Previously…

"Sam left."

I finally make eye contact with him; his eyes widen, then flash around the room, taking in the semi opened drawers and Sam's things are gone from her bedside table. Sammy climbs on the bed behind me and draws me into his arms.

I get to a point where I can't bear to be I'm my room anymore and retreat to my nest in the basement.

CHAPTER TEN

For the next several weeks, I refuse to enter my bedroom except to change my clothes. I even ignore the ensuite and use either of the other bathrooms, preferably the downstairs one, as I remain on the couch at night.

Sam takes pity on me and changes all the master bedding, cleans the room, or at least tidies it so that it's not so obvious it's been stripped of her possessions.

Once I resume sleeping in my room, Sammy doesn't invade my space, even though I haven't outright asked him not to. I'm not too fond of the dark hole I seem to be in, but at the same time, I have no motivation to pull myself out of it.

I barely manage to go to work and look after Jake, letting my studies fall behind. Even though I get my books and laptop out, I often find it difficult to concentrate for long, if at all.

Some ease is eventually found in the sameness of having a daily routine. Work, study, Jake, repeat.

It is an almost constant struggle.

Within about a month, I asked to cuddle up with Sammy on the couch while we watched TV.

After this, it doesn't take long for me to start teasing him, unable to ignore the strong feelings of intimacy I crave, likely due to my damn hormones. It only takes two days of this behaviour for Sam to crack and respond to the horny touches, and soon he has resumed entering the master bedroom for the night.

Late June 2013

Having flown to New York for an extended family member's funeral with Jake, even though it will take longer to drive, I choose to hire a car rather than fly back to Phoenix. Sammy stayed home for work, not feeling that my family would be welcoming.

I have been driving awhile when it floats through my brain that I'm in the area where he met Sarah Blake, and the next thing I know, I have looked her up. Without understanding my actions, I go to the auction house, but she's not working. I wonder why I'm so easily given her home address when I'm a stranger, but it's apparent when she opens the door—and she is heavily pregnant. I now believe they thought I was a new friend due to our similar conditions.

"Umm hi, I'm Grace," holding out my hand, she takes it confused.

Her response is pretty much automatic. "Sarah."

"I don't mean to freak you out, but I'm Sam Winchester's partner." This is when I find I'm losing my nerve. "I ah sorry; I don't even know why I'm here. I'm sorry to disturb you. Congratulations by the way." Waving at her extended stomach, grabbing Jacob's hand, and turning to leave.

"Wait, er Grace, was it?" Stopping and taking an exaggerated breath before I turn back to face her again. "Do you want to come in?"

"Nah, it's alright. I shouldn't have come." Attempt to return her friendly smile in kind.

"But you're here now; you might as well come in for a drink." Standing back from the door, holding it open.

"Okay, thanks." Walking unsurely past her, waiting for her to close the door and lead the way to the lounge.

After passing me a cup of green tea, she asks curiously, "So you're with Sam?"

"Yeah, I am."

"How is he doing?"

"He's okay."

"So Grace, what are you doing here?"

"Visiting you or in town?"

"Well, both; I guess."

"I was in the area for a family thing; I'm driving home, and I know this is where Sam met you. This might sound weird, but I s'pose I'm curious how you were able to get through to him after he lost Jessica. Want to thank you too. I don't know what he would be like if you hadn't snapped him out of his anti-relationship frame of mind."

"You think I did that?" She sounds surprised.

"Well, I don't know how much you impacted on him, but you at least removed a few bricks from the massive wall he put up when he lost her."

"So he's taken down the wall?"

"Well, I don't think it's completely gone yet, but it's probably more like a white picket fence now. Well, maybe not quite that either. Probably the bricks are still it, but I think he still thinks he is cursed, and I really can't blame him after what he's been through. Anyway, you've obviously done well for yourself; you look ready to pop."

"Yeah, I'm due next week," Sarah confirms.

"So you could go any day now; is this your first?"

She grins, "Yeah."

"You ready? Do you know what it is?"

"We are in terms of stuff, I think. Not sure if I'm ready to be a mom; but at least I have Ian." She smiles, playing with her wedding ring. "We want him or her to be a surprise. What about you?"

