Once Jewel put on the video everyone looked at the screen
[The SnapCube intro plays over the whirring of a helicopter blade.]
Dispatcher: (intercom) Alright, it looks like we got Sonic finally.
[The intro fades to black, and then to a zooming shot of the helicopter.]
Dispatcher: (intercom) He's been really hard to catch because he's so fast, but fortunately, we have him in this enclosed space.
"Oh! So the first video is of that time?" Sonic said mildly surprised
"You got arrested?" Lanolin looked at Sonic confused
"Yeah, but it was because I got mistaken for another hedgehog. Speaking of…" Sonic then turned to Shadow "Hey, looks like you are also going to be making an appearance on this!"
Shadow simply glanced at him for a moment without saying anything
"How could they mistake Sonic for Shadow? They look nothing alike!" Tangle questioned
"I have to agree. It'd be the same as mistaking Sonic for Silver" Blaze said while pointing at Silver who rubbed the back of his head
"Yeah, those guys must be pretty stupid to get those two confused." Surge smirked while leaning back
Amy was looking down ashamed, remembering the times where she mistook both of those for Sonic. Tails gave his friends a few pats on the back to try and make her feel better
Sonic: (muffled) I'm gonna kill all of you!
"Wow! A little trigger happy there, Blue." Rouge smirked
"You know what, I like this one a little more already." Surge smirked
Sonic chuckled at those two
Dispatcher: (intercom) Yep, we've heard that one before.
[Sounds of fighting and scattering rings are audible from inside the helicopter.]
Dispatcher: (intercom) Anyway, so- oh wait...
Sonic: (muffled) I'm bustin' out now! I'm actively busting out the prison.
Dispatcher: (intercom) Oh god, he's actually doing it.
"He is actually beating up the cops." Lanolin sighed
"Well, they weren't listening so I had to do something. I wasn't going to stay in jail for something I didn't do." Sonic leaned back and put his arms behind his head
Sonic: I'm now outside of the prison bars! Here I go!
Dispatcher: (intercom) You're a fugitive to law, Sonic.
[Spindash sounds can be heard as Sonic breaks the door and flies out of the doorway.]
Sonic: Blam! I told you! (grabs onto missile holster of helicopter) I was gonna break free!
"So cool! Hanging out of a flying helicopter like that!" Tangle had stars on her eyes "Can I-"
"No." Whisper said in her usual whispery voice
"Aww…" Tangle deflated a little
"I hope the door didn't hit anyone when it fell." Cream said
"Nah, I'm sure it's fine. Probably fell on top of a building at best." Sonic said, reassuring the small rabbit girl. Although, he actually wasn't sure where that door had landed
Dispatcher: (intercom) You son of a bitch, Sonic.
"Wow!" Vector said, covering Charmy's ears "Language!"
"I'll say." Vanilla also covered Cream's ears
"Profanity is not desirable for young minds. Cream must not hear the profanity." Gemerl said while crossing it's arms and shaking it's head
"I-I'm sorry! I didn't know it would-" Jewel tried to explain herself but then
"Why are you guys doing this?" Charmy said, taking Vector's hands off his head "What's the problem with a 'beep' sound?"
The group stared at the bee for a few seconds before turning to Cream
"Did you also hear a 'beep' sound?" Espio asked
"Y-yeah? Why?" Cream said making Vanilla sigh in relief
"It seems the technology on that other universe is so advanced that it managed to change the frequency of the sound so the younger people don't hear the curse words." Tails theorized "That's incredible!"
"And convenient." Jewel said relieved
"That's a relief. I didn't want to watch it without Charmy here." Vector said while giving his bee buddy a pat on the head
"Did you hear it, lil bro?" Sonic asked
"Oh, yes, I did hear it." Tails said "But don't worry, I've seen and heard worse in our other adventures, so it's not a problem."
"What about you?" Surge looked at Kit
"I-I did hear it. B-but well… It's not really that big of a deal." Kitsunami answered
"Yeah, didn't expect it to be." Surge said, she actually laughed a little when she heard the blue hedgehog being called a son of a bitch, she should call him that sometime
Sonic: Live and Learn, everybody. That's what I'm talking about!
Shadow hummed after hearing that. Why did he feel like the words "Live and Learn" had a connection to him? And why did that connection feel… musical?
[Sounds of fighting and scattering rings are audible from inside the helicopter.]
Sonic: Talk about a low budget flight! No food or movies? I'm- (Big peeks out of the doorway) Big?! What are you doing here?
"Big was arrested too!?" Tangle was incredibly confused
"Oh no, it's not that. Big just appears in random places looking for Froggy." Amy explained
"That's just normal with him?" Lanolin asked
"Yeah. Once you know Mr. Big for so long you get used to it." Cream said
Dispatcher: (intercom) He's also being brought into custody.
Sonic: You need to go back home. (Sonic jumps off of the plane with his skateboard that just appeared) I have a suspicion you left the oven oooooooooooooonnnnnn!
[Sonic Generations' City Escape Act 1 starts playing as Sonic drops onto the road.]
Sonic: Woooooooooooooo!
Hayley: That's a cool JPEG.
That got a small chuckle out of Tails
[Episode intro]
"The intro is so cool!" Tangle bobbed up and down with the music
"The song is also incredible!" Sonic smiled
"I wonder what's the name of the song." Vector hummed
"Hey, look! There's the names of the people dubbing us!" Tails pointed at the screen
They saw who were making their voices and kept a mental note for that, Sonic thought his voice wasn't deep enough but he wasn't complaining, it still sounded cool in his eyes
"So me and Rouge share a voice actor." Tails said while Rouge crossed her arms
"And so do me and Knuckles." Amy said, making Knuckles blink
"I wonder how Eggman is going to be in this." Belle said, making everyone now curious about that too
[We cut to a shot of Sonic panting in the middle of a street, facing Shadow the Hedgehog who is standing on a giant robot and holding the Chaos Emerald.]
"Already?" Blaze questioned "That was fast."
"Well, they did say it was a game, we even got to see some gameplay in the intro, so I guess they are just showing us the cutscenes." Tails guessed
"Fine by me, it would be boring as hell to watch someone play videogames." Surge said while yawning
Sonic: Huh?!
Shadow: Hey.
Sonic: Wh- what's that?
