*****A Cursed Existence*****
Entry 5: …Because You Might Get It
AN: As promised, here's the second half of the previous chapter; though I must admit I was tempted to wait a few days more to allow for more reviews. But alas, a promise is a promise, and so here it is. I'm just happy someone reviewed at all before I posted.
Tom712: Heh. No worries there, my friend. There are certain levels of adorableness and innocence I wouldn't dare hurt simply for it being a crime against the universe.
Fair warning: when I say this is where the plot truly starts picking up, I mean it. The last few chapters have been nice and calm, but after this… let's just say those quiet and peaceful moments will be rare and very much so valued by the SI. So, without further ado: shall we begin?
November 30th, 2182, 6:23 pm EST. (53 minutes later)
"-so then I said 'Oh, well it's not that surprising, I mean she's always been a little-" Ceora went on while I smiled and occasionally nodded politely, taking a small bite out of my food.
The restaurant was, thankfully, within the range of "normal" by Ceora's standards, so all she did upon our arrival is comment that she'd wanted to come here for months now but could never find a reason to. After telling the receptionist my name and that I'd made a reservation, we were led to a small two person table seemingly designed for dating couples. Not surprising, really, considering even back in my last life such a thing was common.
After ordering our food – I tried something new while I had the opportunity and selected a steak from some farm animal on Thessia along with an assortment of diced vegetables, while Ceora ordered a type of local shellfish and soup that was apparently popular – my date and I began to talk. The problem was, I didn't really have much to talk about, while Ceora… well, by asari standards she was still just a teen that only barely qualified as an adult, so, in a way, you could say she was a young and energetic teenage girl. Suffice to say, she was far from lacking in topics to "discuss."
Have I mentioned I'm a very good listener? I don't think I have… Well I am. Turns out growing up without a mom results in a person not being the most talkative type, but I did learn how to listen – or in some cases, convincingly pretend I was listening – to other people talk and talk and talk…
Have I mentioned Ceora was a teenage girl from a race of aliens known for being social and talkative? I think I have… Anyway, the point is that she liked to talk about nearly everything; and while normally I'd just tune out such a thing and feign slight interest by adding in a comment of my own here and there to make it appear like I was indeed still listening, this time around I did in fact listen rather than pretend to.
Why should I care who a famous asari actress is? What's so important about the different cars and car companies out there? What's so special about that one show "everybody's seen?" Individually, the answer is nothing. Put them together however… and I was getting a full education about modern asari culture straight from the source. Like I said: I'm not much of a talker… but when I want to be, I am a very good listener.
What made this even funnier, from my point of view anyway, was that I didn't even try to start her talking; she did it all on her own without any prompting. It was almost too easy… no wait, it was absolutely too easy, just not in a bad way for once. Heh. Teenagers…
Listening to Ceora explain the intricacies of why salarians in general weren't considered popular bondmate material for asari – that is, under the guise of her explaining why her last date resulted in her discovering why the species wasn't her type – I suddenly felt that most natural of bodily functions calling to me.
"I hate to interrupt, but if you could excuse me I'll be right back. I need to use the restroom," I told her with a winning smile while standing up, and as she'd ordered something a little stronger than simple tea or fruit juice as her drink – she was, technically speaking, of legal age after all – she flushed at my words and smiled back.
"Don't be long!" she said cheerfully with a wave and what could charitably be described as a slight tilt to the left, only to immediately correct her balance… and start tilting to the right instead.
So, I thought with a smirk, she's a lightweight then. What a downright pity that I don't drink myself, otherwise I could experience the fabulous sensation of the world spinning before my eyes and losing all sensation in my extremities, never mind the wonderful loss in control over my rationality.
Stifling a chuckle at the, to my mind, nonsensical practice of consuming a literal poison like alcohol – who needs the extra substances to feel good anyway? Just indulge in temporary insanity if you want to lose control of yourself and make all your problems disappear; works for me – I quickly found my destination and allowed myself a short-lived sigh of contentment.
Coming out of the restroom five minutes later, I nearly bumped into a woman simultaneously entering it. "Oh, sorry about that."
"Hmm? What? Oh, of course," she waved off before entering the public restroom, not bothering to give me a second glance, and I merely ignored the slight rudeness shown by her.
