As the two Aurors followed the Gryffindors out of the Dungeons, Bones waves her subordant closer. What she didn't know, all four had sharper hearing and heard their whispering.
"I have a problem and I am throwing you under the train on this. Starting Monday, Minivera willing, you will be the sudsitute for DADA. The werewolf offered to fill in, but as he's not an employee of the School and the Board will have to Recognise him to hold the post…" they turned onto the Ground Floor. "You can ask him for assistance with the Class assignments… but you have to be the Professor yourself."
As they broke away from the wizards, and headed towards the Headmistress Office, the four Gryffindors looked back before returning to the climb to the Gryffindor Tower. The two Slytherin witches waited at the floor of the DADA classroom.
At the portrait of the 'Fat Lady,' who Hermione had once compared to the Tele Comedian, Dawn French, Harry kissed her Brow, and pressed his forehead to hers. "Good night my Pussy."
"Don't call me Pussy!" She swatted him. But she was purring.
He laughed as he returned to his Dorm, the two Wizards on his heels.
APLB
As they climbed the stairs, they failed to notice that they were overhead by the four Gryffindors. Being Hufflepuff, they didn't fear much when traveling in groups. They just didn't know what dangers lurked in the School Halls these days.
At the Gargoyle, they requested to speak to Minerva. They were let up.
Bones explained her plan to place Tonks as her spy and the new DADA until Moody was back on his foot. If everything went well, it was possible that Tonks would be Moody's assistant as well. Yes she said spy… and if Minerva didn't agree, she would take the matter to the School Board.
"Ah, Missy. You are a Hufflepuff, correct? Always could tell one of my students the minute they entered the Great Hall, I could." A Hufflepuff Headmistress piped up from Above. "Hogwarts has always been an Entity onto Herself. The Founders wrote it in ink, blood, and Stone. The School Board was a push to curb the Headmaster's impulses and to select the next one."
"Yes." Phineas Nigellus Black smirked from above. "But Our Headmistress was Chosen not by your Board, but by US!" He pounded his chair arm. "And until we choose otherwise, she holds the position until Death!"
McGonagall set three glasses on her desk and filled them from a brown bottle from her shawl. "I accept. Tonks is your spy and my DADA assistant. She will also serve as Hogwarts liaison officer who reports to Potter."
"Deal." Tonks took her glass and swallowed a mouthful of the clear liquid. Cough. "Just like Granny used to make." Her voice was harsh.
Minerva hummed. "Yes… Irma Black… Bitch could brew anything that required distilling. She was my Potions Tutor. She burned through more cauldrons than seven years of Firsties, can't brew anything myself but my OWLs examiner gave me an Acceptable with the caveat that I never brewed without distilling first."
Bones nodded. "My first field assignment involved her Still and the muggle kids finding it." She sipped her glass. "Going Home. I will have Tully return your glass in the morning." She vanished into the Floo with a wobble.
"Where do you want me?" Tonks blinked at the Headmistress.
"The Room between Moody and Potter."
Tonks nodded. "Until morning, professor. Dobby, can I get a hand please." She turned towards the door. "I need to get to the room between Harry's and Moody's. Without falling or spilling my drink." She vanished between one step and the next.
APLB
As the four Wizards returned to the third floor, Black was panting… as a human. "I knew there was a reason I was not interested in returning to Hogwarts. Great School… Talented staff… murderous Stairs."
"They are a defensive mechanism." Harry stroked the bannister like you would a beloved pet. "Invaders charging up the stairs would be sent into hallways and choke points and the like where the defenders are waiting. She was a marvel in her time. And like a fine wine and cheese, she has only improved with time and mana. If she is ever let off the leash… She will protect her Students."
"You know a lot about…" Hesta smirked at him.
"Hogwarts, A History." Harry smiled at the witch. "Hermione's favourite book." he frowned. "You need to find a self-updating early edition. The one sold at Flourish and Blotts has been edited to both keep it small and to conceal certain things from the public." He smiled at the girls. "Let's show you ladies where we are calling home. Tonight you can use my room… the Elves have a way of doing things with the Castle."
"And where are you going to sleep?" They chorused.
"Dobby makes up a great couch." Harry smiled at them.
APLB
The next morning, Saturday, Harry was shaken awake by an female Elf, who was pulling her ear with her left hand. "Lord Potts… you are needed. Goblins attack the front gate."
Harry rolled out of the couch. "Dobby, my Robes." The two elves quickly had him dressed, and out the door.
As he strolled up to the gate, Hagrid was laughing at a joke one of the knife wearing Goblins had told him. "Barchoke." Harry called out as he strolled up. "I was thinking that you were coming yesterday."
