Chapter 26 - Heartbroken

"Wake up, sleepyhead…" said a familiar voice in a soothing tone.

I slowly stirred in my sleep and inhaled loudly, trying to rouse myself from my slumber. At last, after a couple of seconds, I stretched my arms, yawned, and blinked my eyes open. For a moment, everything was all hazy and blurry from the amount of sleep and lethargy left in my eyes, but the moment I caught sight of big, turquoise eyes and teal coloured hair, I rubbed them and propped myself up on my elbows.

"Mm…hey, Gracie…" I replied groggily.

In response to my tired voice, she let out a giggle and sat down on my bed. "You look like you've slept really well."

"How could I not?" I said, rubbing my eyes, desperate to get a clear look at Gracie's beautiful face. "Knowing that you love and care for me, it makes me feel really safe."

I pulled back the duvet, smiled warmly and scooted sideways before patting the space next to me, offering Gracie to lie down with me. At first, she stared back at me and went a little pink before whispering, "Are you sure this is appropriate?"

I could tell that she really wanted to get close to me though, so I said, "Come on, it's not going to hurt anybody, and besides, I know you want to lie down with me."

Gracie bit her lip before taking off her boots and socks, taking my hand in hers and climbing into my bed. She settled down under the covers and snuggled herself into my shoulder, which charmed me into wrapping an arm around her.

"You're right." Gracie said once she was all comfortable. "I really did want to do this." She looked up into my eyes, a look of adoration in them. "It's like you can read my mind…"

I chuckled. "I know. I suppose that's the beautiful charm of being in love."

I stroked her shoulder and cuddled her closer until she was resting her head on my chest. The gesture felt so affectionate and warm that I closed my eyes, scooted under the covers further and let a long, lethargic sigh escape my lips.

Gracie giggled, causing my body to shake a little. "Still sleepy, Luddy?"

I smiled at Gracie's adorable nickname, but my eyes still remained closed. "Mm…yeah. It's even better when I have someone cuddling up next to me."

I wrapped my other arm around her, partly wanting her to be as close to me as possible, and partly because I was cold and I wanted to feel every last molecule of Gracie's warmth and love. There we were, snuggled up in bed together in each other's arms for possibly that last time ever, and for a moment, I opened my eyes and felt my heart sink, but I soon thought that it was best to think of the here and now and the positive; my emotions were going to crumple if I thought more about the future, so I sighed, stared up at the sky and kept holding Gracie in my arms.

"Ludwig." Gracie suddenly said, which made me look down at her. "Let's just say that we both met each other when it's not inevitable that we're going to depart."

"Yeah?" I replied, curious as to where she was going with this.

"Well…what I'm thinking about is…if that were to happen, then we'd have so much fun together, and we'd come and see each other every day. It's a very invigorating thought, and I know it's not going to happen, but in order to be happy when we both go home, I'll just imagine that you're here with me. At that point, even when you won't be here, I'll still be able to visualise your appearance and body in my head. Won't that be cool? Or is that weird?"

I blushed a little and chuckled. "No, no! That's actually really creative and come to think of it, I might actually do that too. After all, I feel the same about…visualising certain people in my head. I think when I'm home, I'll still be drooling, even when the picture I'm painting is just you in my imagination."

"Aww, you're so cute!" Gracie giggled before turning round and kissing me full on the lips.

My heartbeat… I never thought that its rate would increase that fast. I took nice and slow deep breaths and let myself melt into her kiss before Gracie let go of me, then looked me in the eyes.

"When the show ends, promise me you'll never forget about me, please?" she asked, wrapping a strand of my hair around her finger.

I smiled back at the adorability of her pleading face and kissed her on the cheek. "Of course I won't…ever…"

…

I sat on the wooden log around the fire staring into space and my hands sweating with nerves. This was because Mark was standing in front of me and my campmates, ready to start the double elimination meeting Gracie had spoken of last night, and to say I was nervous about this would've been a massive understatement. If I was put under more pressure than this, I would've easily freaked out and had a full-on panic attack. This was so tense. Would Gracie and one of the others be eliminated and they would leave me all sad? Or would Jack and Lily be eliminated, leaving me and Gracie happy and relieved?

However, I was snapped out of my thoughts when Mark said, "Okay, in no particular order, I will read out who is staying and who is not."

We all nodded in affirmation and very discreetly, I slipped my hand into Gracie's.

