Enjoy this! Spoilers if you haven't watched the Christmas special with 15 yet. Hope you like the interaction between him and Asher. I'm honestly a little surprised myself at how well they mesh.

Also, yes, Asher is 31 now. Yes, she acts a bit childish because she is 100% new to any sort of relationship. Yes, she has anxiety and other issues. So, if you don't like how her and the Doctor's relationship is, or how she acts, then why are you reading up to this point? Write something better yourself and stop whining in my reviews like a child. I have 0 tolerance for ppl who do this. You will be blocked and comments removed. Get a life and stop harassing others behind an anonymous account. Just makes you looks stupid.

I woke up rather dazed. My vision was swimming but the headache I'd been dealing with had eased to a dull throb. I closed my eyes with a sigh and opened them again, trying to work out where I was and what had happened. The Doctor… He said something about the HADS. That I'd be sent to the Tardis but he… he had to go save Neffy, right? So, what Doctor did I end up with? Nothing about the medbay really gave me a clue. It looked the same no matter what Tardis I ended up in or the changes were so miniscule that I never paid enough attention to work it out. I carefully pushed myself upright, wincing slightly at the ache in my chest and abdomen and taking a second to take a deep breath.

I didn't want to think about what had happened, though I knew the Doctor would have undoubtedly scolded me for it if I stayed. I didn't mean to jump in the way. The teleport just put me right near the dinosaur and all it took was one step. Body moved on its own. Stupid but still. I brought a hand up to press lightly to my chest where I remembered I'd been hit but there was far less pain than I expected. Future medical tech is insane. I reached down and lifted the edge of my shirt and felt a hint of relief at seeing just a small scar on my left side from one of the shots. The outer wounds had been healed at the very least but the internal damage was what was still causing the pain.

Could be worse, my mind idly supplied though the thought made me wince. I didn't want it to be worse. I'd nearly died and that wasn't an experience I ever wanted to have. I need to be more careful. The thought of actually dying made me feel sick and uneasy, but I was thankfully saved from dwelling on it when the door opened and someone walked in with a large grin.

"Ash! How are we feeling then, love?"

I stared at the man in confusion, not recognizing him. He was a black man wearing a bright orange shirt under a checkered coat, and he bounded over with a familiar sort of energy as he took a seat beside the bed.

"Any aches or pains? Your head was a right mess, I'll have you know," he rambled, reaching out and picking up a bottle from the nearby table and dumping out a set of pills. "Take these. Should take the edge off things a bit."

I numbly took the pills and offered glass of water, downing them without a second thought as I tried to figure out who he was exactly. Because I have an idea but how…

"Also, bit of a side note," he continued, not seeing my confusion as he waved a finger over at me. "Those injuries—small-caliber laser gun, multiple shots to the torso—pretty sure I know where they're from, so I'll go ahead and take over from my younger self by asking what the hell were you thinking?" He half-shouted, making me jump a little. "Who just sees a highly dangerous situation and says, 'Oh, yeah. I'll just jump in the middle of that mess,' huh?"

"I-I don't—"

"And don't get me started on the dinosaurs. I know you would have tried to befriend a raptor or something if left there long enough. Remember that trip to Australia? Nearly killed yourself picking up an inland taipan! Who does that? Who sees a highly venomous or dangerous animal and tries to pick it up?"

"Okay, hold on a second!" I finally spoke up, raising my voice to stop him as he folded his arms over his chest and raised a brow at me. "First off, I've never been to Australia and I'm pretty sure I would have warned you ahead of time that it would've been a bad idea. They have fuckin' dingos and you expect me to not try and pet them?"

He bobbed his head back and forth, understanding that I had a point.

"Second, Mr. Who-Goes-Jumping-Into-Danger, need I remind you that it's practically in your job description? You have literally jumped out calling yourself a target, told aliens to kill you, and go looking for trouble anywhere you can find it."

He gaped, offended. "I'll have you know, I don't go looking for it. It finds me."

"Oh, course it does. Name one time trouble found you instead of the other way around."

He held up a finger, mouth open before pausing. "Yeah, okay, but I at least have a plan."

"You never have a plan!" I countered, making him bring a hand to his chest, offended.

"I do so!"

"Never," I pressed before eyeing him. "You… You really are the Doctor then, yeah?"

He blinked, surprised at the topic change before understanding dawned on him. "Oh. Oh, this is your first time meeting this me." He cracked a grin, leaning forward eagerly. "What do you think? Nice, huh?"

I smiled a little too, nodding. "Yeah. Yeah, I like the change. It's… different. Good different, of course, but you look… I don't know. Happier?"

His smile softened at that before he reached out and brushed his knuckles over my cheek, surprising me. "You were always the best at figuring me out."

