I stood on the sidelines as the scout's regiment get ready to leave on another outing. They paraded out, Levi at the front with Erwin. He had never called me to ask what I knew. I was surprised because I hinted it to be big. Maybe he misunderstood. They rode out and the gate closed.

I went to my doctor's appointment to remove the cast and see how it was healing. I felt no pain, I felt fine for a while, but I would not risk it. As I went up the four steps, nurses came out to escort me in.

Sitting in the little room, waiting my turn. I hope she's okay. If they were safe, there was no telling how many would come back or if she would survive either. I got up at my name and walked back. They cut the cast off and looked it over.

The doctor moved it. "Dose this hurt?"

"No." He wiggled my foot. "No." he tapped lightly over my leg. "No."

"Hm, put some weight on it." That was something I had not done for a while. Sincethat I thought was week four. I stood, slowly adding some weight. "Any pain?"

"No."

"Some steps." I took a few steps. "You're walking looks fine."

"No pain either."

"I would say your good to go without a cast now. Leg is straight, that is a plus. Whatever happened, it has healed. How long ago?"

"Five months, it snapped in two."

"Well, you're good now, still, take it easy. No training for a few more weeks as your body gets use to walking on two feet again."

"Okay."

"Anything happens, come back."

"You got it."

Given the clear, but no training my butt. I could do arms, shoulders, core and one leg. Do as I have been, I could do thigh if I did it strategically. One thing I really wanted was to move around with my ODM gear again. The freedom of the skies was calling me.

The crowded streets, teemed with kids running around the square. There was more space at base. Around these parts, I could see why the food was short. The amount of people. Most were in a central location of church court yards, where I was to report for duty to hand out food.

I changed first, wearing my new uniform proudly. I help them pass the bread and soup out to those around. But by the time it got to the end of the line, there was almost nothing left but bread.

So many devastated faces, so many that looked hungry. Here I complained about the almost three days I was without. Levi letting me finish his food. I knew as cadets we were given more food, but it was much shorter here.

These people were becoming thin. If something was not done soon, many would begin to die from malnutrition on top of being cold in the winter. That was soon, I could feel the air was cooler by the days I spent in Quinta. How had I not realized my time was slipping?

"Come on, there has to be more food somewhere."

"Were sorry, it's all we have for the day. We must ration it out until more can be produced."

The man grabbed the guard, another one hit him, and he fell back, holding his nose. "All you guards are lazy, eating all the food while we starve."

If only he knew we were going hungry too. We only received one meal a day as well. It was bad everywhere. I lowered my head as I left the scene. Spotting three kids sharing some bread almost themselves. They got first dibs. They were also allowed to have a slightly larger portion of food.

The day came and the scouts came back. I watched from the rooftops, feeling stronger than I ever had before. My broken leg was like new, life full. I counted; they had casualties but only a couple compared to my last outing. I searched for Emilie, spotting her next to Maddie.

Maddie's arm was in a sling, and Emilie had her head wrapped, covering an eye. Levi was by the cart, guarding what looked like five bodies. I frowned, so many deaths. Only one reason for them.

I walked with them from one roof top to the next until they were back. I dropped down next to Emilie. "Hey, girl. How was it?"

"Bad, three titans turned to seven so fast. We barely made it with those you see. You were right, I trusted my gut. It's the only reason Maddie and I made it." She turned, and she went inside. Maddie after her, not looking in my direction.

"Karoline." I flicked my head to Erwin. "My office. You said you had something to say." Levi glanced at me but followed behind Erwin. He and a few others.

I followed suit, and into his office, I was directed to sit on a couch next to his single seated armchair. "You said you had something, but with expedition coming up I could not make time. We are all here to listen."

Levi leaned against the wall by the window. Hange was behind me with someone else I did not know. I took a seat, unbuckling my journal from the front of my thigh. The mod I added to keep this safe. I unwrapped it with care to not drop anything.

"I uh, it's a lot. I thought it worth the copy and paste, no way I could take all those books with me." I cracked it, shifting the pages. "It's about the titan's" Levi looked; Hange leaned over my shoulder. "And the outside world."

"Why didn't you say something sooner." Levi glared from the corner; arms crossed.

"I did, but I didn't directly say it. I thought this to be sensitive information."

"Levi, she is not wrong. She told me after you left."

"I'll start with the wall. We are aware that we all ran here and built walls, but how did we build them that high with titans around? Then there is this, a map of the world. I believe this is the origin where most of us came. I also think there might be people out there. I ripped parts of books with the most relative information."

I unfolded a building plan and then a map I folded up. "This is the blueprint of the wall. Here is a map of where our walls lay within the land. This walled fortress is only half the land we could inhabit."

Pointing, showing them the books about the world, the things out there. "Jungles, deserts, plains. The world is vast. There is no way we are the only ones. I think the titans come from there too."

