Iris' turn
Belzerg's Cathedral of Eris also doubled as the kingdom's mint. Surrounded by a substantial circular wall pierced by only one gatehouse, it was designed as much for the manufacturing and security of its contents as it was the needs of the ceremonies performed within.
It also had its own barrier much like the palace's, still active and glowing faintly blue as we approached the gates. Unlike the one protecting the demon king's castle we couldn't leave either barrier active full time, but it was every bit as powerful.
I raised a hand and pushed lightly on it; a sip of my mana being taken in exchange for opening a port. Once the last of us passed by I cut the flow and let it close behind us.
Within was the cathedral proper, rising several stories in what Kazuma had called a parthenon when I'd described it to him. The heavy gates stood open against the shining limestone walls as we entered, the way ahead of us cleared already.
We made a sorry sight against the cleanly swept floors and polished stone pews and columns, with me in a borrowed cloak and not much else besides blood and rags and the rest of us little better off.
Fortunately, the archbishop was nothing if not efficient even when he wasn't absent healing the injured. So we found plain but fresh clothes and a chance to clean up waiting for us before convening in a private room with my aides and sending the others to rest.
"Teleport denial over the city will stay up until tomorrow night, by then I expect to have anyone who might have had access to the challenges and countersigns in custody or otherwise accounted for," Claire began once we were seated. "I…I'm afraid I can't apologize enough for a failure this great. To have not one, but two generals successfully infiltrate the city, and then attack the palace…"
Rain and I shared a look as she continued to speak, as though the blame for every bit of rubble or spot of blood should be laid at her feet. I sighed to myself and admitted that much of it would be. The Prime Minister serves at the monarch's pleasure as the rest of the cabinet does. But while most ministers are generally blamed for problems that happen within their domains, the PM receives criticism for almost everything that goes wrong.
Given my selfish choice, Captain Mitsurugi would be my pick to fall on his sword for allowing so much damage to the palace he was assigned to protect, but so far as I could tell he had done everything correctly if not brilliantly. Facing a coordinated attack by two generals would tax any defense, especially in the face of having one of his companies removed to guard me on the other side of the city.
"Claire, the peerage can and will fall on this as a chance to demand your removal. It would hardly be the first time. But you should know by now that you still retain my trust and favor. Both of you. This was a failure of our spycatchers to be sure, and there will be consequences for those who failed their charge. Let blame remain with those who have earned it, among us at the least."
At their seated bows, I continued. "Now then. This device that they brought that allowed them to bypass our teleport denial, what do we know of it?"
"Having its barrier forcibly destroyed did it no favors I'm afraid," Rain answered. "Even before it went through a battle against your majesty. Luckily, Megumin claimed to recognize the effect as similar to a tool her parents made in the past. With Eris' grace we might know more once they can be interviewed and make appropriate countermeasures."
"A pity Sir Kazuma's Steal misfired," Claire mused. "An intact example might have saved us all a great deal of trouble."
"Steal is a notoriously fickle skill," I agreed, and resolved not to mention what he'd gotten instead. Claire had enough tendency to hover over my affairs as it was. "As it is we shall hope for the best. At the least, one less general faces us and another was at least wounded before being driven away."
Despite my best efforts and those of some of the best wizards and warriors we had. I'd never faced Hans the Last Poison Slime personally before today, and a part of me hadn't quite believed the stories. No longer.
As I had arrived at the run with the vanguard from those at the Parade Ground I found utter devastation. The very flagstones of the space around the walls had been eaten through in places where he'd sat for too long, along with the metal bits of gear that had warped like butter left in the sun on being exposed to the monstrosity. Of leather, wood, or the owners nothing had remained. A constant barrage of magic of all types pounded him. Flames flashed whole horse troughs full of him to steam at a time, ice crystals bloomed and shattered more. Wind blades sliced, and lightning thundered, and he bore the brunt of it as though it were merely a rainstorm. Simply closing the gaps the attacks made and replying with volleys of noxious globs that smoked and hissed on armor, and prompted frantic calls for healers and purification.
I hadn't been able to stay and match blades, only launching a Holy Burst at him in passing that made his entire body ripple and hesitate. He replied with a barrage of his own, dense as a hailstorm. I weaved and ducked as I passed at top speed and entered the gatehouse, but not without getting the worst of the exchange, though my resistances kept his toxins from being more than an inconvenience at that dose.
"Even with Komekko assisting with her advanced spells, any amount of intermediate magic was pointless," Rain said, unknowingly agreeing with me. "I would hesitate to count on him being wounded, certainly not for long."
"No, no we cannot," I glumly agreed, pondering. Direct attack had been fruitless, and the purification magic I saw had done little. But what else would you use on what was basically a mobile blob of polluted water…
"You are not considering pursuing Hans personally, are you?" Claire asked carefully.
