In a column of crackling flames the Hellivator arrived in hell. It stood there silently as something rustled about within. After a few seconds of waiting the metal door loudly slid an inch open, making an awful scratch.
From inside Eldar Kettle winced, he was hoping for a stealthy entrance. He stuck his eye to the crack and looked about.
Empty.
Kettle opened the door fully and stuffed the magic chalk that was in his hand back into his belt.
"Looks like that blue demon really wasn't lying." kettle remarked.
The kettle tiptoed through the halls of hell, conscious of every sound, fearing each drip of water to be a footstem and every creak of a pipe an approaching enemy.
He crept to the end of the entrance way where the cavern split off into various little tunnels that frayed out into different directions. Elder Kettle stood there for a few moments before hearing music coming out from one of the paths.
He poked his head round the edge and saw the flashing lights of a party along with the clamouring voices of the party goers.
Kettle carefully snuck down the hall, pressing himself against the wall so as to not be visible from inside the party room. He continued on until he was directly outside the entrance to the party room. Opposite the entrance was an ornate vase, covered in a thick glaze that glinted in the light.
Kettle stared at the vase deeply and managed to catch sight of his target in the reflection. The devil.
"Oh yes, you lot have been working tremendously," the devil complimented one of his employees ,"I heard that the mortals are working on technological developments so we are due for an upgrade soon. Sorry, just a sec, I have something to attend to."
The devil began to casually walk towards the corridor where kettle was hiding causing the veteran to panic, he had nowhere to go.
The devil jaunted out the party room and put his hands on his hips,
"Well devil," he said to himself ,"there's nothing like a job well done."
As the devil walked out the room he noticed that the vase opposite the room seemed unpleasantly large.
"What the me is going on here," the devil exclaimed at the unsightly vase which looked like some huge kettle with legs, "I need to give those design demons a firm talking to."
The devil walked on and Kettle breathed a sigh of relief.
"Ok," he said to himself ,"I hope this magic sweater works as well as advertised."
Kettle crept along the corridors, following the devil through an incomprehensible web of tunnels. His heavy military boots were not designed so each of his steps made and unavoidable *clop* sound that was only offset by the constant soothing Hell ambiance of brimstone, fire, dripping pipes and distant screams.
Soon, the devil arrived at an opening. It was a carved out room, marks from the excavation still visible but in the middle of the room were three cubes, perfectly hewn from the rock. The stone the room was made of was made of jet black rock that had a slight pearlescent sheen over the surface like that of a mother of pearl but seemingly animated and moving.
"Ahhh," the devil sight ,"achievements mean to much more when you work hard for them...
Kettle slowly tiptoed towards the demon, finger outstretched to poke the demon.
"... you really outdid yourself devil, soul controlling rooms from this vein of Psyceorite, ingenious it-
Kettle reached out and poked the devil in the small of his back.
"wah?!" he said wheeling around ,"who poked me"
Both kettle and the devil stared at each other awkwardly for a few moments .
"Wait a second,"
The devil reached out and poked Kettle's chest and sure enough his suspicion was correct, he was wearing the magical sweater.
"HaHA!" the devil exclaimed elated ,"that magical sweater ran on brotherly love and it looks like now that's all gone, nothing can stop me!"
The devil sprung backwards and shot a fireball at Kettle. The old man shrieked and leapt out of the way in a surprising show of agility.
The fireball flew through the air and hit the rough stone wall behind the kettle, banishing the iridescence from that area.
The devil reloaded his pitchfork as if it were a shotgun making a satisfying click click sound. He fired again at Kettle which he once again devil fired again and again, his face having a grimace on it. Too much was at stake here to be playing around.
Shot after shot was fired but kettle was too agile, however his stamina was wavering. The devil had backed up to the other end of the room from the recoil of his pitchfork and Kettle had leapt to the opposite end to make it easier to dodge.
Soon Eldar kettle was out of breath and sweating, not only due to hell's unique climate. Kettle slipped behind one of the carved out stone cubes. He caught his breath and sat down, regaining his energy. But as he sat there, from within the cube he heard faint sobbing, a very familiar sobbing...