I didn't like the tingle of embarrassment swirling in my gut at the look in his eyes and slightly leaned away from his touch, though he just smiled and retracted his hand.

"You'll like it, you know," he said suddenly, getting up and offering a hand to help me out of the bed.

"Like what?"

"What happened between this me and the last me. You always said I deserved a happy ending."

My brows furrowed. "When did I say that?"

"Well, with how much trouble you go through to try and make me happy it was kind of implied," he answered, pulling me through the halls toward my room before releasing me and ducking into my closet. "Now, I know I promised you some fun for your birthday—"

"It's not my birthday," I pointed out, making him stick his head out of the closet with a firm finger pointed at me.

"Shush."

I raised a brow as he ducked back in and continued.

"So, I've got a place in mind. Already know you'll love it and we can have a bit of an adventure after that."

I rolled my eyes as he stepped out and held up a long-sleeved shirt, glancing between it and me with a keen eye. "Meaning, you've already found trouble and want to check it out."

"Yes, but—" He tossed the shirt to me and went back in for more. "I promised you a trip for your birthday. That comes first."

"I don't need—"

"Ah-ah!" He stopped me, heading over with a pair of red Converse and a set of jeans. "Birthday first. We don't get out enough just the two of us. Let's make the most of it, shall we?"

I sighed but let him nudge me and my clothes into the bathroom to change.

"That, and I don't think you'll enjoy where we have to go for the adventure part," he blurted out, making me turn as he shut the door in my face with a smile.

"What's that supposed to mean!"

The Doctor, of course, had been right on all accounts. He'd taken me to the largest aquarium in the universe, built to help display the unique environments of Earth fish from both freshwater and saltwater locations, and—because he couldn't help himself—it also held some more unique specimens from other Earth-like planets and places that humans had eventually ended up on. He insisted I attempt to house some distant space relative of the South American Pufferfish in my tanks on the Tardis but I adamantly refused. I knew better than to try and bring in something I knew little about.

He didn't argue for long though—seeming to know when my limit was when it came to disagreements—and instead moved us to the gift shop where he was quick to pick up a pufferfish stuffed animal that inflated when you squeezed it while I ended up having him stuff a large, body-sized, shark-shaped pillow into my arms. I argued that I didn't need a gift but he insisted and begrudgingly I let him have his way. The fact that he saw me eyeing the pillow and its price tag earlier when I swore he was too busy digging through smaller knickknacks didn't help matters. I felt rather guilty for him getting it but he ignored my unease and proceeded to drag me around for a bit longer.

We had lunch at a nice Japanese place before heading back to the Tardis and I'd settled in the jumpseat with the shark pillow, feeling that hint of exhaustion from the trips sinking into my body. I allowed my thoughts to drift to how the day had been and how easy it was for me to relax so quickly with the Doctor; new Doctor or not. I didn't know this regeneration at all but he was so comfortable with me that it was hard not to feel the same with him. It was only now, after the trip, that I realized I'd been ignoring a lot of subtle fond touches he'd given me.

I mentally groaned and shoved my face into the back of the shark I held, feeling heat on my cheeks and that familiar twisting in my gut. He held my hand. He laughed so easily and held me close, hand around my shoulders, my waist… I've never… I never let anyone get that close. It was always so weird to me and made me feel uncomfortable but with the Doctor it's… That memory of his Eleventh self kissing me reared its ugly head and I clung tighter to the shark. No. No, we're not doing this.

"Why not?"

I jolted, lifting my face out of the stuffed shark in surprise as the Doctor stood before me with a soft, almost sad smile. That hint of embarrassment doubled as I awkwardly looked away and he settled himself on the jumpseat beside me. I had apparently said the last bit out loud and I did not doubt that I was somehow projecting how I felt given my new mental abilities.

"You know I won't ever force you to do something you don't want to do," the Doctor explained as I pointedly kept my gaze away.

"I know," I muttered quietly. "It's just…"

"You don't know how to handle it," he concluded, making me glance at him in mild annoyance despite his small smile. "That's okay."

"Is it?" I questioned, tightening my hold on the shark and resting my chin on it. "Every time I seem to run into you and I'm too young or too early… I know it's not fair to you that I'm like this."

"Not necessarily," he replied easily, sinking back into the chair and looping an arm behind my shoulders. "I might not be new to this sort of thing but I'm an old hat. Don't know what I'm doing half the time and that's what makes it interesting. For the both of us. We're both figuring it out and even if you're not at the point in our relationship where I can actually do some of the things I'd like, so long as you're happy and comfortable I'm okay being the one to hold back."

"Which isn't fair," I repeated. "You deserve to be happy too."

"Who says I'm not?" He hummed, smiling at me in a way that made me shift uncomfortably at the way my heart raced. "I am more than happy being able to just hang out with you, Ash. Making you uncomfortable would do the opposite of that and I've got a long life yet. I don't mind taking the slow road when it comes to you."