"You really believe all this?"

"I honestly don't know what to believe anymore." I pulled the key from my shirt into view. "But, if you wish to see yourself, this is the key to the library in the basement of the church. There was novels too, they came from a place called Marley. Stories we have here but rewritten without the markings. They are trying to hide where we came from." I set the key down.

"Have you told anyone else?"

"No, I personally don't like the wall preachers and if I say anything to the wrong person, they might come after me. If the church has been hiding this for almost a century, they might be hiding other things too. For all I know, you know, and my head might roll."

"What else did you do in Quinta? You were there for five months."

I blinked. I couldn't remember much other than the findings and making my escape. The days were gone from my memory. "Just this, food gathering, and the little bit of engineering." I was digging, feeing like I was missing things.

"If you would still like you can be placed on Levi's squad."

He had no response, a long glance as he waited for any further instruction. As I gazed into his eyes, the flash of another set came through. His eyes but not his eyes.

My heart thudded in my chest; I must go, must find a way out. I could, I could. Can't let his good will go to waste. Better, faster. Strick a little harder. Just escape.

My eyes shot up, looking around the desolate post. Footsteps, voices, cackles. Blood, so much blood. The eyes of a man losing life. A finger snapped, eyes were searching mine. I had my hands on my seethed sword as Erwin came to view.

I looked at the book. "Keep it, I don't want it." My hands relaxed, and I stood. "Thank you for your time."

"The commander asked a question." Levi was behind him, when did he move? When did I get here.

"Oh, um… Yeah, I've been cleared. I already began strength training to bring my leg back up to par. By the next expedition I will be ready to go. I must go to my post."

I was almost in a sprint by the time I left. The pace kept in a long fast stride to my job of the day. I pinched myself several times, I was here, I was in the wall. Look at all the people. Smiling faces, frowns and smirks. Alive. I was alive.

The people were growing increasingly hungry, and it was moving towards a full famine. A posting was made to take as many volunteers as possible to go to the other side and fight Titians. It was a suicide mission.

I crumpled the newspaper. Tossing it in the trash. A fools run, all for decreasing the population. We all knew it, but they called it a noble cause. It made me sick to my stomach knowing they were just sending sacrifices out to die.

People were lining up to sign their name away to the titan's stomach. I rounded a corner to the market, spotting Levi and Hange in the square. I turned back and went in another direction.

I couldn't look at them. Not after my mind slipped away from here. They probably saw all my broken now. Turning to a new ally, he was there again. I sighed, doubling back. As I turned again, he was leaning against the wall, facing me.

Was he? No, I'm seeing things. Again. Seeing people. If I exercise, he will go away like the others, just like yesterday and the day before. I climbed up on the roof and jumped the roof tops to the base grounds. Rolling on my landing.

Made my move to the yards, falling in line with some runners. The cadets gave no mind as we moved into fighting. Up, down, block. I swooped the stick under their feet, and they fell back.

I felt someone behind me, and I turned, going for a fatal blow. My stick clacked another; his eyes burrowing in mine as he staired me down. I breathed hard; Levi as cool as could be. He was following me. He was real, unlike the others.

I shut my eyes, not wanting to lose myself. He wasn't real. Eric wasn't real either. I did not see him like I used too, but he lingered just in the back of my mind rent free. I pulled back, and I went to leave.

His stick came towards my leg, I blocked it. The vibration hurting my hands. "I won't fight you."

"You will, I'm not sure you're ready to go on any mission." He swung, I blocked.

"I am ready." I turned.

Air whistled, I rolled forward and stood to keep walking. I felt his feet on the ground, the change in wind. I had enough. I spun and swung violently. My stick came in to contact with his. Time slowed as I carried through my move. His stick splintered, then pieces came off as they separated.

I wasted no time going for another hit, but he flipped back. I turned, pointing my stick at another. Hange. He was like an annoying little fly that just wouldn't leave, she the accomplice. I dropped the stick and went inside.

Was he following me? Couldn't be, that's weird and being a stalker. Like he said, testing me, what better way than to check my reflexes. See how well I can fight, if I am truly healed.

I picked my bowl up and sat at an empty table. It quickly became crowded with others; some I recognized others I did not. The seats next to me and across form me were empty. Those aorund still did not talk to me.

It would take more than a happy face to make friends. I didn't even know the right answer anymore. Bombarded with people next to all my sides at once, I looked. Levi sat across from me, hands folded as he propped his chin to look directly into my soul.

Hange was beside me. Another also sat but they were new to me. I looked down to my food taking a bite of watered-down soup. It was closer to a chunky broth than a hardy soup these days.

"So, how is the survivor." Hange put an arm around me.

"I'm fine." I pushed her hand off. "Don't touch me. You reek like you haven't showered in days."

"You." I didn't look at Levi, dipping my bread in this makeshift soup.

"Me what?" I ate it.

