The next morning, Sonic had a hangover like a motherfucker. See, he did not take the time to run to speed up his metabolism and sober up.
"Sonic…" said Tails, waking up, "Were you out drinking last night?"
"Me? Drinking?" said Sonic, "You must be high!"
"I can smell it on your breath," said Tails, seeing as they had to share a queen-sized bed and their faces relatively close to each other.
"Fuck off!" said Sonic, getting out of the bed, "Anyway, I'm starving. I'll meet you down at breakfast."
With that, Sonic put on his shoes and took the elevator down to the hotel lobby. Tails followed shortly after. They were just in time for free breakfast, since the employees were getting ready to shut down the buffet. They loaded up their plates and sat down at a table.
"So…" started out Tails as he bit into a blueberry muffin, "How are we going to go about finding this so-called ultimate lifeform?"
"Beats me," said Sonic, sipping coffee, "I guess just ask around."
"But if we don't speak Spanish?" said Tails.
"Well, in case you haven't noticed," said Sonic, "Most people here speak Spanish."
"You mean English?" said Tails.
"Yeah, you know what I meant," said Sonic.
"So what?" said Tails, "We're just going to walk up to random people and ask if they've seen a black mutant hedgehog with red highlights around? I'm sure that will go down real well."
"I sense sarcasm in your voice," said Sonic.
"Indeed…" said Tails, "I think we should put up wanted posters. Across the entire island. Maybe even offer a cash reward."
"Hold up! Hold up!" exclaimed Sonic, shaking his finger at Tails, "I disagree. Why don't we just offer rings instead?"
"Well," said Tails, "I don't think normal people really care about rings like you do."
"Sure they do," said Sonic, "We'll just say it's a golden ring. Problem solved. People love anything gold."
"Okay, fine," said Tails, "We will give one golden ring to whoever can give us details as to the black hedgehog's whereabouts."
"Sounds good to me," said Sonic, as he finished his breakfast, "But how are we going to go about making these wanted posters?"
"I have an idea," said Tails.
Tails' idea was to go to an office supply store and buy paper and markers to make the posters DIY style. Which is just what they did. Neither Sonic nor Tails possessed very notable artistic skills. They spent the better part of the day in their hotel room making these sketchy-looking wanted posters with the words "WANTED" (English) and "QUERIDO" (Spanish) above a drawing of Shadow. They kind of looked like a chao had drawn them.
"All right," said Tails, "Now we just got to put these suckers up. You did put our contact info on the poster, didn't you Sonic?"
"Um…" said Sonic, "I kind of forgot…"
"What?!" exclaimed Tails, "How could you forget? You dumbass!"
"I'll just put it on the back, it'll be fine," said Sonic.
"I doubt anyone will see it on the back," said Tails.
"It'll be fine," Sonic repeated.
"Now we just have to put these posters up where there's the most foot traffic on the island," said Tails.
"That's great," said Sonic, "You go ahead and do that, I'll be in the bar."
"You're not going to help me put the posters up?" exclaimed Tails.
"Well, to be honest, I've got better things to do," said Sonic.
"Like what?" exclaimed Tails, "You're the one who wanted to locate the black hedgehog in the first place!"
"Yeah, well…" said Sonic, "I didn't think it'd be this much work. I kind of just want to go home now."
"No, Sonic!" shouted Tails, "If we've come this far… there's no turning back now! Come with me to put these posters up."
Sonic briefly considered performing his homing attack on Tails as he had done earlier in our story. But he ultimately decided against it.
"Fine," said Sonic, unenthusiastically, "Let's go."
And with that, the two left their hotel into the heart of San Juan. They only had managed to make about 50 posters between the two of them. They made sure to post the posters in places people frequented: outside of the McDonald's, for example. And also outside of a Panera. And also outside of a Costco.
Well, let's just say the people of Puerto Rico were very confused by these unprofessional bilingual wanted posters. Most of the managers of the aforementioned businesses ordered that they be taken down and thrown in the trash.
So Sonic and Tails were back at square one. But the day had come and gone. They returned back to the Mariott and repeated the same routine from the night prior: Tails went to bed early and Sonic hit the bar to binge drink Bacardí.