Summary: This is a day that never dawned, a night that never came to be. Or is it? Perhaps it's a moment that only two people remember, long past all the music and cheering. A moment that lets a certain Big Robin see more than he had expected.
Note: Written in a spur of the moment I had amongst some quiet after two consecutive hikes at Grand Teton National Park, and also spurred by the barely audible snores of my dad and mom sleeping the resulting exhaustion off in their shared queen bed nearby.
There's something about the quiet air, with no music, no other kinda noise, that just reminds me the world can be a big place. And that it's okay to take time for me and my own life.
It's why a theme for this chapter didn't exactly come easy. The only songs I could eventually find that fit were (1) the track titled The Sixth Station from my childhood Studio Ghibli movie, Spirited Away; and (2) the music box version of Dango Daikazoku from Clannad.
So here we go.
Lost Day 8: Quiet Birthday
For the first official birthday party at Chaldea, Robin half-expected it to be big. After all, when the good ol' Doctor Roman got the idea to surprise their only Master in celebrating her birthday, everyone seemed to be into it.
Mash, Da Vinci, d'Eon, Marie, Astolfo — hell, even that Frenchie of an executioner and the usually stern and nameless red Archer (that only Vy could call "Shirou" and get away with it) were all running here and there in the white halls of Chaldea, stringing up streamers and balloons while making sure the star of the show was completely unaware of all of it.
(Not that it was that hard of a task to keep Vy out of the loop. There was something about how her sleep resembled that of the dead at times with her mana exhaustion, and Robin knew he didn't want to know the reason why that was.)
(No matter how much he worried about it. Even if the Doc started the daily nap system as a band-aid, no one was supposed to sleep like a corpse and wake up like it was normal.)
That was why he wasn't surprised at how the party inevitably left Vy speechless once everyone sprang it on her when she woke up. The deafening cries of "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" shouted in unison by everyone present definitely drove it home too. (He could've sworn he tried to say it at the same time as everyone else if not for the combined volume of the others effectively drowning him out. Darn voice.) Because of course the little sparrow slept so deeply, she wouldn't notice the whole thing brewing up until it was staring her right in the face. It was just the kind of thing that would throw her off guard.
But just like everyone else, he wasn't expecting her to burst into tears right then and there. Letting out a shocked "Waaaaaah" too.
All the happy cheers could've screeched to a halt like a record scratch on one of those old modern record players once the first sob echoed in the room, Vy wiping at her face while hastily turning away for some semblance of composure. But the blaring music still stops once Mash runs over to hug their little Master first, apologies and platitudes characteristic of the Demi-Servant obvious past the muffled voice she gets out and a mouthful of Chaldea Mystic Code fabric. Boudica, Mata Hari, Tamamo Cat, Medea, d'Eon, Ereshkigal, and Marie are quick to follow Mash's example, subsequently joined by the boisterous gold Rider that is Achilles, the blue Saber version of Arturia, and the red Archer EMIYA. So by the time the good Doc and Da Vinci are rounding out the growing thrall of people making up Vy's closest circle trying to comfort her, multiple hands are reaching out for the girl's flushed face as she continues to cry past her steadily emerging smile.
It was such a ridiculous looking scene, with so many Servants (and the occasional human, if Mash and Dr. Roman had anything at all to say about it) crowding around an already small Master, but from his own little corner of the Dining Hall, Robin decided that it wasn't so bad. Vy definitely needed the attention, if her initial reaction to the party was any indicator, and judging by the Director's ash-fallen face when trying to explain what was going on, they — as in all of Chaldea — would have to do something about it.
Even if Robin wasn't sure if he should be in the circle. If he could even have a place in that circle. Watching it from afar seemed enough for a rogue like him. A rogue with barely any present to offer the lucky lady.
He wasn't expecting the lucky lady herself to slip out from her own party hours later. The Antarctic winds roar rather incessantly against the window he's chosen to lean against to avoid the crowd screaming Happy Birthday for the umpteenth time, but the glass is barely cold when he absently blows at it. The blown air merely creates a tiny steam cloud against the glass to contrast the constant outside snow, so it takes him way too long to notice an equally tiny finger raise itself up to start writing something into a new cloud of steam nearby.