"Yes… but Mister Weasley needed another day in the infirmary." The shaven headed goblin sneered.
"Oh no… Should we tell his Mother? She worries you know." Harry grinned at the redhead wizard in formation.
"Potter!" The Ginger snarled, "I know where you sleep and I trained the Twins."
"I no longer sleep there, and I am under the protection of Padfoot and Moony." Harry hooked his thumbs into his belt. "But your co-workers are going to be asking if they should call Mum Weasley every time you sneeze, snuffle, or get a splinter. Until you retire." He turned to Hagrid. "Let them in, they are here on House Business."
A slicked back Goblin in tweed grumbled under his breath, but joined the column as they marched to the front door of the Castle.
At the front door, a red eyed McGonagall, a sparkly eyed Flitwick, and Feline Hermione Granger awaited the mix of wizards and Goblins.
"Really Harry." Hermione huffed, her ears giving lie to her expiration. "You and only you would lead an invasion of Goblins to Hogwarts. The first in a thousand years."
"Mister Potter…" McGonagall started.
"Sorry Headmistress." Harry bowed his head. "Two Account Managers, a rendering team, and a Ward Breaker team. The two teams are going to the Chamber of Secrets… the Account Managers are going to see Black… when we are done with the chamber. I would invite you… but…" he trailed off.
"Flitwick. You oversee this." McGonagall turned and tottered off.
"Okay first thing first, Barchoke, Ashraq, the slime and gunk will ruin your suits. Are you sure you want to come down?"
"Want to… yes." Barchoke sighed. "But we won't, trusting to the teams we have assembled."
Ashraq just sneered.
"In that case, Hermione. You are invited to escort them to my Dorm. Then escort my Witches to breakfast. It is a good time to organize rank and position. Besides, you have research to do."
"What is this Female's position for you." Barchoke sneered at the witch.
"Head Scribe and Archivist." Harry grinned at her. "Anything else will be decided without my direct presence as she wrestles for dominance amongst her fellow witches."
"You're letting them decide your fate?" Ashraq hissed.
"Yes. Old Human proverb. 'Happy Wife, Happy Life.' And there are five Witches in play with more in the wings." Harry adjusted his cuffs. "Happy Wives, Happy Harry. Besides, the only reason to sit in on the discussion is to watch them rip their robes off and… if they have not invited me to play with them, it's kind of pointless."
The Ginger wizard snorted. "Not completely pointless."
"That's what makes it pointless." Harry turned to the now blushing witch. "Please escort Barchoke, Manager of House Potter Business, and Ashraq, Manager of House Black Business, to the sitting room. I am going to be busy this morning, but feel free to gather the others for planning the next step in our…" he kissed her Brow. "Good morning, beautiful." And led the two teams of goblins and wizards in and up to Myrtle's loo.
As the twin columns, in lock step, turned into the girl's loo and marched through the surprised ghost.
"Good morning Myrtle." Harry smiled at the young witch floating in the doorway. "I am taking these gents downstairs. As my watchdog, I must beg your pardon for our intrusion and invite you below."
"Oh!" The mopy ghost brightened up. "Hi Harry. Have you come to share my loo?"
"No Myrtle." Harry smiled at the ghost. "I am not dead yet. And when I do reach that state… I will be more inclined to haunt the Quidditch Pitch… but I would be pleased to spend the nights patrolling the Halls… and inspecting the broom closets with you."
The ghost 'blushed' a deep gray, and dove into her toilet with a squeal of glee.
"Damn Potter!" William Weasley smiled, "Is there not a Witch in the castle under your spell?"
"Professor McGonagall."
The Ginger Wizard snorted.
Flitwick snickered.
Harry focused on the spigot and hissed the password, the sound of grinding stone heralded the movement of the sinks. "A word of warning. It's a deep fall, slime covered pipe slide, and a bone pit at the end."
Weasley drew his wand, cast a spell over everyone and stepped off the edge. The Goblin in charge of the curse team, peered over the lip. After a quick two minutes, he stood up and laughed. "Last one down shovels dragon shit!"
Everyone but Harry rushed to the edge and jumped. Harry blinked, "Well, I'm not shoveling Dragon Shit." He stepped into the abyss.
The sinks grumbled as they dragged themselves back across the stone floor.
APLB
Harry rode the shute to the chamber of bones, coming to his feet smoothly with the assistance of his velocity from the fall.
As he stepped over the lip of the shute, onto the bones littering the floor. He guided the troops to the rockfall. Using his Holly, began to multi-target the rocks of the slide and fused them into a stone gate with a simple sliding stone 'bar latch' lock.
