Iris' turn
I really should have known better.
I've been a queen for three years now, and first princess for a decade prior to that. It was completely predictable that two days in the capital would quickly balloon into nearly two weeks between social obligations, formal cabinet meetings, and 'kitchen cabinet' meetings with my closest advisors. All the general business of running a kingdom at war that Claire, the 'loyal' vassal she was, ensured found me whether I liked it or not.
The one positive was the sample items from the Crimson Demons had time to arrive, so at least my working meals had some new additions.
"Be reasonable, this is the most exclusive dish in the kingdom," I pointed out to my Prime Minister, tucking a bit of cheese back on my pizza slice as I removed it from the serving tray between us. "Not even your or Tina's families have the recipe yet. How much more refined an experience could you wish for?" I teased her, who was still eyeing the slice on her own plate dubiously.
"Must you eat it with your hands?" she replied with resigned exasperation.
"The cucumber and tomato sandwiches you always have are finger food," I rejoined, folding the slice in half lengthwise to make a quasi-sandwich. "See, no difference at all."
"My sandwiches won't get grease on the documents," she grumbled, but followed suit and took a hesitant bite. Then a few more as the first failed to poison her with peasant vulgarity or the like.
"Speaking of grease, and wheels that need it," Claire continued where she had left off before our meal arrived. "Our outlay for the Royal Cavalry is due for review as well."
I grimaced around my pizza but had to agree. They'd been used hard in the Marchlands, stamping out brush fires and raids from the demons, as well as launching their own. I'd be using them even more to run reconnaissance in force if my plan paid off.
"They likely earned it, can we find an extra 20% in the budget for them?"
Claire considered, wiping her mouth on a napkin. "Perhaps. No more certainly."
"And the road improvement budget?" I asked.
"Nothing likely for most roads, you've ridden enough of them to know what a task that would be," she snorted, recalling the rutted tracks most freight moved over. "The royal roads to Elroad or out to Lugunica could perhaps be done, though float carriages are preferred there for good reason. I'm afraid road maintenance has been a casualty of war for too long, never mind new construction."
That night, I wrote another pair of messages to the Village. One a straightforward update and apology for my tardiness. The other...it was sealed but unciphered, and I could almost pity anyone that intercepted it trying to look for hidden messages.
Hear me my companions, in my utmost extremity of need. When the blackness of the night doth bid fair to envelop my soul within its fell embrace, I hark back fondly to our most felicitous meeting and yearn to spend it with the boon companions whom I have grown to clasp near, and make known to you both a further aid and helpmate to our grand vision in Lady Sylphina of Dustiness.
Should you be of like mind and yearning, know that a place shall be made ready for you until such time as partings force themselves upon us once more.
Iris
Kazuma's turn
"Well, you two?" Rain asked as she finished reading the letter.
Involuntarily, my head tilted as I tried to interpret the 'literary masterpiece' I'd just heard. "So...she wants to know if Komekko and I are willing to make a trip to the capital to visit her and this priestess, right?" At her pained nod of agreement, I shrugged. "I'm way ahead of where I was when she left, I'd say," I answered. "Ready to take on a Demon King is a bit much, but a visit to the capital should be fine without making a fool of myself."
"A visit where you will need to interact with some of the highest ranking people in the kingdom," my tutor reminded me. "And convince them you've been worth the effort so far."
"Just have them try out the penne carbonara," Komekko suggested cheerfully. "If it's good enough for a true companion like Hoost, it should be fit for anybody!"
Her 'true companion' routinely hunted and ate what he caught in the woods. Hoost was not what anybody would call picky. But he did really like carbonara, so I guess from a marketing perspective you could say I was appealing to the widest possible demographic Belzerg had to offer.
Hopefully the high nobility wasn't any more refined than a Greater Demon.
"I'm sure that will help," Rain humored the walking black hole, then picked up where she left off. "Your knowledge of most topics is still somewhat superficial. However, no one should be expecting a freshly arrived foreigner to have more than a passing familiarity of our geography, literature, or trends. Simply stick to what you know and admit ignorance while seeking your questioner's opinion for what you don't. Otherwise, your etiquette is passable enough, and speech much improved."
