False Start

by starspangledpumpkin

Elphaba is trapped in a time loop.

18. Off Center

Once I looked towards the stars /

Now my gaze falls to the ground /

show me how to live/

tell me I'll be fine/

before the night is over/

cause I'm all alone /

center of my heart/

is there a way back to you?/

Or have I gone too far?

~o0o~

Many cycles had passed since her murder and with each one, Elphaba grew more and more miserable. The weight was crushing. The emptiness that lay before her was suffocating. She just wanted to stop feeling this way. She wanted relief from this torment. She couldn't even waste away in solitude. Every day she was at that carriage and even when she hid away in her room, Galinda and those satellites would be there to get ready for the party, ready to try and goad her into going so they could humiliate her.

Maybe this would be the key to end her suffering.

Elphaba scrubbed her cheek and sniffled as she stared down from the landing of the clock tower. She wanted to stop hurting, she wanted to stop being afraid, she wanted to disappear. Maybe if she were reborn it would be into a kinder world.

She secured the rope to the rail and then tightened the noose around her neck. She took a deep breath as she swung her legs over the railing. She balanced on the edge, her toes hanging off. She could hear voices, so she needed to hurry before someone stopped her.

Nothing mattered anyway. Who would cry if she died? She stepped off. Her stomach lurched and there was a jolt.

CRACK!

She dropped to her knees, the wheels of the carriage narrowly missing her nose. There was a dull ache in her neck and her limbs felt much too heavy.

Dammit.

She sniffled slightly and stared at a ladybug on a blade of grass.

The door opened and Fiyero's boot nearly came down on her head before jerking back.

"Whoa! Are you okay, Miss?"

He went out the other side and helped her sit up, then stand. She let him. His hand lightly brushed along her neck.

"My driver didn't hit you, did he?" Fiyero asked in alarm.

She sighed heavily. "I wish he did."

"Aw, hey, things aren't so bad," he said.

"Are you looking for something?" Galinda called. "Or someone?"

Elphaba was shunted to the side. Fiyero made a show of looking at his schedule.

"History with Dr. Dillamond?"

"You just missed it," she said, tossing her hair and flicking her nails at Elphaba. "You can go, Artichoke."

"No one wants you here," chimed Pfannee.

Elphaba's breathing hitched. It wasn't the first time she heard that line. The bruises from her murder had been there, so maybe she needed to keep trying. Again and again until there was nothing left to pull back to the beginning of the cycle.

She walked around the carriage and headed straight to the road. There was one benefit to the loop, she knew so much of the city schedule now. So she walked right out in front of the fruit truck.

It didn't even slow down. Not as her head cracked against the windshield, not as she went down beneath the tires, not even as she rolled to a stop. The tail lights flashed briefly as the truck tore around the corner.

Damn. She was still alive.

Elphaba gasped and wheezed. Oz, this hurt.

Fiyero appeared in her line of vision.

"Oh, gods, she's alive!" he gasped. "Just hold on, Miss! You'll be alright. AV, CALL AN AMBULANCE!"

She didn't need his charity.

People were already lining along to gawk at her.

"She just walked in front of it!"

"On purpose?"

"Maybe she'll die."

Elphaba couldn't move, she couldn't do more than make pained noises in the back of her throat.

"You're okay," Fiyero said, shakily removing his vest to put against the gash on her head. "The ambulance will be here soon."

"What can I do?!" Galinda asked.

"She needs her head elevated," said Fiyero.

Galinda whined and used her purse, making it Elphaba's pillow. She looked terrified.

Elphaba looked up at the sky. Why did it have to be so calm? So blue? She hated looking at it. She wanted peace. She wanted rest.

A shudder ran through her body. Her vision spiraled into darkness. In an instant, she stepped back from the carriage.

Elphaba sighed and shuffled off to figure something else out.

She tried again and again, but nothing worked. Every time she'd slip away, instead of quiet oblivion, she was right back by that horseless carriage with symptoms of what she had done to herself.

She eventually moved to magical methods.

BOOM!

Elphaba stumbled forward and collided into the carriage. The wheel landed on her foot, snapping her bones. She gasped in pain and tried to tug herself free, ultimately failing.

"Back up from the carriage, Miss," said Av.

Gasping and whimpering, she swatted Fiyero's boot to wake him up.

He snorted and lifted his head. Her breathing must've been too weird, because his expression grew into one of discomfort.

"Er…"

She swatted his boot again.

Fiyero blinked and looked over the side, then launched himself into the driver's seat.

"Shit, Av! Watch where you're going!" he exclaimed, moving the carriage off Elphaba's foot.

She exhaled sharply and leaned into the side of the carriage for support. Fiyero climbed out of it and helped her into it.

Well, more like he picked her up and set her inside.

"Let me take you to the hospital," he said. "I'll feel awful if you're badly injured."