I groaned, dropping my face into the shark. "This. This is why I can't do this."

"You're allowed to like whomever you want, Ash," he pressed, reaching over and dropping his hand on my head. "It will probably be awkward at first but that's fine. If it helps, you start doing things that make my younger selves awkward about us too. Martha and Donna always got a right laugh when you messed with me."

"But I don't know what to do," I complained, looking at him again. "It's all right for you since you've already married me or whatever but I-I have to start at nothing! Then, if I bounce around to another you and I just give them the go-ahead f-for us to be in a relationship then what? I'm doing things all out of order."

"And that's what makes it fun," he said, leaning close with a smug smile. "Really, Ash. All you need to do is do what's comfortable for you. If you think my past or future selves are going too far, then let me know. We're in it for the long run, so I'm more than willing to take my time and move at your pace," he hummed, getting up and offering me a hand with a smile. "Besides, you already know which versions of me act in what way. You know exactly how to handle me."

I wrinkled my nose as I set the shark on the jumpseat for the Tardis to whisk away and took his hand. "Don't say it like that."

He chuckled, letting me go to start the Tardis up. "Why not? I think it's accurate. Now, how about some trouble? Got enough energy for that?"

"You said I wasn't going to like it," I reminded him, a bit cautious given I had no idea where we were going or what was going to happen.

"It's just a bit loud, is all," he hummed, reaching out and hooking an arm around my waist before pointing at a button. "That one there."

I gave him a surprised look. "You're letting me fly?"

"No time like the present," he chirped, kissing my temple and laughing when I went to jab him in the side for the overly fond action. "Come on, Ash! Bit of fun before bed."

I reached out and pressed the button he'd pointed to, giving him a look. "Fine, but if I crash us, you're dealing with whatever happens."

Music blared through the speakers as people danced down on the floor below and Asher sighed softly, offering the bartender a small thanks as he handed her her drink. I wouldn't like it is right. I don't like clubs. She nursed the bramble and moved to the railing on the upper floor, leaning her elbows on it and glancing down at the Doctor as he spun around with the other dancers; wearing a tanktop and a kilt. A soft, fond smile stretched over her face as she watched him enjoy himself though, and as much as she wasn't a fan of the amount of noise going on, she was glad he was having fun at the very least.

The thought made her pause, remembering what he'd said about their relationship, and she took a rather large gulp of her bramble before grimacing. It was moments like these that her feelings for him were rather obvious and as she ran a hand through her hair, she still struggled to figure out what she was going to do next. It might be easy with this Doctor but what about earlier ones? How am I supposed to know where he's at versus where I'm at? Asking isn't easy for me. Am I really supposed to just go for it and see? I don't even know where to start. She groaned, dropping her head onto her arms for a moment before jolting when someone tapped her shoulder.

"Everything all right?" The young woman asked, startling Asher as she scrambled to remember how to speak to people.

"O-Oh, um, yeah. Yeah, I'm okay."

"You sure? You seem a bit upset." She gestured to the table nearby. "I can keep you company if you'd like."

Asher's mind seemed to short-circuit at that. Is she flirting? No. I'm overthinking it, right? Oh, God. But what if I'm not? What do I say? "I-I, um…"

"Oh!" The young woman blurted out then, bringing a hand up to cover her bright red lipstick and hastily grabbing Asher's wrist. "Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it like that. I just meant as mates and I'm a good listener if you're upset."

"I-I, um… Well…" Asher glanced back toward the dancefloor where the Doctor had been but he was gone and when she turned back she spotted the woman's drink about to be knocked off the table. "Ah! Your drink!"

She turned, bumping into the glass with her elbow and Asher tugged her back to reach around her and grab it but a familiar face caught a hold of the glass instead.

"Careful," the Doctor chimed, passing it back to the woman with a chuckle.

"Thank you," she answered, glancing over the railing as Asher let out a small sigh of relief. "But you were just over there."

He pulled out his psychic paper and looked an arm over Asher's shoulders. "Health and safety. Gin and tonic division. This is Asher. She's with me."

Asher offered the blonde a small awkward smile and wave as he continued.

"Can I ask, does that happen to you a lot? Knocking things over?"

"Oh, all the time but I'm just clumsy," the woman replied sheepishly but the Doctor's expression turned a little more serious.

"No. No, you're not. It's worse than that. Merry Christmas."

She watched as the Doctor lightly tugged Asher off and went to put her glass back on the table only for it to fall from her fingers and shatter on the ground; the table now missing.

"Doctor, who was that?" Asher asked as he smiled at the doorman and went into the Tardis.

He pulled on his leather coat before helping Asher into her bomber jacket once he'd moved the ship, holding off answering her until they'd landed.

