This was originally published on Sunday, April 7, 2024, on Archive of Our Own.
Author's Note: I dedicate this to the love of my life, Amruta! Happy early birthday to you, my sweetling! I tried my best with the Marathi words being sprinkled there, so please forgive me if they are incorrect... I normally don't write anything with LaxLu since I'm a Miraxus girlie, but for my homegirl, I shall do it!
I also would like to give a shoutout to the TikTok video I saw that inspired me to write this! I love silly pick-up lines...Sue me!
It was an irrefutable fact that Porlyusica Naktode was the best in the family at making tea. This was only the case, especially since she was a scientist specializing in chemistry and herbalism, and as such, it was only natural that she would be the one to prepare a freshly brewed cup of tea for the family whenever she was not currently preoccupied with her many commitments as a doctor and healer to the local community of Magnolia.
Every morning, whenever she was not particularly busy, she would prepare a specific blend of tea depending on whatever it was that she was currently feeling the desire to have. This morning, she prepared a special blend of tea consisting of lemon, ginger, and manuka honey, and to pair with the tea, she freshly baked lavender earl grey sugar cookies to go along with it.
"Would you like me to pour milk and sugar into your tea, Makarov?" Porlyusica asked her husband, Makarov Dreyar, the latter of whom was currently engaged in solving their one and only grandchild, a grandson by the name of Laxus Dreyar's crossword puzzle.
Makarov answered her question with a wave of his hand, "Don't bother, majhi sundar priye." Beckoning her over with his finger, he waited for her to approach him and Laxus before kissing her wrists. Afterward, he placed his mouth on the back of her hand, his lips meeting her knuckles, "Just put your finger in, you're sweet enough as it is already."
"Excuse me," she barked, "I do not think this is appropriate right now." Nodding towards their young eight-year-old grandson, who dramatically acted out himself, gagging in disgust at the scene he just witnessed, she shook her head, "Makarov, you crazy fool, why do you have to say such silly stupid things to me and in front of Laxus of all things?"
Makarov shrugged, "Come on now, Porlu, I think our grandson will turn out just fine after growing up with a pair of parents who love each other dearly and two sets of grandparents who are equally happily in love."
"Still," she stammered, "you know that I dislike being placed in the center of attention, I was never one for the spotlight. It's seven thirty in the morning, must we really engage in our affections so early on in the day?" She sighed out in exasperation, shaking her head in disapproval, "You and your sweet-talking ways. I don't know why I even married you in the first place, let alone agree to be the mother and grandmother of our family."
"Oh, Porlu, your words are like honey being poured onto my heart," he teased, placing a hand over his chest where his heart would reside.
Porlyusica rolled her eyes in return, "Please, Makarov, keep on having your flirtations coming my way, why don't you? I do not need to eat or drink anything for breakfast, I suppose your sweet talk is more than enough for me to be nourished and sustained for the whole entire day, wouldn't you say so?"
"Aaji, Aajoba, does this gross lovey-dovey stuff always happen when you are married," Laxus asked the elderly couple, staring at the two of them who seemed to be living in their own little world where it's just the two of them and time stops.
"Goodness, no," Porlyusica answered, "I would have remained a maiden if that were the case. Sure, he flirts with me often, but not all the time…Thank the stars for that!"
Makarov interjected, "I disagree with you on that, majhi sundar priye. When one is so fortunate to be in a love story like ours, you can't help but want to say nothing but pretty poetry to your beloved."
"Ew," Laxus stuck his tongue out, "I am never going to grow up to be like you and Baba."
"You say this now, but give it at least ten years, and you'll be changing your mind and your ways, majha godula."
"Never ever in a bazillion gazillion years!"
Makarov chuckled, "Oh, Laxu, we shall see about that, isn't that right, Porlu?"
"Whatever," was all that Porlyusica said as she returned to preparing breakfast for Laxus's parents, Mr. Ivan Dreyar and Mrs. Gayatri Joshi-Dreyar, who would soon be coming over for brunch later.
Twenty Years Later
"There you go, Laxus," Lucy Heartfilia chirped with a warm and friendly grin, handing a porcelain teacup to Laxus she poured with tea only minutes ago, "I know nobody can compete with Porlyusica Aaji, but I must say we Heartfilias are pretty great with serving tea to our honored guests."
"Thank you," he acknowledged, "I appreciate all the effort you and your great-grandmother went through for being hospitable to me."
"Nonsense," Lucy disagreed, "I am glad you are here, and so is Lahari Ma. I hope the mint tea is to your liking. I've added honey and red dates when brewing the mint leaves for the tea. But I can always pour you some milk and sugar if you'd like."
Laxus shook his head, "No, I think it's just fine how it is."
"Are you sure, majha mulaga," Lahari Heartfilia questioned, "mint tea is an acquired taste, and it can cause a shock for someone such as yourself who's never had it before."
"Yes, I am sure." He handed the teacup to Lucy, who raised an eyebrow. "Here, you take a sip for me, that way, it will be sweet."
