CHAPTER 4:
Ramen Bowl

"We need to talk."

Trunks knew he deserved admonishment for his behavior; he knew he deserved Goku's piercing look of castigation. But no matter how old or how brave Trunks got, Goku's words still made him feel like a cowering child inside.

He felt humbled. He also felt embarrassed. Trunks knew he was better than this.

It was a long and humbling walk back to the central foyer of the temple. The mood was sullen, and Trunks tried everything he could to not to think about the painting, and its rings… and the painted string that connected them, on the ceiling of the dome.

Instead, Trunks tried to focus his thoughts on the architecture and layout of this alien temple. Everywhere Trunks looked, he saw intricate, latticed hand-carved patterns in its construction, and its vaulted ceilings had open skylights which allowed the moon's underground white light to filter into its interior.

Numerous small walk paths veered from the main hallway of the posterior wing, with their floors decorated with small mosaic tiles that curved in wave-like patterns that resembled Snake Way. They led to small interior gardens with reflection pools of clear water.

When they re-entered the main foyer, Trunks took more time to look at the walls. Trunks counted nine sides to the circular and intricately patterned hall. Afraid to look up, Trunks brought his eyes down to his feet where he saw the hall's large white marble tiles had crystals within them that refracted the white light, and sparkled with small specular highlights of varying colors.

Trunks had been willing to destroy this place. He was so selfish.

He distantly heard Goku and Pan talking to the little man, and Goku excusing himself. Trunks felt like his head was submerged in a murk, and all of his feelings were isolated behind many layers of mental walls. Trunks felt numb and defeated. His mind wandered to the thought that he once again had no control over his life.

Trunks did not bother to pause or stop as he walked toward the two large stone entry doors, which sensed his approach and slowly separated, opening inward to expose the view of the pink grassy park. It really was all very beautiful… but the blackened feelings inside Trunks were like a darkening veil. Everything Trunks saw seemed less vivid, and more desaturated.

Trunks sensed Goku following him outside. Pan had chosen to stay inside the temple to talk to the moonlander… or maybe just to avoid Trunks. He felt so ashamed.

Trunks stood by the top step that led down to the knoll below and stopped, sighing. Looking up, Trunks observed that the main city was housed within an expansive cavern, and at its pinnacle, there were several openings. Through the windows within the city's rocky ceiling, Trunks observed the sky's transition from blue to a serene purple as the sun began to set.

The air was starting to get cooler against his cheeks.

"Trunks," Goku started, and Trunks could feel the Saiyan's eyes weighing down his soul, "I'm not going to cut the fat off this. You've been more of a bad guy than good guy lately."

Trunks just sighed. He didn't have words.

"You've been really mean to us, and especially to Pan. I've tried to give you space, but you've been getting worse."

Trunks looked down to the marble steps, swallowing and just breathing. He realized that this was a moment of reckoning.

Goku's tone softened, "How can I help you feel better?"

Trunks did not know the answer to this question. He had spent his time alone trying to figure it out. While he could have said that he wanted to go home, the truth was that he dreaded returning, because he remembered how dark and lonely his life had gotten. And his dismal isolation even followed him through space on his adventure.

Trunks felt despondent. He turned his gaze to look up to Goku and responded with a tone of resignation, "I have no idea."

"Then… what would it take for you to be happy?"

That was an easy one. "If Goten were here…" Trunks honestly admitted.

"You've been talking a lot about Goten, but I don't understand," Goku sighed and then sat down on the top step. "You two weren't even talking before the trip."

Trunks let out a breath, and joined Goku to also sit on the step to the right of him, looking out at the grass before them. Some tiny kids were playing with a red ball and laughing, no more than a few feet tall. "I was hoping the trip could help us reconnect."

Goku watched him with inquiring eyes. "But why not connect with us?"

Trunks clenched his jaw. He was not prepared for this talk. He was not sure what his feelings truly were. He had not thought about opening himself to Goku and Pan. Not many people really knew Trunks for who he was. He always was mentally guarded, and the only people he truly trusted to not judge him were his sister and Goten back in the day. But even Goten did not know all of Trunks' truths. Goten had not seen Trunks' mean streak. Even Trunks was surprised by it; Trunks thought he had laid it to rest a couple years ago when he started his position at Capsule Corp. However, upon reflection, Trunks realized that he had merely suppressed his tendency to be cruel. Whatever this emptiness was inside of him, it had never truly resolved or healed.

