Chapter 19
Nick was understandably upset about the loss of the ornament but as both Victoria and Audra had told Millie, he didn't get angry about it. It was a little bewildering to her that he didn't get angry at her for breaking it, when she'd broken something of Cade's he'd give her a thorough beating as punishment for not being careful enough with his belongings. When she'd told Nick about what had happened however, he'd assured her that it was alright. He expressed he knew it had been an accident and he assured her he wasn't angry with her. She'd been expecting something more, for him to get mad and give her some kind of punishment for messing up but he didn't. He'd only smiled, patted her shoulder and told her to be more careful next time.
That night however, Millie sat over her desk for hours, tediously gluing the ornament together again piece by piece. The larger pieces had been easy enough to fit together but the smaller pieces proved extremely difficult to figure out where they belonged. It was like a jigsaw puzzle she was putting together that had no picture to refer back to. Hours slipped by and she didn't stop until she had painstaking glued it back together. It wasn't perfect by any means but she had tried her best.
It was three in the morning by the time she had finished, leaving the ornament on her desk to dry. She was asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow, so exhausted that for one night she didn't dream or have nightmares. After going to sleep, the next thing she knew was a loud knocking on her door and was woken to Nick hollering that it was breakfast time. "Coming. Coming." She replied as she wearily dragged herself out of bed. "Give me five minutes."
Ten minutes later she emerged from her room and headed downstairs, the rest of the family already gathered around the table waiting to begin breakfast. She apologized for her tardiness and after Heath had said the blessing, they dug into their morning meal. Eating the food she'd placed on her plate, Millie remained quiet, watching and observing the conversation. As usual, Nick said the most with Jarrod and Victoria weighing in on different topics. Eugene put his opinion forward also while Audra and Heath for the most part, remained quiet.
With breakfast eaten, the various members of the family left to go about their day. It was Christmas Eve, a lot still left to be done for both the party and Christmas day. After finishing her meal, Millie rose and on her way past Nick, stopped briefly to speak to him. "Nick, could you please come see me in my room before you head out?"
"Ah yeah. Yeah sure." He was slightly surprised by her request as he wiped his mouth on his napkin. "I'll be there in a minute."
She nodded and left, returning her empty plate to the kitchen. "Good morning Silas."
"Good mornin', Miz Millie." He greeted in return. "Fine day, isn't it?"
"Must be the fact that Christmas is in the air." She replied with a little smile. "I've just got something to take care of and then I'll be back. Is there anything I can help with?"
"We'll find you something to do, I'm sure."
"Thank you." Heading out of the kitchen once more she made her way up the stairs back to her room. Nick hadn't arrived yet which was fine and she went over to her desk, gently picking up the ornament she'd put back together. Looking it over, she really hoped that Nick would understand her gesture. She felt so bad after breaking it, even though it had been an accident. It had been put back together as best she could and though the images didn't quite line up perfectly anymore, she didn't think she could have done a better job. It would have to do.
Hearing the jingle of spurs coming up the hallway she quickly hid the bauble behind her back.
"Well, what's this about?" Nick questioned, joining her in her room. "Make it quick, I've got to get to work."
"It'll just take a moment. I just wanted to give this back to you." She replied, bringing the ornament out and placed it into his hand. "And I'm really sorry I broke it."
He was speechless for a moment, looking at the glued together ornament. Some of the smaller pieces were hardly bigger than this thumbnail and yet, she'd managed to get it back together again. "Oh Millie." His tone had softened and work was forgotten as he looked back up at her. "It must have taken you hours to put this back together."
"I didn't get to bed till three this morning. That's why I was late for breakfast."
"Three?" He repeated in disbelief, touched that she would go to all this trouble just to put the ornament back together. "Millie, you shouldn't have. I was happy for it to be thrown out."
"I wasn't going to throw it out without trying to fix it first." She replied softly. "And I didn't mind staying up late, I wanted to finish it so I could give it back. I don't think it's a good idea for it to be put back on the tree but, I don't know how strong it'll hold but at least it's whole again."
"It mightn't be able to go on the tree but I'm gonna stick this right on the mantelpiece." Looking back down at the bauble, his thoughts returned to the day they'd brought the ornaments. They hadn't had much that year but he'd seen the ornaments in a store window and begged his father to purchase them. He chuckled a little as he ran his thumb over one of the joins. "You don't know how much this means to me Millie, this was the last one left from that set. The others were lost or broken over the years but this one, this one you've put back together and made it all the more special. Thank you."