She believed him. Their true first encounter was so long ago. She thought he was like everyone else. That he truly was self-absorbed and wouldn't have cared if she'd gotten hurt.

Av climbed back in and drove off to the nearest E.R.

Elphaba reached into Fiyero's boot.

"Hey! What are you—oh."

She took a gulp from his flask and handed it back to him. He took a small sip and tucked it back into his boot.

She wanted to protest his help, but she hurt too much. She'd just stay the night in the hospital. Maybe she needed to wait for her natural lifespan to run out.

"Why can't I die?" she whispered and buried her face into her arm.

"What was that?" Fiyero asked.

She didn't repeat herself. It didn't matter. Fiyero would never truly care about her, everyone would always hate her, there was just no point.

When they pulled up to the E.R. entrance, Fiyero gingerly supported Elphaba inside.

"My driver ran over her foot," he said to the nurse at the check-in desk.

The woman looked up and blinked.

"She's green!" she gasped.

Elphaba closed her eyes firmly then opened them, turning her skin to the same beige as her sister's. She didn't want to spend her night in the hospital getting poked and prodded. She spent the first five years of her life getting tested and would rather drink bleach again than deal with that.

"You're seeing things lady," Fiyero said.

She blinked rapidly and slid over a clipboard and pen before grabbing her coffee mug.

Elphaba plunked down in one of the uncomfortable wooden chairs and filled out the information.

Rather than leave to go plan his party, Fiyero sat in the chair next to her.

"That's a neat trick," he said. "I think the green suits you better."

Elphaba finished filling out the form and Fiyero took it to the counter for her. He sat and picked up an old issue of Ozian Geographic. He glanced at her and saw her look of confusion.

"You'll need a ride home," he insisted. "And I'd like to make sure you're okay."

She sighed through her nose. Maybe she should teleport away now and wallow in pain until the loop reset or jump in front of a bus.

"Thropp?" a nurse called.

Elphaba looked up, surprised she was being seen so quickly.

"Up we go," said Fiyero, helping her up. "You're really tall, you know that?"

The room was really more of a nook with large curtains acting as walls and the door. Elphaba's foot collided with the chair as she sat down on the bed. She inhaled deeply and hummed loudly.

"Sorry!" Fiyero pushed it away from her and watched carefully as she settled back into the hospital bed, making sure nothing else was in her way.

When she settled back, Fiyero sat down in the chair.

"On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate your pain?" the nurse asked.

Elphaba shrugged and held up two fingers.

"Your foot was run over, I'd say it was more than a two," Fiyero scoffed.

"Well, why don't we take a look?" the nurse suggested brusquely. "Which foot is it?"

"The right one," Fiyero answered for her.

The nurse unlaced and pulled off Elphaba's boot, which hurt like a bitch. Elphaba hiked up her skirt and unhooked the stocking so it could be peeled off. There was a bit of blood across the top of her foot.

"Oh, sweet Lurline!" the nurse gasped, which was not something a person wants to hear a seasoned nurse say.

Fiyero went grey and looked at Elphaba.

"Please allow me to pay for your medical bills," he said.

Elphaba pantomimed shooting herself.

Fiyero frowned at her.

"You'll live," said the nurse, handing her boot and stocking to Fiyero. "I'll get you some ice."

Her foot was swollen and purple. Her toes could point around a corner.

Oh well, it was just for twenty-four more hours.

Just another reminder that she was trapped. She shivered and stared up at the ceiling. She didn't look anywhere else, even as her foot was wrapped up in ice packs and elevated.

The nurse turned her foot to the side and noted the scars criss crossing up her calf. Most were old and faded, though some were still ridged from healing.

Elphaba jerked her leg and the nurse let go.

"So, what's Shiz like?" Fiyero asked.

She slowly looked at him.

"What are the people like?" he tried.

She looked back at the ceiling.

"You don't say much, do you?" he said. "Or is it because your foot hurts so much?"

She sighed heavily.

"I'll get you something for the pain," said the nurse.

She returned giving Elphaba an injection in her foot that helped her relax, but Elphaba's voice continued to elude her. She didn't make a sound as her foot was packed in ice.

"Once there was a shepherd and his wife who desperately wished for a child of their own," Fiyero blurted.

Elphaba continued staring at the ceiling. Fiyero cleared his throat.

"They had tried for years and consulted the witches in town for what to do, but everything failed and soon they worried they would never have a child to carry on their legacy. As one final attempt, they went to the wizard who lived at the edge of the Grasslands. However, he was a wicked man who would likely place some sort of test on them. Even so, they were clever people and hoped they could handle the task."

The curtain behind him shifted and a small child peered out from beneath it. As it moved, Elphaba caught a glimpse of another child in the hospital bed, rapt with attention.

Elphaba closed her eyes and listened to the story Fiyero must have heard a hundred times before.

