Hello hello! I'm here again, with a new story for a new fandom! Well, new in the sense first time of me actually writing for it. I've actually had this fic idea in my mind for like... 3-4 years and now I'm finally writing it! Pretty exciting not gonna lie. Now let's get into it! Oh, almost forgot! Warnings for the chapter: Child abuse, vomitting, self-harm implications
Chapter 1: It's barbaric, but hey, it is home
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"Hello."
"Who's there?"
Just like every snowflake was unique, every world was different than the others. But no matter their differences they were all filled with life, with light. This world though... it was just empty.
A vast, barren wasteland with nothing but thousands of lifeless keys sheathed to its ground. Once noble weapons, now reduced to nothing but grim reminders of an era of greatness, long gone. No life was meant to exist in this land.
And yet...
A single hunched figure stood, his face covered by a black hood and his hands holding two small bundles. He was watching over the graveyard, after emerging from the darkness, a smirk spreading across his lips.
"This world... it's perfect. Admitedly, it's not as pretty as the islands of my childhood, but they're not as empty as they used to be. And we can't afford to draw any kind of attention." He said, looking down at the bundles, inside which were wrapped two babies, sleeping soundly. "We have so much work to do... But it will all be worth it. Destiny has great things in store for you."
Eight years later...
The silence of this world had been all but forgotten. Instead of just the wind breaking it, now there was the sound of steps, runnning around the ground, raising sand. Of wooden swords clashing against each other. Of little kids laughing.
"Ha!"
"Too slow!"
"Take that! And that!"
"You wish!"
"Haa!"
...
...
One of the boys fell to the ground, no longer able to hold back the other one.
It's not over... I can keep going... I can do this... Get up... Get up!
He tried to muster strength to stand up, but he was hardly able to sit up. His breathing heavy, his arms exhausted, barely able to support his weight.
Come on...! Come on!
...!
...!
"That... that all you got... Venty-Wenty?" He asked with a cocky grin, in between breaths, as the other boy walked over to him.
He laughed before placing his hands on his hips. "Come on, I beat ya this time. Admit it."
The boy from the ground blew a raspberry at him, his expression unchanged.
"Oh, veeery mature of you."
"I'm the... younger brother here... I don't have to... be mature."
"I see you remember that ony when it's convenient. Now come on, let's go back to the base." He extended his hand to the younger boy, unsure if he would actually take it. It always depended on his mood. Sometimes he accepted the help, and others he didn't, even slapping it away. He didn't like looking weak, despite his best efforts to reassure him that it didn't matter. Probably because deep down he kind of knew it was a lie...
"Yeah, okay." The boy snapped him out of his thoughts, as he grabbed his hand and he helped him get up.
But just as they turned to leave-
...!
...!
The wind roared around them. A large, deep shadow appearing in front of them. A dark corridor...!
The older boy stood before his brother instinctively.
While the younger held onto his clothes, his breathing getting faster for a second. He could feel them coming again, clawing at his heart, his body... Just like the moment he couldn't get up, bubbling in his chest along with his anger. And now along with his fear, their breath seperating from his own as they were preparing to spawn from his shadow...
But he couldn't have this. Not now. Now that he could hear steps from the corridor. That he could see a familiar hunched silhouette emerge from its shadows.
"Master Xehanort." His brother formally adressed the old man, as the corridor behind him closed, but it felt like he was reminding him to keep his cool and come stand beside him, after which they both bowed their heads in respect.
For a moment there was silence, the two boys glancing from the ground at each other, feeling the weight of their Master's gaze resting heavily of them, not allowing them to raise their heads.
"Ventus. Vanitas." He finally adressed them, and hearing their names, they finally looked up at him. And if his tone was an indication, his eyes made it perfectly clear: he was not pleased with them. "I've been watching your training for the day... and from my observations, I can tell your skills still leave much to be desired. Ventus." He turned to the older boy, whose stance got straighter, upon hearing his name. "Your defense was weak. You relied on your agility too much and you seemed to forget to attack."
Vanitas stole a glance at his brother hearing this. He was going easy on him (again...).
Why did he do this again? I don't need favors!
"You're too afraid to release your own strength and that fear is weakness. Weakness you can't afford if you ever want a keyblade of your own."
"Yes, Master." Ventus said, trying to keep his face and voice as emotionless as possible. Which wasn't very easy, but there was no room for him to show any more weakness...
"And Vanitas." The old man's voice sounded more angry, more disdainful when we adressed the other boy. "Your performance today was childish at best and pathetic at worst. The puniest creatures of the Realm of Darkness could be a bigger challenge for Ventus than you and perhaps better candidates to forge the χ-blade. With all your... abilities, I expected more from you. And this display of foolishness..."
