Iris' turn

Many times during my preparation for engagement with Prince Revi, and of course more recently with Kazuma, I was told that all couples fight occasionally, and it was usually nothing to worry about. Leaving aside the advice Aunt Lalatina gave, I honestly believed we were both adults and could work out our problems without it turning into a shouting match.

Not…necessarily so.

It started at a proper hour, with the sun over half clear of the horizon.

I had surprised him by dropping by his chambers for breakfast. After one of the servants let me into the parlor he emerged, bleary eyed and shuffling, though in his fresh clothes.

"Gmrnin," he mumbled a greeting, along with a frown as he rubbed sleep from his eyes.

"Good morning, dear. I missed you at table lately and came to share breakfast. Perhaps privately?" I suggested, inclining my head at his bedroom door. Time together had been hard to come by, and I hated to waste the daylight.

He perked up slightly at that, and followed me into his bedroom. Once the maid had placed a tray on the small table on one wall and closed the door behind us, I smiled brightly and served myself a cheese pastry.

"I do hope we can come to an agreement with Brydle today," I began, as my fiancé did the same. I kept up a stream of small talk as we ate, trying to draw him out, though all I got in return was the occasional word or even singular syllables.

Finally, I paused in cutting off a piece of tart and regarded him flatly. "I am accustomed to a bit more give and take in our conversations. What could possibly be the matter?"

"Iris, I…am barely conscious this early," he groaned. "I just got to bed maybe three hours ago. Can we just not?"

My lips pursed in irritation, eyes narrowing, I snapped, "What under heaven is important enough to keep you up that late?!"

"It's the only time I don't have people pestering me and I can get the work from you and her prissiness done!"

"Do that during working hours! That's what they're for!" Not that a fair amount of our duties didn't fall outside those times, but honestly!

"Well, I might be fake royalty, but are you the queen of Belzerg or not?! Working hours can be whenever you say they are!"

I felt the blood rush to my face at the sheer gall as I stood. I dropped my utensils and snapped back, "Indeed I am and I dare you to suggest otherwise! And how dare you further suggest our betrothal is a lie!"

The escalating verbal battle that followed might have forced me to clap him in irons for lése majesté had the room not been soundproofed for happier reasons.

At any rate, after I stormed out and the simmering anger of the afternoon and evening gave way to a frozen night apart, a sick, empty void took its place. That being right, and I had been, was a victory I wanted no part of if it meant feeling like this.

Combined with the nagging, unbanishable fear that this might be the first step of a downward spiral to a marriage of duty and grim endurance, it had been a long, restless night.

The next two days brought meetings that had none of the discussion and sharing of ideas I had come to cherish, and private times of brief, tense contact and as little of that as possible.

Finally Claire, of all people, had intervened.

I arrived at my prime minister's office as I had many times for an after hours invitation with more than a little worry. Claire could have a tongue like a razor, after all, and sadly she and Kazuma were the stereotypical groom and mother-in-law. No matter how advantageous it would be for them to mesh better.

I found Kazuma waiting outside, his countenance as strained as my own. He met my gaze with a wan, fleeting little smile, but before either of us could say anything further Lady Claire opened the doors herself and ushered us inside, directing us to the conversation nook and taking the seat across from us.

"Your majesty, your highness. My thanks for joining me. Ordinarily, I might offer some spirits to unwind, but I hope you both agree tonight's topic requires clear heads."

I nodded, beside me Kazuma did the same a bit more warily. Or at least more openly warily. I wasn't entirely sure where she was going myself.

"Excellent. Then if I might be so bold as to ask, what under Eris' loving gaze were you thinking?"

I couldn't help a flinch as Lady Claire didn't so much cut to the heart of the matter as take a battleaxe to it. And while she might have directed her question at Kazuma, I didn't miss the glance she gave me as she said it. In the game of subtleties she as much as anyone had taught me as a girl, that was as good as a pointed finger under my nose.

"You may not be aware, your highness, but there is no true privacy in this place." she continued, still in the guise of educating Kazuma while tactfully reminding me of things I should have learned long since. "Even if the exact content of your disagreement remains undisclosed, anyone with eyes can see that the pair of you went into his highness' chambers content in each other, and not only left in a high dudgeon but have barely spoken to each other since. Word travels quickly, and bad news swifter still. It will be no surprise at all if some of the Usual Suspects start making discreet inquiries, and perhaps positioning themselves to take advantage if this continues. Passing over for the moment what disagreement escalated to such a state I must ask: Was it worth this?"