"Yeah, I'm not going to find out either; don't worry, I was scared shitless when I had Jake here, though I was a solo mother at the time; you have a partner."

"Sam isn't Jake's dad?"

"He is; he just didn't know about him until he was three months old."

"How old is he now?"

"Nearly seventeen months."

"And this one?" She asks, gesturing to my expanding stomach.

"I'm five months along. It's definitely been easier having Sam around this time. So do you have names picked out or-?"

"More like a short list for each sex."

Nodding in agreement, I reply, "I did the same with Jacob here. But seriously, I am sorry for just rocking up."

"It's okay," Sarah assures.

"I don't think Sam will like that I've been here. My inquisitorial nature gets me in trouble with him a lot. He doesn't like talking about the past."

"How come he didn't know about Jacob?"

"Well, you know what his life was like, don't you? Meet on a job, maybe have a bit of fun, and move on to the next job. That he even knows about Jake is an accident; I was just another job."

With a confused expression, Sarah mutters. "What?"

"Sam was working a case on his own when I met him, then last year there was a case involving me, but he was a few hours behind Dean, so it's pure luck that I needed his help. Sam caught up with Dean, and I had to tell him. After they left, things got hard. Sam came back to visit Jake a few months later and never left."

"Okay."

Finishing off my cup of tea, I become lost in my mind. Then I remember where I am and who I'm with: "I don't want to impose on you any longer; do you mind if I use the bathroom first though?"

"Sure," giving me directions.

"Come on, Jake."

"He's alright here with me."

"Thanks." Carefully, I follow her instructions to find the loo and take a few moments to breathe after washing my hands properly.

Upon my return, I take a moment to watch her interaction with Jake before speaking up. "You're doing great with him. I'm sure you'll be a great mother. Thank you for the tea, but I suppose we better head off. Again, I'm so sorry for the random intrusion. Honestly, I still don't know what came over me." I'm becoming flustered again, despite my earlier attempts at staying calm.

"It was nice to meet you, Grace." Sarah kindly begins to lead me out.

"Yeah, you too; I can see why he likes you." I take my notepad from my purse and scribble down my burner phone number. "Just in case," handing it to her. "Or even if you just wanna talk, babies."

"Thank you," she leans in for an awkward double pregnant-belly hug. Quickly I recover from the surprise in time to be able to give her a light squeeze back.

"Good luck, Sarah." Then she turns to walk us out. "Come on, Jake, say bye to Sarah." Jake gives one of those cute little kid waves.

"Goodbye Jake, take care on the road, Grace."

"Will do."

That night, when I've stopped at a motel for the night, I make my daily call to Sam to check-in. So nervous, which he picks up on. "Are you alright, babe?"

"Ah, yeah, just today, I don't know what I was thinking, but I looked up Sarah."

"Sarah?"

"Blake," silence follows this declaration.

"Sammy?"

"Okay." He answers smoothly.

"Just okay?"

"Yeah, just okay. I don't want to know."

"Alright, well, I'll be back on the road early, so I should hit the sack soon. I just didn't want you to think I'm keeping secrets."

"Goodnight, Grace" he replies coolly.

"I'm sorry, hun, I love you."

"You too."

"Night," and he hangs up.

When I get home a few days later, I'm greeted with a hug and a quick kiss, but it feels like he's giving me the cold shoulder. Silence ensues through dinner except for interacting with Jake. Sam showers his son and puts him in bed while I shower myself, then lie on my bed, reading by lamplight, exhausted from the drive but wanting to talk to the bloody stubborn Winchester.

When he comes in, I ask, "Jake okay?"

"Out like a light."

"Poor little guy. It was a long drive."

He just says "Hmm" as he finishes getting ready for bed and gets in, lying on his back.

"Seriously?" I ask exasperated.

"What?" Sam says, turning his head slightly towards me.

Quietly, I state. "You're mad, aren't you?"

"No."

"Like that's the truth?" I huff at him. He looks hurt at the accusation.

"I'm not mad." He eventually says quietly.

