"Deactivate your organic component," the Doctor said, informing the group of crew members what they'd discovered after taking out one suit.
"All the suits got the same command. Best guess, someone hacked the network," Tasker suggested.
"And you survived how?"
"We were off-network," Abby, the only woman of the survivors explained, tapping the schematics in front of them. "You have to be to repair the conveyors."
"It was just dumb luck," Dahh-Ren said with a bitter laugh.
"The measurements, are these in meters?" The Doctor asked, trying to get as much information as possible because he had a bad feeling about all of this.
Asher had gone quiet after getting her suit repaired, unable to look at him and he swore he'd seen tear tracks on her face. That was never a good sign. Asher was stubborn when it came to holding back tears. She hated it, hated the feeling of it, and oftentimes grew even more frustrated when it happened. She avoided crying as best she could and only cried when the frustration or anger built up too much for her to control it, like water leaking from a crumbling dam. Her crying here and now meant that their already bad situation had just gotten a million times worse.
"Average breaths," Tasker answered him. "The only unit worth a damn out there."
Abby traced a finger over their planned pathing. "Forty breaths to the dorms, one twenty to the core. That's where we're headed. It's the safest place."
"Are there more suits inside the base or out?"
"Outside is suicide," Abby declared as Tasker nodded.
"Inside we can move faster than them Outside they have the edge. Which means we're dead."
"What are you mining?" Nardole asked, changing the topic slightly. "Is it worth stealing?"
"You think this is a robbery?" Abby scoffed.
"Well, killing you would be a good start if it was," the Doctor pointed out as Nardole hummed.
"It's how I'd do it," he said, noticing everyone staring at him and hastily explaining. "If I was to do that sort of thing. Which, actually, I probably wouldn't. So please don't worry."
"Well, they picked a fine day for it. This is the least productive we've all been for months."
Tasker agreed. "Look, we're mining copper ore. You'd need to steal a mountain to make it worth your while."
"What about your employers?" Asher asked then, drawing attention to her and the Doctor nodded.
"Any help from them?"
"They're too far away," Tasker said as Ivan added to it.
"Not that it matters. Whoever hacked the suits also cut the radio."
"So your distress call—"
"Was a botch. I boosted a suit radio through the dish."
"Good job," the Doctor praised before Asher spoke up again.
"I didn't mean them coming to help."
The Doctor looked at her in concern, seeing the hesitation on her face but also how grim it was. She was holding back something she didn't want him to know about but was also trying to give hints. It was dangerous with how little foreknowledge she had here but the fact that she was still considered young to him and was giving things away made his already sinking feeling grow worse.
"What do you mean?" Tasker asked her and she glanced at him uneasily before looking down slightly at the schematics.
"Least productive you've been in months, selling you oxygen which is required for survival instead of just filtering the ship with it, the command going out to the suits and… station declared non-profitable. Your workers were 'terminated' on the reports. That could mean 'fired' but…"
"You think the company sent the order to the suits?" The Doctor realized, voice breathy in stunned disbelief as Abby scoffed.
"You're joking. Seriously? To what end?"
"Money," Asher muttered. "Keeping an unprofitable station running wastes money and resources. Sending a shuttle to get you out of here costs money… but sending a code for the suits? Cutting off outside comms so no one can tell people? They're literally making you pay for the air you breathe and you don't think they'd stoop low enough to get rid of you?"
"Could it be the suits themselves?" Nardole asked then, breaking through the tension that Asher's suggestion had caused. "They're AI, aren't they?"
"They're dumb as rocks," Tasker countered, eyeing Asher with a hint of unease.
"But can they learn?" The Doctor pressed, keeping Asher's idea in mind but seeing how it had very quickly caused a ripple of disquiet to roll through the surviving crew. "Evolve? Grow? Maybe get tired of carrying pesky humans around? Know the feeling?"
Nardole nodded as Ivan explained.
"They've got limited problem-solving and that's it."
A chime came from overhead, making everyone bolt to their feet and look around in worry. Tasker went over to a monitor and cursed.
"They're… fixing the lock."
"Well then, it's time to go," Abby declared as Nardole scoffed.
"Limited problem-solving, eh?"
"West corridor is free," Ivan announced. "Forty breaths to the core. Let's move."
The group hurried through and Dahh-Ren called out from the back that the suits had made it through the initial door.
"Check the doors before opening!" Asher called out, knowing how easy it could be for people to forget.
She hadn't been to the Impossible Planet yet but knew that at least one person had died from opening a door without checking and others had almost made the same mistake. Problem was, she was too late. Tasker had turned at her warning after already opening the next door and let out a cry of pain as a corpse grabbed his suit and he was electrocuted to death.
"Airlock!" Ivan called, bringing the group to the next area and stopping them in front of the next door. "Airlock. Helmets on."
Everyone flicked out helmets and put them over their heads except Bill and Asher. Asher hesitated before grabbing her helmet and stared at it in concern as the Doctor went over to help Bill.
"Where are we going?" Bill asked with a hint of worry in her voice.
