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Warning for abuse
…
About a month passed since the funeral and John had still yet to wake up.
Lexi and Beth were taking turns visiting him at the hospital, while the others continued on at the ranch as normally as possible. Today was Lexi's turn at the hospital and, as she sat in his room reading his chart, she saw there was no change. She looked up at a knock on the door frame. Her boss was there with another file folder; it was hers.
"Hooper says you're fully healed," he said of her visit with the OBGYN earlier. "All your other stitches have been removed, you're good to resume regular activity."
She knew what he meant, like exercise or lifting stuff around the ranch. But then….
"Can't get back on the horse if it doesn't want ridden," she said, the statement coming out of her mouth before she realized it. She noticed him looking at her dad then back at her. "My sister has said far worse with him awake," she informed him.
"Maybe you and the horse need to get away from the ranch," he suggested and she looked at him with a mixture of confusion and like he was crazy. Where were they going to go?
"Just for a night," he clarified, handing her a thick envelope. Inside was an invitation to the hospital's benefit at one of the hotels downtown for that upcoming weekend.
"The benefit?" She complained. She didn't even want to go to this thing, let alone drag Ryan to it.
"You know as well as I do this hospital has struggled to keep up with the growth of this area," he reminded her. "We need this event."
"Have it without me," she said.
"You're my best doctor," he reminded her. "And your family founded this area."
"Great, I'm like a prize cow at the fair," she grumbled, gathering her bag as she prepared to leave.
"Think about it," Keith encouraged her as he left her dad's room.
…
Lexi got back to the ranch about the time that work was finishing up for the day. She went to the house, but heard Tate screaming upstairs, likely from Kaycee trying to get him to come outside. Rather than deal with that, she went down to the bunkhouse.
Everyone was there, with Ryan, Walker and Laramie on the couch. Colby was sitting on a chair and Teeter took to sitting on his lap. Everyone else was milling around the house, changing, showering or drinking.
Lexi stopped briefly at the couch to give Ryan a quick peck on the lips. It was about as much physical contact as they had in the weeks since RJ's funeral. They just weren't sure how to be around each other right now.
"How was the hospital?" He asked politely as she went into the kitchen. She had her bag on her shoulder while she had the envelope from Keith and her dad's file folder in her hand.
"Same old," she said as she went into the refrigerator for a beer, setting the papers on the table first.
"You supposed to be drinking?" Colby asked her. She had said something about how she couldn't drink until she was healed. Something about alcohol being a blood thinner and if she ripped a stitch she would bleed a lot easier.
"Got my clean bill of health today," she said as she took a drink. Ryan, confused, turned around to look at her now.
"Your appointment was today?"
"Six weeks," she shrugged, drinking again.
"I would have gone with you," he told her, trying not to act like he was bothered, but he was.
"I didn't want to retraumatize both of us," she said as her phone was ringing. It was Chris, who she had emailed her dad's chart before leaving the hospital. "Hello?" She answered as she grabbed her stuff and beer from the table as she made her way to leave the house.
She didn't say goodbye.
In her shuffling stuff around, she didn't realize she'd dropped her hospital benefit invitation. Ryan got up to get it and, as the envelope was already torn open, decided to look to see what it was.
"What is it?" Laramie asked.
"Some hospital party," he shrugged as he stuffed it back in the envelope. He wasn't even sure he wanted to go up to the house right now to give it to her, but Laramie was already up and standing in his way to go to the couch.
"Go tell her you want to go," she encouraged him.
"….I don't," he informed her. He barely wanted to do anything, throwing most of his focus at work just so he didn't think about anything else.
"You wanna be with her though," Laramie reminded him.
"Well, yeah," he said like it was obvious. "But-"
"You two have been worse than when you were broken up," Colby chimed in now and Laramie motioned to him as if to say 'you see?'
Ryan wasn't really sure what good it would do as he wasn't sure if she wanted to go. And even if she did, it might have been like her appointment that day where she didn't want him there. Either way, he knew he didn't want to lose her, so he left for the main house. When he got to their room, she was still on the phone.
"What did Owen find out?" She asked as she glanced over as Ryan came into the room.
"Other than Roarke, none of them have left California in months," Chris said of his investigative journalist husband. "So, if you're wanting to connect them to the accident-"
"I know they did it," she cut him off.
"Then you're gonna have to find who they sent to set it up," he said gently. "Because it wasn't them. And phone records don't show anything unusual for Roarke."
