Six Months Later
Bang! Bang! Bang!
The unrelenting sound of knuckles on wood reverberated through Scarlett's skull and sent her burrowing deeper beneath the covers.
BANG! BANG! BANG!
'Ten more minutes!', she cried, her bottom lip protruding in a pout so pronounced it hurt her jaw.
She sighed with relief when the banging stopped, curling up snugly to enjoy her last, well-earned minutes of rest. No sooner had she relaxed than the door burst open and the covers were whipped cruelly from her, the chill of the early morning air making her wince.
'I said ten minutes!' she complained, flipping over onto her back so that she might better glare at her attacker.
An attacker who was currently wearing a frown thunderous enough to rival Scarlett's own.
'And I done told you and told you that staying up all night in that study is doing you no good, but did you listen to old Mammy? No, you didn't!'
Scarlett snorted in contempt as she rose from the bed, acknowledging that she'd never be allowed to go back to sleep. 'And I told you that I had to go over the accounts. Or do you think that me getting an early night is more important than us keeping a roof over our heads?'
Mammy only harrumphed in reply, thrusting Scarlett's corset into her hands with poor grace.
For one precious, shining moment Scarlett thought that she had won the argument, only to be disappointed when Mammy started muttering behind her back as she laced her up.
'Accounts, she says! Accounts ain't going to help with the wrinkles and the bad back she's going to get if she don't sleep! She ain't sixteen no more, that's for sure! And yelling at Mammy when I is so old and tired and only trying to help...'
'Oh, would you hush up?' Scarlett cried in exasperation, spinning round to face Mammy. 'You're not old and you know it! And as for tired? Why, no one on this plantation has even half your energy, nor will they ever have! You'll still be here when I'm ancient and grey and covered from head to toe in wrinkles and even then you'll still find things to shout at me for!'
'And...' Mammy prompted smugly.
'And,' Scarlett said, rolling her eyes as she found herself outmanoeuvred once again, 'I promise I'll come to bed earlier tonight.'
Mammy nodded in approval, her smile widening as she twisted Scarlett back round to finish lacing her corset.
Looking out of her bedroom window at the vast, cloudless blue sky above and the beloved red earth beneath, Scarlett was overcome with a feeling of calm, safe in the knowledge that today was going to be as peaceful and happy as yesterday had been and tomorrow surely would be.
Life had taken on a comfortingly familiar pattern in recent months, her morning tussles with Mammy as regular and spirited as the rooster's dawn call.
Sure enough, Mammy began bemoaning the state of Scarlett's skin as she helped her into her dress, rubbing her palms up and down the length of Scarlett's bare arms as if attempting to scour away the freckles that were beginning to take hold there.
'Spending all day out in that hot sun, you is turning more speckled than a hen!' she grumbled, her words making Scarlett laugh out loud.
Mammy was domineering and bull-headed and never satisfied, but she was also childhood and safety and home. She was all the things that Scarlett had lacked in recent years and all the things that were helping to heal her now. Where once her constant criticisms would have driven Scarlett to despair, now they reassured her that she was loved. That, despite all that she had endured and lost, to Mammy she would always be that same sixteen-year-old beauty, the undisputed Belle of Five Counties and the true pride of Tara.
Being here was like stepping back in time. It allowed Scarlett to return to those careless, drowsy days before the war when the South was still great and her heart was still unbroken and the biggest worry she faced was having to decide which of the county boys she should let claim the most dances at the upcoming ball.
She had taken such days for granted, naively believing they would last forever. But now she knew better. Now she knew just how hard and cruel life could be, and she clung tightly onto Mammy and Tara, the only two things hardy enough to have endured from those earlier, happier times.
Here with them both, Scarlett's life had taken on a strange, timeless quality. Standing in her old bedroom being dressed by Mammy, she could almost have been getting ready for that barbecue at Twelve Oaks. That had been such a fateful day, the moment when her childhood had ended and real life had begun. The day she had lost Ashley, the day she had found Rh...
The thought of him brought Scarlett sharply out of her reverie and she pulled away from Mammy and moved over to the vanity.
Scarlett ran her brush absentmindedly through her loose hair while staring wistfully at the bottle of lemon verbena scent Mammy had gifted her on her first night back at Tara.
