Growing up as we did in a sleepy boring little steel town outside Cleveland Ohio, my sister and I had more than a few crushes and infatuations along the way, as do all teenagers I suppose. They got messy sometimes then too.
Betty was three years my senior and tended to be the more emotional, overly dramatic one of the two of us, which is why it came as no surprise that even her crushes took things a little too far sometimes (like the one music teacher she fell for after singing a duet with him).
She and I even tangled once over the same boy – which was sort of stupid on my part, since he was her age, not mine, and really, more her match. But that didn't matter in my fourteen-year-old fantasies; he was still cute enough that I still would've spilled that grape juice on her pretty outfit again and again the night they were leaving for their first date (even though her retaliation was telling said boy I hadn't even gone through puberty yet! A total lie by the way, but not the point – you just don't talk about those things to BOYS, especially not about your own sister! Betty and I didn't speak for weeks after that incident).
But I also remember having several very good BOY friends as well as GIRL friends growing up – you know, the platonic kind (on both counts, just to be clear; I might be a hetero SHE/HER who prefers men, but I am enlightened enough to know that could be a question). Sometimes the chemistry isn't there beyond those platonic friendships – or at least not by both parties. Sometimes people work better as friends. Sometimes friends choose to test those limits to see if they can be something more, and maybe once in a while it works out for them but I think more often than not, if it was truly meant to be, the chemistry would already be evident and forcing it won't work.
These are all complex matters of the heart, mind and soul. There needs to be just that right blend of friendship, attraction, and emotional connection for romance to truly bloom into something lasting. It took me a great number of years to become aware of this, so I certainly did NOT expect my sometimes bumbling and usually naive teenage son to understand these things at such a young age. I'm finally in those 'middle age' years and I can only just now appreciate what a SOULMATE truly is... so I guess it seems my mother was right after all: with age comes wisdom, and with teens comes stupidity. (My mother could be rather blunt sometimes.)
Hormones. They wreak havoc in a teenage brain! Some worse than others. They cloud judgment and are possibly one of the most formidable forces in science and nature.
For boys, I honestly think it does something to their brain that disallows them to think very clearly with anything other than their... uh... below the belt zone. Something about boys and puberty only lets them see things skin deep most of the time too, instead of getting to learn what's beneath the surface. At least for a little while.
And girls? We're no better. We can be quite vindictive, ferocious and fickle (maybe that's a byproduct of all the misogyny we're exposed to, but it would take some science-y people much more learned than me to know for sure). We can like one boy one day and then hate him sometimes the same day, moving on to someone new by the next.
Jealousy is an angry bitch who loves chaos and makes us act like lunatics sometimes (like spilling grape juice on your sister on purpose?).
(On a side note, I find it a bit ironic how jealousy is often referred to as a green-eyed monster, especially as I'm about to tell you the next part of this story... I've heard that expression originated from Shakespeare, but maybe it was actually named after some-ONE in particular? Someone with GREEN EYES perhaps...?)
Knowing all the above, I can understand the battle lines that get drawn amid all these raging hormones flying around. I can even completely understand why some boys get quite jaded and others get incredibly confused about things.
Like my son and his best friend Noah Puckerman, for example.
These two have been thick as thieves for what seems like forever, and tend to fall in line with whatever the other deems cool or of life and death importance at any given time – and whichever girl is 'the hottest' on any given day (not that I condone 'hotness' as an acceptable descriptor, but I've learned to choose my battles with them sometimes over their dialect and vernacular. I've come to accept that for their age, their words and ability to communicate properly can be rather limited and don't necessarily reflect their real feelings).
It just confounded me then, when suddenly a talented, tiny, five-foot-tall, hundred pounds soaking wet girl became this tour de force between them, dividing them like a deep fissure in an earthquake.
Noah, as I've previously mentioned, always fancied himself quite the ladies' man. To my knowledge he'd never had a steady girl to that point and was perfectly content about it... and yet, when I'd seen him interacting together with Finn and Quinn, I'd notice little tell-tale signs that my surrogate son might just want what my actual son already had, while my actual son seemed to be coming to terms with wanting something my surrogate son apparently wouldn't approve of under any circumstances. Or so I thought...
You'll remember the first time I met Rachel Berry and the lunch date I invited her to at our house. If only I'd known what a domino effect of emotional turmoil and chaos would ensue from that point forward, I might've reconsidered. But when I look back on those events now, I still think they were necessary; the baby steps that helped push my son forward from his stagnant indecisiveness into clarity (even if it disrupted our lives for most of the rest of the year).
The inciting incident which kicked off a dreadful chain of events went something like this:
Rachel came for lunch as expected, showing up with her banana bread in hand at precisely 11:50 AM, because apparently this girl has a real OCD about punctuality (a trait which I still commend her on to this day).