"Then what? 'Cause you're off with me, babe," stroking his face with an index finger. He flinches slightly, so I pull back and stare at him.

Get sick of waiting, softly sigh, get up, take my book with me, and climb into the spare bed. Spend ages reading, until I fall into an exhausted sleep.

After only a few hours, I wake up hearing noises, a low sort of crying. Thinking it's Jake, look in on him, then realise it's coming from my bedroom. My heart's breaking; I can't bear hearing this from Sammy.

What do I do? I want to stop him from hurting, but he's been distant with me since I met Sarah. I quietly move into the bedroom whispering, "Sammy?" He quickly tries to stifle himself with deep breathing.

I crawl onto the bed from my side and sit on my side, gently pulling him into a hug, kissing his forehead, resting his head on the top of my chest, and making shushing noises. He brings his lower arm under me and rests his right hand on my baby bump, burying his face in my breasts. Stroke his head; soon he is lightly snoring. Whisper to him, "I love you, baby." Then I lay there trying to relax, even if I couldn't sleep, occasionally running my fingers through those soft, gorgeous locks of hair.

A few moans and grunts escape from Sam's mouth while he sleeps, and then he suddenly jolts awake, breathing heavily. Resume shushing and patting the back of his head.

"Grace?" He breathes.

"Yeah, Sammy?" I whisper back.

"I love you," his voice wobbles a little.

"I know, love you too." Whisper back as he lifts his face towards mine. I lean down and softly kiss him on the lips, which he returns in a few short bursts, before resting back on my chest. "You okay, babe?" There's no answer; Sam only snuggles in more, lightly dozing, and I follow suit.

When he wakes again, I softly speak up. "What's wrong, hun?"

"Nothing, I'm fine."

"Babe, come on, please don't lie to me."

"It was a bad dream."

"Okay, but there was something wrong when I got home. Is it because I went to see Sarah?"

"Not really; you bringing her up just made me think of... things."

"Like?" Instead of answering, he kisses me. "Is it Jess?" He shakes his head slowly, no. "Dean?" shrugs.

Well, anything he could be thinking of would involve Dean, so that probably wasn't the right thing to ask. "So what then?"

"Just everything, I guess." Wrap him in a tighter hug.

"You know you can tell me anything."

"I'm good." I can leave it at that, cuddling until it's time to get Jake up and Sam goes down to make breakfast.

After doing the dishes and getting dressed to play with Jake in the lounge, Sam soon joined us, sitting in his chair and watching us. He has a strange look on his face; I can't place it. Sitting on 'my spot' on the couch, half lying down, and close my eyes for a second.

"Babe?" he asks, sounding concerned.

"Hmm?" Respond tiredly.

"You alright?"

"Ya," opening my eyes and rolling more to my right side, looking at him. "You?"

"Aha."

"Quit bullshitting would you."

After a long pause, he draws in a slow, deep breath, quietly saying, "I've been here nearly a year-" Is all he can manage trailing off. I sit up too quickly when I realise what that means—hanging my head and being overcome with dizziness. Let as much of it pass as possible, making him sit up straight with worry, and I simply wave a hand at him to let him know I'm okay. Then, when I can get up, sit on his lap for a hug.

"Sorry." Snuggle into him, taking deep breaths myself to prevent more dizziness, trying to ignore the heartburn. Stop talking; if he wants to be quiet, I'll let him. Giving his lips a quick kiss, I get up, go to the kitchen for water, and pour him a large whiskey.

"It's a bit early," he comments when I hand it to him.

"Special circumstances."

Make myself comfy back in my spot watching Jake play by himself, rubbing my left arm absentmindedly. Look up when Sam sounds worried and calls to me. "Baby?"

"Hmm?" He indicates to my arm, clearly not having a clue what to say; it seems I've scratched it up badly, so it's slightly bleeding.

"Oh. Umm." Mumble, this is embarrassing.

Rush upstairs to our ensuite to clean it up. End up staring at it for a while, resisting the urge to make it worse or lick it up, finding the latter easier when I remember my thirst for blood during my close call last year, as that thought is making me nauseous.

