Disclaimer: As always I own nothing but the original characters and the situations the characters find themselves in. Thanks so much for continuing to read and giving me feedback on my work. It's muchly appreciated and I do read every review you send me!

May Be Crazy

Clothes were not Eggsy's thing. Simple as that. He dressed like a chav because he was one. Or had been one. He was having a bit of an identity crisis thanks to all the shite that had been thrown his way over the last few days. So sue im. The point was he wasn't in love with the chav look, which was for the best now that he was going to be expected to dress like a posh bloke at least some of the time. Eggsy might not know a hell of a lot about fashion, but he did get that clothes said a lot about who you was in the grand scheme of things. It was why he'd worn a lot of the stuff he had, specially as a teenager. It was all about fittin in and lookin the part. His look had evolved, thank Christ, to the point where he liked what he saw in the mirror-but that had as much to do with him looking how he 'wanted' to look as it did his preferred sense of style.

He did like unusual accessories though. Specially his trainers. Anyone who didn't think shoes with wings like his were lit was mental.

Anyway, the point was Eggsy didn't doubt for a moment that it was in his best interests, at least to start, that he have as little to say about picking out the clothes as possible. Mostly because if he looked at the price tags Eggsy figured he'd put em back on the rack so fast he'd give everyone whiplash.

Even when he'd shoplifted, he'd done it on a budget.

So when Reece stopped in the middle of the shop and asked where they wanted to start Eggsy immediately spoke up with the plan he'd devised to save his sanity. At least temporarily.

"As the person with the least amount of fashion taste-sense-I nominate that all of you go find me sh-stuff ta try on while I wait in the fittin area with Daisy. I'll try on whatever and we'll go from there. Only I won't come out of the changin room if it don't fit or I don't like it. And don't tell me ow much any of it costs."

Eggsy wasn't surprise to see Reece looking thrilled with this turn of events. Bloke probably worked on commission. Uncle Taron was all but rubbing his hands together in glee as well, while Harry at least looked a little hesitate, bless em.

That being the case Eggsy got up on tip toes to give Harry's cheek a kiss. Both in thanks and further 'Reece is hot but you're my bloke' reassurance.

"It's fine, Harry. Really. And you lot have a better idea of what I have ta have then I do."

"Fine. But after the first round you will go through the shop and see if anything catches your eye."

"Deal."

"Aren't they adorable together?" Uncle Taron murmured to Reece, though of course he said it loud enough that the rest of them would hear. "I'll give you his sizes."

"Very adorable." Reece agreed with a grin. "And as much as I love to shop with a free rein...anything you don't like? Certain materials or colors?"

Taking a moment to consider that Eggsy thought about it, then shrugged. "Nah. I'm secure in my masculinity. I ain't gonna freak at pastels or nothin. Don't know much about materials-I ain't fond of roll-necks. And I don't like clothes I can't move easy in."

The flirty redhead grinned. "I can definitely work with that."

"Right. So off the lot of you go. Have your fun. Daisy and I will hang out and wait for ya."

To punctuate his edict Eggsy gave his uncle and Reece a cheeky wink and then pushed Daisy's pram forward and headed towards the area of the shop that he assumed held the fitting rooms. If not he'd find it eventually.

Thankfully for the sake of his ego Eggsy had indeed headed in the right direction and after parking Daisy across from him Eggsy took a seat in a very comfy chair that was nicely oversized and made him want to curl up in it. He didn't-but it was bloody tempting.

Looking for a distraction Eggsy pulled out his phone, accessed his contacts, and sent out a quick text message to his Uncle Will. A text he triple checked to make sure that there weren't any spelling errors or short forms. He didn't want to risk his uncle not responding.

'Hey, Uncle Will. Do you know what your dad wants with Harry tomorrow? Should I be worried? Respond immediately, please. Or there will be dumb blonde jokes.'

Keeping his phone out Eggsy watched the time and when a minute had passed without a response Eggsy followed through on his threat and continued to do so every minute because he was a man of his word. And knew a shit ton of dumb blonde jokes.

'What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever.'

'What do you call a blonde with two brain cells? Up the duff.'

'Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice carton? It said concentrate.'

'How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? No one knows. They ain't managed it yet.'

'Why'd the blonde cross the road? Who knows? She didn't make it.'

'Why'd the blonde dye her hair? She wanted some artificial intelligence.'

Eggsy rhymed off two more before his uncle finally responded.

'You do realize that with regular sun your hair will have a great deal of blond in it.'

'Good thing I live in London then.'

'Stop texting me jokes. And worrying about tomorrow. Hart can take care of himself.'

So everyone kept telling him, but Eggsy wasn't about to risk it. Ergo he sent back a text that insinuated that his uncle should really find a reason to be at that meeting in order to ensure that his father minded his manners where Harry was concerned.

'Hart won't thank you for insinuating he can't take care of himself. Now go to sleep. Good night.'