That is, I did until I realized that when I saw a woman, I actually saw a woman and not an asari that I simply labeled as a woman. On top of that, while I didn't get a good look at her face, I was certain I'd seen her before from somewhere – her accent vaguely British or Australian unless I was mistaken, and her skin the color of light, but not quite pale, beachside sand – but the well-maintained, long, platinum blonde hair ruined whatever mental image I had in mind.
"A human? Here? We're on the opposite end of Alliance space, so why would…" I muttered in thought before thinking more on it. "No, Calabsa may be on the literal opposite side of the galaxy from Earth and her colonies, but the Terminus Systems are right next door. Probably just a mercenary visiting here in her spare time between jobs," I reasoned, explaining it away as coincidence.
While on the way back to my table (and the somewhat tipsy Ceora hopefully still waiting for me) I caught sight of yet another human I hadn't seen before now, two in fact, though this time both of them were men and sitting at a table discussing something. And after seeing them, I also noticed a large group of mercs almost entirely comprised of humans and/or asari wearing either yellow and black or white and blue armor, which could only have been Eclipse and Blue Suns. They must've arrived while I was still in the restroom, because there was no chance I could've missed them on the trip there.
Huh. Wonder what's going on? From my understanding, Blue Suns and Eclipse are rivals, so I doubt they're under the same employer. Maybe the two at the table are the ones that hired them? Well, no matter; none of my business. I'll just leave them be and go around.
It was at this moment that something happened I almost didn't notice: somewhere in the distance and yet somehow right next to me, I heard someone huff. Followed by light, almost airy snickering that I definitely did notice. Childish snickering.
Oh fu- I wasn't even allowed to complete the thought before one of the two men in finely made, if foreign to my eyes, business suits suddenly looked in my direction, almost immediately spotting my gaze.
Shit-fuck-dammit-! I spat internally, meanwhile keeping an impassive look on my face only through sheer force of will; hoping beyond hope that the man who spotted me would just assume I was harmlessly curious rather than a threat for whatever reason. While I know I've mentioned it before, at that point in time I was positively gleeful that asari don't and can't sweat.
In spite of my hopes – which were torn into tiny, itty bitty shreds right before my eyes – the man's eyes widened for a moment, and I prepared for the worst… only to feel immense confusion when he smiled like one would to an old friend and waved me over.
…Huh?
…Huh?!
…HUH?!
But that doesn't-then why would that hag Agatha-but I don't-?!
I was so caught up in my confusion that I apparently allowed it to show on my face, making the man frown slightly. It was only upon closer inspection that I realized the brown-haired man with a truly strange beard and small, shrewd eyes looked… not really familiar, to be honest, though he had a face that stuck with you if you saw it; nevertheless I felt I should've recognized him. And what was even stranger was that I knew I did, but I couldn't quite place from where; like there were two images of the man in my head that looked subtly different enough to each other that while I knew they were the same person, I could easily spot the differences between the two faces when comparing them side-by-side. It was… an odd feeling, to say the least.
It appeared that again I'd allowed my confusion to show on my face as the man got up from his chair, gesturing to me when the one seated opposite of him apparently asked what he was looking at. Then, just when I felt I was close to figuring out who the first man was, he faced me fully and spoke up in a thick South African accent that I'd have trouble forgetting even if I tried. "Ms. V'Seila, come now, it hasn't been that long since we've last seen each other, has it?"
And just like that, the final piece of the puzzle slipped into place.
"Donovan Hock?" I breathed out just above a whisper. Or at least I thought I did; I must've said it loud enough for him to catch judging by his raised eyebrow.
"That is my name, yes. Surely, you haven't forgotten me already?"
Forgotten? Hah? Surly I… haven't forgotten… him? Hah?! HAH?! BUT-I'VE NEVER EVEN-I ONLY KNEW HIM FROM-!
And just like that, my mind went blank with too many things running through it to keep track of; unable to formulate any coherent trains of thought before said train crashed, caught fire, exploded, and was then bulldozed over for no particular reason. As a result, I experienced something shift internally that I couldn't quite properly describe.