"The boy was transformed into a black bird with a white crown, but at the same time, two frogs who lived in a nearby pond were transformed into birds as well, which then flew into the open window. Now, there were three birds flying around the palace contained in a hut—"

The curtain drew back and a Pig in a white lab coat entered.

"Miss Thropp?" he said. "I'm Dr. Khinzer."

"Aww," the children whined.

Fiyero looked down at the little one lying by his chair and winked.

"To be continued," he said. "But my friend needs to be looked at."

"Ruu, come back over here," a man said gently and the small child disappeared.

"Let's take a look at that foot," Dr. Khinzer said. "And then we'll take you for an X-Ray."

Elphaba inclined her head.

"And, sir, you're welcome to come along for support," he said to Fiyero.

"I will, thanks," he said.

Why was he insisting on sticking by her? He didn't know her. Did he really feel that bad about it? Maybe he was just that sort of person.

Soon they were back at the "room" and the children next door were gone. Elphaba sighed and looked up at the ceiling again.

"Just taking a blood sample dearie," said the nurse.

Elphaba didn't like needles and tensed up. They were going to poke and prod her trying to decide if she was actually human. Fiyero took her hand.

"So the son, who was quite the sorcerer himself but clever like his parents, knew he couldn't entirely undo the enchantment, but he could change the markings. The wizard was a foreigner in the Vinkus, so the boy gave himself the markings of the Arjiki tribe in his feathers. When the father made his way through the palace to find his son, he was able to recognize him right away and pick him out amongst the others.

"Well, the wizard was spitting mad. He cursed the air blue, stomped around, and ripped the hair out of his beard!"

Elphaba twitched as her blood was drawn.

"However, he had to be kept to his word and the boy was given back to his father, with one caveat. Since the boy was leaving his apprenticeship with the wizard, he would no longer be allowed to cast magic ever again. If he did, the wizard would know and would come to drag him back to his palace to be his slave and he would never see his parents again."

Fiyero finished the story and started another one. A while later, Dr. Khinzer returned.

"Well," he said, holding up the x-rays. "All five of these bones are broken. What did you say ran over her foot?"

"Horseless carriage," said Fiyero. "Model O."

"What was in it?"

"Me, my driver, some luggage."

"Hm. I recommend seeing a bone specialist, then," he said. "I can recommend one right here at the hospital. This sort of brittleness isn't normal for a healthy human. As for the blood results: pregnancy test came back negative."

Elphaba frowned, wondering what that had to do with anything.

"However, you are severely malnourished, Miss Thropp," he said. "You are also very underweight for someone of your stature." He looked at Fiyero. "A good place to start is smaller, but more frequent meals rich in vitamins and nutrients. However, I worry it is related to the brittleness of her bones. We will need further testing, but for now let's deal with the issue of her foot. Ah, here's the surgeon now."

A man entered and stood by Elphaba's injured foot.

"What do we have here?" he asked, touching her shin.

A chill ran through her, turning her blood to ice. It was him. The Stabber.

Elphaba recoiled. She needed to get out of here. The sluggishness from the pain medicine wasn't helping matters.

"Miss, please settle down," said the Stabber, reaching out to hold her still. "It's just surgery, it's not the end of the world!"

She kicked him in the chest with her good foot, shoving him away from her.

Elphaba launched herself out of bed, collapsing as her weight was placed on her injury. She started to crawl away. She needed to get out of here.

"What the hell, you crazy bitch?" the Stabber spat. "Nurse! Sedate her!"

"Hey! No!"

Fiyero wrapped his arms around Elphaba.

"No sedation," he said. His voice was firm, commanding. People listened. "I want him away from her. Now. I think the best thing will be to get medication to handle her pain and I will call my family surgeon and doctor."

He spoke with such finality, Elphaba wasn't sure she'd be able to argue even if she was in her right mind.

"What? Are you insane?" the Stabber demanded.

Elphaba flinched and covered her eyes.

"You are upsetting her," said Fiyero. "Please, leave."

"Avonze? Go on," said Dr. Khinzer.

The Stabber scoffed in disgust and stalked away.

Elphaba didn't realize she was weeping until Fiyero swiped his thumb across her cheek.

"You're okay," he murmured. "I promise. Come on, up we go."

She was put back in the hospital bed. She looked up at Fiyero to see a different air about him. Like he was a completely different person. She was hit with the fact that he really was a prince and had been raised to act like this.

Yet, he elected not to, favoring an easy-going, approachable manner.

Elphaba couldn't stop shaking. She didn't like hospitals to begin with, but knowing that one of those murderers worked here… had made an oath to help others… and yet he waited around the streets at night looking for someone to butcher.

"Take one every four-to-six hours for pain," said the nurse, giving a small glass bottle of pills to Fiyero. "The injection I gave her will last a while, so take the first one with dinner."

Her foot was packed and bandaged and stuffed into a boot and the nurse left to get the discharge papers.