...!
The Master came closer as he finished. Dangerously close.
Vanitas could feel a bile rising at his throat, blocking the air from reaching his lungs, threatening to come out any second.
His heartbeat rising, as his eyes locked with the Master's, as he noticed that familiar glint inside them-
...!
He glanced at Ventus again. And in the next second, his form was blocked by a keyblade. Big, black and white. With a blue eye etched at the end of the blade. An eye in which he could see his own terrified reflection, as the blade moved closer to his face. As Master Xehanort tilted it to the side and its sharp edge touched the boy's neck.
"Master, stop!"
They both turned to the side, to the source of that reckless, terrified call.
Who didn't seem to actually believe he let it out. But he couldn't back down now. He had the chance to protect his brother. If he was to mess it up, they'd both be in trouble.
"I-I started it, it was my fault. Please." He said, trying his best to keep his panic under control, which got even harder when he saw that look in his brother's eyes. That very same look he was trying to keep at bay.
While the Master stared back at him, without saying a word, or moving his keyblade away.
Until he gave a smirk, which disappeared just the next second, as he turned back to Vanitas. "It better not happen again, boy. Understand?" He said, his voice heavy and hard, like his gold gaze staring down at the boy, who quickly nodded at him.
"Yes." Vanitas forced himself to speak, barely forcing down the rising bile in his throat.
"Yes, what?"
"Yes... Master." And finally allowed himself a moment to breathe when the keyblade disappeared from the Master's hand.
"Good." He said, as he turned his back on them, another dark corridor opening in front of him. "I left you rations in your... base. It should be enough until next week when I return. And I better not see what I saw today. Remember: We have a mission. You have a purpose to fulfill. You have to forge the χ-blade." And with that, he vanished into the dark corridor, just like he came.
...No more... No more!
...!
...!
The moment he was gone, Vanitas fell to his knees, coughing and heaving violently. His body spasming, writhing as he finally threw up a black puddle of goop on the ground.
And from inside it, just like every time, slowly he could see them rising. Those creatures born from his anger, his frustrstion, his fear... finally getting their chance to surface. As if his own thoughts weren't loud enough, he had to see them take form...!
I'm angry.
"He-..."
I'm weak.
"It's oka-"
I'm useless.
"It's okay, no-"
I'm scared.
"I'm here."
(I'm in pain.)
"I'm right here, I got you. It's okay. You're okay."
...Ventus' voice.
He could hear it right next to him. He could feel his hands holding him steady. But he couldn't turn to face him. He never could. As much as he wanted this comfort, he hated it when he saw him like this!
He tried to (pull away) stand up, when he seemed to have let it all out, ready to charge at these monsters, make them go away. Prove that he could... do something right!
But the next second he stumbled on his feet.
"Whoa, slo-... Van-..." Ventus was calling after him, but still he didn't turn.
He moved towards one of the monsters, the one that was closest to him, still barely having a form, and he started pummeling it.
"I can do this! I can do this! I'm not weak! I'm not! I can do this!" He kept calling out over and over as he just kept hitting it, ignoring his own pain. The pain he felt with every blow he landed on it.
Again. Again. Again! Until he wouldn't have to use his bare hands anymore, but a keyblade of his own!
"Vanitas, stop!"
"Let go of me!"
...!
...!
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Vanitas was standing. His eyes on the ground, his vision blurry, getting clearer with every ragged breath.
When did he stand up?
When did he stop... hitting...!
He didn't register the sight before him right away. But not too far from him, fallen on the ground, hiding part of his face...
"Ventus...?" He breathed worriedly, in utter disbelief (horror), watching his brother wipe black goop off his face, the same black goop that was on his fists...!
He hit his brother...!
"It's okay. I'm okay, don't worry." Ventus said quickly, smiling at him, but still hiding that part of him that got hit.
No... that's not okay! None of this is okay! I hurt you!
He stood up and made to walk over to him, but Vanitas almost instantly ran off, his monsters following close behind.
Ventus stood there for a moment, helplessly watching as his brother's figure faded into the horizon.
He wanted to run after him, calm him down, tell him that it was okay... But at this moment he knew it would probably do more harm than good. His brother wanted, or... needed to be left alone for a bit...
He probably wouldn't feel so uncomfortable about it if those monsters weren't there too... They only showed up when Vanitas' emotions were getting too big, too intense, and they mostly came from the bad ones. Anger, fear, sadness... And he hated them. Rightfully so, Ventus wouldn't like it if every time he was upset a creature that embodied it showed up.