"Outside," Ivan replied, not as confident as he sounded.
"Well, didn't they say that was a bad idea?"
"It is," the Doctor said, activating her helmet. "But I know a worse one."
"Wait, why, why, why, why do I need that? What about the air forcefield thing?"
"Not strong enough for a vacuum. Trust me."
He helped her into her helmet as Asher put on hers and Bill called out another question.
"What happens if I throw up in my helmet?"
"Colors and smells," Nardole replied, making her grimace.
"Don't throw up in helmet then. Check."
"Old McDonald," Asher muttered to her with a shaky smile that Bill took one look at and hesitated.
Asher was scared. Asher was never scared or if she was, she kept it hidden rather well, usually. So seeing her eyeing the airlock door with trepidation made Bill uneasy as well, even with her hint of thinking about the Old McDonald song. More than that, if Asher was scared, then the Doctor would be too. One look at him said he wasn't, or he didn't look it to Bill, and against her better judgment, she went over and grabbed his suit sleeve, drawing his attention.
"Doctor?"
"What? Now's really not the time for more questions," he grumbled.
"She looks scared," Bill said, not knowing how else to tell him and he frowned for a second, not sure who she was talking about until he turned and his hearts fell into the bottom of his feet.
Asher might have just looked scared to Bill but to him, she was absolutely petrified. Her skin was ashen as she watched Ivan close the airlock doors and the computer announced the decompression of the room. She was mouthing words that he instantly recognized, remembering when she'd told him about her high school band practices and how she'd mentally sing Old McDonald while the seniors tried to get people to laugh or break attention. It was a very different situation here but the effect was still the same. She was trying her damnedest to stay calm and control her breathing. Something uncontrollable was about to happen and he wasn't sure what he could do.
"Warning. Helmet malfunction," came the voice of her suit, making her clench her eyes shut as her helmet turned red and the Doctor felt his hearts stop.
Something was about to happen to her.
He rushed over immediately as her suit hands went up and removed her helmet, much to everyone's disbelief. She didn't open her eyes as it happened, keeping them shut and mouthing the words to Old McDonald a little more frantically.
"No, no, no, no, no," the Doctor breathed, attempting to tear the helmet from her grip but the suit didn't budge. "Stop the cycle!"
Tasker eyed them but didn't move. "We can't stop it. It's automated."
Nardole and Ivan were trying to get the back of the suit to work while the Doctor frantically tried to see what he could do. Without his sonic, there wasn't much and he looked up before reaching out and lightly pressing his hand against the forcefield around her head, wishing he could touch her and pass on some sort of comfort.
"Asher. Ash, listen. Please, listen," he begged as she cracked open her fearful blue eyes, making his throat go tight. "You're about to be exposed to the vacuum of space."
"B-Breathe," she muttered, taking a stuttering but calm breath as he nodded.
"Yes. Yes, you can't hold your breath."
"Oh my God," Bill choked out. "Her lung will explode."
"You were listening. Well done," the Doctor said drably, running his hand over the forcefield. "You can do this, Ash. you'll be okay."
Her lips wobbled as her eyes watered, choking on a breath already as she spoke. "I-It'll be my fault."
"No," he argued, not sure what she meant but placing his hands on either side of her neck and lightly tapping his helmet against the forcefield. "No. None of this is your fault. Not now, not ever."
"I-I'm sorry," she cried as tears finally fell and the airlock began to open.
"What are we going to do?" Bill asked, petrified for her friend but the Doctor ignored her and kept his focus on Asher as she took a deep final breath and slowly began to let it out.
Having no oxygen was a terrifying and strange thing to experience. I'd toyed with it a few times in the backyard swimming pool, seeing how long I could hold my breath before my lungs started to burn. There were times when I swore I had somehow managed to breathe underwater, I was down there for so long, but perhaps I'd been lucky and just breathed the right way before ducking into the water where my brain was fooled into forgetting air was a requirement.
The vacuum of space was different. I had managed for a moment, letting out the air in my lungs slowly like I used to in the pool; the tune of Old McDonald running through my mind to keep me from panicking and my eyes clenched shut out of fear. I felt the suit I was in start to move for me—I had no idea if I'd be able to get the damned thing to move through my own power anyway—and allowed it to walk me out onto the hull of the space station. The space was muted though, all sound getting sucked away in the vacuum as my lungs finally decided that air might be important. I tried to suck in a breath but nothing happened and that was when the panic really settled in.
There would be no Old McDonald to get me through this. No music or thoughts or comfort that would make my brain calm down about the fact that there was no air to inhale. My mouth was open, desperately trying to suck in something and my eyes opened in the process, seeking out the Doctor immediately. My vision began to swirl and the sound of my blood rushing filled my ears before everything started to ring. I saw the flare of a gun and the falling corpse drift off into space as my feet automatically moved before darkness began to creep in. Everything went black only a moment later and for a second I felt something odd. A rolling trickle of fire in the leftover feeling of my arm, then nothing.