Trunks had been grasping to Goten with a hope that the answer could be there, but there was still no guarantee. Despite how Goten made Trunks feel momentary joy, the truth is that Trunks had not been that great a friend to begin with.

Still seated on the step, Trunks leaned forward and brought his hands up to his face, to shield it, as he supported his head with his elbows propped on his knees. There was silence from Goku, and Trunks knew he needed to provide an answer to Goku's question. There just wasn't an easy one. And while he tried to form a reason why he couldn't be open, the moment he opened his mouth, words spilled out before he could think - tumbling forward with the weight of his guilt from the past forty-two days.

"I almost killed us, Goku…" Trunks' breath hitched as he realized his confession. Realizing he couldn't take the words back, he tried to maintain his composure, "The black hole... to get here… I couldn't tell you."

"What do you mean?" Goku seemed taken aback and unprepared for Trunks' words.

"I don't know what I'm doing," Trunks sighed. "I feel like I'm faking everything. I feel like I don't belong here. I feel like, with Pan here, Gohan should have come on this trip instead of me."

There was a lingering silence as Goku processed the words and Trunks wallowed in the truth that he had revealed.

When Goku spoke, it was slow and thoughtful. "I don't think you give yourself enough credit, Trunks."

"How so?" Trunks curled his fingers against his face as he continued to support it.

"We would have died on M2." Goku reflected with a reminiscing tone. "You outsmarted the bad guys. You also flew us out of there."

Trunks ruminated, recalling their harrowing escape. Goku was right.

"Sometimes…" Goku continued, "... Sometimes the journey isn't about the whole thing, but about the little parts of it. We all play a part in it."

"Mmm…" Trunks droned. Goku's words were not making him feel better.

"It's like…" Goku paused as he thought, "... making ramen."

"Ramen?" Trunks looked up finally, with a flat and unimpressed expression.

Oh no. Here's the food talk again. Trunks sighed. Goku's speeches always came back to food.

Goku spoke with his hands, gesturing to different spots in front of him, "Someone is the fire, and someone is the pot." Goku pointed to a different spot, "Someone is the water, and someone is the stuff you put in the water." His gestures swirled, "And then time goes by! And then someone else is the noodles, and then someone is the toppings!" He stopped and looked at Trunks, with his arms still out in a grand gesture. "And if any of that didn't happen, it's not ramen! Only together, we make it a complete meal."

The whole concept was absurd to Trunks. But at least Goku wasn't yelling, so Trunks humored him. "And which one am I in the ramen?"

Goku smiled, "You're the bowl!"

Trunks glowered. "I can't be the bowl. I haven't been holding us together."

Goku's smile widened as it met his eyes. "Then maybe you can start thinking of yourself as the bowl."

"I don't want to be the bowl. You're more of the bowl."

"Nuh-uh." Goku shook his head. "I'm the chopsticks."

Trunks huffed a laugh. "This metaphor is getting out of hand." Trunks couldn't help but grin a little, "It's so stupid."

"But maybe…" Goku smiled encouragingly to him. "... Why don't you try to think of yourself that way today? See if it helps."

Trunks looked to the pink grassy knoll and sighed again. His hands were fidgety. His thought went back to the fresco, and the rings. And then he thought of a ramen bowl. This was another case example of how Goku continued to surprise Trunks with intelligent concepts that stemmed from the most idiotic food ideas.

Trunks knew that whatever his next recourse would be, he needed to work toward retrieving the Dragon Ball on the other side of the purple and black electric curtain inside the temple. Goku made it clear that Trunks was not allowed to resort to violence; he could not just take the Dragon Ball and run.

The odds of a Dragon Ball falling through one of the holes at the top of the moon's surface and ending up in this temple were so infinitesimally small, that maybe there was something behind the idea of this being fate.

"Do you believe in prophecy?" Trunks looked to Goku.

"Oh, yeah!" Goku nodded. "Absolutely. One hundred percent."

"One hundred percent?" Trunks was doubtful. "What makes you so certain?"

"A few years before you were born, I went to the planet Namek and we made a wish on their Dragon Balls. The Namekian dragon was able to predict the future, to know if our wishes were made for good causes."