Like most things in this life, Mammy had been right to say Scarlett was the true Mistress of Tara. It was a title she had worked hard to be thought worthy of these last few months, and one that filled her with pride. Because Tara was home, in a way that even her beloved Atlanta had never quite managed to be. Though she had loved the vibrant, brash feel of the city, at heart she would always be Gerald's daughter, a country girl raised upon the notion that land was the most precious thing all in the world.
Picking up the bottle, Scarlett felt proud to own a small piece of her mother's legacy. She sprayed it onto her upturned wrists, a sense of purpose descending over her.
There was just one last thing she needed to do before she headed downstairs.
Peeking behind her to make sure Mammy wasn't looking, Scarlett opened her jewellery box and, picking up her wedding ring, slipped it carefully into the snug space between her corset and her heart. It was a ritual she'd undertaken every day for the last six months and she no longer felt fully dressed without it. Now equipped to tackle the day's challenges, Scarlett left the room - Mammy following close behind.
Skipping down the stairs, Scarlett entered the dining room, unsurprised to learn that, yet again, she would be the last person to take up their seat at the table. Passing by the children, Scarlett made sure stop and kiss them both on the forehead, happy to see that they leant into her touch instead of shrinking from it.
While these last six months had not transformed her into the perfect mother, they had seen her employ far more patience and interest when engaging with Wade and Ella. Where once she would have scolded them for speaking, now she encouraged their tales, doing her best to smile and nod in what she hoped were all the right places.
It helped that their time at Tara had brought both children out of their shells. Ella had found a firm friend in Suellen's equally timid daughter April, while Wade had taken to plantation life like a duck to water. Scarlett was surprised how proud it made her to see him taking care of the animals and mucking in with the chores.
Often, he would accompany Scarlett on her daily business round the estate, his pale, earnest eyes quietly drinking it all in. Scarlett's heart soared to see her love of this land reflected in his young face. It gave her hope that Tara would live on in the O'Hara family long after her days were done.
Sometimes as they rode through the fields - Scarlett astride her large, rowan stallion, Trix, and Wade on his smaller, elderly mare, Lottie - she was reminded of how Rhett and Bonnie had used to travel around Atlanta together. The memory always brought a lump to her throat, but it also offered a fraction of hope, almost as if her beloved daughter lived on, helping to bring Scarlett closer to her previously reserved son.
Rounding the table, Scarlett took her place beside Suellen. She offered her sister a small smile. While too much hurt had passed between them for a true friendship to blossom, they were at least able to live under the same roof without wanting to throttle each other ten times a day.
Leaning forward, Scarlett looked past her sister to Will and began filling him in on her findings from yesterday's study of the accounts. It amused Scarlett to discover just how much she liked Suellen's husband. He was a sensible man, coarse but honest. They'd become a formidable team these last few months, and Tara's profit margins were reaping the benefits. Now and then, Scarlett found herself wondering how much easier her life might have been if only she had waited to steal Suellen's second beau instead of her first.
It was an idle fantasy. Scarlett knew herself well enough these days to understand that a man as calm and steady as Will would be incapable of holding her interest for long. She'd come to appreciate that she needed a partner who would challenge and rile her, teasing out the passion that lay within. A partner like Rh…
'Scarlett?'
'What?'
The children tittered at her rough manners.
'I mean, pardon?'
'I said I'm postponing my trip into Jonesboro' until tomorrow. I have a feeling the weather's going to turn ugly this evening, so I'll need to batten down the hatches - make sure there's nothing left loose for the storm to blow away.'
'Right…good,' Scarlett said, too distracted to partake in one of her newfound favourite activities - quizzing Will on his remarkable ability to predict the weather.
Picking up her spoon, Scarlett paused to wipe away the smattering of jam that Ella had managed to drop down her chin, silently congratulating herself for not scolding her daughter for her clumsiness.
'Thank you, Mother,' Ella said, rewarding Scarlett with a a sloppy kiss on the cheek before she turned back to continue whispering with April.
Scarlett smiled as she watched the two girls converse, their heads bent closely together as they murmured their secrets. It reminded Scarlett of the innocent games she'd played with Suellen and Careen before they'd drifted apart. She found herself hoping that Ella and April never had to sacrifice their friendship in order to grow up.