Shadow: Do you know where the nearest Hot Topic is?! Za Warudo!
"Hot Topic?" Shadow looked confused
"I find no registers of a 'Hot Topic' in my database." Omega said
"Wonder what it is to interest Shadow of all people." Rouge said
Shadow was even more confused now, what does Za Warudo mean!? Sounds like something he'd hear in an anime…
Sonic: Hey, you put that down. That's an expensive diamond!
"That's an emerald." Lanolin said
"A Chaos Emerald." Tangle chimed in
Shadow: Diamonds aren't green, dick-nips.
That managed to get a laugh out of the group, especially Surge, she was getting so many comebacks and insults to call Sonic when she gets her rematch!
[The entire cast starts wheezing.]
Sonic: That's really rude, I'm gonna have to call the polices on you!
"The polices?" Tails raised an eyebrow at Sonic who shrugged with a laugh
[Sonic starts walking towards Shadow, then Shadow points the Chaos Emerald at Sonic.]
Shadow: Za Warudo!
[Cut to a shot of green chaotic energy pulsating in mid-air. Sonic speaks off-screen.]
Sonic: (off-screen) I'll make you eat those words! (breaking into laughter with the rest of the cast)
"Not yet." Sonic smirked
"I think I heard that Za Warudo thing somewhere…" Tangle thought about it for a little bit
[Cut to a slow-motion shot of Sonic and Shadow running past each-other at nearly the same speed.]
Sonic: Wha-?
Shadow: See ya, nerd.
Shadow smirked a little hearing that
Sonic: Huh?!
[Everything goes back to normal speed and Sonic stops running.]
Sonic: He's faster than Sonic! He's faster than Sonic! What?
The group begins laughing at that
"What? Why?" Belle asked
"Because he's faster than Sonic!" Sonic repeated in the same tone as the video "Which obviously isn't true."
"I don't know Sonic, the you in the video seemed pretty convinced." Knuckles said
"Yeah, maybe because I'm even faster than him!" Sonic smirked making Knuckles chuckle a little
Shadow seemed to enjoy that little moment, even if it was just a little bit
There was one person who didn't enjoy being there, that being Duo, or better, Mimic, he thought this was stupid but he had to play along with this for now. Maybe he'll leave after this video with some excuse, that will help him have time to set some things up for his plan
[The cast breaks into more laughter.]
Sonic: It's almost like that.. emerald has some sort of power!
[Cut to Shadow speaking from a nearby apartment rooftop while playing with the Chaos Emerald in his hand.]
Shadow: This emerald has all sorts of power. Za Warudo!
[Shadow points the Chaos Emerald towards Sonic again, creating a blinding glow, as The World's time-stopping sound effect from JJBA plays. Sonic covers his eyes.]
Sonic: Stop saying that.
"Yeah, I don't even know what it means!" Charmy yelled
[Cut to black, a sign saying "11:08 Desert area" in Japanese. Knuckles and Rouge are seen near the Master Emerald arguing.]
"Oh, it's my turn now." Rouge wondered how they would make her in this
"And also me." Knuckles said
Rouge: We meet at at last!
Knuckles: We met last week, what are you talking about? You've been hittin' the reefers.
Rouge and Knuckles blinked before the bat girl deadpanned
"Wow."
That was all that was said
[A large metal claw picks up the Master Emerald, revealed to be Dr. Ivo "Eggman" Robotnik.]
Knuckles: AGH!
Knuckles growled a little
Eggman: That's right, Sonic! I'm taki- oh- oh, I mean- Oh wait, Sonic isnt here. Knuckles, I'm taking your Emeralds!
"How did he not notice until now?" Belle wondered
Knuckles: That's fine, I didn't really want it anyway.
"Hey! No! I would never let Eggman take the Master Emerald!" Knuckles roared
"I don't know Knucks, the you in the video seemed pretty convinced." Sonic shrugged
"Oh quiet you!" Knuckles yelled
Rouge: Hey, those are mine, bring 'em back!
"Yeah, if he doesn't want it then give it to me instead. I'll take good care of it." Rouge smirked
"No! Don't give it to her!" Knuckles yelled from the tablet
Eggman: No, fuck you. I'm takin' it away, you...thot ass. Bitch, I could–
"What did he just call me!?" Rouge widened her eyes in shock
Surge was trying her best to hold back her laughter, she couldn't blow her cover now, she had to pretend she cared about what was being said about them
Knuckles: Ugh, now I'm mad! Ahhhhhh! (He breaks the Master Emerald into shards) I can't-
Eggman: OH! MY EMERALDS! OHH! AGHH!
"You broke it!?" Lanolin widened her eyes
"Yes, it was the only way to make sure he didn't have it. But I collected the shards and rebuilt it." Knuckles said proud of himself
Rouge: That's what you get for being a dumb- dumb piece of shit! (Knuckles falls on her but Rouge grabs him)
"You tell him." Rouge smirked
Knuckles: Sorry, I wasn't trying to touch you! Nerd!
"Wow, Knuckles, be careful. You're pulling out the big insults now." Sonic smirked
"Well, she did try to steal the Master Emerald." Knuckles said
"That doesn't mean you can hurt my poor feelings." Rouge faked sadness, getting an annoyed growl from Knuckles
Rouge: Yeah, you were!
Knuckles: Get out of my face-
Rouge: Pervert!
Knuckles: I just punched an emerald! Hurt really bad.
The fan dub version of those two bickering was actually getting a few laughs out of them
Eggman: I'm gonna kill these sons of bitches, RAH.
Rouge: I can't believe you did this. This is all your fault.
"How is Eggman stealing the Master Emerald my fault!?" Knuckles yelled confused
"I meant making me lose such an amazing treasure." Rouge rolled her eyes
Knuckles: I can't believe your tits are one polygon!
[Wheezing from the cast]
That actually caught the group by surprise, making Rouge put her arms in front of her chest while Surge bursted out laughing
"What does that-Oh my God it actually is one big polygon." Rouge widened her eyes after the video automatically rewinded a little and showed her character model
"The game does look pretty old so I guess it makes sense." Tails said
"That was amazing! Oh my God!" Surge cackled without stop
[Cut to Tails flying his Tornado Cyclone over Prison Island.]