Ever had a moment in your life where your brain outright refuses to go from point A to point B like you want it to? Where, in the simplest terms, it refuses to function; leaving you running on complete autopilot afterward, as if someone else had put their hand on the mental steering wheel to keep you from crashing? Because up until that point in time, it'd never once happened to me.
Feeling as if I'd taken a step back, in spite of my body not having moved an inch, I widened my eyes a little and made a small "oh!" sound before answering him in the same friendly tone the man himself had used when talking to me. "Ah yes, Donovan, it's been quite some time indeed! I'm afraid my mind's been so distracted lately that I didn't recognize you for a moment, which I am truly sorry for doing." To anyone else, the words probably sounded sincere and genuinely apologetic. However, as the one speaking them, I could tell instantly that the inflections I placed on them were… fake. Very, very fake.
But… while that's partially true, it implies I've seen him before now… which I haven't… have I?
I received no answer to that… bar my own eyebrow going up a little in what I knew was amusement of a sort. Of course I knew what that expression meant on my face, better than anyone else in fact. I'm me. Aren't I?
Seemingly ignoring my internal dilemma, I walked up to Donovan Hock – formerly a throwaway DLC villain from the second game in the series, now a real, living person roughly three years before his demise at the hands of Shepard – and shook his hand. Just a simple shake of the hand with someone responsible for who knows how many thefts, murders, and other morally reprehensible acts; and I followed the shake with a pleasant smile. It wasn't the one I reserved for potential dates like with Ceora, or the hostile smile that promised that whatever I was about to do I'd enjoy it, especially if the other person wouldn't; it was simply an ordinary smile between friends. Which made no sense at all.
"How have you been doing lately, Donovan? Business in the Traverse as prosperous as always?" I asked him almost jovially, as if referencing some private joke.
Whatever the joke was, Hock knew it too, because he smirked at the latter sentence. "It is indeed. My company has been expanding quite a bit in recent years, and has brought in quite the hefty sum. But alas, I am afraid my purpose here is not to reminisce on my business' success, but rather to improve its standing even further."
"Pardon the interruption, Mr. Hock, but I am a busy man," the second man at the table, who was still sitting, calmly but firmly spoke up, and with a similar accent to the woman from earlier, drawing my gaze. Again, I felt as if I recognized him from somewhere; but rather than Hock, who was a solvable puzzle where I already held most of the pieces, the second man in comparison was only the vague outline of a puzzle with just a few scattered pieces to choose from.
His hair was swept back and mostly grey with a few areas of black, he had a five o'clock shadow that was obviously intentional judging by how finely groomed he was, and his eyes… they looked like those of a man that'd stop at nothing to get what he wants. Cold, calculating, intelligent and most of all, ruthless. I almost wanted to respect him for managing to display, for all to see no less, so many facets of his personality with just his gaze alone.
Almost.
Though, I'm not sure what's scarier about these observations: the fact I was now being carefully examined by such a man, who paused on my face to get every detail, or the fact that I noticed all this information barely a second after I conducted my own examination of him.
My thoughts aside, the first of the two men nodded at that and turned towards me again. "Of course. As always, a pleasure seeing you again Mirilley, but as you can see, I am not free at the moment. Perhaps another time," Hock, a man so hungry for power he fully intended to blackmail the entire Alliance in the not-so-distant future, told me politely – politely of all things! – in essence asking for me to leave. I, in turn, sent him a somewhat apologetic look and nodded.
"Likewise. A pity we couldn't talk further, but as you humans say, business before pleasure. Until we meet again," I ended it with a courteous little half-bow, one that I easily recognized as being the same bow Aena always gave me when I dismissed her.
After that brief exchange, I walked away from their table back to my own with a confident – and judging by the looks sent my way, seductive – swagger. As if I knew exactly the reaction it would cause, but rather than avoid attracting attention I decided to give the onlookers a taste. I knew I looked good, and I held the power to show it off at my leisure without worrying about what people thought of me because of it. Am I being arrogant? Prideful? Self-patronizing? Strutting like a peacock? Hardly. It wasn't arrogance or pride to display a simple fact, after all.
It felt… well, liberating was the wrong word, and empowering in this case was unnecessary; I already had power, no need to merely pretend I did. Except… No, this isn't right; I'm not the type to purposely stand out in a crowd, and I've never considered myself the main attraction of any room I enter. This doesn't make any sense… or does it?