They had told their Master as soon as it started happening, but he didn't really do anything about it. If anything, he seemed to view it as a good thing, as something to be encouraged... Something useful to their mission...
And... that was probably true. Their goal was noble after all.
They forge the χ-blade, the ultimate key to Kingdom Hearts, heart of the worlds. They open Kingdom Hearts. They let the true light out in the worlds, they save them all from the darkness once and for all and they become heroes.
And they were the only ones who could do it. Ventus was a being of pure light and Vanitas of pure darkness.
Maybe that was why this was happening to him. Maybe this was normal for dark beings. He had probably seen it in one of the books the Master brought them once.
Such is its nature, darkness spreads like wildfire. If there's enough darkness in a heart, it can draw that of others. And sometimes even the very creatures that dwell in the Realm of Darkness.
Yeah, it did make sense...
Probably...
...
But it didn't make it really feel okay...
Why did Vanitas have to go through this? And why couldn't he do anything to help?
...
Maybe he left him alone long enough now.
I messed up!
I messed up!
I messed up!
Vanitas couldn't think of anything else, except that.
The way Ventus was hiding his face. The black goop in his hands as he rubbed it. The look in his eyes before he noticed he was watching him. How he instantly started saying it was okay, even though it wasn't!
How could this be okay?!
It wasn't okay!
He hit Ventus!
He hurt him!
He couldn't mean it when he said it was okay!
He'd have to tell the Master about what happened... No, of course not! But what if Ventus would?! Or if he saw it anyway?!
He said even the weakest creature from the Real of Darkness would be a better fit...
He'll replace me!
He'll send me away!
I'll never see Ventus again!
He buried his face lower on his knees, gathering them even closer, to make himself as small as possible. His hands clutching his head so tight, that his fingers could pierce his skull along with all those echoes of his voice. Getting louder and more despaired and twisted with every word, to the point where they just felt like screams.
Screams he was too scared to let out, for the fear that they would create even more of those monsters. He could already hear them running all around him, but he refused to see them. He just wanted them to disappear (and himself along with them...).
...!
More steps! And they were... they were headed towards him!
No...
No, no, no! Stay away from me!
...!
...!
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...
He wanted to turn away. He wanted to run. But he couldn't move this time. He was trapped. Trapped by those arms across his shoulders and around his knees. That sound of a heartbeat in his right ear, somehow feeling louder than all the steps around them, which little by little seemed to stop.
Until it was just him and Ventus. Still there, still unwilling to let go...
Vanitas raised his head to look at him, his eyes red and swollen from crying, taking in the gentleness in his eyes, that earnest smile. And it reminded him once again that his brother was indeed pure light. Something he could never lose (or hope to be...).
"...I'm sorry." He whispered, looking down again.
"It's okay." Ventus answered. Vanitas opened his mouth to say something, but before a word could come out, he firmly added "I mean it." However, his tone and expression changed back to that smile again. "Hey. Look at me. Do I look so badly hurt to you?"
Vanitas raised his head again, shaking it to answer the question.
"I'm fine, the Master left, the monsters are gone too. It's all over now."
"For how long?"
The way his brother's smile disappeared again made it clear he heard him. But Vanitas didn't want to take it back (this time). "The Master will come back next week. The monsters probably sooner. I will mess up again and lose control, and it's going to hurt again! And- and-"
"Hey, take it easy now. Take a breath."
...!
...!
...
...
He held onto Ventus' words, feeling them pulling him out of the tide of his thoughts, before he could see them take form this time. His breathing slowly steadying, quickly becoming his own again.
He turned back to him, expecting an actual answer, even though deep down he knew he couldn't get one.
That was just how things always were and how they would always be... At least until they'd forge the χ-blade.
But...
"Look..." Ventu's voice was heard again. But this time he wasn't looking at him. "I know it's hard, but... it won't be like that forever. You know that right?"
"Yeah... Things will be better once we forge the χ-blade..." Vanitas replied, but his answer was more mechanic than anything.
For a while Ventus didn't say anything else, until he stood up with a sigh. "Wanna head back now? I think we could use some food."
Vanitas stared at his brother extended hand, this time looking unsure and wary. He only reached for it, when he was ready to withdraw it and even as he stood up, he looked around warily again. But then he remembered:
The Master's not here.
It's safe.
It's okay.
By the time they arrived at their base, the sun had set and the first stars had started appearing in the sky. The cannyon was rather big and it did provide them with shade during the day but entering it during nighttime was rather scary.
Thankfully Vanitas could conjure a flame to light their way to it and keep it bright during dark. His magic was getting a lot better, despite the fact that he still hadn't summoned a keyblade.