Tails: I'm flying this plane all by myself, I'm literally five years old. I'm not in any way qualified to do this.
"I wasn't eight at that time!" Tails said defensively
"How old were you?" Tangle asked
"I… was eight." Tails looked away
"That is still pretty young." Whisper… well, whispered
"Well, Charmy and I are also pretty young and we go on lots of adventures." Cream said
"Chao Chao!" Cheese agreed
"I think Tails doing the stuff he does at a young age is super cool." Sonic smiled and gave his best friend a pat on the back, making the fox boy smile a little
Eggman: [snickers evilly as he approaches her in his Eggwalker]
Amy: Where's my mom?
Amy blinked after hearing a small sample of her voice, she thinks she may have heard it wrong and just pushes that thought away
Tails: Hey, what are you doing down there? She's looks like she's all by herself. Maybe I should go pick her up in my super cool airplane.
"Yeah, I remember it." Tails sighed, remembering what happened to that model
[Text saying "DR. EGGMAN" appears character by character, signifying that Tails' first boss battle with Eggman is about to begin. Amy is nowhere to be seen.]
"Oooh! Boss fight!" Tangle said
Eggman: What the actual shit. Where did Amy GO? SHE WAS RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!
"Game design choices, Amy was actually right behind me when I fought off Eggman that time." Tails explained
Tails: Eggman, come over here!
Eggman: I'M GOING TO- ARRRRGH, MY BONES! Augh, I know I should've- [coughs loudly]
[The cast breaks into laughter]
The group also starts laughing, even Shadow and Duo do, even if it's in a smaller amount
Eggman: WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?
Tails: Happy April Fools!
Eggman: OH, MY GOD! That's it, I'm calling the police! 911, I'm the detec-
Tails: I AM THE POLICE! [Defeats Eggman]
Eggman: [Long vomit-like grunt of death]
The group could not stop laughing during that entire 'fight'
"What is that noise!?" Belle yelled mid laughter
"It sounded like his soul was being pulled out of his body!" Tangle was on the ground laughing
"For it being improv, this is very good." Lanolin said while trying to stifle her laughter
Omega and Gemerl looked at each other for a moment
"I don't have a laugh module. Do you?" Gemerl asked
"Laughter is not required in my extermination. Therefore, no." Omega answered
The ground finally managed to recover from that and Jewel unpaused the video
[Laughter, mostly from Penny]
Eggman: [sigh]
I miss my wife, Tails.
"He has a wife!?" Belle was incredibly confused. She had a mom!?
"I can't imagine a woman insane enough to want to stay with the egghead." Sonic said while rubbing the back of his head
[Hysterical laughter from the cast]
"Their laughs are very contagious." Cream giggled a little along with her mom
I miss her a lot. I'll be back.
[Muffled laughter]
Amy: Are you my mom?
Oh wait, hi Tails! How are you?
"Oh no…" Amy could already tell by her voice how her character was going to be
Tails: Uh, hey Amy, I'm great. Do you want to come get in my supercool airplane?
Amy: No! Not at all. It looks really gross.
"Hey, don't be mean!" Cream said
"Yeah, the airplane isn't gross, it's cool!" Tangle said
"Alright, alright, I apologize for what fandub me said, Tails." Amy laughed a little
"It's okay." Tails chuckled a little too
Blue: Aww! (reacting to Tails shrugging at Amy's answer)
Amy: Wait, on second thought, I don't wanna be here.
Tails: No, it's too late. You already made up your mind, I'm out of here!
"Not so gross now, is it?" Tangle said while letting out a laugh
[wheezing]
Amy: Wait come back! I changed my mind!
[Cut to Sonic in a jail cell.]
Sonic: Oh... I'm in jail again! I just- Amy!?
Amy: Hey! I found you!
All by myself with no help from any five year olds I kidnapped. What? Sorry. Anyway…
"Way to take the credit." Rouge smirked
"Well, I didn't kidnap Tails so it's still true." Amy crossed her arms
Wow, check out my legs! You like that?
I'll let you out if you take my "I'll fuck you" card.
C'mon! This is my v-card! I saved it for you!
Amy lowered her head while blushing
"I'm not that bad!"
Rouge let out a small chuckle
"Who would have thought you were that desperate to get with Sonic."
"Rouge!" Amy was almost dying out of embarrassment
"It's okay Mrs. Amy, I'm sure Sonic is going to take your card. He needs it to escape prison after all." Cream said with an innocent smile on her face
"Y-yeah…" Amy wasn't sure what she should say to her
Sonic: No! No, I told you once too many- Ohh, I'm so mad at you! One too many times is enough!
Amy: One too many times is not enough!
"You should have told her two too many times. Amateur mistake." Tangle shook her head
Sonic: Hey! You stop it right now. You're trying to trick me with your vixen tricks? I won't take any card. I can get out by myself.
Amy: Alright, bye! Have good times in prison.
[frees Sonic from his cell] Swipe.
"And she frees him anyway." Rouge shrugs
"I could have escaped by myself, I think, but thanks for the help anyway Amy." Sonic have the pink hedgehog a thumbs up
"No problem." Amy waved, still recovering from her embarrassment
[Cut to Green Forest, where Sonic and Shadow have met up once again and are staring each other down]
Shadow: That blue hedgehog again, of all places.
"And here's where I make him eat his words." Sonic smirked
"If I remember it right, I was the one who won that fight." Shadow said
"Nuh uh, it was me." Sonic retorted
Sonic: (talking over Shadow) Hey, that's...
Sonic: I've... f-found you... faker!
Shadow: Faker? I think you're the fake hedgehog around here.
You're going around being an asshole?
I mean that fits me, but die.
Shadow blinked, he wasn't an asshole… Was he? No, he wasn't. He just doesn't have time for fools.
Sonic: I'll make you eat those words!
Shadow: Perish.
Hayley: (deadpan) Shadow. [reading the on-screen text, signalling the start of Sonic and Shadow's first battle]
That caught the group by surprise and managed to get a laugh out of them
Shadow: Yes, thank you, voice.
[wheezing]
Shadow: Let me just spit it out!
Sonic: Thanks, I forgot who this was!
Did we ever establish our names? Hi, I'm Sonic!
"Introducing yourselves while fighting. That actually sounds like Sonic." Tails sighed while shaking his head
"You tell me." Surge scratched the back of her head
Shadow: No. Nice to meet you. I'm Shadow. Ow.