"Oh I am DONE with this!" the devil screamed ,"that Senile teapot can't hide from ME!"
The devil Charged up his pitchfork, this time the flames were a bright blue and crackling loudly like a bonfire.
The devil fired this fireball through the air. Between him and Eldar kettle were the three boxes. The fireball blasted through the first two boxes, flinging crystalline shards of the rock in every direction.
Kettle heard the explosion and sprinted out from behind the final box just as the blast shot through it and exploded against the wall creating a giant dent in the rock and sending webs of cracks throughout the room.
"Nowhere to hide now Kettel," the devil chuckled ,"you can dodge but only for so long"
Mugman looked up and saw an open cavern above him. The top of his glass had been melted off leaving a gaping hole in the top of the glass. As he stared at the hole his form slowly began to grow until he was the size of his regular self.
Mugman floated tentatively up from the jar and saw the hole blasted through all the cubes.
Mugman zipped out of the box and saw Eldar Kettle fighting the devil, if that's what you would call it
"Mugman?!" both of them yelled
"Kettle! Mugman yelled back
"Get your brother and Chalice!" he yelled "i'll keep the devil busy"
"No you won't!" the devil screamed.
He fired a shot of fire at Mugman and began to try and sprint towards the boxes. However, Kettle reached out and grabbed the devil's pitchfork.
He tried to yank it out of the devil's grip but the demon held on tight. As a somewhat automated response The devil began to rapidly shoot fireballs out the pitchfork sending hundreds flying up into the air and blasting the ceiling which began to rain dust and debris. The two wrestled over the pitchfork, trying to point the volatile tip at each other and jerk it out their grasp.
Mugman slipped into the box that was neighbouring his and zipped in to see c
Chalice with a distressed expression on her face, trying to unscrew the jar lid from the inside to no avail.
"Chalice!" Mugman yelled
"Mugman!" she yelled back, both of them relieved beyond belief, "you came back for me!"
"I don't care if i'm a useless Stickler who can't keep anyone safe," Mugman said determined, "your my friend and i won't leave you behind."
Mugman flew over and began to try and unscrew the lid but it was stuck on tightly.
"Eldar Kettle!" he yelled, darting back out of the box ,"I can't open the jar! It's in this stone box!"
Kettle grunted and pulled his machete out of its sheath. He held it in his hand lightly and then pulled back his arm for a throw.
He flung the knife through the air, spinning it like a boomerang. At first the weapon flew straight but the directing began to tilt, curving the pseudo sword in an arc of 180*.
The machete looped round and flew cleanly through the hole in the side of the stone box, slicing the top of the jar off
Mugman floated back in to see chalice trying to yank the machete out of the wall it had lodged itsel into.
"We've gotta save Cuphead now!" she yelled ,"I hear crumbling rock and that's never good when you're underground."
Mugman floated into the final cube and saw only rubble. The pedestal that all the other jars had been on was snapped in half leaving a rough surface on the top.
"Cuphead," he shouted desperately ,"please Cuphead, you have to be ok."
"Go away," mumbled a muffled voice from the rubble.
Mugman quickly turned to where the voice was coming from. He rushed over and began to clear rubble with his ghostly hands. Beneath a pile of dust and debris he saw the glowing blue light and smooth glass of Cuphead's container
"CUPHEAD!" Mugman screamed joyously ,"get ready, chalice is gonna break you out."
"No." cuphead replied weekly ,"I deserve this. If i wasn't such an arrogant fool we would all be so much better. You and Chalice would have never died, we wouldn't have had to spend a month running from eternal damnation. If I just stay down here I can't hurt anyone else and I won't always have to be the one who's to blame.
If you take me back I'll just end up pulling you back down like the burden I am. So do both of us a favour and just say you couldn't find me."
"Don't listen to the devil cuphead," Mugman said ,'' he spoke to all of us, and in a way he is still speaking to us. But you know what he's like Cuphead. He's just here to damage you. I'm saving you cuphead, whether you like it or not because you are my brother and I love you.