"Later…" I whispered, and not seeing anyone in front of me that it could've been meant for I blinked internally, even more confused. As if sensing such a thing, I sighed. "We'll discuss this later," I clarified, still in a whisper.
O…kay? was all I managed to respond with. Suffice to say, finding out I could quite literally talk with myself didn't serve to help my already disorganized mind.
Putting a little extra sway to my steps as I went back to my table, I soon caught sight of the now tottering Ceora; the poor girl unable to sit strait. Sighing, I looked for and found our table's waitress, heading strait for her while she was carrying some plates. "I'm leaving now, so if you could charge the bill to my omni-tool, it would be appreciated. And give yourself a 20 credit tip for good service."
"Oh!" the Maiden jumped a little in surprise at me showing up seemingly from nowhere, before taking a closer look at my face and smiling brightly. "Ah yes, of course. Are you sure you wish to leave now, though? Your friend just ordered a refill for her brandy, and I'd have to charge that as well according to company policy."
Is it strange I felt both the physical and mental urge to facepalm at that? Anyway, resisting said urge, I merely sighed in exasperation. "Yes, I'm sure."
"Very well. And thank you for choosing us today!"
"Yes, yes…" I muttered, already walking back towards my table. As I had yet to stop swaying my hips – that is, swaying them just a little bit, mind you – I wasn't surprised to feel several pairs of eyes watching me go, and when Ceora noticed me that number further increased by one. Even thoroughly plastered – as she undoubtedly was, such is the result of her having no moderation and being a lightweight after all – she came remarkably close to hiding her wandering gaze as it traced my figure. Close, but not quite. Which, while throwing my thoughts even further into a state of confusion, this time over whether or not I was honestly contemplating taking advantage of a quite likely drunk teenager, it nonetheless made my lips curl into a pleased smile.
"Still got it," I said to myself with a certain sense of approval, taking the last few steps up to the table.
"Wow! Uh, Miri, is it just me or are you somehow twice as sexy as you were before? Because Goddess do you look good. Tee-hee!" Ceora told me dreamily, giggling the last part like a particularly silly school girl. Yup. She was drunk.
And just like that, ignoring the knowledge of her current intoxication, my confusion was gone and replaced with indignation. Hey, it wasn't THAT much of a change! I looked good before, too! Wait, why am I even getting upset over a compliment?! And what's so special about the me now compared to before!? I'm not even doing anything different besides walking around like I own the place!
"Oh, yes, you have a lot to learn," I said with a snort; though considering the rather eloquent "Huh?" from Ceora, it was probably intended for me. Talking to myself in the second person while thinking in the first is weiirrd.
Absently nodding in agreement with myself – like I said: weiirrd – I sat down and then ignored Ceora's questioning (and slightly hazy) look, and finished the last few mouthfuls of my food, savoring the taste of finely made steak like any true connoisseur. That done with, I glanced at the girl's plate across from me and, seeing she was also finished (though with her being drunk, there was no telling how long it'd stay down) I got back up again. "Good, you're finished. Time to go."
She blinked at me dumbly, before some of the fog in her eyes seemed to clear up… only for any thoughts on my end of her sobering to be proven wrong by her petulant tone. "But I don't wanna! I still have another drinks to finhash!"
Before you ask, yes, she did indeed say finhash rather than finish and drinks rather than drink.
Sighing long-sufferingly, I just stared at her, feeling an odd sensation right behind my eyes and at the back of my skull. "Ceora, it's time to go. I think you've had more than enough."
If anything, the previous hazy look in her eyes became even stronger at that, but I was surprised when all she said was a slightly hollow sounding "Okay." After the display of submission, Ceora stood up shakily and, not wanting the kid to hurt herself, I pulled one of her arms over my shoulders and we slowly made our way out of the restaurant. Not without getting stares, naturally, but I paid them about as much attention as one would a dull minded child staring up at the clouds.
As we half walked, half shuffled out of the building, my thoughts finally had time to collect themselves from how scattered they were. Wait, it can't be normal for someone, a drunk especially, to do a complete 180 like that! What just happened?!