The leader of Curse Breaker, a goblin only months short of retirement, inspected the work. "While I have seen better… The Wizards were masters of their craft. You have the gate and frame fused into the ceiling and floor, you have altered the stone grain so that it is stronger than just twisted stone." He patted the Lad's hip as he passed. "Weasley! Teach him how to lock the change in!"
For ten minutes, Bil taught Harry the spell to lock non living transmutation. While the two humans were having a lesson, the Rendering Team was clearing and rolling up the shed skin. The rest of the curse breaking team was inspecting the walls and floor of the room. Flitwick was bouncing around, his wand acting as an electric torch.
Seeing the Goblins hooting over the shed skin, Harry loomed over the one giving orders. "I do believe that counts as the Hide of the beast."
"And you just leave it here to rot?" The Goblin looked scandalized.
"A twelve year old boy, who was raised muggle, and carrying a Firsty witch, and a mind wiped idiot out of here… how am I supposed to carry it?"
The chief's right-hand goblin sneered as he stepped around his supervisor. "As it was not part of the original deal…"
"Okay." Harry nodded as he looked over the Goblin's heads at the skin being rolled up tight. "Because I need to send the other hide through the Tanner's Guild…"
"This has to go through them as well, but this is better for coating Dragonhide rather than just cutting into the items you want."
"So… this cured and stretched over a black trench coat of dragonhide would be just as good as a trench coat of Basilisk hide?"
"Lighter, cheaper to make and not green." the goblin sneered at his robes. "Like that seems to be your problem."
"The Sarcasm is strong in you." Harry smiled at the adjunct. "You will go far in Wizard Relations.
"I should gut you where you stand, for the curse you just condemned me to." the Goblin sneered.
Harry hummed. "Is there enough for four adult sized trench coats on just half of the shed skin? I would like to get coats made for me, my shield brother and two witches. The other three will prefer the green and will have them runed to be lighter."
The younger goblin looked at the Chief. The Chief nodded. "Just."
"Including the cost of the Dragonhide Coats." Harry glared at the Goblin.
"Depends on the Dragon." The Goblin sneered back. "It will take at least one month for the shed skin to be ready."
"And for the other?"
"Depends on the condition of the carcass." The Chief grumbled, "But you are looking at a wait of three months for the hide to cure and another for two for the leather work. Longer if you want rune inscription."
"Four Coats, able to fit two adult witches and wizards. We will need them sized for our… growth. I will need them to be ready by Christmas. I will introduce you to the recipients for you to take measurements. At least two of them are not finished growing let alone filling out. Please take it into account and keep it mum."
The Chief coughed and nodded.
Harry and the Goblin shook hands.
The Leader of the Curse Breaker team cleared his throat, "Now that you are finished… have you explored the tunnels?"
"No. I was hurrying to find the missing witch…" Harry looked at Weasley. "Ginny was in danger and every second brought her that much closer to not coming back."
"What?" The tall wizard suddenly had Harry by the front of his robes. "When was this?"
"Just before they went to visit you for the Summer." Harry frowned at the Heir of the Weasley Clan. "Surely the twins would have told you about the…" his face turned into a sneer. "Dumbledore. And I am willing to bet that Ginny never made it to the Mind Healers, because your mum thought that Dumbledore knew enough to advise on the mental health of an eleven year old girl who had spent the last year with an Evil and Dark wizard in her head!"
"Who…" William released the lad.
"Tom Riddle." Harry scowled. "You know him as Lord Voldemort."
"She had "You know Who' in her head and the bearded camel fucker thought that she would be Okay?" Will flushed in his Rage, his ears not only burned red, they elongated into points. "And Mum…"
"Easy Bill." Harry patted his arm. "You can get the details from the twins and Ginny tonight. A private room for dinner is arrangeable. And if you need to spend the night, let me know."
"And the tunnels?"
"I followed the footprints in the dust." Harry drew Holly and silently cast the light charm and focused on the electric torch mode. He highlighted the fading footprints in the grime.
As he stepped into the main tunnel, the snake pillars holding braziers ignited in and lit the way in a green flame.
With his wand in hand, he led them to the silver round door.
The Chief Ward Breaker hissed. The whole team rushed to the sealed portal and began to hoot and growl.
Harry looked first to Bill for understanding.
"They're using deep speech." Bill shook his head. "All I'm getting is 'lost treasure' and 'Bethmoora'."
"Lost Treasure, The Unbreakable Vault Door. Crafted by the Heir of the King of the Bethmoora Goblins." Flitwick licked his lips. "They would give you half the gold under Gringotts for that." He snorted, "And only because they don't own the rest, it won't be more."