"Mmm, ok, thank you," she sighed heavily as she hung up.
"Anything?" Ryan asked. He had heard her talking to Kaycee about having Owen look into everything.
"Nada," she said, crossing her arms over herself. They were quiet a moment, again not sure how to be around each other.
"You dropped this," he said, offering her the envelope.
"Oh, thanks," she said as she took it from him.
"…did you want to go?" He asked and she shrugged.
"Keith is kinda making me," she said.
"I meant," he started but then trailed off.
"…..oh," she said as she realized he was offering to take her. "You really don't have to, one of us should enjoy our Saturday," she said, trying to be light.
"Can you stop doing that?" He said finally.
"Doing what?" She asked in confusion.
"Pushing me away," he said now. "With this and your doctor's appointment earlier-"
"You pushed me Ryan," she cut him off.
"Because I didn't want to make out after our son's funeral?" He asked in disbelief.
"It's not just that," she said defensively. "I've tried to get you to talk to me, anything, and you just barely even look at me. You-"
"You haven't exactly been running to me lately either," he stopped her.
He was right. They were caught in a vicious cycle of avoiding each other, thinking the other didn't want them around. The more they avoided, the more they thought the other didn't want to be around them.
"….I don't know what to do Ryan," she admitted, blinking back tears.
"Me either," he agreed gently. "I…it takes about everything I have to even get out of bed." She nodded quietly. "I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry too," she said as she started crying, Ryan pulling her close to hold her, crying himself.
…
A few days later was the night of the benefit. While Ryan had said he would go with her, Lexi still told him he didn't have to. It was going to be a boring event, full of annoying small talk and ultimately trying to get people to donate more money to the hospital. She was hoping she would even be able to dip out early. She was finishing getting ready as Ryan came into their room.
"You look nice," he told her. She was wearing a black dress that stopped just above her knee, with short sleeves and lace detailing all over.
"Thank you," she said back. While they were trying to come back together, things were still a little stiff.
"Are you sure you don't want a plus one?" He offered once more.
"I think my boss might kill me," she said lightly as she noted his boots, jeans and t-shirt with the sleeves torn off.
"Ok," he laughed and she smiled; she missed his laugh.
"I won't be too late," she said, kissing him once. It was quick, but still better than what they had been exchanging.
…
"No horse?" Keith asked as he greeted her at the party that evening. It was a nice party, she had to admit that, knowing how hard his wife had worked planning it.
"Long work day," she said as she got a glass of wine at the bar. "How's it going?"
"So far, amazing," he said. "Honestly, I wasn't expecting this much."
"Then, I guess you don't need me to kiss ass, so," she said, acting like she was going to go. She knew she was on the hook though.
"Good try," he nodded. "I need you to come talk to the big donor from tonight. They already donated, it's more of a thank you, talking about hospital day to day, you get the idea."
"Who is it?" She asked as she followed him and he told her the name of the foundation. She felt herself freezing inside at the name.
"What was that?" She asked him again but they were already there, coming up on a taller man with dark hair, his back to them. It couldn't be, it couldn't…
"Mr. Morris?" Keith got his attention. "I wanted to introduce you to my best surgeon, Alexa Dutton. Alexa, this is Matt-"
"Dr. Dutton and I go way back," Matt stopped him, though he held his hand out to shake. Lexi reached her hand out and he squeezed it before letting go. She had no idea what she was doing, just going through the motions of acting like a normal person.
Keith was looking at her curiously.
"You forget about my fellowship in San Francisco," she reminded him.
"Oh, right," Keith nodded. He knew she came back from San Francisco. John had gotten her the job, but no one ever told Keith why Lexi had come back from California.
"We actually met at an event similar to this," Matt continued.
"Excuse me, I'm sorry," Keith's wife was stepping in now. "Keith, can I borrow you for just a second?"
"I'll let you two get reacquainted," he said as he left, giving Lexi a look almost as if to say 'good job.'
"You remember that?" Matt was asking her as he sipped his drink, which she knew would be gin and tonic.
"I try not to," she said dryly.
"Hm," he laughed a little as he looked her over. "You look lovely, Montana seems to be agreeing with you."
"It's a lot less stressful," she quipped.
"It's not the most forgiving environment," he countered, lowering his voice now as he turned fully to her. "What happened to my brother, Lexi?"
"Snake bite, I hear," she said back. Reading him, she knew he didn't believe her. "You mean, like, what he went through?"