"No. No it wasn't," Lady Claire had asked Kazuma, but I answered instead. "Not the past days being angry and hurt, never mind the mess we might have to clean up later."

Kazuma nodded agreement. "No," he said quietly. "Not even close."

"Sanity emerges. Then the next obvious question is what brought this on at all. Until now I've never seen a hint of such discord lurking between you."

"Very well," I turned to look at Kazuma and took a breath to center myself. "What I cannot abide even now is your claim that our betrothal was meaningless. You are no more a fake member of the royal family than I am, or at least shall be soon."

'Unfortunately,' Claire muttered, though the hearing gifted me by my lineage meant I caught it anyway. I sent her a warning look, and she hastily said in a normal tone "Indeed so. Even in better days a marriage to a royal or ducal line was a high honor, granted only to the most powerful and capable warriors and wizards the kingdom had to offer. It would be the height of folly to misuse such people afterwards by reducing them to mere ciphers in their new Houses. Now more than ever the royal family has need of every able hand."

Kazuma frowned in thought. "You've both said that before, but you of all people know how much luck was involved, and how much I don't know about how to do this!"

"Then learn," I rejoined. "If a literal wild man can learn to function in the role, you have no excuse. And if you examine your adventurer's card, you'll find Luck is a skill like any other." I sighed, and gave a small bow of the head. "All that said, it was my fault to not ask you to clarify before taking offense. And I should have realized how overwhelming this must be for you."

Claire winced at the reminder of her 'unpolished' recent ancestor. "Duke Hektor would not have been my choice of example. However, the point remains. Do not think you can escape your duties so easily." She cleared her throat, regarding us both. "I think perhaps that is all that needs to be said. There was some less pressing business however…"

Sometime later, we bade our hostess goodnight. As we passed out the doors, Kazuma made so bold as to thank her for her help earlier, to which she replied:

"You know perfectly well I did not do so for your sake, your highness. Furthermore, never think I shall clean up all your messes. The next time I have to bail you out of some damned fool thing it shall cost you."

I chose to believe that was perhaps an improvement of sorts, since she hadn't refused outright.

At any rate as we made our way down the hall, I turned to my fiancé as he did the same to me. "Well, if as she says I'm a condemned man, at least I'm lucky enough to have the finest jailor in the land. That's worth waking up for," he said with a chuckle. A pale imitation of his usual irreverence, but definitely a move in the right direction.

I returned an unimpressed look at his so-called humor, but couldn't help a little smile anyway. "I'll hold you to that. Especially if you give the chamberlain a faint by going to the kitchen for a sandwich yourself in the deep of the night. Again. And earn your poor attendant another tongue lashing for failing her duties," I reminded him.

"I told you I didn't want to use the servant's bell after…"

I gave him a pointed look.

"Fine, fine. I'll remember to use the bell. Even if it's just to make someone walk all the way to the kitchens and back because I got hungry," he grudgingly agreed. "And I won't promise to be up with the sun every day, but if I can get a decent amount of time without people insisting on meeting me, then I'll manage something."

"Easier said than done, I'm afraid. But perhaps that can be arranged." If nothing else his chief attendant should be managing his schedule better than that, but if he wasn't that could be remedied very quickly.

"'ppreciate it," he said, stifling a yawn. It had grown late, and the morrow would come whether we liked it or not. He gave me a questioning look as we reached the top of the stairs to the royal quarters.

"Not tonight," I said with a shake of the head. "I think we'd both like to recover with a decent night."

He nodded, conceding the point with another somewhat bigger yawn. "See you at breakfast then. Privately?" he suggested.

I arched an eyebrow and glided away.

Let him wonder. He'd find me there soon enough.

Kazuma's turn

One of the first things I learned about being Iris' plus one is that she doesn't sleep with a dagger under her pillow.

But only because she keeps her sword propped next to the bed. Which I admit did spice up our first few nights together. But it also says a hell of a lot about the kind of place Belzerg is, when even the queen always keeps a weapon in easy reach.