It was brief but it felt dangerous. Like every warning bell in my mind was going off at once yet I was somehow still unaware of what was happening. I couldn't tell if I was dead or alive or unconscious or what. Then, my eyes cracked open and my vision swirled dangerously, sending my stomach flip-flopping into my throat and I felt nauseous as I tried to comprehend what was happening. For a brief fleeting moment, I saw the Doctor reaching for me and a trickle of fear and devastation rolled through me before my mind could understand why. Only as my vision faded again did I realize his helmet was missing.
Given time, my consciousness returned and I found myself standing in the corner of a room. My neck ached like I'd slept wrong and as I tried to bring my mind back to the present, I noticed some corpses in the distance shifting. My heart quickly jumped into my throat but they weren't approaching and I carefully closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Calm. N-Need to stay calm, I mentally told myself as I winced at the sharp pain that rolled through my lungs. I tried to bring a hand to my head but the suit refused to move and I begrudgingly abandoned any thoughts of moving. The corpses weren't heading my way so I assumed that the Doctor had done something to my suit that made them think I was a corpse. It wasn't a pleasant thought but at the moment, I was only worried about one thing.
"D-Doctor?" I called out quietly, hoping he was nearby but also begging the universe that what was supposed to have happened hadn't.
Somehow, someway, please don't let him be blind. God, I don't care how fucked up the universe gets because of it. I just… I-I can't live with myself if I caused him to be… My throat went tight again, threatening more tears but I took another shuddering breath and tried to calm down. Crying would only make my breathing worse and I already hated how much I'd done today. Footsteps approached behind me and I felt a trickle of relief as Nardole and Ivan headed over.
"You're awake. Told you," Nardole chirped, as pleasant as ever.
"Are you okay?" Ivan asked and I attempted a small grimace of a smile that most definitely fell a bit short.
"Y-Yeah, I'm… I'm fine."
That wasn't true at all. My head ached terribly, there was a sharp pain in my side that flared with every breath, I still felt a little dizzy and I was sure if the suit wasn't standing up on its own I'd be on the floor resting. My arm also tingled which didn't help my concerns about the connection I had with the Tardis interfering but I was still here so it hadn't apparently done anything.
"Your suit is on auto, so you won't be able to move for a bit," Ivan informed me. "The Doctor hacked it and walked you out."
He fixed it so I could move, though I was quick to place a hand on the wall behind me as my leg adjusted to holding my weight again.
"And you've got oxygen deprivation which is why you feel like you feel," Nardole tacked on but I didn't really care much about that or about the corpses in the hall.
"Where's the Doctor?"
Nardole glanced away, hesitating and I took a step forward to push the issue.
"Nardole, please."
My voice cracked a little at that and he sighed softly.
"The Doctor took you to safety. He gave you his helmet," he explained.
"I don't know how he survived," Ivan noted.
"Nardole," I breathed, voice tight. "Where is he?"
"He's in section twelve," Nardole muttered, grabbing my arm when I went to move. "Ash, he was in the vacuum for too long. He's mostly okay but—"
"I know," I told him, eyes welling up again as my expression pinched and crumbled. "Y-You think I don't know that? He would do anything for…" I grit my teeth, turning away from him before the tears could fall and I took another breath to try and hold them back. "H-He's an idiot. A Goddamn fucking moron. He should've just—"
I cut myself short, hating the feelings of inadequacy that filled me to the brim because of this. Just as I had started to feel like it was okay to matter to the doctor, that being here and knowing or not knowing something would be alright, it all came crumbling back down again.
"I'm sorry," Nardole said and I shook my head sharply.
"Don't. Don't you say that when this is…"
My fault. This is all my goddamn fault. He didn't say anything more, thankfully, and just led to me where the Doctor was waiting with Dahh-Ren on a bench and Bill was standing at the other end of the hall. I didn't worry about facing her just yet. If she was angry and upset then I would more than happily let her take it out on me but right now, I just needed to see him. He heard me coming too, standing up and facing me with clouded grey eyes. I tried to say something, anything really. An apology, begging for forgiveness, even an insult or a complaint about him risking so much for me but it all got lodged in my throat as he offered a small hint of a smile.
"Ash. You're up."
A choked sort of whine of a sound escaped me and instantly his expression softened. There was no hiding it from me. He couldn't play off his blindness with jokes like he could Bill. He couldn't reassure me that everything was okay and he would be fine, that it was only a short temporary blindness he'd be afflicted with because I knew it wasn't true. Not a lick of it was true. Yes, it would be temporary but he would be stuck like this for some time and it killed me inside that such a great man, an amazing person now had his abilities and intelligence crippled by a universal happenstance I had caused.
"Ash," he breathed, voice so soft that it only added to the guilt swirling within me, slicing through me like a knife.
I sagged, bringing my hands to my face and cursing the fact that I couldn't wipe away the tears dripping off the end of my chin or muffle the quiet sobs that escaped my lips.
"Oh, Ash."
Arms enveloped me and pulled me close as I reached around and grabbed feebly to him with the bulky suits we wore.
"I'll be okay," he murmured in reassurance. "You know I will."