"And I've racked up some more skills and levels in the meantime as well," I added. Not to mention become disgustingly familiar with the local monsters' anatomy doing it. "I'm up for a day trip."
"The Crimson Demon Clan stands ever ready to brave any journey! A mere jaunt by Teleport is nothing in comparison to the perils we must brave henceforth!" Three guesses who gave that answer, and was completely right. Damnit.
That settled, we went on with the day as usual after Rain sent our agreement.
That afternoon found the three of us materializing by the front gate of the grimmest piece of architecture I'd ever laid eyes on.
Pale gray stone blocks rose from the flagstones of the square to about 10 meters high, topped with kinds of crenelations and machicolations that I wouldn't have been able to pronounce on my best day a month ago. The heavily braced outer gate stood closed before us, but a smaller sally port set beside it opened to admit us as we approached. Above us a squad of soldiers tended their, worryingly large, mounted crossbows while another squad on watch gave occasional glances from atop the walls. One of the formal guards at ground level saluted Rain and bowed us into the portal.
Inside the gatehouse wasn't quite as dank as I'd been afraid of. Though lots of stone and the business end of the gate winches gave a chill and a smell of oil to the air once we passed a second interior door set at right angles to the first down a short hallway.
The same procedure was repeated on the inner side, leaving us in another flag-stoned courtyard and the palace proper ahead of us.
When I first heard about the palace, I'd imagined something from Tokyo Disney. But this was more like a sprawling, low slung building maybe three or four stories tall. Big windows, columned entryways, and off white stone made it look more like a big, old-fashioned bank or some other government building than a fantasy castle.
I felt vaguely cheated, but I'd bet this was a lot easier to live in.
A pair of armed retainers met us outside, and with a quick exchange with Rain led us inside.
The meeting room we eventually arrived at was closed by a pair of paneled doors that opened automatically as we approached, and our escorts peeled off. Which seemed like a neat trick for a fantasy world until I saw Rain lower her hand from her waist back to her side and realized she'd probably summoned a vacuum to suck them open. So still a neat trick, because I never felt so much as a wisp on my hair from it.
The room itself was nicely paneled, on the way here I'd gotten an education in degrees of ostentation as we got closer to the actual residence. Dominating it was a round wood and wrought iron table and chairs set with covered dishes and populated with a quartet of gorgeous blue-eyed blondes. Only one of whom I knew.
This was actually the first time I'd seen Iris in anything but adventuring gear, day clothes, or casual evening wear, so I took a moment to appreciate the effect. It wasn't the full state dinner formality I'd heard of, but her staff had put her in an ankle length white and blue dress, frilled at the neck and hem with extra fiddly bits I didn't know enough about fashion to name. I did like the effect though, added to the circlet on her curled hair it marked her as Boss Lady in Chief. She of course sat directly across from the empty chairs for us and began with the introductions.
Not the fun kind, to Komekko's disappointment.
On the right side of Iris was the eldest of the group, Duchess Claire of House Sinfonia, with short hair and a dyed strip in her bangs, looking somewhere in her forties. In contrast to Iris' more frilly and ornate dress, she wore a crisp white suit and mantle that wouldn't have been that out of place back home.
On the left, Duchess 'Please call me Tina' Lalatina of House Dustiness, was in her early thirties, very tall, and very pregnant. She wore her hair long and mostly down besides a partial ponytail in the back. She also dressed more similarly to Iris, though with a much more interesting neckline and just as much more room in the waist to accommodate her cargo.
Seated next to her was who I'd thought was 'Tina's' younger sister, down to a similar hairstyle and an almost as tall but much slimmer figure. In fact, she was her cousin and ward Archpriestess Sylphina and was dressed in Erisite robes to match the part, the last of our party members and the one I'd be sticking closest to given she had all the healing skills.
