CHAPTER 39: RECOVERY

Much had changed at Mewtwo's in the months that had passed in her absence, she would soon discover. Mewtwo, despite how he tried to live as he normally would, when alone, found himself doing things only half-heartedly, as though Neva had taken more than herself with her, in her sudden departure. His will seemed severally shaken, despite how much he tried to deny that things weren't okay with him. While he didn't want to admit it…he dreadfully missed not having Neva around. She had become something dearer to him than a friend, in the time she'd been with him… And no matter what he did, he found himself aching for her return.

But as the weeks passed, and it became apparent she was not coming back, he began to sink into despair. The only other member of his kind, the female he felt so attracted to in so many ways, was gone. He vaguely pondered the idea of going after her, but knew it would be futile. If Neva didn't want to be found, she wouldn't be… So, he was alone, again, and unlike the other times he'd been "abandoned", this especially hurt him…because he knew it was all his fault. Somehow, he'd managed to drive Neva…his sweet Neva, away from him. In his sadness, he didn't even notice the fact that he'd used an affectionate, possessive term for her. His mind wouldn't even allow him to grasp what it meant.

He quickly found he couldn't sleep, not knowing where Neva was, how she was doing. So what if she too, had killed? It did not make him any less fond of her! The idea of her being hurt…or dead, as horrible as the thought was, was unbearable. He even began to use the long unneeded medication to fight insomnia, and soon for depression too, when it took him. But they did not seem to help. And, inevitably, he stopped caring. For there was no one there for him…everyone he had ever cared about had left him. They did not seem to care about what happened to him…had they ever? Sorrow turned to bitterness, and that bitterness led to nearly suicidal thoughts. However, he'd never go through with something like that…but seeing as how he didn't care to get out of bed, to eat, to drink, neglecting his needs, he might as well have been killing himself.

So when Neva stepped into the dark, trashed home (for Mewtwo had on more than one occasion destroyed various items in his fury at himself) she couldn't have been more shocked. An aura of sorrow, anger, and despair clung to the air around her, making it difficult for an empathic person like herself to breathe. Stepping carefully over a broken chair, she made her way down the unlit hall, searching for her companion. A bit of fear laced through her, seeing all of this. Had Mewtwo gone mad in her absence? Was it safe for her, to be here? She silently shook herself free of any doubts, knowing that she had to discover what had occurred when she was gone. If the male she loved had gone insane…then surely, she should take care of him? He deserved that…

Turning the corner into Mewtwo's room, the door hanging open, she peered inside, her eyes not quite adjusting at first to the pitch black inside. As they did though, the saw various bottles on the floor, the tiny white pills inside them spilled unto the carpet. The bedside table had been tipped over, the candles lying useless beside it. Then, there, on the extremely messy bed, lying under an assortment of blankets and sheets, was Mewtwo. He seemed to be asleep, though fitfully. She quickly walked over to him without thinking, without hesitating, as he began to give tiny groans of protest at whatever his dreams might be showing him.

Neva quickly sat on the bed, taking Mewtwo by a shoulder and gently shaking him, whispering, (Mewtwo…Mewtwo open your eyes. Mewtwo!)

She watched as his eyelids slowly opened, their gaze seeming glassy. For one, their hawk like stare did not make her freeze, but was more like a child's eyes once she looked into them. A child from tragedy, so lost and…alone. After a moment, he blinked, looking at her in uncertainty.

(Neva…? Are you real…?) He asked quietly, unsure that what he was seeing wasn't some figment from a dream. He had hallucinated more than once…

She nodded, absently stroking his face, trying to calm the warring emotions she felt flowing from his aura, down, (Yes. What else would I be?)

Mewtwo did not answer, merely lifting a paw to touch her hand gently, the one that currently rested on his cheek. Neva was almost startled at his weak touch then. She quickly pulled her fingers out of his light grasp, pressing them against his forehead. He didn't have a fever…but he seemed ill. She suddenly stood up, much to the violet clone's dismay. If she left, went through the door, he was certain she wouldn't return. She had done so in so many nightmares…

(Don't worry. I'll be right back.) She told him gently, walking across the hall to the bathroom to get a wet washcloth, perhaps to clean him up a bit.

She always says that, Mewtwo mused, closing his eyes again, but she never comes back, he finished. However, this time was different. He soon felt a cool, wet material against his face, dabbing gently. Opening his eyes again, he looked at her in confusion. Was this dream different from the others, more torturous to him when she finally departed? Or was it simply, that at last, Neva had really come back? Was this…reality?

Neva smiled, picking up on the last thought, (I'm not some figment of your imagination Mewtwo. I'm one hundred percent real.) She stated, continuing to pat his face with the soaking cloth.

It seemed to finally sink into Mewtwo, but he had no energy to smile. Instead, he questioned her.

(I do not understand…why have you returned? Why…?)

Neva's smile faded as the reason once again came into her mind, but decided not to reveal it just yet, (Can't I visit a dear friend?)

Mewtwo felt his heart sink, (Is that all this is? A visitation?)

Neva sighed, (Perhaps…but I plan to stay, for a time. At least until you're better.)

In spite of how horrid that one statement managed to make him feel, since it basically told him she would be leaving again, he felt a flicker of hope glow inside of him. At least, for a time, he wouldn't be alone. Neva was here, once again, with him. How he wished, that she would never leave… He fell back asleep with that thought in his head…

During the next few days, Neva's continued to care for Mewtwo until he got his strength back. She was horrified to learn that he hadn't been eating, and by the way he guzzled down the water she'd given him, she guessed that he had also had dehydrated himself. Promptly, she threw away the medication he'd been using, seeing that it hadn't helped him any. Still, she had to wonder: why?

Why had Mewtwo been doing this to himself, taking anti-insomnia and anti-depression pills? Why suddenly fall into a state of sorrow so dark and deep, that he refused to take care of himself? Was it because…of her? Was it because she'd left? The thought left her with a weight of guilt so heavy she sometimes thought she would break because of it. But seeing Mewtwo returning to health managed to lighten the load…

However, once Mewtwo was restored to full strength, walking around, even smiling at her ever once in a while, she didn't know what to do. She certainly couldn't sleep next to him, watching over him anymore, that was certain. But what were her options? She'd planned to tell him that she loved him, make amends…and neither of those things had been done. The topic of the fight, which had split them apart, hadn't even come up yet!

Neither of them wished to dwell on such things though. Whenever it appeared that one wished to speak of it, the other quickly changed the subject. Mostly, all they could hope to talk about were Neva's travels, though she kept out the part about her own despair and romantic feelings for him.

Mewtwo in turn was reluctant to speak about why he'd been so uncaring when concerning his life when she'd come back to find him in ruins. It came to the point many times, where they ran out of things to say, and fell into an uncomfortable silence, as they cleaned up the mess Mewtwo had made in Neva's exodus.