"Dunno," he hummed, stepping out and pulling his sonic out from his pocket in search of something. "We've only just met."

Asher made a face, shaking her head before reaching out and grabbing his wrist. "Hold on. Side track. What is that?"

"It's my sonic," he replied, waving the remote-control-looking device. "Brand new."

"It looks like one of those gel shoe inserts," Ashed commented, making him gasp.

"I'll have you know, this is the best design idea I've had yet."

"I thought the Tardis makes the sonics."

"Oh, you are gettin' sassier by the minute," he huffed, though still cracking a smile. "Now, I don't know her but there's been all sorts of bad luck stuff happening around her, see? And I think it's trouble."

"Isn't it always?" Asher replied as they stepped out onto the road and spotted the woman in question getting into a cab with her friends. "And she's human, right?"

"Oh, yeah," he waved off, glancing up the road for a moment as the cab stopped at a red light. "Totally human."

"So, the trouble is alien then," Asher concluded before frowning. "What sort of alien causes bad luck? And why target her?"

"That's what we're going to find out," the Doctor said before a loud "tang" echoed through the quiet street, drawing their attention to the giant snowman tethered to the side of a building.

The remaining tethers creaked and their gaze shifted to the still-waiting cab directly below it.

"Yeah, that's a bit excessive," Asher muttered as the Doctor took her hand and started tugging her along toward it.

He stopped to use the sonic to change the traffic light color to green, allowing the cab to drive off but, of course, a woman with a pram stepped out onto the road just under the snowman.

"You've got to be kidding," the Doctor complained as more tethers began to break and he charged forward with Asher. "Get back! Move! Go, go, go, go, go!"

The woman looked at them, startled before the snowman's head broke free and fell toward him and Asher. He grabbed Asher and pulled her close, bracing for the impact that ended up being rather anti-climatic. It was an empty cloth head and they'd been lucky enough to have slipped between the metal support bars inside, but he still checked Asher over.

"You okay?"

She nodded, still pressed up against him and holding tightly to his jacket, rather stunned by what'd just happened. He lightly tugged her free and gave her one more look before she took a steadying breath and nodded, allowing him to address the woman outside who'd asked if they were okay. He shoved out one of the snowman's fake eyes and shot her a mildly annoyed look.

"A pram? At midnight? Really?"

The woman huffed at him, pulling back the cover of the pram as he and Asher climbed out of the snowman. "It's my shopping."

She stormed off and the Doctor glanced up at the rooftop of the building, catching sight of a small figure disappearing over the rim as a police officer hurried up to him.

"Oh, my God. Are you two all right? Are you… Are you okay?" He asked as the Doctor waved him off.

"We're fine."

"I'm sorry. Report… I'm going to have to report this," he said as he scrambled to pull out his notepad.

"Okay. Name: the Doctor and this is Asher," the Doctor introduced to the man, though he didn't look pleased about the report the officer was trying to write up. "Occupation: not a doctor and Ash is an archaeologist. Current status: just passing by. Employer: myself and some university you've probably never heard of. Address: that blue box over there," he said, gesturing to the Tardis. "Now, if you don't mind, we just got snowmanned, and I would like to go home to spend time with my wife."

"Not wife," Asher corrected quietly as the Doctor hummed.

"Almost wife."

"How can I be an almost wife?" Asher asked as they started heading for the Tardis, ignoring the officer who followed.

"Well, what would you prefer? And don't say 'companion.' That causes even more confusion."

"Um, Doctor what would that be?" The officer cut in, trying to clarify.

"Just the Doctor," he chirped, gesturing for Asher to head in and starting to himself before ducking back out to inform the officer about the status of his soon-to-be proposal.

Upon popping back into the Tardis, he was greeted by the raised brow on Asher's face.

"What?"

"Just thought it was interesting you took all that in at once, is all," she hummed. "Isn't part of the point of a proposal the suspense of not knowing whether someone will say yes or no?"

The Doctor shrugged. "I wouldn't know," he said, turning to her and cracking a grin. "I already knew you'd say yes."

Asher flushed as he laughed at her dumbfounded expression. "That's spoilers!"

Ruby Sunday was never one to go looking for trouble and yet the last few weeks, trouble sure had been finding her. First, that accident while trying to film with Davina about locating her unknown family. She was lucky she hadn't gotten hit by the falling light. Then, her keyboard going out mid-concert at the bar. She later found out it had been unplugged but still. Her drink shattering at the club too, had been unexpected but she could have sworn there had been a table there only a moment before. Now, this.

It was her birthday and surely, things should have been better, right? Instead, she'd dropped her groceries all over the porch, suddenly gained a new infant foster child to join her small family—not a bad thing but still a thing that happened—and now finding out that Davina couldn't find any sign of her relatives. It hurt to know that she might never find out who her actual family was but she was holding onto the fact that she'd been adopted by the best foster mom she could ever have. She wouldn't give Carla up for the world but… even just a name would have been nice.