"Who was that?" Fiyero asked. "Why does he scare you?"

She shook her head. Why? Why couldn't she end this on her own terms?

It wasn't fair.

Fiyero had to guide her to the carriage. She buried her face in her arms while they rode back to school.

"Now, Miss Elbabe, which dorm is yours?"

She furrowed her brow.

"I saw your name on the chart," he said.

"E-L-P-H-A-B-A," she fingerspelled.

"Ah." He smiled sheepishly. "That makes more sense. Popular name, Elphaba. It's beautiful."

She was exhausted. She dropped the glamor over her skin.

"Just leave me here," she signed. "It'll be over by ten tomorrow."

"No can do," he said. "Alley-oop!"

He lifted her out of the carriage and supported her while she adjusted her crutches. He carried both of their bags. All this effort, what was he getting out of it?

Feeling as if she was made of jelly, Elphaba plunked down on the stairs just inside the building.

"Hey, we can't hang out here all day," said Fiyero.

She hissed through her teeth. He couldn't hang around here. It didn't matter for her because nothing mattered and it all led to the same hopeless result.

"Which room is yours?" he asked.

Just leave her alone to rot.

"Come on, you'll feel better in your own bed," he insisted.

She heard familiar chatter and pursed her lips.

Galinda and her friends entered from the mailroom, Galinda holding up the hat her grandmother sent her.

"I don't hate anyone that much," she said and spotted Elphaba.

"Oh, yes you do," her friends chorused.

Fiyero turned around and they all gasped. Almost like it was rehearsed.

"Hi, there," he said. "Do you know where Miss Elphaba lives?"

"Why yes!" said Galinda, tossing her hair prettily. "We are roommates as a matter-of-fact!"

"Great," he said. "Would you be so kind as to show me the way?"

"Of course. Why Miss Elphaba, what on earth happened to you?"

Elphaba just stared at her. It didn't matter. She didn't want her false sympathy. She was deluding herself that they could be friends. She bet Galinda would throw a party if she were to die.

"My driver ran over her foot," said Fiyero. "Up we go."

Elphaba sagged like a rag doll. She didn't care. Fiyero huffed sharply.

"Fine," he said and hauled her across his shoulders in a fireman's carry. "Lead the way, Miss…"

"Galinda Upland of the Upper Uplands."

"Fiyero Tiggular," he said.

The room was on the fourth floor. Fiyero was very strong, though he needed to stop for air when they reached the top floor. Elphaba started easing off his shoulders towards the railing.

"Nope!" he said, adjusting his grip and holding her firmly. "Onward!"

Galinda and the girls giggled and whispered to each other. Galinda unlocked the door.

"Please, come right in," she said.

Fiyero set Elphaba down on her bed and wiped sweat off his brow.

"It was so goodly of you to help my roommate," said Galinda. "You know, not a lot of people would have."

"Is that so?"

"Well, she is exceedingly peculiar and not all together friendly. You look like you could use a refreshment! I know the most charming little café not too far from here. OH! Miss Elphaba, have you no shame?!"

Elphaba threw her corset at the blonde, then reached for Fiyero's satchel. She just managed to free the pill bottle when Fiyero snatched them out of her hand.

"Ah-ah! That's to go with dinner," he said.

She gave him the stink eye.

"Do you… know each other?" Galinda asked.

"We just met today," he said.

"How pathetic!" Pfannee sneered. "I bet she pretended to break her foot just so she could talk to you. There are easier ways, Artichoke."

"Come now," Galinda soothed. "A pretend break isn't the most unusual way to get a guy's attention. Besides, how else could she gain sympathy?"

They twittered amongst themselves.

Elphaba sighed and looked at the clock. It was a little after 2pm. She pulled off her glasses and chucked them onto the nightstand, then rolled away from everyone.

"Hey, you should elevate that," said Fiyero. "It'll help with the swelling."

She curled up tighter.

"Oh, just leave her be," said Galinda. "She's such a bore. You just arrived at Shiz, yes? We'll give you a tour of the most swankified hang outs."

Elphaba stopped listening and closed her eyes. When she opened them, the room was filled with the golden sunlight of late afternoon. No roommate or roommate's friends to be seen. There was a blanket over her, though.

She pawed for her glasses, but couldn't find where she threw them. Her clock seemed to be missing as well. She sighed and dropped her head back into her pillow.

The door opened and Fiyero and Galinda entered the room.

"Afternoon, duchess," said Fiyero. "I brought you some dinner. I hope you like pancakes."

Galinda gave her a dirty look and flounced over to the couch to pout.

Elphaba sat up against her headboard and winced.

"Will you be leaving afterwards?" Galinda snipped.

"Well, I might hang around a while," he said with an overly polite smile. "After all, I did promise to help Miss Elphaba with her foot and it's abundantly clear no one else is going to."