Eventually managed to snap myself out of it, wet a face cloth, sitting on Sam's corner of the bed, cleaning with slow, meticulous wipes. Deep breaths, ignoring the headache that is coming on. I must be taking too long because Sammy comes in to check on me.

"I'm fine," I growl before he can ask. Regretting my tone, then whispering, 'Sorry'. Sam just sits on the end of our bed next to me and takes the cloth and tenderly finishes the job. I look away until he's covered the scratches with a bandage.

Mutter "Ta." Staring at it again.

A hand lands on my cheek, pulling my head around to kiss my mouth strongly but sweetly. I twist my whole body around so that I can grab his face with both hands to return it. Still cupping his cheeks, I lean forward so we are forehead to forehead.

Breathing heavily, kissing him roughly, suddenly desperate for him, all other thoughts out the window.

When he responds just as forcefully pushing himself back onto the bed, I place a hand on his knees and slowly drag a finger up the inside of his jeans leg till I can cup his bulge imprisoning his twitching manhood, rubbing the area, not once releasing his mouth.

Grinding against each other, undoing his belt with my free hand, he grabs my arse with both hands, pulling me on top of him and my leg over so I'm sitting on his hips. I need a hand to prop me up and thrust the other into his hair.

Sam places one hand on my back under my t-shirt and one in my track pants, feeling around on top of my knickers working with my small hip thrusts. I roll off to the side so I can reach 'little' Sammy again. Digging into his briefs, he pushes down his jeans, kicking them off before climbing on top, lightly squeezing my tits, sliding his hands down, pausing quickly to place a kiss on Bub's bump, dropping them off either side, continuing to slide down, gripping the top of my pants, dragging them off, and flicking them onto the floor, resuming grinding.

His hard cock is straining to be free, so I oblige pulling him out and pumping it up and down slowly, getting faster while he kisses my neck furiously, panting, plunging a finger into my pussy, then another in and out, rubbing my clit. Suddenly removing his hand, I groan with disappointment as he pulls apart my legs, sits up silenced when he drives his throbbing cock in, and settles a minute before pounding in and out, harder every time, speeding up until his seed explodes through me.

Sam continues thrusting until he is utterly spent, his cock still hard inside me. A small moan escapes as he pulls out, Sam muffling me with kisses.

"Guess you'll want some lunch now?" I grin mischievously.

Sammy laughs. I just continue grinning as he gets up off the bed and we go into the bathroom to clean up; hurry to dress, and head back downstairs as we remember Jake has been left to his own devices. He is happily playing with his blocks; I join him on the floor while Sam makes sandwiches for lunch.

Peanut butter for Jake and luncheon salad for us. Sam also brings me a lemon green tea and a beer for himself. Think I should say to him, 'So now it's not too early to drink?' But I'm starving and tired, so I think I should leave him alone and stuff my face.

Once Jacob is taken for his nap, I crawl back onto the couch to rest and take a nap of my own.

When I'm awake, he's staring at me, absently sipping on another beer. What emotion is on his face? My best guess is worry or concern.

Hold out my left bandaged arm in mid-air towards him; he slides out of his chair to kneel in front of me. Taking my hand, pulling a stray hair off my face, and tucking it behind my ear.

Leaning down so we are forehead to forehead, grasping my face on either side, he pulls his head back enough to be able to kiss my forehead. Then, with a light, gentle kiss on the lips, I stroke his hair (with my right hand). Forehead to forehead, nose to nose breathing each other in. Then he sits back in his chair, and the whole time we remain silent.

Neither of us wants to talk; both are preoccupied with our thoughts. I know he's feeling guilty and missing Dean. I'm stuck in my past, trying not to think about what I was like or how I was feeling this time last year, especially since that situation is somewhat 'okay' now. Also, I'm still trying to figure out what the hell came over me when I decided to not only look up but to actually go and see Sarah 'Blake'. But I really do think she's the one who started his anti-relationship wall to come down.

Rubbing my expanded tummy, there are mixed feelings over this too. I know Samantha forgave me, but I still feel guilty. I miss her. A lot. I hope she doesn't keep at a distance for long. Cassie is mad at me for not making a decision. I know that it wasn't fair on anyone, but I can't help loving two people at the same damn time.

