Author's Note: This story is a multi-chapter fic set mostly during season 3 of The Original Series and will occasionally make references to certain episodes. I've never seen Strange New Worlds and it has no bearing on this story. This story is already written in its entirety so the speed of updates is mostly dependent on the feedback I get, so if you are enjoying this story please let me know!

He had really started noticing her near the end of their first year aboard the Enterprise together. Christine was his most valuable asset in sickbay, he trusted her medical judgement before anyone but his own and she wasn't afraid to tell him if she disagreed with something. She never put up with any crap from him or anyone else but she was also incredibly kind, caring, and as he had become increasingly aware of, very beautiful.

As soon as he had begun to realize his feelings they had quickly taken over and he couldn't stop thinking about her. But with these feelings also came those of jealousy as it seemed that Christine was hopelessly pining after Spock. Kind, caring, beautiful Christine chasing after logical, unemotional Spock.

During their second year aboard the ship the jealousy had practically killed him. Watching her bring the man homemade soup, seeing her eyes light up when Spock walked in the room, seeing the panic in her face every time something happened to him on a mission. Then there was the mission where Spock's consciousness was in her body. She had seemed so pleased, stating proudly that they had shared a consciousness. All the while Spock continued to show absolutely no interest in her. He distinctly remembered wrestling out his frustration and anger in the gym for the rest of the evening after that happened. By the end of their second year he was completely in love with her but he didn't dare tell her. It was like she couldn't even see him. Not as a man, only as her boss and friend.

It probably would have stayed that way too if it hadn't been for his dumbass wandering into sickbay one night while she worked beta shift. He stumbled in, drunk as a skunk, having drowned his sorrows in whiskey, and plopped down into his desk chair, his elbows on the desk and his head in his hands.

Christine, the only other person in sickbay at that time of night, heard him enter and found him like that in his office. He didn't look up when she approached but she could smell the alcohol from where she stood.

"Doctor, are you alright?" She asked, concerned.

McCoy slowly lifted his head to look at her and she could see pain in his expression as his eyes met hers. He just shook his head and looked away from her.

"Doctor McCoy, perhaps you should lie down, I could give you some fluids if…." Her words were cut off when his head snapped back to look at her.

"It's not my body that is hurting, Christine." He said with a rough voice.

Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "I don't understand." She said.

There was a pause before he spoke again. "How do you deal with the pain?" He asked.

"What pain?" She asked, still not understanding what he was talking about.

"The pain of loving someone who doesn't even know you exist." He said just quiet enough for her to hear him.

She didn't know how to take that. Was he making fun of her? It wouldn't be the first time he had made comments about her unrequited feelings for Spock. But the whole attitude was wrong. He looked devastated, but he was also obviously drunk. Was he legitimately asking? Was he in love with someone who didn't notice him?

She stared at him a moment, trying to decide how to respond when he stood up and walked over to her, taking her hand in his.

"I don't know how to deal with it anymore, Christine." He gently ran his thumb over her fingers. "I don't know how much more I can take before I knock his teeth in." His eyes met hers and she saw the intensity there. "He doesn't even have the emotional capacity to treat you the way you ought to be treated by a man. Loved by a man. You deserve someone who can give you that."

McCoy stopped talking but she felt the unspoken words hanging in the air between them. Someone like me.

She was speechless as he let go of her hand and silently walked out of sickbay, back to his quarters where he promptly crashed onto his bed and fell asleep.

Christine, however, was very sober and very awake and felt as though she had just had the wind knocked out of her.