"Now, Lily…it might be you. Jack…it's not you. Ludwig…it might be you, which means Gracie, it might be you. Right, it turns out that three of you have gained a high amount of votes, so you are all going to go head to head with each other. Lily and Gracie, you're up first, and I can announce that the contestant who has had the highest number of votes out of both of you, and is next to leave I'm A Koopa Get Me Out Of Here is…Lily."

There was a moment where we all looked over to Lily, who had her hand over her heart and was taking deep breaths, almost as if she wanted to go home, but soon, we turned our attention back to Mark.

"Now, Ludwig and Gracie, you're both going head to head, and I can announce that the contestant who has had the highest number of votes out of both of you, and is next to leave I'm A Koopa Get Me Out Of Here is…Gracie."

I knew it. I just freaking knew it. The moment Gracie's name was said, I closed my eyes and let a long sigh drag out in my head. Gracie and Lily both stood up from the log, picked up their backpacks and turned round to walk out of Camp, as that was what was instructed for them to do. No hugs or anything, just a quick goodbye and that was it, so I decided to make this count.

As soon as Gracie picked up her bag and swung it on her back, I caught her by the hand and looked her straight in the eyes. She was staring at me as if to say, "Goodbye forever…" so I frowned with sympathy and whispered, "Don't worry. I'll be alright…" and with that, I let her hand go for what felt like the last time ever and she disappeared off into the trees with Mark and Lily.

…

The past few hours dragged on so slowly, it was actually crazy. In truth, it also got quite tedious because I understood that he was trying to help me, but Jack kept on asking me the same question every twenty minutes, which was, "Are you sure you're not upset over Gracie? It seems like you were crazy in love with her."

Then I replied with, "No, I'm perfectly fine. Besides, there are plenty more lovers out there."

In all fairness, I actually wasn't upset or sad so much as…washed out and overwhelmed by feeling as if emotions didn't exist, so washed out that I decided to take a little walk to the lake by myself to see if I could reflect on my thoughts and figure out what was wrong, but it was only when Jack said, "Are you sure you don't want me to come with you? It's much better to work out your feelings when you have someone by your side." when I felt irritation build up inside me.

"No!" I exclaimed in exasperation.

Oh, good. It seemed like my anger and irritation was still on the go, but as I walked on further still, I began to feel a little bit bad. After all, it wasn't Jack's fault that Gracie was voted off, but I decided that it was too late to go back to Main Camp and say sorry because I was already nearly at the lake. Once I was there, I found the wooden bench, sank down on it and stared out at the water stretching away from me. After a few minutes, strangely, it felt like I wasn't staring at anything, sitting on anything, or feeling anything.

As I stated before, I wasn't sad or upset, I just felt…numb in every way possible. Had I died of a broken heart? Was I now a corpse or a zombie, or not part of this world anymore? Well, it all made sense because Gracie was my world, and my world had been taken away from me. Just at that moment, I felt a tiny hint of consciousness in my body, which had somehow been gained back, and it was almost as if I were slowly falling forward. The minute I felt this, I shook my head, regained my consciousness fully, and put my hands out to prevent me from falling head first into the shallow end of the water.

"Woah!" I exclaimed, bending my left leg and placing my foot in front of me, and as I did, I looked down and caught sight of my reflection in the crystal clear water.

It took a moment, and only a moment to discover how broken and numb I looked after Gracie had now been voted off. I saw that my face was super pale and my eyes were all tired and heavy, and along with that, I discovered how hurt and sad I actually was about this, and that this place I was in right now was where me and Gracie shared our first kiss. Our most beautiful kiss ever. I remembered how happy I was, how fast my heart was beating, and how, in the moment, I thought it would never end.

I let a deep sigh escape my mouth as I glanced beside where I was sitting and I envisioned Gracie sitting there smiling at me, her stunning turquoise eyes sparkling and the tips of her hair blowing in the breeze. Wow… I smiled back, opened my arms and leaned towards her, but just at the last split second, I blinked and snapped back to reality. Gracie wasn't next to me. I was sitting there, huddled with nobody but myself for company. Just then, I was knocked out of my daydream momentarily by a familiar voice shouting my name, and then the rustling of trees. It was Jack nervously walking up to me.

"Hey, Ludwig." he said. "Look, I know you said you don't want to talk right now, but-"

"No, it's fine." I interrupted, turning around and looking him in the eyes. "You're right. I…I actually do need somebody to talk to."