Sonic: Sorry for hitting you so much. It's just... it's part of the narrative. Wham!
"Yeah, don't take it personally, Shadow. It's just the narrative showing you I'm better." Sonic smirked and shrugged, making the black hedgehog frown
Shadow: Ouch!
Sonic: Ow!
Shadow: I got you, you stupid blue fool.
Sonic: (over Shadow's speaking) Ow!
"What was that?" Shadow smirked
Sonic: It seems as if we're evenly matched in some kind of way! (As he defeats Shadow)
"What was that?" Sonic said back, making Shadow huff and look to the side
Shadow: OW! We aren't. You just killed me.
Sonic: Just kidding! I'm better than you! I'm better than everyone!
"Told you I won that fight." Sonic shrugged
[wheezing]
Shadow: But... I'm the ultimate lifeform…
"I'm the ultimate life form, you would-... Huh?" Shadow blinked when he noticed he was basically saying the same as the video
"Oh wow, seems like they got you just right." Rouge smirked
"Oh, quiet you." Shadow looked to the side while Rouge chuckled
[cut to Sonic and Shadow panting heavily from their battle]
Eggman: (over a walkie-talkie) It would seem that you bitches have come to a standstill in Tarzan's forest.
You have thirteen seconds before the island fucking explodes, you Hot Topic wannabe and you blue gumball son of a bitch.
Surge started laughing again once she heard what Sonic was called, making some other laugh along with her, while Shadow was wondering once again what was this "Hot Topic"
[Wheezing from the cast, who are about to drop an absolute bombshell on Alfred.]
You have done nothing but destroy my life, I hope you both die.
Sonic: Hot Topic!?
Shadow: No! My secret!
"I guess that's why we don't know what it is." Rouge shrugged
Ryan: Alfred, I hope you know that is actually what happens in the story.
Penny: That is act- like, he literally was like-
[more wheezing]
Alfred: Wait, dead seriously? Seriously?!
"Wait, actually?" Tangle looked at Sonic
"Yeah, pretty much. Eggman said that he was going to blow up the entire island." Sonic told her
"It's actually impressive he guessed that without having any knowledge of us it seems." Tails said
"The Doctor really is obsessed with you if he would blow up an entire island just to beat you." Lanolin said
"He almost destroyed the entire world multiple times for that reason too, the island is nothing special." Shadow said
Ryan: He literally says this island will explode-
Penny: Yeah, see? Watch!
[Said cutscene of Green Forest being detonated plays out]
Alfred: OH MY GOD, I DIDN'T KNOW!
[hysterical laughter at Alfred's reaction, especially from Blue]
The group also chuckles a little at Alfred's reaction
Oh my God, I didn't know...!
[cut to Knuckles looking up on Pumpkin Hill and talking to an Omochao with the cast dooting "A Ghost's Pumpkin Soup ...for Pumpkin Hill"]
"Hey, this song isn't that bad." Knuckles said
Knuckles: And so I said, "What are you, smoking the reefer again?" Hahaha, classic. Ahh, I enjoy our talks.
Whoop. Here I go. I can FLY!?
"No. You can glide." Charmy said in a obvious way
[laughter]
Eggman: (on a live broadcast on every TV screen in the city) Hehehe! Hey, everyone! Guess what?
I know you wanna buy my stocks, but fuck you. I'm keeping your stocks.
That's right you ugly little girl, I hate you!
Ugly Little Girl: Mommy...?
"Hey don't be mean!" Belle said
"That little girl is pretty ugly." Surge said
"I-I agree…" Kit said
"Oh yeah, humans! Wow, it's been a while since we've seen them." Sonic said, making everyone wonder about that
"Yeah, that's true. We haven't seen humans in a long time." Tails thought
"I don't think I've ever seen one." Tangle scratched her head
"Neither have I." Whisper mumbled
"Same here." Lanolin blinked
They started to wonder what happened to all the humans… But then decided to investigate about that later
Eggman: And your STUPID NOSE! I'm taking everything from you, GIVE me your phone.
I'm taking over Victoria's Secret, I'm taking over Best Buy, the news is MINE, and everyone else can leave!
You see that PLANET!? I'M TAKING IT TOO!
"Heh, that's him with Little Planet." Sonic smirked
It looks like a fucking WALNUT!
"It kinda does." Charmy said
[The "walnut" explodes, revealing the Eclipse Cannon.]
BLAM! AND IT BUSTED A NUT! THEN AND THERE!
"Hah!" Surge let out one very loud laugh
"How is a nut exploding funny?" Cream didn't understand why the nut busting made Surge laugh
"Don't worry about it." Vanilla waved off her daughters question
[evil, maniacal laughter from Eggman as the Eclipse Cannon charges up]
Now DIE.
[The Eclipse Cannon fires.]
[Ascending motorboat noises from a cast member as the laser gets closer to its target]
Civilian: Oh my God, it missed!
"He wasn't aiming at you." Espio said
[The Eclipse Cannon hits the Moon, blowing half of it up.]
Eggman: Fuck you, Moon! You never had the cheese I wanted!
"What!? The moon isn't made out of cheese!" Charmy yelled
"Chao Chao!" Cheese was equally upset
"Such betrayal… how could you moon…" Charmy was now on the ground depressed with Vector patting his back
Civilian: Oh. Well that wasn't very nice.
I- I think that's gonna have some kind of effect on the tides or something.
"Some very bad effects actually. Good thing we fixed it." Tails said
"Did we…?" Amy thought about it a little
"Of course we did." Sonic reassured her
[A timer counting down from 24 hours is shown, indicating the time until another blast from the Eclipse Cannon will destroy the Earth.]
Eggman: I hope you're ready to die, It's gonna be like Evangelion. Get the fuck out.
Sonic: Whoa...
Amy: That is like, Evangelion or some shit man, that is crazy. Anyway.
"You don't sound that worried." Amy deadpanned
Sonic: I just- n'ohhh. I always didn't like the Moon, but-
Tails: No, I loved the Moon! I don't know why he felt like he needed to blow it up.
"Because the Doctor likes to show off." Tails answered
"That's the egghead for ya." Sonic said
Sonic: Well, maybe it like said something weird about his mom or something. I don't know. I can't put my finger on it.