One of the other things I quickly learned is that you don't really move in with royalty. I had my own chambers, which was really more like a suite with a parlor bigger than my family's apartment back in Japan. While we visited back and forth frequently, it was expected in the high nobility that a couple each needed their own space and set of personal servants. Which given the nature of most political matches was probably smart.

Either way, it meant neither of us subjected the other to morning breath and bedhead on the regular. And while Iris made 'just woke up' look fantastic, I needed a little help in the mornings. Or a lot of help.

Today, like I had for the last week, I awoke in my chambers well before noon. Yes, I know. No, I'm not being drugged. Probably.

Unless Alfred's tea counted. I'm not sure where it's grown, and I've never had the heart to ask what horrifyingly dangerous process is needed to harvest the stuff. But it almost, almost, made facing the accursed Daystar worth it.

I rose and pulled on a robe over my pajamas, the nicest I'd ever worn and a present from Iris, I had only barely gotten used to owning. Per our arrangement, my new chief attendant had left a large mug beside a stack of papers on the table in the parlor.

"And 'ere we have the Japanese HikkiNEET in 'is na'ive habitat. This one is a bit on the small side, but just look at tha' amazin' coloration! 'at tanned skin, 'at means 'e's a rare 'un!" a disgustingly poor rendition of an Australian accent assaulted me as I took my first sip. I knew she was doing it on purpose, I'd heard her mimic the speech of everyone from a craftsman here doing detailed repairs on the palace to Claire and Rain's perfect noble-ese like she was replaying a recording.

In the corner of my vision a window appeared, showing the blue haired goddess-in-name-only I'd expected.

"Dammit Aqua, some of these are actual state secrets!" I snapped, flipping over a page. "I'm going to be really pissed if you're showing these on your stream, right up until I get hung!"

I halted, but it was of course too late. Aqua snerked, giving me a skeptical look.

"I thought you were a pure goddess," I grumbled, flushing. "And I haven't had any complaints, I'll have you know."

"She wouldn't. And besides, Iris can't hang you! Even at your level your neck is too strong to break from just a short drop!"

Exactly the image I needed first thing in the morning.

"But no, I won't stream boring paperwork stuff," she assured me.

Or the fight, which I'd been a little surprised to learn when I asked fearfully after Iris left. Back home a reality show producer would've jumped on that in a hot second. But Aqua had only said her channel was about having fun, and there was nothing fun about people hurting.

"So you're bored, and came to bother me," I said instead.

"Grace you with my divine presence you mean! See, the stain on your napkin just…"

"So help me, if you purify my tea I'm switching to Eris!" I snapped, hastily setting it down and pushing it across the table. "And who would even be watching me at this point anyway? It's not like I've done much of anything exciting since we signed the papers."

"Oh you'd be surprised! Eris joins in on every stream, for one. If we were able to get crushes, I'd be sure she has one! And good luck changing over, I warned her off poaching you already! But she really liked you snookering Seresdina!"

That was flattering I guess, but… "Wait, that was way before I met you. Before I even came here…You uploaded my memories too?!" I squeaked. I mean, shouted manfully.

"Just the fun ones! Which, well there weren't that many before you came here anyway," she agreed sadly. But then she perked back up, none of her moods ever lasting long "Anyway! You're also popular with my top followers! Especially the ones still in Old Arcanretia on the cleanup, they really enjoyed you sticking it to that nasty Hans! And with my soap ingredients even! Even better, with him dead some of the pollution has stopped regenerating! We should totally go visit them and give thanks for their hard work!"

At some point in her monologue I realized I'd dropped my head onto the table, fortunately well away from my still mostly full tea mug. I had a so-called goddess with the impulse control of a toddler ransacking my mind for content. This was my life now.

At least the food was good.

As if by magic, which for all I knew it actually was, a man entered with a knock as I had the thought, carrying a covered tray.

"Good morning, Your Highness," he paused, seeing my state. "Ah, is everything quite alright? I shall summon the healer if…"

"No, no. I'm just…how would you say it? Contemplating the vagaries of life. What do you have today, Alfred?" I replied, straightening.

Seeming to take me at my word, he came the rest of the way over. "Today we have griffin cheese and a selection from the castle bakery with butter and apple jam. Please enjoy," he placed the tray on the table and whisked the cover off, steam still rising from the bread, before bowing and leaving the room.