Can I sit with you?
The loopy handwriting makes his head turn before he realizes he's doing it, and the small tug of warm chakra at his chest adds to his shock at seeing an apparently mute Vy suddenly standing a few feet away from him, bending over to meet his gaze at sitting height with a shy smile. She makes a soft Muu noise while innocently pointing at her fading steam question with the finger she used to write it, and Robin gulps.
He doesn't know why his voice doesn't work when he nods, but Vy doesn't seem to notice, letting out a happy hum before taking the empty side of the windowsill that was originally his perch to sit on herself. She rocks back and forth between her hands once she's seated, a quiet sigh of relief leaving her lips along the way before she eventually "quiets down" — or at least, she settles down without actively making a noise to show that.
It's hard to miss the green ribbon from his Valentine's gift earlier in the year still lingering in her hair. It was even tied in a cute little bow to hold back some of her growing long brown locks too, in a half-up-ponytail kind of style. Robin's gaze ends up being drawn to it (and how it slopes past her shoulders to accentuate the curves of her collarbone that the Chaldean Standard uniform showed off rather infamously) before he shakes it away.
Had to be professional, even when on break.
"…What're ya doing here, Vy?" Robin asked the question softly, tentatively, only belatedly thanking his instincts for letting him remember to call his Master by name first and not title. It's not as hard as how it was in the beginning — back in America as a Rogue Servant and then being resummoned as a Chaldean Servant soon after, really, with how much "world-saving" had time fly — having to correct himself in how he referred to the young woman. Even if it was worrying seeing the currently mute young woman sitting next to him, if her previous noises and steam question were anything to go off of. It's why the concern that bleeds through his voice sounds genuine even to his own ears when he asks, "Shouldn't you go enjoy your birthday party with the others?"
Why are you hanging around me? When my hands are too dirty to hold yours?
Robin made sure to bite down on the inside of his cheek to prevent himself from saying it. Vy didn't need to know any of that.
She didn't need to know the real "him" beyond the fairy tales that made her love the hero named "Robin Hood" in the first place.
A few seconds of silence pass between them. Vy nods when she eventually meets his eye, pointing at her throat with a weak Ah noise (that he unconsciously somehow understands) before turning her head to the window. She blows a cloud of air onto the glass to make some more steam (and cover up her original question, he notes), raising her finger to write on the new canvas instead.
Got too loud. Vy pauses after writing that last word, glancing at him before turning back to the window, the tips of her ears past her hair flushing a light pink. Not used to it. Wanted to find you.
"…Me?" Robin repeats, disbelief making him lower his hands from the previous urge of tucking them into his pockets to hide how his fingers were curling into tight fists from tension. The windowsill felt a bit warmer compared to before, making his throat dry despite all odds as he eventually said, "Why me?"
Vy gives him a silent look past the fatigue that all but spells out the Seriously?, on her lips, a matching pout slowly forming on her cheeks pressing the issue once she turned back to the window and blew another steam cloud to write.
You help me feel safe, was what was written when Vy finally pulled her hand back to let him read, a quiet Uuu on her part reinforcing the message. And I didn't see you at the party. Wanted to check on you.
"Vy…" Her name comes out breathy on his tongue, and she looks at him. Robin gulps before rubbing the back of his head. "...You're too nice for your own good."
Vy puffs her cheeks even more in response, big brown eyes flashing with discontent as she turns back to the window. Is it so wrong to look for you? She eventually writes to him in another steam cloud, letters a bit loopier than before from how hastily she presses her finger against the window glass. Just because it's my birthday, it doesn't mean I don't want to see you.