"I knew it." Jack smiled and sat down next to me. "So uh…Gracie's now left you, most likely forever. How do you feel about that?"

"Oh…now that I've been given the opportunity to think, I feel like my heart is made of paper, and it's nothing more than confetti." I felt a massive lump develop in my throat, and Jack put a hand on my shoulder.

"I bet there were many things you loved about her, weren't there?" he asked.

I nodded. "Oh, yes. There were many things I loved about her that I feel like I won't find in any other girl." I sighed shakily as I helplessly let my emotions slip a little bit by letting my voice crack. "Do…Do you remember the way she used to laugh when she was happy?"

"Yes I do." Jack said. "It was such a joyful laugh…"

"I know…" By now, I was gulping every five seconds and trying to fight back tears. "Do you also remember her smile? Her gorgeous eyes that used to shine, and her cute little front teeth?" I sniffled. "And…do you remember the way the tips of her hair used to swing about whenever she ran?"

"I do remember." Jack replied, getting closer to me. "They were all amazing things about her."

Tears of sadness welled up in my eyes for what seemed like the first time ever since setting foot in the jungle. "Now that Gracie's gone, I…I don't think I'll find a girl who loves me for who I am, ever. All the girls in my school hate me, so I've got no chance… I just…I feel so alone…" I buried my face in my hands and sobbed, my cries coming out in sharp exhalations of breath, and it was then when I felt Jack's arms wrap themselves around me and hold me tight.

"Hey, hey…it's okay, mate… This is just what you needed all along."

"I know." I sobbed. "Why am I so stubborn all the time?"

Jack tenderly rubbed me on the back. "It's completely normal for us to bottle up negative feelings inside us, but it's also normal to let your emotions out. You'll feel much better."

With that, I didn't wait a single moment. I shut my eyes and cried and cried until I was all light headed and out of breath.

"Are you feeling better?" Jack asked, gently stroking my shoulder.

I sniffed and attempted to wipe away the tears that had run down to my chin. "I…I think so. I just…I can't help but think about the future."

"What about the future?"

"You…You know when I talked about how every girl in my school hates me?"

"Yeah?"

"Well…" I took a deep, shaky breath. "I…I guess I'm just so used to being turned down and spoken down to by girls that I can't seem to find the confidence to talk to girls outside of school because I'm afraid they'll be exactly the same as the ones I know."

"I see." Jack looked at me empathetically. "So, you're not confident to talk to girls outside of school just in case you're treated badly and disrespected?"

I nodded. "Yes, which is why when I met Gracie for the first time, I was so shocked when she said sorry to me for hitting that car door in my face. I mean, she didn't, but it was still lovely of her." I suddenly felt a sob gather in my throat. "But…now that she's not here, I'm not going to find love again, ever."

Jack wrapped his arm around me again. "Lud, trust me. Everyone finds love someday, and I won't even be surprised if you find love in the next couple of months. I mean, haven't you taken a look at yourself?" When I gave Jack nothing but a blank look, he shook his free hand, as if dismissing everything he'd just said and carried on. "Maybe, just maybe, you and Gracie will see each other again, but…if that turns out to never happen, then let me tell you something." He held me closer and softly looked into my eyes. "Even though you may not believe me straight away, there are plenty more fish in the sea…"

I blinked, sat up straight on the bench and thought deeply about what Jack had said, and I discovered that now I had shed a few tears and let out all my emotions, I didn't feel sad anymore, in fact, I felt warm and comforted. "Yeah, there are plenty more women out there, but even so, I really hope I do see Gracie again someday."

"That's it, mate, you're getting it." Jack said, his face lighting up at the fact that I was now sporting a positive attitude and a watery smile. "I think there's only one thing we can do now."

"What's that?" I asked.

"To just…I don't know, try and take your mind off Gracie for a little bit. I know that's probably something you don't want to do, but I think it's for the best, and I don't like seeing you sad."

I blinked and looked up at him. "Actually, I hate feeling like this because…I'm sad, but I feel bad for feeling this way because it makes me think that you're thinking that I'm not taking any notice of you at least being here, but I really am, honestly."

"No.." Jack tightened his grip around me. "No, I don't think that at all. You're just broken hearted and acting like this is completely normal. Now, let's go back to Camp." He stood up, still with his arm around me and smiling warmly. "I'm right behind you, okay?"

I finally managed to crack a smile and together, we both slowly walked back to Camp.