Chapter 90

Snap!

Alex POV

We are standing together, a few feet from Kate and Ana, before we head up to the room. I'm curious if her nerve block has started to wear off yet. Looking down at her, I ask, "How is your arm feeling?"

She looks down at it before looking back up at me. She has an odd look on her face and she hesitates to answer. I have a bad feeling about this, so I ask again. "Rhi, how is your arm feeling?"

Kate and Ana are a few feet away, watching us silently, but I'm not sure if they can hear what we're saying.

"Rhi?" I ask again, a light growl escaping but she doesn't react, so I don't think she heard it.

She sighs heavily before responding, "The nerve block started wearing off the past hour or so. It started with a tingling in my shoulder where the shot was administered. So far it hasn't made it past my elbow, which is good." She glances over at the girls before looking at me. "I'd like to get back to the room so I can get a drink and take my pill, if that's OK?"

I stare at her, my eyes wide and eyebrows raised, concerned that she didn't say anything about the block wearing off. Actually, I'm more than concerned. I'm frustrated and borderline angry, with her.

"Why didn't you say something? You should have said something when it first started. You could have taken the pill at the table. That was the whole point of taking it with us to dinner." I take a deep breath and continue, "Let's go get Kate and Ana and head up to the room."

I don't wait for a response, instead I take her hand and pull her behind me walking toward the girls. As we approach them I give them the update. "Rhi's nerve block started wearing off about an hour ago. We need to stop at the Market inside and grab a bottle of water so she can take the pill I brought with me to dinner so she could take it before that happened. Are you guys ready?"

They don't appear to be too surprised, which I find strange, and we all look at Rhi. There's a look on her face that I can't decipher and I have to bite my tongue at what she says next.

"I can wait until we get to the room. I'm sorry. I didn't think it would be a big deal. My hand is still numb." She pauses and nonchalantly says, "A few more minutes won't make a difference."

OH. MY. FUCKING. GOD! She's going to drive me insane! She really has no concern for her own health. I can't look at her right now because I'm so upset with her so I focus on Kate and Ana. Sadly, they look like they're used to this but it's obvious they are frustrated with her too. Kate shakes her head slightly and motions to me that they are heading inside and I nod slightly.

Taking a deep breath to calm myself, I grind my teeth and growl out, "Rhi, What. The. Fuck. Why would you wait any longer to take a pain pill when you know your block is wearing off and you're going to be in pain soon? You know it takes time for any pain medicine to take effect." Tightening my hand around hers I say, "Come on. Let's get going. The sooner we get the pill in you the better." I turn to head to the entrance and tug her hand but she stops and pulls it from my grip.

"Give me the fucking pill." She growls back at me. "I'll just chew it. It will be absorbed faster anyway. Trust me, I would know." She holds her hand out, palm up, looking me in the eye.

Woah. This is different. I can see defiance alight in her eyes and her posture stiffens, ignited by the flame of her stubbornness. I can't help but feel like she's challenging me. I know she's aware I'm frustrated and upset with her but I don't want to have this confrontation out in public. Especially when people have been recording us.

I step closer to her, leaving maybe 5 inches between us, not even thinking that the size difference between us could be taken as a threat. Well, it's too late to worry about that now. What's done is done. I look down at her and try to soften my voice. I grit my teeth, "Baby, can we please go inside and get you some water? I'd like to get away from the cameras too. If you don't mind?" I hold my hand out to her, waiting.

Her stance stiffens as soon as I stepped closer to her before she takes a couple of steps backwards. She is silent as she looks up at me. There's something hidden in her eyes but I can't tell what it is. She sighs and her body appears to deflate. The defiance that was evident before soon disappears and is replaced with defeat. Resigned, she places her hand in mine.

Well fuck. That was not my intention.

As I'm leading her into the hotel, I rub the back of her hand with my thumb, trying to soothe the irritation away. I'm not sure if it's for her benefit or mine. Fuck, she's going to be the death of me! I can only imagine what it will be like with her back in Seattle. I can take care of her here, not there. Especially knowing that she's going to be having surgery. FUCK!

I've got to reign in my temper. I can't let her see that. She'll run and I'll never see her again.

Rhi POV

What the fuck just happened?!

As Alex is telling them what's going on I'm watching them and see disappointment in their eyes and it's evident they are not happy with me. In the back of my mind, I hear Kate telling me my inability to take care of myself, among the other bullshit I do, will hurt Alex and that it's not fair to him. Aaaaand, cue the guilt trip. She's perfected that over the years. Turning my head, I roll my eyes. I'm so over all this.

When Alex starts pulling me toward the hotel to go get water immediately, I don't know what happens but something inside me snaps. Stopping suddenly, I pull my hand from his, look him in the eye and demand the pill.