And I did. I knew it would go away but that didn't make it hurt any less. It didn't calm the torrent of guilt that battered my soul.
"I-I'm so sorry."
"It's not your fault," he pressed. "I told you that. You had no part to play in this and you did your very best to stay calm and breathe. You held out for far longer than I expected you to and you did that for me. How could I ever blame you for any of this?"
It didn't matter. I'd hurt him whether it was a stupid trick of fate or not, and I pressed further against him in my frustration as I ground my teeth tight enough to ache.
"Ash, please," he begged, clinging to me just as tightly. "Don't do this to yourself."
But how could I not? I practically screamed at him, struggling to catch my breath between the tears and the painful stitch in my side. You didn't deserve this. If I had just… done something.
"Ash, I need you," he said softly, lightly pulling away and placing his hands on my neck again as I pressed a hand uselessly against my forcefield. "You can argue with me all you want later. You can cater to my every dying whim if that will make you feel better but right now, I need you to help me see, okay? You keep me right and I need that if we're going to get out of here alive."
I knew he was right and I nodded, feeling him sigh as he pressed our forcefields together again, undoubtedly just as frustrated as I was about the lack of actual contact we could make.
"Breathe," he murmured, slowly breathing himself and walking me through calming down. "How many animals have you put on poor Old McDonald's farm then, eh?"
That broke a choked chuckle out of me as he lightly squeezed the back of my neck with a half smile of his own.
"That's better. Now, help me think. All the hints you can give."
"What's the plan?" Bill asked from nearby, somehow managing to not sound furious with me while pointedly ignoring me at the same time.
Dahh-Ren stood up. "Well, we've all been trying to get a radio working and the doctor's been… thinking."
"Didn't I send you to get me a latte?" The Doctor joked, making the man roll his eyes as Abby spoke up bitterly.
"Don't mean to hurry you but in seven hundred breaths I'll be dead."
"I need to think," the Doctor declared, gripping my hand and tugging me away from the rest of the group, though I quickly tugged him slightly to the side to avoid some metal scraps on the ground.
A buzzing alarm started up and Abby grinned at the sign of hope.
"It's a transponder from a ship," she reported as Dahh-Ren went to pick up a phone and try and contact them, but I allowed the Doctor to pull me away from the others.
Bill, of course, followed.
"Doctor? Are you okay?" She asked and he turned toward her voice with a smug grin.
"Bill, I've got no Tardis, no sonic, about ten minutes of oxygen left and now I'm blind. Can you imagine how unbearable I'm going to be when I pull this off?"
Bill didn't look amused though and I just kept my solemn gaze on the floor, clinging to the Doctor's hand in a vain effort to keep myself grounded in the present and not go drifting off into my current overwhelming insecurities.
"Don't do this," Bill said shortly. "You always do this."
"Do what?"
"Make jokes to distract me from whatever's about to kill us."
"What else are jokes for?"
"Yeah? And are your jokes going to somehow fix the fact that Asher caused all this?"
I felt the Doctor's hand tighten on mine as he took a threatening step forward but I grabbed his arm, keeping him back.
"Bill—"
"Doctor, it's fine," I muttered, knowing he was angry.
"No, in fact, it is not fine. I will not have anyone blaming you for this, companion or otherwise. You had no control over what happened."
"But she knows!" Bill argued. "You told me she knows what's going to happen."
"She knows one timeline! One possibility! She doesn't know every detail just as you don't remember what you had for breakfast last week!" The Doctor argued.
"But she had to have known something! She could've stopped this!"
"She could not!"
"You're blind!"
"And I would be dead if it weren't for her!" He countered, shutting her up as he closed his eyes and took a steadying breath to calm himself down, voice sharp and bitter. "She doesn't know her own part in this. She has never known what changes she will cause just by being here and you should be grateful she had the defective suit because maybe, in some other timeline, it would've been you."
Bill flinched as though she'd been slapped as I swallowed past the lump in my throat knowing that that was exactly what had happened. Thankfully, before either one of us could say something more, Nardole rounded the corner with Dahh-Ren on his heels.
"Doctor, there's a rescue ship on the way."
"We've picked up a company transponder," Dahh-Ren said with a hopeful smile but Abby was suspicious.
"If there's a rescue ship on the way, then how can the rescue ship already be here?"
The Doctor went to make a funny quip probably, but I tugged lightly on his suit.
"Doctor, if it's the company's transponder—"
He was quick to catch on. "Then, they might not be rescue at all. We need to get to the core. Quickly."
"Who are you anyway?" Abby questioned. "Why should we trust you when you're pointing fingers at our company?"
"I'm the Doctor," he declared with such confidence despite his blindness that even I felt it. "I will do everything in my power to save all your lives and when I do, you will spend the rest of them wondering who I was and why I helped you. If anyone's offering a better deal, be my guest. And I trust Asher with my life. If she says someone is mucking around, then I'm bound to believe her."
"You didn't save Tasker, did you?" Abby accused. "And he believed you. Trusted you and it's your so-called friend's fault you're blind, at the end of the day."
