Winter's Refuge
Chapter One Hundred Fifty-One
JED 'KID' CURRY
Aiden insisted I get into the bed and get some rest. Not sure if he remembers I haven't eaten anything but the sandwich Heyes brought me. With his assistance I do as he asks and lay down in the bed. Without the tight bandages, my ankles hurt more. He left mumblin' somethin' about the wounds on my ankles just as Heyes carried in a tray piled with food and Mike brought three forks, one for each of us. I listened as they talked about the trial and what happened and Heyes told Mike about some of the hostages. The food was good, oh so good. The ladies of this town are good cooks…still I prefer Auntie's cookin' over all of them, especially her fried chicken.
I tried a little of everything but didn't eat much. My stomach is still a mess of tight nerves since last night when I…I thought it was best for everyone if I died. Was that only last night. Seems a lifetime ago. And then the trial and then findin' out what true friends I actually had. But Heyes is the one who shared his strength and got me through today. And now I'm tired, so tired. I fell asleep listenin' to Heyes and Mike talk until I was abruptly woke up by somethin' icy cold on my ankles.
"Jed, don't move," Aiden ordered. But I propped myself up on my elbows to see what he was doin'. The tray of food was gone and so was Mike, but Heyes was standin' at the foot of my bed like a sentinel. (Have to tell him that. He'll be surprised I know that word and I'm sure he'll like the comparison.) It was dark outside, and the curtains had been pulled. And there was that cold again.
"Aiden, what are you doin' to me?" I asked.
"Wrapping this medicine around your ankle. And the cold helps the swelling. I'll leave them on for an hour and maybe then bandage them like they were today. My brother invented the balm that I'm using to aid healing. It should help."
"Cold," I said, my eyes closin' despite the treatment. And that's the last I remember. I woke up must have been hours later needin' to pee. There was a single lamp in the room and Heyes was usin' it to read in the other bed. "Heyes."
"Hi sleepyhead," he said. That was a nickname he hasn't called me in a long time. It felt comfortin' now.
I started to sit up and swing my legs over the side of the bed.
"Don't get up. Aiden didn't rewrap your ankles yet. Thought the air would help them heal."
"Have to. Got to pee."
"Wait…" he said, fishin' around under the bed for a chamber pot. "Okay, use this. I'll steady you."
When I was done, he left our little room to empty the chamber pot. I picked up the book Heyes was readin'. It's the one Frank gave me that first night I was in his dark cell. I almost ended my life in that cell. The dull ache inside of me is growin'…and with it my sadness. I don't know how to fight it. A gunfighter I can fight. But I can't fight this. I need to talk to Heyes or Aiden. The more I think about this small room, the more I feel confined. I need to get out of here.
Standin' on my feet was painful, but my left foot and ankle seem to be able to take my weight some, so I hobbled to the door holdin' onto furniture for support. Reminded me of watchin' Joy and Ruth Ann learnin' to walk holdin' onto the couch and chairs. Auntie called it 'furniture walkin''. Now that's what I'm doin'. The thought of my little girls made me smile. I don't know what's wrong with me...the sadness just comes back and now thinkin' about my babies has made me cry.
"Jed, what are you doing? Where's Heyes?" Aiden's voice was loud and made me feel guilty and that made the sadness, the depression worse. I stopped, not knowin' what to do.
"I'm right here." Heyes came runnin' up in back of the doctor. "Just stopped to talk to Miss Denise about some food for the Kid."
"Heyes, Aiden, help me," was all I could manage. It was enough.
Aiden balanced me. "Heyes, get his chair and put it behind him. Now Jed, sit down slowly. What were you thinking walking?"
His voice sounded harsh. "Sorry, I don't know, sir. Sorry, needed to get out of this room and do somethin'." I didn't like that he was mad at me. I sat in the chair.
Heyes knitted his forehead and brushed his hair off his face. "So, what do you think, Doc? Can I push him on a trip to the mercantile, maybe?
The doctor gave me a harsh look. I was sure he was goin' to say no. He's mad I got up. And the codicil to my acquittal says he has control over me, just like the guards and overseers had at the railroad camp.
