CHAPTER 33: CRY

As much as Mewtwo tried, in the following days he had a difficult time believing what was in front of him. There was a female Mewtwo, staying here, with him. He supposed that made them roommates…the thought made him grimace. Though he enjoyed company, he'd always been better off living alone. Oh well…if the impossible fact that he was not the only one of his kind could change, then so could he, to suit it.

Of course, Neva and Mewtwo didn't see as much of each other as they should have, under the circumstances. Having usually slept during the night, Neva's sleep schedule didn't seem to be a wavering one, which went the same for Mewtwo's nocturnal one. So, it was perhaps only a few hours of the day that the two saw one another, which was not something Mewtwo at least, liked. After all, Neva seemed to be an interesting person, and one that he should, by all rights, know. But what was he to do about it? He could not simply go up to her and say that he wished her to become a creature of the night, like him. The very idea was preposterous! Neva had every right, to choose her own way to live, to make her own destiny. He could not get in the way of that…

Various ideas of what he should do, what would be appropriate, rushed through his head, but none seemed right. He then settled for the one that continually seemed to course through his thoughts. It was very unlike him really, but what other option did he have? He would ask her, and hope she might be interested.

Walking into her room slowly, he couldn't help but stare at Neva's sleeping form.

Sprawled out on her side, every inch of her exposed, he felt his cheeks flush. While she wasn't anywhere near as beautiful as her sister had been, she was still incredibly pretty of creature. Pale, unblemished skin, rich red tail, curves in the right places, and softer features than he, her feminine beauty was evident by far. The graceful way she held herself when awake, the way her ruby eyes seemed to glow with an inner flame, was something quite attractive of her.

Any physical feelings for her Mewtwo might have had though were pushed aside quickly, the thought of them mortifying to him. The very idea of feeling something so primal, as animal like as want or lust, was appalling to him. He had always told himself that he didn't deserve to partake in such activates, because of what he was, a clone. And besides, he felt himself above those things. After all, those were supposed to be natural feelings, needs, and he certainly wasn't normal.

His thoughts of such things though vanished as he heard a soft whimper coming from Neva. Her face showed that of extreme fear and sorrow, and he watched as she began to toss and turn against the sheets, tears beginning to mar her face. Walking over quickly he sat on the side of her bed, reaching out to her quickly. Taking her shoulders, he gently he shook her, trying to get her awake. Despite his efforts and calls though, he did not seem to be succeeding.

(Neva wake up!)

(…Morgan…Morgan come back…please!) She began to whisper frantically, evidently not hearing him.

Mewtwo's brows knitted together as he understood what she was dreaming, what her nightmare was of. Her sister, who had died to protect her. He could sense immense pain from her, grief that nearly stung. While he had met, and taken to Morgan, in such a short time, she had been Neva's constant companion, her sister. Part of him felt like he could sympathize with her. For he too, had lost someone…Amber…

Since meeting the child, Kirya, he had slowly remembered much of his childhood friend. Whether or not it was his increasing power that had worn away the memory block in his mind, or simply that his heart had made him recall her, he didn't know. The very thought of her sometimes made him wish to weep. But tears for her would do no good now…they would not bring her back. Besides, not only were they no use, but she had told him not to cry. Who was he, to go against the wishes of his dearest companion, the little girl who he had loved as a child?

Like Morgan, she was a life that should never have been taken from the world. A source of light in all the darkness. She should have lived…but in a cruel twist of fate, it had been he who had survived, the bastard clone of Mew. It went the same for Neva, though there was nothing to blame on her, nothing cruel about Morgan's death, save that she had left behind her sister who seemed so lonely, so lost without her. They were shadows, clones, creatures that lived at the expense of someone else's life. Someone that they were close to…and would always miss…

(Awaken Neva!) Mewtwo shouted, growing frustrated. Damnation!

