Chapter 71

Risks

Kate POV

I'm sitting at the breakfast bar with Ana and observe Alex watching Rhi on the couch and he looks frustrated. I don't blame him. Ana and I feel the same way. If you look up FRUSTRATE in the dictionary the definition would be RHI in all forms of the word. The poor guy, he's just getting a taste of it. Ana and I have dealt with it our whole lives. I watch as he walks into the bedroom to call Jack. He looks exhausted and I'm surprised he hasn't crashed yet.

I look at Ana briefly, then, turn my eyes to the couch where Rhi sits I ask, "You OK Rhi?"

From the couch, Rhi sighs and replies, "Yeah, I'm just already done with this fucking sling and cast bullshit." She frowns, "I don't understand why I have to wear the fucking thing when I'm in the room. I mean, it's not like I'm going to do anything wild and crazy."

I roll my eyes. "Rhi, let me ask you something. Can you feel your arm at all?" I raise my eyebrows waiting for her response.

A scowl appears on her face, "No."

I continue, "Can you move your arm at all?"

She looks at me and I can see the frustration growing on her face and it's quite obvious she's really unhappy with the whole thing. "No." She pouts and I try not to laugh because I know it will piss her off, but I do smile.

"Rhi, we're sympathetic to you, we really are, but that's why you have to wear it. What if something happened and you hit it on something causing more damage? I know it sucks but you've got to do what Dr. W says." Resignation appears on her face and she sighs. I think I'm breaking through to her so I go for the jugular and play the guilt trip card. "Please. Do this for Ana, Alex and me. We care about you and want you to heal but we also want you happy."

I watch her take a few long sips of her drink. I'm actually surprised Alex didn't say something about the extra shots she added to her drink. I did, however, see him bristle a little but he didn't say anything. Maybe he was choosing his battles by then and that was the least of his worries.

When she doesn't respond I bring up the pain meds. "Rhi, you should enjoy not feeling any pain while you can. I bet you anything, when the block wears off, you're going to hurt like a bitch from the casting today." She frowns and I continue. "Be glad we got your pain meds early too. I think you need to plan on taking something before it wears off. Just a suggestion." I wink at her and smile.

Giving a sad smile, she sighs, "I know. I love you guys too." Resigned she adds, "I'll do what I'm supposed to do but it just sucks."

We're quiet for a few minutes, not really uncomfortable but not comfortable either. There's a slight hint of tension.

"Rhi? Can I ask you something?" I wait for her response and when she looks at me I'm not surprised.

"You guys want to know what happened at the clinic, don't you?" She asks, smiling.

I raise my eyebrows, eyes wide and a smile on my face. "How'd you guess?" I laugh.

Laughing at me she shrugs, "Maybe because you, Ana and I are all on the same wavelength? Besides, it was only a matter of time before curiosity ate away at you."

She proceeds to tell us what happened in the exam room before Alex went into the room. However, I notice she is not telling us everything. I understand though, it was between her and a doctor. Besides, she'll tell us eventually. From what I'm hearing, Dr. W seems like a really good doctor, with a great bedside manner and could even moonlight as a therapist. It takes a lot to try to get into Rhi's head, and it can be even harder get out of it. She was packing so much negativity that I knew she needed Dr. Cameron. I can't help but think the broken hand was a good thing.

When she says it was Dr. W's idea to have the x-rays up when Alex went in I was shocked. It seemed more like something Rhi would come up with, considering she can be brutally honest. Maybe Dr. W wanted to rip the band-aid off quickly. To be honest, I think it was a really good idea because it started the conversation, bringing us to where we are right now.

"Rhi, can I say something without you getting upset?" I really don't want to upset her but I want to give her something to think about.

I see a bit of sadness invade her eyes. "Kate, you don't have to say anything. I already know." She sighs, "I need to quit being a stubborn ass and saying or doing things that I know will upset everyone, especially Alex. He's only trying to be there for me and I shouldn't do the things I've done because I could be hurting him."

Wow. "Um, yeah, pretty much what I was going to say." I laugh. It's uncanny how the three of us can read each other's minds. It also makes me realize that Rhi is actually realizing what she's doing.