And you love me too, and that's enough. Granted you mess up a lot but that's ok. Let's go and fix it."
"Coming through!" Chalice yelled.
Chalice's ghost floated around the corner of her box holding Kettle's machete in both hands,clearly struggling with the weight. She slowly bobbed over to Cuphead's jar lifting up the knife/sword and then brought it down on the glass.
The jar exploded into shards and Mugman immediately rushed in to hug his brother.
"I-I'm sorry Mugsy," Cuphead wept ,"I didn't mean to."
"I know," Mugman replied.
Suddenly Chalice Pounced on top of both of them, joining the hug,
"Come here ding dongs," she said ,"you ain't Hugging without me."
Outside the cubes, a huge bolt of electricity suddenly leapt from Eldar Kettle, zapping The devil.
"Gah!" the devil screamed, shock giving him the strength to yank the pitchfork out of Kettle's grasp and leap back ,"what the Here!"
Around Kettle electricity began to crackle in the shape of a rather tight fitting sweater.
At that moment the souls of the three cups floated out into the open and saw Kettle standing off against the devil.
The demon growled and shot a test shot at Kettle in the form of a fireball.
The flaming sphere never even reached Kettle. Electrical tendrils reached out and attacked the fire, tearing it apart like tissue paper. Kettle stood proudly in the middle of the room, unscathed.
"YOu'll pay for this Kettle!" the devil screamed, "those cups are my property! You're all just specks, I am eternal, sooner or later, I'll end up on top!"
The devil hefted his Pitchfork and threw it like a trident right at his adversary. The fork shot through the air like a bullet. Once it reached Kettle a huge flash of blue light engulfed him.
"Ha!" the devil laughed ,"not so high and mighty now ar..."
The devil stopped dead as he saw his pitchfork heading straight back at him.
The devil ducked frantically and the pitchfork flew over his head and jammed into the wall, adding more cracks to the lattice that covered the cave.
"Phew!"the devil exclaimed ,"that was a..."
Out of nowhere a huge section of the cave ceiling fell down on top of the devil, pinning him under a pile of rubble.
"Eat brotherly love," Kettle sneered smugly ,"Come on kids, let's get out of here."
The late cup trio all floated after Eldar Kettle and out of the giant cave just as the entire thing collapsed, ejecting a cloud of dust down the smaller cave.
The group of tableware sprinted through the caverns, or that is Eldar Kettle Sprinted through the caverns, the cups all floated.
The intruders ran past one demon who was carrying boxes in the other direction and accidentally knocked him over.
"Oi watch where you're going"" he yelled ,"what what? INTRUDERS! I'd better sound the alarm."
The demon ran into the closest room and saw a big red button with the wordsThe Alarmplaced on top of it. He slapped his hand on the button and loud blaring alarms went off all around hell.
Demons at the party grabbed their butter knives and ran out the door, Demons working at computers grabbed some electrical wiring and swung them about like nunchucks and the janitor demons pitched up their mops and charged into battle.
As the quartet sped down the tunnels ,Kettle trying to remember his way, Demons began to pour in from every corridor. Any demon that stood in their way got hit with Eldar Kettle's knuckle special.
As they ran, more and more demons joined a mob that was following them along the passageway, all holding makeshift weapons and utensils.
"Look!" Chalice yelled "i see the elevator"
(my brain wants me to write lift but i can't because in the show they call it an elevator)
The tunnel suddenly opened up into the devil's spacious throne room with the hellevator at the opposite end
The group all dashed for the elevator and all piled in. Kettle shut the door and began to frantically push the button.
Just before the demons reached the door, in a column of flame the box was sucked up to the surface world.
"Uh oh," said one demon, "what will we tell the boss?"
"Well he did already have all those cups trapped in a soul proof jar in a soul controlling box," another one explained ,"i think it's his fault they managed to escape!"
The Elevator appeared at the surface.
The door slid open and the cups all tumbled out laughing their heads off.
"And then that other demon Tripped over and landed face flat on the floor, HA HA HA!" Cuphead yelled
Everyone burst out into laughter.
