CHAPTER 38: AURORA OF REALIZED EMOTIONS
Neva, in the weeks that soon passed, could not bring herself to teleport back to Mewtwo's. She had left behind too many harsh words and emotions to do so…and as a result, she highly doubted she'd be welcomed back. She was afraid actually. Fearful of what might occur if she tried.
Would Mewtwo reject her return, say that she had left on her own accord, and now had to find her own way in life because of it? If she had known in the least bit what Mewtwo felt for her, his caring and intrigue, and his basic desire to be in her company, she would have known that was impossible. But seeing as how she didn't, her return seemed as equally unlikely…
For leaving so abruptly, with such pain and anger, was not the only thing, which made her ache. She missed Mewtwo…but he had only been looking out for her because of Morgan, she continued to tell herself. Their entire relationship had been a lie. For how could they be friends, when Mewtwo had only been harboring her because he felt it was his duty for someone else? His caring had not been out of friendship, but obligation. Her-her own emotions had meant nothing to him…save if she was thinking suicidal, which had never been the case. It-it was a good thing she had left really. Now she was…free.
But that independence did not make her happy. Certainly, the sights she saw, of beautiful snow- capped mountain ranges; of vast forests with trees like skyscrapers; of pure oceans, which awed her; comforted her…but inside she still despaired. More often than not, she cried herself to sleep at night. More than ever, it sunk in that she was alone. Without Mewtwo, there was no one else there for her. As misguided as his company was, it was still company. And she found that, despite the few friends she made amongst the wild pokémon, they disappeared after a time, going on with their own lives. Certainly, they felt bad about leaving the strange pokémon to her sorrows…but they could not dwell on her…for fall was passing.
Neva, already going hungry most of the time, knew she would never survive the harsh freezing of winter. Perhaps she could go to the tropics when the time came. But for now, she refused to leave the colder northern area of the region. She was dead set on seeing the beautiful aurora borealis…it was the one thing that seemed to bring her joy, thinking about it. The natural phenomenon that was like a mixed rainbow, the lights flowing and majestic. She simply had to see it before…whatever came next in her life. Maybe, seeing it, her last tie to Mewtwo, that reminded her of him, could be severed…and her pain would cease.
Many times, during the trip north, she wished Morgan could be with her. How she missed her sister, standing beside her, laughing and conversing as only sisters could. There were so many things, that the indigo clone would have loved to see. The shinning, snakelike rivers, with crystal like pebbles along the rocky bed; the beautiful falling snow, their clouds in various shapes; the vast caverns that had more amazing sights than the entire outside world in whole…nothing could compare. The world was so beautiful, so full of life…and Morgan had never been able to see it. She'd been stuck in a dreary building her entire life, save the ten minutes during their escape.
Despite the complications she had aroused in her death, Neva still longed for her terribly.
It finally came to where Neva sat upon a rocky cliff, looking out over the sprawling pine forest below, an ocean of dark green. Above her, the clear deep royal blue sky was littered with silvery stars, the moon bright and full among them. There, flickering like a ribbon of green-yellow, red, and bright blue, was the northern lights. The aurora that she had sought out for…months now? It was in the middle of winter now, the chilled air making her shiver in her tan, full-body cloak.
The hood hung useless behind her cat like head.
The sight made her submerge in various memories, thoughts, and emotions, sorting through them for countless truths. This is what she had come here for…but what now? Where would she go from here? She sighed, deciding not to think on that right then. There were other matters…matters of the heart, which needed clarifying.
It came down to one simple thing. She wanted Mewtwo to be with her to see this beautiful sight. Not Morgan…but the violet skinned, amethyst-eyed feline who could so enrage her…or make her truly happy. Somehow, what she felt for him had gone above attraction and friendliness…to something else entirely. Something that made her ache with sorrow at being away from him, but rejoiced in feeling his touch, hearing his kind words…seeing the tenderness in his eyes for her…
…She loved him…
She didn't feel as shocked as she would have thought, realizing this. Perhaps she'd always cared for him in such a way, since they'd first met. Since she'd felt the desire to keep him out of harm, by telling him to run from her… This was, she supposed, why she'd been so terribly upset to learn that Mewtwo was caring for her on another's request. Nonetheless though, something had to be done about it. She couldn't just keep this to herself, locked up in her heart. To do so would kill her…
She had to go back, she realized suddenly. She had to go back and face him… There was no way she could leave things as they were between them. Such anger, such pain…that had to be corrected. And she had an obligation, to tell him of what she was feeling. Whether he felt the same way didn't truly matter…but unless she got this out in the open, she would find no closure. And that was unacceptable…
Thus, she stood up, and teleported back to the vast home of the clone. Back…to her home… At least, she hoped it would still be.