Seriously?

'Bruv, do ya realize what time it is? Only babies and old people are asleep right now. Are ya in bed? Cause if you are and you ain't got company that's just sad.'

"That's an interesting face you're making."

Looking up from his phone Eggsy smiled brightly to see Harry. "Texting Uncle Will. He told me ta go ta bed."

"A bit early for that."

"That's what I said."

A ping indicated a return text, drawing Eggsy's eyes back to his screen.

'You do recall we'll be sparring tomorrow, yes? And your last message was atrocious on a number of levels. A gentleman does not call people 'Bruv'. Or insult their elders.'

Well fuck.

'Night, Uncle Will. Sweet dreams.'

About to shove his phone back in his pocket it belatedly occurred to Eggsy that he was probably better off putting it in one of the handy pockets built in to the back of Daisy stroller. That way he wouldn't risk losing it somehow changing clothes all the time. Speaking of which...

"Where are your picks?"

"On the rack behind me. I thought to mix them all together, so you don't know who picked what."

"I figure you lot will pick some of the same stuff too."

Or at least Eggsy was hoping that that was the case. It would be a bit of amusement while the three of them turned him in ta a bloody Ken doll. Which made Eggsy sorta want ta sing that really old song about being a Barbie girl. But that one was before his time and just singing the chorus would get annoying right quick.

"There will likely be a little overlapping, yes. Though we've already put a few things back when we realized we'd grabbed similar items."

Damn. "I guess I have ta wait until Uncle Taron comes back before I try anything on, right?"

Looking very amused Harry agreed that yes, that would be wise.

Taking a seat beside Eggsy Harry gave his side a nudge with his elbow. "It won't be as bad as you're imagining."

"Yeah, I know." Probably.

Chuckling, Harry reached out and tipped Eggsy's chin a little, Eggsy grinning as he leaned in for the kiss he saw coming. Mmmm. He'd try on a hundred clothes if it got him kisses from Harry.

Enjoying the easy snogging with happy sighs Eggsy wasn't sure how long they kissed for before Uncle Taron's loud throat clearing caught their attention. And killed the mood since you shouldn't make out in front of family members. Eggsy knew that from experience. Watching his mum make out with her various blokes had always turned his stomach a little, and that was even if he liked the guy well enough.

So pulling back with a sigh of disappointment Eggsy briefly rubbed his nose with Harry's.

"Later."

"So fucking adorable. I wonder how soon it will be before it gets nauseating?"

Eggsy joined Harry in giving his uncle a less than impressed look.

)

Despite all his reassurances Harry had been worried that Eggsy would find the trying on of clothes stressful, if for no other reason then the price tags on the garments in question. But thus far Eggsy hadn't commented on that once, which suggested the boy was still stubbornly refusing to look at the tags in question. Which was probably for the best. Harry might not know what Eggsy's previous clothes had costed, but going by the poor quality he could make an educated guess. These clothes weren't just a step up, they were practically a trip around the world in comparison.

As for the clothes themselves Eggsy had only refused to come out four times, three of the times because the item in question didn't fit him properly. The other one-well Eggsy had just said a firm no and returned the shirt to the hanger.

The rest of the clothes Eggsy was thankfully at least willing to be seen in. Some suited him more than others of course, and sadly more than a few items had Eggsy fidgeting in obvious discomfort despite how amazing they looked on him. But Eggsy was the one wearing them, so those too were returned to the rack.

Either way it was going well enough that Harry joined Taron and Reece in jolting very badly when out of nowhere the silence was broken by a very loud exclamation.

"ARE YOU FUCKIN KIDDIN ME?!"

In near perfect synch Harry and Taron got to their feet while saying Eggsy's name in question.

And the young man in question answered by shoving open the door to the change room he was using and came marching out towards them wearing nothing but tight, black boxer briefs and a scowl as he waved around a pair of jeans.

"What the hell? Do ya have any idea how much these bloody things cost?!"

Understanding dawned, but Harry was just a little too distracted at the moment to say so.

Thankfully Taron was not as Eggsy's uncle reminded his nephew that Daisy was still sleeping.

Immediately looking towards the pram Eggsy muttered something about how she'd slept through way worse and then continued on his rant, his voice forcefully pitched to a more reasonable level. "These jeans cost over a thousand fucking pounds. A thousand! For fucking jeans. Do ya know how much a pair of jeans costs at Tesco? Ya can get some for four fucking pounds!"

"Seriously?" Taron's jaw dropped a little.

"Four pounds?" Harry tried to wrap his mind around that.

"Tesco sells jeans?" Reece's tone was a mixture of horror and morbid glee.

Crossing his arms in front of him, which made the muscles in them stand out very becomingly, Eggsy informed them that he was dead serious.

"You buy your jeans at Tesco?" Taron made it sound like Eggsy had been eating out of garbage cans and sleeping in alleyways for years.

