gives them all the Smart Material Wall Also, never call it an S.M.W., it sounds way to much like a fucking car brand!
Gamatoto: That, I will do. It's not like I have anything better to do or anything, other than have a beer party with my twin brother...
Fish Cat: BEER PARTY!? he eagerly rushes to Gamatoto, before being stopped by practically everyone else
Gamatoto: Yeah, thanks again for using my service! I'll get going now...TIMMY, TOMMY, HELP ME WITH THIS TREASURE AND I'LL PROMOTE ON OF YOU TO INTERN!the two Rookies come along and help out Gamatoto with the treasures, he eventually drives off
Bob: Well, that was weird. Now, I was going to ask y- gets interrupted by Cat
Cat: Ask me where are we going, who are the enemies, and what's the treasure? Yeah. he flicks through his Log Book We will be heading north to Denmark! To obtain the final treasure required for the Super Register, the Folktales treasure variants. And we will be facing against; Doge, Snache, Those Guys, Croco, and a new enemy, who's also a boss! And we're meeting up with The Special Forces as we all are meeting up with an unknown Cat! So, a lot is happening when we go to Denmark! Get some shuteye, Roberto Mourinho Jablovskyy, you'll need it. he winks at Bob as he pats his knee
Bob: Oh hell yes, another boss fight. E vamos nos encontrar com aquele crocodilo! (And we're meeting up with that crocodile!)
Titan Cat: Okay, everyone, listen up! Everyone make their way to bed and sleep for as long as possible, we need a lot of energy for our journey to Denmark. Good night everyone.
Everyone begins to make their way to bed. Satisfied with the results of their attack. They all have a positive mindset now that they're making their way to bed. They are going to meet up with a new Cat, and a new Enemy. So everyone needs to be ready for when that time comes. It has been quite a journey for sure, especially considering what the Cats and Bob have endured on the battlefield. All we can do is hope for the best and guarantee that they have a good time tomorrow. And obtain everything they need to get the Super Register!
TO BE CONTINUED
Okay, I have officially been writing The Battle Cats: X, for four consecutive weeks! I am really proud of myself for how this episode turned out. Especially with all the wacky character dialogue I added in. But of course nothing is perfect, especially considering all of the interesting stuff that happened in this episode. But the next edition is going to be very special, as we get to see an...interesting turn of events with the characters found in Denmark. Players of the game know exactly what I'm talking about. Ahah!
Stay tuned for the next edition of TBCX coming very soon, to a Fan Fiction app/website near you!
The Battle Cats (2014) and its respective characters and features are all owned by Ponos Corporation.
The character Bob is owned by me, however, feel free to use them, just as long as you credit me as the owner, and not make a profit.
This fiction is 100% unofficial and can be considered as fan made.