Wow, they were seriously not joking about how much more work college gives than high school. Sorry, everyone, I've barely had time to write. Hopefully, I settle in quickly.

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THE DEAD FLAG BLUES

I flipped back in my sketchbook to my drawing of Huitzilopochtli. It was one of the more recognizable sun deities of ancient times. The Aztecs, primarily the Mexica tribe, viewed it as more of a force of nature rather than existing in a good-bad binary. Was my sun the same as the Aztecs? Probably not; it spoke to the tribe through hummingbirds, priests, and a wandering voice at night. My sun didn't speak yet.

"Huitzilo…"

The image I was starting to form was one of a sun that different civilizations interpreted differently over time. In modern psychology, I would most likely be labeled as a paranoid schizophrenic. The Aztecs would have thought differently, though. Our science is constantly moving, and always changing. Who's to say what's crazy and what's not?

"Pochtli…"

This didn't really help me in my predicament, however. I've only begun to understand its form, but its motivations still remain a complete mystery. What did it want from me? Was it all some sort of grand game? A labyrinth of sorts?

"What are you telling me…" I muttered.

"Excuse me, what are you doing over there?"

I looked up and was met with a cold gaze from Yukinoshita. I paused. Should I tell her? She probably wouldn't get it, and it would undoubtedly be of no help to me.

"Are you kidding me? No! She already thinks we're crazy, so don't give her more ammo!" "I'd have to agree; let's keep it under wraps for now; we can't trust her yet."

"Nothing." I set my pen down. "Just some philosophical stuff; you wouldn't be interested."

"Well, do you mind not muttering while doing it? It's creepy and off-putting."

"Sorry, not really under my control."

"When's the last time you spoke to a woman, Hikigaya-kun?"

"Who is this lady?! Talking to us like some kind of hermit living under a rock, her personality certainly isn't getting her any conversations either!"

"With my sister this morning and my mother last weekend."

"Outside of your family, I mean," Yukinoshtia smirked.

I put my hands up dramatically. "You got me there, officer; I don't remember the last time that happened."

"Okay, that's a total lie; remember when that girl audibly said 'gross' after we talked to her about the weather? But I'll let it slide this one time."

I winced and looked around the room again. It really was barren in here. Were we the only two members? "Sorry if I seem cold; I don't really know you or what the deal is around here."

"How do you mean?"

"Well, Hiratsuka-sensei sort of just threatened me and then dropped me off here. What's the situation? What do we do around here?"

"How about we play a little guessing game." Yukinoshita tilted her head and gave a quaint smile.

"A game? We're good at those; this whole 'reality' situation is probably a game."

"Sure, why not? What are the rules? How many guesses do I get?"

"I'll give you one."

Pretty stingy, but I feel confident enough to get something from that. My eyes bounced around the room. There really was nothing in here. I looked at her book and the stack of art supplies—something to do with the arts and humanities then.

"This woman seems like an academic type, certainly her attitude. There's not much to go off here, but how about we take a stab with 'Literature Club,'"

I set my eyes back on her. "The Literature Club?"

"And what makes you say that?"

"There's not a lot in here besides some chairs and a desk to sit around. You're reading a book, plus you seem like someone in the humanities."

"Wrong." Yukinoshita preened.

"Hmm," I mumbled. "Give me another try."

"I suppose I could allow that." she sniffled.

She had a weirdly twisted maternalistic attitude, like a mean mom or piano teacher. Something along those lines. But I was stuck; I really couldn't imagine what it would be. "Alright, I give up; what is it?"

Yukinoshita laughed pompously and stood up, walking to me. "Those with compassionate hearts who give to those who lack one, some may call it volunteer work. Fundamentally, we offer a helping hand to those who need it, the lost and unguided, the poor and confused. This is the task of our club. Worry not, for you will be saved."

"Woah. That psychological stuff might be deeper than I thought. She sounds like a British prime minister talking to starving children in Bangladesh."

"Hiratsuka-sensei has given me instructions to rehabilitate you. I will fulfill this responsibility. Show some gratitude."

"..."

"HAHAHAHA! ARE YOU SERIOUS? LISTEN TO THIS CHICK!"

"Jeez, what a mess."

"Hehehe, she has no idea."

I let out a chuckle and turned back to my book. "Nice one, you can't help me, though. I appreciate the politicking, seriously. Your dad taught you well."