At this, the female clone jerked awake, looking around the room frantically. As her gaze focused on Mewtwo though she seemed to relax, though looked confused at his presence. What was he doing here? Had he heard her having a nightmare, and came to bring her out of it? How kind…how sweet of him… Inside she smiled wearily, glad of his being there. She didn't know him all that well, but he seemed to genuinely care. He had come to Morgan's and her rescue after all…even if he had failed to save her sister… She felt tears stinging her eyes and quickly rubbed them away. Mewtwo though silently caught her paws, gazing at her with a sense of calm. She should not hold them back…

(There's nothing wrong with crying for her Neva. She was your sister…)

(But-)

He placed a finger on her lips, and actions that surprised them both. He didn't comment on it however, and was glad it had the same effect as it would have on a physically speaking creature. Good…

(No buts. I don't expect you will allow me to comfort you but…you should grieve. You didn't do so properly at Mt. Quena…)

She turned away from him quickly, shutting her eyes tightly. Crying was something she did want to do, yes, but…not in front of him. Soon though her throat constricted to the point where it was painful, her eyes, even closed, flooding to point where silent tears streaked down her face. Damn it, damn it, damn it!

Neva felt strong arms go around her after a time, and leaned into Mewtwo's chest slowly, her form rack with sobs. He sister was gone…she was alone… She'd always been there for her, had always watched over her… And now, she wasn't with her anymore. She'd never see her sister again! Inside she ached, feeling empty save the emotions of immense sorrow and grief fill her. Morgan, her sister, her best friend…was gone forever…

Mewtwo himself ached for her. He didn't want to see her in pain…if he could take that pain from her he would. Even though he was not a very physical creature, quite the contrary, he felt himself holding her to him gently, rubbing her back to soothe her. Some would say he never touched, never embraced others, because he wanted to save his strength for battling. However, this was not true. He had simply never seen the need of it, and didn't believe he could comfort anyone with hugs or small touches to the flesh. Still, he could think of no other way to comfort Neva now. To simply rest a hand on her shoulder seemed far too little…

After nearly a half an hour Neva pulled away softly, wondering out loud, (Did you just come here to do that? Or…?)

Mewtwo shook his head, (No… But it seems an inappropriate thing to ask right now. Maybe some other time-)

As he stood Neva quickly interrupted him, her eyes shining with protest, (No, please… I'd like to hear it.)

Mewtwo sighed, suddenly unsure of himself, something rare of him, (I was merely wondering if you would like to go to a concert. It starts in a few hours, but if you'd like to be left alone for now, I would understand-)

The female shook her head, (No, I'll go. I need something to take my mind off things. What exactly…would we do till it starts?)

Mewtwo smiled at her agreement, answering, (We could talk.)

She cocked her head, (Okay! Sounds good to me.)

(We'll leave in a few minutes then.)

With that, Mewtwo left, leaving Neva to quickly wash up and eat. He had already had a bite to food some time earlier… Vaguely he recalled as Neva came out of the bathroom, looking nice and refreshed, how very soft skin had been under his fingers. The very thought made flame course through him, the desire to touch her again becoming quite tempting. Disgusted with himself, he pushed the thought aside, the emotions Neva had begun to invoke in him quite disturbing in his views. And she wasn't even aware that she was doing anything to him…

Silently they left, and Mewtwo watched in amusement the expression of wonder on Neva's face as she looked over the city with a bird's eye view. The towering skyscrapers, glinting black and silver in the moonlight, the lush parks, the color of flame… The pokémon met along the way greeted them cautiously, some fearing, others happy to see Mewtwo's return. On occasion, he acted as a healer, treating wounds and mending broken bones with his abilities and time. Neva, having not known any of this, gave Mewtwo a look of newfound respect and friendly-ness. As their destination came into sight, Neva couldn't help but stare. It was an amphitheater, the stone, bowlike structure made to increase sound and hold large audiences. Landing on the "rim" Neva gave a delighted smile.

Thus, the two talked for a great deal of time, enjoying one another's company immensely. After hesitating many a time, Neva reluctantly told Mewtwo more fully about her past. Of her reaction when awakening into the world, created alongside her sister, of how there had been a device planted in her head to control her, which they had gotten out… She however, kept from him the fact that with this inability to control her actions, that she had been forced to murder many innocent pokémon. The very thought made her wince greatly.