Davina's call had been cut off too right at the end and Ruby hummed in thought as she set her phone down, only to hear a strange sort of cackling from the baby monitor on the counter. She picked it up, listening before hearing a thump from down the hall. She turned toward it before the cackle on the monitor joined the cries of baby Lulubelle. She grabbed her phone with a gasp, hearing a voice call out a happy birthday as she ran for where Lulu had been put to bed. She did not expect to find her missing, ducking under the cot to discover her camera with a strange creature having been photographed. She set the photo and camera aside, not knowing what to think, before there was that cackling again above her and she looked up to see Lulu's blanket being pulled through the skylight.

She stared in shocked confusion for a second before spotting a stepladder nearby and grabbing it to climb up and out herself. Carefully navigating up the roof, she was stunned to see two strange little goblin creatures putting Lulu into a basket hanging from the sky.

"What the hell… What are you?"

The goblin hissed at her and she gaped.

"Oh. Did you just hiss at me? Was that a hiss? Because let me tell you, I'm not—" She cut herself off as a breeze reminded her where she was. "Oh, my God. I'm on the roof."

A rope ladder was lowered for the goblins then and Lulu cried as the basket was hoisted upward, drawing Ruby's attention once more.

"No, no, no, no, no. Give me back my baby!" She called, rushing over and hesitating only a moment before climbing the ladder herself.

It started to move though and she grimaced.

"Don't—Don't do that!" She complained before a voice called out from her right.

"What the hell are you doing!"

It was the strange man from the club the night before, dashing along the roof rather expertly while Asher, tried to keep up just behind him.

"I'm… Just… There's…" Ruby tried to explain, suddenly not knowing how to explain the fact that she was going after goblins who stole her infant foster sister.

"But what did you do that for? Who sees a ladder and just pops on? A ladder in the sky and you thought, 'Yeah, I'll give that a go, babes'?" The Doctor complained as Asher spoke up behind him.

"Rose did with a goddamn barrage balloon! How do you keep finding these people!"

"They find me!" He countered as Ruby shouted at them both.

"They've got the baby!"

The Doctor reached the end of the terrace and jumped off to grab the ladder himself, reaching out and helping grab Asher, to help her reach it as well.

"Oh, dear lord," Asher breathed, clinging to him like a lifeline. "Don't know why did that. Jumping off a roof is not safe in any way."

"Yeah, but you trusted me to catch ya, didn't ya?" The Doctor teased, nodding toward the ladder so she could hang onto that and not have him trying to hold her whole weight.

"Or I'm just an idiot who's been hanging out with you too long and caught some of your recklessness. Do me a favor and take it back."

The Doctor chuckled at her disgruntlement and glanced at the blonde who'd been eyeing the two of them like they were mad. "What's your name?"

"Ruby. Ruby Sunday," she replied as he grinned.

"Hello, Ruby Sunday. And it's a Sunday right now. That's a coincidence. I'm the Doctor. Hi."

"You never land on Sundays," Asher pointed out and he shrugged.

"Just got lucky, I guess."

She groaned, not liking the idea of luck having anything to do with this as Ruby glanced between them once more.

"I met you before."

"Yup," the Doctor replied.

"There are creatures."

"Goblins," he informed her.

"Goblins."

"They're goblins."

"Okay," she said before grimacing. "I can't hold on."

"Oh, right, right, right. Wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait. Cos I spend a lot of time hanging off things," he said, reaching into his pocket. "I, uh... I invented these."

"Gloves?" Ruby questioned as he handed her one.

"Intelligent gloves. One each. Should work. Put it on. Cos I thought to myself, 'What's the problem with hanging on?' It's all the friction and the weight and the burn, so I got rid of that. The glove's a kind of super-kinetic transfer of mass," he explained, grabbing hold of the ladder with his glove. "Ah, that's better. The glove takes all my weight. All the weight is in the glove. So nothing burns. Nothing pulls. Nothing hurts. Ta-da!"

He let go and swung out, holding onto the ladder with just an arm before Asher shoved at him with her free hand; the other hooked around the rope of the ladder by the elbow.

"Shame you didn't bring more. Shouldn't you always invent two of everything so I don't get left out? I always pop up at some point. Might be handy, don't you think?" She bit out, adjusting her feet a bit so she had some weight not pulling on her arm. "I'm going to need more painkillers after this."

"Sorry, sorry," the Doctor apologized, remembering that she was still recovering and the running and such wouldn't exactly be pleasant. "We could trade if you'd like."

"Or we could climb the ladder instead of just swinging around it like a goon."