Ah. There it is. That characteristic honesty, the stubbornness that easily disarms a bowman like him. Even when she's quiet from her own fatigue, she would still search for him, wouldn't she? Maybe that Caster version of the King of Heroes could walk in at any moment, just to point his finger and laugh at how red Robin should've been turning at that very moment. He turns his head away instead, loosely muttering, "...You really don't know how to cut your losses, Master," under his breath before turning back to his Master. "You should be back in the main Dining Hall just to celebrate your birthday, Vy. You need the break more than me. Besides." He forces as much mirth as he can into his next smile. "I'll be okay. Crowds just aren't for me. With one Heroic Spirit here, another Heroic Spirit there, it's just way too stuffy."
Yet to his surprise, Vy drops her pout for a more subdued frown as she shakes her head. She blows against the window again, writing out a smaller, It's… too loud for me too, to match what she had said earlier. A tiny stretch of a pause is all she gives herself before she eventually scribbles to him, Never… never had that kind of party ever before. Dunno how to feel about it.
"...Never?" Robin can't help the incredulousness seeping into his voice when reading the fading words, glancing at Vy and finding her expression shockingly unreadable despite how clear her big brown eyes look past her glasses. There's a visible glare that emerges in the lenses of her glasses once he focuses on her, and then he hears a soft Ugu. It was enough to make him lose some of the reins keeping his tongue down. "Vy, didn't you celebrate with your family before this?"
Once he sees her flinch, Robin immediately regrets bringing it up, because even he knows how much Vy's family means to her. All her belongings just reinforce it, from the metal medallion still nestled deep in her skirt pocket and the powered-off smartphone sitting in her room to match the few picture frames she carried with her from before Chaldea. But hearing her Ugu earlier — it spurred something. An old feeling from when he was still alive, about spending time with a druid father for a brief few years before he left too. Those times were few and far inbetween, but at least the druid tried to bring some joy into his life. Before his death.
Vy should've had the same thing, from before being a Master of Chaldea.
From before being forced to shoulder the entire world's fate.
For her to not celebrate her own birthday—
After a moment of silence that ran far too deep for his liking, Vy still turned to him with what he could only call a subdued smile, shrugging her shoulders. She puffs another cloud against the window behind them, eventually writing out, I did celebrate. Just… not this big. Parties were just mom and dad. Big Bro. Grandma and grandpa. A quiet hah leaves her with her next exhale, and she shrugs again when she looks at him. The whites of her teeth make her next smile appear more pained once she puffs another steam cloud onto the window and writes, It's… it's weird to know there's so many more people than them who would want to celebrate my birthday. She pauses, visibly considering something, before eventually making another steam cloud to finish with, I'm used to my big bro having more friends than me.
I'm used to being selfless and forgotten, suddenly surged through the back of his mind from their bond (which had been previously silent up until now), more thought and feeling than spoken word thanks to Vy's lack of voice. After I went about hurting my family in the first place.
Hearing it makes all the saliva dry out from the back of Robin's mouth. Because coming from Vy, who always tried to extend her hand to others to help them, who always tried to smile for the Doc and Mash—
Vy catches the look that's on his face soon after that, and her free hand flails around in the air in response, eyes widening behind her glasses to match. "W-Wait—!" Vy coughs once she gets that first word out of her mouth, making Robin worried for a completely different reason now because of how her cheeks pale from her fumbling. Then, to his shock, she forgoes the window entirely to reach for her skirt pockets. The first whiteboard marker (green, he notes) nearly slips out of her fingers once she grabs it, but a few wah wah noises later, she catches it mid-fall to match the whiteboard being pulled out from the back of her waist belt.
Robin tries not to stare once Vy uses her teeth to pull the cap off the marker to start writing to him, hands shaking the entire time. Instead he turns his head away in a skeletal semblance of giving her privacy, barely taking in the sound of her marker gliding across the board with the quietest squeak squeak noises for extra courtesy. It didn't feel right to look at what she was thinking, not after their bond had spilled over in such a way he didn't know if Vy wanted to tell him her deepest feelings or not. The least he could do was just wait for her to finish what she wanted to say.
And, sure enough, a tiny finger eventually pokes at his exposed shoulder past his sleeve, gentle yet prodding. Silently asking for his attention, and once he turns his head to look over, Vy is raising her pink-backed whiteboard up for him to read.