She knew that's not what he meant, but took the chance to dig at him anyway.
"So, when you get bitten by a snake," she explained. "First off, it hurts like a bitch. Then, you get lightheaded to where you can barely walk, or call for help. Then, your body goes into shock. Everything starts shutting down. Breathing gets harder, all the while your heart is pounding, trying to keep everything working. So, you're pretty much awake as you suffocate."
She finished her glass of wine.
"Is that what you meant?" She asked sweetly.
"That is awfully big talk for someone who's father is in a coma," he commented back. "Big brother is dead-"
"Matt," she gritted through her teeth.
"I saw the AG office made a donation, but no sign of Jamie. So, you're not speaking," he continued to list. "Your sister doesn't scare me."
"You'd be the first," Lexi quipped.
"And word on the street is your twin can't leave the ranch without his wife and kid flipping out," Matt finished as he stepped closer to her. "We might be in Montana, but do not forget who has the advantage, who will always have the advantage."
"Noted," she said dryly, holding up her empty wine glass to indicate she was going to get another. She wouldn't let him see he scared her, even if she was shaking on the inside.
At the bar, she ran into Rob and his date, Allison. She told him she couldn't really get into it, but asked if he was ok with her third wheeling with them. Women were always better at reading one another and, seeing panic in her eyes, Allison was the one to jump in and say yes.
In her panic, she texted Ryan saying she might need a ride home, along with the emoji of a wine glass. She didn't want to tell him exactly what was going on, knowing exactly what would happen.
No, she didn't want to walk to her car alone, but she didn't want Ryan trying to fight Matt that night either. They were too many steps ahead, especially after the attack six weeks ago.
Instead, she got a text back reading 'just let me know when to head out.' She continued to try to act normally, but felt eyes on her all night. She didn't have to look to know whose. After a little while though, she looked and noted Matt wasn't around anymore. It was getting late and the party had been thinning out gradually, though most were still there. She decided to take this opportunity to just go home rather than wait around for Ryan; she just wanted out of there now.
"You sure you don't want me to walk you to your car?" Rob asked her as she was preparing to leave.
"Really, I'm ok," she assured him. "I'm sorry I crashed your date so much as it is," she said lightly.
"Should you even be driving?" He questioned.
"After my accident, do you think I would risk it?" She countered and he dropped it. "Seriously, I'm fine, I'll let you know when I get back."
And, with that, she left.
As she left the hotel where the party was and headed down the street for her car, she thought maybe Rob was right. Walking more rather than standing and chatting, she realized how off balance she was. She wasn't wasted but she was certainly past buzzed and shouldn't be driving at all. In her haze, she considered going back inside to call Ryan to just come get her. As she contemplated that though, she felt someone suddenly snatch her hair and yank her backward into an alley.
Matt was then slamming her back against the wall, her head smacking off the bricks.
"Do you think you're funny?" He asked her. Disoriented from the alcohol and now her head, she didn't know what to do. That, and she knew there were a few reactions to being scared: fight, flight or freeze.
Unfortunately, her body chose to freeze.
"Telling me about my brother dying," he was going on as he pinned her against the wall with his forearm. She instinctively pushed at it as she felt like she couldn't breathe. He slammed it back against her and she knew it would bruise. Pressing hard just under her collarbone, she still didn't feel like she could breathe, trying to push but he was stronger as it was, let alone how heavy her limbs felt from the alcohol.
"Do you know how humiliating it was, you didn't just disappear!" He was yelling, fighting to keep her still. "To find out on the news you married a cowboy. LOOK AT ME!" He shouted at her, using his free hand to grab her face, fingers on one side of her jaw, thumb on the other.
"HEY!" They both heard another voice boom from the other end of the alley. Lexi thought maybe Ryan came after he didn't hear from her, or maybe Rob came after her to make sure she was ok.
Matt let go of her face but kept his forearm pressed against her upper chest.
"Why don't you mind your own business?" Matt asked him.
"That's my daughter in law," Nick was saying now as he adjusted his jacket to place his hand on his hip. As he did, he revealed his gun. "It's very much my business."
Matt released her and took a step back. Lexi took a deep breath as she felt like she could breathe finally without him on top of her.
"Get in the truck Lexi," Nick told her and she saw his truck parked at the curb where she had just been snatched. He followed her closely, opening the passenger door for her.
"This isn't over Alexa!" Matt called after her.