Or my tail. Or my spikes.
"Heh, I'll use that sometime." Sonic said
Tails: Well, here! Take this... diamond as a consolation prize.
For the fucking Moon just blowing up, I guess.
"It's an emerald." Lanolin said again
Sonic: Wait a minute, I have an epiphany!
Amy: Wait, what's-
Tails: Let's go!
Amy: What's an epiphany?
"Why did they have to make me the stupid one?" Amy put her face on her hands
"I don't know, to me it sounds like they made all of you the stupid one." Surge smirked
[Cut to Tails and Amy, now during daytime]
Amy: So I said... "Why the long face?"
You get it? 'Cause uh- 'cause- anyway.
So... [unintelligible]- oh.
Tails: That's not- That's not very funny Amy honestly you probably should like pick-
keep your day job or pick a new career, I don't think stand up comedy is really your thing.
"Yeah, it doesn't really fit you." Sonic said
Amy: Ohhh. You mean I should marry a very handsome and wealthy man who has stock in the diamond and ring business?
[Knuckles appears from a manhole]
THERE HE IS!
"So since Sonic didn't take your card now you're offering it to Knuckles?" Rouge smirked
"What? Jealous?" Amy smirked back
"Hah, as if." Rouge chuckled
Knuckles: Hey, what's up good-looking? Also, hi Amy.
Rouge and Surge ended up busting out laughing at that while Amy got a deadpan look
"That's mean…" Tails said trying to hold back his laughter
"Hey, don't worry, you are very good looking." Knuckles said
"Aww, thanks Knuckles." Amy smiled
"Oh, hey Amy. Didn't notice you there." Knuckles smirked
Amy pulled out her hammer and got ready to smash the tablet, only for Tails to get in front of her and protect his creation. Rouge and Surge ended up laughing even more
I haven't seen you since nineteenth-aught-seven.
[wheezing]
Don't touch me, harlot!
"I'll touch you however much I want after that!" Amy pouted while looking away
Tails: Can you guys like, stop having relationship issues while I'm on the phone with my dentist?
"Nice one fox boy!" Surge cackled
I'm out of here, bye. [hits Knuckles with the Tornado Cyclone, which he has turned into a car-like vehicle]
Knuckles: Agh!
"That's what you get!" Amy smirked
"It was just a joke!" Knuckles yelled
[Cut to the President in his limo.]
President's Secretary: Mr. President, you have a dentist appointment at 7:00.
[Humming is heard in the background to make a calm and fun-sounding song]
President: [exasperated sigh]
[A cast member wheezes, licks their lips]
Sonic ended up letting out a laugh
"Awkward…" Vector said
President: Mmmm... That's my favorite song!
Also, cancel that dentist appointment. I don't need to get my teeth done.
[Eggman appears on the limo's TV screen.]
Eggman: I'm takin' over the universe! I'm takin' over yo' world! I'm takin' yo' TV! I'm GLITCHIN' it!
They call me the GLITCH! Do you know why they call me the MOTHERFUCKING GLITCH!? Because I GLITCH ya TVs out!
"Not the glitch!" Charmy yelled dramatically
"How will I watch my favorite shows now!?" Tangle yelled while faking a fall, using her tail to hold herself up
I'm taking the world by STORM. I'm gonna drop my newest album, CRACKIN' EGGS.
"Crackin' Eggs?" Belle said
President: Crackin' Eggs?
She blinked after that
"Huh, an echo." Tails said
Mm, ahh.
[Sonic is seen running next to the President's limo.]
Sonic: Hi, Mr. President. We need your help!
President: [gasp]
Sonic: Some masked villain named the Glitch is taking over the system!
President: (talking over Sonic) Sonic, my long-lost lover! It's fi- oh–
Everyone paused and looked at the screen with an equal look of confusion
"What?" Jewel blinked
Sonic: Wha- Hey. I told you not to bring that up anymore. I'm putting that behind me, Mr. President.
"Wow, Sonic. I didn't know you were in a relationship with such an important person before." Knuckles said
"Oh, come on!" Sonic let out an exaspated sigh, Knuckles was going to use that for a long time
Now stop it and let's focus on business, Tails what you got?
Tails: Sonic I found this, like, used copy of Sims 4!
"Sims? For some reason it reminds me of the Lator series." Tails pondered
[A cast member lets out a laugh]
Sonic: What?! That's the least best Sims game! But I'll take it anyway, come on let's go!
"Yeah, Lator 4 isn't really that good." Tangle shrugged "I find the Lator series pretty boring."
"And there goes Sonic stealing from the president." Tails said
"And I thought Rouge was the thief." Knuckles said
"Treasure hunter." Rouge corrected
Tails: Wait for meeeee!
President: Wait, wait! Come back! Honeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyy (turns vomit-like in the end)
[Cut to the outside of Hidden Base.]
Knuckles: How the fuck did we get to Egypt!?
"By running." Sonic said in a 'duh' like tone
Sonic: It's a big triangle or something, I don't know. What's on the top there?
Knuckles: I don't know, but I'm gonna punch it. That's... what I do.
(to Amy) Anyway, what are you gonna do, pink?
"What did I do!?" Amy yelled
Sonic: Hey, don't be so mean to Amy, okay? She's literally just standing there.
"Yeah, that was just really uncalled for." Sonic said
Amy smiled proudly at her dear Sonic protecting her
You just are very aggressive, and you lash out when you get upset and you're confused.
I promise everything will be explained.
Knuckles: (over Sonic) No!
Tails: Alright, I've got my jet! Let's go!
"It's not really a jet…" Tails began explaining
(cut to a black screen)
Sonic: We don't have a jet.
But was cut off by Dub Sonic talking
(inside Pyramid Cave)
Sonic: I'm gonna go in there first and you guys back me up okay?
Okay?
Tails: Nope. I'm going.
"Tails sounds so done with the adventure." Rouge chuckled
Sonic: Do you guys hear me? Do you- hey!
[A wheeze is heard in the background]
Tails: I'm just trying to get a feel for this door. I think it's made-
Sonic: It's made of wood, Tails, there's nothing else to get a feel of. It's wood and paint.
Knuckles: Uh actually it's a really low-res JPEG.