"Really…" Trunks' eyebrows knitted as he looked down in consideration.

"And there was also Broly. Your dad kept talking about some prophesied Super Saiyan, and then we met and fought him. Remember him?"

"Broly?" Trunks shook his head, "No, I heard of him, but never met him."

"Oh yeah," Goku looked up to the city's ceiling. "That was the other you."

Trunks knew that the "other" Trunks was the one who had come back from the future in a time machine to save Goku's life from his heart disease - "Future Trunks." His other version traveled through time to change Trunks' future, or at least, to give a chance for a better future. His future version was, in his own way, a hero that saved the world.

Trunks did not remember meeting him; he was only a few months old at the time, though there were photographs of him in every one of his mother's scrapbooks. She said that when Trunks was born, his dad Vegeta never even looked at him, but he changed his attitude toward him after the Cell Games. She attributed a lot to his future self - that he had enabled his father to begin to acknowledge him.

Not that opening his heart to Trunks really spared Trunks the abuse, but that was okay. Being pounded by his father on a daily basis until he was eight years old was condoned as training. And Trunks didn't let the memories of that abuse affect him; most of it was from before he could remember. From what Trunks did recall of his years before he turned eight, he still mentally processed it as fighting training.

It was when Trunks was eight that his dad held him for the first time - before Vegeta suicided in an attempt to kill Majin Buu. It was the first time that Trunks ever received any type of love from him. The memory still haunted Trunks' dreams as a recurring nightmare. But the outcome of it was truly life-changing… because after that… after his father was wished back with the Dragon Balls, he completely changed to Trunks. He never hit him again… Well… not like that. And then his dad finally married his mom, and then when Trunks was fourteen years old, they had Bra.

In Future Trunks' world, none of that happened. His dad died during the Cell Games. He never had a father. Bra was never born.

His whole life was a gift from himself, from the future. His future self ended up going on to save both timelines. But… where did he fall into fate? Was his future self … always meant to arrive in this timeline?

Trunks looked down, and then to Goku's eyes, digging deep. "If the dragon can predict the future, does it mean that the future is certain? Or is there any chance that we have a choice?"

Goku frowned, "What do you mean?"

"Am I being forced into my fate? Do I even have a choice anymore? Or is there any chance I can defy it?" Trunks looked hard to him, his gut feeling leaden.

Goku looked thoughtful. "I don't know. I guess I always thought of it like the dragon was reading words, like on a time scroll."

Trunks looked down, his eyebrows furrowing as he thought. "A time scroll…" Then Trunks looked forward, and up, and then back to Goku. "But then… there might be optional words, right?"

"Huh?"

Trunks gestured to Goku with his right hand. "Like… remember you had the viral heart disease? You were supposed to die."

"Yeah?"

"But then you lived," Trunks stressed. "What happened to those words? If a dragon had been asked to read those words that you would die, but then after you survived, read different words saying you would live, where would those words of your death have gone?

Goku looked like he ate a bad fruit. "I don't understand a word of what you just asked."

"Like…" Trunks tried to think of how to communicate with Goku, and thought of how he normally spoke with Goten. While Goten was not food-driven like his father, he did think completely differently than Trunks, and over their years, Trunks learned that if he just started using similes and metaphors, Goten could better understand some higher level concepts. Trunks had not realized at the time that he had inherited that quality from Goku. But maybe it would be to Trunks' advantage that they had that in common.

Trunks started over, looking ahead and brought both his hands in front of him, each with his palms facing up and cupped. "Think of Ramen Bowl A - let's say Miso Ramen. And then Ramen Bowl B - let's say Spicy Miso Ramen."

Goku nodded, following along.

"Now, both Ramens have the same base broth, right? They're both some form of Miso."

Goku agreed, "Yeah."

Trunks looked to Goku, "Let's say you're a Namekian Dragon. And you're eating lunch, and you're holding a Menu - a written word of what you are going to order. You following?"

"Yeah, I'm a Dragon at lunch, and gonna eat ramen."

"Correct," Trunks nodded slowly in affirmation. "And on the Menu, there is only one option - it's only Spicy Miso Ramen."

Goku looked confused. "Okay, so all I can have is Spicy Miso?"

Trunks confirmed, "Yes. No other options."