Elphaba frowned at the interaction. For years and years those two seemed genetically programmed to find each other, now it was like watching two street cats posture."

"Well, it seems it'll be up to Miss Elphaba when you leave then, won't it?"

"So sorry to disappoint you," Fiyero replied.

They both laughed forcefully, ending it on a sigh.

"Syrup, Miss Elphaba?" Fiyero asked.

She nodded, mystified.

"Miss Galinda, do you have a tray or a spare towel?" Fiyero asked.

"I shall have to check, Master Tiggular," said Galinda. "How nice that you're already making yourself at home."

"Well you've created such a welcoming environment."

'Did I blow myself up into an alternate universe?' Elphaba wondered.

A towel was laid across her lap and Fiyero handed her the container of pancakes. He sat down on the couch to eat his own dinner while Galinda puttered around the room, eventually ducking into the bathroom to change into her lounge-wear. It was an outfit comfortable for sleep but also suitable in case she received unexpected company.

This was weird, but the pancakes were good. Elphaba hadn't really eaten in a while. Not that she could starve to death. Fiyero made a point to give her the pain pill as well.

When she was done, she eased to her good foot.

"Here, let me help you," said Fiyero.

"Are you going to help me undress, too?" she signed.

He blushed and swallowed hard, but quickly recovered.

"Not until the third date," he said with a charming grin and a wink.

Elphaba stared at him until he took a step back. She grabbed a crutch and her nightgown before hobbling into the bathroom. She sat on the toilet lid and changed, then opened the drawer for her hairbrush, noticing Galinda's razorblades were missing.

Strange.

It wasn't like she was planning on using them again anyway. It felt too much like what those men did to her.

She shivered and took her hair out of its braid, brushing it out before replaiting it.

After using the toilet, she scrubbed her hands up to the elbows, making the water as hot as it could go to distract herself. Even though her skin wasn't bruised, she could still feel the pain in her bones.

Maybe she could just lie down at that carriage, become a tree or a patch of grass.

She emerged from the bathroom and tossed the rest of her clothes into a pile.

"Oh, and you get mad when I leave my things everywhere?" Galinda scoffed.

Elphaba just eased herself into bed.

"Here, let me help," said Fiyero.

She doubted she could discourage him. He adjusted her pillows and propped her foot up with a cushion. Then hopped into bed next to her on top of the covers. The brass frame couldn't have been comfortable.

"Okay, where were we?" he said. "Ah, yes. So the Elephants all awoke at the first light of dawn. One said he dreamed the princess's tail had been stolen in the night. The others were appalled and thrashed him for saying such a thing. A second Elephant claimed to have the same dream and they thrashed him, too. A third Elephant then suggested it may be wise to see for themselves if this was true or not before they all ended up thrashed. So they did. They found the princess fast asleep, completely unaware that her tail was gone."

When the story ended, Elphaba rested her head on his shoulder. She wanted one more. Just one more and then he could leave her to her solitude.

"Why did he want the Elephant's tail?" Galinda asked, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Who's to say?" Fiyero said and cleared his throat. "Once long ago, when the land was new and still needed help moving along and fairies, demons, and gods walked the earth, a girl lived outside a small village in the mountains with her stepmother and stepsisters. The girl's father had died while she was still young and the stepmother was cruel to the young woman, forcing her to do all of the chores.

"The work was difficult and quickly showed on her body. Her hands were strong and calloused from weaving their clothes, tanning the hides of the animals she hunted, gathering their food, and cutting their firewood. She was scarred from the underbrush and her beatings and she tended the fire so often the embers burned her face and hands and dried out her lips and eyes, which earned her the name The Girl With the Rough Face. This was back when true names needed to be kept secret for fairies and demons alike could use them against you.

"She was dressed in the bare minimum while her stepsisters wore fineries and barely lifted a finger to help. Rough Face hardly ever received credit for her work and the few times she did it wrong, she was punished severely, leaving switch scars on her back and calves."

Elphaba winced and rubbed her own calf. Fiyero noticed and seemed to remember when the nurse noted them.

"I… sorry," he said.

She wasn't the only one in Munchkinland. It was falling out of favor as a punishment, but she knew other children at school who got the switch once in a while for this or that. For forgetting to close the barn doors, for breaking grandma's wedding dishes, for gambling their lunch money, that sort of thing.

She just tended to mess up a lot.

Fiyero slipped an arm around her and Galinda moved to sandwich in on Elphaba's other side, minding her broken foot. It couldn't have been comfortable for her to be smushed up against the shelves, but Elphaba wasn't about to complain about the affection. She was starved for it.

"Rough Face didn't complain of this work," he continued. "Because many in the village worked just as hard as she did. What she wished for was a companion for the work like everyone else had. Someone to share the burdens. To laugh with her; To complain with her when the wind refused to behave or when it seemed imps were dirtying up their home, but she also didn't mind having to hunt and gather, for she had a secret."

