I need that gif of Mushu rising from the dead right now.
Hi! I'm alive! This last (almost) year was incredibly difficult for me. I, honest to god, lost all motivation to write at all for a good... 6-8 months. It sucked. Huge depressive episode, moved home, doing the SAHM thing, etc. etc. Shit has been tough, let me tell you.
Yet never once did I ever think of abandoning my sweet summer child. Wrote a chapter of Akasha's story, finally, wrote a few fics for another fandom... and eventually found my way back to this. We're doing the OC swap again, which is going to be HELLA fun, which likely also means we might not get another update from me for a bit LOL but I am still here to tell you I'm not gone, and this isn't done! I'm just slow, sometimes, and fast others. Lately... mostly slow. I'm getting there.
Once again, unedited chapter.
Thanks for sticking with me and my lil baby. :)
(Also, again, please forgive the screwed up formatting. I cannot for the life of me get it to work right on this site. If you want to see proper formatting, I suggest you read this on archiveofourown)
Amaryllis left the tavern with an energy to her steps-elation, delight, pure felicity, if only for a brief moment-until the inappropriateness of the situation seemed to settle in. She had spent the night with someone else. Someone other than her sister. The reminder caused her stomach to turn. Amaryllis had known that guilt was likely to strike her the next day, but she had still chosen to go. To spend precious time with another.
She found that she didn't regret it, not in the least. Yet she felt that she should. Like she had betrayed her sister, Mihris, their promise-she had betrayed herself. Gone back on her word.
No, no, she hadn't, had she? Ellana was safe. Solas had assured her of that. A single night of fun, while her sister slept, had to be okay. Surely, it was. Surely Ellana wouldn't mind? Not when there had been nights, before, during Arlathvhen, when her sister had left her to spend the night with someone else. And she had never blamed her for that. Though the situation had been different, hadn't it? Because Ellana had made no promises to Babae. The pledge was hers alone.
She shook her head, dispelling the thought. What was the point of going over it again and again? Amaryllis always came to the same conclusion. Nothing she did would ever satisfy her; nothing she gave up would ever be enough. But there were more important things at hand-far more important than her feelings. There always was.
Amaryllis preferred it that way.
Though her thoughts were dark, her steps stayed light, making quick work of the walk back to the cabin. She didn't stop to look around, to smell the roses, to wonder about the fact that the village had grown far, far too quiet, or that the paths were a tad too empty. Pushing open the cabin door, she stepped inside, letting the door shut behind her, and immediately gazed across the room to the bed, to where her sister was meant to be.
Instead, she found an empty bed, the blankets strewn aside; a breakfast tray, empty, as if the plates had been licked clean; and Ellana, nowhere to be seen. For once, Amaryllis didn't panic. There had to be an explanation for why her sister was gone that didn't include danger. She was trusted, now. The Herald of Andraste. They thought her chosen. Hand-picked from the masses for a greater good. It didn't matter how wrong they were, as long as their beliefs kept Ellana safe.
The door reopened just as Amaryllis whirled back around-an elvhen woman slammed straight into her, a high-pitched squeak leaving her as she flailed. Amaryllis was quick to grasp her arms so that she didn't fall.
"Ga son," she said, smiling as the elvhen woman gazed up at her, wide-eyed. "I'm sorry, I must have startled you."
"No, no, miss, don't apologize-it is I who should! Apologize. I'm terribly sorry for intruding, I only meant to come back and collect the breakfast tray. Make the bed for Lady Ellana."
"Where is she?" Amaryllis asked. Though she wasn't panicking, and she did find comfort in the knowledge of her sister's safety, she still needed to see her. Preferably before her anxiety caused her to vibrate out of her skin. "I wasn't here when she left. Do you happen to know where she is?"
"Y-yes," the elf answered quickly. "T-To the Chantry. Lady Cassandra said she wanted to see her the moment she awoke. At once, she said."
Amaryllis quickly grabbed her staff, shouting a "thank you" over her shoulder as she rushed back out of the cabin and up the path toward the Chantry. Guilt ate at her, as it always seemed to. She couldn't have picked a worse time to leave her sister-to allow her, yet again, to wake up alone. How strange it must have felt for Ellana. How terrifying. How disappointing to see how her sister failed her again and again.
Creators, she was foolish. Spending the night with a friend? She was surprised to find she didn't regret it-not entirely. The timing had been the worst, that much was obvious. But the freedom it had given her, how light she had felt after sharing some of her deepest thoughts with someone who was essentially a stranger? Emil had accepted it all. He'd enjoyed himself. He wanted to see her again. He wanted to be her friend. There was nothing to regret about that. Nothing at all.
If she continued to tell herself that, eventually she would believe it to be true. Eventually.
It was easy to see why the village had appeared so quiet. It seemed the entirety of its population had gathered before the Chantry's doors, most of them quiet, some of them seething. She could feel it in the air: their outrage.