"What about the normal Miso Ramen?"

"Nope. There is no other option - it's just Spicy Miso Ramen, okay?" Trunks gave a pointed look.

Goku nodded, "Okay."

Trunks continued, "But then let's say you eat the Spicy Miso Ramen and you decide you absolutely hated it. Let's say it was WAY too spicy, and now you're feeling so sick that all you want to do is change the past, and you wish yourself back with your own Dragon Balls to when you first started placing your order."

"Okay, so I'm going to order Spicy Miso Ramen again?"

"No, Goku!" Trunks shook his head, "Now because you've learned that the spice is bad, you change your order."

Goku pointed to Trunks' left hand, "But the only thing on the menu is Spicy Miso Ramen. That's my only choice."

Trunks nodded sharply. "Exactly. But this time you do one small thing differently. This time, you tell the waiter, 'Hold the Spice'."

Trunks wanted to make sure Goku understood, and over the course of his time with him, he had learned Goku learned best when he was physical. "Show me how you'd say that."

Goku grinned and brought his pointed finger up above his head as if ordering a meal. "Hold the spice!"

Trunks grinned proudly and nodded to Goku. "You get it. And then…!" Trunks gestured upward as if the clouds were breaking and sunlight were shining on him, "You get your lunch! And your bowl of ramen shows up, is put in front of you… and it's… a MISO Ramen."

"I do love Miso Ramen."

"This Miso Ramen - this one has no spice." Trunks brought his hands down. "Just a normal Miso Ramen."

Goku nodded, "Okay?"

"Now, as a Dragon… " Trunks reminded Goku how to perceive himself in this tale, "... you'd have seen both Ramens! You encountered both within the same window of time, of getting that meal." Trunks looked to Goku's eyes. "Do you know what they call that?"

"I don't know. What?"

Trunks smiled, feeling proud to teach Goku a lesson. "That's called a paradox, Goku. Because a Dragon would have read two different menus, neither of which could exist at the same time, but somehow they do."

Goku cleared his throat. "Okay, but I still don't get the point of the story."

Trunks felt a light warm up within him. He felt like he was having an epiphany - a glimmer of hope within his personal darkness, in which he gained purpose and meaning.

Trunks talked with his hands as he spoke. "What I'm saying is the future can't be certain! Because my future counterpart proved that we can change the past - we can change how it's written. I've proven that it's possible to have either a Miso Ramen or a Spicy Miso Ramen." Trunks felt brighter and lighter. "There is a choice."

Goku frowned, "But that's only if you change the past. And even if you do, the future of your own timeline doesn't change. The first world still has an empty ramen bowl from the Spicy Miso Ramen."

Trunks felt elated inside. "Not if the bowl travels…"

Goku raised an eyebrow in slight suspicion. "Where are you going with this story?"

Trunks felt invigorated and charged with a newfound energy. His doubt and anxiety were sucked back in a riptide and a wave of hope crashed into his soul. Trunks found it - his resolution. His meaning.

Trunks stood. "I'm going to build a time machine."

Goku looked unimpressed. "Really, Trunks?"

"Yes." Trunks felt empowered. "I'm going to change this. I'm going to bring Goten on this trip."

Goku sighed as he stood up.

Trunks smiled and looked upward with daydreaming eyes, believing in his volition, feeling the fight within him rise again. "Now that I know what my fate is in this timeline, I know it could be different. It could be better!"

Goku's expression soured, and his voice took on a menacing undertone, "Don't you go spouting those words around Pan, Trunks. You're going to make her cry."

"I won't." Trunks looked to the temple with certainty in his eyes. "But I have a much clearer understanding of what I have to do."

Goku's face remained grim, "I'm not sure that you're in a good mental place right now, Trunks."

"No, Goku." Trunks gave him a genuine smile as he nodded. He felt a fire within him - a confidence that he only really felt around Goten. "I think for the first time on this entire trip, you're going to see me with a much better mindset."

Goku frowned at him. "I hope so. You've been a real jerk."

Trunks gave him an impish grin and answered honestly, for the first time. "I'm kind of a jerk."

"I never knew you too closely growing up. But you kind of remind me of Vegeta."

Trunks felt a wave of pride course through him, for the first time in a long time. "Thanks."

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–A: 10/14/23–

–F: 07/23/24–