He bristled again at the accusation but I heard a noise and spotted the corpses back the way we'd come taking their first steps across the threshold. I released him instantly as Abby turned her gun on him with a snarl.
"Tasker is dead now. Can you give me one good reason why you shouldn't join him?"
"Dahh-Ren!" I called out, drawing his attention and grabbing him by the arm, and jerking him away before a corpse could grab him. "We need to go, now!"
Abby moved past the Doctor and started firing her gun at the corpses, calling over her shoulder as I pulled Dahh-Ren past her.
"Head to the reactor core! Run!"
I let Dahh-Ren go and grabbed the Doctor once the blue man was running on his own, doing my best to lead him through the halls.
"They knew we were there somehow," Ivan said once we'd put some distance between us and the corpses.
"Voice rec. Had to be."
"It doesn't matter how they found us," I pressed. "What matters is how we get out of this. If this is the company coming after us because of money, then we need to—" I cut myself off when my suit abruptly released the Doctor's arm and froze me to the spot. "Ooh, not now."
The Doctor stopped, turning in Nardole's grip. "Ash? Ash, what's wrong?"
"I-It's the suit," I said as the group doubled back to try and help. "I can't move."
"The sequence is jammed," Ivan said as he checked the back of it and I closed my eyes with a steadying breath. "It needs a reboot."
"How long will that take?" The Doctor asked with a hint of worry.
"Too long," Nardole breathed.
"Okay, we'll pick her up. Come on."
They went to try but I was already shaking my head as the magnetic boots turned on and my suit spoke up.
"Warning. This is an illegal maneuver."
"The suit won't let us," Abby said. "Health and safety."
"Health and safety?" Nardole scoffed.
"Doctor?" Bill asked, worry tinting her voice despite how she'd reacted initially regarding this mess.
"Okay, get her out of her suit. Give her mine," the Doctor offered.
"The sequencer controls the release clamps. We can't get her out," Ivan informed him quietly, sensing his crumbling resolve.
"Well, we can't leave her here. They'll kill her!" Nardole shouted, panicking as well.
"Please do not interfere with the operation of this suit. Fines may be incurred."
"Doctor," I said, voice as steady as I could make it and drawing his sightless gaze to me. "D-Doctor, please. You have to listen."
"Ash, I'm doing my best," he urged, placing a hand on my neck. "I won't leave you here."
"Doctor, listen," I urged. "R-Remember what I said. It's greed. I-It's all about greed. You have to leave me."
"Ash—"
"Doc," I said as sharply as I could manage, wishing I could call him something more personal but not knowing if he even had such a name. "I'll be okay. It's just like back with Clara, remember?"
"Clara?" He questioned, brows furrowed and I winced.
I forgot that he wouldn't remember her yet. That her memories had been erased from his mind.
"Back when we were in that underwater base," I said instead, hearing the corpses growing closer with every second and trying to speed it up. "W-When we had to trick the ghosts."
Recognition flickered over his face and while he looked hesitant, I could see the cogs turning.
"What if there was never a hack?" The Doctor breathed, speaking up a little as the others turned to look at him. "What if this is just business? Business as usual?"
"What do you mean?" Bill pressed but the Doctor's gaze was pinned on me as he pressed our forcefields together with a soft sigh.
"Do you trust me?"
There was no hesitation this time. No second-guessing, not questioning myself or questioning him. If there was one thing I trust in this universe, it was the Doctor.
"Yes," I breathed back, wishing I could press all the whirling emotions and sincerity toward him without the damn suits in the way. "Yes, with my life. With everything."
He cracked a smile and gave the back of my neck a reassuring squeeze. "I'll see you soon."
I nodded, clenching my eyes shut so I didn't have to watch him walk away, telling myself that it would work out. I knew Bill survived and I hoped that I would too, that the Doctor had saved me already even as the corpses caught up to me and one grabbed my suit.
"Please remain calm while your central nervous system is disabled. Your life is in our hands."
"I'm sorry," I breathed, looking up and finally catching sight of him as the door closed behind him. "I-I… I love you."
The quiet admission fell on deaf ears though. The bulkhead was closed and I had said it so quietly that he would've never heard past the stomping of the corpses and the panic of those around him. I wished he did though, because I was scared and if this did end up being the end for some reason or another, I wanted him to know. Go figure it would take me possibly dying to admit it properly to myself and as my body seized up from my suit shutting down my nervous system, I hoped that he would forgive me for what happened.
The Doctor was doing his best to work with what he had while Nardole argued against his actions.
"Doctor, this isn't going to work."
"Isn't it? Why? What do you think I'm doing?" He bit out, struggling to focus on his actions and what he could tell with the bulky suit hindering his sense of touch and his hearing alone.
"Electrolysis. Splitting water into hydrogen and oxygen," Nardole replied.
"Oh, that's clever. I wish I could see me doing that," the Doctor drawled, hauling cables across the floor.
"Doctor, that water is cooling the nuclear core. We'd enjoy five minutes of oxygen before the whole thing overheated and blew."