"I'm glad you're all safe," Eldar kettle said ,"I don't know what I would do without you boys, and I 'm glad we could save Chalice too, you seem nice."
"Thanks!" Chalice said in reply, "but what are we gonna do about, being ghosts."
The cups all through for a few seconds before Mugamn had an idea
"I've got it!" he Exclaimed ,"We can go and see Quadratus, he'll know what to do."
"Great idea Mugsy!" Cuphead exclaimed "but where is he? Where are we?"
The Hellevator had dumped the cups into the middle of the woods with no bearing of where they were.
"We are exactly 8 miles east of Inkwell city." Kettle announced ,"the cove of Quadratus should just be a few miles north west."
All the ghostly cups looked at Eldar Kettle in astonishment.
"I've mapped every inch of this island in my mind," kettle said ,"i must know the lay of the land incase of invasion."
Kettle narrowed his eyes suspiciously and looked from side to side as if expecting invasion at any moment.
"Ooooookaaaayyy," Chalice said ,"sooooo, let's go!"
The group trekked through the woods. Actually Eldar Kettle was the only one who was trekking, the others all floated along effortlessly.
After an hour of searching, the dense forest finally opened up into a clearing with a stone circle in the middle. Quadratus'es clearing was as eerie as ever, the only light coming from the glowing water as the trees blocked all the sun.
"How will we summon him?" Cuphead asked his brother ,"we need a fizzy jawbreaker don't we?"
Mugman floated over to the pool of water and picked up a Jawbreaker that was nestled between the rocks and the grass
"I always keep one spare," Mugman explained ,"it's always good to plan ahead."
Mugman tossed the slightly manky gobstopper into the pool and the water began to fizz and froth.
"Ugh oh my god what was in that jawbreaker!"Quadratus spluttered
"Sorry," Muygman apologise ,"it's been sitting here for a while."
"If you want me to help you then you shouldn't be feeding me soil... -er"
"Er?" Cuphead questioned.
"I've made a resolution that i must rhyme
But you're disgusting sweet caught me off guard that time."
"I'll make sure to clean it next time, but trite now we need your help. We..."
"I believe nothing more needs to be said
It is rather clear that you three are dead."
"Um yea," Chalice replied ,"would there be a way that you could make us like, not dead"
"Fear not young cups, i'll do as you've asked
For I have taken Pottery class."
Suddenly the water erupted with various pottery tools and machines. Pottery wheels spun rapidly while watery tentacles melded lumps of slay on their surfaces. Carving tools and pieces of clay flew about so fast the cups couldn't see what was happening.
As they watched in awe they could see their various body parts start to take shape. Their heads began to be formed on spinning pottery wheels, their arms were moulded into shape by watery limbs and thin sheets of clay were rolled into clothes. Once all the pieces were put together a huge kiln appeared from the waters and the soft clay bodies were placed inside.
While the kiln was glowing red and roasting the clay, a furnace emerged from the water filled with molten gold. The gold was poured into a flat mould and dunked into the water sizzling loudly.
At that moment a loud ding came from the oven signalling that the new bodies were done. Quadratus opened the door, pulled them out and added the finishing touches like attaching Chalice's gold lining and lacing Cuphead's shoes, before presenting the finished bodies.
"Here i present you your new physical form
Though there are faults to which i must warn"
The cups all entered their new bodies and began to move around happily testing them out.
"Hey, mugsy!" Cuphead called "Cheers!"
Both Mugman and Cuphead tried to pull off their heads to "cheers' ' with their heads like they always had done but their heads seemed to be cemented to their bodies.
"Whai? Why can we decapitate ourselves?" Mugman asked
"When i made you another body
I did not make it quite as sturdy
You now are made of a softer clay
There simply was no other way"
"You hear that Cuphead! That means you have to be extra careful." Mugman cautioned.
"Eh, i ain't too worried about it," Cuphead replied ,"let's go home."
The huge pile of stones where the huge cave once was began to jiggle and move. From the debris a furry ,dusty hand emerged and began to push more of the rubble out of the way.