Following a delightful lunch filled with easy conversation (mostly Rachel's life story), by 1 PM, she and Finn had relocated to the garage and the singing and drumming commenced.
I was invited to be their captive audience for a while and WHAT A TREAT! They ran through Faithfully once more (at my request, of course) but then Rachel insisted they show off Finn's first brilliant contribution to Glee club, Don't Stop Believin' – which I was thrilled to find equally sensational – and my god, the chemistry between them was just explosive! I still couldn't believe my Finny could sing like that, and the pipes on that little girl were just so phenomenal... but putting the two together? WOW. Better than chocolate and peanut butter!
Anyway, Rachel sort of gently convinced (forced) Finn to do the simple choreography for both songs, but the garage space was limited and a little cluttered. My not-so-graceful son had trouble navigating his own feet, tripping over himself and bouncing into her more times than I'm sure his dignity preferred; yet the giggles they both produced told me neither one minded very much. Other than Rachel commenting that his missteps were not acceptable competition-level blunders, I'd say she rather enjoyed my son's clumsiness immensely – especially when he used her to catch his balance.
And oh my goodness, they were quite touchy-feely with one another! She always had to put a hand on his forearm or he had to touch her shoulder, or they had to poke each other's bellies or bump hips against the other... It was such a stark contrast seeing how he behaved around Rachel compared to how he was around Quinn. (Really, I couldn't understand what the hell Finny was still so confused about at that point when the signs were all SO OBVIOUS!)
Then there was this comfortable, affectionate banter happening between them. A playfulness that just warmed my heart so much. They seemed to be able to talk about virtually anything with ease, and at times would even finish the other's sentences... it was almost a little spooky, to be honest.
Well, after a little while I had to go out. On my rare days off I always had a few errands to run and a little light shopping to do, so I left them to their music.
I swear I wasn't gone for much more than an hour and a half tops but I returned to a nightmare!
When I pulled into the driveway, I noticed Noah's mother's Ford Explorer parked next to Quinn Fabray's silver Volvo. (Yes... uh-oh was MY first thought, too.)
On closer inspection, Rachel was in a heap of tears on my front porch steps with Quinn Fabray pointing and screaming in her face, while my son and his best friend were rolling around in a vicious wrestling match on the front lawn.
Oh, and did I mention, they were both covered in white paint? But I'll get to that.
They'd been in such a state of heightened hysterics, none of them even noticed I'd returned home right away – until Rachel did, and I saw the panic twist across her face.
"BOYS! FINN, NOAH! Neutral corners NOW! What the hell is going on here?!"
As the tangles of sticky teens – by then coated in blood, bruises, leaves and latex paint – separated from one another and sat up looking at me dumbfounded and innocent as the day they were born, Rachel was the first to leap up to try to mediate the situation and temper my reaction.
"Mrs Hudson, I'm so so sorry for this... it's all just a huge misunderstanding, you see. Um... as you know, Finn and I were rehearsing in the garage, and Finn's phone kept ringing, but he wouldn't answer it since he didn't want to disrupt our creative flow–"
Quinn rolled her eyes and scoffed. "Oh, is that what you're calling it? Like how you were creatively flowing all over my BOYFRIEND with your hideous giant MAN HANDS?"
"Quinn, back off her, okay? I told you already, we were just rehearsing!" Finn was now on his feet, picking leaves from his paint-covered hair. Oh god, if I thought my Maytag suffered after the paintball thing, my poor bathroom was about to be a DISASTER! I'd need a plumber and a hazmat crew to come in if I allowed him inside my house!
But then Rachel stuck her little chin out with the hint of an appreciative small smile and persevered. "Right, as I was saying... we were in the middle of singing a song from Grease to practice our dancing to You're the One that I Want, when Quinn arrived unexpectedly, and found us– admittedly in what could be perceived as a slightly compromising position if one was unaware of the choreography requirements for that number – and she–"
"Choreography? You were practically dry-humping MY boyfriend, wrapped around him like a tree like the little BABOON you are!"
"Dammit Quinn, will you knock it off! Don't call her names like that! You're acting like a real BITCH right now!" Finn was practically seething at that point – another first for him in my eyes, both because of his level of anger pointed at anyone else in my presence, and because he was defending Rachel against his girlfriend. I'd never seen him so worked up like this before, certainly not over a girl.
Rachel gasped and I was about to say something about him cursing, but then Noah got involved – which meant things went from bad to worse in a hurry.
"Dude, don't talk to Q like that! She's supposed to be your girlfriend. Can you blame her for being a little worked up right now when you're practically bumping uglies with another chick? Don't be such a giant douchebag!"
Then, of course, Finn tackled Noah football-style, and the wrestling match resumed.