Instead, he said, "He's not going anywhere until I bandage those ankles. I won't allow them to get infected." He studied me for a moment. "Jed, listen to me. As you just felt, depression can come back on you at any time. Little things can trigger it. Think about what caused it this time. I plan to work with you on some techniques to help you cope when you feel it start. Heyes, I'd like to work with you, too."
"I think that would help me," Heyes admitted. When I looked at him, he grinned. I remember meetings with Aiden when Heyes was still on parole. The doctor told me to join the meetings so he could help me too. I did, but now I think I should have paid more attention. And the guilt started that he had tried to help me and I only went through the motions of the meetings to help Heyes. But I should have listened closer.
"Need to get the bandages and then, yes, all three of us will go to the mercantile."
ASJ*****ASJ
It felt good to be outside. Everyone waved and said 'hi' and wished me a speedy recovery. Aiden assured me very few know what I tried to do.
HEYES
I understood the Kid's need to get out of our room. I retreat to my office space in the barn and concentrate on accounting when the memories of the dark cell invade my thoughts and work with the numbers and project future numbers. Making plans and refining them keeps my mind busy and my thoughts on the future. I've also found that holding Nettie while sitting on the porch with Angie helps keep the anxiety away. So, I think it's good we go to the mercantile. I suggested that because that's where Jeff should be this time of day.
After we passed about two buildings, the Kid dropped his hands to the wheels and said, "I got this Heyes." And I was glad he did, as blisters were forming on my hands. He handled it easily. He's strong but I have to remember that his physical strength covers a fragile man right now. But I'm determined that changes. And I'll do everything I can to make sure he heals.
Aiden held the door open so the Kid could roll through. The store has been rearranged to make the aisles wider for Jeff's wheelchair. "Anything you need here, Kid?" I asked him and saw him tense.
I don't think Aiden saw it, but I did. "What's wrong? You want to leave?" He looked like the lost Jeddie I remember.
"Wanted a book and some peppermints but ain't got no money. And I can't work to earn money for a while. And gonna have a big doctor bill from Aiden from all this care." He was almost whining, but he never whined about anything, not when we were small and not when we were on our own. Now, he just looked overwhelmed. I smiled. He only wanted small things when I would have bought him more if it would have made him happy.
"Kid, I got some money and I believe Phoenix has an account here. Get what you want," I told him.
He studied me for a moment then said, "Yeah, that's right. Don't know what I was thinkin'. Just got scared of bein' broke again. If you have it, think I'd rather pay cash, please."
"Cash it is," I told him . I was surprised he said please. We had lost that courtesy with each other years ago. I watched as he picked out three books and read the back cover of each before deciding on one. He wheeled himself up to the counter and put it there. "Jeff here?" he asked Gabe.
Gabe's eyes were focused on the Kid's rollin' chair, not the Kid. He looked away self-consciously. "He works in back now. Doesn't want to help customers."
And I saw the Kid's protective mode kick in. I looked around to get Aiden's attention. He was already listening.
"Jeff doesn't want to help customers, or you're embarrassed to have him help them?" the Kid asked loudly, too loudly.
Moving behind him, I put my hand on his shoulder ready to back him up if needed.
Gabe answered quietly, "Aww Jed, people don't like to see him in one of them things. Bad for business."
The Kid was focused on Gabe and didn't see Jeff roll his chair out from behind the curtain separating the office and storeroom from the front of the store. I could feel the Kid's anger growing and don't know if he can handle those feelings yet. Or will he blame himself again that Jeff was injured.
When the Kid didn't answer, I did. "Gabe, people don't like seeing your brother in the rolling chair or YOU don't. Seems to me people would think he was trying to save Three Birds when he was hurt and be grateful to him."
Gabe heard Jeff gasp and turned to look at him without answering me. They held each other's gaze for a long second. "Jeff, I'm sorry. Never looked at it that way before, just saw that chair. I am proud of you for standing up to Skylar Shaw, even if it was a foolish thing to do. Think it would be good if you were out here helping customers again. Nobody knows our merchandise like you do."