"I am not a goon."

"Dunno. You're looking a little goony," she replied with a frown before a smile started to creep in around the edges, and he shot her a grin himself.

"Careful now. Keep teasin' me and I might have to do something about it."

Ruby looked between them curiously. "Are you two…"

"Yes."

"It's complicated," they both answered at the same time before the Doctor gestured to the glove he had.

"Yeah, so all the mass and density and mavity exists in the glove, not in you."

"I'm a lightweight with super gloves," Ruby chimed, a smile breaking out on her face too as Asher shot the Doctor a look.

"Mavity?"

"I'll explain later," he replied when the ladder started moving up. "They're pulling us in."

"But where? What's up there?" Ruby asked.

"Goblins. Do you know why they call them goblins? Cos they like to gobble you up. And this lot want to gobble up the baby. And this… is where they feast. The goblin ship."

The ladder broke through the clouds where a rickety wooden ship flew above them.

"That's… impossible," Ruby commented as the Doctor smiled.

"It's beautiful."

"How's it fly?" Asher questioned, making the Doctor raise a brow at her. "Just to add to the 'impossible' and 'beautiful' comment, since I know you're never going to actually tell me."

"Rude," the Doctor huffed.

"And very true, given you rarely explain anything," Asher countered. "Starting to think you just don't like explaining."

"I love explaining!" He argued. "You lot always look so impressed when I explain things. Why wouldn't I like explaining?"

"Oh, I don't know, maybe because when you explain things at a hundred miles an hour while using very long, scientific words from the future while all us normal people just sort of stand around trying to figure out what the hell you're saying?"

"Guys!" Ruby cut them off, drawing their attention to her in surprise. "What are the goblins going to do to us?"

The Doctor and Asher exchanged looks before turning back to her and replying simultaneously.

"They'll eat us too."

I sighed, knocking my head back against the mast Ruby, the Doctor, and I were now tied to after having been pulled up into a horde of tiny goblins.

"Is it bad that I thought about punting the goblins like a football?"

"Yes," the Doctor replied, cracking a smile and nudging my shoulder with his. "Intrusive thoughts should stay thoughts, Ash."

"We practically just let them tie us up though."

"I can't believe this," Ruby interrupted as the floor above us creaked. "I can't believe a single thing that's happening, and—" She squirmed a bit, testing the ropes. "It's my birthday."

"It's your what now?" The Doctor questioned as I hummed.

"Just celebrated mine, though I was born in May, not Christmas Eve."

"Oh, never mind me. They're going to eat Lulubelle," Ruby complained. "What time's dinner?"

The Doctor was frowning though, distracted by something. "No, but it's Lulubelle's birthday. That is such a brilliant name," he said, hitting his own head on the mast. "I wish I was called Lulubelle. And is your birthday on the same day?"

"Yeah, but it doesn't mean anything. It's just a coincidence."

"No such thing as coincidence," I muttered, making the Doctor hum.

"She's right, you know, even if she is tryin' to quote that Sherlock series. Did you watch it? Brilliant stuff."

"Doctor, focus," I chided him. "Do you have a way out of here?"

"Working on it," he replied, eyeing the twists of ropes above us. "Learn the language. That's why they went after Lulubelle. Coincidence is what makes the baby tasty. That's how these goblins work. Chance and coincidence and luck. That's how I spotted you. You've been having lots of bad luck, yes?"

"W—Yes, but that—that—that started way back. I mean, Lulu arrived today. I started having accidents weeks ago."

"Maybe it was on purpose?" I offered, not really sure how this thing worked myself. "If they feed on bad luck or coincidence or whatever, then they cause little bits of it to grow it up into one really big 'oh that's weird' moment."

"That was paving the way. These goblins are time riders. They can surf the waves of time. They spotted the chance of coincidence, and they went back and they wove you in."

"Wait," Ruby and I said at the same time before I gestured for her to go first.

"So they caused my accidents? Were they trying to kill me?"

"No. No, it's more like, uh… If you walk through a day without any bad luck, that's fine, that day is nothing. But if you have lots of accidents, it stitches you in. It weaves you into the day. You become all complicated and knotted and vivid. All of it leading up to a baby on Christmas Eve. The same birthday as yours, with a bedroom that is high up in the sky. All the more convenient for a goblin ship." The Doctor let out a bark of a laugh. "Ha! Oh, it's like a tapestry. It's gorgeous!"

"Oh, here he goes," I drawled, leaning over toward Ruby. "He saw a werewolf once, stood there like a fool, and called it gorgeous like this. Nearly got eaten."

"A what?"

"Have you been there yet?" The Doctor asked from my other side, making me turn toward him.

"No, and as badass as werewolves are, I have some sense of self-preservation unlike you, Mr. I-Just-Regenerate."