Remembering the night she left when she had her stuff packed up while I just felt like a statue trying not to cry, my lip bleeding from biting it so much, and how hurt I was when she told me she told me I didn't have to sleep on the couch the night of his birthday and felt it implied I was 'obviously going to be with Sammy once she left, why wait until she was long gone'.

Ultra guilt had led me to sleep on the couch that night and the following weeks after she left, while he stayed in 'his' room.

Drawing a deep breath, I realise my face is wet. Sammy passes over a tissue. Whisper 'Ta'. Get a small nod in return before he takes his empty beer bottles through to the kitchen, coming back with a glass of the hard stuff.

We both know we can talk to each other if we want, but I know that Sam won't talk about Dean again for a while, and I don't want to make him feel like a consolation prize by talking about her.

"You okay?" Sam asks, interrupting my thought so quietly I nearly don't hear him.

"Hormones." I shrug him off.

He drains the remainder of his glass, gets up, and returns with the bottle.

When Jake wakes up from his nap, I get him ready to go to the park and take him downstairs. "Go give Daddy a hug." I encourage the small boy. He runs up to squeeze Sam's leg in a hug, and the large man plasters on a huge fake smile.

"Hey buddy, where you going?" Ruffling his mop of hair.

I reply, "To the park to give Daddy some space, aren't we Jake? Come on." Jake makes a run for the front door like an excited dog. As Sam drops his smile, I place a hand on his shoulder long enough for him to reach a hand up to gently squeeze mine while I give a quick peck on the cheek. "Won't be long, hun."

Return two hours later with a pizza but can't find him, not in the lounge or upstairs, leaving Jake in his room to play (shutting the baby gates on the doorway and at the top of the stairs but leaving the bedroom door open). Look outside, yeah, I was right, the Impala is still in the drive, then before I well and truly start to panic, remember to check the basement.

The light is off, but switch it on and go down to see anyway. Sam is sitting in a corner propped up against a table, a terrible look of pain on his face, with wet eyes, taking deep breaths in between massive gulps of whiskey.

Softly approach him. "Hey, hun, there's pizza if you want some." Sam just nods. "Want me to bring some down or will you come up?" I only get a shrug in reply, so I put two slices on a plate to bring it down to him and leave him to it.

I'm already asleep when he finally comes to bed but get woken by him spooning me. At first, I'm annoyed, sleepily moaning "Sammy." Normally this is enough for him to stop, but tonight he is drunk, so moaning just makes him more desperate. Sam's hand comes down over my panties for a few moments before he slides it under and starts playing, making me horny too. Returning the spooning, as I'm more awake now, I roll over, grip Sammy, and tease him until Sam can't take it anymore. Forcing me onto my back, entering roughly and finishing quickly, then just as quickly succumbing to drunken snoring. I cuddle into him, stroking his head, and whisper, "You'll be okay. I'm always here for you."

After a few months of 'returning to normal,' Sammy seems to start getting agitated easily, only engaging in small talk but trying his best around Jake.

At first, I thought it could be the fact that I'm on the home stretch of the pregnancy or that Sam had resumed communications with us. The last time she came to visit Cassie, she popped in for a short visit to test the waters. I keep trying to get him to open up so we can sort this out before there's a new baby in the house.

He doesn't know that I have occasionally been exchanging texts with Sarah, offering her advice when she asks about her daughter, Beth. I daren't risk calling her.

Eventually, he admits he doesn't know what's going wrong. "Maybe you just need a break?"

"What do you mean?"

"Maybe you should take Baby on a drive; she hasn't been out on the road for ages. You might just need a few days to yourself."

"But look at you; I can't leave you now." Sam gently cups the baby bump, lightly stroking it when the baby kicks.

"Honey, I'm not due for three weeks; take a couple of days. Find a hunt," seeing his expression, I add, "or just go to one of the cabins and chill out."

"I don't know," he shrugs his shoulders, looking like a lost puppy.

"It's just a suggestion, babe, but I think it would do you some good. Clear your head before the baby arrives."