"We can't let this stand," I answered more calmly than I felt. "We can and will patch the hole in our defense, but selling the defeat of another general as a victory is going to be difficult in the face of the damage done. Not to mention the need to prove that attacks of this nature are too expensive for them to afford, unless we wish a…"
Rain was horrified, but Claire was apoplectic. "Then I suggest you question Tina about what happened the last time we put together a kill quest for him! And why Duchess Emily is no longer with us!"
"Lady Claire!" Rain snapped, but Claire kept on.
"I will not have it!" She drew herself up and stared me down. "Emily's family specialized in killing poisonous creatures of all types. None more so than her. And yet even she fell before Hans, and gained him his generalship in the bargain!"
"Do you deny something must be done? If not, then whom would you send?" I asked coldly. "Tina? In her condition? Or Sylphina? Barely risen to her new rank? Or is there some other person of whom I am unaware who has the necessary Skills and resistance?"
Claire set her jaw, and I knew I was in trouble. "I do deny that something must be done right this minute. Let the peerage and proles say what they might. Let losing Wolbach be enough of a deterrent. Your…Iris. You are my Lady, my queen, and the child I never had. I refuse to lose you; the kingdom would never survive it. I would never survive it. I don't pretend to be able to stop you if your course is set on this, but I will not be a party to this folly. Should you choose to pursue General Hans personally I shall resign my position as Prime Minister effective immediately."
Kazuma's turn
The sun was bright, and the sky was clear two days after the attack.
"One who is darker than twilight
One who is redder than flowing blood
Buried in the flow of time
In thy great name,
I hereby pledge myself to darkness…"
"No, no…hmm…" Megumin stood a few paces away, muttering to herself.
"Heed me now, thou who is darker than dusk,
Heed that which is more red than blood,
In the name of that which has been buried in the bottomless abyss of time eternal,
I summon thee, Master of the ultimate darkness…"
"Better," she muttered, before scribbling on a notepad again.
"Today, MiniMeg," I called out to the drama queen. Ears flattening on instinct, she turned to glare at me relaxing under a tree.
"This is a delicate operation! The precise wording of an Explosion spell's chant is crucial to the potency and control of magic of such power! And so is quiet and concentration to work out its intricacies!" Muttering again, she turned back to her notes, tracing gestures in the air as she did.
I glanced at Komekko beside me with a raised eyebrow.
"It does matter, sort of," she whispered to me. "But mostly I freestyle my summoning chants nowadays. It keeps things interesting."
That I believed. Around us golems carted away rubble and moved freshly quarried stone into the palace complex. Others worked alongside mortal masons fitting them into place and shoring up the damaged sections. The Ambassadorial Annex, I'd finally learned the proper name, seemed by consensus to be a total writeoff, having been right next to the throwdown between Iris and Wolbach and eaten more than its share of collateral damage for that poor decision. But it had shielded some of the palace proper in the process, and survey work was underway to determine what needed to be done to make this side livable again.
The remains of the grove of pine trees near one wall gave a little shade as we stayed out of the way of the reconstruction work. Well, Megumin and I did. Rain and Iris were both busy and tight lipped about what with, and Sylphina was at the cathedral. Komekko had just come off a shift ordering golems around, having sensed low level magic in the air and gotten curious.
"Hey," the younger clanswoman said just as softly. "Thank you." I turned again, to find her looking at me steadily, not a hint of bluster or humor on her face. "For keeping her safe. I…I'm still angry with her. Maybe I always will be. But I couldn't stand to lose her again, not like this. She said you protected her with some clever spellwork, and spent a small fortune doing it too. Before you ran off to try and get yourself blown up."
I looked away and cleared my throat. "Wasn't my fortune, I didn't earn it." Had it given to me as part of my pay and equipment, sure. But I hadn't done anything besides show up. "And I had a perfectly good plan. It just didn't work."
Komekko snorted. "If a stupid plan that works isn't stupid, then what does that make a smart plan that doesn't?"
"That blue guard guy liked it. Said it was very heroic to face a general in single combat."
"Single plus twenty other guys to keep you company. And Captain Mitsurugi is…"
"Ok, ok. Fine. I was a dumbass who got lucky. You've seen my Adventurer card, that's a skill too."
Oh, blackness shrouded in light...
Frenzied blaze clad in night...
In the name of the Crimson Demons, let the collapse of thine origin manifest.
Summon before me the root of thy power hidden within the lands of the kingdom of demise!
"HA! HAHA!" Megumin cackled. "Now we're getting somewhere!"
I sighed, and went back to the meatball sandwich I'd been enjoying. Megumin had inhaled hers like a starving kitten before getting back to work on making her chant as cringy as possible, bits of sauce still on her face.