"ENOUGH ALREADY, BOTH OF YOU! Noah! Finn! Go in the backyard shed and get the garden hose! You two need to hose off this mess you're both covered in because NEITHER of you is setting one TOE back inside my house covered in all that paint and whatnot... And I swear to god I'll call Lima FD and get their water tanker over here to do it right if you two don't stop this fighting right now! I'm serious. You know I'm good friends with Chief Haggerty and I promise you, a real fire hose will be no joke!"
My goodness, what was going on with these two? They've had a few fights before over the years, usually over who won a bike race or which superhero was the best... they've even drawn fists on each other a couple of times, but those were little boy fights over little boy issues like movies or video games or sports. I got the sense they were dancing around in some dangerous territory now over far more grown-up matters.
One of those more grown-up matters – the one with blonde hair standing akimbo five feet away from me – was the next one I turned my fury on.
"And Quinn, you need to stop saying such terrible things to Rachel. She is a guest in my home and I won't have it! You're from a good, upstanding family, and from what I know, you've been raised far better than this. Insulting someone this way is just ugly, unbecoming behavior for a young lady... Now, I'll give you a choice. You can take Finn and Noah and go oversee the paint removal process of these two numbskulls over here in the backyard, and maybe be useful by ensuring there's no more fighting, OR you can leave. But what you WON'T do is further attack a guest in my home."
Quinn appeared to be using some sort of superhuman strength not to roll her eyes (her very GREEN eyes) at me before she finally conceded and apologized – words that seemed like they had to be forced from her mouth like a desperate person jumping from a high rise on fire. "I'm sorry Mrs Hudson. I'll just go help Finn and Puck clean up."
That still didn't stop her from firing one last set of daggers from those green eyes of hers over her shoulder at Rachel on her way toward the backyard with Finn in tow. I heard her mutter to both of them not to touch her with the mess they were covered in.
The small brunette shrunk into herself and looked as pitiful as a lost kitten. "Thank you, Mrs Hudson, for defending me... although I'm not sure it's completely warranted. While Finn and I were truthfully only rehearsing for Glee, I may not deserve your kind act of altruism if only you knew..."
I walked over to Rachel, noting the ocean of unshed tears hanging in her thick dark eyelashes, and took her cheeks in my hands, offering her a warm smile.
"Oh sweetheart, what makes you think I don't know? I was your age once too. I remember those feelings."
She smiled the most glorious pearly smile for just a moment until it suddenly faltered and her face melted into a worried frown. "Is it that obvious? You must think I'm a shameful harlot, a common Jezebel... I-I shouldn't act as such a temptress, especially not when I know the reality of the situation."
This was another one of those 'mom nudging' moments that I'm certain Finn would have had a catastrophic meltdown over if he'd known what I was up to... but once again, I pleaded mom perks and decided to roll with it.
"Honey, I certainly do NOT think any of those things about you." I sighed and sat down on the step next to her, patting her knee reassuringly. "Truth be told, just between us, I think you might just be the best thing for my son... one day. Of course, right now he's still got some growing up to do, and some feelings to sort out... but I know my son. And I know what I see when he looks at you. Just be patient with him, sweetheart."
She flushed a lovely shade of pink and bowed her head down in embarrassment, hiding a shy smile. "I just... I'm not sure how to control it sometimes, you know, these feelings. I'm... I'm not even sure if Finn thinks of me in any way other than a good friend or duet partner. He's told me how much he likes my singing... but that's just singing. We're teammates and we do work so well together... But while I'm more than aware of his girlfriend, still, I can't help the way I feel about him. I know it's wrong, particularly because he's already spoken for, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't want more than anything for them to break up. However, I don't want him to be unhappy or hurt either, and I especially don't want to be the cause of his pain."
"Rachel, dear, I wouldn't worry too much about it. My Finny, he's not like most boys. He's a little slow on the uptake sometimes, but he's a deep thinker and a deep feeler. Once his heart latches onto something, it stays with him a long, long time. Maybe your timing isn't quite right at this very moment, but I don't think you're that far off the mark.
"And you know, I had a similar situation when I was just a little older than you. The boy I fell head over heels for was dating someone else, someone who was clearly not worthy of all the wonderful things he had to offer and who didn't truly appreciate him. But like Finn, he just needed a little time to gain some perspective, find some enlightenment."
"Really? Whatever happened with you and that boy?"
"Oh, the only thing that I knew was ever meant to happen. I married him, of course. And sweetheart, I can promise you, he would have adored you." Well, then the dam broke loose on those pretty doe eyes of hers and I hugged her close. "Like I said, just be patient. I know it isn't easy, but in the end, I think it'll be worth it."
"I appreciate your insight Mrs Hudson, and I sincerely hope your estimations are correct... I'm just not sure what to do about my own feelings in the meantime."