"The hell it's not," Nick said, using the level but angry voice her dad was so good at doing as he closed her door. He got into the driver's side quickly, taking off to take her home.
"Thank…thank you," she stammered out to him.
"Of course," Nick assured her. He had just been getting out of work at the bar he tended when he heard the yelling; he hadn't expected to see his son's wife when we went to investigate. "Are you ok honey?"
"Mm-mm," she shook her head, lips pressed together, eyes squeezed shut.
"Do we need to go to the police or-"
"No, please," she said quickly. "It won't…it won't do anything. Please, I just want to go home, I…."
"Ok, ok," Nick assured her as they stopped at a light. He slipped his jacket off and gave it to her as she was shaking, though he was sure it wasn't from being cold.
They rode the rest of the way to the ranch in silence.
…
Ryan wondered why Lexi hadn't called or texted him yet to come get her. He figured she might be having fun blowing off steam with her work friends, but decided to head up to the main house anyway. If her car was there, then she was home. If not, he would leave to go get her. Simple as that.
As he saw his dad leaving the porch though, he realized the night was anything but simple.
"What the hell?" Ryan demanded, wondering if his dad just showed up out of nowhere again.
"I don't want to start anything with you Ryan," Nick stopped him as he continued to walk towards his truck. He knew his son didn't want to see him, that was fine. "I just made sure Lexi got home safe."
"Is she ok?" Ryan asked in confusion. Did his dad see her trying to drive drunk or something?
"She's with her sister in law," Nick said, nodding back at the house. "Go see her." And, with that, he left.
Ryan rushed in, not liking his dad's non answer. Sitting at the breakfast bar were Lexi and Monica, Lexi still in Nick's jacket, hands shaking. Monica was holding an ice pack for her on the back of her head.
"What happened?" Ryan asked as he stood on the opposite side of the bar so he could look right at her. As she lifted her gaze to meet his, he could see the traces of bruises forming on her jawline. She hesitated before answering. "Lexi," he insisted, reaching and taking one of her hands.
"Matt's here," she said softly. She thought he might flip out like he did with the flowers, but he stood there, still holding her hand.
"The hell happened to you?" Kaycee asked. He had come to see where Monica was as Tate woke up wanting her.
"Another Morris brother," Ryan answered for her, nodding for Kaycee to follow him outside.
"You guys," Monica said seriously. She was scared of them taking off too.
"We're just gonna go talk to Rip," Ryan assured them. "Go upstairs, ok?"
He filled Kaycee and Rip in on what happened. Matt must have been at her work event that night and somehow got ahold of her. They all knew the position they were in; they certainly couldn't go after him in that moment, as much as they may want to. No, they were going to have to play the long game if they were going to win against this family.
They decided Lexi and Beth weren't going to drive to the hospital alone anymore and they went back to patrolling the ranch day and night. They had for the first few weeks but as things settled they went back to their normal tasks. They realized they should have known better and Rip offered to take the first night watch.
Ryan and Kaycee went back to the house, with Ryan finding Lexi in their room, laying on the bed with the ice under her head.
"Let me see," he said as he helped her sit up. He felt the back of her head where there was a pretty decent bump already forming. She winced at his touch. "Blood?"
"Mm-mm," she shook her head. He turned her chin gently to look at her jaw, seeing the finger marks where Matt had grabbed her face, much like the bruises had been on her neck when he put her in the hospital all those months ago.
"Did you take anything for it?" He asked and she nodded. "I should have been there tonight, I'm sorry," he told her now.
"Please don't do that," she said softly.
"I don't know what else to do," he said, repeating his sentiment from the other day after they apologized for their distance.
"Just hold me," she said as she reached for him, not even bothering to change out of her dress as they laid on the bed together.
…
The next day was Beth's turn to see their father. With Rip up the entire night before and Tate waking up from a nightmare, Ryan offered to drive her to the hospital. As he expected, she protested, but he then said he had another stop to make anyway, so she eventually relented.
After he dropped her off, he drove to the bar his dad was working at that would just now be opening. He was alone, setting up some glasses behind the bar as Ryan walked over.
"Dad?" He asked, getting his attention.
"Ryan, hey," Nick said, surprised to see him.
"Lexi, um, told me everything about last night," Ryan explained. "I just wanted to thank you…for taking care of her."
"It was nothing," Nick assured him. He looked his son over as he seemed like he had something else to say.