She smiled a little, just pleased that he was happy with it. "Well, just keep it far away from me. I don't want to have to put it back together again. Took too long the first time."
Nick chuckled and the two of them headed out to go downstairs. "No, this one's going straight on the mantelpiece then safely into storage for another year." Arriving in the living room, Nick made a space in between the pine-cone decorations and carefully set the ornament down between them in the middle. "There. It's perfect."
Millie smiled a little more as she looked at the reindeer bauble on the mantelpiece. Maybe in a way, she could identify with that broken bauble. Maybe what was broken could be put back together again, even if it did end up turning out a little different then it was before.
The day fairly flew by with preparations for the Christmas Eve party and soon, it was almost time for the guests to arrive. With an eye on the time, Millie helped Victoria and Audra complete the finishing touches needed for the evening. Most of the morning had been spent in the kitchen helping to prepare food for the party and then the afternoon had been taken up with final preparations. Finally however, they were finished and could take some time to get themselves ready before the first of the guests arrived.
Like for Thanksgiving, Audra let Millie borrow one of her dresses for the occasion and then helped her with her hair. When she had finished, quite the transformation had taken place under her hands. Again she'd styled Millie's hair in one of the newer styles she'd seen in one of her magazines and it really suited her. Combined with the fancy dress, Millie looked like a fashionable, respectable young lady.
When Audra had finished, Millie took a moment to spin around in the mirror and admire how she looked. "You really work wonders Audra. I look like a different person."
Audra chuckled. "My brothers aren't going to recognize you."
She giggled as she stood in front of the mirror, admiring the dress. "This is the nicest dress I've ever worn. Thank you Audra."
"You're welcome. Oh, just one last thing." She exclaimed, going to her jewelry box. After looking through it for a moment, she found what she was looking for and returned to her. "Here." She had a necklace to complete her look. "May I?"
Millie nodded and Audra exchanged her locket for the necklace she was lending her. "What's in your locket?" She questioned, handing it back to Millie. "I don't think you've mentioned it before."
"Just a photo of my folks."
Audra nodded. "Maybe you could show me it sometime."
"Maybe. Well, shall we head downstairs?"
"We should. The guests will be arriving soon."
The two girls headed out of Audra's room and Millie stopped by hers quickly to deposit her locket safely in its hiding place before going downstairs. As she came down, Jarrod came to meet her at the foot of the stairs. "My, don't we look beautiful tonight my dear?"
Millie blushed at his compliment. "Thank you."
"Shall we?" He offered her his arm and together they walked to the living room where the rest of the family were waiting for their guests to arrive.
"Who's the lovely lady on your arm Jarrod?" Nick questioned as Jarrod and Millie joined them. "I don't believe we've had the pleasure. Nick Barkley." He teased as he took her hand and kissed it.
Millie giggled gleefully. "It's me, silly. Millie"
"Oh Millie, well now, I didn't recognize you in those fancy clothes. Your lookin' right perdy this evening."
"Thanks Nick." She smiled. "You don't clean up bad yourself either." Fitting for the occasion, all the Barkley men had donned suits, even Heath who was looking somewhat uncomfortable in his. In her opinion, they all looked like fine gentlemen when they dressed up.
"Well, do I get a look in too?" Audra teased, twirling around to show off her new dress. "What do you think?"
"Very nice Audra." Jarrod assured her. "And Mother-" He continued as Victoria arrived. "lovely as usual."
"Thank you Jarrod. Now, have we got everything ready?"
"Yes Mother." Audra chuckled. "We've been over everything twice already. We're ready."
"Good. Good. Just want to be sure…" Outside, the sound of a horse and buggy coming up the drive could be heard. "It sounds like our guests have started to arrive."
"Now, Millie." Jarrod turned to her as the rest of the family went to greet their guests. "I know this is going to be a new experience for you. There's going to be a lot of people you haven't met before. If you find it's getting to be too much, just go find a quiet spot and come back when you are ready."
Swallowing her apprehension, Millie nodded. "Is there anything else I should know?"
:Just mind your manners, be polite, and try to have a good time."
"Yes sir.'"