Mewtwo however, did not see this, thinking over what he'd learned. They were both shadows, both brought into the world by science. He had known she'd been created, a clone, but it still surprised him. How fitting really, that they had met…

As the music started below, Mewtwo cringed at the fact that it was one of the bands.

Loud, sharp on the ears, and with somewhat inappropriate lyrics, an odd sense of horror filled him. Of all the concerts Neva's first would be… Looking over at her, he felt his eyes widen in shock. She was…enjoying it! Having her eyes closed, there was a slight smile on her face, her head bobbing alike to what he'd seen so many humans do. He smiled, finding the sight amusing. He was glad though, that she was enjoying herself… Yes, seeing her smile made it worth it.

He blinked in surprise. 'Seeing her smile made it worth it'…? What was he thinking? That thought was terribly unlike him! A romancer's words! Good god…how could such a thing even cross his mind? What was wrong with him? Yes, he would admit it…he felt physically attracted to her. But that did not explain that statement.

He sighed, gazing at her. As he'd noticed the night before, her whitish flesh seemed to glow of dawn-kissed silver in the moonlight, her red tail deeply dark as blood. Her eyes, when open, glowed with shards holy light in their ruby depths, tinted with violet. Beautiful, yet with an edge. While her personality was light and caring, he also knew the stubborn and angry side of her as well. And the heart that knew how to weep…unlike his. The female feline in front of him had something he lacked…a mix of childlike innocence and adulthood.

After the concert was over, the two quickly flew back to the place that, Mewtwo at least, called home. Neva thanked him for the invite, retiring to her room. Mewtwo had to wonder, seeing the way she slipped so fluidly into her room, if she had bones. He knew it, of course, to be impossible for her to lack them, but as a cat creature, she had a flexibility that could contrast that. She'd be bendy in bed…

He stopped walking, startled by the last thought. He hissed under his breath, mentally slapping himself. How dare he think such a thing? How inappropriate! She was his roommate, his friend for god's sake! Murmuring a curse, he put up a mental block on the images beginning to course through his head, scowling. Disgusting…how could his mind think of such things?

Despite the desire he had to slam the door to his room shut, he stopped himself, for Neva's sake. She was probably sleeping at the moment…and he didn't want to interrupt her. Using telekinesis, he put the scattered maps and books back in order, the tiny objects on the shelf above his bed straight. He'd always felt that the human's obsession with their possessions was not a part of him, as were their speech. But still, to live comfortably, he needed a few things…

Making his bed, he sat down on it, not feeling very tired in the least. After all, it was night…

Picking out a book from his collection, he gazed at the bedside table for a moment. In a second, the candles there lit on fire, giving a soft, comfortable glow to the room. He took a deep breath, enjoying the scents that rose up to his nose. Citrus, vanilla, and a soft, salty scent called "Ocean Breeze". Mixing together, they smelled like the candy he'd only once tried. They were soothing to him…

Leaning back against his pillows comfortably, he flipped open the cover of the book, beginning to read the long passages there. He could read psychically yes, but he'd always enjoyed reading manually more so. Not only was it a good way to kill time, but the imaginative images seemed…more potent, that way. While mostly, the book told of epic battles, there were also the more philosophical thoughts and emotions from the main character, which was telling the story. In first person, things seemed far more clarified and real…but less omniscient, something that he enjoyed more so.

As the night went onwards, coming into the early hours of the morning, he did not cease reading. The candles were beginning to come to the end of their wicks, only being pools of white, evening orange-pink, and sea grass green. At the end of the story, he knew, the warrior would be united with his wife and son. Love, physical and not, would be told of. But Mewtwo also realized that he would never experience the first. However, he'd learnt to accept that fact.

After all, it was not as though he'd ever fantasized, or even desired such a thing. It was an activity, he'd strictly considered off limits to him. He was a shadow, undeserving of such true pleasure, of heavenly joy. Besides, he didn't need a mate, or children.

But maybe, somewhere in the back or his mind…he wanted them… Mewtwo fell asleep then, too tired to despise or dismiss the thought…and who's to say, that he would have?