"I'll be fine."

Reply. "Okieday," in an exasperated tone.

It's a week before he truly starts to break down. I come home from work one night to find him packing, trying not to cry. "Sammy?" He's shaking while he packs. I can't get any response from him, so I slap his face. He swings around to punch back; luckily he's trained me to duck, and I grab his wrists. "Sam!" Say louder. Sammy snaps out of it and drops on the end of the bed, putting his head in his hands. Sitting gingerly next to him, use one hand to rub his back, placing the other on his knee.

Calmly, I say his name. "Sammy? What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry," he rasps.

"Babe?"

Sam chokes, "I..."

"You what hun? Why are you sorry?" Some tears escape down his face. Stammering "I, ah I- I hit Jake. I didn't mean to." He finishes quickly.

Attempting to remain calm, I draw in a deep breath and ask, "What happened?" He follows suit with some deep breathing.

"I don't know. I guess I just snapped. He was just being himself. I'm so sorry, babe." Now he's completely broken, sobbing, shaking, and hiding his face in his hands.

"Baby?" I whisper. "Where is he?"

Through the sobbing gasps, I make out the word "room." Gently squeeze his hand and use his shoulders to push up off the bed as I get up to check on Jake. Find the kid on his bedroom floor asleep with a blotchy red face.

My poor boys.

Gently I pick up Jake, laying him in his bed, and then return to the giant baby on our bed. I want to kneel in front of him but don't want to get stuck on the floor since I feel like a friggin elephant. So I sit beside him again, side-cuddling, and continue to rub his back. Holding him tight.

Neither of us can be bothered with dinner, so I make a platter of banana and peanut butter sandwiches, and we eat in the bedroom, lying down, cuddling on the bed; not talking, but when we do, it's quiet. Sam only gets up when Jake wakes to make him a sandwich and the kid comes running in, climbing on the bed, obviously not very happy with his father. Jake clings on to me harder when Sam walks in.

We all spend the night in the same bed, Jacob in the middle slowly becoming closer to Sam. The next day we both go to work; Sam does the daycare run and has dinner nearly ready when I get home. Afterwards, he's running around doing baby stuff that hasn't been done yet. We fall into bed exhausted. He looks like he wants to say something. "Just spit it out, hun."

"Talked to my boss today; you were right, I need a break. I told him so. Bill gave me time off, starting immediately."

"Okay?"

"I am going to go to the cabin like you suggested; if that's still okay with you?"

"I need you to be okay; you obviously need this." Sam puts his hands on my bulging stomach and brings us forehead to forehead.

I place my hands next to his so they are nearly intertwined but not touching. My mind starts drifting to a discussion we had a month ago.

#FLASHBACK#

I had started the biggest baby names conversation we've had so far with, "Hey babe, I've been wondering if it's a girl; would you mind if we named her after Jessica?" I've been building up to this for a few weeks and have been quite nervous about how he'll react. "It's a lovely idea, babe, but I don't think I could..." "Hey, it's okay. I was just seeing; what about Mary or Marilyn after my grandmother?" He thinks for a bit before slowly shaking his head. "I'm sorry." "Don't be, babe. I'm just seeing how you feel. Here's the list I made when pregnant with Jake." Handing him the crumpled piece of paper, with girls' names on the left and boys' listed on the right. "Do you have new ones this time?" He asks, skimming it. "Not written down, but see if there's any on here you'd veto. You can make your own list if you have any ideas."

#END FLASHBACK#

"Are you sure?" he whispers, bringing my consciousness back to the present. Move one of my hands and gently cup his cheek.

"You aren't alright, but you're not talking; you need to go; blow off some steam. You are a great dad, hun, but if you don't sort yourself out, well… the kids. I know you didn't mean it. But, well we don't want it to happen again."

He seems close to tears again. I kiss him, and he places a hand on top of mine, pulling it off his cheek. "You're going to be okay," I whisper. He doesn't respond; he just buries his head in my neck. "When?" I ask him when he plans on leaving.