"Huh," Lucy tilted her head in confusion, "I don't understand."
"Just take a sip of it for me, that way, whatever I have will now become sweet."
"Maybe he's doing it to avoid food poisoning," Lahari suggested to her great-granddaughter.
"No, no," Laxus argued, "I assure you that's not why I told you to do this. You've got a sweet pair of lips and a sugary smile, that is all the sweetener I need."
Realization dawned upon Lucy after a few minutes, and once it did, her large, bright brown eyes widened, and with a stammer, she said, "I…I can't believe this! You have some nerve, Laxus Dreyar." Giving him a non-threatening glare, she took a sip of his teacup, her pink lip gloss staining the top of the teacup before handing it back to him. "There, I've taken a sip, now, are you happy?"
"Very much so, thank you.'"
Lahari chuckled, "I see that you Dreyar men are all the same."
He only shrugged at her remark, "Perhaps, Lahari Ma. But, I must admit, you do, in fact, have an incredibly beautiful great-granddaughter, everything she touches with her pretty fingers automatically becomes magically sweet. They say it's the littlest things in life that make life so much sweeter, and they're right, she makes every little thing become something special."
Groaning, Lucy told him, "Be quiet, you! We only invited you over for some light refreshments, not for you to flirt your way into my family."
Laxus smirked, "I suppose it's working then…It was my intention to ensure that all of the Heartfilias give me their blessings before I make you my family."
"Whatever, I'm not letting you have things your way that easily."
Holding his teacup up in the air, out in a salute, he gave her a cheeky grin, flashing her his pearly white teeth in which his sharp canines poked out, "I very much look forward to seeing where this leads between the two of us."
"Well, Lahari Madam Ji, it looks like we can get rid of Lucy once and for all! By marrying our precious little princess off to the Dreyars, we can finally have peace and quiet in the lands once again," called out a voice, revealing to be Aquarius, a blue-haired, blue-eyed woman in a mermaid attire who was walking arm and arm with Layla Heartfilia, the current Lady of House of Heartfilia and Lucy's mother.
"Now, now, Aquarius," Layla playfully scolded, "I don't like what you're saying about these two youngsters…Laxus can always live with us if that's what he wants. For now, why don't we see where things take these two?"
"I bet a billion rose cowrie coins that by the end of the upcoming spring, we will no longer have to worry about them being entangled in a fling, but instead, there will be a ring on her finger, and they will bring us news of a great great grandchild by fall," Lahari wagered, wagging her eyebrows, "I've missed holding a babe, it's been years...Twenty-eight years, to be more precise," she gestured towards Lucy, who was the only descendant and heiress to the Heattfilia family, their fortune, and everything else that came with the Heartfilia family name.
"Lahari Ma, you can't be serious about this," Lucy cried out, staring at her great-grandmother in disbelief.
Layla giggled softly, and with a glint of mischief in her eyes, she told her grandmother, "You're on, Aaji! I say we give them six months and they will be married just like that! Now, Aquarius, we must call my mother at once. I'm sure that even in the Far East, Lafisa Heartfilia will come to us once she hears the good news, and once she does come and visit us, I'll ask her about the whereabouts of the Pineapple Tiara, it would look absolutely divine on our Lucy for her wedding day!"
"No way," Lucy covered her face with her hands, slapping herself, "I can't believe you lot."
Laxus chuckled, "You know, Lucy...Honey attracts bees due to its sweet scent and taste...And, like a bee, I am very much drawn to the nectar that is your personality."
Sighing in defeat, Lucy rolled her eyes before sticking her tongue out at him, "If you're going to sweet talk me for the rest of our lives, at least spice things up by having a variability of pickup lines."
"Duly noted, Mrs. Dreyar."
"I'm keeping my surname, there is no way I am giving that up," she insisted.
"How about hyphenating it?"
"Alright," she relented, "I will make it Heartfilia-Dreyar."
"Consider it a done deal, majhe kararmbal."
Story Notes
Majhi sundar priye: My beautiful dear Aaji: Grandma Aajoba: Grandpa Majha godula: My sweet Majha mulaga: My son Majhe karambal: My starfruit
Author's Notes: Poor Lucy, she's all caught up in her family affairs especially when it comes to them betting on her love life. I don't know what or how people address their great grandparents, I've never met mine but I suppose that calling them "Mother" isn't such a weird thing to do. I named Lucy's great-grandmother, Lahari to be on theme with the L-names that Lucy and Layla have matching together. I honestly think Lucy could have some Desi heritage...Lucy is giving me South Asian and North African mixed ancestry!
Also, I know that not everyone ships Porlyusica with Makarov but I do! I love making Porly as Laxus's grandmother in all of my stories! I'm a sucker for childhood friends into sweethearts. Even after being married to Makarov for decades, Porlyusica is still not used to her husband's romantic endeavors and she's still an embarrassed flustered mess as a consequence! Of course, Laxus would naturally learn from the best and be a hopeless romantic lovestruck flirt as well!