"What was the secret?" Galinda whispered.

Fiyero grinned.

"When the forest was at its liveliest, when the breeze blew and the animals chattered, and everything moved and breathed, her true love would appear to her. He had every day since she became alone in the world and she saved him from his loneliness as much as he saved her from hers. When they were kept apart, a bird who had faced heartbreak long ago and wore it on his chest passed their messages back and forth."

Elphaba imagined a little bird with a bright red spot on its chest whispering the messages when Rough Face's family wasn't looking and smiled.

"Ohh," Galinda sighed.

"And this continued until one day Granny Snake came down from her dwelling on the mountain claiming her youngest son was in want of a wife. Anyone from the village was welcome to try, but they had to pass one test: tell her what her son looks like."

"Let me guess," said Galinda flatly. "A snake."

"That is what the first girl said and she was turned away," said Fiyero. "Each young maiden tried and failed, for despite their claims no one had ever actually seen him and so it would seem none would be able to claim the riches and comfort of being part of Granny Snake's family. Rough Face's stepsisters eventually wanted their turn and went to Granny Snake dressed in their fanciest attire. 'His bow is made of the strongest Quoxwood!' 'His face is chiseled and strong!' 'His eyes are the bluest sapphire!' and despite their beauty and fineries, they, too, were turned away."

Elphaba smirked.

"Rough Face decided to try. Her stepmother beat her for her nerve, but Rough Face would not be swayed. She put on her nicest dress, which she had sewn for this very occasion and decorated with the treasures of the forest. Seeds, flower petals, and the tears from the trees."

"Trees don't cry!" Galinda protested.

"Oh yeah? Then how do you get amber?" Fiyero challenged.

"Then why not say 'amber'?"

"Because tears of trees is more poetic," he insisted. "Anyway, Rough Face combed her hair and wore a necklace with a single feather from the bird that carried her messages to her love. The villagers pointed and stared and laughed at her, certain that Granny Snake would force her back down the mountain or even gobble her up. Still, she held her head high for she was confident she knew the true identity of the son."

"Granny Snake welcomed her and fixed her a cup of tea. Rough Face politely waited until Granny Snake took the first sip before drinking her own tea. She accepted the food that was offered, which every person before her did not, turning their noses up at the hard crackers that seemed more fit for the animals to eat. It's rude to reject a gift of food, you see, and the crackers were actually delicious, tasting of honey.

"'Tell me child,' said Granny Snake. 'Have you seen my son?'

"'I have,' said Rough Face, keeping her head bowed low, her stomach parallel to the ground as Granny Snake's was. 'I have seen his eyes when the sun and moon are in the sky at the same time. His hair moves with the clouds. He hunts with the rainbow using lightning as his arrows. I hear his call in the wind rushing through the trees and feel his caress when I stand in the river. Since I have seen him, I have never felt alone and only need to look at nature when I begin to feel its sting."

"Granny Snake was silent for a moment, then gestured to the private garden at the base of the mountain. In there was a spring. She ordered the girl to bathe and brush her hair. The fairies of the trees would attend to her. So she left the castle and did just that. The warm bath eased her scars until they slipped away, she brushed her hair with an ebony comb until it was silky, and the fairies dressed her in robes and jewels finer than anyone in the village had ever seen.

"When she emerged from the garden few mortals have seen, a great elk was waiting and bowed before her. She climbed on and was carried through the village so all could see. The spring had washed away everything, leaving the most beautiful woman in the world. No one recognized her, least of all her family, and they all thought maybe she was a princess from some far off kingdom. It wasn't until they saw the feather of the Heartbroken Bird that they recognized her as the girl they mocked and ignored. But she paid them no mind, for she could see her love waiting for her at the top of the mountain, ready to hold her in his arms at last."

Galinda sighed dreamily and hugged her stuffed animal.

Elphaba just sighed and pursed her lips.

"What?" Fiyero asked.

She pulled away so he could see her ask,

"How come so many fairytales about ugly girls end with them turning beautiful? The man didn't fall in love with R.F. for her looks."

She supposed it was a metaphor for the outside reflecting what was within, but what if the man thought Rough Face was beautiful because of her hardships? He was a being of nature. Nature was harsh but resilient. You don't look at a tree that was struck by lightning but continued to grow and lament that it was once whole. You admire it for continuing on, even when it shouldn't have.

"Hm… you have a point there," Fiyero murmured. "So… let her go to the spring and have it take away the pain that her hardships brought, but leave what made her unique? And… maybe a line that even the otherworldly attire couldn't outshine her smile, for she could see her love waiting for her?"

Elphaba smiled and nodded.

Fiyero chuckled. "Okay. Noted."

"How did a snake have a child that looks like that?" Galinda asked.