Right, time to go to work. Giving my well-practiced polite smile, I bowed in the approved style. "Your majesty, ladies, my thanks for your invitation. I cannot express how it gladdens my heart to share your company today."
There, that should do it. Now to sit down with the smokeshow squad and see what was for…
"Mmmmm. He's exactly my favorite kind of man," Tina eyed me consideringly, stopping me cold. "Be careful with him, Sylphie. You never know what he might be capable of away from watching eyes. Where his wanton urges might lead him in the…"
What.
"Lalatina, enough," Claire groaned softly. "Though I cannot disagree with your assessment, there is a time and place." She eyed me much more critically and much less consideringly. "He cleaned up better than expected, I admit. But a stable with a new coat of paint is still a stable underneath and nothing will change it."
Hey, standing right here lady.
"Ara ara, I think he just needs a woman's good influence in his life. Someone to lead him onto the right path like a good older sister would," the youngest blonde in the room giggled.
That…that wasn't even a word in this language.
I took a quick look at Iris to see what she made of this, to find her leaning back in her chair with her hands interlaced, hiding most of her expression besides a sharp look in her eyes.
Ok, so that's how it's going to be. Let your minions nibble on me and see what I do. Fine, I can dance to that beat.
"My cover may not be the fairest in the land, I confess," I began, trying to keep to the forms I'd been taught. "However, you shall find the contents of my book are second to none. My planning, combined with her majesty's assistance, brought down a General that eluded previous capture for decades before I even properly arrived. On arriving in this world, I assisted in the destruction and salvage of a golem that stalked the forests of the Crimson Demon Village for time out of mind."
"By throwing mud in its eye," Claire noted dryly. "Hardly the work of a hero to be."
"Blinding an opponent is a time-honored tactic in any land," I replied sharply. "In addition to gaining the skills and level necessary to succeed and support my task, I began a thorough reconnaissance of the Crimson Demon Village. Making a point of learning its inhabitants and their habits."
'Especially the pretty ones,' Rain murmured softly, but since the others didn't seem to hear, I decided to ignore that bit of inconvenient truth.
"Finally, with that information in hand I began experimenting with additions to the local cuisine, knowing that trends involving foodstuffs are both simple to implement and can be disproportionately lucrative applied correctly." And thank you to every isekai novel ever for hammering that point home. Plenty of my compatriots had been brought here for years, that being why they used the metric system, so most of the typical cuisine owed a lot more to east Asia and Japan than you'd guess looking at the people and buildings.
"Your defeat of Seresdina does give you much credit, and I am willing to consider it your defeat despite her majesty's presence on the field." Tina began. "Having fought her myself I can testify to the difficulty being…most invigorating," she gave a little wiggle at that, but quickly suppressed it. "However," her expression hardened from vaguely amused to deadly earnest, "my original point regarding Sylphina's safety in your hands remains. While she is not legally one of my children, I consider her my own all the same."
That…actually I could totally see her point there. Sylphina wasn't anywhere near the stacked marvel of nature her aunt was, she was still a knockout. Though her comment earlier made me wonder what her route would be getting me into. Being concerned for her safety, and remaining 'intact', made a little sense.
"Forgive me, I was under the impression that her majesty was in command of our expedition. Lady Sylphina's fate is bound up with my own to be certain, though no more than Archwizard Komekko's might be." And I aimed to keep it that way. Being the idea guy was one thing, having to make the command decisions had nothing going for it but future ulcers in my eyes. "As for any untoward actions on my own account, if all else in my character should fail, I am well aware of the consequences overstepping would bring me."
"Indeed, I am." Iris agreed, and entered the conversation for the first time. "Though I shall certainly be consulting you, as well as the young ladies, for your thoughts and counsel, the final decision belongs to me. As for any indiscretions on anyone's part," she trailed off meaningfully. "I shall have them answer to me."
That seemed to satisfy everyone, which said a lot about the woman I'd decided to chase that I'd rather not think about now.
"Now then, I believe that addressed everyone's concerns? Then I suggest we finish lunch before it gets cold. As it happens, today's menu was inspired by my trip to the other world. I shall be most interested in your opinions."