"Five minutes?" Bill questioned, tear tracks on her face after assuming the worst for Asher and being guilty for how she'd acted toward the woman before.
"Yes, five whole minutes! We could boil the hell out of an egg! Stop being such a quitter!" The Doctor scolded Nardole who finally spoke up about the elephant in the room.
"Doctor, it wasn't your fault. You couldn't have saved her!"
The Doctor ground his teeth for a moment, closing his eyes and remembering the sad but loving gaze that Asher had offered him in her last moments before he walked away.
"You know what's wrong with this universe? Believe me, I've looked into it. Everyone says it's not their fault. Well, yes, it is. All of it. It's all your fault. So, what are you going to do about it?"
"There's nothing we can do! She's… dead."
"She's no more dead than you are. Than I am. Than everyone on this station is. Get me to a keyboard."
"You… You saved her?" Bill asked, catching on to what he was saying. "But how?"
"He can't have. It's impossible," Nardole argued. "Why do you need a keyboard?"
"Because I'm not trying to make oxygen," the Doctor said sharply, knowing they were wasting time. "Keyboard. Now, please!"
"You have a plan."
"Damn right I do," he replied as he was led to a keyboard. "I would never leave Ash alone to die but in order for her to live, we all need to get out of this."
"What plan?" Ivan asked, having overheard them.
"The big one. The one you've been waiting for all your life," he declared as Abby spotted him and questioned it.
"What's he doing?"
Nardole eyed the screen. "Coolant system again."
"Yes, I've rejigged it a tiny little bit. Either that or I've really screwed up the plumbing. It's tough when you're blind," the Doctor explained.
"We need to know about this plan," Abby pressed.
"Uh-huh. The nice thing about life is that, however bad it gets, there's always one last option available. Dying well."
The computer began to beep and Abby rushed over in shock, looking at what the monitor displayed in a panic.
"No, no!"
"What is it?" Ivan asked as she went to another keyboard.
"Our life signs. He's wired them to the coolant system. If we die, it vents."
"When the suits kill us—and they are going to kill us—the core will blow and the whole station will be destroyed. One very big boom," the Doctor declared, trying to catch his breath with their thinning oxygen supply.
"Is that really the best you've got? Revenge?" Nardole questioned but Bill spoke up.
"No. No, because Asher wouldn't want that. She would never want that and he knows it. So what did she say?"
"What?" Nardole questioned, confused.
"Asher knows things, yeah? Not everything, not all the time, but enough. Enough for you to trust her and listen to everything she offers. Like hints." Bill clapped her hands. "She said the company was behind this."
"He's locked us out of the subroutine," Ivan announced as Abby looked over at the doors.
"They're through the third lock."
"Open them," the Doctor declared. "It is revenge but not all of it."
"Revenge against the company," Bill said, understanding.
"They sent rescue ships!" Abby argued as the Doctor shouted over her.
"No, they didn't! There isn't any rescue ships," he said, calming himself. "Don't you see? The suits are doing exactly what they were designed to do. What your employers are telling them to do."
"And that would be?" Ivan asked, hesitant to believe him when he was starting to look mad in their eyes.
"Save the oxygen that you are wasting. You've become inefficient. You even told me. Your conveyors were down."
"So everyone had to die?" Abby breathed in disbelief but surprisingly, Dahh-Ren spoke up.
"For money," he said, catching his crewmate's eyes. "She said it before, that woman. She said it was about greed."
"Asher was right from the start," the Doctor said, glad that she had made such an impact on even just one of the crew after saving his life. "You are just organic components and you're no longer efficient. So, you're being thrown away. Don't believe me? Access the log on the rescue ship."
"No need," Dahh-Ren replied solemnly. "I was checking before… before we ran. I thought it didn't make sense but… the ship left before our distress call."
"They're not your rescuers. They're your replacements," the Doctor said to the stunned crew members. "The end point of capitalism. A bottom line where human life has no value at all. We're fighting an algorithm, a spreadsheet. Like every worker, everywhere, we're fighting the suits."
A klaxon went off and Ivan looked at the monitors in worry. "They're nearly through."
"Open up. Let's send them a message. Let's teach them a lesson they will never forget. If they take our lives, we take their station and every penny they will ever make from it. Die well! It's the finish line! It's winning!" The Doctor declared and even Abby had to agree with that, bitterness rolling through her at the knowledge that the company was throwing them away like useless garbage.
"Open it."
Ivan sighed but opened the doors, letting the corpses in suits step in with Asher's pale, dead face in the front.
"Doctor. Doctor, it's Asher," Nardole whispered since he couldn't see.
"Of course it's Asher. FAte and me, we have a thing," he whispered back before speaking up to the suits. "Hello, suits! Our deaths will be brave and brilliant and unafraid. But above all, suits, our deaths will be… expensive!"
The suits stopped immediately and the Doctor started working his way up the trail of suits, passing on the information to each one of them.
"Check your readings. We die, your precious station dies. The whole thing will blow. The company will make the biggest loss in its history. A moment ago, we were too expensive to live. Now we're more expensive dead. Welcome to the rest of your lives."