"Good girl. Now if you'll excuse me, I'd better join the family greeting our guests."
Jarrod left and Millie quickly retreated to a corner of the room as the first of the guests began to filter into the house. Soon the house was filled with people she didn't know, Victoria and Audra in their element as they entertained their friends. Laughter and conversation flowed as old friends caught up with each other, the party bringing the community together.
Shortly after everyone had arrived, Audra took her place at the piano and the family led out in some Christmas carols. After singing a few of their own choosing, they requested suggestions from the crowd and after another few songs, it was time for them to exchange gifts.
Millie hung back in her little corner, watching it all. Everyone seemed to be having a good time but she didn't know anyone and the thought of going out and socializing terrified her. She'd never seen so many people gathered together at one time, she'd never been to any parties either. The most socializing she had done growing up was the occasional trip into town when Hosea and Ruth went in to purchase supplies. They had always kept to themselves, Millie had grown up on her own on the ranch. She'd never had any friends, not having been allowed to go to school since the ranch was too far from town. Living with Cade had been worse; both she and Ruth had been isolated on that old ranch. Cade always took care of the shopping and business himself, he never allowed them to go to town. After arriving at his place, Millie had never left until she'd managed to escape. It was all new to her, being around other folk.
"What do you think, Millie?" Nick questioned, coming over to join her. He'd noticed her sitting out on her own and made a note to go see how she was coping with the evening.
"Lots of people here." She replied with a slight touch of being overwhelmed in her voice. "I've never seen so many folks in one place."
"Well, we Barkley's know how to throw a party." He chuckled. "Why don't you come meet some people? There's a few girls your age here this evening."
Millie shook her head. "I'm just happy to sit here for now."
"Alright." He got the hint not to push the issue on her. "If you want me to introduce you though, come find me."
She nodded and he left again, Millie returning to her observing. Heath seemed to be managing rather well with the proceedings, having found himself a lovely looking lady to speak with. Victoria was surrounded by a few of her old friends, definitely in her element. Audra had joined a couple of her friends, one of them she recognized from the cafe. Nick had found himself someone else to talk to and Eugene was off with some of his old buddies.
"Judge Banner, it's good to see you." Jarrod greeted warmly as he finally was able to break away from conversation with other guests and make his way over to the judge. "I'm pleased you could make it."
"You know me Jarrod, I never miss the opportunity to visit with the Barkley's." Elijah replied as he shook his hand. "Great turn out here tonight."
"Yes. Yes, it is." Jarrod agreed. "There's someone I'd like you to meet. If you'd come this way…" The judge nodded and followed him through the crowd, leading him to where Millie had sat tucked away in a corner for the evening, observing the party. "Judge Banner, I'd like you to meet Millie Anders."
He smiled at her. "It's a pleasure Miss Anders."
Millie forced herself to smile back as he kissed her hand. "It's nice to meet you too sir." Wanting nothing more than to run and hide, she forced herself to maintain some essence of respectability. She wouldn't run, but she would walk quickly and in the opposite direction. "If you'll excuse me, I think I'm going to get something to drink."
Jarrod nodded and Millie left, Judge Banner watching her closely as she disappeared amongst the crowd to the beverage table. "Charming girl." He commented after a moment. "You've done well with her, Jarrod."
"I can't take all the credit, Audra helped her get ready for the party this evening. I'm afraid though our little house guest is rather shy so don't take it personally that she left."
"Of course, I understand. This would all be very daunting for her." He turned back to Jarrod. "I've bought a copy of her custody papers with me, as of now you're her legal custodian for the next two months. At that time, we'll review. Are you still planning to go for permanent custody?"
"I am."
"Then in that case, I do hope the next couple of months go well for you both. I have contacts prepared to take Miss Anders case on if, at the end of the temporary custody period, it is deemed that this isn't a suitable arrangement for her." He paused for a moment. "You realize that people like to talk, Jarrod. I'm already bending the rules by allowing you temporary custody. The only reason why I'm willing to grant you custody is because you live with your family and they will be able to be involved in her care. Otherwise, given your bachelor status and being of no family relation to Miss Anders, I'd have had to refuse."
"I understand."
"Any rumors that may arise by you pursuing permanent custody of Miss Anders could be highly detrimental to your career and your standing within this community. Are you sure that you want to go through with this?"