I called him Alfred, but here that was actually a title here rather than a name. Behind him came a pair of maids to straighten up the bedroom while I ate, a suspicious part of me noting that I'd yet to see one under about forty. Which I'm sure was a coincidence.

For his part, the Alfred was actually a grayed older man named Wilhelm and was not what you'd call a conventional butler. For one thing, even someone as unused to violence as I was two months ago would've probably noticed that the scars that peeked past the black and silver uniform covering him from neck to ankles didn't come from a butterknife accident. And I'd have given pretty good odds there were plenty more underneath.

That said, he was a consummate professional and not prone to small talk while I was still trying to wake up, so I didn't ask too many questions about what his old job was when he replaced the previous one.

The final surprising part of my new life was that it turned out royalty, even fake royalty, had basically zero free time even with someone screening the social visits.

I stopped myself there with a wince. I was reasonably sure that reading thoughts wasn't a skill here, but not totally willing to risk it. And after our talk I wasn't sure how strongly I still felt like that anyway.

I still called it blind, stupid luck that dragged me out of a guaranteed customer service hell for the next fortyish years until either heart disease, stroke, or depression won the race to take me down. Instead, I had a job and life I could be proud of, even if I still sometimes woke up at night wondering how the other-me Iris remembered stood the pressure. If anyone could know it was Iris herself, something to ask, maybe.

Still, for now I'd make the best of what I'd gotten, deserved or not, and took up the first of the day's notes.

There was always something that just had to have someone allegedly important sign off on it, and today's messages mostly had to do with the railroad project. Apparently, because Claire decided that since I'd been riding railroads all my life, I must know how to build them.

Before we were even engaged, Iris had ordered several kilometers of rail line installed between the docks of some river port and the high road leading further inland as a field trial. Overall, the results were good. Even using horses for power they could pull a heavier load than even a good paved road would allow. Not that Belzerg had a lot of good paved roads to start with, and the comparison with rutted dirt wasn't even close. So costs seemed to be significantly lower, not as much as moving cargo via waterway but still much better than a usual land route.

The biggest problem seemed to be keeping the iron caps attached to the wooden rails. While at the jogging speed horse drawn carts were moving having a cap come loose was inconvenient but usually not a big problem, at the speed of a running lizard drawn wagon it could be a disaster. The project manager, the one who wasn't me and actually knew what he was doing, thought it was solvable more or less, but a redesign of the caps would take time and use more metal so he referred it to my judgment.

Knowing I might be riding one of those rails if Iris got her way with her planned offensive, I countersigned his recommendation without a second thought and added a note that should he think of any further safety improvements he should share them immediately.

On the plus side, the extra cost might be balanced out by the feelers several of the larger merchant houses were sending our way about perhaps investing in expansions to the project.

The crown budget wasn't all that big when you came down to it. Iris essentially ran the kingdom out of her personal funds, or at least the crown owned lands and standing army. Most of Belzerg's nobles handled their own upkeep with only limited assistance from or oversight by the crown. If she could sweet talk and/or arm twist them into financing some of the military lines we'd need in exchange for preference in operating any commercial ones, that might be a bargain worth taking, I decided as I penned in my recommendation in the margin. Those decisions sounded suspiciously like Claire's problem, but for the right price I was sure something could be arranged and I gleefully added that one to the pile meant for her.

I pushed away the thought that this morning might be perilously close to the office job that ate my dad's soul. At least these reports actually mattered more than a tiny change in stock price or who got a promotion this year instead of next. That had to count for something.

Jiro's turn

I dropped my bag on the floor by the western style bed of the room Lolisa led me to, a two room connected suite in one of the towers surrounding the main courtyard.

"Nice," I said to my native guide, who had entered behind me and closed the door.

"We do try to put our best foot forward," Lolisa agreed. "I'll be right next door if you need anything, don't hesitate to ask!" she chirped, crossing to the connecting door and entering what I took to be her side, leaving it slightly ajar behind her.

I flopped down on the bed, very springy but different from even a foam mattress, contemplating the ceiling beams I'd half expected to be carved with screaming skulls, but instead had a tasteful geometric design.

I'd been running on a low key freakout since before the time I stepped onto the magic circle taking me here, since I'd agreed to go on the same wild ride Kazuma had by the look of things.