"I'd like that," Jeff answered in a subdued voice. I figured out then he was fighting his own demons about being confined to that chair. "Jed Curry, what can I get you?' he asked with a smile.
"This book and a small bag of peppermints," the Kid said.
"Change that to all three of these books, a big bag of peppermints and a deck of cards," I told Jeff. And with a wink at the Kid I added, "We'll be paying cash today."
The Kid rolled his chair himself back to the Arden's house and I walked on one side and the doctor on the other. "Heyes, thanks," he said, looking forward and not at me.
"For what, partner?"
"For havin' my back in there. I felt embarrassed I was in a rollin' chair for the first time and wanted to fight back but couldn't find the words. Heyes, it keeps comin' back and I'm afraid it's goin' to crush me." He wasn't crying but I could tell he was fighting that back.
Aiden stepped in front of him. "Jed, how do you feel right now?" he asked.
Why was he doing this here, now? "Aiden, maybe we can do this at your house?" I asked.
"No, it's important for me to know just what he feels right now. Jed?"
Taking a deep breath, the Kid answered, "Upset about what Gabe did to Jeff but thankful to Heyes for sayin' the right thing. I'm hungry and lookin' forward to readin' my books and eatin' peppermints."
Aiden stepped out of the way, and we started on our way again. "Would you have been able to handle that situation if Heyes wasn't there?"
The Kid kept rolling, saying nothing until we got inside Aiden's front door. "Couldn't have handled it without the guilt and sadness attackin' me from inside. Needed Heyes' help," he admitted.
Aiden nodded. I think he wanted the Kid to admit he needed help. He hasn't asked for help many times in his life. Taking the handles of the chair, Aiden rolled the Kid into the kitchen. "Denise, dear, would you fix some lunch for three hungry men?
JED 'KID' CURRY
Aiden continued the cold medicated treatments every few hours and I think he gave me somethin' in my water because I slept a drowsy sleep a lot. But each of the next two days, he and Heyes took me out. On the second day, we went to the old saloon, now becomin' a new schoolroom for our kids.
They were paintin' the inside and out. Aiden put a paintbrush and a paint can in my hands and said, "Jed, you get to paint the lower part of the walls with Jeff." And I was happy to be useful.
It was busy there. True to their word, Pappy and Aaron were still in Three Birds helpin'. Miss Duhamel and Mr. Kolmand, still workin' side by side, were sandin' stuff off the floor. I didn't want to think about what it was. Heyes was busier checkin' people's paint jobs than paintin' anything himself. I was just glad he was nearby.
Frank was there and Miss Beverly and Miss Denise, trailed by little Mikey, provided a steady supply of sandwiches, water and bowls of canned peaches. And Aiden, who does magic with his medical scalpel and a needle and thread, was makin' a true mess of paintin' around the space where a new window had been ordered. Juan and Arnie had ridden in from Phoenix for supplies and were workin' on paintin' the high eves.
Arnie's been comin' in a few hours every day to work in the telegraph office, too. And I saw him leave and walk over there with paint on his hands and clothes. Workin' together created an almost festive feelin', and Heyes kept the work movin' along. He has a knack of doin' that without really orderin' anyone to do anything. He always had and I'm glad to see it's back. I know Mike Loveland and Lom are still in Three Birds too. Frank said they were workin' down at the new saloon fixing holes in the roof.
Brian and Scott Birde, Hortencia's younger brothers, were helpin' Father Patrick clean up around the church and cemetery. Felt good to see the town workin' together.
Me and Jeff made it all the way around the room paintin' the lower three feet and met where we started and rolled over to the food table side by side. Lookin' back, the floor was covered with white paint footprints and the tracks of our wheels. Goin' to have to do somethin' about that when we finish the paintin' This is one of the first days I've really enjoyed in a long time, so, of course, I had a naggin' feelin' that somethin' would go wrong.
And it did. It started when Arnie motioned Sheriff Birde outside to read a telegram. Frank did not look happy. He looked scared. Arnie went inside and found Heyes and brought him outside to read the telegram, too. And I can read my partner's face easily. Somethin' bad was definitely in that telegram.