She glared at me. "And why is that? Hiratsuka-sensei sai–"

I waved my hand at her. "She has no idea what's wrong with me. No one does. I don't even know. But if you have somehow figured it out in 7 minutes, please enlighten me, my queen?" A heavy glare rested on her face. She clearly was not someone who got a lot of pushback frequently. I drew swirls on the background of Huitzilopochtli; what can you tell me? Tell me something.

"You have a bad attitude, your posture is poor, you talk to yourself, and you're creepy."

"I already know all that, but that's not my 'problem' as you say. Those are just behaviors stemming from something. And I don't want to hear any criticism from you; you're a weirdo, too."

"How so?"

"Most people run away screaming from me, and you haven't. Also, that personality of yours is terrible."

Yukinoshita paused for a moment. "Hmm. Based on my observations, it seems your loneliness and temperamental attitude are a result of your deranged mind and warped social view. Your eyes don't help either."

"Jeez, we're really getting ragged on today."

"I get it I'm ugly…" I mumbled. I returned to my sun; maybe this whole thing was some sort of sick game for its amusement. The question was, how do I circumvent a being as great as the sun? What avenue of escape could I create?

"A person like you must be reformed to function in society properly. Such anti-social personalities lead only to hikikomoris. And those fish eyes are making your situation worse."

"My god, enough with the eyes, woman, I get it, I promise you."

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, as they say, I suppose I could drop the subject." Yukinoshita paused for another second. "Well, that concludes my conversation simulation."

"Huh?" I said, looking up.

"If you can talk to a girl as beautiful as myself, then you should have no problem integrating better into society." An angelic smile gleamed on her face. "Have I rectified you any now?"

"Good lord, this woman is INSUFFRIABLE."

"Yeah, great, thanks, anything else? I'm trying to think over here."

"Ugh, your ego." Yukinoshita spit in annoyance.

"Not my problem I'm smarter than you." I switched back to my star, drawing in the outlines of a wretched face.

"All it looks like to me is you scribbling a bunch of colors like a 3rd grader."

"Oh, my apologies, princess. Do you request an explanation?" I taunted. "Your jester would be more than honored to enlighten you on this subject."

"Bastard…"

"Yeah, whatever. Can you shut up now It's hard to think like this."

"Yukinoshita, I'm coming in." Hiratsuka-sensei threw the door open and sauntered in.

"I told you to knock…" Yukinoshtia responded dryly.

"Yeah, yeah, sorry." Hiratsuka-sensei waved her hand. "Anyway, sounds like you're having a hard time with Hikigaya-kun."

I couldn't get my mind off the sun even while I was sketching. How do you beat a god? Outsmart a diety? This seemed like a David and Goliath situation, except David was an infant, and Goliath was an eldritch monster.

"It's because he isn't aware that he has a problem," Yukinoshita complained.

"Come on, Yukinoshita, really?" Hiratsuka-sensei retorted.

"What was their plan going into this? They have no idea how far gone we are. Talking to some hot mean girl isn't going to make us skip around school with a propeller hat and an ice cream cone." I scratched my ear and felt a hot, sharp pain in my left eye, like a nail being driven into butter.

"Look at him; he's not even paying attention," Yukinoshita whined.

"Yes, I am," I said, looking up. "Listen, Hiratsuka-sensei, I appreciate the thought, I really do. But this isn't a rom-com; I won't be all jolly and patched up sitting in a room getting lectured."

"And why's that?" She responded.

"You have a team of doctors and morphine on standby?" I slimly grinned. "I thought so."

"You won't be able to do anything like this." Yukinoshtia snipped. "You're strange and annoying; how do you expect to live?"

"I don't know, I don't really care." I shrugged.

"God, don't talk like that, Hikigaya," Hiratsuka-sensei complained. "Maybe that suicide note joke was too on the nose…"

"Don't stress too much about it when I do it; it won't be too messy," I said, pantomiming a noose wringing my neck out before giggling.

"You intend to take your life?" Yukinoshita frowned at me.

"Yeah, probably sooner rather than later. Going out of old age with Alzheimer's doesn't really do it for me. Might as well choose when I go."

"Shut up, Hikigaya." Hiratsuka slapped me on the back of my head "No one's dying."

I turned back to my book and finished the outline for the face. "Sure, if that helps you feel any better. Seriously though, this isn't going to help me out."

"Say whatever you want, Hikigaya, you're staying in the club."

I looked up at her and frowned. "I'll admit, probably not in our best interest to test her."

I looked to the window, my eyes locking with the sun's beedy ones.

"Whatever you say, sensei, whatever you say."

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