Jarrod nodded. "I've given the points you've raised considerable thought already and yes, I do. Believe me judge, my intentions for wanting custody of Millie are strictly honorable. I only want what is best for her."
"Well, in that case-" He pulled an envelope from his pocket that he handed to Jarrod. "I wish you the very best of luck and I hope that this arrangement works out for you both."
"Thank you." Taking the envelope he tucked it into his own pocket. "Can I interest you in a drink, Judge?"
"Why yes, of course."
The two of them made their way over to the beverage table, their interaction having not slipped by Millie's notice. She'd been watching them intently from her new vantage point on the other side of the room as she'd sipped the punch that she'd gotten herself. While she couldn't make out their conversation, she had witnessed the Judge giving Jarrod an envelope and wondered what it might contain. Somehow, she had a feeling that the envelope had something to do with her, otherwise why would Jarrod make a point of introducing her to the gentleman when she hadn't been introduced to anyone else this evening?
The party continued on into the night and it was late before the guests started to leave. Millie hardly noticed when the room began emptying, so exhausted from being watchful and on edge that she could barely keep her eyes open. The sofa looked so inviting and she was so tired… She left her corner of the room and took up residence on the vacant sofa, falling asleep as her head hit the cushion.
It was nearly midnight when the Barkely's saw their final guests off, a light sprinkling of snow having begun to fall while the party had been in progress. Christmas Eve was over for another year, it would be Christmas day within the hour but they all needed to go to bed and get some sleep before it was morning again. The cleaning up from the party could wait until then.
"Well, that was lovely Mother." Audra commented as they waved off their last friends, the two of them returning inside. "I think our Christmas Eve party gets better every year."
Victoria smiled as she closed the door behind themselves, the house now quiet again after everyone had left. "I take it then you enjoyed the evening, dear."
"Oh, I did. It was lovely getting to catch up with Janette and Annie. I really should invite them to visit more often…"
Victoria and Audra disappeared up the stairs to go prepare for bed, Jarrod, Nick and Heath having one final quiet drink in the living room before returning for the night. Eugene had already gone to bed an hour ago, having stated that if he didn't get some sleep, he'd be a walking ghost for Christmas Day. Millie, well, she'd been asleep for nearly an hour, curled up on the sofa with her hands tucked in beneath her chin.
"Well-" Nick returned his empty glass to the tray on the table. "That's me. See you in the morning."
"Night Nick." Jarrod remarked as his younger brother left.
"I best be getting some sleep too" Heath added as he also stood then nodded over in the direction of Millie. "Looks like there's someone else you better be getting off to bed too."
Looking over, he smiled a little when he saw her sleeping peacefully. "She's had a long day. Did Nick tell you she spent the night gluing back together his ornament she broke yesterday?"
He nodded, watching her sleeping for a moment before turning back to his older brother. "When are you gonna tell Millie about you being given custody?"
"Tomorrow. Judge Banner brought the papers by tonight, I wanted to wait until I had them in hand to tell her." Jarrod paused, placing his empty glass on the tray with the others. "I just hope I'm doing the right thing."
"If it's what you want, it's the right thing. 'Sides, we all enjoy having her around. I know I do." Standing, he patted his brother on the shoulder. "And I'm sure it'll go just fine."
"Thank you for your vote of confidence, brother Heath."
He smiled. "Night Jarrod."
"Night."
Heath left and Jarrod was left alone in the living room, mulling over his thoughts for a moment as he watched Millie sleeping. He hoped he was doing the right thing by getting custody of the girl; at least, it was better than the alternative for her though on the other hand he did feel ill prepared to be raising her. It wasn't the same as him stepping up to take his father's place for his siblings when he'd been killed. This was a different ball game. Millie was a young woman with a troubled past that he knew he hadn't even scratched the surface of. If the scene that he had witnessed the other night with her was anything to go by, that poor girl had been through a lot of pain and suffering in her short life.
He wanted to help her but the question was how? Slowly it felt like he was gaining trust with her but she was still so closed and reserved. He couldn't help her if he didn't know what the trouble was. Another thing that played on his mind was the fact his custody of her was only temporary. He'd only been given two months in which to make considerable progress with Millie while also having to prove that him being granted permanent custody was in her best interest.
How would he cope if he failed her?