"Old games used that type of stuff." Tails shrugged
Sonic: What? A J- What's a JPEG? Stop speaking witch.
"Witch!?" Tails blinked confused
"Well, your techno talk does sound like magic stuff to me." Knuckles said
Eggman: Heyy, bitcheeeees~. Didn't expect to see me.
Sonic: Hey, what's going on Eggman? Some weird guy named the Glitch is-
Eggman: Sonic, I've had enough. You took my wife. You fucked my crops. I'm taking ya life.
And the Chaos Emeralds!
"The crops!?" Belle was sick to her stomach… well, her wooden robotic stomach
"How do you even do that!?" Tangle was equally as confused
"I don't even think it's possible…" Lanolin closed her eyes
"I have an idea as to how…" Tails thought
"Do not explain it!" Everyone yelled
[A cast member imitates the top of the pyramid opening up to reveal a space shuttle.]
Alfred: (reminding us he is blind to this game) WHAT?! WHAT?! WH- WHY IS NASA THERE!? I'M SO CONFUSED!
"Oh yeah, Eggman's base on the pyramid." Sonic laughed
"Watching all of this blind is very confusing." Tangle giggled at Alfred's reaction
Sonic: I gotta get on that plane!
"It's a rocket." Lanolin said
Knuckles: Oh, no! It's an ancient Egyptian space shuttle!
Penny, in Sonic's voice: Hey, this is like, this is like.
What George Lucas was talking about with like, rhymes in cinema? Like how the beginning of the one?
I'm in a plane, and now I'm in a rocket? Yeah?
Alfred: Can I just real quick say that I never got to play this game, and everything that's happening is new to me and my mind can't... connect right now.
"Oh gears and starters…" Belle laughed a little
"Poor guy, he can't keep up with our craziness." Sonic smiled
Hayley: No, it's fine. Don't worry.
Blue: [laughing] I'm in the same boat, I have no fucking clue what's happening.
Penny, in Sonic's voice: It's so epic, right, Alfred?
[Cut to space, the shuttle underneath the Eclipse Cannon, as it crashes into an asteroid.]
Sonic: Did someone drop the emeralds again?
Knuckles: It wasn't me, I swear!
Tails: Hey Sonic, I have a question. Since I'm literally five, can you please explain to me how you fucked crops?
"Oh please no!" Everyone yelled
[Cut to the inside of the Space Colony, ARK, with 2 hours and 11 minutes left until the Eclipse Cannon fires again.]
Everyone sighed in relief
Sonic: I did not- I didn't wanna have to explain that to you Tails, I didn't wanna! You forced my hand.
"Oh come on!" Tails yelled
Tails: PLEASE...!
Sonic: Now you're scarred for life, and I'm gonna have to take you to therapy, and it's just-
"Good job, Sonic. You traumatized Tails." Knuckles said
Tails: Yeah I think I need to melt now.
Amy: After you explained how to fuck plants, I think I'm a veggie.
"NOOOOOOOOOO!" Amy yelled
Tails: I didn't expect that to be exactly how you explained it,
but then, after you explained it, made so much sense that that's exactly how that would work.
But now, I'm wondering why the fuck would you do that?
"We're all wondering that!" Surge yelled
"Those poor plants…" Cream said
Amy: Well, it's a personal choice and I thank you not to judge me for it.
"Shut up!" Amy yelled at her dub counterpart
Sonic: Amy, shut up right now. Shut your mouth, right now. We are not opening up that can of worms. Okay.
Tails, you go find Dr... Glitch.
Tails: Okay, I think I found him. He looks like he's uhhh... somewhere inside- some- there's a flashing pink thing. I don't really know.
"I think Surge was right about all of us being turned stupid…" Tails deadpanned
Amy: We need to find our way down the thermal coils to the nuclear reactor.
Once we implant the emerald into the reactor, it will overload the system!
Amy blinked
"What?"
Did her dub counterpart just say something… smart?
Tails: I- Okay, but I really just want to hold on to this very shiny object, it's really pretty.
Amy: Oooooh, shiny~!
"And she's back to normal." Amy sighed defeated
Tails: I was thinking I was gonna give it to my mom for her birthday.
"I don't think a Chaos Emerald would work as a good birthday gift, lil bro." Sonic said with a chuckle
But, I guess if we have to put it inside a nuclear reactor, that's what we have to do~!
So here, Sonic, you take it and run real fast.
"It's what I do!" Sonic smirked
Sonic: At least we found some use for this piss rock.
The more immature members ended up laughing at the 'piss rock' comment
[chuckle from Blue]
Sonic: I'm out of here. See you later!
Man it's so handy that you can read, Tails.
"Yeah, everyone there is stupid." Surge shrugged
"Agreed." Shadow deadpanned
"That includes your counterpart." Rouge said
"I maintain my statement."
[Cut to Sonic inside the Eclipse Cannon's power console holding the "piss rock" that will neutralize it. 45 minutes remain until it fires on the Earth.]
Sonic: So wait, I had to put the what in the what now?
Tails: (over walkie-talkie) You have to put it in the nuclear reactor!
Put the piss rock in the nuclear reactor!
"So it's that how were calling the emerald now?" Espio asked
"The piss rock…" Silves chuckled a little
Sonic: Huh? What!?
What did you just say to me? Put the what in the what?!
"You need to listen better…" Kit mumbled
[Blue laughs]
[Cut to Meteor Herd, going backwards in time to 1 hour and 26 minutes before the Eclipse Cannon fires. Knuckles and Rouge are seen confronting each other.]
Knuckles: Ah, I see we meet again. For the first last time.
Rouge: But this time we're in space. I don't know how the fuck I got here to be honest with you.
"I flew." Rouge said in a joking way
Knuckles: I don't know how the fuck I'm breathing to be honest. AGH!
"Well, obviously there's a-" Tails began
"Don't ruin the joke, Tails." Sonic told his fox friend
Rouge: So, do you want to like, go get coffee later?
Maybe? Me and my one polygon boobs?
"Now you're calling him on a date, huh?" Amy smirked at her but the bat girl didn't respond
Knuckles: They're my favorite polygon!
"Oh, are they now?" Rouge said, Knuckles for some reason could feel a weird aura all the way at Angel Island
[Big the Cat appears, watching Rouge take a suicide fall into the lava below.]