"I dunno," said Fiyero. "She had many forms and many lovers. Stands to reason some would be weird. Fair folk live by different rules."

Elphaba thought the man sounded dreamy. Hair like clouds, one eye cool as the moon and the other warm as the sun, soft spoken as a summer breeze, gentle as a lazy river. Being the embodiment of the forest, she bet he helped her hunt and showed her the best plants to gather.

She tapped Fiyero's arm and held up one finger.

"One more?" he said. "Alright, how do you feel about spooky stories?"

"Or we could tell another romantic story," said Galinda.

"Hmm…" Fiyero clucked his tongue and looked at Elphaba. "What do you think?"

She held up the ribbon she used to tie off the end of her braid and brought it to her neck. It was a Munchkinland folktale.

Fiyero gave that half-dimpled grin, biting his lower lip to keep from making it too wide and mischievous.

"The girl with the yellow ribbon," he said. "I know it."

"That sounds nice," said Galinda.

"Okay. Once there were two best friends," he said. "Let's call them Fiyero and El."

Elphaba gave him a look.

"What? Fiyero is one of the most popular names in the Vinkus and I swear half the girls I meet are named some form of Elphaba."

She rolled her eyes and rested her head back on his shoulder.

"Now, El always wore a big yellow ribbon around her neck, rain or shine, summer or winter. Whether it matched her tunic or it didn't, she always wore that ribbon securely around her neck. Fiyero had known her since before he could remember and she always wore that yellow ribbon. As children, he hardly noticed it, but come high school Fiyero started noticing El was a girl and a real pretty one at that."

He poked Elphaba. She smiled and started to doze until Galinda screamed,

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN FELL OFF?!"

Fiyero laughed and slapped his knee.

"Where did you think the story was going?" he asked. "A girl who wears a yellow ribbon she can't take off?"

"I don't know! I thought maybe it was magic like it's what kept her a girl!" Galinda raged. "That's what I was told my great Uncle Algie had. He always wore this ugly watch and when he took it off, he had a woman's body! Thank Oz magic has advanced far enough beyond that! Can you imagine having to coordinate all your outfits around something like that? Well… I guess you know, Miss Elphaba, having to coordinate around your verdigris."

Elphaba tapped Fiyero's arm and held up a finger for one more.

"As you wish," he said. "Once there was a young fisherman…"

Elphaba fell asleep almost right away. She was roused briefly for her pain medicine and a few more bites of food, but was otherwise out like a light. She thought she heard Fiyero and Galinda arguing, but was much too tired to care.

Maybe it was working, if her bones were getting brittle. Maybe just a few more tries and she would be free of this.

After some fitful dreams filled with cruel laughter and pain, Elphaba flinched awake, raising her arms defensively. The room was dark with a little grey light filtering through the curtains. She groped around for the medication and turned on her lamp so she could see better.

Galinda was sound asleep in her bed, wearing a sleep mask and someone else was snoring. Elphaba knew that snore. She stretched up to see Fiyero pretzeled up on the small loveseat, sleeping soundly.

Why was he still here?

She spotted the pill bottle on the coffee table next to him.

Wincing softly, she eased to her good foot and used her crutches to get to the bathroom. Having her foot run over really sucked and she felt she was right to be indignant about getting nearly hit that first cycle.

Elphaba pushed some hair that had come loose back behind her ear. Just a little while longer, but she wasn't sitting around in pain for all that time.

Elphaba maneuvered around the room and picked up the bottle. Why did everything always seem so loud at this hour? Really, she shouldn't care about waking either of them. She stared at the pills pensively.

If she took a lot of them would she drift off to sleep?

Fiyero snorted softly and lifted his head.

"Hey!" he hissed. "Why are you on your feet?"

She held up the pill bottle.

"How many did you take?!"

Sweet Oz, what was his problem?! Elphaba shook her head and made a fist signaling zero. She fiddled with the bottle cap and took out one, shoving the rest at him before hobbling back to bed. She propped her crutches up and winced as they slid out of reach, crashing to the floor.

Galinda jerked and lifted her head.

"Wazzat?" she asked sleepily.

Elphaba looked at Fiyero and pressed a finger to her lips. Galinda mumbled and settled back down.

"You seriously only mean to take that one?" Fiyero whispered harshly. "You didn't take anything else?"

Elphaba rolled her eyes.

"What's your problem?" she signed. "It's a broken foot, I'm not an I-N-V-A-L-I-D."

He faced her fully.

"You were injured and it's my fault. I want to help you!"

"Then get me water!" she threw.

He looked at her empty glass and grabbed it, stalking to the sink in the kitchenette to refill it.

Elphaba swallowed back the pill and downed half the water. She looked at Galinda then back at him.

"Why did she let you stay?"

He tensed and shook his head.

"Go to sleep."

Elphaba rolled over, tugging her blanket with her. With any luck she'd sleep past ten.