Komekko stood up and grabbed my beer. Before I could gripe, she pulled a rag out of her pocket and poured a little out on it, then pushed it into my hands and strode off to her sister.
"Sit still. You're a grown woman, at least eat like one" she muttered and wiped Megumin's face briskly. Finishing, she tucked the rag away again. "Do you not seek archaic knowledge in the Archives, still?" she asked pointedly.
I nodded, not bothering to hide my smirk at her retreating into Crimson Demon speak as she turned away from us.
That, sadly, was my cue to pack up too. Finishing my sandwich and drink I stood as well. With Komekko here to take over Megu-sitting I had no more excuse to avoid my assignment.
Claire had me looking up anything related to General Hans, the giant blob of doom that had made a mess of the palace gates, and the more I read the worse it got. Not only was he the highest bounty of any of the generals, he seemed to have it in for the Ford-Dustiness family in particular. As specialists in killing poisonous creatures, they were pretty much his natural enemy and he made it his personal mission to wipe them out by the look of it.
As for why I was having to dig all this up myself? Well, that brought up something I never thought much about. Even as a high school dropout, I had a decade of education across all kinds of subjects. Not that a lot of them were worth anything now, but it meant I'd done my share of book reports and library searches. Compared to most non nobles learning the alphabet and a little basic math at the local church at best I, or one of my transplanted countrymen, was as good as it got except for a professional scholar.
So there I was, reliving my junior high days writing out Kokkoro's hidden meanings, when the lady in question sent me a message summoning me to her office.
Ancient Blonde was waiting for me at her desk, not at the little conversation nook she met Iris and I last time. Feeling vaguely like I'd been called to the principal's office, I stood impatiently in front of her.
She didn't play the 'wait for me to finish what I'm doing' game, luckily. Claire signed something or other and set it aside once she sprinkled a little sand on it to dry. Though her looking down her nose at me wasn't a huge upgrade over being ignored.
"What are your findings?" she asked without bothering with a greeting. This was going to go well, I could already tell.
"Your filing system could use some work, for one. But I think I found everything there on Hans. He's a piece of work, but I don't have to tell you that. He's also near impossible to track since he keeps changing appearance, and if there's a way to kill the guy without turning most of the Clan loose on him I haven't found it yet."
"No, you do not," she agreed tersely. "I knew some of his victims quite well. I asked you to conduct this search because I have a task for you."
I made a 'go on' gesture, which made her lips tighten in disapproval. Imagine how little I cared.
"With the recent attack on the capital, we must have a way to reassure the people that such things will not happen again. Her majesty believes that killing Wolbach is helpful, but hardly enough. Hans has been a blight on the land for far too long, neutralizing him and avenging all who fell against him would be a mighty boost indeed."
My stomach had been freefalling towards my boots from the start of that sentence, it hit terminal velocity when she went put on her most formal tone.
"You are charged with finding and eliminating General Hans, using whatever methods you deem fit. The party her majesty gathered is at your disposal. For anything further you have only to ask, within reason. Fail not in this task at your peril."
"I….I'm in charge. Me. Are you completely…Why would I be in charge over Ir-her majesty!" My voice began to rise, and certainly not crack, as that thought hit me.
"Don't be a fool, her majesty will not be present." Claire snorted derision at mere thought. For once, I agreed with her. "The next most senior adventurer would be Archwizard Komekko. Perhaps you'd prefer her to be in command?" Claire suggested dryly with a twist to her lips dangerously close to a smirk.
I thought about that. Crimson Demon Komekko, friend to all things scaly, horned, and/or terrifying. With final authority over all our lives. I shuddered.
"I thought not. Sylphina has hardly more adventuring experience than you either. And with your existing record, you're the natural choice." She spread her hands in a 'what can you do' gesture. "The decision largely makes itself."
She wasn't wrong about that. I'd been leaning on taking on Seresdina to justify me even being here, but sooner or later somebody was always going to ask 'what have you done for us lately?' That time had come, it looked like.
"And her majesty approved of staying behind?" I asked quizzically. It didn't sound like her, but while I doubted Claire would go behind her back quite this blatantly there was no harm in checking. Sure enough, she slid over a sealed note that carried Iris' seal. "Begrudgingly I admit, but yes she did. Her writ to requisition what you might require for the task, subject to her approval."
I nodded, taking the note. "And what do I receive in return when I come back?" I half expected Claire to express disbelief at the thought given what I knew about Hans so far. Instead, she sighed, and showed the first sign of vulnerability I'd ever seen from her.
"Besides the bounty, which is quite substantial as you know, I…House Sinfonia will withdraw any objections to an engagement between you and her majesty," she ground out as though merely speaking the words physically pained her. "Completing the task would prove you worthy of marrying into the Royal line. Furthermore, her majesty has been unwed and without an heir for too long. Without a more appropriate candidate…" she grimaced again. "We must make do where we can."