That seemed to catch him off guard. OK, maybe I didn't have to say what I did but I'm not a fucking child. I know I act like one sometimes but I'm quite capable of taking care of myself. I've done it for so long and I'm still alive. I may not do things at the standards or expectations but regardless of their opinions I AM still alive. I may be broken but those broken pieces have been put back together. The cracks may still remain but not all scars can be removed with plastic surgery.

Besides, it's not like they are the ones feeling any pain. I feel pain, but the physical pain is trumped by everything else. Fuck, this is worse than their issues with everything else I either do or don't do. If I thought they were mother hens, I think Alex is worse in some cases. I get it. He cares. He worries. He only wants the best for me. Yadda, yadda, yadda. The thing that pisses me off the most is they don't even ASK or LISTEN to me and actually HEAR what I'm saying.

Fuck he's overbearing at times. The girls are bad enough but he gives them a run for the money. At least the girls don't try to force the issue. I feel bad about snapping at him but I guess getting told what, when and how to do something enough times will break someone after a while. I've fucked up plenty of times and I've got the scars to prove it.

I struggle to keep myself from retaliating when he stepped closer to me. If he wasn't Alex I would have. To be honest, he kind of freaked me out when he did that. King Kong got a taste of that when he tried to grab me. This is Alex and the last thing I want to do is hurt him, in any way. He doesn't deserve that.

When he asks me to please get some water and get away from prying eyes my heart softens and I give up. Resigned, I place my hand in his and allow him to lead me into the hotel. Now I feel guilty. This is bullshit.

I don't have the energy to fight any longer so I silently follow him into the hotel. Stopping to get some water, he pulls the pill out of his pocket and hands it to me. He seems a little tense when I pop it into my mouth and swallow it down with the water he hands me. I have to fight the urge to open my mouth and lift my tongue to prove I didn't 'pocket' it like they do in prison. That was difficult but it wouldn't have helped the situation. He seems to relax a little and I hand him the bottle so he can put the cap back on and drop my hand to my side.

I feel terrible for upsetting him but, to be honest, I don't think it was that big of a deal. I still don't but I give up just to make him feel better. It's hard for me to allow someone to take care of me without fighting for my independence. I wish Ana and Kate would help me make him understand that instead of ganging up on me. That's how it feels sometimes anyway.

The silence is awkward between us. "Thank you for the water." I say, quietly. "Can we go up to the room now, please?" I ask, trying to keep the vitriol out of my voice. I don't want to make the situation worse and my mouth tends to get me into trouble. To be honest, I think the comment 'a few more minutes won't make a difference' was what triggered all this. It may not have been the words but the way they were said.

Right now, I just want to change clothes and get cleaned up. I'd love to take a hot shower to reset myself and dissipate some of this tension and stress and let it all wash down the drain. I'm sure I can find something to wrap my hand in to keep it dry.

Alex looks down at me, an unidentifiable look in his eyes, and replies, "Of course." He takes my hand once again and leads me to the elevators.

I notice Kate and Ana are no longer with us so I ask, "Where did Kate and Ana go?"

His voice sounds tight when he replies, "They went up to the room ahead of us."

My only response is, "Oh." We're silent for the rest of the trip to the elevator.

As I follow him to the elevator, my mind is racing, jumbled words and feelings bouncing off each other like BINGO balls. Will he want to talk when we get back? Is he going to leave? Is he staying? How much pain will I have? How often do I take the pills?

I wish I could say I didn't know what happened to trigger this but I do. I'm tired of being told what to do and when. I'm tired of not being listened to and heard. I'm tired. Maybe I'm grouchy because I don't want to admit they are right.

As hard as it is, I will admit they were right. I should have said something sooner. In my defense, it didn't bother me. It still doesn't but when it does, and I know it will, it's going to hurt like a bitch. I'm prepared for that. Whatever happens, happens and it's my own fault, so I'll accept the consequences.

I'm not going to ask what he plans to do yet. He's pretty upset right now and I have a feeling that if I ask he'll shut it down because we're in public. I'll just have to wait and see what happens.

I feel bad about the way I acted toward him. He didn't deserve it. I know he doesn't understand what or why it happened because I haven't told him anything yet. I'm not looking forward to reliving that part of my past, but if we're going to try we need to communicate. OK, I need to communicate and let him in.

The thing is, I don't know if he's strong enough to withstand all my fuckedupness. I'm afraid he's going to get angry with me or lose his patience or temper with me and we will have a battle. He obviously has a temper and he kind of lost it with me a few minutes ago.

I don't know what to do or say. Is it worth trying? He lives here and I live 1100 miles away in Washington. What's going to happen when I go home in two days? We haven't talked about that at all. That leads right back to communication. I'm confused and, to be honest, terrified.