Rouge: [Anguished screaming]
Cream gasped worried for her bat friend… Even though she was right there in the room with her, so she should already know she'd be okay
Knuckles: Noooo!
Knuckles: (after saving Rouge by grabbing her hand) I did it!
"Yeah I did!" Knuckles smirked
Cream sighed in relief
Rouge: Knuckles.
[Lets go of Knuckles' hand]
Thats- I- Knuckles, I'm so sorry…
"Oh? You apologizing?" Knuckles said
"I can be nice." Rouge smirked
Knuckles: I'm sorry, did you not consent to me saving your life?!
Rouge: No, I did. I just-
Big: [appears and makes a distracting noise]
"Hello Mr. Big!" Cream waved
Knuckles: I'll push you back down!
"Do not!' Rouge said
Rouge: (over Knuckles' sarcastic apology) No, listen!
Knuckles: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that.
Rouge: You're not listening to me! I wanted to say, I'm sorry for the way that I've acted and–
"You know, that's actually very nice of dub you, Rouge." Amy said
[Camera zooms in on Big making a rather suspicious up-and-down motion with a clenched fist...]
They all stared at the screen in shock
"What is Mr. Big doing?" Cream asked before her mother covered her eyes
"Something you shouldn't be seeing." Vanilla said in a quick way
"That goes for you too buddy!" Vector said while covering Charmy's eyes
"Hey!"
Knuckles: Whoa! Big, what are you doing back there, dude?!
Big: Uh, nothing! Uh, don't even look at me, I–
The two uncovered the eyes of the children
"Maybe I should have a talk with Big one of these days." Rouge said with a smile
Rouge: Who are you talking to? Never mind, it doesn't matter, I'm super high right now.
[A wheeze is heard]
[Shards of the Master Emerald drop in front of Knuckles.]
[Knuckles] Weed…
"It's not!" Knuckles yelled
[Penny hysterically laughs]
Rouge: Yeah. Weed. Just for you.
[Cut to Sonic in the Space Colony ARK, entering a door and confronting Eggman, who has Amy at gunpoint. 33 minutes remain until the Eclipse Cannon fires on Earth.]
Sonic: That's right, everybody. It's your favorite boi.
"The best boy!" Sonic said with smirk
Eggman: (in a shaky voice, possibly from insanity) Get the fuck out or I'm gonna shoot Amy in the fucking face!
"You can hear him breaking character!" Surge laughed out loud
Sonic: No!
Eggman: I swear to GOD, I'll DO IT, you BITCH! GET OUT! I will pop her.
Amy: Don't give him my life for a piss rock!
"Yeah!" Amy said
Sonic: Will you pop this piss rock?
Eggman: [gasp]
Put the piss stone down right now, you know what piss rocks does to your... ᵇˡᵉⁿᶦˢ.
"His what?" Tails blinked
[light wheezing]
[Sonic] I like what it does to my ᵇˡᵉⁿᶦˢ, Eggman!
"What!?" That only made Tails more confused while some of the others laughed
[louder laughter from Ryan and Blue]
And you know what? That's what's gonna give me the strength to get through this and get-
[Eggman realizes Sonic's piss rock is a fake one, and encapsulates the latter in a pod.]
WHOA!
"And caught!" Surge yelled
[A cast member makes a "SHEEEEEN!" noise as Eggman imprisons Sonic]
Amy: (off-screen) Sonic!
Eggman: (in a deeper voice) You thought you were gonna escape, and I knew you were gonna fart in here, so I had to put up a fucking seal.
"He's gonna kill you because of a fart!?" Tangle said
[Sonic is sent hurtling towards the Earth.]
Sonic: WOAHHHH!
Amy: Noooo!
Tails: Sonic!
Sonic: Talk about a low-budget flight.
They laughed at the nonchalant quip from Sonic
[laughter from the cast]
Piss rock, I pray unto you this day,
[wheeze]
that you would protect me from my sins, and my transgressions.
"Now you need to pray to the emerald to do Chaos Control?" Tails said with a chuckle
[Eggman] Now! I will control the universe, and EVERYONE will be able to watch (in a deep voice) ˢᵖˡᵃᵗᵒᵒⁿ ² ˡᵉᵗ'ˢ ᵖˡᵃʸˢ (normal voice) by Eggman!
"Oh no! So evil!" Tangle did her fake fall once again, making Whisper giggle a littld
[more wheezing]
Now GET in the FUCKING ROOM.
Tails: Shoot me you fucking coward, DO IT.
They bursted out laughing at the absurdity of that line
"No! Don't taunt him, Mr. Tails!" Cream yelled
[hysterical laughing]
Tails: You won't!
I have no reason to live anymore now that Sonic is gone, and my piss rock.
"You still have your super cool airplane!" Tangle yelled
[Tails starts his last battle with Eggman.]
"Get him buddy!" Sonic cheered
Eggman: I'm going to make sure that you watch my Vine compilations and I'm gonna make you perish, you little rodent!
"I'm a fox! Not a rodent!" Tails said m
Tails: I will never watch your Vine compilations 'cuz they suck. You pick all the bad Vines!
Amy: I'm just gonna hang out in the corner here and watch. J-Just don't shoot me!
"Yeah, it's very good how you managed to not get caught in the crossfire." Tails said
"I'm very nimble." Amy smirked
Eggman: My Funyun® rings! I'm taking them back!
Tails: Gimme those Funyuns!
Eggman: Give them back to me!
Tails: OMNOMNOMNOMNOM!
"Don't eat the rings!" Tails yelled at his counterpart
Eggman: I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!
[gets hit again] NO!
Tails: They're my Funyuns now, Eggman.
Eggman: Tails, listen to me. I know who your mother is... [coughing in defeat]
"Huh!?" That actually caught them by surprise
[Penny laughs hysterically]
Tails: Don't you fucking lie to me!
"Oh good." Tails sighed relieved
[more laughter]
[Cut to Knuckles standing alone at Final Rush.]
Knuckles: Am I in Halo?
"No, you're in the ARK." Knuckles said to his counterpart
A voice: Oooooh...
[Sonic is teleported next to Knuckles.]
The voice: Knuckles... here's your bitch back. (echoing)
Surge let out another loud laugh
Knuckles: ...Thanks, Jesus!