Which sadly Harry wouldn't be surprised to hear had possibly happened in the past. A thought that turned his stomach a lot more than the idea that Eggsy had been wearing clothes that were little better than rags in the fashion world.

"Not usually, no. Plus they just started-I usually pay-that don't matter. What does matter is that my whole fucking wardrobe back home didn't cost me as much as these bloody things!"

Harry hoped that that was an exaggeration. "No offense meant, Eggsy, but a great deal of your wardrobe was made in sweat shops. That these were made by people paid fairly for their work affects the price quite a bit, I'm afraid."

"Point. But are ya really tryin ta tell me that the majority of those thousand pounds are goin ta the people who make these things? Cause if ya are make sure ta pull both my legs so I don't walk funny."

Taron and Reece both snickered at that, Harry smiling as he inclined his head in acknowledgement of Eggsy's point.

"Fair enough."

"I ain't buyin these. I don't care how great my arse looks in em."

"Definitely not as good as your arse looks in nothing but your pants."

Eggsy stared at his uncle, then looked down at himself. Realizing then, it seemed, that he had come out wearing nothing but the aforementioned pants. It was adorable the way he colored up in reaction.

"Right. Next outfit."

Spinning around on his heels Eggsy headed back to the change room, putting his lovely arse on display for their viewing pleasure before the fitting room door closed behind him.

"Right. The clothes that he's already said yes to-let's go pay for those now so we can remove the tags so he doesn't see them. Harry, keep him distracted when he comes out. And take pictures if he looks good enough we need to buy them. Possibly at another point in time."

"Understood."

So off Taron went with Reece, Harry remaining behind with only a sleeping Daisy for company until Eggsy came out again, this time fully dressed in simple black trousers and a baby blue shirt that was just a tad too tight on him in Harry's opinion.

"The color suits you but we'd need to get you a size bigger. Possibly two given the way you're likely to bulk up in the very near future."

"I'd show them muscles off, but I ain't sure the shirt would let me. I do like the color though. And I'm not lookin at the price. Wouldn't have looked at the jeans, but I have a pair at home that's real similar so I-fuck I shouldn't ave looked."

Getting to his feet Harry walked over and drew Eggsy into his arms, smiling at how easily Eggsy snuggled into him. How perfectly they somehow fit as they wrapped their arms around each other's waists. Well, save for the one hand Harry kept free so that he could cup the back of Eggsy's head.

"Would it make it better or worse to remind you that it's not your money being spent?"

Eggsy was quiet for a minute. "Neither. It sucks either way."

"Because you're thinking of all the other ways that money could be spent, correct?"

Harry could feel Eggsy nod against his shoulder.

"Understandable. And your uncles are extremely generous with their money. They donate to a number of charities every year. You'll be able to do the same in the future."

Eggsy tipped his head back to meet Harry's gaze. "Yeah?"

"Yes. And given your experiences I'm sure you'll do a lot of good with the money you're inheriting in the future. While also remembering that you're allowed to enjoy the benefits of having money to spare. Spending more than most would on a pair of jeans doesn't make you a horrible person."

"Feels like it."

Harry couldn't pretend to relate as he'd always had money and would never presume to suggest that he knew what it was like to live as Eggsy once had. To do so would be unforgivably arrogant of him. And rightfully earn him a fist in the face or being kicked out of Eggsy's bed at the very least.

That being the case Harry settled for asking Eggsy if he'd had enough shopping for one night. They didn't have to stay any longer if Eggsy would rather go home.

Pulling back more Eggsy looked around them for the first time. Then made a sound of rueful amusement. "Uncle Taron's buyin the stuff from before already, ain't he?"

"Yes. I'm to supervise until he gets back."

A loud sigh.

"Nah. I'll stick it out till the end. But no more clothes after the stuff already picked out. I'm done after that."

"That seems a fair compromise. I'll back you up if necessary."

"Thanks, Harry."

"Of course, Darling."

That got him a beaming smile, Eggsy's grin turning more mischievous. "And sorry bout the little show I gave Reece earlier. Wasn't thinkin."

"It's all right. He knows you're coming home with me tonight. As do I."

Another big smile, Eggsy sliding his hands up Harry's chest before settling them on Harry's shoulders, the shorter man shifting up on his toes to press their lips together.

Harry happily enjoyed the delights of Eggsy's mouth until Taron and Reece came back to once again interrupt them. A bad habit of theirs, Harry thought as he lifted his head to see the two smirking at them.

Taron's grin was as wide as Eggsy's had been. "That shirt's too tight on you."

"That's what Harry said too."

"I'll go get that shirt in a bigger size. The color really suits you." Reece stated with an appreciative look in his eyes that Harry completely understood-but still didn't appreciate as he drew Eggsy in a little bit closer.

Which Eggsy didn't seem to mind at all.