"No can do, it's a Slytherin House Heirloom." Harry put Holly away. "That said, I am open to allowing limited access for the Craft Masters of the Nations to inspect it and anything else inside."
"Its a Goblin Treasure!" the Chief of the Ward Breaker team hissed.
"And what would the Nation do with it?" Harry looked at the elder.
"It would be put away…"
"And would your Masters of Craft be able to inspect it, study it, even try to copy it?"
"Of course not."
"And yet here, I am offering to the Masters of, not just Gringotts, but all Nations of Goblins, a chance, once a month, to come to inspect, study, and test the door." He turned away from the Goblins. "Weasley, check your anus!"
$Unlock. Open.$
A clicking filled the Foyer. Then one snake moved…and another…and another. It took three minutes as the door unlocked, unseal, and opened, swinging wide on expertly hung and counterbalanced hinges.
The Chief looked at the inside of the door. "Okay. We would damage it if we tried to take it." All of the Goblins were busy inspecting the inside of the Door. Flitwick included.
"Sweet Shit On Me!" William Weasley expelled his exclamation.
Every Goblin spun to see what scared the Wizard… and froze.
The Giant Snake was just as life-like as it was when Harry first saw it. Only the moist eye sockets gave lie to the thought it was laying in wait.
"The eyes are ruined." The Adjunct lawmented.
"It looks ready to strike and kill everyone here, and you are crying over its eyes!" William Weasley yelled.
"But you need the jelly from the eyes to make Granny Oggs special brew!" The Adjunct cried.
Flitwick snapped around. "That's the drink where you drink it and go blind for a week?" He drew his wand and scrambled up the side of the snake. Hanging from the brow ridge, he began to reverse the damage to the eyes.
"While he does that, can you tell us how you killed it?" The Chief asked
"Her." Harry petted the nose of the beast. "When she rose up to bite me from above, I just thrust my sword straight up…" He patted the sword on his hip, "As She was already blind by this time she didn't see the danger… or just wanted to end it. The blade was driven into her brain."
"And you survived." The Chief nodded.
"No… not completely." Harry rolled up his right sleeve to expose the scar from the fang. "She got me, just as I got her." He pulled the sleeve down. "I would have died minutes later had not the Phoenix cried into my wounds."
The Rendering team nodded… except for the Adjunct.
"Did you say She… as in a female?"
"Yes." Harry frowned at the Goblin.
"And how old is she?"
"We believe that she was Salazar's Familiar." Harry petted her nose again. "That would make her about a thousand years old, give or take a couple of decades."
"And has she laid any eggs?"
"No idea. If she did… they would be in the Nest." Harry walked around the body and stood before the giant face. "$Great Slytherin, Speak to me!$
The mouth opened and the tongue extended out and touched the floor in front of Harry. He turned to the Goblin. "After you?"
Three Ward Breakers and Weasley headed in as the Adjunct followed closely behind.
Harry turned back to the Goblins poking the dead snake.
"Chief … the meat is as tender as we could have hoped for. Another month and the flesh would begin to rot."
"How could she still be …"
"Between her poisonous origins and magic infusion… rot and decay are held at bay. When the scale tips… everything goes to shit quickly. By March she would be nothing but bones and sludge." The Chief explained.
Harry Potter nodded. "I do believe that the skeleton is mine. With the teeth pulled and replaced with transfigured dragon's teeth… I could be talked around to storing it… whole ... in the tunnels…like over the mine cart track."
"Why would we do that… it would make the Wizards shit themselves… I see." He turned to look at the Wizard at his side. "You got a mean streak."
"Those who have Vaults that are that deep ether deserve to shit themselves, see their Account Managers, or have their Elves do their banking." Harry hooked his thumbs in the belt around his waist. "Yes, I know. Now I get to show it."
Flitwick joined them. "Give it a couple of hours, and the eyes should be as good as new. Nice idea with the bones."
"I understand the basics of the process. How are you going to start the job?" Harry rocked on his heels.
"Now that the eye damage has been reversed, first we need to roll her on her side. But we are not used to dealing with a body this size… and her hide is magic repellent…"
Holly jumped into Harry's hand, and he found himself thrusting her forward and slowly rotating to the left.
A Goblin's squeal was the only warning as the body began to roll to Port. As the snake came to a stop, having turned to the almost perfectly Ninety degree point, the Rendering team were quick to inspect the belly of the snake.
Harry was on his knees, panting and holding his head. Holly was smoking.
Flitwick put his hand on Harry's shoulder. "What did you do?"
"My Wand. Holly. She is trying to prove that she is the best Wand for me. Between Blackthorn and the Deathstick…"
"The What Stick!"