"You know, in the short amount of time we've known Alex, he's proven himself numerous times that he's a really good guy." I smile, "Sure we had our suspicions in the beginning but it's obvious he cares about you. He wants to take care of you and make you happy."

When she doesn't respond I continue, "You can see it in the way he looks at you, talks to you and acts around you that he's happy when you're around." Smiling, I add. "The same goes for you. He's good for you. He treats you the way you deserve to be treated and it's obvious he makes you happy."

Taking out my phone, I pull up the pictures I took just a little while ago. "When I said earlier that you two were the perfect couple, I meant it. Look at these pictures. Walking to the couch I sit down next to her and hand her my phone and watch her face for her reaction. She flips through the images silently.

Ana hasn't said anything this whole time. She takes her phone out too and hands it to Rhi. "Look Rhi, how many guys would hold a straw for you to drink instead of just handing the drink to you? Or the way he looks at you? Better yet, how YOU look at HIM?" Rhi nods and flips to the next image, silently.

"You know, I predict you and he are going to fall in love with each other by the end of this vacation. If it hasn't already happened. Elliot and Kate are proof that love at first sight does exist." Ana looks at me and winks. I wonder why Christian wasn't mentioned?

Rhi is quiet for a few minutes and when she looks at us she smiles, "I think you guys might be right."

When she pauses, I know there's something she's hiding. "You're scared." Rhi looks at Ana and then at me and I can see the fear in her eyes, leaving no room for doubt that her fear is real.

"Kate, I'm terrified. I know he's not Jace, or any of the others, but you know how fucked up I am. You know my issues. Alex doesn't. He deserves the best and I'm far from that. He's worth the fight but what if I lose that fight?" She snorts, "I mean, I can fight, obviously." Holding up her hand as proof. "That's not the kind of fighting I need right now."

I don't know what to say so I choose to say nothing, waiting for her to speak. This is her life and only she can make decisions that affect her.

"He's worth the risk though. I'll try to do what I need to so I can keep him happy. It doesn't mean it won't be difficult to keep from doing or saying things but I'll try my best when I'm with him." She takes a deep breath, "I can't help but think I'm going to hurt him. What happens when I lose my shit and snap and want to disappear for a while? He's not going to understand that and will get upset or worry or worse."

Ana cuts in, "Rhi, you're going to have to take a chance at some point. You don't know how he's going to react. You haven't given him a chance to." I know it's hard but she needs to hear the things she's not doing.

"Ana, I get what you guys are saying and I agree, but it's easy for you to say that. After all, you guys know how I am. He doesn't." She sighs.

"You're not giving him a chance to know how you are. It should be his choice to learn. Not yours." She's always talking about power and choices and how hers were taken away. She's doing the same thing to Alex; she just doesn't realize it.

Looking at me, she pleads, "Give me time to deal with this. Please. I don't want to rush into something and make a mistake. I don't want to hurt him and I don't want to be hurt."

Conceding I say, "Ok Rhi. Ana and I will be here for you no matter what. You know that. No one said you had to make a decision about anything right now anyway." She needs to know this. She needs to know that there's no pressure in making a long-term decision. Just the obvious one that's causing all the stress. "The only thing you need to focus on right now is to stop doing things that you know will hurt him. It's not fair to him to have you intentionally doing things you know will hurt."

"I don't want to talk about this anymore right now. I want to enjoy the rest of my vacation. I want to have fun and I want to be free. This emotional bullshit is going to cause me to snap and that's the last thing I want to do." She sighs heavily, "We leave the day after tomorrow and I hope this trip can be salvaged. All I want to do is have fun and let loose. I don't want to think about things. I just want to enjoy the moment. No more heavy talks. OK? I'm not normal. I do things my way." Standing up, she says, "I'm going to check on him. He's been gone for a while now and I want to make sure he's OK."

Ana and I watch her walk away and disappear through the door. Fuck. It's like her personality switch just kicked in the way she says things. I know why she does it. She doesn't want to discuss the things that bring out vulnerability and feelings. She likes to be numb to everything. She needs time, I get it, but if she waits too long her choice will be taken from her again.