Lunch conversation turned out to be a lot less stressful small talk, which I could mostly handle by now even if this was more women than I'd ever eaten with in one sitting, and a way higher average hotness index on top of it.
We soon finished up and Claire and Iris got back to work, leaving Komekko, Sylphina, and I to wander the capital market for the rest of the afternoon.
"You're the native here, milady," I said to the blonde of the group once we cleared the castle gates and blended into the crowd. "Where do you suggest we go first?"
"I insist we peruse the shop of horrors that purveys my family's wares exclusively!" Komekko declared. "My father insisted we bring a report on which are selling most vigorously so he can adjust accordingly!"
"Of course we could add that, big sis can always accommodate such a cutie's needs!" Sylphina agreed brightly, pulling her into a full body hug and half spin as we followed the crowd. Komekko didn't quite seem to know how to take that kind of mothering from someone who was maybe her age at best, and while I was as onboard with a cute girl with no personal space as anyone…
Yeah, she was going to take some getting used to.
Once she was moving under her own power again, Komekko led us to the shop in question. I might've been disappointed by the palace a little, but this was a fantasy magic shop. In fact, I recognized some of the products on the shelves from the Village, so at least it wasn't hack work junk.
Komekko met the owner at the counter right away, so Sylphina and I browsed a bit and tried to ignore the chuuni speak sales report.
While I was weighing the need for a nice silver barrier ring, good for one use at saving my skinny butt, versus an eyepatch pierced with a honeycomb of translucent crystals that granted perception bonuses that stack with Farsight, the crimson terror came trotting up folding a list of new orders into her pocket.
"Behold, my family notoriety grows! Sales have climbed this month, spreading word of our prowess at, oh you found one of our items," she beamed. Taking the patch from me, she held it over one eye and blinked through it at us to demonstrate. "My dad is a career magic toolmaker. He used to really suck at it though," she admitted, placing the patch back in my hand. "The tools always worked as promised, but the things they did…" she grimaced and turned away. "The world doesn't need amulets that paralyze everyone for 100 meters, friend or foe. Or barriers that keep out attacks from both directions, or…well you get the idea."
Yeah, I could guess. She was amazingly good at tracking and processing what we killed for a wizard, she probably had a lot of motivation to learn back then.
Sylphina looked like she was about to move in for another hug, but her target deftly slipped around me to block her off. "It got better, when my sister left they didn't have as many mouths to feed, and eventually he started turning out tools that people actually wanted. They're doing a little better these days, especially after I moved out on my own..."
Half an hour later, I had a sack of self-cleaning toothbrushes, mana powered heated and cooled socks and underwear, and a new eyepatch. Plus a hat that wasn't magical at all, but was black and wide brimmed, that Komekko insisted I had to have to 'match my previous life's archetype'. Demon summoning nutjob or not, she was amazingly cute when she put her mind to it. So, before I quite knew what was happening, I was wearing the edgiest thing I've owned since junior high as we walked down the street. Sylphina had made some purchases of her own, but insisted on carrying them herself. Given she'd been shopping the same areas I had I could guess what she'd bought, but…no. Best not to think about it, begone temptation! There wouldn't be enough of me left for a Nice Boat.
Komekko was empty handed besides a bag of pretzels she'd bought from a very happy street vendor. She did condescend to share one with each of us, so yay for team building I guess.
Sylphina was between us and had an arm linked with each of ours as she towed us to our next destination, chattering about something I was having real trouble concentrating on with my arm squashed against her, when Komekko stopped cold and nearly caused us to trip.
"Apologies! The inscrutable exhortations of my soul must be placated! Farewell!" she proclaimed, shoving the bag of pretzels into Sylphina's arms before dashing off down an alley.
"There's a perfectly good bath house not far from here if she had to go…" the new pretzel bearer muttered, fumbling to shift the load without dropping anything before snapping her jaw shut and glancing my way with a light blush.