If, at the end of the two months, she had to go to an orphanage anyway?
Millie had a free and independent spirit; she had to in order to survive what she had gone through. Not many young women her age would have been able to live fending for herself with what little she had all those months she'd been living rough in the wilderness. It was that spirit that would be broken by being confined to an orphanage, or worse, being adopted out into a worse situation.
The system was broken, Jarrod knew that as well as any other lawyer. Any couple could turn up to an orphanage and adopt any child and sometimes, that child ended up in a bad situation. Most older children were only adopted for the fact that they were free labor and were treated horribly by their adopted parents.. Worse, some young girls were adopted only to be forced into prostitution. Millie was a beautiful looking young woman, she'd be fair game for anyone who was in the market for fresh workers for their clientele.
No, he had to make this work, regardless of what it took. Millie's future was at stake. He'd made a promise to himself the other night that he'd do everything he could to make sure she would never be hurt again and by George, he was going to keep it. Millie deserved better than the hand that life had dealt her.
The old grandfather clock struck midnight, pulling him back to the present. Rising from his seat he went over to Millie and placed his hand gently on her shoulder. "Wake up sweetheart. You can't spend the night here."
Blinking, Millie woke. "Oh…" She exclaimed sleepily as she sat up and looked around, seeing that everyone had disappeared. "Is the party over?"
He chuckled. "Yes. Come on, let's get you to bed."
Nodding, she allowed him to help her up, the girl still drowsy from her slumber that she stumbled a little as she climbed the stairs. Jarrod helped her to her room, Millie sitting down on the edge of her bed to remove her shoes. "My nightgown is over there." She motioned to the chair across the room she'd hung her nightgown over after dropping her second shoe on the floor. "Would you bring it over please?"
Jarrod went and brought over her nightgown, placing it on the bed beside her as Millie fiddled with the buttons on the back of her dress. "Can you give me a hand with these please?" She'd given up after a moment, her fingers not cooperating with the tiny buttons. "I'm never going to get out of this dress at this rate."
"How far do you need them undone?"
"Just enough so I can get it off. Usually Audra would help me but I didn't realize I'd fallen asleep…"
As she'd requested, Jarrod began unbuttoning the dress for her. "Did you have a good evening?"
"It was alright, I guess." She yawned. "I've never felt so out of place though in my life."
"Next time I'll introduce you to some girls your own age. You should try to make some friends."
"Never had friends before."
Continuing to unbutton her dress, Jarrod began to see the scars that crossed her shoulders. While he'd read her doctors reports and knew that she had them, seeing them for the first time made it real. Someone had actually taken a whip to the girl. His blood boiled as he kept going, the scars disappearing beneath her chemise and corset. He didn't need to see anymore then what he'd already had to guess what the rest of her back looked like. How could anyone be so cruel as to whip a child?
"That should be far enough, thank you." Millie exclaimed as she felt the dress loosening enough for her to get out of it. "Why anyone ever uses so many tiny little buttons on a dress is beyond me."
"Never made sense for me either." He replied, hoping his voice didn't give away his reaction to what he'd seen. "I'll leave you to change then."
"Could… Could you sit with me till I fall asleep?" She questioned as he went to leave. "It… Having you stay with me the other night was the first time I've been able to sleep in weeks."
"Alright. Just let me know once you've changed and I'll come back." She nodded and he stepped out of the room to give her privacy, closing the door behind himself. He took a deep breath, thinking over what he'd seen. If he ever met the person who had subjected that poor girl to such torture, he didn't know what he would do. He was a lawyer but there was no justice in the law for matters such as this. The law didn't protect the people who needed it the most; the children. Seeing her scars, it was all too painfully self-evident that the law fell short. More needed to be done to protect innocents like Millie from being abused.
"Finished."
At Millie's call he entered the room again, the girl already tucked in beneath the covers. "Hope it's not too much trouble you sittin' with me." She said softly as he brought the chair over and set it down beside her bed.
"No, it's no trouble at all."
Millie nodded, snuggling down beneath the blankets. "Makes me feel safe havin' you watching over me."
He smiled a little as she closed her eyes. "Would you like me to leave the lamp on low light?"
"Yes please. I don't like the dark." She replied sleepily. "Goodnight, Jarrod."
Jarrod smiled a little more. "Sleep tight honey. I'll see you in the morning."