Pansy's view
It's passed midnight when I enter our dormitory. My heart nearly stops when I hear Sofia's voice. Fortunately, she is just murmuring something in sleep. But Elara is not asleep. She just stares at me deadly and don't say a word. At the sight of her gaze, my throat becomes completely dry. I feel a cold sweat forming on my brow as I walk towards my bed, trying to avoid her piercing eyes. The silence in the room is suffocating, and I can't shake the feeling of being judged and abandoned. – Sorry, did I wake you up? – I break the silence in a trembling voice.
- Yes – she answers coldly. – Where were you?
- I was at the old greenhouse.
- With whom?
- What is this? An interrogation?
- Who?
- The Ravenclaw boy. but I didn't get hurt or something, so it's not a big deal.
- I am glad that you are so calm, but me and Sofia were not.
- I am a teenager, not a baby.
- For fuck's sake, Pansy, you were missing for hours. Sofia cried herself to sleep, because of you, and this is not a big deal.
- I will apologize to her tomorrow.
- Good night – she whispers angrily.
- Elara, I am sorry, but…
- I said good night.
She turns to the other direction. I change into my pyjamas and try to sleep, but dreams don't come. So, I just laying there in complete silence. I stare at the ceiling, the darkness pressing in from all sides. The silence in the room feels heavier than usual, broken only by the occasional creak of the floorboards. My mind keeps replaying the conversation, over and over. Why is like this? Okay, I was out at night for a long time. But what about it? Sometimes she did that too. Once we even covered her, when she was supposed to help McGonagall, but instead she sneaked out with her boyfriend.
I roll over, trying to find a more comfortable position, but the tension in my muscles only tightens. The clock ticks loudly on the nightstand, each second stretching into what feels like an eternity.
The thoughts keep circling back to that conversation. It's like I'm stuck in a loop, unable to escape the sting of words unspoken and feelings left unsaid. My breathing quickens as I remember how she had always been so unpredictable, yet I could never stay mad at her. But tonight feels different. There's a distance now, a chasm that I can't seem to bridge no matter how hard I try. And Sofia? She seems even more distant, as if we were separated by the entire world.
Yet I can't think of anyone else but her. Her face when she had a fight with me – it keeps playing over in my mind, twisting my insides util I feel sick. How did I let it get this bad? The first kiss…I didn't even want it. But the second was more than a stupid way to distract myself from the mess I've made, but now I am confused. My hands grip the blanket, trying to stop the tears. Despite all that happened today, Sofia's everything to me. Facing her tomorrow seems impossible, but the thought of her never speaking to me again? That is worse. Can she ever forgive? Would I even deserve it?
The darkness outside seems to seep into my very bones, and I wonder if I'll ever escape this feeling of abandonment. I glance at the clock again, hoping for some semblance of relief as the minutes tick by. The familiar ache in my chest doesn't fade, though, and sleep remains stubbornly out of reach.
Eventually, exhaustion drags me down, and the dormitory melts away into the soft, golden light of a summer afternoon. I'm standing in the garden behind my parent's villa, the air warm and sweet with the scent of blooming flowers. We must be no more than eight years old. Sofia is beside me, her laughter echoing through the trees as we chase each other through the maze of tall grass. I'm a kid again, and everything feels so carefree. She grabs my hand, pulling me toward the old oak tree we used to climber, hir fingers intertwined with mine in that familiar, comforting way.
- Come on, Pansy! – she calls, her eyes sparkling with joy, and I follow her without a question. We scramble up the branches, finding our secret spot in the leaves, where the world disappears, and it's just us. Up there, hidden from everything, we promised to always be together.
After that, we just sit there in silence for hours and watch the world below us. The view from up here is breath-taking – an endless sea of green, with the villa nestled in the distance like a cozy dream.
The memory is so vivid, so real, I can almost feel the rough bark beneath my fingers. But as I reach for her again, the scene begins to blur, slipping away. I wake with a start, my chest tight, the warmth of that moment gone – just like everything else.
The darkened dormitory feels alien now, its shadows more oppressive than comforting. The echoes of our laughter seem like distant voices, fading with each passing second. I sit up, my heart pounding, and the emptiness around me feels even more profound. I blink into the darkness, trying to grasp the remnants of the dream, but they slip through my fingers like grains of sand. The innocence of our childhood feels so far away now, and I am left alone with the fragments of a past that seems both too distant and too painful to fully hold.
I pull the blanket tighter around me, seeking comfort in its fabric, but it does little to soothe the emptiness gnawing at my insides. My mind races, replaying the dream over and over, trying to hold on to those fleeting moments with Sofia. I know I can't go back to that sunlit garden, but the longing to return to those simpler times is almost unbearable. I stare at the dark ceiling, the outlines of the room merging into one indistinguishable blur. The reality of the dormitory feels stark against the vibrant hues of my memory.
I only slept for a couple of hours, but I can't go back to sleep. The dim light filtering through the narrow window casts long shadows across the cold, bare walls. I glanced to the side; Sofia's bed was already empty, her blankets tossed aside in a way that made my chest tighten. Elara was still asleep, but the tension in the room hung thick in the air, making it hard to breathe. I slipped out of bed quietly, careful not to wake her, and grabbed my clothes without making a sound. My hands shook as I dressed, the silence between us filled with the echoes of Sofia's anger and Elara's judgment.
I stagger toward the bathroom, the echoes of my footsteps amplifying the emptiness around me. As I splash cold water on my face, I catch a glimpse of myself in the cracked mirror—a reflection that seems almost foreign. I wonder if I'll ever feel whole again or if this emptiness is all that remains. The memory of that kiss, the anger, and the solitude weigh heavily on my chest.
When I finally made my way down to breakfast, I saw them both already seated, their expressions unreadable. I sat down without a word, the clinking of our cutlery the only sound between us. Each bite I took felt like it could break the silence, but none of us dared to speak.
- Sorry, I can't do this – Elara say coldly and leaves.
- Me neither – my heart break to pieces when Sofia follows her.
I just sit there all alone. Pansy, what's wrong?
- Fuck off, Draco – I scoff, but he doesn't obey. He sits next to me and hugs me tightly. I can no longer pretend, so I start crying.