"First thing," he mumbles against my skin. Stroking his hair until Sam's snores fill the room. I don't sleep; I hold Sam as close as possible, watching him sleep, caressing his face, and occasionally whispering "I love you," etc. to him. Just after it gets lighter outside, Sammy's eyes flicker open. Plant a long, heavy kiss on his lips, making the most of the little time before he leaves. Breaking off, he follows up with a bunch of short and sweet kisses.

"Now who is watching who sleep?" He quips with a short laugh.

Trying to smile. "Sorry, I'm just going to miss you, is all." Planting light kisses all over his face. He takes his turn to cup my cheeks, and those hazel brown eyes stare into my brown eyes. When we get up, I text Cassie, asking if she could pick up me and Jake tonight while Sam gets him ready. Spending some time alone with his son. It appears Jake has either forgotten the other day or forgiven his father, as he is no longer scared of him. I still overhear Sam apologising to him. Several times.

From Cassie:
*Something wrong?*

To Cassie:
*No Swin just needs a break, dropping us off and leaving town.*

From Cassie:
*Ok cu 2nite*

I fix our breakfast and make us all bagged lunches; with extra for Sam on the road, into a large shopping bag. "Thanks." Sam kisses me on the cheek as he takes his food off me. I can tell he is trying to smile, but Sam tries to smile and can't hide the sadness in his voice. I watch him drop it with his gear at the bottom of the stairs. With a massive sigh, Sam joins me at the table to eat, watching me silently.

I move my chair as close to him as I can. The corners of his mouth tip up slightly just for a second. Finishing as much as I can, I push the plate away and turn to the side, place my arm on the table, and go to heave myself up, but Sammy gets on his knees in front of me.

Softly, he runs his hands over my stomach, touching his forehead to it also. Pass my hands through those long, luscious locks stroking the back of my index finger down the side of Sammy's face. He cocks his head into my hand, nuzzling like an animal would.

"We'll be okay, you'll be okay," I say soothingly as Jacob walks over to us and we both put an arm around him. Looking at his watch, Sam jumps up.

"You really need to hustle if you don't want to end up late for work. It's one of your final days on the job, and you definitely want to leave on a good note, knowing there's a position waiting for you when you return." As he helps me to my feet, his hands firmly grasp my arms, and for a moment, we share a reluctant embrace before he lets go. He dashes out to the car with his things, then comes back to grab Jake's bag while I awkwardly waddle over to Baby, calling out for Jake to hurry up.

Once I reach Baby, I help Jake climb into his seat and strap him in securely at the back. It's a bit of a juggling act, but we manage. After making sure everything is in place, I hop into the front seat just as Sam locks the door behind us. Our first stop is daycare, where I drop off Jake along with his car seat. The goodbye is filled with warmth, and I can't help but feel a little tug at my heart as Daddy gives him a big farewell hug.

After dropping Jake off, Sam drives me to my workplace, and as we pull up, the reality of the day sets in. We share a tight goodbye hug, trying to squeeze in as many kisses as possible before I have to rush inside. It's a bittersweet moment, knowing that these last few days are special, and I want to make the most of them. As I step out of the car, I can't help but feel grateful for the little moments we share, even when life gets hectic.

"I will be back." He chokes out.

"You better be, buddy. I love you." Another kiss follows this sentiment.

"I know." Then reluctantly he lets me go, leaning against Baby, watching me walk into work. There is no saying the word goodbye. It's hard enough thinking about it. Turn around so he can't see my tears slipping out.

In the back room, I'm taking off my jacket and large purse when my manager, Monica, asks if I'm alright. "Yeah. Sam is just going away for a while."

"How long?" She asks sympathetically.

"Dunno. A couple of days, maybe a week at least. He's leaving right now. I'll be okay."

"You sure? You're due any day; why's he leaving now?"

"It's just something he needs to do." Fill a glass of water and sip it slowly.

"You don't have to come in tomorrow or the next day. Stay home." She offers kindly.

"I have to work as long as I can."

"Alright, let me know if you change your mind." I simply nod and get to work.

TBC

A/N

Nov 2022 - This chapter fought me so hard, that I'm still not happy with it.

Aug 2024 - I thought I had posted this chapter too, sheesh.