Confusion caused her to pause behind the crowd. They were angry. Why on Ghilan'nain's green earth were they angry? Surely it wasn't because of her sister. Not after what she had done for them.
She walked closer, gently pushing her way through those gathered to approach the Chantry doors. There was murmuring-names spat beneath heaving breaths-but she did her best to ignore them.
"Open the doors for me, please," she asked of the Templars standing guard. "I need to see my sister."
The Templar to her right shook his head. "No, miss. I'm sorry, but you'll have to wait outside with the rest of the crowd. Our orders are to not let anyone through."
"But-"
"We truly are sorry, miss," the other commented. "We both saw what you did at the Temple. What the Herald did. We're truly grateful, for all that you've done. Especially after the way you were both treated."
"What? No, I-I only did what was right. There's no need to thank me."
"Not everyone would have," the one to her right spoke again. "There are those who would have run, the first chance they had. But neither you nor your sister did."
A few listening scoffed, then shouting began.
"Lies, all lies!"
"They saw what happened. Who are we to question them?"
"The Chancellor has denied those who support this heresy. If it were true, the Chancellor would be falling to his knees in worship!"
"The Chancellor is a fool! He saw nothing, yet questions those who have? Do you think all of them liars, those who witnessed the violence of the breach?"
"Liars and traitors alike!"
"How dare you!"
"How dare you, you traitorous whore-"
"Enough!"
The crowd split, chests heaving, lips curled with distaste. Not for the first time, Amaryllis found herself frozen, feet rooted to the ground. Commander Cullen approached with a scowl.
"Get back to your duties, all of you," he demanded of the crowd, waving them away brusquely. Then he turned to the guards. His frown deepened. "Why haven't you let her through?"
"Why-Knight-Commander, you ordered us to-"
Cullen sighed and lifted a hand to pinch the bridge of his nose. "Yes, I remember what I ordered you to do, however common sense dictates that you allow the Herald's sister to join her in the Chantry."
The guards swiftly stepped aside, staring down at their feet, chastised. And though Amaryllis was appreciative of the gesture, the way he had scolded the men, who had only been doing their job, didn't sit right with her. She might have kept quiet, knowing someone far more important lay ahead, waiting for her, yet again. Knowing how hard it had been for her, thus far, to even look at him without thinking of what had once been. Knowing that when she had, she hadn't quite liked what she had seen. Not that Amaryllis expected him to look at her at all, or in any way other than distaste, but somehow, it had hurt. All of this–all of it hurt. Hurt wasn't new to her. So why was it that this felt worse, somehow?
Steeling herself, she lifted her head to meet the Commander's gaze anyway, and said, "Please, don't reprimand them. They were only doing their jobs." Then quickly felt herself turning pink. The first real sentences she had spoken to the man and it was laced with obvious reproach?
The furrow in his brows smoothed. He nodded, bowing his head slightly toward her. "I'm sorry, I'm-you're right. My apologies to the both of you. This situation-and the added squabbling-have me on edge. I could have handled that far better than I did."
Amaryllis blinked in surprise. She had half expected to be met with shouting, or more of that stormy look in his eyes. Not this.
"No, Knight-Commander Cullen-"
"Please ser, don't apologize-"
Cullen, for all the tension he had held in his shoulders only a moment before, smiled, though it seemed a tad rueful. "This is not the Order, you two. I no longer hold that title. But-that doesn't matter. There are more important things at hand, like opening the doors for Lady Lavellan."
Despite the circumstances, Amaryllis found herself laughing. Lady Lavellan? It had a ring to it, sure. But she was no lady, and the idea of anyone referring to her as such was truly entertaining.
"Please," she said, smiling at the question in his expression. "Just 'Amaryllis' is fine."
"Right," he murmured back. "Lady Amaryllis."
"No, I-" she laughed again, shaking her head. "Nevermind." Amaryllis turned back to the Templars; they rushed to open the doors for her. She thanked them both.
"Lady Amaryllis." It was the Commander again. He lifted an arm to point toward the back of the Chantry hall. "You'll find them in the room at the end of the hall." He grimaced. "Just follow the Chancellor's shouts."
Nodding, she took a step inside and fought not to look back. The doors slammed shut behind her.
Her previously decent mood quickly dissipated. It seemed every waking moment was this way, as of late. The moment the entrance fell shut, she could hear the Chancellor's yelling, his words plain as day, even this far from the door at the end of the hall.
"She should be taken to Val Royeaux immediately, to be tried by whomever becomes the next Divine!"
Amaryllis moved swiftly, storming her way toward the sound. Her footsteps echoed throughout the empty vestibule, along with the older man's indignant tone. Her hands curled into fists at her side.
"We do not believe her to be guilty, Chancellor," spoke Cassandra, voice loud to match his, but steady. Calm.
Though filled with rage as she was, Amaryllis stood behind the closed door, shifting, unsure. Should she burst in? Would that not make matters worse for Ellana? But–she couldn't stay out there, on the other side, waiting, letting her sister face these accusations, this asshole alone. She had left her alone enough already. She had done enough damage as of late. Ellana needed her. Ellana needed her.