[wheeze]
Sonic: One bitch, fresh off the presses! Wassup, Knuckles? Piss rock saved me. And now I'm all dizzy.
Knuckles: I'm- I'm too high for this shit. I can't. I can't.
"Yeah, I also can't." The normal Knuckles said
Sonic: Oh, God, please.
Knuckles: (holding Sonic on his shoulders from being "high") Are you... limber?
Sonic: No, I'm like a high equivalent. Anyway,
Knuckles: What?
"What?" Knuckles echoed his dub self
Sonic: So uh, what's going on with Eggman? What'd he do, did he make everybody watch the Splatoon Let's Plays or somethin'?
"Pretty much." Sonic said "Totally not trying to destroy the planet."
Knuckles: Everybody at home, are you getting this right now?
"Nope." They all said
Sonic: Hey, this looks really d- delicious. I feel like I could eat this.
"Do not!" Knuckles and Tails yelled
[Sonic runs off with the piss rock.]
Knuckles: Sonic! No! You're joking-
[wheezing]
Sonic: ...not gonna do that!
"Oh good!" Tails sighed
Knuckles: Whatever.
[Cut to Sonic alone on Final Rush. 5 minutes and 44 seconds are left until Eggman fires the Eclipse Cannon on Earth.]
Hayley over an imaginary loudspeaker: W-W-W-W-W-W-Welcome to the Fun Land!
"Oh great, another amusement park." Sonic sighed, Eggman did have a weird thing about them so it wasn't that far-fetched
[Shadow appears next to Sonic.]
Sonic: (noticing Shadow) Oh.
Shadow: Welcome to Fun Land, Sonic.
[wheezing from Penny]
Two tickets to ride on the Fuck You Train.
"Aww, you bought one for me, Shadow?" Sonic said in a mocking tone
Shadow huffed
Sonic: Oh sweet! Is there a cartw- wait. Ferris wheel is what I meant.
I almost said cartwheel. This piss rock does crazy things to ya. You see- ever see one like this before?
"This dub is doing crazy things to me." Amy said
Shadow: Oh, you know I have, Sonic. You know I've seen my fair share of piss rocks. Now let's start running.
"That was very-" Rouge began
Sonic: (talking over Shadow) You said that really sensually!
"Yeah, that."
Shadow: Yes. I'm a very sensual being, a hopeless romantic if you will.
"Oh really? Who's the lucky one?" Sonic asked but didn't get a response
Sonic: What ya see is what ya get, just a guy who loves piss rocks!
"That's not how it goes." Sonic said
...And adventure, I'm gonna run now.
"Eh, good enough."
Shadow: What the fuck?
"Agreed." Shadow said
[Cut to the start of Sonic and Shadow's final decisive battle]
Sonic: I'm gonna get faster than youuu!
Shadow: No, I'm faster than you actually. I did the math, I'm pretty fast.
Sonic: (talking over Shadow) No, I'm faster than you! It's part of my name! Sonic-
Shadow: (talking over Sonic) See look, I'm faster- Ow.
Sonic: Sonic Fast-Man Hedghog.
"I'm using that!" Sonic smirked
Shadow: (over Shadow) Ok, first of all, rude. This is still just like Dragon Ball Z.
Sonic: (repeatedly using his Homing Attack on Shadow) Bam bam bam bam bam bam, you know how it goes, you know how it goes.
Shadow: Yes, this is... (indiscernable)
Sonic: Uh, just like Dragon Ball Z, did you ever watch that one episode of Dragon Ball Super where…
"Just having a normal conversation while trying to kill each other..." Belle blinked
[Time skip, Sonic having changed topics]
Sonic: And then I said, "Hey! Give me back my lettuce!"
"How did it went from Dragon Ball Z to Lettuce!?" Lanolin was incredibly confused
Shadow: What kind of list was it? Is it the Naughty-Nice List, you Santa mofo?
Sonic: No, I said lettuce.
"Were you even listening?" Charmy asked
[Sonic defeats Shadow]
Shadow: Ahhh!
Sonic: Were you even listening at all?
[Cut to 1 minute and 30 seconds until the Eclipse Cannon's proposed fire time, but the Cannon is shown being destroyed, with the piss rock being inserted into the console of the cannon by Sonic.]
[A cast member makes explosion noises as the Eclipse Cannon implodes.]
"Looks like in this world, I won!" Sonic smirked
[Eggship] Ohhhh, noooooooooo! [gasping and coughing]
No, the Glitch! The Glitch!.
I didn't take my Claritin XD! [gasp]
Sonic: (holding onto a wire) Shoulda taken dayquil!
"What?" Tails and Lanolin said
(Giving a thumbs-up to the camera) Yeah!
[Outro screen is shown with the Chao Transporter theme playing.]
"Okay, that was pretty funny." Sonic said
"It was okay." Surge said, she actually thought that stuff was hilarious
"I don't really like my dub version here, but the video was really good." Amy said
"How about you, Shadow?" Rouge asked
"No comment." Shadow answered
"Yeah, expected as much." Rouge sighed
"Put the next one in, Jewel!" Tangle said
"What even is the next one?" Lanolin asked
"It looks like… It's called Sonic Adventure 2 Dark Story+Final Story." Jewel said
"I guess it's going to focus on Shadow, Rouge, and Eggman then." Tails said
"Oh! Sorry guys, I have to go." Duo said, getting up
"Aww, really?" Tangle asked
"Yeah, I really wanted to stay and watch but I have some very serious business to attend to." Duo explained himself
"It's okay, we understand." Lanolin said
"Thank you so much!" Duo said and left the room
Duo's eyes turned black with white iris, frowning while walking away
"Such a waste of time, but still, there's Surge and Kit there to collect any information that they may let slip up in their fun, so there's no need for me to stay there and listen to that stupidity." Mimic said, he did like some parts of the video and how much of a buffoon Eggman was but in his eyes, it was nothing more than a waste of time
—
At Eggman's base, Cubot walked up to his boss
"Uh… boss?"
"What is it?" Eggman asked
"If you miss your wife you should go visit her more often. I mean, I didn't even know you had one." Cubot said
Eggman stopped working on his invention and looked up, blinking twice before turning around to his robot servant
"What!?"
yeah, I wrote the Mimic out because I didn't like writting him. It's that simple