And he was the fantasy gamer nerd in the family, our parents never read anything that wasn't work, or watched anything that wasn't some family sitcom. And the closest I ever got was probably one of the big shonen titles, just so I had something to talk about if anime came up in conversation.

Most of the time I was too busy out with classmates, in cram school, or studying to worry much about other entertainment. The last two being the best way to keep my parents off my back, so they left me alone about the first.

The hell of it was, I couldn't even disagree that he was being a shitty son. Living like a parasite, refusing anything like responsibility even at home? I got why they were sick of it after four years. I was half surprised they didn't boot him out sooner, law be damned. But to just deliberately forget he ever existed the minute he was out the door? That was too far.

The sad truth? I'd had to fight them to even get a missing person report filed on Kazuma after he left. Only when I pointed out it was going to look damned weird in a small town if we didn't and hadn't heard from him in a while did dad finally go down to the station.

After that, I was done. I'd played ball with them for years, even cramming to get into the same expensive prep school an hour away by train that Kazuma flunked out of by refusing to go. Not with as good a score as him, but good enough.

And wouldn't you know it, when I got in the only one to actually congratulate me and not just huff about not blackening the family honor again was him.

Funny story, I got my college acceptance letter a few days ago, so I was going to be off to Saitama and home free in a few months. Plenty of time to track down my idiot brother, especially since Lolisa claimed the time difference was something like four to one, so even a month here would only cost me about a week back home. I wouldn't even miss the graduation ceremony.

"Jiro?" Lolisa asked from the other room. "The tailor is here to measure you."

I stifled a yawn, it wasn't that late by my usual standards but the day had been a little more stressful too. Not to mention how wound up I was just from what happened so far, a weird mix of tired and wired I remembered from the night before an exam. Not to mention life would never be so convenient as having Japanese and wherever this was local time match up. It might be late evening for me, but it had to be near dawn judging by the glow on the horizon and I wasn't looking forward to my very first case of jet lag. Teleport lag. Whatever you called it, tomorrow was going to suck.

"Sure, send them over."

"No need, I'll get it," my guide said brightly, reentering my room after having slipped into a backless dark pink dress that ended above her knees and clasped at the back of her neck.

Revealing, in addition to her tail, a set of smallish black and pink wings at around her mid back, and another smaller pink pair about the size of my hands, one on either side of her head poking out of her hair just where I'd kept feeling like something should be in her disguise. The hair was still the same color, but her eyes were now a reddish brown.

"Much better!" she chirped, giving both pairs of wings a flutter as she walked and actually lifting her bare feet off the ground briefly. "After keeping them down like that I needed a good stretch."

How even both sets together were lifting a maybe 45 kilo girl I couldn't hope to guess, but maybe when you can twist the universe around your finger with your mind that's enough?

"Like what you see?" she paused and cocked her head with a little smile, and I realized I'd been staring.

"Sorry. And yes, it's very cute," I agreed. That was always a safe thing to tell a girl, I'd found.

"I try!" she agreed, and made her way to the door to let in the actual Big Bad Wolf, straight out of a fairy tale.

Before I could scream in panic, I saw the pincushion and tape measure in his hands and around his massive neck respectively, along with his less furry but still definitely canine assistant.

Neither seemed that upset, but I reflexively stood and bowed anyway. "My apologies," I tried to be extra polite to the pointy-toothed killing machines. "It's my first time meeting someone like you."

The world's scariest tailor nodded acceptance, and without speaking got to work, while his assistant quietly recorded my measurements in a script I couldn't make heads or tails of. So much for escaping cram school.

Once the pair finished and left, I asked, dreading the answer, "Are they not allowed to talk?"

Lolisa shook her head. "They were. You just couldn't hear them. We'll need to get you a set of basic skills, but that can wait until tomorrow. Later today. For now, you probably want to let your body adjust to being here. I did when I came to this plane for the first time."

"Probably," I grunted, "but no way I'll get to sleep for hours yet. I'm not as bad as Kaz but this is still pretty early for me."

"No problem at all! In fact, this can be your first taste of magic if you want?" she suggested, coming over to where I'd sat back down on the bed.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't tempted, and really if they wanted to hurt me they had all the chances in the world.

I nodded. "Sure, thanks," and laid back, having already reflexively pulled my shoes off when I walked in.

"Then goodnight Jiro," Lolisa said softly, and touched a slim finger to my forehead. "Sleep."