The devil pulled himself out of the rubble and gasped for fresh air. He looked around and saw a crowd of demons all standing there just looking at him.
"Well come on!" he yelled ,"don't just stand there, HELP ME!"
The demons rushed forward and pulled the devil out of the rubble. He was completely grey from the dust and his fur was matted and ruffled out of shape.
"Where are those cups!" the devil yelled ,"did you let them get away?!"
"Well," one demon said ,"you also failed so i think it is understandable tha...
The devil turned around, reached back into the pile of rocks and pulled out his pitchfork. He then turned to face the demon and blasted the insolent scum into oblivion.
The devil brushed himself off and gritted his teeth.
"You all better be back doing work when i get back or you're all fired." the devil screamed ,"literally"
The devil slammed his pitchfork on the ground and disappeared in a puff of smoke.
The devil appeared in the cup's living room while they were all eating some mid day pancakes to celebrate reincarnation.
"YOUR SOUL IS MINE!" the devil screamed gleefully reaching for Cuphead's chest to take his soul out. But as his hand drew near an arc of electricity jumped from the cup and electrocuted the devil.
The devil stood on the spot, panting and smoking for a few seconds. After he had caught his breath he turned to Mugman.
"Well never mind, at least YOUR SOUL IS MINE!"
The devil reacted to take mugman's soul but was electrocuted again.
"What?!" he devil exclaimed ,"that's not how this work"
The devil turned and tried Chalice who was sitting on a chair with a smug grin knowing what was about to happen.
*ZAP*
"Grrrrrr," the devil growled after being shocked once again, "HOW ARE YOU ALL WEARING THE SAME STUPID SWEATER!"
The devil reached to take Eldar Kettles soul but was electrocuted again
"AAAAAARG!"
The devil stormed out of the door kicking over the cote hanger as he went because he's just that kind of guy.
The cups all turned to see him stomping walking down the path, kicking stones really hard, as if that did anything except hurt his feet. As he was walking he caught sight of the goat from the front yard.
"HA!" the devil yelled, his voice muffled through the window ,"i bet you didn,t protect your little goat friend did you? You better say goodbye!"
The devil reached out to take the goat's soul but he was zapped again.
"WHY!" he screamed ,"IT'S A GOAT! HOW DOES IS EVEN WEAR A SWEATER!"
With that final tantrum the devil slammed his pitchfork on the ground and disappeared.
"That really was a stroke of Genius Chalice," Cuphead complimented ," cutting up the sweater into pieces so that we can all wear it. Brilliant!"
"Welp, it's best to play by your own terms," Chalice replied ,"these little sweater bracelets made from the sleeves should keep us safe and not always so hot"
"Well" Eldar Kettle said with an air of finality ,"looks like we've bested the devil at his own game, and if that scoundrel ever tries a stunt like this again. We're ready!"
Eldar kettle held up his palm and all the cups got up and dis a four way high five in the middle, smiling with glee as they were finally free of the devil
The next morning the Cups both woke up happy as ever. Jaunty jazz was playing on the radio, the smell of breakfast was in the air and the devil seemed to be well and truly bested.
The cups leapt down the stairs and entered the kitchen.
"Hi Eldar Kettle ," they both chimed, "what's for breakfast
"Hi again boys," he replied, "what are you doing over there, you should be eating your pancakes, i put them right in front of you?"
The cups looked at each other in confusion and then turned to look at the dining table. On the cup's two chairs were to ashen versions of themselves. It was the soulless bodies from which the devil took their souls from.
"Well that's unnerving," Mugman said ,"Eldar Kettle, how did you think these were us!"
"Wait what?!" Eldar kettle said, turning around ,"oh, i thought you looked malnourished, that's why i gave you extra pancakes."
The cups turned and their eyes bugged out when they saw that there were two huge piles of Pancakes in front of their soulless husks.
"Well me," Cuphead said, putting his arm around himself, " All's well, that ends well, now let's eat some pancakes eh' !"
And with that, the screen did an "iris out", focussing on the face of Cuphead and his doppelganger and then fading to black.