He smirked at me. "Love the sass."

"Shut up."

"How do you two know all of this?" Ruby cut in as I shrugged.

"I don't know a damn thing. Making it up as I go and he does the same. Isn't that right, Time Boy?"

"This is a brand new science for me, and I love it. The language of luck. Cos what is a coincidence but a form of accident? Two things bumping together unexpectedly. Like you, Ash, and me."

"No, but who are you? Why are you an expert in time-traveling goblins and—"

"Oh! Psh!" The Doctor immediately complained, cutting her off. "They are not time travelers. Excuse me. Time travelers are great. Like the best. Like, wow. This lot just bimble."

"Careful, Doctor. Your ego is showing," I hummed, twisting to try and get my hands into his coat pocket where I knew he had his sonic… pad thingy.

"So if they're bimbling, why did they pick on Davina McCall?" Ruby asked.

"Oh, that was just fun," he grunted out, making me frown as he slipped his hands out easily.

"Wait, how did you do that?" Ruby gasped as he winked at me when I frowned at him.

"Showin' off, that's how. I was trying to get your sonic, you know."

"Oh, I know. Gotta impress you though," he replied, untieing me from my bonds as he looked over at Ruby. "I spent a long, hot summer with Harry Houdini. Now then… Right. Let me see. Door."

I rolled my eyes and went over to undo Ruby's ropes as he eyed the small door nearby.

"Hurry up. They're going to eat the baby," Ruby urged him as I sighed.

"He's got a hero complex. He's a last-minute sort of guy."

He tried the sonic on the door but I didn't even look as I eyed the ropes up above.

"Sonic doesn't do wood," I chimed, making him turn to me with a pout before I pointed upward. "You'd have better luck figuring out the ropes."

He hurried over, startling me as he scooped me up off my feet and spun me in a circle. "You are brilliant, Ash! No foreknowledge, no nothin' and you are still the most clever woman I've ever met."

"Stop trying to win me over and put me down!" I complained, face tinted pink at the compliment.

"Is it working?" He asked with a beaming grin and I groaned.

"Yes, okay? Now put me down!"

He finally released me with a chuckle as I huffed and dragged a hand through my hair, knowing that I might regret what I said later. Already the fluttering of my heart was making me anxious and I nearly jumped when Ruby spoke up again.

"W-What was that? That thing you had."

The Doctor held it out, still eyeing the ceiling. "Sonic screwdriver. But a screwdriver needs screws. This lot bind everything with knots."

"Okay, we've got to get out, because they could be eating the baby any second now," she reminded him before he turned to her abruptly.

"What time were you born?"

She frowned lightly at the out-of-pocket question. "I don't know. They kind of just guessed. Two o'clock? Two pm?"

"Right. So, language, tapestry, coincidence. That must be the time for the feast. What—What time is it now?" He asked as Ruby tried kicking at the small door.

"Five to two," I replied, glancing at the watch he'd given me for my birthday.

He knew me too well and understood that I liked practical things. Having a watch like this—something simple with just a braided rope-like band—that could tell the time of wherever I may be was handy. I could pop up anywhere and anywhen, and the watch would give me a date and time. The engraving was a little unneeded though, I noted, remembering the Gallifreyan on the underside of the watch that he translated for me. "Always do your best and I will always love you for it." God, I hate him. Yet, a soft smile crept onto my face as I clasped a hand over the watch before the Doctor mentioned hurrying up and Ruby groaned.

"Yes! Well, if you gave me a hand!"

"I am learning the vocabulary of rope!" He countered. "This stuff is their version of wires and electricity, so if we… trip the right switch."

He undid a knot and when it went loose the doors opened, making Ruby gape at him in surprise.

"What? You can speak rope?" She questioned as he laughed before he stopped near some more rope. "You know, we can't exactly sneak around. We're like giants in this place," she reminded him as I followed them out.

"Not that the Doctor really does sneaky," I huffed as he muttered to himself.

"Oh, I think that even a leaky old goblin ship has the equivalent of…" He pulled another rope and a trap door opened up. "...ventilation shafts."

We climbed up into the crawlspace before there was a loud gong then and we exchanged looks.

"Sounds like the dinner bell," I muttered as the Doctor looked back at us.

"What's the time?"

I shifted and looked at my watch. "Three minutes left."

Then, there was the rumble of drums and what sounded like a horn, making Ruby speak up from in front of me.

"Is that a band?" She asked before the Doctor started moving again. "Wait!"

"Dinner and a show?" I questioned, following after them where we stopped at some grates in the floor where we could see.

Sure enough, there was a screech as a band of goblins started to play music and sing. Just below us was the baby in the basket as well, being slowly rolled up a conveyor belt.

"Lulubelle," Ruby breathed as the curtains were pulled back to show the singer.

