Amidala: Knife's Edge

by ThePurplePadawan

We follow Padmé as she navigates love and politics, both teetering precariously on a knife's edge. Democracy crumbles amid violence and Anakin's fire threatens to engulf them both. But Padmé is stronger than anyone expected. Alternative timeline/version that transplants Shmi's death to a few months before the events of Revenge of the Sith.

25. Chapter 25

I dream of Anakin.

Of his sly smile and unapologetic laugh. Of his arms holding me softly. His lips pressed to mine. The times he told me he loved me, swore to protect me with all that he was. His determination and drive to do what is right. His devotion to the ideals of the Jedi, his childhood fantasy, and their friction against the realities of war. The talented soldier he became and his thirst for more. The anger that too often burned in his dark eyes, aimed at the Separatists or Obi-Wan or the Council. The light he could balance that with, even amid frustration, when it was just the two of us. The grieving husk he became after his mother's death and the massacre of the Tuskens, violence eating away at his light. The moment his anger finally turned on me.

I wake, struggling to breathe, convinced that Anakin's hands are around my throat.

I sit up, knees to chest, and let myself cry. For Anakin the good man, the hurting but hopeful man who I fell in love with. For the twisted man he became, his darkness its own tragedy. For the times I felt unsafe in his presence. And for the times it felt like the two of us together could achieve anything. For our children who will never know their father as I once did, because he is gone.

I cry until there are no tears left.