"Athame, are you slow at times…" I muttered low enough for only me to hear, now going across the parking lot to my car with Ceora in tow. Though judging by the way I had to start dragging her – which became far easier after yet another odd sensation from the back of my skull, this time accompanied by my left arm glowing a recognizable, in fact quite familiar, biotic blue – she had apparently dozed off somewhere along the way.
Ooooff course I can use biotics… why, it should come naturally to any asari… and now I feel stupid for not using, or at least not even trying to use them before now.
"Well, I did try and give you some help when I could," I said reasonably, and I did indeed remember having the strong urge to test out my biotics several times over the past few weeks; I just never did so because I told myself I had no idea where to even begin. "Anyway, back to what I was about to say earlier: sometimes, you amaze me with your ability to miss or purposefully and intentionally ignore the obvious regarding… our circumstances. I mean it's not hard to figure out if you put all the pieces together. I think you know what I'm talking about…" I trailed off expectantly, not speaking as quietly as I did before now that Ceora was out for the count, but still keeping my voice low.
Wait, so as in… how I woke up next to a… body… from the night before laying next to me… and…
"And?" I said leadingly when I didn't finish the thought. I wasn't rushing myself, but somehow I recognized the levels of patience I was displaying right now, alongside… weary resignation for some reason. Even if I didn't say it – and I mean the "I" as in the one audibly speaking – I knew I wouldn't like the conclusion I was about to reach.
And… oh God… the incinerator in the toolshed, the pre-established guidelines for disposing of bodies, the reclusive lifestyle far away from any potentially nosy neighbors, the extremely vivid and detailed memories of others' lives, the... –I experienced the sensation of paling, even though my body's expression didn't change at all – …the stories on the news about that Justicar lead investigation and how yesterday they found out about several other people that also mysteriously vanished over the past few years… I… I'm a…
When I again couldn't complete the thought I sighed a deep, tired, defeated and yet somehow also accepting sigh. "Correct, we are indeed one of 'those things,' as you so politely put it this morning. So, how does it feel being told you're a 'demon of the night winds'?"
In answer, I did the only thing I could do in this situation: I let myself collapse into a boneless heap and my eyes shut of their own accord. In other words, I managed to knock myself out.
…
…
…
"Humans…" Miri muttered while shaking her head, no longer locking her muscles in place to keep from collapsing, "always so dramatic."
The two of them finally arrived back at her car before much longer, and she opened the passenger door and gently put the girl in the seat without a sound because of her still being asleep. That taken care of, Miri went to the other side and got in the driver's seat, the car lifting off and asking for a destination, as expected. "Well, if his track record is anything to go by, he should recover in an hour or two after he wakes up. Of course, there's no telling when he might wake up, so in the meantime I'll drop off 'sleeping beauty'," she couldn't help but chuckle at the term she picked up from the other her, who wasn't truly her but him instead; and on that they agreed how confusing this entire situation was, "back home with mommy dearest before he comes out of it. And if I still have time to act once I get back to my own home… I have some work to do."
So, that happened. I know, very eloquent of me. I wonder if anyone can guess who that second man meeting with Donovan Hock was… or even who that unusual woman "I" ran into outside the restroom was… they're both rather important, I can assure you. No further hints however; that would be telling.
Now before you tear me a new one with complaints about "this becoming boring" or "not what I came here to read," please, hear me out: I do in fact have a plan for how this will go, and Miri's current mental state is all part of his/her character growth. I'm taking a bit of inspiration from another Mass Effect SI/split-personality story I read awhile ago, but I'm trying to fix what I perceived as the mistakes with how that author wrote it. The current "problems" s/he's experiencing will be resolved in due time, and the SI will return to a more "balanced" mindset similar (emphasis on similar) to prior chapters soon enough; but for now, Miri (I leave it to your imagination if I mean the SI or the original) will be forced to deal with having a… somewhat more vocal voice in his/her head than most people would be comfortable with. If this isn't what you're looking for and you're not willing to give it a chance to develop, then I truly am sorry to disappoint you. But, if you don't mind it and are willing to stick around, I guarantee the ride only gets wilder from here.
Right, disgustingly large paragraph meant to keep from alienating my readers aside, I hope you enjoyed and I'll see you next time!