Just because it's weird so many people wanna celebrate my birthday, it doesn't make it all a bad thing. I just wanted to slip out a little, before my battery got spent on all the cheering and partying. And, and I thought of seeing you. Being with you helps me rest, and I wanted to rest with you.
Robin blinks, reading the message once, then twice, just to remind himself that the words were real. Vy peers up at him past the board as he does, her big brown eyes hesitant but shining in that awestruck, starry kind of way that makes him think back to America, when he first looked at her. Even back then, with no green hair ribbon bow and instead having dirt for coverage, she was radiant with how much she beamed and clapped her hands just from seeing him. And now, in the middle of the hallway with no one else around, she was holding up her whiteboard to just say, "I thought of seeing you."
She could've been spending this time of the day with anyone, and he literally could think of absolutely anyone else, but she was still sitting with him at this damn cold windowsill, confessing that she wanted to rest with just him.
Robin eventually tore his gaze away from the whiteboard to meet Vy's eyes, looking into those stars with a hint of regret seeping into his voice. "…I'm sorry, Vy, but I didn't prepare a present for you, just this smile you're seeing right now." A smile that, to his own cheeks, felt coarse and very much faked. Nothing really "birthday" worthy for such an honest girl sitting in front of him. It's why he eventually works around the growing lump in his throat to ask, "You really sure about spending the rest of the day with me?"
Because she deserves better. Because she deserves so much better.
Vy still blinks before making a face, and she proceeds to turn the whiteboard back to herself. Her sleeve comes up to wipe at the surface not a second later, smearing the Chaldean Standard white fabric with green ink (that almost makes her look like a kid with how determined her eyebrows furrow against her forehead) before pressing her marker tip back to the board. The marker's end wiggles past the top of the whiteboard to match the movement of Vy's right hand, unconsciously drawing Robin's eye along the way, but just as soon as he starts thinking of a quiet melody to match the marker's wiggles, Vy puts it down.
Even when slightly smeared, the whiteboard surface when turned back to him is hard to ignore.
No. It was something he couldn't ignore.
Compared to everything else? A day with my childhood friend and my favorite Archer is the best present I could ever ask for.
Robin stares at the message for what feels like a long time. It could've been a few seconds. A minute, or ten, or more, even. But when those tiny fingers, smeared with green ink, poke at his shoulder again before slipping down to clutch at his green bow sleeve, Robin looks into Vy's starry brown eyes and smiles.
Not like a rogue. Not like a thief who didn't deserve the "Robin Hood" name.
This smile feels like one from a human this time.
A human who could actually hold her hand and keep it safe.
"Alright," he said finally, reaching over with one hand to loosely tuck it around Vy's shoulders, pulling her close to his side once he has a firm enough grip. Vy makes a tiny noise once their shoulders bump together, something along the lines of another Muu, but she leans into him once he wordlessly offers the support, closing her eyes once her glasses crookedly slide down the bridge of her nose. "You win. If that's what the lucky lady wants, this humble Archer will oblige."
Vy hums quietly against his chest once she presses her cheek there, something along the lines of a nonverbal Thankie mumbled right above his heart, and Robin hums back.
Welkie, he thinks.
"So, my little sparrow. What do you feel like doing? I just so happen to have a portable tablet from Da Vinci that has Netflix, Crunchyroll, and a few other streaming services up and running…"
Because if everyone screaming Happy Birthday and throwing cake and streamers around was too much, a movie afternoon seemed more up her alley. His alley too, so long as she was nestled by his side.
It was something a nameless Archer knew he could never regret with her so close by.
(Extra Note, 9/13/2024): At the time of this chapter's publishing, it's my dad's 64th birthday and approximately 11 days before my own 26th. And said dad is snoring away in a queen bed while hugging mom, on the eve of the third-to-last day of our shared road trip vacation.
Happy birthday, daddy. I love you and mom, very very much.
I hope I'm making you proud.