"I've heard worse," I assured her gravely. That didn't seem to help, she just stayed pink but now turned her nose up and refused to look at me at all. Whatever, no helping it now.
Taking the pretzels before she did something Komekko would never forgive her for, I started walking again. "She can catch up with us later. She knows where we're going and I doubt there's anything here that can even make her break a sweat anyway."
"Ladies don't sweat," she chided, stepping quickly to catch up. "Certainly not where we can be seen doing it."
"My adventures so far beg to differ, milady," I chuckled. "That said, I doubt that was her problem." If I was going to guess she was looking for something, but as long as she didn't summon some gibbering monstrosity in the middle of downtown it wasn't my problem. And if she did it was the Guard's and Iris' problem, so really I was off the hook completely here.
Sylphina still didn't look convinced, so I finally relented. "Look, we're going to some sort of cake cafe later on right? You've met her, do you really think she'll miss out on that as long as she's still breathing? If she doesn't show, we can worry then. Besides, those alleys are a maze, we'll never find her if we go in after her." And I'm way too squishy to go poking around in dark alleys with nothing but a healbot for company. I planned to stick close to her, but that involved having some firepower out front too.
That seemed to finally convince her, because we made our way to the street theater that was playing in one of the smaller squares. Of all things, it was a story about a dragon knight who gave up his title and position for love of his princess. Pursued by her father's men, they had a torrid romance on the run until they were finally caught. Tragically, predictably, he was exiled to wander the land forever separated from his love.
Sylphina ate it up like the girls back home with a chick flick. Me…well magic made for some pretty convincing special effects if you used it right. And I guess the actress was hot, and…I guess it wasn't a bad way to spend the rest of an afternoon really.
We didn't see Komekko though, and it wasn't so packed that we were hard to find. Either she got lost, or…well that was a whole different set of problems. After waiting a bit we went on to the cafe, Sylphina radiating a freezing cold 'I told you so' vibe I could practically feel after we left.
A few minutes later, we pushed through the door with me beginning to consider rehearsing an apology to Yunyun if I was wrong after all, and Sylphina several steps along to panic if her muttering was any indication.
"Lo, do mine eyes deceive me! My companions at last!" our shortest member proclaimed from her table as we walked in. She'd started early, there the sad remains of a cake in front of her save a lone survivor of a piece.
"Where have you BEEN?!" Sylphina shrieked, the last word, earning us some scornful looks from the patrons.
"Here, of course. After we parted and I soothed the savage beast sealed within me I determined the play would be half over. So I moved on to our next destination. I saved you some cake."
Breathing in through flared nostrils, Sylphina exhaled slowly. "Dear, please tell us that before you run off. We spent the last several hours wondering if a detachment of the Guard would find you in pieces after we finally reported you missing!" she managed to keep more or less a normal volume that time but the intensity was still there.
"Surely you jest. Nothing that lives in this place could possibly contest my dominance," she replied with heaping scorn.
Frankly, I agreed with her outside two or three very blonde exceptions, but it put a damper on the rest of the trip.
When we got back to the castle the sun was low on the horizon, and I passed the gates to find a messenger waiting for me from the Eldest Blonde.
Duchess Claire Sinfonia's private rooms probably cost more than my family's apartment rent for approximately our combined lifetimes. Not tacky, overdone gold leaf and gemstones, that was for New Money I'd learned. Her tastes in décor ran to hardwood from trees older than some civilizations, stained and polished to a warm glow before being strategically relief carved to bring out the natural patterns in the wood. Stuff that was kept in families almost as old, and basically never went on the market to anyone outside the very tip of the social pyramid.
The lady herself was still dressed in the white suit from earlier today, though she'd removed the mantle and sword belt to hang over her chair back. On my arrival being announced she set whatever she was working on aside and dismissed the servant with a wave.
"Good evening, Sir Sato." She gestured at the cut glass decanter on a table standing in the center of several armchairs, containing something a lot more alcoholic than the beer in the Village I'd been sampling. "Help yourself, please."