"You supposed to be carrying?" Ryan asked lightly, kind of changing the subject and Nick laughed a little.
"Well, it's Montana," he brushed it off. "And what my PO doesn't know won't hurt him."
"Hm," Ryan laughed a little. He definitely had something else on his mind.
"Can I ask who that was?" Nick asked and Ryan looked at him curiously. "He called her by name, so it wasn't just a random assault."
"She was out in California for a few years," Ryan explained. "We weren't together and…she used to date that guy."
"He beat her up?" Nick asked of the relationship and Ryan nodded.
"Put her in the hospital once," he added to answer, then shook his head. "I didn't go with her then or last night…the day she had her accident, I…" He stopped, wiping at his eyes quickly. "I'm sorry, I-"
"Ryan, sit," Nick told him and Ryan sat at the end of the bar where they had been talking. Nick grabbed him a beer and set it in front of him.
"Did your mom ever tell you about Tyler?" Nick asked and Ryan didn't seem to know who he was talking about. "You weren't supposed to be an only child."
"Mom never told me that," Ryan shook his head.
"You were…probably about three," Nick said as he tried to remember. "Your mom was pregnant and we picked out the name Tyler. It was your grandmother's maiden name. I wanted it for a boy and your mom said she liked it if it was a girl. I had a pretty good feeling though," he said lightly as he thought about Ryan having a younger brother.
"Then I got laid off from contracting," Nick continued. "Slow season. We had you and the house…your mom was working seven days a week at that damn diner, sometimes double shifts, taking care of the three of us." He sighed heavily. "And I get a call one day from Wendy that, ah, your mother was in the hospital. She had started bleeding real bad and um…" He swallowed hard. "She was about 12 weeks along when it happened. And I blamed how much she had to work, that she couldn't rest and take care of herself. I blamed myself," he finished.
Ryan never knew and didn't think he and his dad would have that loss in common.
"Naturally, a few weeks later, I get hired back on," Nick said cynically. "Which was good, we had a mountain of hospital bills then and…" He trailed off, shaking his head. "It started out with me working so much to pay it back, but then it turned into me working so much to avoid your mother. We didn't know how to be around each other anymore. Really, it was the beginning of the end of us."
Ryan was all too familiar with that as well.
"Then I met Sam," he continued and Ryan knew that was Laramie's mom. "And, it's not an excuse," he said quickly. "Your mother was a saint, I never should have…" He stopped as he knew Ryan knew this. "When Sam told me she was pregnant, I saw a chance to start over, so I left," he admitted.
He was right, it wasn't an excuse to abandon Ryan and his mom like that, just disappearing. But it helped Ryan put the puzzle together a little more clearly.
"The nature of my work, I of course get laid off again," he emphasized. "And all I thought about was Tyler, so I…"
"The drugs," Ryan filled in for him when he saw his dad didn't know what to say and Nick nodded.
"I started moving them for these people so Sam wouldn't have to work. Nine months later we had your sister, but it wasn't so easy to get out." He shook his head as Ryan knew about his bust and subsequent prison time.
"I'm not telling you this so you feel sorry for me," Nick went on. "I was selfish and stupid. I hurt you and Laramie, your mothers…one thing I had to finally come to grips with," he finally said. "Was that what happened with your mom and Tyler wasn't my fault."
"Dad."
"Being in that car with her wouldn't have changed what happened," Nick stopped him. "Who knows, if she was on the passenger side, you might have lost them both." He looked his son over. "And being there last night wouldn't have done anything but land you in jail, am I right?"
"Probably," Ryan agreed.
"Based on her reaction to going to the cops last night, I'm guessing they're not much help?"
"After everything, I think we're past cops," Ryan said.
"The hits?" Nick asked. Everyone knew someone had targeted the Duttons by this point.
"Mm-hmm," Ryan nodded as he took a drink.
"Mmm," Nick nodded as he took this in.
"I don't know what to do dad," Ryan told him now.
"You let me look into it," Nick told him seriously. "I know enough people from being inside all that time, someone has to know something."
"Seriously?" Ryan asked in surprise.
"I owe you that much," Nick assured him. "I can't tell you much else what to do, so much as what not to do."
"What's that?"
"Don't get yourself in trouble and taken away from her," he warned. "Don't pull away from her. And don't blame yourself anymore."
They were quiet a moment.
"I'm sorry about Tyler," Ryan offered.
"I'm sorry about RJ," Nick said appreciatively.