Next to the girls sat Wade, his face alight as he engaged in his favourite topic - talking to Will about Tara. For if Scarlett liked and respected Suellen's husband, then her son practically worshiped him, hanging off his every word with a raptness that made it clear he was storing away every nugget of information for use at a later date.
Sometimes their interactions were so intense that they made Scarlett's jealousy flare. After all, she was the one who had grown up here, not Will. Rightly, it should have been her that Wade rushed to with his questions. Though perhaps it was a blessing he didn't - how Will put up with the boy's constant jabbering, Scarlett would never know.
Scarlett sat back in her seat and listened to the pleasant murmur of conversation. They babbled gently around her like a brook, filling her with a sleepy sort of calm. For the first time since Ellen's death had shattered their small world, Tara was playing host to a proper O'Hara family again. The old house felt reborn, its shutters thrown wide open to let the morning light flood in.
It would have made the perfect picture, if not for one missing piece.
Rhett.
It had been six long months since Scarlett had last seen him. Since he'd kissed her hand and walked out of the door.
Though Scarlett had relished her stay at Tara, had been beyond grateful for the chance to reconnect with the land and the people it provided for, she had never forgotten her promise to Rhett. In her heart, she'd been waiting for him all this time.
Only what if she'd been waiting in vain? Their six-month deadline had passed two days ago without so much as a word from her supposed husband. What if he did not mean to return? What if their time apart had taught him that his love for her was long dead? Or he'd met someone he loved more? The hateful thoughts chased themselves ceaselessly around Scarlett's head, like a pack of dogs scrapping over a rotten piece of meat.
For she remembered something else too, a hateful sentence she wished she'd never uttered.
If you decide that you can't love me again, I want you to write to me. Don't tell me in person.
What had possessed her to say something so stupid? The post could take weeks to get here. Months, even, if Rhett had decided to leave Charleston for some far-flung land. A letter could so easily get lost, too, and she'd have to go her whole life never knowing why he hadn't come back.
Or - worst of all - what if there wasn't a letter at all? What if something terrible had happened to him in these last six months which meant he couldn't write to her? What if he'd been injured, or killed, or forgotten all about Scarlett and returned to Atlanta to shack up with Belle Watling?
That Scarlett found the last of those three options the least traumatic made her proud of how far she'd come in these last six months. She wondered if Rhett would be proud of her too, sinking into despair when she realised he'd most likely never get the chance to know this new version of her.
She'd worked so hard to be better for him, to be worthy of his love, and it was all for nothing. He wasn't two days late. He just wasn't coming back. He'd taken time away to see if he could care about her once more and decided that he couldn't. Scarlett wasn't enough. She'd never be enough.
The presence of her family, such a comfort only moments ago, now felt cloying. They probably hated her too, only putting up with her at all because she paid for the food on their table and roof above their heads. All her life, she'd been the girl everyone desired, but no one loved.
Her first morning back at Tara, when she'd lain down in the dirt and sworn she wouldn't let Rhett's absence destroy her life, she'd meant every word. Only now what remained of that life stretched out in front of her miserably, all those empty, loveless years opening up before her like a chasm. How was she ever supposed to bear it?
Overcome, Scarlett rose from her chair and hurried out of the room in search of fresh air. Running down the hallway towards the front door, she swung it open and hurtled out onto the porch, colliding headfirst with the figure standing there.
'I'm sorry,' she muttered, her face flushing red with mortification.
'There's no need to apologise, my pet. It's not every day a man receives such an effusive welcome from his wife.'
'Rhett?' she asked stupidly, bringing her hand up to shield her eyes from the sun.
At first, she saw nothing but a featureless shadow, but then her eyes adjusted to the light and she could see him clearer than ever.
'The one and only, my dear,' he drawled.
'You're here,' she breathed.
'I am.'
'And you remember, what I said about writing if you didn't...' she trailed off, a terrible fear gripping her.
He nodded, the smile slipping from his face as he grew sombre. 'I do.'
'And you came back?' she pressed, needing to know for sure.
Sensing the weight of her question, Rhett took her hand and pulled her close. 'I came back, Scarlett. I remember every word you said to me on the day we parted, and I am here. I came back to you.'
His hand felt solid and blessedly real around hers and it was only thing that convinced her she wasn't dreaming. She looked up in time to watch a slow, lazy grin light up his features as dark eyes raked across her body.
'Now tell me, honey, did you miss me?'