"Thanks for the vote of confidence," I said with all the sarcasm I could muster. Sweeping myself into a formal bow in the best style Rain taught me, I replied with just the slightest hint of mockery. "Milady's and her majesty's trust shall not be proven misplaced. I accept my charge and will endeavor to fulfill it in spite of the grave peril it represents."
And with that I turned on my heel and showed myself to the door.
The next day, reality set in.
Hans had soloed a company of Royal Guard plus Komekko and gotten out alive. Granted, she hadn't brought her friends along, but that was still damned worrying.
I spent the morning babysitting turning over what I'd learned already, and making a list of what I might want. It was slow going, and I kept getting a tickle in the back of my mind like I was forgetting something when a very chunni voice interrupted me.
"What troubles you this fine morning?" Megumin asked, curling herself up near me.
At my confused look, she cleared her throat and looked away. "You haven't complained once about my chant practice. Since Komekko tells me you are never one to suffer in silence I can only assume something is terribly wrong."
"And?" I asked after a minute.
"And, what is the problem? Come now, tell me all about it," she prompted eagerly, ears quivering and tail lashing the grass under us.
I set down my pen and gave her a skeptical look. "I get plenty of the big sis treatment from Sylphina as it is, and she's seventeen."
"I would have you tell me how old you think I am."
Knowing a no win situation when I heard it, I just gave her a flat look until she snapped "I'm twenty five, and a real big sister! Come on, I'm bored to tears here! If it weren't for fixing up my chant I'd have gone crazy days ago, and that's finished now!" she pleaded, giving me the kind of big sad eyes generations of evolution had given house cats to manipulate their staff.
And it worked, damn her.
"Fine. I have a new job, and I'm not sure how to do it. It's dangerous, and if I don't get it right a lot of people are going to die."
Instead of backing off and letting me work she leaned in even more excitedly, and I had to remind myself that under the tall furry ears and gold eyes was a Crimson Demon.
Reasoning that with her under watch there wasn't any harm, I went on. "I'm going after Hans. We need him gone to reassure people the capital is safe, and that we're finally winning."
Megumin lost the bright glitter in her eyes, and her posture closed up like a book snapping shut. And I remembered too late that she was another of his victims too.
I wanted to take up my pen again and let the moment pass, but she spoke up softly. "Take me with you."
"Excuse me?"
"I said take me with you! I'm not doing anything here, nobody will miss me! And I can help!"
"By doing what? I don't know what I'll need yet but a taco cart probably isn't going to be one of them."
Before I could react she darted in and started knocking on my skull like it was a castle gate. "HELLO! Is anyone in there? Can I talk to someone who remembers what I've been practicing the last several days?!"
I swatted her hand away and she backed up a step, though still on her knees glaring at me. "You said you couldn't cast Explosion. Hadn't in years." I snapped. "And I've lived with your clan for weeks, are you really going to tell me you wouldn't waste time making up a ridiculous chant for something you couldn't use?"
"I…" she frowned, and maybe blushed a little in embarrassment. "Fine. But I haven't cast it because I couldn't or Wolbach might find me. That was then, this is now! I can use it, and better than ever!" She gave me a smirk that said she knew she'd won. "And I remember some of what Wolbach knew before."
I abandoned any thought of blowing her off and restarting my list. "Start talking."
Megumin grinned and waved a finger back and forth chidingly. "Do we have a deal?"
"Lie to me and I'm going to have a new fur rug, capiche?" I countered.
"I'm only furry on my ears and tail, freak," she sniffed. While I wondered why she bothered with long sleeves and gloves then, she went on. "But here's the thing. Chomusuke sent me an invitation to join up with her and I accepted, so I came over in one piece. Wolbach…didn't. She fought tooth and nail to keep from having her soul re-merge with Chomusuke, and I think a lot of her didn't make it. But I do know she and Hans were planning to meet up at a safehouse near Klassenberg maybe a week from now. I don't know why or what they were planning, maybe they thought with Wolbach having Chomusuke back they could challenge the fortress?" she shrugged helplessly.
I chewed at my lip. Then bowed still seated. "Welcome aboard. I'll need to see your Explosion in action, but neutralizing Hans should be…"
Neutralizing.
Megumin was saying something, but I shushed her and tuned her out. A bunch of the reports all said something about Hans smelling like brimstone. I didn't think anything about it, but what if that mattered? He had some kind of corrosive thing he attacked with. What if at least some of it was sulfuric acid? Every grade school kid in the western world has done the baking soda and vinegar volcano thing at least once. If I could find enough of a strong base…
I looked up, and stared into her surprised and curious gaze. "You've lived here for years, right?"
She nodded.
"Where's the nearest soap works?"