CHAPTER 5

Leland stepped out of the pentagram and looked back. Cris stood in the circle, fiery smoke still rising off his head and shoulders. "Welcome back to the land of the living."

Zim looked around and saw an office, the kind of place Fitz and Bruni probably worked in. He never got to work in cool places like that, living the cool Office Space lifestyle. He was always stuck getting jobs through girlfriends only to disappoint them personally later, then the bosses much later by goldbricking it. People would probably think he was cool if he worked in an office.

Leland gestured, and Zim moved out of the pentagram so Leland could cover it up with a rug. Leland then went to a desk and sat down. "Please join me. We have much to discuss."

Zim saw a bar off to the side, so he went there to pour himself a drink. He found the most expensive scotch on the tray and poured himself a double.

Leland noted Zim's choice and tightened his jaw, but he had plans for Zim.

Zim finally sat down and took a giant gulp from his drink. He spat it out instantly. "That tastes like shit!"

["AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed FBJ from his grave.]

Leland watched as expensive used scotch sputtered from Zim's useless lips. Again, he reminded himself that Zim was necessary for his plans. "I apologize for not getting you out of Hell sooner. I didn't know you were there until one of my minions got back to me."

"Sure took you long enough," Zim said. Now that he no longer suffered in the Cage, his usual sense of self-importance had resumed command. He, of course, didn't spare a thought for Geoff.

"Over the years I've helped you a great deal," Leland said. "And now I'm in need of your assistance."

Zim didn't like the sound of that. He was a big fan of accepting help from others, but helping others was completely out of character for him. "Can't you, like, handle it yourself?"

"It requires a delicate touch," Leland said. "Specifically your delicate touch. Are you familiar with the Catholic concept of 'assessors'?"

"Yeah." Zim had no idea.

Leland knew Zim had no idea. "When someone requests an exorcism, these assessors are sent out to determine if it's a genuine possession. For that they need someone who is faithful, a scientist and a psychologist. Of late I've been having difficulty with a team of assessors in New York City. David Acosta will be easy to deal with. I can handle him. I have someone working on Ben, but my blind spot is Kristen Bouchard."

A woman? Zim's interest peaked. "Is she hot?"

"Oh yes. But she's clever. Possibly cleverer than I am. And that's where you come in."

"Because I'm clever." Not a question.

"Of course." Not the truth.

"What do you want me to do?" Zim asked.

Leland grinned from ear to hear, his eyes bright behind his glasses. "I want you to give her the I-thought-you-were-sleeping treatment."

TO BE CONTINUED . . .