Ventus was a little jealous of that actually, since the only magic he could muster was a gust of wind here and there. And Vanitas took great pride in that. But it didn't seem to cheer him up, when his brother brought it up as they were eating their gruel.
Today had been rather rough for him, to tell the truth. As was... basically every day their Master would come to check on them.
He even said he'd go to sleep early, which was never a good sign...
He was laying on his... lying ground (slightly elevated from the ground piece of rock) with his back turned to him, suspiciously still and stiff-looking.
And Ventus just didn't know what to do...
He just kept stirring the remaining gruel on his plate, unsure if he could take any more of its bland, rather unpleasant taste (He'd have to ask Vanitas about those special jar-monsters some time and the stuff they were dropping. They smelled pretty good, maybe they were edible).
Until it was too much, and he just turned to the wall next to him. Filled with small unfinished scribbles.
He had to finish some of them some time. But truth be told, it was kinda hard. Just finding a good stone to scribble with was a struggle on its own. Were there any left?
...
Maybe...
"Hey, Vanitas! Come check this out!" He called at his brother, picking up the last two stones he had left.
The boy slowly turned around at first, and after seeing Ventus motioning him to come over, he basically dragged himself to the other side.
"What is it?" He asked, sitting next to him on his lying ground. his voice was bland, but not sarcastic or moody (like most of the time). It was mostly tired and maybe unsure.
"Nice right? I've been drawing at the walls lately. I don't like looking at nothing." His brother answered.
"What would you even draw? It's not like we see much of... anything here."
"Well... we see tons of keyblades. So, I drew some of them. And their wielders! Or how I imagine them at least. And there are also the stars we see at night. And us. Look! I'm drawing me now! What do you think?" Ventus said, showing off his scribbles excitedly as his brother looked at them all in silence, his expression unchanged. Until...
"You don't have a face." Okay, that was probably sarcasm.
"It's just not finished. Wanna join me?"
At this, his eyes seemed to light up a bit. Even if it was just for a second."...How?"
"Here. Just take this rock and start scribbling it on the wall. And make whatever you want." He said, handing him the second rock.
And so they started scribbling together. The sound of their rocks classing against the wall being the only sound heard.
Ventus had thought of trying to start a conversation, but Vanitas seemed so focused, he didn't really want to interrupt. Instead, they both stayed focused on their creations, but still stealing a few glances at each other.
"Well...?" After a while Vanitas' voice was heard, showing his brother his drawing.
"Hey! Is that-"
"It's my first time!" He said quickly in his defense, fully aware that the drawing was... not the best.
"You drew yourself? It looks great!" Ventus said, actually meaning it. It did look great for a first attempt. "Oh, I finished my drawing of myself too. What do you think?"
Vanitas looked at his drawing, not really knowing what to think of it, much less what to say. "Uh... it looks... kinda like you?"
Ventus gave him a deadpan look. "Gee, Vanitas. I know you're darkness and all that, but come on. You gotta know a better compliment."
"Hey! I know plenty! You're just not there yet."
"Uh-huh. Whatever. I think they're both great." He laughed a little as he spoke, proudly looking at their works. He finished his drawings, Vanitas seemed better... they had fun with this.
"Hey, Ventus?" He suddenly heard his brother's voice next to him. Small. Worried.
"Hm?"
"Do you think we'll ever be good?" Vanitas asked, now sounding scared.
"What are you talking about? Where did that come from?"
"Well... I don't know, but I don't think I did a very good job here, and it's just like with training. Every time the Master comes and... he says I'm still not ready. Still not strong enough, or good enough. At this point I don't think I ever will be. And then how will we forge the χ-blade? What will happen to us if we don't? What-"
"Hey, hey... Slow down, okay?" Ventus said quickly, gathering him close. He wouldn't let this happen again. No more monsters today. "It's okay. We're still learning. We'll figure it out as we go. And one day, we'll both be unstoppable, we'll forge the χ-blade and we will be heroes! And we'll do it all together!"
"Really?"
"Yes, really! I promise!" He sealed the promise with a hug. A hug his brother didn't return (he never really did that...) but based on the way he felt him relax, he was sure he appreciated it and knew he meant it. "Hey, wanna go out see the stars?" He asked, as he pulled away, a grin spreading across his brother's face.
"Race ya to our spot!" He called out, already running off.
"You better not expect me to go easy on you!" Ventus called, running after him.
"NEVER!"
And that's the first chapter of my KH Fic! I really hope you enjoyed it! Please leave a review and stay safe. See you next time! :)