"You avoid me."

"Yeah, well."

"Why?"

"Huh?"

"Why did you ignore the commander's proposal?"

I was taken a back, trying to remember this proposal.

Hange leaned in. "To be on his squad, he also said you were going to receive a promotion to officer, maybe get your own men to man if you wished."

If I said I did not remember such things, I would not be lying. "Oh, right. Well, I don't want my own men to man."

Her eyes softened as they looked my face over. "What had you so deep in thought. He never said that."

"I wanted to eat in peace." I took a bite, but her face only got closer to my face.

"Tell me."

I shover her face away. "Has anyone told you that personal space exists. Please, for the sake of everyone, bathe." I took my bowl, downing it before I took it to the washing bay and left. Duties done for the day, I retired to our bunker.

Laying on the bed, I tossed and turned. I couldn't take the noise of the others. There snoring, tossing and turning. Every noise had me looking, watching, waiting. Taking my cloak, I escaped the noisy presence.

Taking the steps to the top, and then jumping on top of that part to further distance myself. I lay looking at the stars. Quite, no noise. It was like being on the baloney of that church. Pulling his badge from my pocket, I gazed at it. Bundling up a little more as wind blew in.

"You said if I was nicer and easier to approach people would like me more. I think you're a big fat liar." I sighed, drawing imaginary lines from one star to the next, making images of things that could be animals or people.

The door below opened, I stayed quite. The light footsteps walked around the whole area. Then they went back to the door, but it never opened or closed. Levi's head popped up over the side, and I flinched.

"What are you doing here, sneaking around?" He hoisted himself over the edge.

I scoffed. "Well, I was almost asleep. It's quite. The stars look the same here as they do in Quinta."

He sat next to me, looking up. "You have your comrades making reports of you sneaking out and then disappearing nightly, only to return in the morning. It's cold out here, you could freeze. You're no use dead."

"Well, you figured it out detective, I come here to sleep." I sighed. "I got used to being in a silent world. I was so happy to find people again, fought to get back to it even when I had nothing to tie me here. Now that I'm here, it feels noisy, heavy."

"Sleeping here is not the answer."

I scoffed with a laugh. "What a smooth talker you are, must get you all the ladies to swoon. When I first woke up here ten years ago, it was quiet. The grass was soft, breeze light. It seemed like a nice place to be. Didn't know where here was as I sat up looking around. The peace did not last long, horses trampled towards me, and I ran. Titans running behind the horse outside maria."

"You're sorry ass went outside the wall?"

"I suppose I did. I don't remember how, or who I even was. Not my age or name. I don't think Erwin remembers, but he was the one who scooped me up as he rode by. Ever my hero. He didn't leave me behind, but he could have. So, when Detros did that, it felt like a slap not only to me but him too. Even you, you had my back."

I opened and closed my fist. "It felt good. I was glad his sorry cowardly ass made it back. Made the spite all but worth it."

"Then what happened once you got into the walls?"

"I heard a woman talking and a name spoken. I took all the information I could from all those around me. When asked, I used it. I'm Karoline, I'm fifteen. Snuck out following the scouts. Why, because I wanted to be a scout. I was jailed for three days, then I was given a choice. Join the military and train or serve a yearlong sentence."

"But you became an MP first, why switch."

"Titans are scary. Then I realized what was truly scary, people. The corruption of the MP. Selling weapons to criminals. I asked for a transfer, gave a little hero sob story. Erwin. It was enough to compel them to let me switch."

"Then who are you really? Form the sounds of it, you might not even be from here."

"If I knew the real answer, I would tell you. I don't know how I ended up outside the wall. Struggled for years to understand why I was here, who I was. I gave up last year, it was no way to live. I'm just Karoline, I'm twenty-five, and I serve in the survey corps. No family, no friends, just a corpse hell bent on killing as many titans as possible before I'm eventually food." I smirked. "Four down, a hoard left to go."

He gazed to the sky. "Do you trust me?"

"If I tell you my ten-year life story, then yes. You would be the second." I pulled Erics badge out. "There are times I get these vivid dreams during the day, and it's always looking out. When I was alone for that time, it felt like one long fever dream. I don't remember what I did. Can thank the painkillers and alcohol for that."

"Would you be objected to going back? I could use another squad member. You know exactly which church it is."

"There is only one."

"There is three." He handed me a map.

I unfolded it, looking at the markings. "Um, maybe this one. It's close to where I was. I stayed in the military base, traveled outwards as needed to get things. Became the biggest pack rat, but it was clean."

"I want you to join my team, some things in your journal look like ramblings, but otherwise useful. The only thing we have is the few pages you took from the books. The printed material. Go with us, show us where it is."

"When do we leave?"

"Two days."

I sighed. If that is what they want, could I really say no? "I'll be ready then." I waved him off. "You can go now If that's all, some of us are trying to sleep."