Fiyero returned to the couch, but he stayed sitting up.

Rather than confront him for his weird behavior, Elphaba watched as the room grew lighter. Her alarm went off at seven, sounding out from her closet. Fiyero hurried to silence it. It was enough and Galinda sat up.

She yawned delicately and pushed her sleep mask back.

"Oh, you're still here," she muttered at Fiyero and looked at Elphaba. "How much longer is this going to last?"

"Three hours," Elphaba signed.

"Three hours? Until what?"

"Ten."

"What happens at ten?"

"Say, how about I run and get some breakfast?" Fiyero suggested, leaping to his feet. "Coffee, pastries. Whatever you like!"

"No, thank you," said Galinda coolly. "I should be getting ready for class."

Elphaba almost laughed like a loon. Galinda going to class simply to avoid Fiyero Tiggular? Oz, no one would believe it. She hardly believed it. What did he do to piss her off so much?

"Sure. I'll be back."

While he was gone, Galinda changed clothes and sent a glare at Elphaba.

"Please convince your boyfriend to sleep in his own room tonight!" Galinda sniffed and opened the tufted chest at the foot of her bed. She brought out a small scrapbook and tossed it at Elphaba. "He's yours now! Sweet Lurline, he's as peculiar as you are!"

Elphaba opened the scrapbook to see cut out pictures and articles about Fiyero pasted and decorated inside.

Wow.

Elphaba closed it and stuck it into her hair.

Galinda was still doing her makeup when Fiyero returned, but quickly packed what she needed to finish in a bag and left.

"Galinda really does not like me," Fiyero commented, giving Elphaba a cup of coffee. "I also took the liberty of picking out a pastry for you. I hope you like strawberry."

Her stomach was sour from taking the pain pill on an empty stomach. She set the pastry in her lap and took a few small sips of coffee before setting it on the bookshelf next to her snow globe of the Emerald City.

"What's the matter?" he asked. "Not to your liking?"

"Why are you trying so hard?" she asked. "It's not going to matter."

"Of course it matters!"

She jumped at his tone.

"Okay, yeah, you broke your foot and it really sucks," he said, grabbing her shoulders, "but I'm trying so hard to show you that there's a lot to live for! Stories, good food, friends! Maybe it's stupid, but life is full of those little things. I don't know exactly what you're planning but don't do it Pháidín!"

He flinched and jerked his hands back.

"Elphaba," he corrected and looked away. "Don't do it… Elphaba."

Elphaba furrowed her brow, taking in his words.

He went far away to a place I couldn't follow.

He hugged himself and exhaled shakily.

It clicked and she finally looked at him. Really looked at this man who confusified her for so long. Suddenly, everything he did made sense.

The emptiness she felt was replaced by an ache. Elphaba eased to her feet, pulled Fiyero into her arms, and held him tightly. He took a shuddering breath and buried his face in her shoulder, his fingers clutching the fabric at her back.

"I thought things were fine," he said. "I still don't know exactly why. He didn't leave a note or anything, we were just out on a date, and I was complaining about homework and… and he made a comment, 'It'll all be over by ten o'clock.'"

Elphaba felt sick.

"I thought… maybe it was his way of saying things wouldn't be so bad by tomorrow. We made love and the next morning he said he wanted to ditch. I made a stupid joke about responsibility and promised to get him notes, though it'd be tough since I usually copied his. When I brought him lunch, he was just… hanging there." His voice and shoulders shook. "We were roommates, how could I have been so stupid? How could I not have seen how much pain he was in? His diary was so… tormented.

"I've tried so hard to understand. I tried so hard to think of what I could have done differently. If I could have shown him something worth living for, if I could have made him understand how much I loved him! If I had just understood his deeper meaning and we talked about it!

"Was it me?" he asked. "Did he feel trapped with me and because of who I am he felt he had no other way out? I know not a lot of people accepted us, but… it's not like it was wrong. It wasn't even illegal. Many Kings had a Prince Consort. Couldn't we have faced it together? And didn't he trust me to let him go if he wanted to leave?"

Elphaba held him tighter, stroking his hair gently.

"There are still times I think I should join him," Fiyero whispered. "But I couldn't do that to my sister."

He felt that same darkness within himself. That was why he tried so hard. Why he decided that Dancing Through Life was the easiest option for him. To escape that pain, that fear, that loneliness. And to try and show others that there are things in life worth living for even when nothing mattered.

She pulled away slightly and he gazed up at her imploringly.

"Hold on," he said. "Please."

Okay. For him. She nodded and he exhaled softly. His eyes searched her own and the wildness in them eased.

"Why are you familiar to me?" he asked.

Elphaba pulled away a little more so she could say,

"Maybe we were long-lost sisters in a past life."

The tension snapped and Fiyero laughed, then broke down into body wracking sobs. Elphaba cried too and held him until she stepped back from the carriage careening towards her.