"But you said that we were going to die," Abby argued.
"Ah, technically, I said you were as dead as Asher. Probably should've mentioned, Asher's not dead."
He reached over and pressed a button on her suit and Asher sucked in a desperate lungful of air as she started to come to again.
"I saw earlier her suit battery was too low. Not enough for a lethal dose. I know what it takes to kill someone."
"A-Ass," she breathed, blinking hard and struggling to stay upright as the suits approached everyone.
"Love you too," the Doctor hummed, relieved and amused.
"What are they doing?" Abby asked, cautious of the approaching corpses.
"Relax. They're giving us their oxygen. It's good for business," the Doctor informed her as their oxygen tanks were swapped out with new ones.
"I'm not sure I'm very happy about it," Nardole muttered as Asher had her elbow grabbed by the Doctor to help her as she faltered.
"I-I'm sorry," she breathed, lungs hitching painfully again for a moment as the Doctor rolled his eyes.
"Enough of that. We're alive, aren't we? I temporarily killed you and you temporarily blinded me. I think we're pretty even."
She choked out a small laugh, tinted with a hint of hysteria that they were both willing to ignore for now. It had been a long day and thankfully the worst of it was over. The group headed back to the Tardis where Nardole was quick to try and help the Doctor recover his eyesight as Abby complained.
"You could have told us your actual plan in the first place."
"I could have told Asher her battery was too weak to kill her, but the suits would have heard. I try never to tell the enemy my secret plan. That, and she already knew," he mused as Nardole finished up with a smile.
"Better?"
The Tardis chirped as he hummed. "Ah, we're back in the tardis. When did that happen?"
"Thank you, Doctor," Abby said as he stood up again. "For all that you've done. I'm sorry that I didn't have more faith in your methods."
"Ah, don't mention it. Now I can set you down on a hub world outside of corporate control, or anywhere, really. The universe is your crustacean."
"Head office," Abby said firmly. "We've got a complaint to make."
"I think we can arrange that. Promise me you'll be loud?"
"Promise," Abby smirked as he sent the Tardis off to take them home and return the rest of them to his office at the school.
Bill thanked the Doctor with a hug that he complained about before dashing home and Nardole was sent off to make tea after checking up on Asher. She'd been given an alien version of an inhaler to help with the leftover pain in her lungs to take once an hour for the next four hours but was otherwise fine. She followed the Doctor out of the Tardis though, watching him as he trailed his fingers over the edge of his desk and found his office chair with seemingly no difficulty. Once seated, he went quiet and leaned back slightly, closing his now-cleared eyes before he spoke.
"You're thinking too hard," he grumbled, knowing she was still watching him and feeling the guilt easily despite them not having yet touched since removing their suits. "This isn't on you."
"So you keep saying," she murmured, the guilt obvious in her voice as she hesitantly approached; a hand curled around the golden marks on her arm.
She hadn't mentioned anything about the tingling sensation she still felt in it to Nardole but was just convinced it was some screw-up after the oxygen deprivation or the suit messing with her nervous system. She reached the end of his desk but didn't move any closer and the Doctor sighed heavily.
"Who was it?" He asked, confusing her.
"What?"
He lifted a hand lazily. "You knew I'd be blinded which meant someone was supposed to run out of oxygen. Was it Bill?"
Asher pursed her lips but nodded with a soft "yes."
"And would you have blamed her for what happened to me?" He countered, knowing she wouldn't and she knew that as well. "Then, why place blame on yourself? I think blame-placing should be fair, don't you?"
"I… I knew—"
"Yes, and you did everything you could to prevent it, didn't you? I saw you regulating your breathing, keeping Bill calm, giving out hints to help me figure it all out sooner. You did what you could, Ash, and the universe didn't care. It rarely does so why do you insist on dragging yourself down over this?"
Asher's expression wobbled, opening her mouth before choking on the words and struggling to attempt them again.
"Ash," he sighed softly, straightening his chair and facing the direction he knew she was in. "You can't keep doing this. You know that."
"I-I was… I was just… God, I don't want you getting hurt because of me."
"It wasn't because of you."
"And Gallifrey wasn't because of you but you know how that feels," she countered, voice tight with guilt for even bringing it up but not knowing how else to explain. "It's not like I want this. I don't want to blame anyone but how can I when there will always be a chance for me to stop it or fix it?"
"There was no fixing this Ash. You tried."
"So why does it feel like I'm never enough?" She cried, scrubbing at her eyes in frustration. "I'm not special. I'm not even able to use my foreknowledge half the time and if I could just remember things better or, or know more then maybe—"
The Doctor reached out and grabbed her arm, tugging her toward him. She collapsed into him and wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her nose into the crook of it as her shoulders shook and she fought to take a shuddering breath.
"Nardole's going to scold you for working your lungs too hard," he lightly chided, though she made no comeback which was understandable given the amount of grief and anguish and guilt pouring off her in waves. "Ash, you are brilliant. An impossibility sure but you are… strong. Stronger in ways I could have never imagined. You were amazing today and you hardly knew a thing about what to do. Yet, you went out there and saved a life. Two lives. Mine included because I don't know if I could have dealt with the trip outside the shuttle if you hadn't done your best to breathe calmly."