"Well... In the meantime, I think you just need to live your life. There are plenty of boys whom I'm sure would be falling at your feet if you gave them the time of day..." I KNEW I was about to play with fire, but I couldn't help myself, the words just came rolling right out. "Take Noah for example. He's in dire need of a nice girl to tame his wild side a little bit. And I happen to know he loves music as much as Finn does. Sometimes he comes and plays guitar while Finn plays drums. I wouldn't go so far as to call them a garage band, but–"
"Noah is musically inclined? That's very interesting... but Mrs Hudson–"
"Carole."
"Carole. I'm quite certain I'm the wrong, erm.. type for Noah. We've known each other for years and we do go to the same synagogue but... He seems to prefer tall sexy cheerleaders and I'm just–"
"You're just beautiful dear. With your long lovely hair and big gorgeous brown eyes, never mind your adorable little figure. You are a very pretty girl, Rachel."
She flushed cherry red at my compliments and I could see in her face she really didn't believe them. "Not compared to those other girls I'm not. And boys have certainly never thought so either."
"Oh but you truly are just as pretty as those other girls – prettier even. I've seen them, and yes, they are rather bold sometimes. You don't seem to flaunt it the way those other girls might – and may I add, I commend you for that. But you must realize sweetie, boys might be guided by their uh... hormones... a lot of times, but in the end, they want substance over flash. Fireworks fade, after all, but the stars shine forever. I can see the star-shine qualities in you, and I suspect my son does too.
"Now, Noah? He might be a little tougher nut to crack, but I happen to know his mother would love to see him at least become friends with a nice Jewish girl. I'm not saying you should fall for Noah or date him, but there's nothing wrong with making friends and having new experiences... especially while you need something to quell your own impulses."
Rachel seemed pensive for a moment and a small smile stretched over her face. "You mean like, a distraction?"
"Well... yes. Exactly that. It might help you keep your emotions a little more in check if you had other things to take your mind off them. And hey, maybe you could even get Noah to join your glee club! He too needs some healthier activities to keep himself out of trouble!"
Look, I realize you might think I was overstepping there, and you may even wonder why I'd suggest pairing Noah and Rachel when it's so clear to me that Finn and Rachel were meant to be so much more. Something we moms seem to understand inherently, though, is REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY. If you want your kid to do something – especially something you know in your heart is the best thing for them – you need them to think it was their own idea! And what better way to get Finn unstuck from this Quinn Fabray rut he was stuck in than for him to have a little competition?
Yes yes yes – I KNEW it was a dangerous game that could backfire. But if I came straight out and told Finn that Quinn wasn't right for him, he'd resent me for interfering and then dig his heels in further, thereby prolonging this blonde nightmare.
In truth, I didn't know for certain what it would take for Finn to finally get the kick in the pants he needed, but I suspected that even a hint of Rachel being unavailable to him was a nudge in the right direction! I'd only seen them interact together twice and already I knew, that little girl looked at him like he'd hung the moon. My guess was she was even more lovestruck when NOT in my presence. So why wouldn't he be content to just keep on enjoying her attentions AND date the head cheerleader too? BOYS and HORMONES! Terrible combination! I just needed to give that little motherly nudge and hope it was enough.
"I'll take that advice under consideration. Thank you... and thank you for the lovely compliments."
Rachel decided it was probably time for her to leave, especially since it seemed Quinn wasn't. So she called for her dads to come get her. While we waited she clued me in on the rest of the chaos I came home to in my front yard.
"Well, when Quinn arrived, she and Finn started falling into a bit of a disagreement. I excused myself to the restroom for a moment, debating whether I should go home, but Finn caught me and whispered for me to just give him a few minutes to sort things with her. He said he wanted me to stay though, so I gave them some privacy.
"When I returned about five minutes later, Noah had already arrived. I guess he'd been driving past and just stopped. Noah sort of defended Quinn's behavior – much like you saw here for yourself – and he and Finn got into a shoving match in the garage. They ended up knocked into that large wire rack shelving unit and one of the paint cans fell and hit Finn and the lid popped off, splashing paint on both of them. Oh, um, I'm sorry to say, your garage is in a bit of disarray as well. Anyway, from there, the fight just spilled out to the front lawn and, well, you saw the rest."
Good grief! All this commotion because of Quinn Fabray? By that point, I was sure my mom-radar was spot-on regarding Noah's feelings for Quinn. But I had no evidence of it and certainly couldn't say anything to Finn along those lines without some sort of proof. Finn was very hard-headed sometimes, and would never believe his best friend would even consider being anything but as loyal to him as he was to Noah. They've been like brothers for too long for Finn to think anything less.
Perhaps Noah really was only trying to be a friend to Quinn – although I did have to wonder how Miss Fabray regarded Noah Puckerman when Finn wasn't around.
One thing I knew for certain: this bizarre quadrangle was going to get worse before it got better. I felt it in my gut.