"We've got a baby, we can feast.

We can dine three days at least.

Baby blood and baby bones.

Baby butter for the baby scones.

Little baby feets, little baby toes—"

"Amazing," the Doctor breathed.

"I know right?" I added. "This song's a bop. How much do you think they'd make if they sold it as a single?"

"Well—"

"Hello!" Ruby scolded us. "It's not amazing! What do we do?"

"Uh… okay."

"Baby's had such very bad luck.

Now into baby we will tuck!

Eat the baby, add some salt."

"They're seasoning her," Ruby gaped as we moved further up.

"Bay leaves, barley, powdered malt.

Now baby's salted, she's a treat.

Her destiny it's time to meet.

Baby we need. Baby we feed.

Eat with our teeth. Better than beef.

Baby so soft, carried aloft,

Big brown eyes, caramelize!"

"Oh, no." The Doctor breathed, stopping our advancing as more curtains were being opened.

"What?" Ruby asked.

"I wonder whose ship this is," he muttered and we looked down as the curtains were pulled back to reveal a large, rather overweight, goblin king.

"He's the goblin king. Yes, the goblin king.

He's not a myth, he's an actual thing.

Here's the king. Here's the king.

Here's the king. Here's the king goblin!"

"Oh… my… God," Ruby breathed at the sight as I squinted.

"Sorry, did George Lucas meet the goblin king, or is the resemblance to Jabba the Hutt just happenstance?"

"We love the king. We sing ding-a-ling.

And we love his chin when it's wobbling.

He likes to dine on coincidence."

"Leave her alone! Leave her alone!" Ruby hollered, banging on the grate before I stopped her with a shush.

"If they find out we're up here, they might quicken things up. The Doctor'll figure it out." I glanced over at him messing with more ropes.

"It fills him, builds him up, and hence he can eat!

He can eat! 500 puppies with golden fur."

"Puppies?" I gasped. "Oh, hell. I'm punting one of them for sure now. Doctor? Any day now."

"Nearly there!" He chimed.

"Orphan boys with jet-black hair.

Circus clowns with a red balloon.

A banquet for our king on high.

Oh little baby, Oh little baby.

Say goodbye!"

Suddenly, the grate we were on fell and we dropped through onto the conveyor; stopping it from moving as well as silencing the band and group of eagerly awaiting goblins. The goblin king let out a roar of complaint and we slowly looked around, waiting to see what they'd do as well as catch our breaths. Slowly, the Doctor rolled over to get back on his feet, sliding the basket with Lulubelle away to hand over to Ruby as the smaller goblins growled.

"Tough crowd," the Doctor muttered as I hissed at him.

"Do something."

He turned, doing a little cross-legged squat. "Curtsey. I'm the Doctor, this is Asher, and my friend Ruby Sunday. And I would just like to say… why stop singing? Rock it, Janis!"

I groaned as the band started up again and the Doctor danced along with it while snapping his fingers. I reached down and picked up Lulubelle's basket and gave her a look.

"I am so sorry for this. This new regeneration of his is a bit… distracted."

The baby cooed as the Doctor began to sing, catching my attention.

"Cos the goblin king, oh the goblin king. It's so good to meet you, you great big thing. I can see you're having a fun day. Meet my friend, she's Ruby Sunday."

He swapped places with Ruby, turning to me and grinning as he danced and I just raised a brow.

"Not joining in?" He asked and I wrinkled my nose.

"I'm not a singer and even worse of a dancer," I informed him, before eyeing him and earning a raised brow of curiosity in return. "You're really good though."

His grin widened as Ruby joined in with the singing, catching up where he'd left off.

"It's good to meet you, good to greet you. Good to say 'How diddly-deet you?; It's my birthday, my, oh, my. I'm 50 miles up in the sky. But goblins, you can go to hell, cos you're not eating Lulubelle."

The Doctor pulled out his gloves and gave her one, twirling to switch with her as she smiled at me and took the basket.

"Me, Ash, and Rubes, we got just one hope. If I have understood that rope. Cos stuck up there when things got hot. I think I found the master knot. The master knot has been undone. That's when we start having fun!"

A rope dropped down and the Doctor grabbed it with his gloved hand, wrapping an arm around my waist with a smug look before Ruby reached out and grabbed onto his coat with her gloved hand.

"Hold on tight," the Doctor told us, startling Ruby.

"Wait, what are you—"

"If you reverse intelligent gloves, you get heavy," the Doctor explained, making a hint of worry fill my gut.

"You're not saying we're going to—"

"Jump!"

He jumped, pulling us out of the ship to send us plummetting downward.

"How do we stop!" Ruby asked, letting out a laugh.

"Love the glove, Ruby. Love the glove," he chuckled as I clenched my teeth and clung desperately to him.

"Just get us down!"