Asher shook her head slightly against him but he hummed.
"Don't give me that. You helped so much with so little. You risked your life to help today and you didn't have to. You never have to and there are some adventures I almost wish you didn't but you do. You. Tiny little human you are, and you just go out there and run with me without a care in the world. You think of things and notice things I would never have taken a second glance at and you keep me right. You keep me from making poor decisions, from upsetting people… most people… some people."
She snorted softly and he smiled at being able to cheer her up even a little.
"You can be a right menace sometimes," he told her fondly as she started to pull away. "But I wouldn't have it any other way."
He reached up and brushed the tear tracks from her face, knowing they were there without needing to see them. Her gaze caught onto his sightless blue eyes though and he felt the guilt trickle up again as her own hand pressed up against his cheek. She settled her forehead against his, closing her eyes and he could hear her desperately wishing she could have helped him, could have saved his eyesight in some way. His hearts swelled at how worried and upset she was, pushing aside the self-blame she undoubtedly still carried and simply apologizing mentally for what he was going through and how hard it must be.
It upset him of course. Things were infinitely harder with no eyesight but he was alive. Asher was alive and well, with only minor effects left over from the oxygen deprivation. And they had saved three people, so what could be better than that? She was here in his arms full of love and compassion and he wouldn't want anything else in the universe at that moment. Taking a chance, he leaned in and kissed her. Very briefly as he knew she was still new to it all but she didn't move away. Her forehead was still pressed to his even though he could feel the heat from her flushed cheeks against his fingertips.
"Sorry," he apologized half-heartedly with a smile. "Couldn't help myself."
He couldn't see her expression but felt the fluttering trickle of unease and insecurity coming from her. Before he could reassure her though, she spoke.
"I don't know what I'm doing," she breathed, confusing him though he felt obligated to give her a response.
"Neither do I most of the time."
A small chuckle escaped her and much to his surprise, she kissed him back. It was short and shy, but it stunned him because he knew that this wasn't something she did. Not this early. Not this inexperienced, confused young woman who he always teased just to watch her cheeks flush and her to awkwardly shuffle on the spot. He didn't know when it started to happen, when she started to make the first move toward closing the distance between them. He had guessed but they had never felt right until now. Oh, his last regeneration was going to be so jealous.
"Doctor?"
He blinked hard, snapping himself out of his stupor at the tinge of worry in her voice. "Yes? What?"
He expected her to relax at seeing that she hadn't completely short-circuited his brain but the worry she was feeling only grew.
"Something… S-Something's happening with my arm. I-I don't—"
He jerked slightly forward, suddenly wishing he had his vision because anything to do with Asher's connection to the Tardis was a mystery and occasionally dangerous territory. He fumbled to grab hold of her, to try and feel mentally what might be going on when something strange happened.
For a brief second of time, he heard the Tardis's familiar whirring and chimes. His sightless gaze flickered over to where the ship was but this wasn't her, not really. This was something else. Something inside his head. No. No, not my head.
"Ash? Ash, talk to me. What is it?" He said, voice still tight with concern but not feeling as frantic as a moment ago.
The warmth of the Tardis had rolled over them both like a soothing balm, almost laughing at them before the feeling faded and the Doctor tightened his grip as Asher folded like a broken lawn chair.
"Ash? Ash!" He called out, clinging to her and blinking the fog out of his eyes as he shifted to pick her up and rush her toward the Tardis.
They burst through the doors and he placed her onto the jumpseat for now, looking over her as she breathed heavily with clenched shut eyes, curling toward her tattooed arm as the golden marks writhed on her skin. He wasn't sure what to do, turning toward the Tardis console and wondering if it was worth a trip to the med bay or if there was even anything there to help, when the Tardis seemed to huff in annoyance.
He was missing something.
Something important. Something right in front of his face and as he turned back to Asher, seeing her lying on the jumpseat as her pinched expression calmed, it clicked. A grin stretched across his face and a mad cackle of laughter escaped him as Asher's tired gaze finally drifted toward him.
"Oh. Oh-ho, you brilliant thing you are!" He laughed with glee, startling her as he pulled her upright and pressed his lips full up against hers; holding her face in his hands and pulling away as she stared dazedly at him in confusion.
"I can see," he said, beaming away before hauling her up from the seat with a yelp as he clung to her middle and swung her around. "I can see!"
He propped her up on the console then, leaning close and pressing his forehead against hers as her hands scrambled to find purchase on the awkward metal and her mouth tried to form her confused thoughts into words.
"I-I don't—W-What?"
"I. Can. See. I can see your bright blue eyes, the violet shade of your hair," he breathed, running a hand up the side of her head and across her scalp and secretly enjoying the small shiver it caused to run through her body. "I can see every bit of you and that ridiculous, miraculous arm of yours. You, Asher Watkins, gave me back my sight."