Reasoning that she wasn't likely to poison me right before a meeting with Iris, I did just that.
As I waited for her to cross the room and take her seat, there was a knocking at the door.
Iris' turn
The sun had faded as I let myself into Claire's private study, finding Kazuma already there with a pair of whiskey glasses between the two of them. Without a word, Claire poured out another glass, which Kazuma obligingly used a bit of Freeze on.
"Thank you," I said, slipping into the open chair between them. "It's rather late, so I'd like to keep this short for all our sakes. Claire, I believe you were investigating the material requirements for the railroad plan."
She nodded, sipping at her drink. "For the lizards, possibly, they need some meat in their diet so lizards will always be more expensive than even the best horseflesh. But they breed faster as well, only about a year from fresh egg to maturity."
"Excellent. See what kind of time scale expanding the ranches and labor would take."
"For the metal and manufacturing I wish I could bring better news. The smiths I spoke to agreed that a solid iron rail as you described would weigh between forty and fifty kilos, nearly as much metal as two suits of our standard plate. Once one imagines how many meters there are between here and the nearest of the march forts…well, it would be cheaper to refit the entire Guard. Building such a project would bankrupt us long before we suffered the consequences of diverting our entire production of iron to the task."
I flinched involuntarily at the thought. I'd had no idea there was that much metal involved and I really should have realized it.
There was a dejected silence as we digested the bad news, before Kazuma spoke up.
"How big are your army's wagons? About the size of what I saw the merchants using in the Crimson Demon Village?"
"Many of those merchants use surplus army wagons taken out of service, so yes, most likely," Claire agreed. "Why do you ask?"
"Because…" he began, staring out the window as he absently re-cooled his drink. "The trains back home were massive. I'm talking about thousands of tons. The rails had to be steel, not iron, to take the weight for years and years. But those wagons are what? Ten tons each?"
"Loaded weight, yes. Empty is half that," I mused. "Wood bridges or corduroy roads support them perfectly well all the time on campaign."
"You'd want some metal, the rails could split if you put the weight on them directly," he reminded me.
"But just a metal cap would be fine for that, less than a tenth as much! And any smithy or carpentry shop in the kingdom can make the parts!" I smiled back at him and enjoyed the bit of pink I got in reply. "I'm glad we discussed this, I hate to think we might have wasted time before finding the answer."
He gave me a conflicted look. "Ir…Your majesty," he amended before Claire could snap. "I believed our plan was to bring down the Demon King's barriers by attacking his Generals."
"And we will, they'll be expecting us to do just that after all. It's the logical, and really only option." I grinned at him, and added "Until now. There are other ways into his lair than kicking in the front door, we've just never been able to take advantage of them because they're too hard to bring supplies through."
He started nodding along as I spoke. "Bring the supplies by rail, which is a lot faster and more efficient, and you can pick somewhere without a giant magic fortress blocking the way. But then why bother…." He halted, and began to smile. "Because the longer we show them exactly what they expect to see, 'bring in a Hero, attack the Generals, lead an assault', the less likely they are to notice our real plan. I like it."
"Exactly. They are unlikely to be able to cover their entire frontier with proper fortifications soon enough to matter, but I see no reason at all to give them an instant more warning than I must."
I'd noticed Claire looking sicker and sicker as our conversation went on, so I turned to her. "Do relax, I intend to have some smaller scale testing done before we commit everything. The larger mines and river ports would surely benefit from being able to move freight more efficiently, so it won't even truly be a loss."
"That…of course, your majesty," she agreed faintly. "That is one of my concerns. That said, I would much like to have a further discussion with Sir Sato on any further specifics he might be able to share."
Kazuma's turn
Iris agreed readily, and wished us good night.
As the door closed behind her, Claire's expression tightened, signaling a conversation that I was probably going to want more booze for.
"I believe it's time we had a frank talk."
Author's note:
Sylphina appears in Volume 12 of the novels but she's basically a blank slate. I took that as an invitation to see what a nice little girl raised by wolves Darkness might be like.