"Guards," the Chancellor spoke again, obviously ignoring the Seeker. Amaryllis could imagine him pointing a finger at her sister. "Chain her. I want her prepared for travel. I will personally deliver her to the capital for trial."
"Disregard that, and leave us."
The doors opened, and two more Templars strode out. They stopped briefly as if surprised to see her standing right outside, but not wanting to waste the opportunity, Amaryllis steeled herself, marched past them, and entered the room.
It was as dark and dreary as the rest of the Chantry had been, with no windows to speak of. Candles dimly lit the long, wooden tables that took up the majority of the space. Across those tables stood Cassandra, her brow furrowed in irritation, and Leliana, whose arms were crossed, her expression blank. Then there was the Chancellor, baring his teeth in distaste.
And Ellana, whose sunflower eyes widened in shock. Without waiting for an invitation, Amaryllis took to her sister's side, close enough that their arms brushed. Close enough that she could take her sister's hand, if need be.
"She should be facing trial as well," was the next thing out of the Chancellor's mouth. He pointed an angry, curled finger at her, his lips twisting into something ugly, something hateful. "Who's to say they haven't been scheming this entire time? Plotting Thedas' demise? You're walking a dangerous line, Seeker."
Amaryllis was appalled. Scheming? All of those deaths? No matter how she looked–could this man truly be seeing her sister as that dangerous?
"The breach may be stable, but it is still a threat, Chancellor. Countless lives are at stake here," Cassandra continued.
"And what of those already lost?" He asked. "What of those stolen from us by these monsters?"
Ellana began to tremble beside her–Amaryllis slid her hand into her sister's, gripping her tightly. Ellana squeezed back.
Monsters. He had called them monsters.
"Even after all that my sister has done for you," Amaryllis interrupted, glaring at the man who dared to sneer back. "After the blood she shed, the injury she sustained, you still believe her to be a suspect? You truly believe that she and I could have done this?"
"I'd be a damned fool not to!"
"No," Cassandra threw her hand up to stop him, then turned to Amaryllis, sincerity in her gaze. "We do not."
Leliana uncrossed her arms. "Someone was behind the explosion at the Conclave. Someone Most Holy did not expect. Perhaps they died with the others. Or, perhaps they have allies who yet live."
"Are you insinuating that I am a suspect?" The Chancellor threw his arms up, further enraged. "This is beyond incomprehensible. You would suspect me, but not the prisoner?"
"You, and many others."
"We heard the voices at the temple," Cassandra said. "Divine Justinia called to her for help. We saw glimpses of what came to pass. The Herald seemed just as shocked by what was happening as the Divine."
"So you're calling this what? A coincidence?"
"No, Chancellor. Not a coincidence. Providence." Cassandra's expression turned bright, her eyes shining with what Amaryllis could only describe as hope. "The will of the Maker. He has sent her to us in our darkest hour."
Creators help us.
Ellana grew tense beside her, taking a shaking step back in shock. "What? You do realize I'm Dalish, right? And a mage? I don't believe in your maker. Not to mention just a few days ago, you had my sister and I in chains. You believed me a mass murderer. You wanted me dead. And now, somehow, you have decided I'm your savior?"
"I have not forgotten. I was wrong, and… perhaps I still am. But no matter what you are, or what you believe, not one of us can deny that you have been exactly what we needed when we needed it."
Leliana placed her hands on the table, leaning toward them. "The breach still remains, Lady Lavellan. The mark upon your hand is still our only hope of closing it."
"If it can even be closed," Ellana answered.
"We believe it can. You have sealed rifts. You have stopped the breach's expansion; it now lies dormant. If the mark can do those things, why can't it close the breach?"
"This–This is not for you to decide!" The Chancellor cried.
Cassandra turned and walked toward one of the many bookshelves lining the walls. Pulling out a book, she dropped it on the tabletop before the Chancellor, pointing to the cover inlaid with the image of an eye. It seemed eerily familiar.
"No," he murmured, shaking his head. "I will not stand for this, I will not–"
The Seeker faced him with determination. "We will close the breach. We will find those responsible. And we will restore order. With or without your approval." Then, she looked to both Ellana and Amaryllis, and said, "This is a writ from the Divine, granting us the authority to act. It is under her order that we move."
"To rebuild the Inquisition of old," Leliana added. "To find those who would stand against the chaos."
"Justinia is dead. You expect me to believe that she ordered you to work against the Chantry?"
"I expect you to believe nothing," Cassandra said. "Do what you must, Chancellor. Denounce us. You will soon find the truth you are looking for, but I promise you, it will not be the answer you are wanting to hear."
"You cannot do this, the Chantry will not–"
Laying her hand upon the cover, Cassandra stared at the ceiling as if calling upon her Maker for strength. She took a deep breath, then looked back at the Chancellor.
"As of this moment, I declare the Inquisition reborn."
It was only then that Amaryllis remembered the title of the game.